I have a confession:

[markpierre]

I watched the video of Hillary Clinton in her recent indiscretion, and saw very graphically the cruel face that we've been reading in her for years. Well, no surprise there. It's beyond imagination what those individuals are privately thinking.

But it was later that I saw the videos of Gaddafi captured and the scenes of abuse and sodomy and murder, and I lost my composure. I wonder if Hillary had seen that footage before she exposed herself. I don't know how it is with those minds in their own soul progress, but I know that my own cause and effect are virtually simultaneous. My thoughts are as powerful as my actions, and I suffer accordingly and immediately.

How much 'time' is allowed for the balancing principle we call karma, if that was the purpose of time? There seems to be a consensus now, that 'time' is at an end. The illusions are being exposed. The end of illusions is very near. We're all guilty somehow, if guilt is still a concept that can rule us. By action or by omission.

But this is the confession; I had this great single vengeful wish for Hillary and the whole list of villains from the beginning of the story, to meet with such an end.

So forgive me the image I had of Mussolini and Clara Petacci and the others hanging by their feet from the girder of an Esso gas station. I saw that image as a kid and I'm not sure that I ever recovered. But I was taught that that IS the fate of those who seek power through bloodshed.

Certainly this is more of my own healing. There is no world outside of me that represents me truly. To anyone that feels the same, this world is NOT our home.

I don't know who to apologize to except myself, but I feel a need to apologize for every act of viciousness and vengeance in all of time.
Today my heart is truly broken.

I feel responsible. The 'Passion of Christ' seems no more significant to me than the passion of every life ever ended by cruelty or selfishness or ignorance. I'm not so sure that wasn't his point. Actually, I'm certain that it was.

One way or another the castle will fall. I wonder what 'justice' should look like to minds like that, when I know that true justice is the recognition of innocence. The real truth of us all. And healing and forgiveness to discover that individually.

So what am I trying to say? I'm not sure.

Only that I need to go to this place and look at it. Not until it makes sense to me, because it will never make sense. You can't find meaning in the meaningless. That's all I've ever attempted to do as a human identity.

There was another post I came across where a member was describing feelings of emptiness and hopelessness, and I so appreciated the integrity of those comments and the rounds of members echoing the same. No 'teaching' no 'condolence' no 'good advice'. Just an honest admission that a catharsis is upon us. I do believe I share this awareness with many. If I could find that post again I'd share from it.

And I understand the value and reward of catharsis, but forget the long passage through and beneath conditioning. The long passage through and beneath reason and intellect, then desire, then guilt and anger. Down through hope and into hopelessness. Down to where there is nothing left.

Desolation is when there IS nothing left.

I've been to that place before and it precipitated revelation, even rapture. And I'm aware of so many times since then that I've had opportunities and avoided them.

But in that state of mind. there's nothing left to hide behind. That is where I believe, and in my humble experience, true identity resides. There, must also be the solution. And in that comment I may just be trying to play the hope card again. Self identity is an insidious thing.

We're fully aware that wherever we are, we're not safe from the brutality we're witnessing. We're well aware that the 'Occupations' however it impacts the collective mind, can and probably will turn ugly as the establishment draws itself up against it, or attempts to use it to it's benefit. We're all aware that 'they' can initiate WW3 without announcement. We're aware that with a push of a button the earth can be ravaged by bombs or earth changes. They WILL attempt to have their way, there is no other way out for them. There is no regard for consequences.

I'm not trying to make a statement in this, I'm just voicing my own experience of this moment in time. I've been going through continual and increasingly rapid waves of extreme discomfort and changes in my physical and emotional 'self' for the past few years, along with the consequent relief of passing through them. It's a clear intensification of my entire tenure here in this lifetime, and the lives that I can remember. I have it fairly well organized in my mind of what's occurring for me individually, and it's not much consolation. It really just raises more questions that I have no energy to address. I know all the stories, I know all the teachings. Am I a Son of God? Or a son of man? That means nothing to me right now. This is here and now.

What I'm guessing this post is, is just a need to announce to 'the world', whatever that consists of, that I need for this to end.

[CdnSirian]

Mark Pierre I hear you. There is no "over there". It happens in our hearts. Je suis desolee. Our sorrow is great.

[Bright Garlick]

I feel similar Mark. We are all one. No us and them.
Loving kindness for Hilary's ignorance !

[another bob]

"We are the creators and creatures of each other,
causing and bearing each other's burden."

~Sri Nisargadatta


Blessings!

[Anchor]

Certainly this is more of my own healing. There is no world outside of me that represents me truly. To anyone that feels the same, this world is NOT our home.

I don't know who to apologize to except myself, but I feel a need to apologize for every act of viciousness and vengeance in all of time.
Today my heart is truly broken.

Your entire post is moving.

The lines I quoted, strikes me as the core of the challenge.

Its a massive shift when one starts to realize that WE are in a very real sense totally connected with what is going on.

I think the world outside us does represent the world inside us, and we dont like the idea that we are capable of such things.

What you are doing "apologizing" is a massive gesture - I feel that.

Each thing we see teaches us.

Although, intellectually one can conclude that as connected, co-creators, responsibility for everything is shared, that does not mean that the weight of the world rests on your shoulders.

As we are recognizing our parts in the oneness in which we are linked, we might act as you do.

And it hurts when we realize that some of those things are very messed up.

It takes a great deal of courage and honesty to face this fact down.

And then further, in seeing this from an abstract position whereby all has a purpose, all has a balance, those who have only love of self, and those who have love for others - we all have our places and parts to play in this co-created thing.

We are imbued with seriously good "instrumentation" for our missions here in this particular but very small part of the universe.

That instrumentation is working for you. It does however cause pain.

A pain that cannot be ignored.

From what I have seen in this post and others I think you are like me. You are a wanderer.

You are what may be called one of the "brothers and sisters of sorrow".

We came here to help.

There is much to be sorrowful about.

But, then again the sun rises on a new day, the birds sing, the grass grows, the flowers bloom..

The wind blows. The refreshing rain falls.

Life goes on, in its odd and convoluted mix of harmony and chaos, of order and distortion of order.

See some of the good things from time to time - hold on to those and expand them. We are given templates of all that is good in nature.

All is not yet lost!

Every new mind/body/spirit that starts to commune with their souls - as you have, eventually starts to realize that actually we can do this - and we will.

You, me and any others among us that know what I am talking about know that eventually, we will bring the world of our dreams into being.

A world of harmony.

A world of pristine vitality and purity.

One that will shine as a beacon of all that is of beauty, joy, happiness, love and light in the universe, having expelled all that is not of its true nature.

That is why we are here.

That is why, when people like you are down, you need to be helped up.

[markpierre]

* Although, intellectually one can conclude that as connected, co-creators, responsibility for everything is shared, that does not mean that the weight of the world rests on your shoulders.

* Every new mind/body/spirit that starts to commune with their souls - as you have, eventually starts to realize that actually we can do this - and we wil

*A world of pristine vitality and purity.

One that will shine as a beacon of all that is of beauty, joy, happiness, love and light in the universe, having expelled all that is not of its true nature.

That is why we are here.

Thank you Anchor, that was helpful and truly beautiful in it's entirety.

I've never been able to get my head around the concept of 'co-creation'. I have to question whether my self identification has that power, and that aspect of me certainly doesn't want the responsibility. If it's true, then 'look at what we've made'. And I don't want to share that responsibility either. It multiplies the offense more than diffuses it.

I have had the blessing of experiencing a state of mind that although was still a perceptual experience, revealed a world that co-exists with this. It looks the same, but has nothing whatever to do with things as they appear. It is as you described it. I think Jesus in ACIM gives a perfect description of what I experienced, and calls it "The Real World". And I know that it's within me always, not without. But there again, the onus is on me.

I lived my life believing that the light of God was in every human being, because I could see it and communicate to it, and it would largely respond. But there were some encounters where the light was not distinguishable, or seemed entirely absent. Maybe I've been blessed or protected from an idea that might seem too much to bare. But I still believe that even Hitler is somewhere safe, pondering his position. As in the movie 'Bram Stoker's Dracula', even Vlad returns to Heaven.

[Davidallany]

The question is can one stay the course when faced with a storm? There is always some kind of test at every corner one reaches, before proceeding further.

[Anchor]

The question is can one stay the course when faced with a storm? There is always some kind of test at every corner one reaches, before proceeding further.

Well, here is one take on it: http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?26148-Be-in-the-eye-of-the-storm-

Be in the eye of the storm.

As the chaos and forces swirl in the quickening pace of changes about you, recognize the space of peace in which your conscious being stands untouched.

As the danger looms, see how you step and move yourself in the glorious dance of cosmic synchronicity which arranges everything as if by magic so that you mysteriously avoid the "slings and arrows" and remain able to function, to help, to heal those who have been caught more strongly in the illusion.

Draw those who resonate with you to your quiet spaces so you can share the calm that you now are become, in quiet, compassionate, observance of the accelerated drama whipping around you.

See about you the changing and reordering of our existence as we go through ever increasing and accelerating waves of destruction and creation.

Realize that the new world that we want, purged of its former imbalances and selfishly motivated few who cause so much damage to the many, is being built.

We will have this new world, but it will not be the new world order of the elite, it will be the ordered world of a meek and peaceful mankind who will inherit it as was formerly told.

It will be a world of harmony. It will be a world of illuminated understanding, of absolute and total individual responsibility. It will be purified in the love and in the light of our own beings and our own roles of the one infinite creator.

We are humans becoming, help us become.

They are humans becoming, help them become.

I am human becoming, help me become.


Anchor/John..

[9eagle9]

Okay here is concept of co creation or rather how we thwart it or open the door to it.

You're ight you don't want to create something undesireable but Mark given how you reacted to Clinton, I'd say what you are blaming yourself for in the present, was created quite a long time ago.

You are not responsible for Hillary Clinton, her behaviors , her demeanor , her essence, you did not create her. She created her circumstances and perhaps she is the creation of something that is of a replication instead of creation quality. How we support each other is becoming responsible for ourselves. Then supporting others becomes effortless, and unconcsious, you have to make no judgements, or even do anything consciously.

Much of what you are expereincing is on a concious level. An ego struggle, the battle of 'good' and evil' is demonstrated here. It's not external, its in us.

My intial response was that you were self identifying with Clinton. This is very common, you are resonating not with her precisely in bad vibe sort of way but...with something that has occurred and rooted in your near or far past that is similar to it. She's brought it to mind Perhaps what the new agers call past lives. There are no past lives, that a mechanism to keep us identifying with a physical body. There's one life and many bodies.

When we self idenitify with something like you did, Mark, it assumes and takes power, over us. This self idnetification process is very much tied up in what people refer to as Karma, its the result of a past wound. Karma is really just the emo trauma abuse crap we drag from one body to the other and it keeps affecting our vibrational level. It sends a sour note out on our otherwise clear vibration, our energetic output. So things keep occuring in patterns. Until we clean out what is affecting our vibrational out put. Vibrational output is the driver behind co creation. In comparison to it, thoughts are of very little importance. A great deal of importance has been put on thoughts. WE've put the meaning on thoughts. But its really the inner generator that has such a powerful effect. Thoughts are basically a means of attempting to rationalize what we don't understand. That doesn't mean they have much in the way of power or truth in COMPARISON to the inner generator or core vibration.

Basically what I am saying is its not what you are consciously thinking of, its the thoughtforms that you are unware of that matter.

And they may not have been created or corded in this physical experience but perhaps another one. And our mind will play with surface thoughts all day to prevent us from delving in and examining those rooted in thoughtforms that really matter. That's our pain, that's our wound. We share those collectively the ones that done below, not the ones on top.

If we do not begin to examine our invidual wounds we haven't a chance of abating the psychic trauma that was imposed on us at some point in our physical history that caused our fragmentation. Our separation. We chose physical bodies so we could divide enough to keep ourselves from each other to work out **** out because when we were all aware of our connnectedness we were just feeding each others wounds. It's like everyone eating out of the same pot, there's so much chaos going on in the pot with everyone's hand and mouths milling in there we couldn't see the food from the slop. So we were able to retreate into our own physical little shells each of us taking a portion of what is collectively in error, and fixing it on our own. This is HOW we are sharing the burden. Some aren't fixing their **** so...but..free will.

I could think all day why some people eat or drink too much, but at the end of the day my thoughts are not responsible for their over indulgences. What if I rang you up from the other side of the world here and said, "I ate an entire choclate cake and its your fault." You'd think I was barking mad. And you'd be right.

What is responsible for connecting and supporting others is keeping the buried , hidden thoughtforms from affecting our core vibration, by putting a sour note out on it. The crap we took from the collective pot. Let's get it out.

This may sound odd but...it also gives us, you, all control in the world over what we call karma. There was nothing in that pot that was every ours, it was what was fed to us, what was imposed on us.


When we apologize for the existence of that which we had no participation in, we reduce ourselves. They now have more value than that which attempted to create itself in a meaningful productive way that perpertrates creation. In this world we are very much creating ourselves. Let Clinton be responsible for that or....perhaps who ever created her. It is becomign increasingly clear that many of these elite power structures are inhabited by entites that are not human. They may have a human form, but where it counts , they aren't. We can do nothing for them, therefore we can do nothing to them good, bad, or indifferent except keeping them from effecting us.

Rationally speaking Clinton and her collective there has done more damage on her own without your awareness, than your fit of angst. So basically while I understand your angst, I'm not going to affect me because I understand it. Therefore you have done nothing to me. You haven't harmed me. You may be harming yourself though.

They know that humans have a hard time differentiating between responsiblity and blame. If you push the responsiblity of Clinton off on to where it belongs, Not blame, but responsibility, we can't be ensnared in their mindtraps.

Think about that word though. Blame is one thing but the word responsible is really about how we respond. Blame ,which we direct at our selves or each other, is a reaction and Response is somethning entirely more healthy. One we don't have much control over and the other is something that gives us control or rather co creation.

[9eagle9]

And...i just recently noted this on another thread. The orgins of confession are not with the Catholic Church, they corrupted the concept but they didn't create it. It was ameans of clearing one's field of undesireable thoughtforms to sort of express it to others. So that a person had more productive co creation process.

Confession was then of course corrupted to become a means of THEIR co creation, their control.

Confession may not be good or necessary for the soul, but it certainly allows it ot express in the 3d world more productively.

[Unified Serenity]

Be careful that your words do not get construed as a threat by someone in the gubbment and you become a guest of homeland security for the foreseeable future without a right to a hearing or trial. They are watching.

[9eagle9]

That's already happened here to me personally and those expereinces taught me how powerful I am.

How scared of us that they are and how easily they are kicked out of our personal space, cause they never came calling again.

In keeping yourself in alignment you become our own personal homeland security. I have woke up with strange men in my room, if that is indeed what they were, because it didn't give a signature of humanity but one's natural expresion comes to the surface...?. They don't have a chance. Mind I don't go looking for trouble but I have no qualms if they are dumb enough to attempt that again. And that showed me how ignorant they are of our potential.

That's where I really really wish that I could help to get people to that state. I'm not sure its possible and it certainly wont be if it were just up to me, people have the right to make their own choices, and if I imposed what I know on people it would make me as much an abuser as that which is currently oppressing us. But it is possible , its just not possible when one is alone in the doing.



Be careful that your words do not get construed as a threat by someone in the gubbment and you become a guest of homeland security for the foreseeable future without a right to a hearing or trial. They are watching.

[Cartomancer]

This is a tough one. In many ways those in control are gambling on our complacency and lack of will to make things change. They know we have all been taught not to harm other people but it seems skippy for them to to it whenever they want. When I was a kid if you told me our country would be torturing people and killing on the scale of Iraq and Afghanistan then I would have thought you were crazy. Now I just hang my head and wonder. Like an idiot I thought after the Berlin wall fell that we could try and forge a utopia instead they immediately started with the NWO b.s.

I was talking to a fairly conservative man the other day and he was stating that it would only take the "elimination" of about two thousand people in this world to change things. I do not in any way shape or form condone this but I heard what he is saying. This is how things happen to people like Mussolini and Ghadafi. They outlive their usefulness and they are gone. There has been a definite uptick online in people at least talking about "hang the rich" and guillotine them all etc. and it is very disturbing. I say Gandhi not guns.

[Anchor]

"I ate an entire choclate cake and its your fault."

Yes, but I bet it helped to try to blame it on someone :) Was it nice though? I bet you loved it!

I find when I over indulge in something, I feel that I need to apologize to my body :)

--

A couple of months ago, I had an minor accident with my tractor as I was removing the mower deck and punctured the transmission filter case - with the result that several litres of transmission oil were spilled into the ground in a field.

Apart from turning the air blue cursing my stupidity and carelessness, I was also like "sorry sorry sorry" to the ground and the earth because I know how long it takes it to break up that kind of oil.

There is something unbalanced and wrong with this picture that I cant put my finger on.

I know it was my fault

I know I am responsible

I felt bad

but I refuse to feel guilty

but I was very sorry.

(I think she forgave me, and the grass grew back really fast).

When I am tackling these kind of conundrums, I normally start from a position of "there are no mistakes, everything has a purpose".

And if that is true, (and I think it is) then it really just boils down to accountability and responsibility.

And thats how I think it should be.

I wont take the blame for others screw ups, but I accept my part of the co-creation, and that this will mean a response may be necessary according to the dictates of my own heart.

[christian]

To regain your composure, keep remembering the fundamental:

To confront evil with evil means to perpetuate it. If you want to end evil, you have to start within yourself.

What's more important? Taking revenge or ending evil?

[jorr lundstrom]

markpierre. There are no law of karma. Its just old mens way to control once again.
You will never harvest wot you deserve or wot you think you deserve based on your
actions. I fyou buy into it, of course you will bounce around in that box, but the box
is of your own making. And of course if you like to wip yourself by this, feel free to
do so, its a free will universe.

http://i600.photobucket.com/albums/tt81/sakasvattaja/electrichane010.jpg

[Whiskey_Mystic]

It is true that there is no law of karma. Just as there is no law of the ocean. And, like the ocean, karma simply balances itself. It does not judge, reward, or punish. It simply balances.

[markpierre]

To regain your composure, keep remembering the fundamental:

To confront evil with evil means to perpetuate it. If you want to end evil, you have to start within yourself.

What's more important? Taking revenge or ending evil?


Hey you guys are all great.

Of course today is different. And tomorrow will be different again. And the next day and the next. It's like traveling through Hell with Dante and Virgil. I must reread that.

I don't think maintaining 'composure' is necessarily the objective, I think perhaps unfiltered honesty is more appropriate. At times I just 'find myself' above the battlefield, a stoic observer and I question how much actual work is being done in those moments. All these years isolated from the lower chakras, 'composure' is all too normal and unproductive. You can't correct judgements that are hidden from you. For me at least. But those moments now are as random and spontaneous as the dips into the recesses. Every morning I step out onto the balcony and ask the rising sun 'what's on offer for today? because it's a serious issue! I can usually tell by then, but I need to put out the question. I don't want to miss anything.

The concept of 'co-creation' gets muddied up with all the conversation about 'manifestation'. Can you 'manifest' a good day? Of course. Big deal. Can you manifest your desires from a conscious level? Of course. What do you want and why? I want to return to Heaven, whatever that takes. And I don't mean death. It's not much use to listen to another ego assert that the 'ego must die'. This ego already knows that. Can I manifest my awakening from a conscious level? No. I need help. I need companions and comrades to nurse me through it. I need the energy from the sun and the black hole to restructure me.
Maybe I need the Aliens to remind me personally of the depth and antiquity of all these agreements, I don't know. It all occurs in a realm that I am completely unaware of apart from the concepts and conversations. I only experience the effects of it. I am not a 'cause' of anything apart from illusions. A participant apparently. Reluctantly? That's how it feels. The world of human activity is pure utter nonsense to me.

Hey it looks the way it looks, and I'm not going to argue with it. It's all seemingly exactly true to the script because something massive is happening in me, and everywhere I look. I don't like the way it looks and feels at the moment. Maybe Armageddon wasn't just an allegory for my own resurrection. I can't seem to escape into the stillness lately, I can't seem to transcend anything any more. I just have to be honest about it.

Thanks to all you guys for joining me in this.

[Samsara]

I don't know who to apologize to except myself, but I feel a need to apologize for every act of viciousness and vengeance in all of time.
Today my heart is truly broken.

I feel your sorrow and confusion. I sometimes find myself there too. I won't give up, if you don't give up.

Love is the only answer.

:angel:

[markpierre]

I don't know who to apologize to except myself, but I feel a need to apologize for every act of viciousness and vengeance in all of time.
Today my heart is truly broken.

I feel your sorrow and confusion. I sometimes find myself there too. I won't give up, if you don't give up.

Love is the only answer.

:angel:

Okay! It's a deal!

Just plain and simple no more bargaining 'Hang in there'. If we're stuck with it, it's better to be in good company, eh?

[mosquito]

MarkPierre - I hear you brother, your response to this horror is perfectly natural.

I've deliberately avoided all the photos and other "news", as much as is possible, as I find it all nauseating, but over the last few days I've had the strong feeling that I'd love Obama, Clinton, Bush, Blair etc to realise that the same fate they've dished out to their, now inconvenient, former buddies awaits them !

I'm not saying I'll have a hand in it, but I sure as hell won't get in the way of anyone who wishes to deliver justice.

But I'm not going to apologise for my thoughts and feelings, doiung that would lend credence to the bastards' beleif that they can control us.

I'd like to make a suggestion, I may be wrong, but what if all the violence and cruelty in the world is happening because we are unable to accept aggresion and confrontation as part of our psychic make-up ?
The adage that what you suppress grows stronger is certainly true on an inner level and on a physical level, what if it were also true on a global consciousness level ?

[markpierre]

Hey mariposafe

I don't know that it was about that particular incident, that was one of a long list ranging from the time I could understand that an image of a face in a magazine represented a real person in a real situation. Empathic people often involuntarily take on those experiences as though they were occurring to them. A valuable gift with a huge cost. I can facilitate healing by joining with a photo, it's the same principle. The apology is really something more like a pang of regret for having ever participated in this human experiment or whatever it is.

You and I both, we've seen some far more horrific things in our travels through time. But I'm pretty certain that wherever it is I originally came from, we don't do things like that there. Where does an idea like a peaceful world come from? It didn't come from our education here.

The image of some enraged rioter shoving a trowel handle up Dick Cheney's rear end probably wouldn't be the trigger I would have needed to take me where ever I needed to go yesterday. Hillary is just a moron, that's mostly forgivable. But there's nothing that s#its me more than a smug moron.

But I think you may be on to something in a sense in your suggestion, because I know this for myself. I don't actively change in regard to things that are undesirable, until the effects become absolutely intolerable to me personally. So as you can imagine, I've found myself in a fair few excruciating situations. On a global scale, that could look pretty messy.

[meeradas]

I can't seem to escape into the stillness lately, I can't seem to transcend anything any more. I just have to be honest about it.

Bro, my own 'lately' is close to a decade now. Been trottin' the desert (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?32428-Get-ready-for-Earth-changes&p=331050#post331050) for far too long already.
Still:
Hangin' in there with ya.

Cheers!

[natasja]

Aristotle taught us there is a black and white there is wrong and right and if they are not with us they must be against us, our mission is to learn the middle path to love unconditionally and not to judge but to learn to love and to live ≈eulogew!

[Dawn]

What can I say. It is all that way on this planet and has been for as long as we can remember. When shown a movie of a coyote chasing a hare and eventually catching and eating it, 97% of the viewers identify with the hare. Only 3% or less identify with the coyote. Most people resonate with the victim roles, very few resonate with the hunter role.

It isn't just Hillary, it is 1000s of soldiers who chose to fight because they love to kill, maim, and rape. It is policeman who love being armed to the teeth because they can mutilate suspects, when they can do it in secret. It is a cat who plays with a mouse for hours, before eating the battered and bloody body. It is the praying mantis eating her mate. It is the dog mauling and torturing the neighbor child. And... well you get the idea.

It isn't just humanity. And down through the ages the PTB had been bloody almost beyond belief. Kings have killed their queens when they couldn't bear children. Kings have killed their brothers. Kings and emperors have beheaded and tortured millions of their subjects. And princess Di was murdered in plain sight of us all. Hillary is just one in a long line of the viscous and bloody ruling class.

And if you eat meat, the animal you are consuming died in pain. And if you are eating plants, the studies show they also feel pain and fear.

The entire planet is about birth and death, and life consuming itself. It is everywhere.

And, yes... eventually it came down, for me, to simply living. And that means feelings come up all the time. However most of them have gotten more porous as I have worked with them over such a long time. But when a lot of emotional energy comes up there is nothing to do but experience it. So wonderful to hear your refreshing honesty. You sound full of life.