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thepainterdoug
26th June 2024, 21:10
 
Something has changed in me.  It's hard for me to put this into words but I hope the message resonates, and 1000 things could be added here.
 
Can you keep piling up lies upon lies and remain sane ??  

I have been an active member at PA for about 10 years and I do not post anything much anymore.   There was a time not too long ago when I had a thirst for knowledge, a continual searching for truth.  

The truth I believed was needed and was necessary . And getting consensus with other awake and open minded truth seeking people was crucial . It was a way to check if you were over the  target or completely delusional.  
Somehow now this has changed. 

I remember seeing Lee Harvey Oswald shot live on tv in 1963 and all the history to follow. As I grew older, I realized I was very gullible, believing what my eyes and ears perceived as reality. I believe I am still gullible, mainly because I tell the truth, and just think everyone else does as well.  
 
Today I find myself living in a new tower of Babel. Nothing makes sense, all talking past each other, all scurrying around with our point of view, learning very little from others for we are simply no longer trusting of each other or believing in anything.  
Reminds me of lifting a rock in the woods and seeing hundreds of insects now exposed, scurrying for cover and survival.  

As it stands right now, I have lost faith in ALL governments and institutions.  This includes NASA, all the Intel abc agencies,all  Politics, the CDC, the WHO, so called climate science, medical doctors and Hospitals  the UN, all social services, all financial institutions and certainly front and center, all MSMedia.  
They were supposed to be the watchdogs and deliver the true story for us. 

If an actual alt media org tells the truth, then they are marginalized and slandered. It seems to be an air tight system.  
Things come and go and we just can't retain or remember.  I must receive 200 "Breaking"  news messages a day on my iPhone, quickly to be forgotten

I studied so many things from mechanics, piano tuning and rebuilding , learned to paint, compose music, play ice hockey etc. I now feel I'm shutting down. All today seems to be a played out over exposed formula and Im tired.  

A.I.  is figuring it out and offering people a quick answer.  Even in music, a strong bass drum beat and thumping  bass can be programmed by a non musician. Just add a commercially edgy foul mouthed singer and degrading lyrics and finis.  
It's the Ikea of creativity, and good enough for most.

 Who needs more of this ?Who needs more noise ? There is a shortage of silence. I dont want to see art everywhere, on every building at every moment  including tattoos on every inch of flesh.Yet this is what I do. I make things, both art and music and i make it for sharing with others and not for existing in a vacuum .

For me, the world needs to re-calibrate.   

We were always able to count on a few things.  Numbers added up and were constant and infallible.  There were two sexes , a man and a woman with some aberrations such as nature does with the brown polar bear . Nature always throws out a variation on a main theme for survival insurance. But these are exceptions.

In mechanics, a nut works with a bolt as a pair.  Two bolts are pretty much worthless . Two nut fasteners as well. But you can build a world with nuts and bolts.  You can construct a world around you ,yet we are being made to feel that two bolts, two nuts are where it's at and the new truth.  What will happen to our children?

As corruption spreads exponentially and the crazed need for money that follows rules us all, we are sure to destroy ourselves. Maybe not in an immediate dying, but in an internal soulless vacancy bereft of any moral or loving value.   
Add to this the obsession of fame and the body and we are backed into a corner. And it's happening. We are in it. 
Money makes the mare go. Funding for honest climate science and medicine is cut if you dont march in step with the one world agenda. And the advertising sells the masses, and that is what they care about, not us marginal few. 

And what can be said about all the recent unanswered questions.  The children of the Hawaii FIRES. Nord Stream 2 destruction.All things Hunter Biden, All things Epstein, his suicide, client list, flight logs, Durham? Pedo gate?  All things Hillary, bleached hard drives, smashed cell phone, yellowcake to russia, steele dossier,  and 1000 other things swept under the corrupt carpet. 
We're  supposed to forget all this right?

In wrapping this up, I have been studying NDE,s for about 3-4 years now.  They have replaced my need, my hunger and interest for learning anything new.
What should I care if a new more powerful telescope goes up seeing more deeply into the same stuff the other one did.  If more has been discovered in quantum physics, so what ?  We are no closer to finding anything any more than the TV repairman is to finding the little people inside it . This is all inside the box.
The good news about this is I have rediscovered god and it is what keeps me sane.

I live in the east near NYC.  I'm sure this has contributed to my feelings here.  But this is where I belong.  I dont want advice.  I dont want someone to tell me to go outside. See nature, meditate , breathe and raise my vibration. I get it.

When I was a kid my grandparents would babysit us ,putting on pro wrestling on Saturday night. My grandfather told us it was fake. I couldn't believe it!
But I saw it grandpa! I saw it! Its real!

Reflecting on this today, not much has changed.

Faylin
26th June 2024, 21:45
to reignite your interest... qunatum entanglement suggest that a mans seed can quantum entangle with a womans womb and cause the birth of a child light years away.... this is possible.

reignite the flame by educating younger generations cause you may never know the quantum connection you might have. good luck bro. light and darkness be with you.

Casey Claar
26th June 2024, 21:49
Doug, it feels good just to say it, doesn't it? It sounds to me like you trading the drama in for the real world. So many are lost in confusing the two.

thepainterdoug
26th June 2024, 22:00
Many use this platform for varied reasons. I do to communicate my emotions to friends and others possibly receptive and feeling the same. I am an artist i live alone and for the most part do very well with it. Finding a mate is not my interest .

I trust the collective NDE recounts over most garbage I hear today including science On the other side, free of body, Ill find out about all entanglements and so on.
Im fine as I am, just need to call out to remember I exist.

Faylin. Im planning an online painting demo course. Ill announce to the group when ready

RunningDeer
27th June 2024, 00:20
https://i.imgur.com/fBP8QPu.jpg



Some of my on-going dos & reminders:

direct connection with Source
patience
stay grounded and the work gets done
be flexible
synchronicities and creative solution continue to flower
life is experience and experimentation


*********************

Below are helpful one liners I’ve picked up along the way:

"Do I want to live the comfortable lie or live the uncomfortable truth?"

"Is this good for me?" "Yes, until it’s not."

Things that worked yesterday may not work today. Recalibrate daily.

thepainterdoug
27th June 2024, 01:15
Running Deer You are truly a Dear! Everyone of those markers resonates with me.

mainly no 2

SilentFeathers
27th June 2024, 01:53
The split in reality and all the uncertainty in an upside down highjacked world has taken its toll on many of us. It's the curse of being curious, paying attention, and caring what tomorrow may bring.
The spirit, soul, and total self must always be protected and kept in balance......very challenging with so many distractions for sure.

The human family has entered a time of great change, sometimes nothing more needs to be known.....

Delight
27th June 2024, 01:57
A few years ago I started thinking about how well I had learned to "be quiet" and I have been. Becoming an introvert I then loved absorbing information and tried to synthesize what I learned. However, I come now to see that every thing we "learn" is in a context of underlying structure that I call the SYSTEM. It is overweening and underpinning all that one can think.

I see something else that I call Qualities. These are felt and also have mental components. They IMO exist in OUR imaginative capacity that I see as real such that music of certain tones and frequencies FEELS like qualities like love, honor, grief, exulting joy ETC> I feel them as Universal and what art can evoke, why we are HUMAN creatives who manifest qualities into form.

One of the primary things I see about the SYSTEM is the way it uses USES our qualities and binds then into ROLES which are controlled. So for instance, as a feeling human I feel the qualities and the SYSTEM presents definitions as "what you do"... so being a qualitative being is identified with ROLES. We learn the ROLES (what some call the Game?)

I will share what I wish everyone could feel. Right NOW all around us is the essential FORCE which COULD feed us fully if we let it in. There is nothing wrong with us. We don't need to keep mulling over what we learned. We REALLY DO NOT NEED anything. NDEs and miracles show that this world is not what we think. Joe Dispenza's students show our body is malleable in an extreme way with appropriate attention, intent and ALLOWING the flow of energy.

I just want everyone to be happy and free. I imagine we each have a very particular stream of energy available (the Spirit Rope) which is where we can relax and allow the charge of energy to penetrate our whole being. It will be a relationship and it is natural. IMO the SYSTEM is throughout the material realm and one should NEVER believe the contents of the mind, what we have learned. IMO this is our adversary and our champion is all around us and our imagination can be freed.

s7e6e
27th June 2024, 02:18
Doug, just remember what you have seen in this story of yours and learn what it can be learned from it. This insanity is not my reality either, I'm just watching madness unfolding before my eyes and realizing my "home world" is eons more serene and emphatic than this predatory and opportunistic cesspool.

Let's not make the same mistakes next time around, shell we?

ulli
27th June 2024, 02:22
Early boomers are staring to turn eighty, and after seventy different interests appear on the screen of our lives.

NDEs can provide an answer to the question what comes next, after the “ashes to ashes, dust to dust” reality strikes.

The quest for God and eternity is by far the greatest quest of them all. Seek and you will find.

thepainterdoug
27th June 2024, 02:30
s7e6e

yes perhaps we shall. I think I have been angry that I agreed to coming to this place. yet I have a strange "love of the game" and I can fix it complex.

Delight, I need time think over things you have said. regarding NDE,s I have always heard and learned that we choose our parent and our life paths. And yet while here and forgetting that , we feel we are supposed to fix these choices.
We chose our sex, our race, and all. then we fight to change the injustices we perceive in these very situations. Seems almost like an odd experiment we are put thru. But then again, we chose it. Sort of like going to the amusement park and be willing to get on the rollercoaster, then throwing up on the ride.

mojo
27th June 2024, 02:35
The good news about this is I have rediscovered god and it is what keeps me sane.
What a great response to all the other issues you wrote about. I hope more people can make that connection in a World that has gone upside down. So many of us have grown older on the forum and what a ride it has been. Sometimes we have questions & other times answers. We have helped each other through issues and concerns and also voiced some opposing views. Thanks to everyone that has made this happen. It's easy to get bogged down with everything out there but at the same time I know we are heading to something amazing. It was predicted long ago and we are living in this time that will bring a convergence of events. And also remember life is not a dress rehearsal.

Heart to heart
27th June 2024, 15:30
Doug, how your words resonate with me!

Once, many years ago, when I was out in the woods here on the island, and assisting Margo Williams in rescuing an earthbound spirit who needed to confess to some small or large misdemeanour during their lifetime, I caught sight of a large stone beneath a nearby tree. I was impressed to pick up this stone, expecting to find a host of insects sheltering beneath it. To my amazement there was not one! Nothing! So unusual! I remarked on this to Margo and knew I had to take it home with me. The stone spoke to something deep within me. It was no light weight and I was at least a mile from my car. Nevertheless carry it home I did.
I placed it beneath a tall copper beech tree in the garden of The Grove where I lived at the time, and there it lay for a long time. The house was eventually sold in 1998 and I forgot about the stone. Sometime around 2016 something jogged my memory of a stone laying beside a tree in a garden that no longer belonged to me. The house was now a holiday home and the wealthy family were rarely there. So I rang my neighbour, Mollie, whose home had been built in the paddock of The Grove and had a gate that still connected with the garden of my previous home. I told her there was a stone that was calling me and I needed to retrieve it from below the Beech tree where it had lain against the trunk for all those years. I had never returned before but she told me the family were not in residence and I was welcome.
With some trepidation I opened the old iron gate and made my way to the tree. There lay my stone just as I had placed it all those years before! Picking it up I hugged it to my heart and retraced my steps, thanked Mollie and drove home to put the stone beside the trunk of an old flowering cherry tree in the large garden where I lived with my daughter.
Once more I moved. This time to a tiny cottage with a very small garden, and again I forgot my stone in the hassle of moving from my daughter’s large house and garden. Once more I was reminded of the stone that lay abandoned there. Once more I returned to bring it home and here it has its final resting place with me, for I shall not be moving again.
Now to the point of my telling you this story.
There’s was NOTHING beneath that stone when I found it! And I loved it!
Thinking about that now, after all my years of accumulating knowledge from the amazing sources I have been privileged to work with, and sharing my stories on this forum, I am now slowly letting go until there is NO THING between me and my Source!
THIS WAS THE LESSON OF MY STONE.

Doug, there is a time for accumulating knowledge and there is a time for wisdom. The wisdom lies in becoming the knowledge you have acquired and shining it out to the world that appears so dark and forsaken, that is the reason we are here. And to remember that LOVE IS THE CONCEPT OF ETERNAL ACCEPTANCE!

We become the witness without judgement.

I suppose I will tell my stories when it is appropriate to do so, that is my gift.
And you will continue to paint the world you wish for. That is your gift for you have the eye of the artist.
Meantime we will both become LOVE ❤️

Lunesoleil
27th June 2024, 16:16
that if a lot of things have changed, since then we have also changed a lot 👽

arwen
27th June 2024, 17:25
Doug, you really hit the spot for a LOT of people. The artists ALWAYS articulate the soul, the Zeitgeist, of the people, express what others cannot even conceptualize. (That is also why artists are so heavily targeted by our Evil Overlords who want to do away with the soul altogether). Thank you for this post, and I feel with you every part of it - many of us do. I have nothing to add but I really wanted to acknowledge and thank you for your heartfelt post - there is great power and healing in articulating the Unnamed, and bringing it to the Surface.

My personal lifetime reference for this planet as it is right now:

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
― J. Krishnamurti

Mike
27th June 2024, 17:32
Hey Doug, our trajectory is sort of the same.

I've left many of my previous interests behind, for the most part anyway. Not out of spite or anything, but simply because I've exhausted it all. Occasionally I'll try to revisit them, hoping it might spark something in me. But it just bores me mostly.

And like you, I've arrived at this curiosity about NDE's, and what comes next. But to be perfectly honest, I've exhausted all that too!:) I don't know if I could sit thru another NDE testimonial. I've seen a million now.

I described my mentality towards life to a friend recently as being like a student in high school, last period of the day, just staring at the clock and waiting for it all to end. I'm not suicidal in the least, I'm just tired. This heart ailment I've been dealing with has beaten me down finally. My light is dwindling.

What you described in your post sounds like a combination of demoralization (from the endless lies etc) and basic world weariness. I can appreciate that.

A longtime reader of mine on Medium left a comment on my last piece, saying "You're not funny anymore. What happened?" It annoyed me at first, but then I had to concede she had a point. Thing is, I'm not that interested in being funny anymore in my writing. I'm not that interested in the writing anymore either. I'm not that interested in anything really. Just kinda going thru the motions, staring at that clock..

I get little bits of inspiration here n there, but it comes far less frequently. Maybe it'll all change in some way, maybe I'll find another wind. I always try to remain hopeful! But I just don't see it happening.

Speaking of writing, you should post what you wrote here on Substack, if you haven't already. It's good stuff, and people will resonate with it, just like they are here.

Jaak
27th June 2024, 19:11
¨He who increases wisdom, increases sorrow¨ .
Sad truth about learning and understanding things .
After years and years of learning all kinds of things it didnt bring me much happines.Quite the opposite.
But all this knowledge and experience will mature your soul. And as M.P Hall sayd ¨"We grow from within. And as we grow stronger from within, the adversities from outside become less."¨
¨No matter how bad things around you get , you can get better ! ¨

Something that helps me to keep sanity and not dropping into negativity - gratitude.
We can cry endlessly about what we dont have but we forget about being grateful about what we do have.
Are you blind,deaf,disabled,chromosomicly challenged,freezing,starving,homeless or in horrible pain ? Hopefully not and be grateful that you aint . I have experienced several of those things and for me lack of serious discomfort is already comfortable...

2SH1jNAV-pI

ExomatrixTV
27th June 2024, 21:41
I wonder when someone dies, can die again in the "other realm" (in between worlds) because of having a certain level of eternal "fed up" vibrations.


Or we all need a break (time out) once a while ... just to be away from it all.

How many Avalonians (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/memberlist.php?order=desc&sort=posts&pp=999) are put on "sabbatical (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabbatical)" for that reason alone?


Time Out
Vacation
Sabbatical
Deep Needed Rest
Having a Daily Healthy Good Night Sleep (Free from any Disturbances!).
Real Meditation
Free Your Mind from Being Overly Active
Stop being on "High Alert Mode 24/7" (precursor to having Anxiety Attacks?)

etc. etc.

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

Blacklight43
28th June 2024, 00:01
I'm with you Doug. I've been around the sun many times and yesterday was no exception. I'm getting tired (of all the crap I see on the internet) I spend a good deal of time praying these days. I long for this upside down world to make a u-turn and see good in all I observe. I love life, I love my life and the people in it.

I quit watching TV going on 5 years ago and found some peace in that but it has now taken over much of what I see on the internet. I depend on my gut instinct to tell me what is true or not.

I was once a working artist but gave that up when vision got blurry. Now I spend lots of time playing piano and listening to music. Now I find less interest in worldly happenings. I feel my caring about what happens doesn't make a difference in the outcome....maybe I'm just showing my age.

What I just realized is maybe we are all connected...maybe we are all ONE!

Carry on my friends.

Namaste. Darlene

rgray222
28th June 2024, 01:17
Hi Doug
Like you, I have lost interest in things that I once found tremendously stimulating and provocative. Little by little each one of the topics became less interesting and nonessential. The reason is that each subject has run its course and there is nothing more to process. For instance, this basket of topics (and more) consumed much of my time and many hours of thinking.

I don't believe in UFOs/UAPs anyone - I no longer have to believe because I now know the truth. (knowing vs believing are entirely different)
I don't believe in reincarnation anymore - I no longer have to believe because I now know the truth.
I don't believe in God anymore - I no longer have to believe because I now know the truth.
I don't believe in OBEs or NDEs anymore - I no longer have to believe because I now know the truth.
I don't believe in Wars because they are contrived and meant to divide people.
I don't believe in racial issues, politics, climate change, the pyramids, and much of human history because all of these topics are intentionally presented to our reality for growth through emotion and sometimes anger.
This list could go on and on but I think you get my point.


Do I still have an interest in these things? Yes, because I am still living this human life. For instance, I want Trump to win tonight's debate by trouncing Biden. In the past, I would want Trump to win because I truly believed he would put humanity back on the right path but I will watch the debate for entertainment purposes only.

My point is that there is no longer a reason (for me) to search out answers on many topics, I now realize that all the lies and manipulation we are exposed to are necessary for our human experience. Just think about it, if everyone on the planet were thoughtful and considerate of others life would be rather boring. Imagine a world with no storms, no disasters, no sickness, no corruption, no wars, no racial division and all the media are honest journalists. At first, this may seem utopian and a romantic way to live but in very short order it would be the most boring world one could imagine. There would be little to learn by being human and virtually no growth opportunities.

I have been thinking and saying this for several years and I now believe it more than ever, all the answers that we are looking for lie within. Once you start looking within you can become more self-dependent, you can rely on yourself for happiness and purpose and you no longer need the approval of others. Outside validation is necessary until you finally reach a saturation point or a point of total frustration. Once you turn your focus inward and away from the outside world the answers start to make a lot more sense. Nothing is complex or difficult and the answers are so simple you often wonder why you did not see things right from the start.

Mike Gorman
28th June 2024, 09:11
I know this is probably of no value -but I hear you Doug, I have always sensed that we are of a similar type, regardless of individual uniqueness which I am sure prevails here also, but this feeling of having reached the conclusion that all is vanity, all is futile and lost, like Hamlet concluding he no longer feels an affinity with humanity, the black sun maliciously shines its anti-light! I too have been a continual seeker and learner, I am a musician and philosopher, Epistemology has been my own tendency, tapping on the idols and statues of our civilization, checking for that hollow echo! Contrary to all expectations I became a technologist and ICT Engineer, that is how I have made my living since 1995, yes I hear you mate, I wish Nihilism was not the outcome, but look at what they are doing, deliberate destruction: surely it won't come to this, but seeing is believing eh?
t come to this?

grapevine
28th June 2024, 11:25
I hear you too, Doug; I see the plaintive, battle-weary notes between your words, which could be likened to the thoughts and feelings of the Vietnam vets returning from years of conflict. You wrote that you don't want advice or to be told, and I respect that. HOWEVER, it would be a real shame if you shut down now because we're nearly there at the good part.

My take is that that all this chaos and upheaval is caused by us: you, me, them (humanity), who are waking up now really quickly, to the extent that it's causing this tsunami which has now gathered a force of its own as it gathers pace. To survive you'll need to create distance - which is what you're doing now by turning away, but slowly, and thus allowing the negatives to curl their tendrils around you.

As has been suggested, your wonderful creativity is causing this vulnerability, so why not use it as a defence - and paint it out! Paint what you're feeling and let it all out. You don't have to show it to anyone, you can turn it to the wall or cover it with a sheet. Whatever it takes. But please don't give in, not now, not ever, because trite though it sounds, we are many and they are few.
:muscle:

Harmony
28th June 2024, 12:16
I enjoy reading everyone take on the world situation and how wise and wonderful all who have shared their feelings and wisdom they have gained. The willingness to try and bring relief to us all in this sharing is overwheming sometimes. We should never give up those human traits which are what matters.

I would like to say that if you are a member and may feel disagreement about issues, just take a little time out, don't worry if your opinion differs, you know in your heart where you are on your journey, please don't leave and stop sharing the wisdom you can share here. :heart::grouphug:

HopSan
28th June 2024, 15:46
I've left many of my previous interests behind, for the most part anyway. Not out of spite or anything, but simply because I've exhausted it all. Occasionally I'll try to revisit them, hoping it might spark something in me. But it just bores me mostly.



I had a teacher of visual arts, a local well-known prodigy, who thought I had what it takes to be like her, and even better. I easily did what she expected, but it all was to me as if I'd already done all that (in a previous life?). It was almost boring. As a mathematician doing adding.

Instead, a large part of my interest turned slowly to music, and singing. In my forties I began to sing in choir with happy fanaticism, as if that were something that was not yet done. I am still not fulfilled, and feel like much of unbelievable happiness (of finding beauty) is still ahead.

We have purposes, and perhaps sometimes what was planned, is done!

[ I was born not a beginner singer: I am told that as two-year old I made adults laugh in shops by talking with bass voice. 40++ years later I am again a bass. And: I have sang Mozart's Requiem and C-minor mass (choir parts, difficult and fast), etc., with minimal training, and without any understanding of theory. ]

Frankie Pancakes
28th June 2024, 16:10
“So it seems as though this part of us that is living a life on Earth is only a small piece or splinter of a much larger us. That we are many rather than one, or rather pieces of a more complex whole. We are only able to focus on the splinter we perceive as our totality. That is a good thing, because if we were aware of the complexity of it we would not be able to function in this world or reality. We are only able to see the facade that masks a much larger picture. Only now are we being allowed to peek behind the veil.”
― Dolores Cannon, The Convoluted Universe, Book 1

“Yes, but negative is an illusion. Negative and positive are both construction material. Negative is evolutionary catalyst. D: But you know humans consider something negative as being bad. C: They should reword it to evolutionary catalyst. We have been given on purpose these catalysts for evolution. These things that appear negative... these things are on purpose.”
― Dolores Cannon, The Three Waves of Volunteers and the New Earth

thepainterdoug
29th June 2024, 02:45
Thanks you everyone in the P Avalon family who contributed to my post, verging on rant. I read all , every comment and feel everyone added something of value for me. this is more informing and substantive than any family or real life friend will do and it is one of the main reasons i so value this forum.
many many thanks to you all.
pd

Delight
29th June 2024, 05:15
I don't want to learn anything anymore because there is a never ending draw to learn more and it is all mental and never FULL filling.

Actually what I want IS, to be FULL of my authentic self. This intention is yielding fruit. Life is its own reward.

However, one does have a mind and since it tells a story anyway, I want to tell a story that is MYTHIC for my self.

I love chickens. They are so vulnerable in this world. Everything seeks to eat them...hawks, fox, raccoons, possums and some dogs. This year I have lost many. Then I did buy some pullets who are about 3-4 months old. I know on rainy days, the fox comes out so yesterday in the morning before work I decided to let the babies out with the others so they could be getting flockish. There is a fence around the old barn yard.

Yesterday just as I was about to leave to see a client at the spa, the chickens were going CRAZY. A raccoon was in with them. I started crying when I could not grab the babies to put them safely in cages. Then I called work sobbing to say I'd miss my first appointment.

I was so upset because I live alone, have no partner, can't keep the chickens safe all by myself and balance living with all these creatures. I felt helpless.

I managed to corrall the young ones and open the gate to everyone else. After work I bought a Have-a-heart trap. My plan was to keep all the babies in their cages till the raccoon was captured and just let them out a couple of hours before dark.

I realized The thing is, through yesterday I was not energetically connecting to Source, turning all this over. I KNOW when we do just connect and INCLUDE Source in what is happening, we GET HELP.

This morning, I went to the barn and one chicken baby escaped when I was changing their water. It is the leader, the most assertive and she PUSHED her way out and would not be caught. OK, I said...I'll go and get some more water and by then she will be ready.

ALMOST as soon as I had walked away, I heard a horrendous squealing and looked and saw a HUGE dog, brown, a kind of hound eating the baby chick. I was FLUMMOXED. I NEVER have seen this dog, hardly seen any dogs in my yard.

What did this mean? I did not cry. I was shocked and turned it over to God. Later today while giving a massage, I had an insight that this issue is one for me about
death
about being angry about death
being angry that everything eats everything.

The question was: could I begin to accept what I am experiencing as being of NO IMPORTANCE. Could I be nonchalant about this realm having bodies die?

Then, am I taking on some kind of burden about the way things are...meaning death and predator/prey, making them important to solve as IF I could solve this dilemma.
Can one be true to the immortal LIFE and mourn every body passing. I do not know that makes sense. I actually laughed inside when I had the insight that MAYBE it be ok to just accept death being in my reality. Now, this whole question was for ME and that is the point.

We are each dealing with ourselves. IMO we can realize that we don't need to learn anything MORE to deal with our lives. We only feel we must IF IMO we are not viscerally connected to Source. Source has been all around me when I have dealt with my life. Death issues like putting my dog to sleep and losing loved ones. I have been so angry all along about this issue and IMO SOURCE was there to support me always AND I did not access the help and chose to suck it up...whatver on my own.

I heard a commotion tonight and went and found a raccoon in the trap. I took the trap to the river and relleased the raccoon. I consider this as evidence that I am fully able to implemment any action which arises when needed and that SOURCE actually empowers me to have insight and GAIN GREATER ENERGY rather than leak it out. I feel very FULL at the moment of experiencing a real life, a true life and FULL life, not learned, just done.

Agape
29th June 2024, 09:15
Terrible ::: I think we all hear each other on the "bottomline" or nearly before the limit closes to zero ( but in reality it never does ).

Universe that has exhausted its possibilities and options ? Starts crashing rapidly to itself , in infinite velocity then passing through itself , then no one knows what happens ? :)

Heard that one Dough but it's unlikely to happen to you any soon.

You are still young and the Way is long...



🪷

thepainterdoug
29th June 2024, 11:56
Delight/ thanks for sharing your difficult and solitary experience. I can understand the turmoil and upset in this impossible to accept scenario. I have a friend who has chickens as well, and struggles with this continual life and death dance everyday. But I never thought about it as I have, now that I read your post. This giving up to god, the universe and what is ,seems so counter intuitive to our clinging and clutching to our preservation of our own lives we are so designed to protect.
It's exhausting, and it just seems that getting out of this physical life will be so rewarding.


Agape. thanks, its all in play I guess and I will continue to shed another skin each day

tessie999
29th June 2024, 12:37
Big Hugs to All !

RunningDeer
30th June 2024, 20:31
Speaking of writing, you should post what you wrote here on Substack, if you haven't already. It's good stuff, and people will resonate with it, just like they are here.




https://i.imgur.com/eHyBBrH.gif
FYI: Doug's Substack (https://doug422.substack.com/)

Mike, do you mind sharing your substack address?

~ Doug or Mike, let me know if you prefer I alter this post

thepainterdoug
30th June 2024, 21:30
Im fine with it. Read my mending fences rant, "A want to come together"

Satori
30th June 2024, 21:41
Im fine with it. Read my mending fences rant, "A want to come together"

Doug, i just saw your OP. Wow! Outstanding. I tip my hat to you, sir.

DNA
1st July 2024, 09:04
38FMDG7tiA4

Sometimes you gotta let go.
Society is a effing train wreck.
It's going to happen.
It was foretold and nothing can stop it now.


Just try and be at the right place at the right time when it does.

I don't worry about learning for fixing but rather I learn for prognostication.

To Nostradamous this sh1t before it happens. Forewarned is forearmed..

thepainterdoug
1st July 2024, 13:48
Dna/ thanks that scene is insane! for me, the answer is somewhere in the middle but the point well taken.

Vicus
1st July 2024, 20:39
For The _ pain _doug

https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?8309-The-Great-Quotes-thread&p=1619796&viewfull=1#post1619796 :flower:

Michel Leclerc
1st July 2024, 21:19
I've left many of my previous interests behind, for the most part anyway. Not out of spite or anything, but simply because I've exhausted it all. Occasionally I'll try to revisit them, hoping it might spark something in me. But it just bores me mostly.



I had a teacher of visual arts, a local well-known prodigy, who thought I had what it takes to be like her, and even better. I easily did what she expected, but it all was to me as if I'd already done all that (in a previous life?). It was almost boring. As a mathematician doing adding.

Instead, a large part of my interest turned slowly to music, and singing. In my forties I began to sing in choir with happy fanaticism, as if that were something that was not yet done. I am still not fulfilled, and feel like much of unbelievable happiness (of finding beauty) is still ahead.

We have purposes, and perhaps sometimes what was planned, is done!

[ I was born not a beginner singer: I am told that as two-year old I made adults laugh in shops by talking with bass voice. 40++ years later I am again a bass. And: I have sang Mozart's Requiem and C-minor mass (choir parts, difficult and fast), etc., with minimal training, and without any understanding of theory. ]

I have sang Mozart's Requiem and C-minor mass


ah.. the best, the very best.. may you soon sing Ein Deutsches Requiem...

singing well opens and balances all the chakras
balancing all the chakras enables us to sing well

singing well blesses with the gift of tongues
the gift of tongues enables us to sing well

I could not resist adding this – may you enjoy it all: the Bach Collegium of Stuttgart led by Helmuth Rilling, with great soloists, in 1988, in Mozart’s “Mass in C minor” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Mass_in_C_minor,_K._427), which Mozart actually did not complete – he finished only the Kyrie/Christe and the Gloria... but... (hear for yourselves):

the Sublime (a philosophical category!) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlLVAZYId3c)

Matthew
1st July 2024, 21:22
Yeah that's what I wanted to say but DNA said it better. The world isn't getting better it's getting worser and worser. I'm a fully activated Christian now, just biding my time, prospering if anything. We might get some wins yet but I'm not optimistic for the medium/long term. Because I feel that way I don't want to watch every detail of a car-crash in slow motion. I've accepted the noble truth of the horrors and lies we live in, I don't need to accept any more. If novel horrors come along I'll accept them with the best grace I can, but I think I've become aware of a fair (or unfair) range of lies and horrors to accept the ****ty truth. It plays a part in spiritual growth but it's not all of it. As wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. I am neither. Exchange serpent for Labrador, and dove for wild racoon, then you come close. So many deaths, maimings, torcher, wars, state fraud, lies, abuse. Nothing's feeling new.

fkXg-EQt5VE

thepainterdoug
2nd July 2024, 00:34
Michel/ I cannot sing! :highfive: but I wrote a new uplifting song. will share soon

Vicus perfect! thank you!! :shooting star:

Matthew, you said it well :clapping:

HopSan
2nd July 2024, 19:17
I have sang Mozart's Requiem and C-minor mass

ah.. the best, the very best.. may you soon sing Ein Deutsches Requiem...

singing well opens and balances all the chakras
balancing all the chakras enables us to sing well

singing well blesses with the gift of tongues
the gift of tongues enables us to sing well


Wow, you obviously know the delirium of greatest music... I'll add some points:

1) In choir practice (here 3 hours, 18-21) time disappears. Every worry in the world is not there. Often it is difficult to get sleep after that. Like a manic boost. Others in my choirs tell about the same.

2) The greatest music brings the greatest joy. At best, a concert is a combination of terrible scare of making a mistake, finding crazy madness of not caring at all, and the maximal joy of seeing the audience in happy tears.

3) Music is something almost 'paranormal', perhaps the highest of art forms. But my opinion is of course coloured.

"Ein Deutsches Requiem" is unknown to me and rarely sang here. Thanks for the hint!

Bruce G Charlton
3rd July 2024, 14:31
I try to remind myself of the difference between optimism and hope, between pessimism and despair.

Optimism or pessimism about our prospects or the quality of this world is just an estimate of probability, based on incomplete knowledge.

But as a Christian, my hope for salvation beyond death should always be certain, so long as I have faith in the love and goodness of God the creator.

And therefore despair is always wrong.

So no matter how realistically pessimistic I may be about the future, I should never despair (and should repent if I do despair); because my hope does not depend on anything that can be kept from me without my consent.

thepainterdoug
3rd July 2024, 15:05
HopSan I agree totally As an artist and musician I think music, vibrations and frequency is the highest form of the arts.

palehorse
3rd July 2024, 15:09
I can't think of anything else but this


“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

― Bruce Lee


cJMwBwFj5nQ

Sue (Ayt)
3rd July 2024, 16:36
I can't think of anything else but this


“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

― Bruce Lee


cJMwBwFj5nQ

I just posted this in another thread, but it coincides so nicely with your post, palehorse, that I thought I'd put it here too.
:rose:

Tao Te Ching - Lao Tzu - chapter 76

A man is born gentle and weak.
At his death he is hard and stiff.
Green plants are tender and filled with sap.
At their death they are withered and dry.

Therefore the stiff and unbending is the disciple of death.
The gentle and yielding is the disciple of life.

Thus an army without flexibility never wins a battle.
A tree that is unbending is easily broken.

The hard and strong will fall.
The soft and weak will overcome.

(translation by Gia-fu Feng and Jane English)

Michel Leclerc
3rd July 2024, 19:02
Hopsan, what a great comment, thank you for that. Yes! The greatest music brings the greatest joy! Famous is the reaction of the Vienna choirboys having participated in the premiere performance of Gustav Mahler’s gigantic 8th Symphony with choirs and soloists – enthusiastically tugging conductor Mahler’s sleeve after the never-ending ovations: “it was a great song, Maestro!”

I’ll PM to you an excellent Youtube version of Brahms' Ein Deutsches Requiem. Basically it was a Requiem “mass” intended for his mother (as was the one Gabriel Fauré wrote in France). But – whereas Fauré’s Requiem uses the Latin Mass text as Mozart does, the Lutheran Brahms chose to write a “German” (“Deutsches”) Requiem on texts from the Bible. So the impressive texts both stern and sweet, are in German (a good opportunity for your German ;-) ) ; the composition is considered one of Brahms’ greatest achievements with magnificent solo parts (as in Mozart) as well as phantastic choral writing, with far echoes from Händel. Of course it calls for a larger, romantic, orchestra, than Mozart’s Mass.

Doug – a composer sings silently, internally, does he not? The “inner voice” is not only the one that repents, but also – and maybe therefore – the one that creates.

Hopsan, “the greatest music”... it is Beauty – of great art – that reconciles us with everything. Consoles us for everything. Beauty in Nature, the beauty of bodies, of all glorious, beaming bodies, both human and animal – and vegetal... – enchant and fulfill us, but then, they wither and grow old, losing their bloom and bliss – or worse: they are slaughtered and eaten, and killed and shredded on battlefields and in human monsters’ rituals.. If that is not what we need consolation for, then what is? Art however can not be killed – although Art’s makers may be persecuted and killed – if it is destroyed it is resuscitated in the work of a worthy heir. I feel that this particular resilience, this immortality Art has finds its very reason, its justification in its role as consolation for all the beautiful dead whom we mourn.

In that sense, every piece of Art is a Requiem.

Sunny-side-up
3rd July 2024, 19:07
Doug :)

You sound like you have descended and reached the depth of free diving, found the ocean floor.
You had a good look around and found it to be so different to the surface.
You ascended, still looking around and have found the surface to have changed, but as you look around you find it is the same if not worse.
You find though it is you who have changed and have a greater reality, well done.

Do what is good for you and stay saine.

Have some :sun:

Agape
4th July 2024, 10:05
I can't think of anything else but this


“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

― Bruce Lee


cJMwBwFj5nQ

It's a good point 🪷

I know plenty of people including disabled people, people after life trauma or currently going through who found their balance again through practice of martial arts.

There's a timeless beauty in being on watch for your shadow

There's equilibrium in between "your light" and "your shadow"

And you are walking on thin invisible line in between.

There's full acceptance and harmony of our "right" and "left",
of our weight and lightness , elements and mind.


In short, when the world gets completely absurd and filled with smoke so dark you can't breathe in living room

and mirrors so crooked they make fun of all we are

Kick your chances for survival

Just B&B without As

It's called practice


🙏

HopSan
4th July 2024, 20:01
:clapping:
“The greatest music”... it is Beauty – of great art – that reconciles us with everything. Consoles us for everything. Beauty in Nature, the beauty of bodies, of all glorious, beaming bodies, both human and animal – and vegetal... – enchant and fulfill us, but then, they wither and grow old, losing their bloom and bliss – or worse: they are slaughtered and eaten, and killed and shredded on battlefields and in human monsters’ rituals.. If that is not what we need consolation for, then what is? Art however can not be killed – although Art’s makers may be persecuted and killed – if it is destroyed it is resuscitated in the work of a worthy heir. I feel that this particular resilience, this immortality Art has finds its very reason, its justification in its role as consolation for all the beautiful dead whom we mourn.

In that sense, every piece of Art is a Requiem.

Thanks Michel,

Good Heavens, this must be one of the great oratory pieces of last years! :clapping:

I have not much to add, but to remind that there are surprising happinesses ahead for everyone,
sooner or later, here or there.

But we must fight for it, whatever the cost.

palehorse
5th July 2024, 04:47
I can't think of anything else but this

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

― Bruce Lee

I just posted this in another thread, but it coincides so nicely with your post, palehorse, that I thought I'd put it here too.
:rose:

Tao Te Ching - Lao Tzu - chapter 76

A man is born gentle and weak.
At his death he is hard and stiff.
Green plants are tender and filled with sap.
At their death they are withered and dry.

Therefore the stiff and unbending is the disciple of death.
The gentle and yielding is the disciple of life.

Thus an army without flexibility never wins a battle.
A tree that is unbending is easily broken.

The hard and strong will fall.
The soft and weak will overcome.

(translation by Gia-fu Feng and Jane English)




It is beautiful Sue, thanks.








I can't think of anything else but this

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

― Bruce Lee



It's a good point 🪷

I know plenty of people including disabled people, people after life trauma or currently going through who found their balance again through practice of martial arts.

There's a timeless beauty in being on watch for your shadow

There's equilibrium in between "your light" and "your shadow"

And you are walking on thin invisible line in between.

There's full acceptance and harmony of our "right" and "left",
of our weight and lightness , elements and mind.


In short, when the world gets completely absurd and filled with smoke so dark you can't breathe in living room

and mirrors so crooked they make fun of all we are

Kick your chances for survival

Just B&B without As

It's called practice


🙏





I think he explains that balance in this video :heart:

nzQWYHHqvIw

Michel Leclerc
5th July 2024, 15:54
:

(...)

I have not much to add, but to remind that there are surprising happinesses ahead for everyone,
sooner or later, here or there.

But we must fight for it, whatever the cost.

Thank you Hopsan. As you can imagine, I believe what you believe.

It is just the “whatever the cost” that you write which I have doubts about.

Literature occasionally tells us the story of artists who went so far as to sacrifice a human life for a work of art.

Or conversely, they tell stories about non-living creations that the artist finally brings to life.

Should one sell one’s soul for one’s artistic calling? Maybe one’s own – when one believes that devotion to the realisation of the calling redeems the fact that one does evil to one’s self / oneself —— but is it so easy without also gravely hurting, damaging other humans’ life? Animal life?

Goethe laboured half of his life to write his second Faust, in which Gretchen’s self-sacrifice is strong enough to redeem even him who deserted her. Mahler put that aspect of Goethe’s masterwork to grandiose music. (Gretchen deserved more tears of sorrow maybe than Alma.)

When the artist deeply understands how his/her work constitutes a requiem for one or many or all victims, does that very realisation not put him/her on the verge of turning one more life (his/her own) into a victim — of the very work of art that was supposed to mourn them?

Note: with “art” is meant every form or discipline of artistic expression.

Ernie Nemeth
6th July 2024, 18:40
Ya, it's all BS.

The thing to learn here is that there is nothing here worth the entrance conditions. Then it can all be let go. Still working on 'family' and 'my one true love'. Most 'friends' are already gone. Nothing else comes even close to being worth it.


As far as learning goes - we can only learn that we can learn nothing because we cannot reduce anything to its absolute condition. Everything is relative to other things, which means nothing means anything in and of itself.

The total is far greater than the parts and we only live in the parts, disconnected from truth, separate from the others, with everything around us unknown and unmastered.

thepainterdoug
6th July 2024, 20:17
Ernie interesting comments to a large degree true. are they sad comments neutral or happy? none and all. they are all relevant and defined by comparison.
imagine there was only one temperature of water? lets say 70 degrees. no hot or cold distinction. only descriptors of wet ,cloudy or clear.

no matter what we do in the amusement park, when they close the gates, we all gotta go home

HopSan
8th July 2024, 19:01
It is just the “whatever the cost” that you write which I have doubts about.
And 'high art', in pure form, is very, very near -- the soul itself.

Literature occasionally tells us the story of artists who went so far as to sacrifice a human life for a work of art.

Or conversely, they tell stories about non-living creations that the artist finally brings to life.

Should one sell one’s soul for one’s artistic calling? Maybe one’s own – when one believes that devotion to the realisation of the calling redeems the fact that one does evil to one’s self / oneself —— but is it so easy without also gravely hurting, damaging other humans’ life? Animal life?

Goethe laboured half of his life to write his second Faust, in which Gretchen’s self-sacrifice is strong enough to redeem even him who deserted her. Mahler put that aspect of Goethe’s masterwork to grandiose music. (Gretchen deserved more tears of sorrow maybe than Alma.)

When the artist deeply understands how his/her work constitutes a requiem for one or many or all victims, does that very realisation not put him/her on the verge of turning one more life (his/her own) into a victim — of the very work of art that was supposed to mourn them?

Note: with “art” is meant every form or discipline of artistic expression.

I agree, strongly!

I did not say 'personal cost', because anything else did not occur to my mind.
Sacrificing someone or something else is nothing, worthless, despicable.
Fame, and success: nil.

I mean the danger and risk and cost of personal sacrifice, for good.
Yes, art, in pure form, is very near the core of 'soul', as its expression.
Hope and happiness realising 'true and right and beautiful' is a good deal.

Andrei Tarkovsky's movie 'Sacrifice' is about exactly this.
Sorry, this link is in Swedish.

ivTODosMeOQ

thepainterdoug
17th August 2025, 01:26
I decided to find this old post. I still feel the same.

question?? what has anyone learned, discovered, found out, of true revelation or importance in a way meaningful for all, within the last couple years?

have you learned anything amazing that is a game changer for you? please share

thanks
pd

norman
17th August 2025, 03:10
I found out what it really means when a rare few people say "this is a spiritual war".

Until quite recently, it was only a theologically academic soundbite being passed around the spiritual industrial complex branch of academia.

Casey Claar
17th August 2025, 03:24
The subject of being, in itself - who and what I am - fascinates me to no end, there is no end to my curiosity at this.

I find it funny when there is something I am not very good at.
The way my appearance changes I find highly amusing. (aging and gaining weight beyond my ability to even see myself anymore. it is so funny.

Aside from self enquiry, I am riveted at all times at the question "what is time?"

I find it funny that I do not seem to know.

How can I not know? It seems an impossibility.
What is in the way?

I just wonder at it. (near endlessly

I enter states that are highly pleasant, experientially informative. I am content so long as I always have my sense of wonder.

Windows are a person's best friend. I could just sit and look out the window forever.

Do you know what just this has the capacity to teach?

Do you ever window gaze, Doug?

thepainterdoug
17th August 2025, 03:41
Norman and Casey thanks for your posts. Norman, I agree and its probably something very evident I didn't yet make note of to myself.

Casey I am always thinking on these things every day. But perhaps a personal musing, more than something we are all being made aware of.

Im amazed how many books are being written everyday, sometimes multiple books by the same author on the same topic, and yet what is being delivered?

Reams and reams of info, and I dont feel any less for not knowing about it. tell me what I am missing? Surely all these words must be communicating something of importance.
The only info that has made a difference for me comes from NDE,s

and let me add, I am very disturbed by the medical industry. i get doctors are very valuable, but they have become a thing to seriously avoid.

I have proof its a racket, a money maker, by passing patients around a corrupt system. From the doctor, to the blood lab, back to the doctor. to the doctors referral, to the pharmacist and so on. I found this out first hand.

this is an awful state as people will die, just to avoid this racket. Im at risk and i refuse to get on that hamster wheel

RunningDeer
17th August 2025, 03:43
I decided to find this old post. I still feel the same.

question?? what has anyone learned, discovered, found out, of true revelation or importance in a way meaningful for all, within the last couple years?

have you learned anything amazing that is a game changer for you? please share

thanks
pd




True revelation? Game changer knowledge that’s meaningful for all?
That’s a tall order, doug. https://i.imgur.com/jVwsfPG.gif

I suspect what feels important to me might not hold the same weight for others. Life is more about the small, everyday things. I don’t need some grand revelation. What I aim for is learning how to quiet my mind and live more from the heart.

Lately, I’ve been discovering new ways to be more efficient. It's exciting because the ideas come out of no where. It’s nothing dramatic. Just little shifts in how I organize my day, approach my workouts, or prepare more nutrient-rich meals.

I’m also learning to be gentler with myself. I’ve realized I didn’t sign up to change the world. I’m here to be in it and to show up as honestly and authentically as I can.

thepainterdoug
17th August 2025, 03:51
Running Deer, a great response and answer. yes, my request a tall order so your very honest answer makes me smile. i agree

Casey Claar
17th August 2025, 04:06
The subject of being, in itself - who and what I am - fascinates me to no end, there is no end to my curiosity at this.

I find it funny when there is something I am not very good at.
The way my appearance changes I find highly amusing. (aging and gaining weight beyond my ability to even see myself anymore. it is so funny.

Aside from self enquiry, I am riveted at all times at the question "what is time?"

I find it funny that I do not seem to know.

How can I not know? It seems an impossibility.
What is in the way?

I just wonder at it. (near endlessly

I enter states that are highly pleasant, experientially informative. I am content so long as I always have my sense of wonder.

Windows are a person's best friend. I could just sit and look out the window forever.

Do you know what just this has the capacity to teach?

Do you ever window gaze, Doug?


Casey I am always thinking on these things every day. But perhaps a personal musing, more than something we are all being made aware of.

Im amazed how many books are being written everyday, sometimes multiple books by the same author on the same topic, and yet what is being delivered?

Reams and reams of info, and I dont feel any less for not knowing about it. tell me what I am missing? Surely all these words must be communicating something of importance.
The only info that has made a difference for me comes from NDE,s

Doug,

There is only self inquiry and self realization. <-- this is what is of central importance.

Everything else is surface data.

I feel you hit the nail square on the head of this when you say the NDE ( which is a variety, or specific form of OBE ) is what still is making a difference to you. This is likely due to what the NDE is ( ie: an expansion, a wider experience space ). The data it contains is only relevant in relation to the space itself -which, to be clear, is consciousness space. This is where I am attempting to direct you. ( via the question about window gazing ). Into consciousness space. It is where we learn all that is of central importance. The window gazing can be very helpful in getting the attention off thinking and into what Houses the thinking. It is here that we all find ourselves again, and with this our zest. Do you have a meditation practice?

Regarding the books and what other people are saying and sharing.

I am interested only in the people themselves.
I may listen, or read, but solely to see where they are in their evolution of experience.

Everything else is just words. Some of which can be interesting, if within them is a scope I've not ventured into in quite the same way. But, for the most, it is the person themselves that interests me. ( this makes some people nervous, lol ).

Casey Claar
17th August 2025, 04:19
and let me add, I am very disturbed by the medical industry. i get doctors are very valuable, but they have become a thing to seriously avoid.

I have proof its a racket, a money maker, by passing patients around a corrupt system. From the doctor, to the blood lab, back to the doctor. to the doctors referral, to the pharmacist and so on. I found this out first hand.

this is an awful state as people will die, just to avoid this racket. Im at risk and i refuse to get on that hamster wheel

Doug,

You made an edit to add the above after I had already begun to reply.

Yes, I've worked in the Care Industry the past 30 years, it not a sustainable system, is collapsing, and will be rebuilt into something I trust will be far more beneficial.

The interim period is never very stable, quite the reverse. It is disquieting, to say the least when a thing is coming down.

I never entered that system so am less effected, but my heart goes out to everyone who is. :heart:

Mari
17th August 2025, 10:16
Norman and Casey thanks for your posts. Norman, I agree and its probably something very evident I didn't yet make note of to myself.

Casey I am always thinking on these things every day. But perhaps a personal musing, more than something we are all being made aware of.

Im amazed how many books are being written everyday, sometimes multiple books by the same author on the same topic, and yet what is being delivered?

Reams and reams of info, and I dont feel any less for not knowing about it. tell me what I am missing? Surely all these words must be communicating something of importance.
The only info that has made a difference for me comes from NDE,s

and let me add, I am very disturbed by the medical industry. i get doctors are very valuable, but they have become a thing to seriously avoid.

I have proof its a racket, a money maker, by passing patients around a corrupt system. From the doctor, to the blood lab, back to the doctor. to the doctors referral, to the pharmacist and so on. I found this out first hand.

this is an awful state as people will die, just to avoid this racket. Im at risk and i refuse to get on that hamster wheel


Doug, I hear very well what you say about the medical 'industry'. Well done for refusing the hamster wheel :bigsmile: Running the gamut of that will sharpen your 'human-ness' and bull**** discernment blade like nothing else! It is an excellent training ground, when the fear and anger have been pushed aside, for discovering the true, spiritual warrior in you. Books and gurus will never do it - they'll whet the appetite, yes, but boots on the ground experience will be the proving point in these situations.
Oh, but I'm sure you know all this ;) Its just that we do need a battleground (but choose your battles yes?) for honing our skills.

I too, am running the gamut with big pharma, being that certain age, but I know I'm right when I refuse the meds given out like sweets...but its a scary place to be when you're up against a cartel that profits out of sickness. It felt like a huge black abyss when I let go of the Teat and start thinking for myself. Ten years on from being nagged by 'them' to take certain meds and refusing...and I'm still here, so I'm doing something right!
When you sharpen that pitchfork you'll find that a freedom kicks in, and a clarity. Other 'stuff' will be let go of, easily once you take that first step.

Running Deer, spot on with your observation about not being here to 'change' the world, just yourself. I've only recently realised just what that means, after castigating myself for not 'doing enough' for aeons. When you work on yourself, live authentically, you automatically change the world...you dont have to 'do' anything (unless there's a strong calling in you) just live the best life for you...and you, Doug.

Casey, I agree that the 'system' is coming down...I just wish it were a quicker process - I've been around for too long and seem too many casualties.

thepainterdoug
17th August 2025, 18:39
Casey and friends. I wrote this original post a ways back after doing a deep dive into the NDES They have changed my entire way of perceiving reality. One after another they have confirmed this to me, that this is the dream, or the stage,or the fake thing ,the board game etc , where we act and play out our parts, after coming here by choice to do so. We chose it!

Sounds crazy hugh? But in deep examination of everything, it is the only thing that makes sense to me.

So thats why I dont care what Jack Sarfatti, Neil De Grass, Michu and all the rest of these brainiacs say, because its all within this stage we are all acting out on . Its not going to matter.

We are here to experience. Experience separation, from murderes to the sweetest of angels. We will all go home and be one again. All the world is TRULY, a stage

norman
17th August 2025, 20:21
Casey and friends. I wrote this original post a ways back after doing a deep dive into the NDES They have changed my entire way of perceiving reality. One after another they have confirmed this to me, that this is the dream, or the stage,or the fake thing ,the board game etc , where we act and play out our parts, after coming here by choice to do so. We chose it!

Sounds crazy hugh? But in deep examination of everything, it is the only thing that makes sense to me.

So thats why I dont care what Jack Sarfatti, Neil De Grass, Michu and all the rest of these brainiacs say, because its all within this stage we are all acting out on . Its not going to matter.

We are here to experience. Experience separation, from murderes to the sweetest of angels. We will all go home and be one again. All the world is TRULY, a stage

Being "smart" in all this fakery is, at it's very best, the deepest clownery, and more generally, the sickest and saddest mockery of the soul (or god, if you want to throw that in 'good measure').

Casey Claar
17th August 2025, 23:14
Casey and friends. I wrote this original post a ways back after doing a deep dive into the NDES They have changed my entire way of perceiving reality. One after another they have confirmed this to me, that this is the dream, or the stage,or the fake thing ,the board game etc , where we act and play out our parts, after coming here by choice to do so. We chose it!

Sounds crazy hugh? But in deep examination of everything, it is the only thing that makes sense to me

It doesn't sound crazy AT ALL, Doug.

Investigating this to the point of fully realizing that what we like to call "reality" is a dream is step 1. - step 2 is the critical bit.

The question rises with immediacy on the heals of all this, doesn't it? Because if all this (including myself) is a dream, who, then, is the dreamer?

***

1zPNdbQjhso

thepainterdoug
18th August 2025, 00:45
Casey i loved your video. Lots to ponder. Recently, and I never used to do this, Im waking, lying in bed for a bit trying to recall where I was, what my dreams were, and then Im sitting on the edge of my bed for a while. I never used to sit on the edge but something is feeling right to just sit there. it sort of a pep talk to myself to , ok get up and get to it.
But im struggling to recall my dreams, and have not had a lucid dream for some time. very disappointed about that.

dreming is a great topic. who is the dreamer?? well perhaps the spirit me on the other side that has always been, similar to the story writer of a movie you are cast in playing the part in the movie you are acting in .

I think the greatest thing we could all get would be a different way to view death. A way of seeing it less tragic, more easy with it, even celebrating it, but our attachments are so very real here. And perhaps the other side, needs it this way
those who have lost children know this all to well

Mari
18th August 2025, 18:36
Doug. Someone passed on to me this channelling today in my inbox. It's from an collective calling itself 'Veronica', as channelled by April Crawford, a deep trance medium. Whether or not you resonate with channelling per se, the message is spot on regarding the whole point of being 'here' - in what she calls the 'causal plane'.

Hopefully, this might clarify things a bit?


The Whole Point

"While participating in the reincarnational cycle a soul can experience many roles and dramatics. Whether one has belief in past lives or not they actually do occur for all.

The whole point is to achieve growth and advancement for the soul. With so many experiences, it's important to remain connected with your authentic frequency in each one.

Your journey includes many dramas. Each one reshaping your energy as you move throughout the process.

Perhaps consider remaining solid in your own space. Decide to remain clear and aware of your journey.

You are a multi-dimensional being. Make the effort to be connected with all your life experiences. Make a practice of sorting through all the dramatics to achieve the desired outcome ..... become your authentic self that has shaped itself throughout all your lives.

Open your heart and use all of your lives too be your true self. Growth is always the destination. Do not become distracted in drama along the way."

thepainterdoug
18th August 2025, 20:02
Hi Mari/ thanks for sending this and for caring to send it . However, and not to be critical but I will be , it's a bit vague .

so what is growth? what is your authentic frequency in each one? I dont really understand. can I put it on a meter? measure it?

my journey has many dramas?. yes, staying solid in my space? does not explain anything to me.

how does one make an effort to be connected to all ones life experiences?

open your heart and use all your lives to be your true self?

for me this is all vague, feel good stuff that actually says alot while saying nothing at all. it answers nothing but can not be argued with

can you or anyone answer these question directly with factual info?

sorry but thats how i feel about this.

Delight
18th August 2025, 23:50
I came to the conclusion that what I choose for my realm is a clean sweep of the astral plane. I define this as a layer in the Matterium where it is "nonphysical" but peopled. I think I am here to build my own mythology. It does involve thinking but is SO MUCH richer than a thinking alone.

I don't know the history of the present state of my myth but here and now, I think that the astral is a projection of human consciousness BUT the seed of what we have projected was a kind of ancient AI which has us always creating an inhuman experience. Reading about the possibility that we are immortals trapped in a simulation is becoming more "common sense" to me. IF present day we have the rudiments of "games" which simulate experience, I am able to accept that long ago, we started the repeating patterns that play today.

It has come to my awareness that I am not my thoughts but that thoughts play on my present moment and imagination. I have the opinion that the very very best outcome for my realm is obiteration of that whole astral band width from LOW to HIGH. I consider the Egregore as a way of seeing the antihuman inversion we play out FOR the astral to continue building its simulated life.

I am not able to know what the ramifications are for the responsibility of cleaning out all astral content... all ideas of all thoughts and all that plays on the mind. However at THIS point, this is the spin I would see play out. I want to know what it will be to be unassailed by ALL THAT ACCUMULATED Thought form while in a body.

This imagination I have of what it will be is like: a never ending moment where I am knowing without thinking and telepathic and using my body fully.

It is one of my opinions that the cause of our limited perception is ASTRAL manipulation. It is the filter we learned so well. In a way, I wonder if all variants of NHI are split off from human minds. Over time the programming of our mind to create an AI realm has rolled on and on. I say NO MORE astral is NO MORE mind parasitism.

I am FEELING connected to God (unknown) and therefore I am not worried about such a drastic move. I really want this experience.

Oh and it is not alzheimers. In fact, I wonder if perhaps those who cannot stay connected to the body are those who seem demented?

thepainterdoug
19th August 2025, 15:43
Delight. I think I understand some of what you wrote above but then again, not at all sure. Would an analogy be something like cleaning out the cache of your computer?

Mari
19th August 2025, 20:05
Hi Mari/ thanks for sending this and for caring to send it . However, and not to be critical but I will be , it's a bit vague .

so what is growth? what is your authentic frequency in each one? I dont really understand. can I put it on a meter? measure it?

my journey has many dramas?. yes, staying solid in my space? does not explain anything to me.

how does one make an effort to be connected to all ones life experiences?

open your heart and use all your lives to be your true self?

for me this is all vague, feel good stuff that actually says alot while saying nothing at all. it answers nothing but can not be argued with

can you or anyone answer these question directly with factual info?

sorry but thats how i feel about this.


No worries Doug, I'm as confused sometimes as to what its all about.

Growth - my take on all this is, that its what naturally happens when we go through life experiences - its said we need 'challenges' for soul growth.

'Authentic Frequency' means being true to my own particular blueprint for this life, in other words, to be myself through everything that happens or is presented to me.

'Staying 'connected to all life experiences', well for me, that means being aware and learning from them (lessons, yuk) and seeing patterns forming, as they will, especially if I keep on repeating behaviours which are not for my highest good ..pratfalls ensue!;)

My 'heart' (so I have been told) needs to open fully before I can experience my 'true self'. A work in progress there! Trust is a massive issue for me this time around

Yes, I'm as bewildered as you and the rest are - and I'm humble enough to realise and accept that I'm never going to 'get it' while in my current incarnation.
And mostly, I'm fine with that.

thepainterdoug
19th August 2025, 22:22
Mari/ many thanks I like your advise better than the channelers!!! I really wish we could all talk to each other in a less gobuldiegook way. Lol that may be the first time I ever wrote that word.

One of the reasons I backed off the UFO topic is all the acronyms, AATPT, AABCD, BBCDB, SKIFFS AND ALL Tiring!, and all being used as some kind of whos in the know? snobby code, etc. Get real people, just explain things as what is real to you. UFO. Unidentified flying Object

now gobuldiegook ? not sure what that is, but I know when I hear it.

Mari
20th August 2025, 10:26
Mari/ many thanks I like your advise better than the channelers!!! I really wish we could all talk to each other in a less gobuldiegook way. Lol that may be the first time I ever wrote that word.

One of the reasons I backed off the UFO topic is all the acronyms, AATPT, AABCD, BBCDB, SKIFFS AND ALL Tiring!, and all being used as some kind of whos in the know? snobby code, etc. Get real people, just explain things as what is real to you. UFO. Unidentified flying Object

now gobuldiegook ? not sure what that is, but I know when I hear it.

Not that I'm dissing channellers per se, But I do like Plain Language :bigsmile:

This will be clearer:

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/gobbledygook
Translations
nonsense; meaningless or encrypted language
something written or said in an overly complex, incoherent, or incomprehensible manner

Delight
20th August 2025, 14:18
Delight. I think I understand some of what you wrote above but then again, not at all sure. Would an analogy be something like cleaning out the cache of your computer?

Yes, exactly. Not sure if it is a valid wish but I still have it. From what I see, the astral miasm is choking us.

Delight
21st August 2025, 01:43
I encountered what I think is part of a deliberate effort to frustrate and obfuscate the ability to access our warranties. I have a 2018 subaru with 64,000 miles. The console has a touch button screen for radio etc. It went haywire and I went to a Subaru dealership an hour away for evaluation. The repair is close to 1600.00 dollars BUT I have an extended warranty till 2027.

This is both a huge bill and a necessary function. Some people would be hard pressed like me to come up with it. That is why we seek warranties. How often do we need them? But if we have one that actually covers costs, thenwe HAVE it.

The dealership didn't find it recorded (using a VIN number to look up records). I went to the Ford dealership to verify and the NEXT phase was simply computer generated program to wear me down. I was given faulty information. I left Ford with details about my plan and a phone number that did not have anything to do with the program. Two calls to the Ford dealership later, I had a working number for the warranty program. The FIRST 2 numbers took me to a hard sell medicare scam about the pendant to push if you fall. WEIRD. Could AI just arbitrarily swith numbers?

Anyway, it seems that computer generated info is suspect now. Why was that weird number on their service profile for the warranty?

There was a horrible music that played over and over while I waited in endless hold.

I finally talked to someone in the department that deals with the warranty and finally gave good info to Subaru dealership. This was a couple of hours later. They will check and get back to me.

My take away is that THIS is what is happening THROUGHOUT daily life navigating the system. It is MY thought that If what is called AI is just a big interconnected network programmed to drive us mad, IF it is programmed to make every feedback system like a warranty almost impossible to make good on, THEN it is just obvious to me that we are being subjected to an intense effort to make us unable to learn anything NEW because we are in a constant feedback loop of a program like a Kafka vision.