I am on a quest

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I tried a new thing about a weak ago. I walked down to the store and sat down on the park bench outside. My goal was to meditate and focus only on my heart. I whanted to spread my love i feel on to others. No biggy was my thought! But it felt like i was being hit by small balls of fear (its how i can describe my feeling) I lost my focus many times. After a few min i broke throw and it felt like the clouds clears up and the sun shines down at you. 2 min later my girlfriend tap on my shoulder and ask me if im ready to go home. The next day i did the same thing. And i got the same feeling as it was like fear hiting me. I was thinking i have nothing to fear whats wrong wid me! After focus a few min i break through and a feeling of the sun shining on me and then i focus to let it out through my heart and on to all the people around me. I remember when i was walking home i was thinking it was strange about the fear feeling. 2 days later i whent in to town in this big supermarket. I got a few min to meditate there on a bench. But i faild and gave up after a few times there. I know if i had more time and realy focus i can make it any where! But the strange thing is i starting to think the fear feeling who are hiting me arnt my fear! Its the people around me.

What inspired me was Gregg Braden,Dolores Cannon and ofc Inelia Benz when she told the story of going down and sit next to a girl on a bench to raise the wibration.

1 day i read the news about a political person here in sweden who say that we need to suport the war down in the middle east. I spent the rest of the day meditating and focus my love on him! The next day news he was the funniest political person in the house of power here.
I dont know if some of it was from me.
What do you think??