sexual molestation

[grapevine]

I have noticed in the past few days that several members have mentioned that they were sexually molested as children. Personally I have no memories of such an event, although I think I am in a minority as my sister has vivid memories of being molested at the age of 9 by a 'friend' of the family and these memories have still remained unresearched because of the pain it would bring our parents. I can do nothing about this - it's not my story to tell - all I can do is to be supportive, which I will be with all my heart... Similarly, many relatives and friends have suffered similar crimes when they were children and have remained silent

So it is for them that I thought I would start a thread in case anybody wanted to post their own experiences, or that of a sibling/loved one, and for us all to join in spiritual support and healing for the anger, hurt and betrayal felt.

[shadowstalker]

My grandfather molested me for years even until adulthood (tried to), started when I was 7 or younger, he always made me wear a dress whenever I visited him, a lot i had suppressed cuz I didn't want to remember, my grandmother and him where separated at that time when I was younger (she was catholic, didnt do the divorce thing, so they separated and lived in different houses, but he also had a girlfriend ) To this day I don't where dresses cuz I feel vulnerable in one. I still get the feeling that him and his girlfriend where in on it together, As I grew older and was on my own i started remembering some of things he did to me. When I was 24 and pregnant with my daughter (from my husband) I would have dreams of my grandfather hovering over me (as I was living with both my grandparents at the time) doing things and made me feel helpless , but then I would draw strength and tell him NO leave me alone. When I was getting set to get married and making plans and such He came up to me and grabbed me and shove me onto the couch (while I was pregnant) and told me that i am not to get married, that I belonged to him. (I was 24 at that time) I shoved him back and told him "If you ever touch me again I will cut your balls off while your asleep. I do not belong to you or anyone. And if you go near my daughter I will kill you."

I still have issues talking about it.

But i wrote a poem from when I heard a friend of mine's daughter was molested..

http://www.lulu.com/product/file-download/please-make-him-stop/4450285?productTrackingContext=author_spotlight_905780_

I had to get it out of my head, it was driving me mad with all the bad feelings I was getting from my own memories, reliving it can be very debilitating and scary.
For years he had been in my dreams. so I know for the most part it really does affect a person and their life.

[ktlight]

Shadowstalker, thank you for your revelation. And thank you for your poem. Deeply felt. I hope you have learned to forgive him, and the little girl you knew it was happening to also, if she is old enough to know why.

Young children are also abused with beatings and have to learn to forgive, for the same reason. They know not what they do, otherwise they wouldn't do it. Just self gratification and unrighteous thinking, control freaks.

You never forget once you start remembering and that can cripple you. So to forgive is how to be free.

Bless you.

And thank you W1ndmill for opening this thread.

A friend of mine who is a well-known singer was also molested by her grandfather when she was about 4 or 5 years old. I don't know if she mentioned it in her autobiography.

[shadowstalker]

I have forgiven him, the last time he came into my dreams as he use to visit me while asleep then to. I told him that he is forgiven whether he wanted me to forgive him or not . I told him that it was time for him to go back to his soul group and to try a different lesson to learn. I haven't heard from him since. Our test was complete. But the memories still linger at times when reminded of such things. This does not mean i don't forgive, it just means It's Hard to forget. I don't hate the man for what he had done, I mearly respect the idea of an obsession he had over me.
Maybe he had past life issues with me who knows.

Young children are also abused with beatings
Yes sometimes i would have bruises on me (from him) and have no idea why.

[sandy]

Dear shadowstalker,

Your pain is the reason you have so much compassion. Thank you for enduring to show the way for many who have stopped living due to their pain. Your story and courage will carry many to the place where they too can find some inner peace and freedom just as you have. Much Love :)

[shadowstalker]

dear shadowstalker,

your pain is the reason you have so much compassion. Thank you for enduring to show the way for many who have stopped living due to their pain. Your story and courage will carry many to the place where they too can find some inner peace and freedom just as you have. Much love :)

ty i love u all

[Whiskey_Mystic]

I think that this is something that has touched all of our lives, even when we are not aware of it.

May the healing continue and continue. May all beings be free from suffering. May all beings be at peace.