Weird and baffling: a couple selling "golden tickets to heaven”

[thepainterdoug]

Hi all. I came across this and wanted to post it. Maybe this could be a new thread?

"Weird and baffling News" ? lol Anyhow, read this one.

A married couple in Florida, Tito and Amanda Watts, were arrested a few days ago for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people.
They sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold, and that each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven — simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in.
Tito Watts said in his police statement: "I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of drugs. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up...."
Amanda Watts said in her police statement:" "We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and do drugs. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched."
Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, drug paraphernalia, and a baby alligator.

[T Smith]

Hi all. I came across this and wanted to post it. Maybe this could be a new thread?

"Weird and baffling News" ? lol Anyhow, read this one.

A married couple in Florida, Tito and Amanda Watts, were arrested a few days ago for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people.
They sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold, and that each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven — simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in.
Tito Watts said in his police statement: "I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of drugs. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up...."
Amanda Watts said in her police statement:" "We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and do drugs. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched."
Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, drug paraphernalia, and a baby alligator.

Bizarre. Sounds like the plot of a Kurt Vonnegut novel. But as we all know, the truth is often stranger than fiction...

[Pam]

I wonder if the fact that they had 10,000.00 dollars means that they actually sold some of those tickets? That would mean that about 100 people believed the story. If that is the case that is truly unbelievable...have some us sunk to that level of gullibility. Who knows the money might have been obtained by other means but that is about the weirdest scam I have ever heard of. And the poor baby alligator! Tito doesn't instill a huge amount of confidence in me either with the weird tatoos.

[thepainterdoug]

my feeling is, they are better than politicians and government, at least they are giving you hope

[ExomatrixTV]

my feeling is, they are better than politicians and government, at least they are giving you hope

Even if you think your logic is true ... how does anything based upon a scam/hoax/lie/deception gives you "hope" is beyond me! ... How many proven false hopes do people have to experience before they know that some "hope" is just not hope at all, but a psychological bait/trick to lure you in to certain mind-games.

Admitting you are given false hope (based upon a scam) does not mean you must be deprived of a real, genuine hope (not based upon a scam) elsewhere! ... They are not mutual exclusive.


I guess only really desperate people may think in: "all or nothing" mentality?
BeLIEved lies is the only real currency for: psychopaths, sociopaths, control freaks, scammers, thieves, con-artists, corrupt politicians, fraudulent "scientists" etc. etc.

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[Lunesoleil]

the effect of lack of drug use?
And where does all this money come from exactly???

[East Sun]

A lot of things that people believe or are conditioned into believing today seem unreal
and it may be because of the bio-weapons effects on them. And some that I know
personally just don't want to hear what to me is totally logical.

After being made aware of what was just the beginning of this, last three years and earlier,
state of our world I could see what was happening.

Even in my own family no one listened to me. (I know that was the experience of a lot of people.)
The biggest majority of the population were fooled. And that is sad.

[Gwin Ru]

...

... Jerry Marzinsky, Mental Health Counselor: "Voices are Entities" 1/2 (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?99433-Jerry-Marzinsky-Mental-Health-Counselor-Voices-are-Entities-1-2)

[thepainterdoug]

John Exomatrix.

It was said in kinda of a tongue in cheek manner. Its more a comment on the con of our so called sane and sober politicians than these two people. They take and take our tax dollars and promise but dont deliver.

[ExomatrixTV]

John Exomatrix.

It was said in kinda of a tongue in cheek manner. Its more a comment on the con of our so called sane and sober politicians than these two people. They take and take our tax dollars and promise but dont deliver.


ah ok :beer:

[Matthew]

I'm dubious that anyone bought the tickets. I wouldn't even buy golden tickets to heaven from the smartest couple on the street let alone a couple with eyeballs like that. Unless they had their own cult? What was that thing they were going on about? A drug planet? They can't deal with this one's. I hope they get inspired by the real Jesus or at least a better one than they found :bigsmile:

[DeDukshyn]

I needed a good laugh ... thanks Doug. That was amazing - nearly spit my coffee at the baby alligator part.

[Mari]

I wonder if the fact that they had 10,000.00 dollars means that they actually sold some of those tickets? That would mean that about 100 people believed the story. If that is the case that is truly unbelievable...have some us sunk to that level of gullibility. Who knows the money might have been obtained by other means but that is about the weirdest scam I have ever heard of. And the poor baby alligator! Tito doesn't instill a huge amount of confidence in me either with the weird tatoos.

Pam, I'm not in the least surprised about the 'gullability' of the human race. The past three years of the 'covid' scam have shown me that it's oh so easy to convince the majority of us to do the bidding of those who do not have our best interests at heart.

[Mari]

my feeling is, they are better than politicians and government, at least they are giving you hope


.....and a good laugh...if going to 'heaven' means having to be pulled through a hedge backwards first, then those two are a worthy advert..

[RatRodRob...RRR]

Hi all. I came across this and wanted to post it. Maybe this could be a new thread?

"Weird and baffling News" ? lol Anyhow, read this one.

A married couple in Florida, Tito and Amanda Watts, were arrested a few days ago for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people.
They sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold, and that each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven — simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in.
Tito Watts said in his police statement: "I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of drugs. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up...."
Amanda Watts said in her police statement:" "We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and do drugs. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched."
Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, drug paraphernalia, and a baby alligator.

If you think these two are a bit on the stupid side, what about the hundreds who bought the tickets........lmao.
Jesus gives them the tickets "Behind the KFC".....fairdinkum, that made me laugh out loud.
"You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up....".... ha that made me laugh harder than the first one.
And to top it all off..........."I din do nuffin", this is the funniest thread ive seen here in my short time, thanx for the laugh............RRR

[Mark (Star Mariner)]

Those are the most meth-tastic mugshots I've ever seen. A bizarre story, but nonethelss hilarious. A planet made entirely of drugs!

I can't believe they actually sold a single ticket. Or even if there even were any tickets. But if there were, and they did, then the most damning thing of all is that people exist who would for it! Anyone can misplace their trust, or have a weak moment, but this takes the cake. To part with a hundred dollars for this - to hand it over to them? You gotta be as dumb as a donkey's arse.

https://i.vgy.me/96hL0q.gif

[Strat]

Not to be the party pooper but I believe this story is fake.

https://web.archive.org/web/20160726064327/http://jacksonville.suntimes.com/jax-news/7/115/146332/couple-arrested-selling-golden-tickets-heaven/

UPDATE: This story turned out to be an April Fool’s joke, and unfortunately we fell for it. The story, which several other websites also reported as fact, originated on March 31 with the website Stuppid.com, and the photos of the fictional “Tito and Amanda Watts” came from this 2011 collection of bizarre mug shots. We apologize for publishing false information and regret this error.

The photograph of “Tito Watts” that accompanied the original article was an unrelated 2011 image taken from a collection of bizarre police mugshots

[Brigantia]

Not to be the party pooper but I believe this story is fake.

https://web.archive.org/web/20160726064327/http://jacksonville.suntimes.com/jax-news/7/115/146332/couple-arrested-selling-golden-tickets-heaven/

UPDATE: This story turned out to be an April Fool’s joke, and unfortunately we fell for it. The story, which several other websites also reported as fact, originated on March 31 with the website Stuppid.com, and the photos of the fictional “Tito and Amanda Watts” came from this 2011 collection of bizarre mug shots. We apologize for publishing false information and regret this error.

The photograph of “Tito Watts” that accompanied the original article was an unrelated 2011 image taken from a collection of bizarre police mugshots

Oh well, we all had a good laugh about it! It's a pretty good April Fool.

[thepainterdoug]

Thanks Strat

perhaps just another fake story in a sea of our fake reality. no matter to me, after all, what is fake or real?

mods, sink this ship if you like

pd

[Jim_Duyer]

So which part was illegal - visiting KFC, wishing to go to space, or having a gator?

[Dennis Leahy]

hahahahah thanks for the laugh, Doug! Its only believable because we know there really are people out there like this, and there really are gullible fools that fall for this kind of crap as well.

I'm guessing that this means you will not be doing a portrait of Tito! :bigsmile:

[Matthew]

Not to be the party pooper but ...
https://web.archive.org/web/20160726064327/http://jacksonville.suntimes.com/jax-news/7/115/146332/couple-arrested-selling-golden-tickets-heaven/

UPDATE: This story turned out to be an April Fool’s joke...

:clapping: Well found!

But not everyone fell for it. I might have fallen for other things but this one had dubious aspects imho. Although I could believe the drug paraphernalia, a baby alligator, and the $10,000 in cash, ...easily as third party's cash for a transaction, if they were a drug bitch?

But I couldn't bring myself to believe they were remotely successful. I was speaking to a friend, trying to work backwards from drugs that make people act that crazy. The trouble is, while we couldn't directly relate, we could easily believe these effects from trips outside our puny range of personal experience. Since this is a fake story let me share a real one:

I hope it makes you laugh. This is a true story:

It's about a friend of a friend's friend, in the 1990's. Ok so, in the 1990's there was a brief LSD revival, before people re-rejected it because it's a nightmare. Besides, in the 1990's our cup brimeth over with such things... the period reminded me of William Gibson's sprawl series concept of designer drugs, so the uncontrollable effect and long timespan of LSD made it ugly from a hedonistic perspective.

However, before this, the said friend of a friend's friend was a fan of it. I don't know what his name was, so I'll call him Frank, the same name as the acronym for drugs help and advice. Well, it was in the 1990's.

So Frank took LSD. Look... we don't live too far from Royal Ascot, Windsor Castle, and a whole bunch of other toffed up places. My town is surrounded by the well-to-do typical around the Thames Valley.

After the LSD started to take its effects Frank, for some reason, started to assume he was a Royal Prince. I imagine it was a great trip, and he must have enjoyed Windsor where he lived. But then when he had enough of walking round he went home but had a bit of trouble getting in. Apprehended by Windsor Castle security, but absolutely certain he lived there. He was locked up in the manor of a Friday night drunkard in some cell in Windsor Castle, and then let go the next morning after he 'sobered up'. I don't believe it made the papers, it was just another weekend in Windsor, business as usual. He felt awful the next day though when he realised.

[thepainterdoug]

so we now all know this is fake, but we all keep posting about it?

Imagine we created a story that just wouldn't go away? lol