The Change

[sshenry]

No, I’m not talking about menopause here, I’m talking about the other change – the one that comes as you wake up to the true nature of reality; to your true purpose; and to the depth of understanding; that innate knowing that comes with having (however briefly) touched the core of yourself and found yourself staring into the infinite.
Those of you who have felt this – who have gone through this – will know what I am talking about. If you haven’t, all the words I have won’t be able to describe it in a way that will help you to understand.

For me, The Change began with the birth of my youngest daughter. I remember the morning after the delivery, picking her up out of her bassinet and standing there with her at the hospital window; looking out at a spectacular sunrise; mist over rainforest and a blaze of peach, pinks and yellows and feeling everything inside me just – shift.
From that point on my life was, quite literally, never the same.

Before that I had been happy to be just who I appeared to be; a young wife and mother; content to make a home for my husband and children; a girl who’d put aside her ambitions and a lot of her dreams because she’d fallen in love mind you, but who had never complained about it because of what she’d gotten in return.

But at that moment, standing there at the hospital window, I remembered who I really was, the ambitions I’d had, the dreams I’d given up, all of it was nothing – nothing – compared to what I hadn’t understood about myself, and it was probably the most awe-inspiring and completely frightening moment of my life.

Awe-inspiring because of the beauty and rightness of what I was experiencing, but frightening because it meant that everything was going to change. It was going to change because now I knew.

And change it did; but not overnight, and at first I fought the changes because I didn’t want to lose what I had. I fought so hard I went into a spiraling depression that left me a shell of myself, but even that was a blessing in disguise because thanks to an advanced minded alternative health practitioner that got me started on meditation.

The last 15 years have been like peeling an onion; layer after layer of ideas, beliefs, habits and even relationships being peeled away; shedding each layer making me feel raw and vulnerable as something I had relied on; depended on, is swept out from under my feet.

And yes, this thread has a point. For those who have gone through this – how have you found yourself changing in regards to your dealings with others? With situations? Are you more open - or less open?

Personally, I’ve found that the more open and honest I am about who and what I am, the more it seems to drive people away, and while at first I thought that this meant I needed to 'tone it down' I've come to accept that I cannot be anything less than what I am. Thankfully I’ve found a handful of very dear friends who have actually encouraged me in this, but with most in my life, it always seems that I am saying goodbye.

Personal relationships, work relationships, I’d be curious to know how others are dealing with the changes themselves.

[Charlie Pecos]

Hi sshenry,

Boy can I relate to what you have written here. I remember holding my daughter for the first time, and in that one moment I knew there existed something far greater than myself. Unfortunately it took my father in laws suicide for me to finally "wake up". I have to be very careful around family members as they are very much indoctrinated into the program. My sister has told me that she just can't understand my "new" outlook on life because "that's not who I know you to be". "People change" was my reply.

I too have had relationships fall away in recent years, but I have been privileged to say "hello" more than I have had to say "goodbye". I have had my bouts with depression and came very close to leaving the game last year. For a reason I have yet to understand, I am still here. Each day is a new day, a new chance to get it right. I try to be kind, compassionate and understanding to others, even when they don't treat me the same. I am able to detect when others are open, and this can be fun but one does have to be very careful as there are different degrees of openess and I have pushed it too far with others. Still trying to figure it all out. I would say that I am much more open. If folks don't like who I am, I figure thats their problem and not mine.

Avalon has been a big help because I am able to come here and express myself and am welcomed with open arms. I am able to share ideas, thoughts, feelings and concepts here that would not be understood in everyday life. For this I am grateful.

[PixieDust]

being only 22 and being awakened (awoke?) I've lost a lot of connections and friends. I don't see it as a bad thing, good byes can be hard and changes can be tough to adjust to. I just see it as the ones I've lost haven't been awoken and that i'm just in a different place then them. Most people my age are just trying to adjust to being adults and figuring out life. I also have close friends that I know I'll always have and they know I'm "weird" and always have been :) I credit my mom to my awakening, she raised me always pushing me to see the other side and whats going on in the world. She's an old indigo and I'm a new indigo and i believe when floating around in space waiting to choose which mom i was gonna have i chose her for a reason to help me get to this place before the shift happens. I also "officially" changed after i gave birth to my twins, who are clearly crystal children (what fun that is!!) I've had many conversations with different people my age and a lot of them seem to be on the brink of awakening they just haven't had that push and i always try and put questions in their head to help them get that final push. Not necessarily pushing my thoughts on them but simply questions they may not have thought of and seeking the answers and their own truths that might help them find the other side. You can usually tell who isn't ready to change or whos on the brink or whos already switched over and i change my conversations with what stage they're at. I dont just go out and start ranting on all these things that the general population isn't ready to accept and that way im not isolated but im also not lying to myself. If you've had to say goodbye to people its probably for a reason and for the best. Clearly youre not alone. Im still very young on my journey and have many questions on what is and what isn't and what it means hence why joining this site. So thats how im dealing with it and how its affecting my life :)

[ulli]

I changed a long time ago and with it I lost my inner yuppy. My ambition for fame and wealth vanished overnight, so much so that despite people asking me to write a book about my life, I won't even consider that anymore.
The only service I now want to offer is something magical that doesn't get transmitted by a whole book but maybe just a few words.
People then can connect their own dots.
Those who have never gone through the change need to know that something wonderful is out there, as the first step to enlightenment is the desire to experience it.
It is different for everybody but it is such an eye opener and so awesome that all I can say to people is
"wish for it, with all your heart".

[Newlyn]

I changed wether i wanted it or not, it was not really a choice, but a natural force. It´s like when you bacome pregnant to walk the spiritual walk of heart; first you take the first steps, just show your intentions to universe. And after nature, God, will do the rest.

So I have been following that bliss. Just like Pixie here wrote I have said good bye to many friends myself, because the vibration was not the same. I don´t making any ranks here between people or different stages of life, there is just a difference in worlds. Everyone have their path to walk.

For me it begun when I had to face my inner fears. The fear of hell and death. At the same time I can remember one moment when I saw the wind blowing in the trees, and I said to myself: "THIS is God. Everything is God comunicating with God!". I kind of chocked myself, bacause it was not what my religion had teached me, but my heart. I was maybe 18 years old and God answered me strong. When you wake up you are very enthusiastic, but also a bit confused, because you take the step into a world for you not yet known or explored. I thought before that to go to church every sunday was what "faith" was all about, but when I had the coruage to walk out in the darkness of reallity with no one telling me how to do anymore, that was my first (but for sure not the last) lesson in real faith.

I realized that I´m not alone. That when I was caught in typical steriotyped "new age" spirituallity for some while, I had strong experiences with guides that came to me (in dreams, in my mother´s dreams, in signs and thoughts) and showed me alternatives. To fly in life, and trust that it holds. That we are all here for a good reason, and we are guided by a compassionate force that wholehartly honor, loves and respects us. I realized that there is no mesurement for spirituality, that we all grow, that we are all creators and that the only true path is the path of love.

My former picture of Jesus got transformed, and I cen feel how it smiles to me. It´s not a big search, it´s a big flow. A big walk to walk, and that when I fall I can choose to learn from it. To care for the follow souls on this planet and spread a message by being an example. I don´t have to convince anyone, and I have no one to blame.

The big change is still going on. I meet the same difficulties and challenges ang inner processes all the time, but somehow in bigger circles everytime. I guess that´s how it should be. I´m very happy and thankful to be alive, honestly.

I think that the big changes we are talking about in this thread also are happening in the bigger picture, and on planet earth. You can take the first choice to wake up, and by that be aware of the guidence, of what to do and to walk the path. Or you can deny the choice and sleep in the bubble. And by that wake up with the storm at your very door, with the ground shaking.

Dear friends and avalonians, don´t be afraid to speak the truth to the world. I just one person listens of 100 or 1000, it is a big victory, just like the big victory it was in your own lives. Cause if one person follow the path with awareness, so will the whole universe take a whole step upwards. Everything is very connected.

Blessings! ;)

[Lefty Dave]

Greetings
Transformation came to me abruptly....since the Eighties I had been reading anything and everything I could find that dealt with alternative ideas on science, religion, politics, investment, the purpose being ...to broaden my horizons so as to make more sound decisions in my life...only to realize...(as posted on Newlyns' closing).....THE MORE I LEARNED...THE LESS I KNEW! then, in '99, looking for archeological info...I came upon WingMakers....and was transformed. I had to read it a few times to get it....and the forum of scholars there helped me immensely....and took me to many other sites where I absorbed many new ideas about life....and living, and for that I have always been grateful. Sadly, many of the places on the web have been corrupted or removed , however there are new places and new people that share what they have learned in the hopes of bringing truth to the forefront of life. With higher learning , one can make better decisions on the course they set for their life...
The one thing I can pass on is this....
Set a goal for your future....and build a plan to achieve it...and don't worry much about sticking to the plan exactly...(as the world around you may have other ideas!)....but don't lose site of your goal, and Don't lose confidence in your SELF.

Blessings

[Darla Ken Pearce]

This is an incredibly beautiful and awesome thread. There is a spiritual aspect and commonality between each of your journeys that completely dovetails into my own heart and past lives. More recently, this one ; )

Each of you highlights a different aspect of the same struggles and strife along the path of our "becoming." So much so ~ I am nearly breathless reading your accounts. It strikes a bell of authenticity that fills me with wonder! It is humbling when we share these matters of the heart with each other. We become very precious, indeed.

It is rich, heart warming, and delicious ~ that you would trust enough to share your hearts here. There is no greater gift we can give each other. This sharing is love itself coming out to greet us!

It seems clear, at least to me, that some came to Earth with a higher sense of spirituality than the normal mix. We each have a certain balance of these gifts that we chose to bring with us. Each of you illustrates this aspect.

In 3D there was an entirely different value system. And so, what we represented was not valued ~ it comes from a different realm than the ones where monetary interests, piling up material treasures, has been paramount as a gauge of true "value." This is the 3D matrix.

What we are worth, credit, and credentials were the only recognized treasures and this has been so for a very long time. The standard was set by those like the Rockefellers, who set up the college structures in order to control the values, standards, and awards. This easily kept us locked in the system.

If you didn't fit into the controlled matrix, you couldn't receive credentials which are only of value in the old 3D systems of manipulation. It is not real. In this system, we were judged to be of no real value. This has been a world of illusions.

In these matters, those who acted out the spiritual high ground that nurturers, sustainers, and anchors hold ~ we were more in tune with spiritual values. By the old standards, we may be seen, even at times ~ by ourselves and certainly by others ~ to have fallen short. As 3D material values were never part of our focus. It's important to fully understand this.

Now as consciousness rises, spirituality will set a new standard in the New Golden Age ahead. In the present, now that the old systems have fallen, we suddenly have value that was not tangible nor appreciated before this time.

In the days ahead, it will became very clear to us through a spiritual review, we are undergoing now ~ when we will finally realize that our spiritual "currency" has never been measured in fiat dollars, gold, or pieces of purchased paper but something else of much higher and greater value.

And we will know then, that all we have endured suddenly makes perfect sense. After this clarification process, comes bliss.

Many will have an opportunity, and can choose to undertake this clarification process in the Crystal Temples of Inner Earth. Just ask your guides and higher power within and it will be granted.

We will be given the vision to see why all of it was needed, why we choose our path, so that our struggles will have meaning that brings a great peace upon us; a peace that is everlasting.

Once this peace comes upon us, we find ourselves out of the 3D matrix forever.

Now take a deep breath! And so it is... Great joy awaits! xoxoxox

[sshenry]

I have to be very careful around family members as they are very much indoctrinated into the program. My sister has told me that she just can't understand my "new" outlook on life because "that's not who I know you to be". "People change" was my reply.


I can empathize with this Charlie (and btw, thank you for sharing on the thread :)) my family too are very much indoctrinated into the program; in their case it is being deeply (and traditionally) religious. They can't get past my break with traditions and I find myself, over and over again, having to bite my tongue. I told that to someone once and they said I was 'lying' by not telling my family all of it, by not explaining all my views to them. I had to laugh. While I am not hiding who and what I am, neither am I going to go out and intentionally hurt them. A few have come to me, asking questions, and I have had to walk them through (baby steps) while others are content to believe about me whatever it is they've convinced themselves is the truth.

[sshenry]

being only 22 and being awakened (awoke?) I've lost a lot of connections and friends. I don't see it as a bad thing, good byes can be hard and changes can be tough to adjust to. I just see it as the ones I've lost haven't been awoken and that i'm just in a different place then them. Most people my age are just trying to adjust to being adults and figuring out life. I also have close friends that I know I'll always have and they know I'm "weird" and always have been :) I credit my mom to my awakening, she raised me always pushing me to see the other side and whats going on in the world. She's an old indigo and I'm a new indigo and i believe when floating around in space waiting to choose which mom i was gonna have i chose her for a reason to help me get to this place before the shift happens. I also "officially" changed after i gave birth to my twins, who are clearly crystal children (what fun that is!!)

Oh pixie, you make me smile! Thank you so much for sharing this :)

See, like you're mom, I'm an 'old' indigo too, or I was (I started going through a shift to crystal - yeah, it happens - about the time I turned 38, and wasn't THAT the experience!). I have two daughters one just two years younger than you (an Indigo if there ever was one!) and a crystal (age 14). Both of them told me - when they were barely able to talk, ,that they were glad that they'd chosen me to be their mother, so I think you're very right with the part about chosing your mom.

And that, i think, is a wonderful thing, that there are finally people being born (more and more of them) to those who are already awakened (in some cases, as in yours and my daughters - BORN awakened :))

¤=[Post Update]=¤



Those who have never gone through the change need to know that something wonderful is out there, as the first step to enlightenment is the desire to experience it.
It is different for everybody but it is such an eye opener and so awesome that all I can say to people is
"wish for it, with all your heart".

Exactly! And it is hard to watch people purposefully avoid those things that would lead to their own change. I understand that it comes from an ingrained fear, but it is saddening nontheless.

¤=[Post Update]=¤



Once this peace comes upon us, we find ourselves out of the 3D matrix forever.

Thank you for that :)

[nomadguy]

;)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLVu-QTmVG0


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGN-zodZaIw

tools needed: compassion, contemplation and humility

[Nyce555]

It definitely happened over time with me. I always have had a longing for something more and get quite bored easily with doing the same thing for too long. I just felt like I need to experience different things from one extreme to another. My family has always thought I was weird and "out there" with my ideas, but I only talk about cetain things with certain family members that are supportive. Thankfully, I was raised by a very open minded mother and my dad, whom I visited on weekends, always had me and my brothers watching Sci-fi movies all of the time. So it was only a matter of time before I had my awakening. I guess it happened when traditional things just didn't make any sense to me anymore, like doing things over and over just because it is what everyone else does. When you finally stop and ask "why am I dooing this? what purpose does it have?" That is when your awakening begins. We define our own lives through our experiences. I decided who I wanted to be at that point and accepting that I am always going to be an "out of the box" person or "weird" with my views and spiritual beliefs, but hey....if we were all the same what sense would that make.

[sshenry]

The one thing I can pass on is this....
Set a goal for your future....and build a plan to achieve it...and don't worry much about sticking to the plan exactly...(as the world around you may have other ideas!)....but don't lose site of your goal, and Don't lose confidence in your SELF.

Blessings

awesome advice Lefty :) Releasing your plans to the universe (to do with as it will) is a good idea too, as it prevents you getting broadsided, because the universe will give you exactly what it is that you desire, exactly, but it has a rather twisted sense of humor as to HOW to get it to you :)

[Carmen]

This is a great thread of personal experiences mainly.

Sometimes it takes 'shock' to wake us up to 'change'. Mine was when my daughter died in a car accident. It was a long time ago, but it was like being picked up, shaken severely, set down again and being told to 'now work it out'. It certainly catapulted me out of my materialistic, conventional mindset.

I became a spiritual warrior intent on finding 'truth', and nothing but 'truth'. What a journey! No stone was left unturned and like others here my family and friends thought I was quite odd. Friends drift away and new ones take their place. After all this time my family has woken also and that has been a miracle for me.

To go through all the emotional crap, all the unfinished karma to finally reach the place of 'being'. The 'now', the place of rest. One definitely has to be in control of thought processes because manifestation is very quick when duality is now. Whatever drops into the 'stillness' - manifests. Starting to understand the real reality of 'being', of staying there in everyday life. Whatever we are faced with in daily life, asking within for the answer. The suttleness of it, of knowing the different between the God within and the old ego/personality. Like a finely tuned radio station. The process of taking responsibilty in our lives. No blame, just learning, just evolving and appreciating all the 'players' in our drama and the parts they play. Of 'surrendering' to a greater intelligence (our own God Within) Of reaching a place of humbleness from the arrogance and knowitall attitude of personality beliefs. The 'letting go' of all that to it being okay to not be in control, to not know. The mind is open to new things and one is careful not to replace old beliefs with another whole set that still limits us. Learning and growing always.

Love to All

Carmen

[sshenry]

This is a great thread of personal experiences mainly.

Sometimes it takes 'shock' to wake us up to 'change'. Mine was when my daughter died in a car accident. It was a long time ago, but it was like being picked up, shaken severely, set down again and being told to 'now work it out'. It certainly catapulted me out of my materialistic, conventional mindset.

I became a spiritual warrior intent on finding 'truth', and nothing but 'truth'. What a journey! No stone was left unturned and like others here my family and friends thought I was quite odd. Friends drift away and new ones take their place. After all this time my family has woken also and that has been a miracle for me.

To go through all the emotional crap, all the unfinished karma to finally reach the place of 'being'. The 'now', the place of rest. One definitely has to be in control of thought processes because manifestation is very quick when duality is now. Whatever drops into the 'stillness' - manifests. Starting to understand the real reality of 'being', of staying there in everyday life. Whatever we are faced with in daily life, asking within for the answer. The suttleness of it, of knowing the different between the God within and the old ego/personality. Like a finely tuned radio station. The process of taking responsibilty in our lives. No blame, just learning, just evolving and appreciating all the 'players' in our drama and the parts they play. Of 'surrendering' to a greater intelligence (our own God Within) Of reaching a place of humbleness from the arrogance and knowitall attitude of personality beliefs. The 'letting go' of all that to it being okay to not be in control, to not know. The mind is open to new things and one is careful not to replace old beliefs with another whole set that still limits us. Learning and growing always.

Love to All

Carmen

What a beautiful story! How I wish that it hadn't had to involve your daughter dying :(

*hugs* to you hon.

[Karma Ninja]

I feel like my change has taken place during several stages of my life. I remember how my ambitions to stop being so selfish and materialistic began with the birth of my first daughter. I had a similar experience to yours sshenry, holding her by the window of the hospital with snow falling peacefully outside and feeling a tear drip down my face as I promised to make myself a better person. The doctor had to ask me to be bring her back so they could give her to mom and start their bonding. That promise was not just to her but to myself as well. It has been a amazing journey and here I am 15 years later and still learning with a 2 year old baby girl to keep me grounded and on the path.

As a side note, my older daughter reminds me of a time we were driving by the site of the hospital she was born in (since torn down and at that time being turned into a seniors home) and I pointed out to her that she was born right there, where the construction was being done, and she looked at me (only 4 years old on that day) and said "I was born in a pile of rocks?" We still laugh about it to this day. I love my kids and they have shown me I can love myself too!

Thanks for sharing in this thread and giving me pause to remember that day 'the change' started to happen.

[sshenry]

Thank you everyone for having shared here, is there anyone else that would like to join in? :)

[Gert]

Um.... I too feel as if my awakening is happening in conjunction with certain pivotal moments throughout my life. I also feel that I knew all that I am 're-learning' from the start of this incarnation. It seems to me that I was taught all my fears, apprehensions and preconceptions from the ignorance of those playing teaching roles. My parents, school teachers and even my friends imposed their ill-thought-out beliefs on me, with no chance to say otherwise or explore alternatives. Luckily, and unluckily I guess, I was inescapably aware of how negatively all this "knowledge" resonated with me.
Because of a lack of any real support structures, I went from an innocent, bright-eyed little boy who would never leave the tree tops, too an increadibly introverted boy (forceably turned young man) who could not look ANYONE in the eye. Back then my time was spent escapeing from the world inside fantastically wrought books and games. Then came alcohol. Then came the first kick: LSD. I know this sounds harsh but its true.
What I experienced there didnt turn me into an addict who would eventually kill himself, as i had hoped, but rather ripped me from this reality, rather violently concidering the amount of fear i was stock piling, and showed me what I had always known but was then intensely unprepared to deal with. I litterally walked the streets the following day unable to go home, because of the new eyes through which I saw the world, convinced that all could clearly see the change in me. I wept for the first time in my life and it was on public streets. From then on I knew myself and what needed to be done, regardles of how it sat with the people around me and, by my own will, I stepped out of the box I had been confined to, knowing that this new found path would be the most difficult thing I could do. I also knew it was the only thing that made sense and would eventually lead to my salvation. Since then, some 4years back, I have come a long way to restructuring my life so that I might be the absolute brightest light I can possibly be. Nothing else matters.
I have lost many friends and made some spectacular ones. I have caused massive conflict within my family and am glad to say that recently all has sorted itself out. I still struggle to connect with most people though and I feel that too is changeing.
Anyone can find the light. I am testiment to that. It comes down to choice: to be or not to be?

[ulli]

Um.... I too feel as if my awakening is happening in conjunction with certain pivotal moments throughout my life. I also feel that I knew all that I am 're-learning' from the start of this incarnation. It seems to me that I was taught all my fears, apprehensions and preconceptions from the ignorance of those playing teaching roles. My parents, school teachers and even my friends imposed their ill-thought-out beliefs on me, with no chance to say otherwise or explore alternatives. Luckily, and unluckily I guess, I was inescapably aware of how negatively all this "knowledge" resonated with me.
Because of a lack of any real support structures, I went from an innocent, bright-eyed little boy who would never leave the tree tops, too an increadibly introverted boy (forceably turned young man) who could not look ANYONE in the eye. Back then my time was spent escapeing from the world inside fantastically wrought books and games. Then came alcohol. Then came the first kick: LSD. I know this sounds harsh but its true.
What I experienced there didnt turn me into an addict who would eventually kill himself, as i had hoped, but rather ripped me from this reality, rather violently concidering the amount of fear i was stock piling, and showed me what I had always known but was then intensely unprepared to deal with. I litterally walked the streets the following day unable to go home, because of the new eyes through which I saw the world, convinced that all could clearly see the change in me. I wept for the first time in my life and it was on public streets. From then on I knew myself and what needed to be done, regardles of how it sat with the people around me and, by my own will, I stepped out of the box I had been confined to, knowing that this new found path would be the most difficult thing I could do. I also knew it was the only thing that made sense and would eventually lead to my salvation. Since then, some 4years back, I have come a long way to restructuring my life so that I might be the absolute brightest light I can possibly be. Nothing else matters.
I have lost many friends and made some spectacular ones. I have caused massive conflict within my family and am glad to say that recently all has sorted itself out. I still struggle to connect with most people though and I feel that too is changeing.
Anyone can find the light. I am testiment to that. It comes down to choice: to be or not to be?

I love your post. :)

[ulli]

Those who have never gone through the change need to know that something wonderful is out there, as the first step to enlightenment is the desire to experience it.
It is different for everybody but it is such an eye opener and so awesome that all I can say to people is
"wish for it, with all your heart".

Exactly! And it is hard to watch people purposefully avoid those things that would lead to their own change. I understand that it comes from an ingrained fear, but it is saddening nontheless.


What's making people avoid the "right" choices that could lead to their bliss is the inner saboteur, a not yet integrated personality that was somehow left behind, maybe in childhood, maybe in a traumatic relationship break up.

This is why a lot of the healing process requires one to look back into the past, at certain hurts, and try and see things from the perspective of the people we carry resentments against.
Whether it's a "bastard" of an ex-husband or a "bitch" of a former wife.
With time we can slowly start seeing things from their viewpoint, and how immature we all were back then.
Same goes for our "stupid" or otherwise imperfect parents.

Contemplation is usually the answer, and consciously making time to do so.
I find contemplation has helped me more with getting my inner act together than meditation, but then again, we are all different.

I tried TM long before contemplation and it led to more conflict in my life than I could digest at the time.

[sshenry]

I tried TM long before contemplation and it led to more conflict in my life than I could digest at the time.

God, I hear you with that. I still remember my first experience with TM, I was 19 and in college and like you said, just wasn't ready. In fact, it took me ten years before I dared even try any type of meditation.

[Mulder]

The change happened to me after 9/11. The things that really changed me were (1) reading "Conversations with Nostradamous" by Delores Cannon, where she said the Mark of the beast is a computer chip & I saw on you tube that the US military is implanting "Verichips" into soldier's right hands. I'm still wondering if these soldiers are "lost" in terms of the book of Revelation saying that people who take the mark cannot enter heaven. This wasn't a conscious choice to take the chip to defy God & at the moment people without the chip can still buy & sell, so I hope these soldiers are still OK. (2) The faces in the smoke during 9/11 - they are extremely scary and reminded me of the phrase, that we are not fighting flesh, but powers & principalities. Here is a link to the faces:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOZCdZ6i72I&feature=related

The song stairway to heaven when played backwards seems to say "I will bring 666" and 9/11 seems to be the way they will bring in the Mark, as more and more freedoms will be taken away to fight this war that will never end, because you cannot win a fight against a tactic ("terrorism"). So eventually people will accept digital money from a computer chip embedded in your right hand.
These are the 2 most important things that brought on the change in me. Thanks for reading.

[sshenry]

[Contemplation is usually the answer, and consciously making time to do so.
I find contemplation has helped me more with getting my inner act together than meditation, but then again, we are all different.

.

I actually found that meditation (focused breath meditation learned gradually, not just diving straight into TM) actually helped me to deepen the contemplation process, and touch more of the core of me :)

[ulli]

I'm sure it was a major stepping stone for me as well, as I learnt self observation in different group activities
and they always started with some kind of meditation....all of it more helpful than TM.
It's all so long ago now.
The TM kind was the first type of meditation I tried and I only did it for a few months...
recently I found out some interesting things about the mantras given;
mantras that were supposedly meaningless sounds, but right there was the deception,
as those mantras locked one into possession scenarios of different deities, like Kali,
I'm so glad now I didn't go all the way...
also in my astrology years had quite a number of clients who were extremely concerned about TM,
and found it was doing them more harm than good.
The final light was shed when I read Bronte Baxter's blog...she was a TM insider...

The awareness of being me is there, finally, and yet the little ullis still don't have the discipline to do all those excercises but never mind...

However, when emotions come like a riptide I use breath meditation, and it always works.

[sshenry]

I'm sure it was a major stepping stone for me as well, as I learnt self observation in different group activities
and they always started with some kind of meditation....all of it more helpful than TM.
It's all so long ago now.
The TM kind was the first type of meditation I tried and I only did it for a few months...
recently I found out some interesting things about the mantras given;
mantras that were supposedly meaningless sounds, but right there was the deception,
as those mantras locked one into possession scenarios of different deities, like Kali,
I'm so glad now I didn't go all the way...
also in my astrology years had quite a number of clients who were extremely concerned about TM,
and found it was doing them more harm than good.
The final light was shed when I read Bronte Baxter's blog...she was a TM insider...

The awareness of being me is there, finally, and yet the little ullis still don't have the discipline to do all those excercises but never mind...

However, when emotions come like a riptide I use breath meditation, and it always works.


I've been practicing meditation (breathing and focused meditation) for the last 15 years and would reccomend it to anyone - with one condition; you need to understand just how powerful meditation IS. By clearing your mind, bringing your chakras into alignment through meditation, yoga and the like, you are releasing years worth of negative enrgy and invoking the power of kundalini energy (which is nothing to be trifled with). The problem with TM is that it dropped those who were unprepared directly into the releasing and invoking without any sort of preparation - they have no frame of reference for it. Anything negative that is 'drawn out' they are going to interpret in the only way they know how, as 'demonic' entities etc.

I've gone through plenty of purging with meditation, if you understand what it is, how to channel it, and what it is that you are dealing with, there is nothing to be afraid of :)