The Lessers

[Charlie Pecos]

Howdy Folks,

I come before you, my Avalon friends, to share with you once again my observations of life and the deeper workings of my mind (a scary place to be LOL). I sometimes get frustrated with myself for using the words "me" "I" and "myself". Sounds like maybe someone is a bit too self centered. I honestly try not do that, please forgive this one bad habit.

I had yet another dream last night where I was the lone standout in a large group. Not in a good way. I was in a college class and the rest of the class was getting the material just fine, but I was having difficulty understanding it. At one point, I was working so hard to try to understand the material that i was not aware that the rest of the class had left and gone somewhere else. There I was, forgotten about and left behind completely oblivious to what was so obvious to the rest of the group. It brings up issues of rejection and abandonment. I'm not good enough and I don't fit in, something I have been trying to understand my whole life.

How is it in life that some folks are born and just naturally fit in with the group dynamic, whiles others are naturally ostracized? What life lessons are to be learned by both sides of this equation? Are those who are rejected by the group actually ahead of the game and just not aware of this fact? Being ostracized from the group certainly teaches one self reliance. It also teaches one to be comfortable being alone for long periods of time.
We are able to view our world much differently than those who must conform to the group social order.

But it also teaches distrust and mistrust of other people. It teaches one to be very wary when a member of the group approaches and presents themselves as a friend. The people in the larger group are able to see that we who are different are easy to trick through lies and deception. Why is this even necessary?

We, "the lessers", view our world rather simply. We take everything at face value and we tend to believe something someone tells us because we simply cannot conceive of why it would be necessary to lie to and manipulate such a simple and inconsequential creature as ourselves. We understand that we are nothing special and yet we desire to be special, to be revered by the group. It takes many times of being burned and ridiculed to learn that our perceptions are wholly unrealistic. This further reinforces our separation and ostracism from the group.

It is obvious to me that there is a life lesson at play here. Furthermore, it appears that our group (my family) seem to have this in common. I have never been able to have many friends in real life, and really don't understand why. Maybe all those years of bullying and damage have made me socially disfunctional. I don't pick up on social cues that are obvious to others, I never learned this stuff. I look at others who have friends from childhood that they are still engaged with and I just can't comprehend what that feels like. I don't know anybody from my childhood save for my family.

It is also obvious that there are extradimensional forces at play here. Many things are said and done that are common to disparate groups that have no contact with each other and nothing outright in common save for little 'ol me. Perhaps there is a karma issue to be resolved.

I would be interested to hear any thoughts you all might have on this subject. If my sharing inspires you to post something off topic, please do. I enjoy being able to share my thoughts with you all and I very much enjoy when our discussions are free form. I like when things flow naturally and take us places we would have otherwise not gone.

Peace and love to all, thank you for giving me the space to do my thing.

[Tony]

Dear Charlie,
I am at total empathy with you.
We are just outside the box.......there must be a reason!!

All the best
pie'n'eal

[sshenry]

Hello Charlie :)

I feel what you are saying - completely (in fact, you could be speaking what has been in my mind regarding this for a very long time).

Over the years I have come to an understanding in my own mind, and perehaps there will be others who feel the same way (or not), but I will share it here.

Each of us, each and every one of us are on a journey. The problem is, we are all on different stages of the journey. There are some who are at a stage of their journey where conforming to the 'norm' is a necessary part of that journey. For whatever reason there is a lesson that they need to learn out of conforming. I watch them and am unbelieving that they feel the need to be 'like' everyone else, that they need the comfort of what is recognized and accepted around them like so much bubble wrap, and my fingers itch to pop each and every bubble blister and expose them to the freedom and joy that are outside the packing, but it would probably kill them. Well, maybe not kill them, but it would probably discomfort them to the point that their minds would be damaged because they just aren't ready for it.

I know that this sounds as if I'm saying that we (you, me, those others who feel the same way) are somehow better than these others, but it is not that, we are simply at a different stage of the journey. We've gone beyond the need for conformity, for dishonesty and manipulation. Perhaps we've 'been there done that', if not in this lifetime, than in another, and it is something we worked through and put behind us. Something which, we decided, did not reflect the highest aspect of who we are. Something that we found did not tally with our soul purpose and so we have shed it like a too-small snake skin.

As pi'n'eal said, perhaps there IS a purpose, and perhaps that purpose is to serve as an example of what comes next; of what life outside the box is like; for those who still reside within it.

[Charlie Pecos]

Dear Charlie,
I am at total empathy with you.
We are just outside the box.......there must be a reason!!

All the best
pie'n'eal

I quite agree, just trying to figure out what that reason is!


I know that this sounds as if I'm saying that we (you, me, those others who feel the same way) are somehow better than these others, but it is not that, we are simply at a different stage of the journey. We've gone beyond the need for conformity, for dishonesty and manipulation. Perhaps we've 'been there done that', if not in this lifetime, than in another, and it is something we worked through and put behind us. Something which, we decided, did not reflect the highest aspect of who we are. Something that we found did not tally with our soul purpose and so we have shed it like a too-small snake skin.

As pi'n'eal said, perhaps there IS a purpose, and perhaps that purpose is to serve as an example of what comes next; of what life outside the box is like; for those who still reside within it.

This is exactly what I have been thinking. No we are not better, as this would be a faulty line of thought. No one is better than another, we understand this and we don't understand why others cannot get this simple concept. I have been wondering if it is because we are the few who are ahead of the curve, we see the perils and pitfalls of the social games. We recognize the need to be true to ourselves and our other selves. It is our greatest strength, and yet our greatest weakness. We simply lack the abilities for lies, manipulation, and deception. We lack the ability to detect when we are being deceived, at least for a while until we learn how to detect through trial and error. We desire a world where everyone is honest with us so that we may be honest with them, without the social repercussions that exist in our world. We live in a throw away society. How many of us have been thrown away because we made a social mistake? I'll go first-*raises hand* To be fair, I have also thrown friends away because they made a mistake- something I'm not proud of.

[mosquito]

Wow Charlie you have articulated my feelings almost perfectly !! This morning, I was sitting out in the sun, waiting for my first class, and I was watching all the people around me think "I don't belong", and it's been like that ALL my life. I've almost never felt included, never understood why people do the things they do, don't understand the games being played and frankly don't get the point of my being here at all. Obviously my life has changed enormously over the years, and recently I've just been happy doing my own thing, trying my best to live honestly when all around is dishonest, working on myself, but this morning I realised the non-belonging is still there, the search for a tribe, a family is ongoing.
Blessings

[manny]

i felt i don,t belong for a looooong time now.
but i will say it as got easier as you get older.
i try to explain something to someone and they laugh,without even doing any research.
even though i may have some evidence.
ex.tonight i explained the incoming comet/brown dwarf Elenin to some co workers.i should them the path it would take and the effects of certain dates of past.
now i explained that these could be pure coincidence or actual effects.
so without even trying to look it up,and see for themselfs,guess what,i,m a nutter.
but i am not offended,people can only see what thay have been taught.
you either have a opened mind or not.
why ..because its not the norm for them.
people want to fit into the system,buy a house,have a family,have a car,buy the goods.
trying to wake people up is bloody hard.
so question yourself.
would you rather live their life or yours?
red pill blue pill?
fortunatley you never needed a pill,it came natueraly.
you do belong,we do belong.
and yes Charlie we are loners,i prefer my own company most of the time as i feel no one understands me.
and i feel this can be said for many.
thats why we are here.

[Mad Hatter]

Hi Charlie

For my part being left out of the herd, if you will, came from changing countries at a young age. Due to a difference in the schooling systems I was put up a grade, 3 instead of 2... Being physically a year behind my whole school life, including the onset of puberty etc. coupled with a funny accent apparently made me an other. Interestingly enough rather than being held to the standards of any one particular group I was free to drift amongst all and found a niche as messenger of sorts between various groupings who for the sake of face could not be seen in any direct contact.

It gave me practice at adjusting myself to fit the various different protocols thus today I am as comfortable talking to a managing director as I am the cleaner at the same company. I'll leave you to guess which of the aforementioned provides the more stimulating conversation. I suppose this could be viewed as being two faced but I prefer to look at it as more being pragmatic for the occasion. You catch more flies with sugar...

The other benefit of this was I developed an attitude of stating this is what I'm going to do and you are welcome to join me if you like. An example would be ending up leading 4WD convoys into outback Australia. The huge upside to this approach was I got to lead the pack and not sit in the dust further down the line!! I suppose what I'm trying to get at here is that you could percieve what you are going through as leadership training of sorts, if TSHTF you may just find all those you have tried to wake up, one day standing on your doorstep demanding to know more.... ;)

[PurpleLama]

I would put forth that a beautiful, if illogical, next step in this thread would be to whole-heartedly recommend to anyone and everyone who is not familiar with it, reading the Principia Discordia. I would suggest that this would provide valuable thought forms on how to make the most of your "otherness". Good Luck!!!!!!!

[Charlie Pecos]

Wow Charlie you have articulated my feelings almost perfectly !! This morning, I was sitting out in the sun, waiting for my first class, and I was watching all the people around me think "I don't belong", and it's been like that ALL my life. I've almost never felt included, never understood why people do the things they do, don't understand the games being played and frankly don't get the point of my being here at all. Obviously my life has changed enormously over the years, and recently I've just been happy doing my own thing, trying my best to live honestly when all around is dishonest, working on myself, but this morning I realised the non-belonging is still there, the search for a tribe, a family is ongoing.
Blessings

Thank you Philip, your words and my thoughts are synchronous. I too enjoy doing my own thing and just being myself, warts and all. And yes the searching goes on- why are things the way they are? Where are MY people? (I think I found a few of them:))Do you think we are relics of a bygone era, or are we waiting for something yet to come, a different time when we will have something special to offer the world?


felt i don,t belong for a looooong time now.
but i will say it as got easier as you get older.
i try to explain something to someone and they laugh,without even doing any research.
even though i may have some evidence.
ex.tonight i explained the incoming comet/brown dwarf Elenin to some co workers.i should them the path it would take and the effects of certain dates of past.
now i explained that these could be pure coincidence or actual effects.
so without even trying to look it up,and see for themselfs,guess what,i,m a nutter.
but i am not offended,people can only see what thay have been taught.
you either have a opened mind or not.
why ..because its not the norm for them.
people want to fit into the system,buy a house,have a family,have a car,buy the goods.
trying to wake people up is bloody hard.
so question yourself.
would you rather live their life or yours?
red pill blue pill?
fortunatley you never needed a pill,it came natueraly.
you do belong,we do belong.
and yes Charlie we are loners,i prefer my own company most of the time as i feel no one understands me.
and i feel this can be said for many.
thats why we are here.

It was asked of me in a rhetorical fashion when I first began my journey of awakening, "how far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?" All the way was my reply. So i put the question to you, are we, The Lessers, here to serve a greater purpose or are we just a footnote? The one thing you said that really struck me was about having an open mind. I have always had an open mind and been able to see things in ways others just couldn't. And as you pointed out, try explaining that to others who just can't comprehend.

[Charlie Pecos]

Hi Charlie

For my part being left out of the herd, if you will, came from changing countries at a young age. Due to a difference in the schooling systems I was put up a grade, 3 instead of 2... Being physically a year behind my whole school life, including the onset of puberty etc. coupled with a funny accent apparently made me an other. Interestingly enough rather than being held to the standards of any one particular group I was free to drift amongst all and found a niche as messenger of sorts between various groupings who for the sake of face could not be seen in any direct contact.

It gave me practice at adjusting myself to fit the various different protocols thus today I am as comfortable talking to a managing director as I am the cleaner at the same company. I'll leave you to guess which of the aforementioned provides the more stimulating conversation. I suppose this could be viewed as being two faced but I prefer to look at it as more being pragmatic for the occasion. You catch more flies with sugar...

The other benefit of this was I developed an attitude of stating this is what I'm going to do and you are welcome to join me if you like. An example would be ending up leading 4WD convoys into outback Australia. The huge upside to this approach was I got to lead the pack and not sit in the dust further down the line!! I suppose what I'm trying to get at here is that you could percieve what you are going through as leadership training of sorts, if TSHTF you may just find all those you have tried to wake up, one day standing on your doorstep demanding to know more.... ;)

Thank you for your contribution MH. I know which one provides the more stimulating conversation.:) You write exactly what I have been wondering. Is our perceived reality as "lesser" members of the social order just an illusion, our feeling of not belonging just a means to come to a greater understanding of societal machinations? Are we actually ahead of the curve and just not aware of it? To be sure, if TSHTF, there will be those who will look to us to explain what is going on.


I would put forth that a beautiful, if illogical, next step in this thread would be to whole-heartedly recommend to anyone and everyone who is not familiar with it, reading the Principia Discordia. I would suggest that this would provide valuable thought forms on how to make the most of your "otherness". Good Luck!!!!!!!

Thank You PurpleLama, I will definitely look into it. :)

[Belle]

Charlie, you and I met and found common ground on our feelings of being "different" shortly after we joined this forum. I must say that Avalon is the first place I really feel "at home". As someone else had mentioned once before, this is like the Island of Misfit Toys, and I belong.

I've always taught my children, and now my grandchildren, that being "different" doesn't mean better or worse...different is just different and that's okay. Hand in hand with that little piece of advice went telling them not to judge others by what someone else may say...they needed to find out for themselves by getting to know the person. Sometimes it's easier to teach and much hard to heed our own advice. I'm trying so hard to stop feeling different...it only hurts me to view the world through those eyes.

I have a cousin who is 6 months younger than I. After not seeing her for close to 20 years, the family had a reunion and I was so impressed by the person she had grown up to be. I could honestly say that she was the first person I had ever met who was really comfortable in her own skin. Here I was, still feeling like the outcast and uncomfortable, and she was so calm and relaxed. By not worrying about herself being different or about what she said being judged, she could really focus on others and into the conversation. Needless to say, I was impressed.

Her feeling was that most people are uncomfortable about themselves, even the social butterflies. And if she was self-conscious, others would sense it and react accordingly. Since she had nothing to lose and everything to gain by not being concerned with other people's opinion of her, she worked on being comfortable with herself. I'd say she was successful.

It helps when I think of each of us being a facet of a cut diamond...each beautiful and in their own space, but together make a beautiful whole.

[Charlie Pecos]

Charlie, you and I met and found common ground on our feelings of being "different" shortly after we joined this forum. I must say that Avalon is the first place I really feel "at home". As someone else had mentioned once before, this is like the Island of Misfit Toys, and I belong.

I've always taught my children, and now my grandchildren, that being "different" doesn't mean better or worse...different is just different and that's okay. Hand in hand with that little piece of advice went telling them not to judge others by what someone else may say...they needed to find out for themselves by getting to know the person. Sometimes it's easier to teach and much hard to heed our own advice. I'm trying so hard to stop feeling different...it only hurts me to view the world through those eyes.

I have a cousin who is 6 months younger than I. After not seeing her for close to 20 years, the family had a reunion and I was so impressed by the person she had grown up to be. I could honestly say that she was the first person I had ever met who was really comfortable in her own skin. Here I was, still feeling like the outcast and uncomfortable, and she was so calm and relaxed. By not worrying about herself being different or about what she said being judged, she could really focus on others and into the conversation. Needless to say, I was impressed.

Her feeling was that most people are uncomfortable about themselves, even the social butterflies. And if she was self-conscious, others would sense it and react accordingly. Since she had nothing to lose and everything to gain by not being concerned with other people's opinion of her, she worked on being comfortable with herself. I'd say she was successful.

It helps when I think of each of us being a facet of a cut diamond...each beautiful and in their own space, but together make a beautiful whole.

Beautifully articulated and much food for thought, thank you Belle.

[Belle]

Thanks, Charlie Bear. :hug:

I think I could sum up all I said into, 'if I can't accept myself as I am, how can I expect others to accept me.' Oh scratch that...I accept myself as I am. It's the desire for acceptance that I want to deny, but can't. Lets face it, thinking outside of the box makes us different from the rest by the simple fact that we are in the minority.

It is interesting that we who feel different are the ones to question the status quo. Maybe it's because we question ourselves most of all.

[yaksuit]

Excellent post and thread Charlie, big bear hug for you.

A token of my appreciation:

4YTICIppiP4

"When we lift the covers from our feelings
We expose our insecure spots
Trust is just as rare as devotion
Forgive us our cynical thoughts
If we need too much attention
Not content with being cool
We must throw ourselves wide open
And start acting like a fool
If we need too much approval
Then the cuts can seem too cruel

[Chorus:]
Right to the heart of the matter
Right to the beautiful part
Illusions are painfully shattered
Right where discovery starts
In the secret wells of emotion
Buried deep in our hearts

It's true that love can change us
But never quite enough
Sometimes we are too tender
Sometimes we're too tough
If we get too much attention
It gets hard to overrule
So often fragile power turns
To scorn and ridicule
Sometimes our big splashes
Are just ripples in the pool

[Chorus]

Feelings run high"


Cheers,
yak

[Flash]

I must admit something: even here, on Avalon, I sometimes feel like the lesser. If one of you go on a spree of beautiful sheakespearian verbal diarhea, there I am, feeling lost and lonely (this is for some of you, ecellent writers that I cannot follow - add to this some curtailing of threads references and I can't follow anylonger). Or if your intelligence level is outstanding, there I am, feeling small (quite frequent here on Avalon).

I often felt apart in life, I think this is due to different ways of seeing reality, based of different experiences, talents, types of intelligence or heart.

But my bet is: if we ask anybody on the street for the whole truth and ask: do you feel at odd with others or do you often feel different or do you feel like a lesser, 95% of people would say yes

why: because life experience and personal abilities makes us unique and somewhat misunderstood. Add to this the lack of acceptance and/or judgment, and there you are.

Add to this no more real and complete communications tools (even here the non verbal is lacking and the "feeling" does not always go through) and there we are.

Add over and above it some more prevalent personnal histories nowadays from separations, rejections, discriminations (ex: more numerous children from divorce or fatherless, hitting sour spot of abandonment, or history of racial/ethnic discrimination, etc), the hot button to feel the lesser are easily pushed.

In the past, villages were small and we knew the neighbors, like them or not, we would end up by accepting them and this would create a community, a sense of belonging, even if different. This has been lost and is not replaced yet, if it will ever be. You could then be very different and have those around you profit from your difference, even be respected for it (the beggar had his role as well as the loonie - however some villages were killing the withches, which was then your bad luck.).

My point: in todays world, 95% of us feel sometimes and/or often "the lesser". And for those who don't, I do worry, maybe we have a new description of sociopathy????:confused:

[jackovesk]

Feeding the 'Beast' of conformity has never sat comfortably with me.

I can fit in when I choose to, but through the years I have found my Soul needs more nourishment than the mindless smalltalk and keeping up with the Jones's & the He said/She said crowd!

I don't think it is a matter of 'Not Fitting In' it is a matter of 'Free Will/Choice'.

I often find myself looking up into a clear nights sky and asking 'I just want to go home', this planet is not for me!

Thats why I am not afraid of death/ascension, for when its my time I know I will finally get to go home.

In the meantime I will continue to expose those who have robbed Humanity of their True History & Knowledge.

I think too many times we often forget or don't acknowledge the importance of Forums like Avalon, the very Truth Uncovered and Exposed here, together with your deepest thoughts through your written words on these threads will echoe within the Universe forever and really do make a difference.

When the History Books are Re-Written in the years to come, it will be the 'Collective Unified Thoughts & Ideas' amassed throughout the internet and places like Avalon and the social media that will be one of the major reasons for the Positive Transformation of Human Consciousness leading both us, our children and those who come after us to a World of Peace, Knowing and Contentment.

So when it comes to Labels or Categorising your place in Society, leave that up to those you no longer choose to give your energy away to...

...and Welcome to the Real World

Love To You All,

Jack

[Herbert]

Charlie I certainly identify with most of what you describe but I am not familiar with the term 'Lessers'.

Does it have something to do with Aspergers?

[Charlie Pecos]

Thanks, Charlie Bear. :hug:

I think I could sum up all I said into, 'if I can't accept myself as I am, how can I expect others to accept me.' Oh scratch that...I accept myself as I am. It's the desire for acceptance that I want to deny, but can't. Lets face it, thinking outside of the box makes us different from the rest by the simple fact that we are in the minority.

It is interesting that we who feel different are the ones to question the status quo. Maybe it's because we question ourselves most of all.

Belle, much love and respect to you. I have given your words here much consideration and I see where you are exactly right. It's all about projection and reflection. But our minds are far more complex and fragile than this, we have feelings, insecurities and emotional triggers. Belle, you are so right. Despite knowing this the desire still remains to find out why we are the way we are. I think alot of us here question much of the "reality" around us and how it is presented to us. Perhaps this journey and our experience here is to decipher these enigmas. I love that I can come on here and bare my heart to you all, and you in turn give me thoughts and ideas I had never considered, you help me to see things I simply lacked the perspective to find.
Thank you all!

A GREAT BIG BEAR HUG TO ALL WHO HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THIS THREAD. :hug:


Excellent post and thread Charlie, big bear hug for you.


Thank you! And a big bear hug right back to ya!


I must admit something: even here, on Avalon, I sometimes feel like the lesser. If one of you go on a spree of beautiful sheakespearian verbal diarhea, there I am, feeling lost and lonely (this is for some of you, ecellent writers that I cannot follow - add to this some curtailing of threads references and I can't follow anylonger). Or if your intelligence level is outstanding, there I am, feeling small (quite frequent here on Avalon).

I often felt apart in life, I think this is due to different ways of seeing reality, based of different experiences, talents, types of intelligence or heart.

But my bet is: if we ask anybody on the street for the whole truth and ask: do you feel at odd with others or do you often feel different or do you feel like a lesser, 95% of people would say yes

why: because life experience and personal abilities makes us unique and somewhat misunderstood. Add to this the lack of acceptance and/or judgment, and there you are.

Add to this no more real and complete communications tools (even here the non verbal is lacking and the "feeling" does not always go through) and there we are.

Add over and above it some more prevalent personnal histories nowadays from separations, rejections, discriminations (ex: more numerous children from divorce or fatherless, hitting sour spot of abandonment, or history of racial/ethnic discrimination, etc), the hot button to feel the lesser are easily pushed.

In the past, villages were small and we knew the neighbors, like them or not, we would end up by accepting them and this would create a community, a sense of belonging, even if different. This has been lost and is not replaced yet, if it will ever be. You could then be very different and have those around you profit from your difference, even be respected for it (the beggar had his role as well as the loonie - however some villages were killing the withches, which was then your bad luck.).

My point: in todays world, 95% of us feel sometimes and/or often "the lesser". And for those who don't, I do worry, maybe we have a new description of sociopathy????

Hi Flash, thank you for posting. I can definitely relate to feeling like a lesser here on the forum. There are some very highly intelligent individuals here, MENSA quality I have no doubt. There is also a sort of behind the scenes In-the-know-crowd, and I know I'm not one of them. I would wager that you are absolutely correct in stating that 95% of people feel like a lesser. Perhaps it is up to us (those who feel like lessers but question why we should be considered such) to help others who feel like lessers to know that they are valued and appreciated. Like Belle said, Be comfortable and confidant with who we are. And yes, there is the whole societal aspect in regards to how children are raised and sequestered into different social groupings which lays the foundation for societal hierarchy later in life. Somewhere along the line, humans stopped perceiving other humans as being equal.


Feeding the 'Beast' of conformity has never sat comfortably with me.

I can fit in when I choose to, but through the years I have found my Soul needs more nourishment than the mindless smalltalk and keeping up with the Jones's & the He said/She said crowd!

I don't think it is a matter of 'Not Fitting In' it is a matter of 'Free Will/Choice'.

I often find myself looking up into a clear nights sky and asking 'I just want to go home', this planet is not for me!

Thats why I am not afraid of death/ascension, for when its my time I know I will finally get to go home.

In the meantime I will continue to expose those who have robbed Humanity of their True History & Knowledge.

I think too many times we often forget or don't acknowledge the importance of Forums like Avalon, the very Truth Uncovered and Exposed here, together with your deepest thoughts through your written words on these threads will echoe within the Universe forever and really do make a difference.

When the History Books are Re-Written in the years to come, it will be the 'Collective Unified Thoughts & Ideas' amassed throughout the internet and places like Avalon and the social media that will be one of the major reasons for the Positive Transformation of Human Consciousness leading both us, our children and those who come after us to a World of Peace, Knowing and Contentment.

So when it comes to Labels or Categorising your place in Society, leave that up to those you no longer choose to give your energy away to...

...and Welcome to the Real World

Love To You All,

Jack

Jack, very well written and I must say, I would love to sit down in a pub with you over a pint. You have no idea how badly I wish to return home. Keep up the good fight!


Charlie I certainly identify with most of what you describe but I am not familiar with the term 'Lessers'.

Does it have something to do with Aspergers?

Hi Herbert, the term "lesser" is something I have used since junior high school when I became acutely aware of the social hierarchy that exists in society. I was mostly a loner but was also aware of other kids who were outcasts and loners as well. I referred to us as "lessers"- as in a lesser being than those who were popular. We were certainly made to feel that way. There was and is no room for people who are different. We as a society must change this.

[mosquito]

"Thank you Philip, your words and my thoughts are synchronous. I too enjoy doing my own thing and just being myself, warts and all. And yes the searching goes on- why are things the way they are? Where are MY people? (I think I found a few of them)Do you think we are relics of a bygone era, or are we waiting for something yet to come, a different time when we will have something special to offer the world?"

Thanks Charlie, I still don't really know how to articulate it fully; I know who I am, and the deeper I dig the more I find. I know I'm not interested in playing any of the stupid games that seem to occupy so many people. I find it difficult to relate to people on a "normal" social footing, small talk ? Forget it ! But put me in a one-to-one with someone who wants to relate 100% honestly (a therapeutic relationship for example, or as a lover) then I'm unbeatable ! Other than those situations, I prefer the company of trees ! As to your question Charlie, parts of me feel like they belong in the past, but for the most part, I'm simply looking for a community where I CAN BE ME, and by being so, I enhance the lives of those I'm with; where people value and appreciate me for who I really am. Maybe that's all any of us really want, deep down.

One other thing if I may - I'm not too keen on the term "lesser" (not criticising your rationale for using the term in the past), I don't see myself as less of a person than George Bush, nor do I see myself as superior. The trouble is, whatever term we use, be it "other", "different", we're emphasising separation. I hope you've also come to realise that you are in no way less of a person, you are magnificent as you are, and living your life as YOU, true to your heart is all that matters. If the men in suits don't like it, that's their tough sh1t !!!

[dan i el]

Charlie, try this out, please: http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

[pickle]

Feeding the 'Beast' of conformity has never sat comfortably with me.

I can fit in when I choose to, but through the years I have found my Soul needs more nourishment than the mindless smalltalk and keeping up with the Jones's & the He said/She said crowd!

I don't think it is a matter of 'Not Fitting In' it is a matter of 'Free Will/Choice'.

I often find myself looking up into a clear nights sky and asking 'I just want to go home', this planet is not for me!
Thats why I am not afraid of death/ascension, for when its my time I know I will finally get to go home.

..........................Love To You All,

Jack

Hi Jack, re the bit I underlined in particular (I couldn't use bold or colour! ;) ), for the last 40 years I've talked to the stars every night, saying the same as you - an incredible feeling of being homesick, and just 'knowing' I'm missing someone.... or some strong feeling that I've had before... hard to explain!



@Charlie:
Thanks fella, you were one of those that made it OK for me to join here (as a lurker, I admired your honesty and open heart). The responses to your post are amazing - you've said all I've ever felt; that something's wrong (or not 'right'), I don't belong here either, and maybe I got dropped off at the wrong station lol.

There's a purpose to all of this, just a bit frustrating not knowing quite what it is sometimes :o



Peace,

Pickle

[ulli]

Thanks, Charlie Bear. :hug:

I think I could sum up all I said into, 'if I can't accept myself as I am, how can I expect others to accept me.' Oh scratch that...I accept myself as I am. It's the desire for acceptance that I want to deny, but can't. Lets face it, thinking outside of the box makes us different from the rest by the simple fact that we are in the minority.

It is interesting that we who feel different are the ones to question the status quo. Maybe it's because we question ourselves most of all.


I try to help people I meet to see and appreciate their own uniqueness. That way they can find they have a real talent and don't need to go about copying others.
It's the only remedy we have to counteract those massive forces that are trying to turn us into automatons.

I've been an outsider all of my life and had to come to terms with that, so one day I took responsibility that thinking there was something not quite right about it was just my own mind construct.

People who cling to a group like family or old school friends are also aware of being outsiders, but suffer even more from it, which is why they effort to stay inside a group.

The real pioneers like us Avalonians here just have more guts and actually are more comfortable in our own skins than the group crowd. So we take more knocks because we are discovering the great Unknown.

Bearhugs all around.

[dukes4monny]

An interesting thread.
I realised a few years ago that I don't do 'labels' and 'lessers' is a label, if someone identifies with that then that is absolutely fine.
I also don't do sports or clubs or politics or religion or fashion.........I just don't understand them, I gave up trying to understand them a looong time ago. I realise that some people need to feel like they are 'a part of something' and I am guessing that this is something to do with identifying with a reflection of themselves?

For me, I know that I am at home wherever I am and whoever I am with.........it hasn't always been that way for me........I guess it comes down to a kind of fear..........I have lost all fear of rejection or failure, it really doesn't bother me.
I do find myself listening more intently to what people say and I am always happy to help whether it's just talking or through physical action.

Ironically I do get involved with competitive sailing, but I do it because I see it as working with mother nature and I enjoy the challenge of getting the boat going as fast and as well balanced as possible.......if we win, fine, if we lose that's also fine. But some people do take the racing very seriously indeed.
I also sail my own yacht either with other people or I'm just as happy on my own. I enjoy the solitude that single-handed sailing offers. There is a BIG difference between solitude and loneliness...........

I guess that in a nutshell I now realise that life IS in fact a game and I play it the way that I want to. I am very comfortable being me.

[ulli]

An interesting thread.
I realised a few years ago that I don't do 'labels' and 'lessers' is a label, if someone identifies with that then that is absolutely fine.
I also don't do sports or clubs or politics or religion or fashion.........I just don't understand them, I gave up trying to understand them a looong time ago. I realise that some people need to feel like they are 'a part of something' and I am guessing that this is something to do with identifying with a reflection of themselves?

For me, I know that I am at home wherever I am and whoever I am with.........it hasn't always been that way for me........I guess it comes down to a kind of fear..........I have lost all fear of rejection or failure, it really doesn't bother me.
I do find myself listening more intently to what people say and I am always happy to help whether it's just talking or through physical action.

Ironically I do get involved with competitive sailing, but I do it because I see it as working with mother nature and I enjoy the challenge of getting the boat going as fast and as well balanced as possible.......if we win, fine, if we lose that's also fine. But some people do take the racing very seriously indeed.
I also sail my own yacht either with other people or I'm just as happy on my own. I enjoy the solitude that single-handed sailing offers. There is a BIG difference between solitude and loneliness...........

I guess that in a nutshell I now realise that life IS in fact a game and I play it the way that I want to. I am very comfortable being me.

I've known quite a few sailors. One of my girlfriends came from the UK to Barbados on a small sail boat...just her and her husband.
Like surfers, they are a special group of people.

Being on the water is definitely a spiritual experience that makes one philosophical and helps with self discovery.
Eternity expresses itself well when there is no land in sight.

[dukes4monny]

Eternity expresses itself well when there is no land in sight.

I like that a lot........

I am a volunteer skipper for the Disabled Sailing Association, it's just wonderful the effect that sailing has on most people, able or less able (I actually hate the word 'disabled').

If anyone needs to 'recharge their batteries' some time, I'm happy to take anyone out for a sail. Sorry this getting a bit OT.

[Charlie Pecos]

"Thank you Philip, your words and my thoughts are synchronous. I too enjoy doing my own thing and just being myself, warts and all. And yes the searching goes on- why are things the way they are? Where are MY people? (I think I found a few of them)Do you think we are relics of a bygone era, or are we waiting for something yet to come, a different time when we will have something special to offer the world?"

Thanks Charlie, I still don't really know how to articulate it fully; I know who I am, and the deeper I dig the more I find. I know I'm not interested in playing any of the stupid games that seem to occupy so many people. I find it difficult to relate to people on a "normal" social footing, small talk ? Forget it ! But put me in a one-to-one with someone who wants to relate 100% honestly (a therapeutic relationship for example, or as a lover) then I'm unbeatable ! Other than those situations, I prefer the company of trees ! As to your question Charlie, parts of me feel like they belong in the past, but for the most part, I'm simply looking for a community where I CAN BE ME, and by being so, I enhance the lives of those I'm with; where people value and appreciate me for who I really am. Maybe that's all any of us really want, deep down.

One other thing if I may - I'm not too keen on the term "lesser" (not criticising your rationale for using the term in the past), I don't see myself as less of a person than George Bush, nor do I see myself as superior. The trouble is, whatever term we use, be it "other", "different", we're emphasising separation. I hope you've also come to realise that you are in no way less of a person, you are magnificent as you are, and living your life as YOU, true to your heart is all that matters. If the men in suits don't like it, that's their tough sh1t !!!

Hi Philip, I couldn't agree more with what you have written and as for trees, well, I have a particular fondness for my arboreal brothers. I also completely agree about the label "lessers". Please understand I don't like it either. I have always seen that those who think and project themselves as being superior to others, are in point of fact not better than anyone. And not less than either. I simply use the term "lessers" here to describe something, a situation, a feeling, a group of people who don't quite "fit in" as it were. I am NOT less than, and neither are you or anyone else here. Be well my brother, I hope we meet some day. You have a friend in me.


Charlie, try this out, please: http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

I did and the results are:

Thank you for filling out this questionnaire.

Your Aspie score: 79 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 145 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical

[Charlie Pecos]

@Charlie:
Thanks fella, you were one of those that made it OK for me to join here (as a lurker, I admired your honesty and open heart). The responses to your post are amazing - you've said all I've ever felt; that something's wrong (or not 'right'), I don't belong here either, and maybe I got dropped off at the wrong station lol.

There's a purpose to all of this, just a bit frustrating not knowing quite what it is sometimes




Thank you Pickle, I am deeply humbled and honored by your words. I am glad you are here.


I've been an outsider all of my life and had to come to terms with that, so one day I took responsibility that thinking there was something not quite right about it was just my own mind construct.


Hi Ulli, I think there is something to this. Perception is reality, right? Is our natural ability for introspection and self correction what sets us apart from others? I know others who are simply unable to ask themselves the tough questions, and then change themselves when confronted with the truth.


I realised a few years ago that I don't do 'labels' and 'lessers' is a label, if someone identifies with that then that is absolutely fine.
I also don't do sports or clubs or politics or religion or fashion.........I just don't understand them, I gave up trying to understand them a looong time ago. I realise that some people need to feel like they are 'a part of something' and I am guessing that this is something to do with identifying with a reflection of themselves?


Hi dukes4monny, I'm right there with ya. I don't do sports, politics, fashion, or clubs either. Avalon is the closest thing to a club you will find me involved with. And I completely agree with you about labels. Unfortunately, due to the limitations of our communicative abilities, we are relegated to using words to describe something, no?

[dan i el]

Thank you for filling out this questionnaire.

Your Aspie score: 79 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 145 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical

thanks for taking it! :)

[Charlie Pecos]

Thank you for filling out this questionnaire.

Your Aspie score: 79 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 145 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical

thanks for taking it! :)

Thanks to you and Herbert for bringing it up. I had no idea what Aspergers was until you two brought it to my attention. :)

[Carmody]

I was ridiculed by an entire school, yes, at the age of 8-9, while in grade 4.* And a bunch of other stuff. So yes, I can identify with being on the outside.

I feel the differences are what stimulates our growth.

* other stuff that happened at the same time: I quit religion that year (which was new to me, religion was), taught myself stilled breathing meditation (this is the highest level one, the non rotting corpse/slowed time method) -and awoke my kundalini (whoops!), which made me horny. So I was 9 years old and trying to engage high school girls. You can imagine how that went. :p Oh yes, the school would not allow me to finish my writing skills classes 2x as fast as anyone else by using my natural ambidexterity..they forced me to pick a single hand. I chose to be left handed as it was my weaker hand (for writing).

[Charlie Pecos]

I feel the differences are what stimulates our growth.


Very good point! :) On a personal note, Carmody, I just want to say that you are an amazing individual! I may not always understand your posts, but I very much admire your intellect.

[jackovesk]

Hi Charlie, just found this photo which I'm sure will put a smile on your face. Rgs Jack

http://resources3.news.com.au/images/2011/05/17/1226057/678315-travel-photos.jpg

[Charlie Pecos]

Hi Charlie, just found this photo which I'm sure will put a smile on your face. Rgs Jack

http://resources3.news.com.au/images/2011/05/17/1226057/678315-travel-photos.jpg

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it! Big smiles from this bear! :)

Wait a minute. That looks an awful lot like Fred. That jerk told me he couldn't forage for berries because he was sick! Wait till I see him again.