Ordained Spirituality

[steve_a]

Hi Everybody,

I've just been ordained as a Minister. I thought I'd share that with you all. I only ever give out personal details of myself from time to time in the forum and this is one of the times.

I was ordained at the Universal Life Church and with the assistance of the internet and $32.00 I can now marry people (I think I read somewhere that someone was engaged $$$) and can set up my own church! Of course that costs extra, but hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Right?

If you want to become a Minister of the Universal Life Church, just Google "UniversalLife Church" and the site will show you how.

Best regards,

Steve

[linz2d]

Well why not, its says on the website that you have to be over the age of 13 to be ordained... you are older than 13 I presume?

[steve_a]

Hi linz2d,

I would say I'm a little over the age of thirteen. I wouldn't want to do anything crass and damaging to my ordination.

But thanks for enquiring. You can take the front row pews. :)

Best regards,

Steve



Well why not, its says on the website that you have to be over the age of 13 to be ordained... you are older than 13 I presume?

[folotheflo]

Hi Everybody,

I've just been ordained as a Minister. I thought I'd share that with you all. I only ever give out personal details of myself from time to time in the forum and this is one of the times.

I was ordained at the Universal Life Church and with the assistance of the internet and $32.00 I can now marry people (I think I read somewhere that someone was engaged $$$) and can set up my own church! Of course that costs extra, but hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Right?

If you want to become a Minister of the Universal Life Church, just Google "UniversalLife Church" and the site will show you how.

Best regards,

Steve

what !!! wow....that is amazing !!! and you say you only needed the internet and 32 dollars ? Well, good luck to you mate, if the the lord is out there, i hope he does help you !

[linz2d]

Just enquiring... can you do Vampire weddings? :suspicious:

[steve_a]

I'm ordained so I must be able to...



Just enquiring... can you do Vampire weddings? :suspicious:

[linz2d]

...wow, I'll keep that in mind.

[Shezbeth]

Congratulations! I was ordained by the ULC back in '99 (before they charged money ^_~)

You can also preside at funerals, and even forgive sins!

[sunflower]

Hi Steve A, since we are all fellow Avalonians, I am sure you'll give us all a good rate for baptizing, forgiving, marrying and presiding. Thanks in advance!:cool:

[manny]

32.00 dollars .
do you do discount if your a member of Avalon;)

sorry sunflower ,just saw your post above.

[Nasu]

Hi Everybody,

I've just been ordained as a Minister. I thought I'd share that with you all. I only ever give out personal details of myself from time to time in the forum and this is one of the times.

I was ordained at the Universal Life Church and with the assistance of the internet and $32.00 I can now marry people (I think I read somewhere that someone was engaged $$$) and can set up my own church! Of course that costs extra, but hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Right?

If you want to become a Minister of the Universal Life Church, just Google "UniversalLife Church" and the site will show you how.

Best regards,

Steve

I've just been ordained too, thanks for that. After many years of mental and physical training I felt I was ready to be ordained online. I am now complete. I opted for the free plan myself, I felt it better reflected my commitment.

In order not to complicate my future posts, if its about spiritual matters please refer to me as Father, Babba Guru, Pappi, or Rabbi, but if the topic is more humble or inane please just call me Sir. In all other correspondence you can continue to call me whatever you feel appropriate. Good, here endeth my first lesson; religion not spirituality, but religion, can and will continue to be twisted to the moral boundaries of its membership. Babba Guru out. xxx

[steve_a]

Hi Nasu,

The beauty of the Universal Life Church is that it deals with all religions and spiritual matters. Even witchcraft! So it doesn't really matter what anyones beliefs are, as an ordained minister I can teach everyone and anyone.

@ Sunflower: If you can get a coach party up and we can meet over the internet I'll keep the costs down. I'm a Universal Life Church minister, not a mercenary.

Best regards,

Steve






Hi Everybody,

I've just been ordained as a Minister. I thought I'd share that with you all. I only ever give out personal details of myself from time to time in the forum and this is one of the times.

I was ordained at the Universal Life Church and with the assistance of the internet and $32.00 I can now marry people (I think I read somewhere that someone was engaged $$$) and can set up my own church! Of course that costs extra, but hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Right?

If you want to become a Minister of the Universal Life Church, just Google "UniversalLife Church" and the site will show you how.

Best regards,

Steve

I've just been ordained too, thanks for that. After many years of mental and physical training I felt I was ready to be ordained online. I am now complete. I opted for the free plan myself, I felt it better reflected my commitment.

In order not to complicate my future posts, if its about spiritual matters please refer to me as Father, Babba Guru, Pappi, or Rabbi, but if the topic is more humble or inane please just call me Sir. In all other correspondence you can continue to call me whatever you feel appropriate. Good, here endeth my first lesson; religion not spirituality, but religion, can and will continue to be twisted to the moral boundaries of its membership. Babba Guru out. xxx

[Dennis Leahy]

I was ordained at the Universal Life Church ...

Steve

I'm curious what your real motivation was in making this "announcement" here. Care to honestly elaborate? If you do, I'll tell you when and why I became a Universal Life Church ordained minister.

Dennis

[steve_a]

Hi Everybody,

I was considering opening up my own church, but then I saw it cost extra. As I'm a frugal minister I thought to myself, "There's got to be an easier way", after all I would hate to think the Universal Life Church ordained me just for the money. :o

I had a quick chat with a friend os mine and they told me I had to have Articles of Faith to begin setting up the church, so I thought, "Sod it, I'll ask the forum members to help me out!"

So here goes. I need ten articles of faith, which will describe the object of the church. As my church will be 'open' I reckon we can rustle up these articles between us.

Each article should begin, "We believe......"

Best regards,

Steve

[steve_a]

Hi Dennis Leahy,

I've been a member of this forum from the get go and do share from time to time. Some time ago I informed the forum that I was Lord (Lord Stephen of Sealand).
You became a Universal Life Church Minister? I didn't know I had such illustrious colleagues!

Best regards,

Steve




I was ordained at the Universal Life Church ...

Steve

I'm curious what your real motivation was in making this "announcement" here. Care to honestly elaborate? If you do, I'll tell you when and why I became a Universal Life Church ordained minister.

Dennis

[Nasu]

Not Nasu, Babba Guru in these sort of posts, please. Thanks brother Steve. So true. Thanks for the discount as well, very thoughtful of you, dito. Clearly though, we were both ready, the internet heard our call for instant drive through ministry. As restrictive as the membership is for the Universal Life Church, I have unwavering dogmatic faith it will only attract the right sorts. It is our humble duty as religious leaders to gently guide and help all faiths to believe in ours and doubt their own. Any intolerance must be cleansed with death and or religious war. All donations can be made at the website. In faith.. Babba Guru. xxx

[Dennis Leahy]

Hi Dennis Leahy,

I've been a member of this forum from the get go and do share from time to time. Some time ago I informed the forum that I was Lord (Lord Stephen of Sealand).
You became a Universal Life Church Minister? I didn't know I had such illustrious colleagues!

Best regards,

Steve




I was ordained at the Universal Life Church ...

Steve

I'm curious what your real motivation was in making this "announcement" here. Care to honestly elaborate? If you do, I'll tell you when and why I became a Universal Life Church ordained minister.

Dennis

You appear to be mocking the concept. Are you? That's OK, you won't offend me or the other Universal Life Church ministers. Religions are all fair game, as far as I'm concerned.

Did you really join, or is this a comedy routine for you - to mock the church? Seems like if you were serious, you'd already have your own sense of articles of faith and would not ask on a forum for help.

If you really joined, why on Earth did you pay money?

If this is a comedy routine, and if you support the "real" ministers of various other "legitimate" religions, may I ask just exactly how long a period of time is appropriate for someone to study religion and/or spirituality, exactly what they should abstain from (if anything), or adhere to (if anything) in order to be equal to the legitimacy of, say, a Jewish rabbi or a Catholic priest?

Dennis

[steve_a]

Hi Dennis Leahy,

I paid good money for my ordination, Order number: #167722

Their address: Universal Life Church Monastery,
1425 Broadway #67
Seattle WA 98122

I chose the Universal Life Church so that I can skip all that 4-6 year Catholic church stuff. It only took me 2 minutes and I imagine holds the same authority as a say, Catholic Church ordination.

I don't think I put humour (although it is a trait of mine) in my posts, just honesty. The humour is in the mind of the perceiver.

As I have only been ordained this morning I haven't really had the time to get my articles of faith in order, starting my own faith/spiritual/pagan church only came to me as an after thought. It'd also be a great way to bond.

I'm beginning to think I may have been conned out of 32 bucks here because you asked me why I paid money. Are you telling me you got ordained as a minister in the Universal Life Church for nothing? Were you ordained into the church by another minister? Have you received your Ordination Diploma? Actually it was the diploma which cost 6 bucks and postage was 25. There you go, but all the same for me to get where I have up till now it cost 32 green ones.

Best regards,

Steve




Hi Dennis Leahy,

I've been a member of this forum from the get go and do share from time to time. Some time ago I informed the forum that I was Lord (Lord Stephen of Sealand).
You became a Universal Life Church Minister? I didn't know I had such illustrious colleagues!

Best regards,

Steve




I was ordained at the Universal Life Church ...

Steve

I'm curious what your real motivation was in making this "announcement" here. Care to honestly elaborate? If you do, I'll tell you when and why I became a Universal Life Church ordained minister.

Dennis

You appear to be mocking the concept. Are you? That's OK, you won't offend me or the other Universal Life Church ministers. Religions are all fair game, as far as I'm concerned.

Did you really join, or is this a comedy routine for you - to mock the church? Seems like if you were serious, you'd already have your own sense of articles of faith and would not ask on a forum for help.

If you really joined, why on Earth did you pay money?

If this is a comedy routine, and if you support the "real" ministers of various other "legitimate" religions, may I ask just exactly how long a period of time is appropriate for someone to study religion and/or spirituality, exactly what they should abstain from (if anything), or adhere to (if anything) in order to be equal to the legitimacy of, say, a Jewish rabbi or a Catholic priest?

Dennis

[Dennis Leahy]

Yes, silly person. It's free to become a Universal Life Church minister. Be careful, next you'll spend money on a pope-mobile or end up owing the IMF a fortune when they lend you enough to build a giant Gothic church in the Brasilian jungle.

So, if you really did do this, you must have had a reason (especially if you fell for the "diploma".) What was your real reason? And, whatever your reason... if your real reason was as a conversation starter, or to get attract a girl who always wanted to marry a minister, c'mon, be honest, tell us.

Dennis

[Nasu]

Hi Everybody,

I was considering opening up my own church, but then I saw it cost extra. As I'm a frugal minister I thought to myself, "There's got to be an easier way", after all I would hate to think the Universal Life Church ordained me just for the money. :o

I had a quick chat with a friend os mine and they told me I had to have Articles of Faith to begin setting up the church, so I thought, "Sod it, I'll ask the forum members to help me out!"

So here goes. I need ten articles of faith, which will describe the object of the church. As my church will be 'open' I reckon we can rustle up these articles between us.

Each article should begin, "We believe......"

Best regards,

Steve

Hi Brother Steve

Since going through the trans-formative process of joining and being ordained in the Universal Life Church. I have formed my own small splinter group, called Dojitsu. We are about two hundred strong, but would welcome your addition.

Do in Japanese means the way, jitsu means the art, so the literal translation is the art of the way, or the way of the art, either way its art and art mimics life, life is the ultimate freedom and freedom of thought is the ultimate way. We try not to over complicate things, it is whatever you make of it, like all beliefs.

Dojitsu is a religion, like Buddhism is a religion. Technically they are both philosophies, however, like all things depend largely on the individual members perspective and freedom of thought. Dojitsu members are known as Wajedi's and can come from many paths, Dojitsu is open to all men, all women, all races, all religions, all political groups, all sexualities and all ages, sorry no pets.


Dojitsu's seven guides of faith:

1. Thou shalt have Balance - There is no good and bad only balance
2. Though shalt make Allowances - What you allow, will be
3. Though shalt have intent - Thought made manifest, do what we intend
4. Thou shalt accept the Law of Attraction - What you put out you will receive
5. Thou shalt respect your neighbor's faith - Including possessions and relationships
6. Thou shalt be free to think whatever thou like - See four and seven
7. Thou shalt always do the right thing - See one through six

- Babba Guru. xxx

[steve_a]

Hi Dennis Leahy,

Is the Pope-Mobile for sale? Buying a second hand car in Italy never seems like a good deal, even if it's had one careful owner. Not quite at that stage of building a Gothich church, why Gothic? I'm going in baby steps, slowly slowly catch your monkey.

I apparently did fall for the diploma although it is used to legalise you to "preach" in certain US states. Others require a character reference ($18.00 from the Universal Life Church). I'll get my own done at the local register office with a doctor friend.

You seem to be very interested in my interest in the Universal Life Church. Do you have an ulterior motive in that interest? Don't worry, if you do I'll forgive you. I can do that now.

Best regards,

Steve



Yes, silly person. It's free to become a Universal Life Church minister. Be careful, next you'll spend money on a pope-mobile or end up owing the IMF a fortune when they lend you enough to build a giant Gothic church is the Brasilian jungle.

So, if you really did do this, you must have had a reason (especially if you fell for the "diploma".) What was your real reason? And, whatever your reason... if your real reason was as a conversation starter, or to get attract a girl who always wanted to marry a minister, c'mon, be honest, tell us.

Dennis

[steve_a]

Hi Babba Guru,

You speak of great thoughtfulness and knowledge in your guides of faith. As you said that the name of your faith means art and life I thought the first guide was to do with high wire acts.

I was sort of hoping you could all come over to join my little ensemble, well it's just me and my dog (which rules me out for your church - we accept pets). We need the subs. Baby steps...

Best regards,

Steve






Hi Everybody,

I was considering opening up my own church, but then I saw it cost extra. As I'm a frugal minister I thought to myself, "There's got to be an easier way", after all I would hate to think the Universal Life Church ordained me just for the money. :o

I had a quick chat with a friend os mine and they told me I had to have Articles of Faith to begin setting up the church, so I thought, "Sod it, I'll ask the forum members to help me out!"

So here goes. I need ten articles of faith, which will describe the object of the church. As my church will be 'open' I reckon we can rustle up these articles between us.

Each article should begin, "We believe......"

Best regards,

Steve

Hi Brother Steve

Since going through the trans-formative process of joining and being ordained in the Universal Life Church. I have formed my own small splinter group, called Dojitsu. We are about two hundred strong, but would welcome your addition.

Do in Japanese means the way, jitsu means the art, so the literal translation is the art of the way, or the way of the art, either way its art and art mimics life, life is the ultimate freedom and freedom of thought is the ultimate way. We try not to over complicate things, it is whatever you make of it, like all beliefs.

Dojitsu is a religion, like Buddhism is a religion. Technically they are both philosophies, however, like all things depend largely on the individual members perspective and freedom of thought. Dojitsu members are known as Wajedi's and can come from many paths, Dojitsu is open to all men, all women, all races, all religions, all political groups, all sexualities and all ages, sorry no pets.


Dojitsu's seven guides of faith:

1. Thou shalt have Balance - There is no good and bad only balance
2. Though shalt make Allowances - What you allow, will be
3. Though shalt have intent - Thought made manifest, do what we intend
4. Thou shalt accept the Law of Attraction - What you put out you will receive
5. Thou shalt respect your neighbor's faith - Including possessions and relationships
6. Thou shalt be free to think whatever thou like - See four and seven
7. Thou shalt always do the right thing - See one through six

- Babba Guru. xxx

[Nasu]

Hi Babba Guru,

You speak of great thoughtfulness and knowledge in your guides of faith. As you said that the name of your faith means art and life I thought the first guide was to do with high wire acts.

I was sort of hoping you could all come over to join my little ensemble, well it's just me and my dog (which rules me out for your church - we accept pets). We need the subs. Baby steps...

Best regards,

Steve






Hi Everybody,

I was considering opening up my own church, but then I saw it cost extra. As I'm a frugal minister I thought to myself, "There's got to be an easier way", after all I would hate to think the Universal Life Church ordained me just for the money. :o

I had a quick chat with a friend os mine and they told me I had to have Articles of Faith to begin setting up the church, so I thought, "Sod it, I'll ask the forum members to help me out!"

So here goes. I need ten articles of faith, which will describe the object of the church. As my church will be 'open' I reckon we can rustle up these articles between us.

Each article should begin, "We believe......"

Best regards,

Steve

Hi Brother Steve

Since going through the trans-formative process of joining and being ordained in the Universal Life Church. I have formed my own small splinter group, called Dojitsu. We are about two hundred strong, but would welcome your addition.

Do in Japanese means the way, jitsu means the art, so the literal translation is the art of the way, or the way of the art, either way its art and art mimics life, life is the ultimate freedom and freedom of thought is the ultimate way. We try not to over complicate things, it is whatever you make of it, like all beliefs.

Dojitsu is a religion, like Buddhism is a religion. Technically they are both philosophies, however, like all things depend largely on the individual members perspective and freedom of thought. Dojitsu members are known as Wajedi's and can come from many paths, Dojitsu is open to all men, all women, all races, all religions, all political groups, all sexualities and all ages, sorry no pets.


Dojitsu's seven guides of faith:

1. Thou shalt have Balance - There is no good and bad only balance
2. Though shalt make Allowances - What you allow, will be
3. Though shalt have intent - Thought made manifest, do what we intend
4. Thou shalt accept the Law of Attraction - What you put out you will receive
5. Thou shalt respect your neighbor's faith - Including possessions and relationships
6. Thou shalt be free to think whatever thou like - See four and seven
7. Thou shalt always do the right thing - See one through six

- Babba Guru. xxx

Thanks Brother Steve

We could come over to you, we are a movable feast. You would need to take on a more thought provoking name, perhaps Pope? I leave it to your good judgment. As for the pets rule, you will come to see its wisdom over time, they rarely bring any dews and hate to tithe their toys, bones or treats, in short they just want a free spiritual ride. Its the 80/20 rule, they tend to take up 80% of your time for 20% of their effort.. Babba Guru. xxx

[Dennis Leahy]

Hi Dennis Leahy,
...

You seem to be very interested in my interest in the Universal Life Church. Do you have an ulterior motive in that interest? Don't worry, if you do I'll forgive you. I can do that now.

Steve


My motive is not so ulterior. I was curious why you started this thread. I wondered if it was just to mock the religion (again, fair game), or to alert fellow Avalonians about the existence of the church and the liberal policy to become an ordained minister - in case they might have the need to legally possess those credentials for some worthy reason. I would guess that the most common reason people become an ordained Universal Life Church minister is as a lark. I would guess that the second most common reason would be that some friends were getting married, and wanted a friend to perform the ceremony, rather than a "justice of the peace" or priest/rabbi/minister of some faith the couple was not really interested in.

I have never known anyone to actually take the step to receive a tax advantage (this does exist within the US income tax structure.) To legally/legitimately do that in the US, I think the person would have to declare that their MAIN occupation is as a minister, and I would think you'd very quickly open up a barrel of snakes (that's much nastier that a can of worms) by messing with the Internal Revenue Service. I believe you are in Brazil, IIRC, and so you'd have to consult with Brasilian authorities to determine if there is a tax advantage for you (and that of course, assumes that you are actually going to make it you main vocation and not just perform one wedding or something.)

Thanks for the offer of forgiveness. Since my motives are pure, I'll not need it in this case, but it is good to know in advance that you are quick to forgive.

I'm still curious why you became a minister. Will you tell us? Did I hit it in my #1 or #2 guess above? (My own reason was neither of those. Maybe you have an interesting story to tell about something positive you plan to do that somehow required you to be a minister?)

Dennis

[giovonni]

Congratulation Steve :clap2:

thanks for sharing this personal spiritual event ~ from within your heart's soulful journey.

[Roseheart]

Hey Steve,

Now that you're a minister I find you way more attractive and will be p.m -ing you.
Are you going to be the sort of minister who dresses up or just wear plain clothes?
Like, will you be wearing that pointy fish hat like the pope and the robes and sparkly stuff? I think that's better than the all black thing some of them have going on, that's a bit depressing and you don't want to bring people down...

[Anchor]

Steve

You made an "application" which was accepted and in doing so you contracted with the church did you not?

I hope this is as innocent as it sounds :)


Once you become a pastor, minister, rabbi or priest, you can proceed to perform baptisms, administer traditional weddings and even start your own ministry. ULC can support you with an array of online church services including ministerial training, spiritual books and guides, and many other resources.

Become a minister today, it is always free of charge. You do not have to purchase anything from ULC to be an online ordained minister. All that we ask is for you to promote freedom of and from religion and to "do that which is right." It is up to each individual to determine what is right as long as it does not infringe upon the rights of others and is within the law

...


Within 24 hours after your submission, you will receive an email to confirm your ordination. Please read this email carefully; It is not only a welcome message explaining your ordination, it also contains important information and links.
** If you did not receive the message, then please contact us to verify that your ordination was added.

Please can I see this?

Anyway, thanks for this educating thread. I can almost sense the knee-jerk reactions to it from here, but as one who does not suffer much jerky-knees these days - it bought a massive smile to my face.

John..

[Seikou-Kishi]

The problem is, you don't need anybody to ordain you. To think that the simple act of ordination grants any kind of spiritual talent or authority is somewhat erroneous in my eyes; initiation can't come from outside, I don't think. As for starting your own church — you don't need ULC approval to do that at all, how do you think that diploma mill started in the first place?[COLOR="red"]

Edit:

To Dennis: he may just have been trying to share his news, as here http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?19959-I-have-some-great-news-Everyone

[9eagle9]

I have a Stonehenge Action Playset.

You two can fight over me now.

[norman]

Denis, you're derogatory responses to Steve A's posts are not in keeping with the principles and aims of Avalon Forum.

I therefore banish you to one week's vacation.

[9eagle9]

WEll know you now someone who has actually taken the step for Non profit status.

The reason that is made available to people is that

1) they have alternative beliefs that there are no ordinations for.

2) Someone like Jordan Maxwell could easily have more knowledge about alternative religions and easily qualify as a minister so why bother sending him through seminary school when he can kick everyone's ass there ..he or someone like him could do that.

2) they are seeking tax shelter for an organization and need a reason to claim non profit. the young man who rents my garage is using one to create a non profit retreat for his own personal use.

3) Ding dongs looking for credibility when their alternative joo joo fails to produce it.

4) Cutting edge healers that are top notch but need a security shelter because they are breaking the law.

5) With more states mandating that touch therapy healers cant' TOUCH people without a massage license having an ordination puts you under the religious umbrella. Ministers are expected to touch people and we still have the sacred cow between church and state.

6) I was ordained by another minister for a time before I was officially made an ovate...but only for non profit status. I don't use it for any other reasons because ovation doesnt' fall under this sort of thing.

7) Some people like the parking pass and the press pass and get it for that reason. To bust in on events that the public otherwise is not allowed into. Gee why would someone in the alternative community want to see what the press is cobbering up?!

8) Cops don't ticket ministers. They could but they don't...not much anyway

You do not have to claim full time status as a minister. May very by state. Claiming Non profit tax status is not messing with the IRS, its making you more impervious to them messing with you. There's a zillion ways to boink the IRS by their own statues. In forum we are ALWAYS talking about UCC law.






Hi Dennis Leahy,
...

You seem to be very interested in my interest in the Universal Life Church. Do you have an ulterior motive in that interest? Don't worry, if you do I'll forgive you. I can do that now.

Steve


My motive is not so ulterior. I was curious why you started this thread. I wondered if it was just to mock the religion (again, fair game), or to alert fellow Avalonians about the existence of the church and the liberal policy to become an ordained minister - in case they might have the need to legally possess those credentials for some worthy reason. I would guess that the most common reason people become an ordained Universal Life Church minister is as a lark. I would guess that the second most common reason would be that some friends were getting married, and wanted a friend to perform the ceremony, rather than a "justice of the peace" or priest/rabbi/minister of some faith the couple was not really interested in.

I have never known anyone to actually take the step to receive a tax advantage (this does exist within the US income tax structure.) To legally/legitimately do that in the US, I think the person would have to declare that their MAIN occupation is as a minister, and I would think you'd very quickly open up a barrel of snakes (that's much nastier that a can of worms) by messing with the Internal Revenue Service. I believe you are in Brazil, IIRC, and so you'd have to consult with Brasilian authorities to determine if there is a tax advantage for you (and that of course, assumes that you are actually going to make it you main vocation and not just perform one wedding or something.)

Thanks for the offer of forgiveness. Since my motives are pure, I'll not need it in this case, but it is good to know in advance that you are quick to forgive.

I'm still curious why you became a minister. Will you tell us? Did I hit it in my #1 or #2 guess above? (My own reason was neither of those. Maybe you have an interesting story to tell about something positive you plan to do that somehow required you to be a minister?)

Dennis

[perfectresonance]

http://i54.tinypic.com/b6avll.jpg

Thanks Steve_a!

This is awesome brother!

Didn't know this was so easy. I am in the process of starting the Church of the Flightless Kiwi.

The church has already performed its first Miracle! Check THIS out! (http://www.3news.co.nz/Kiwi-found-in-Russia-baffles-authorities-wildlife-experts/tabid/1160/articleID/210527/Default.aspx)

Anyway, all are welcome, all are loved.

We're in good company around here.

There is even a social networking site for us. (http://ministers.themonastery.org/)

I looked hard, but couldn't find Inelia there, in spite of her also being a member (http://www.ascension101.com/about.html).

Now, in the interest of full disclosure - I may have rushed into this with a little too much enthusiasm.

As in "Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread".

Why?

Well, I told Mrs Perfectresonance that she's now married to an Ordained Minister, and... to put it delicately, she wasn't amused and felt this step should have been preceded by a talk to discuss if this was a good idea.

oops.

Does anyone know how to reverse this rash decision?

You know... in the event I can't get Mrs P to see it my way?

[astrid]

hmmm....

I think i'm missing something here.

Possibly the whole point.

Maybe an Aspie moment.

[Anchor]

Hi Everybody,
...

So here goes. I need ten articles of faith, which will describe the object of the church. As my church will be 'open' I reckon we can rustle up these articles between us.

Each article should begin, "We believe......"

Best regards,

Steve

Hello Steve,

I have spent a lunchtime on this excellent idea. I expect that these need some work but here could be a first draft.

Church of the blatant hidden agenda

1) We believe that the entire and boundless expanse of the multi-verse is the single ongoing thought of the one infinite creator.

2) We believe that freewill is the first distortion of the original thought.

3) We believe that the freewill of the one infinite creator has caused everything to be, including the infinite fragments of consciousness that we are.

4) We believe that we are equal in the eyes of the one infinite creator, neither being higher or lower than each other.

5) We believe that in this incarnated life, the law of attraction enables us to manifest our illusion and that we are co-creators in that illusion at any given time/space moment

6) We believe that our lives are conditioned by freewill choice and the responsibility for those choices is ours alone

7) We believe we are free, but that we have been tricked into thinking, feeling and believing and therefore manifesting the situation that we are not free - and that the work of our church is to bring about the letting go of this illusion of bondage

8) We believe in the importance of gratitude for our capacity as fragments of the one infinite creator to experience the one infinite creation

9) We believe that the service to others path is the defining choice of our church

10) We believe that the life we are currently living is a fleeting experience, in time

11) We believe that the life we are currently living is a fleeting experience of time

12) We believe in forgiveness, healing, truth, love, light, kindness and harmony

13) We believe in you and that you should join us!

14) We believe that the donate button here -> {placeholder} <- is worth pressing even if you don't want to join! [Recommended donation - all you have!]

Steve, now that is done, I think we should move on quickly to the development of a policy on dealing with heretic's thereby creating division and fear among the masses. This would accompany a more shall we say enthusiastic recruitment drive - the sooner we start the better.

I have secured funding for a wholesale supply of quality black T shirts and jackboots - this may be of assistance in the subsequent phases of the ministerial mission

Additionally, and quite suspiciously, before I even posted this several credit card organizers have petitioned me in email for the donate button functionality to be directed toward their processing centers - how lucky is that!

Enthusiastically yours,

John..

[steve_a]

Hi Dennis Leahy,

Why did I become a minister? All of the above and the fact that at the Universal Life Church there isn't all that paper shuffling needed as there is in other hhmmm (clearing my throat) places, after all, minister is a minister is a minister. Right? We all get the same credibility.

If I have a positive plan that warrents me to become a minister? I'll say so. You'll have to come to my congregation to find out (I'm not even sure yet)! You'll feel a lot lighter when you leave. On your way out you'll feel like you've lost ten pounds (you need to be British to appreciate that). When in Rome.....

Best regards,

Steve






Hi Dennis Leahy,
...

You seem to be very interested in my interest in the Universal Life Church. Do you have an ulterior motive in that interest? Don't worry, if you do I'll forgive you. I can do that now.

Steve


My motive is not so ulterior. I was curious why you started this thread. I wondered if it was just to mock the religion (again, fair game), or to alert fellow Avalonians about the existence of the church and the liberal policy to become an ordained minister - in case they might have the need to legally possess those credentials for some worthy reason. I would guess that the most common reason people become an ordained Universal Life Church minister is as a lark. I would guess that the second most common reason would be that some friends were getting married, and wanted a friend to perform the ceremony, rather than a "justice of the peace" or priest/rabbi/minister of some faith the couple was not really interested in.

I have never known anyone to actually take the step to receive a tax advantage (this does exist within the US income tax structure.) To legally/legitimately do that in the US, I think the person would have to declare that their MAIN occupation is as a minister, and I would think you'd very quickly open up a barrel of snakes (that's much nastier that a can of worms) by messing with the Internal Revenue Service. I believe you are in Brazil, IIRC, and so you'd have to consult with Brasilian authorities to determine if there is a tax advantage for you (and that of course, assumes that you are actually going to make it you main vocation and not just perform one wedding or something.)

Thanks for the offer of forgiveness. Since my motives are pure, I'll not need it in this case, but it is good to know in advance that you are quick to forgive.

I'm still curious why you became a minister. Will you tell us? Did I hit it in my #1 or #2 guess above? (My own reason was neither of those. Maybe you have an interesting story to tell about something positive you plan to do that somehow required you to be a minister?)

Dennis

[steve_a]

Hi norman,

Thanks foryour support. One could be forgiven in thinking that Dennis could consider a minister at the Universal Life Church a shill, or con man if you will.

Best regards,

Steve



Denis, you're derogatory responses to Steve A's posts are not in keeping with the principles and aims of Avalon Forum.

I therefore banish you to one week's vacation.[COLOR="red"][COLOR="red"]

[steve_a]

Hi Roseheart,

Thanks for the PM. I'll get back to you, but in the meantime all I can say is, "On a bicycle".

I haven't decided which 'look' I'll use for my ministerial duties, so I'm still in the closet about that one, although I wasn't thinking about it when you mentioned pointy fish hat, that did draw my attention a little. I understand what you mean about the all black thing. That is sooo 1970's.

However, I'll obviously need to have a new name to make me seem more mysterious and special, something like Zark or Zontek. Perhaps the members here can help me out with a new name and then I can baptise myself! That'd be a first!

Best regards,

Steve





Hey Steve,

Now that you're a minister I find you way more attractive and will be p.m -ing you.
Are you going to be the sort of minister who dresses up or just wear plain clothes?
Like, will you be wearing that pointy fish hat like the pope and the robes and sparkly stuff? I think that's better than the all black thing some of them have going on, that's a bit depressing and you don't want to bring people down...

[steve_a]

Hi Anchor,

I received a message from the Universal Life Church, but that was a credit card invoice. Is that the same thing?

A full 24 hours haven't passed so their autoresponder hasn't kicked in yet. I will be waiting in my e-mail for that to drop in any time soon. When it does I'll send you a copy.

Best regards,

Steve



Steve

You made an "application" which was accepted and in doing so you contracted with the church did you not?

I hope this is as innocent as it sounds :)


Once you become a pastor, minister, rabbi or priest, you can proceed to perform baptisms, administer traditional weddings and even start your own ministry. ULC can support you with an array of online church services including ministerial training, spiritual books and guides, and many other resources.

Become a minister today, it is always free of charge. You do not have to purchase anything from ULC to be an online ordained minister. All that we ask is for you to promote freedom of and from religion and to "do that which is right." It is up to each individual to determine what is right as long as it does not infringe upon the rights of others and is within the law

...


Within 24 hours after your submission, you will receive an email to confirm your ordination. Please read this email carefully; It is not only a welcome message explaining your ordination, it also contains important information and links.
** If you did not receive the message, then please contact us to verify that your ordination was added.

Please can I see this?

Anyway, thanks for this educating thread. I can almost sense the knee-jerk reactions to it from here, but as one who does not suffer much jerky-knees these days - it bought a massive smile to my face.

John..

[steve_a]

Hi perfectresonance,

Welcome to the club (er welcome brother to the fold - I'm still learning).

I think Inelia isn't a member of the social networking group because the site is having problems. Let's pray for divine intervention.

I'm not sure you can reverse the rash decision. Once you in, it's like a monkey on your back. It'll follow you wherever you go.

Best regards,

Steve




http://i54.tinypic.com/b6avll.jpg

Thanks Steve_a!

This is awesome brother!

Didn't know this was so easy. I am in the process of starting the Church of the Flightless Kiwi.

The church has already performed its first Miracle! Check THIS out! (http://www.3news.co.nz/Kiwi-found-in-Russia-baffles-authorities-wildlife-experts/tabid/1160/articleID/210527/Default.aspx)

Anyway, all are welcome, all are loved.

We're in good company around here.

There is even a social networking site for us. (http://ministers.themonastery.org/)

I looked hard, but couldn't find Inelia there, in spite of her also being a member (http://www.ascension101.com/about.html).

Now, in the interest of full disclosure - I may have rushed into this with a little too much enthusiasm.

As in "Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread".

Why?

Well, I told Mrs Perfectresonance that she's now married to an Ordained Minister, and... to put it delicately, she wasn't amused and felt this step should have been preceded by a talk to discuss if this was a good idea.

oops.

Does anyone know how to reverse this rash decision?

You know... in the event I can't get Mrs P to see it my way?

[ace]

Hi Steve
I was mulling over a few names for you.

The wizard of Avalon.

Minister Merlin.

ohh I Don't know its all Hocus Pocus to me.

Ps Could you send me a blessing Oh Enlightened one!!
Regards to you and your flock...
Ace

[steve_a]

Hi Ace,

My first miracle! I sent the blessing before you asked me to!

I shouldn't use the name of Avalon as I wouldn't want anyone think I'm jumping on the success of the forum. Nor Merlin, or anything to do with King Arthur as people might think I have something to do with the Camelot Castle hotel in Cornwall - you see, Camelot does exist! I wouldn't want anybody to think I'm making cheap advertising, just yet.

But it does seem that Gurus and the like do have a pen name so I really need to find one.

I'll need to read a few books on the subject which I intend to minister first of course, then go back to my manager training course of how to make people feel good (Mazlow's good for that, so I suppose that's in the bag already).

Oh, there is so much to do...

Best regards,

Steve

Hi Steve
I was mulling over a few names for you.

The wizard of Avalon.

Minister Merlin.

ohh I Don't know its all Hocus Pocus to me.

Ps Could you send me a blessing Oh Enlightened one!!
Regards to you and your flock...
Ace

[Lost Soul]

Hi Everybody,

I've just been ordained as a Minister. I thought I'd share that with you all. I only ever give out personal details of myself from time to time in the forum and this is one of the times.

I was ordained at the Universal Life Church and with the assistance of the internet and $32.00 I can now marry people (I think I read somewhere that someone was engaged $$$) and can set up my own church! Of course that costs extra, but hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Right?

If you want to become a Minister of the Universal Life Church, just Google "UniversalLife Church" and the site will show you how.

Best regards,

Steve

Steve,

You were taken. I paid only $5 back in the '70s for mine from the ULC. I've never performed a marriage though.

Lost Soul

[Roseheart]

Hey Steve,

Another miracle! I was already on the bicycle when I read your post! It's all falling into divine alignment!
Could we incorporate bicycles into our worship? Some sort of ritual journey we take perhaps...?
That would solve the whole what to wear dilemma - we're all in skin tight lycra! Fluoro! With helmets!

[Lost Soul]

The advantages of becoming ordained are reduced as the IRS increasingly scrutinizes churches (or 501c(3). We can't have a Church of St. Gallo and spend mass drinking wine or beer en masse. I think most folks call it a bar.

[sheddie]

well if drinking wine without guilt is involved ....................I might consider joining you............................ after blessing it with love of course :pray:

:peace: and goodwill to all humankind

My :humble: congratulations on your new vocation

much love x

[steve_a]

Hi Roseheart,

Miracles happen in the most likely places. Yesterday I was picturing you in Lycra! Just saying.

I've decided to go the spiritual way as I've discovered it's so much easier! You know me, if there's a simpler way to do it...

There's a book out, "Spirituality for Dummies" which not only shows you what to do, it explains it simply, so simply in fact even a child could do it. I'd post the link but I don't want to be seen to be taking advantage of the forum guiding people, however if people using their own free will they could Google the title of the book. Of course I won't buy the book as the site in question is giving free snippets of each chapter and so I'll just join the dots (another childs activity) and piece it all together, like a jigsaw later. The book is written by Sharon Janis, not exactly the hottest babe on the planet, but she gets the job done and unlike other Gurus, she does actually have real experience! My work will be cut out against her! More about Sharon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdO46ybmceE

I also read the "Idiots Gide to Spirituality" at this link: http://www.baliadvertiser.biz/articles/spiritual/2003/idiots.html

It's free and easy to read. I reckon once I get these two things under my belt I can start out and look for my first venue on an ad-hoc basis of course. Let's see what happens. So far I've still only invested $32.00 in my venture, and have one follower - my dog and after your and my bonding moment - who knows!

Best regards,

Steve




Hey Steve,

Another miracle! I was already on the bicycle when I read your post! It's all falling into divine alignment!
Could we incorporate bicycles into our worship? Some sort of ritual journey we take perhaps...?
That would solve the whole what to wear dilemma - we're all in skin tight lycra! Fluoro! With helmets!