Fear of the dark.. in search of suggestions to get over it.

[Words of Joy]

Hi all,

Ever since I was a little boy I've been afraid of walking/being in the dark. When I was about 9 years old I read a book with unsolved mysteries and such. In it was also a story of a man who was pushed downstairs, while no-one was there to push him. Since of then I never felt fully secure in the dark. The thought of a ghost physically touching me or doing me harm stirs up anxiety. I have been trying to train myself by leaving lamps of while going to bed, so I can get used to it, but I don't. I have never had an event in which I thought a ghost had touched me and though I'm convinced that will never happen, the anxiety stays within.

I was wondering if more people still have such anxieties and if anyone has suggestions of how to get rid of those feelings.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_rMt0M-ndko4/TJz-GGRqtmI/AAAAAAAAEAg/OvAZ-hoF13w/s1600/there's+a+ghost+in+my+bedroom+(Medium).jpg

[mahalall]

feelings are sensations and to sensations one reacts with craving or aversion. If one can't observe the sensation with equanimity on the understanding that it will change it's composition then a whole array of techniques have been designed to help alleviate the situation, from jumping on one foot wearing a pair of green and black underpants on your head (such advice can be costly) or i find when such grossness is overwhelming mantra and visualisation can help. It can be anything that is easy for the mind to grasp and body vibration that allows you to detach from the subject. Remember though to learn to whisper it. This is because it can become embarrassing as i learnt when my working collegues heard me repeating the lyrics to dancing queen by Abba.

[Adrian86]

Here is a video by Sudevi that is right on topic.

Kali Darshan: Turn Fear of the Dark into a Spiritual Technique!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCSu2ql3cWQ&feature=channel_video_title

[Words of Joy]

Here is a video by Sudevi that is right on topic.

Kali Darshan: Turn Fear of the Dark into a Spiritual Technique!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCSu2ql3cWQ&feature=channel_video_title

Thank you. I will watch the video when I get home this evening, after I have bought some black and green panties. ;)

[SomaSmith]

Hi Slobbe,

I too had a fear of the dark growing up... Seems like a fairly normal thing. I had silly fears like, I wouldn't let my feet hang off the edge of the bed in fear that the monster underneath would grab them. Things like that.

The anxiety attached to those fears stuck with me well into my early 20's. It was always there in the back of my mind.

A few things helped me overcome. I find the night sky to be one of the most beautiful things to behold. I started by just goung out in the yard alone at night and looking at the stars. Once I became comfortable being alone in my yard, it turned into a walk through one of the fields that join my property. Now I walk for miles in the dark fields and woods near my home or wherever I am. If you can be comfortable in the dark exposed and vulnerable to the outside world... then suddenly the comfort and solitude of your home, even in the dark, will have a new feel.

The other thing is just coming to the understanding that we are surrounded by "spirits", entities, life of some sort all of the time. If they really wanted to harm you they would. Not much you can do about it. Does having a light on really truly protect you from them? Or is it just a false sense of security?

I wish you the best!!! Fear helps nothing but those that feed on it. ;-)

Soma

[ulli]

Here is a video by Sudevi that is right on topic.

Kali Darshan: Turn Fear of the Dark into a Spiritual Technique!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCSu2ql3cWQ&feature=channel_video_title

Thank you. I will watch the video when I get home this evening, after I have bought some black and green panties. ;)

...and after you have decided to sell your soul to Kali.

One thing to remember about the darkness...the beings that float there are very scared of anyone who is strong and courageous.
Why not use them as an excercise machine to develop your own being? Courage can be built, just like muscles.

[wolf_rt]

I am rather fond of the 'Litany against fear' from Frank Herberts 'Dune' series

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

[Words of Joy]

...and after you have decided to sell your soul to Kali.


What exactly do you mean by this? I just read that 'Kali, the Great Mother Goddess of the Hindu tradition, is the Source, the One that gives birth to All'. But I don't see what your intention is by saying that.

[Words of Joy]

A few things helped me overcome. I find the night sky to be one of the most beautiful things to behold. I started by just goung out in the yard alone at night and looking at the stars. Once I became comfortable being alone in my yard, it turned into a walk through one of the fields that join my property. Now I walk for miles in the dark fields and woods near my home or wherever I am. If you can be comfortable in the dark exposed and vulnerable to the outside world... then suddenly the comfort and solitude of your home, even in the dark, will have a new feel.


You know, I've been in the army for 9 years and I've been in many woods also in the dark and also by my self. I've had anxious moments but also long periods of confidence being out in the dark. It's been a while though and now it's just the homely routine when I go to sleep. It's the last anxiety i'm working on to getting rid off. I don't have a garden and I live in the city, but your suggestion is something I can work with. Thanks.

[ulli]

...and after you have decided to sell your soul to Kali.


What exactly do you mean by this? I just read that 'Kali, the Great Mother Goddess of the Hindu tradition, is the Source, the One that gives birth to All'. But I don't see what your intention is by saying that.

My intention is to get people to double check their sources.
How do you know that what you read there is true?
Old Testament people also believed that their One God was the ultimate source.
While there are clashing claims it might be a good idea to keep an open mind.
The search for the real Source must continue...

[lake]

Hi Slobbe, when you feel anxious, consider the thoughts which are creating this feeling.

Then ask you self why your mind would wish to harm you by having these thoughts?
There is only 1 answer, it wouldn't!

Therefore you have to accept that all negative thoughts and feelings which arise in you are not of your manufacture.

(Personally I believe that around 60-70% of the thoughts I use to have were not of me. Now they come vastly less and I can quickly grab them and put them in the trash! )

Its a bit like some one poking you with a sharp stick, grab the stick, own it, turn it round and poke them back.
You can do this by knowing that the thought/feeling has been put on you to create fear, it was not your thought/feeling, so you have freewill not to accept or act on it.

Also they HATE being laughed at! :cool:

[Words of Joy]

My intention is to get people to double check their sources.
How do you know that what you read there is true?
Old Testament people also believed that their One God was the ultimate source.
While there are clashing claims it might be a good idea to keep an open mind.
The search for the real Source must continue...

Offcourse double-checking sources is a good thing. Though I am asking for suggestions to get rid of the anxiety.
In history there have been countless recorded accounts of entities/ghosts/spirits manifesting in reality, in whatever way.
So for me there is no reason to believe that it is impossible that the account mentioned in the book indeed occured.
And even if the account didn't happen, it doesn't matter to me, because I am convinced it is possible. Maybe that's the problem, i don't know.

[ulli]

My intention is to get people to double check their sources.
How do you know that what you read there is true?
Old Testament people also believed that their One God was the ultimate source.
While there are clashing claims it might be a good idea to keep an open mind.
The search for the real Source must continue...

Offcourse double-checking sources is a good thing. Though I am asking for suggestions to get rid of the anxiety.
In history there have been countless recorded accounts of entities/ghosts/spirits manifesting in reality, in whatever way.
So for me there is no reason to believe that it is impossible that the account mentioned in the book indeed occured.
And even if the account didn't happen, it doesn't matter to me, because I am convinced it is possible. Maybe that's the problem, i don't know.

And I did respond by pointing you in the direction of developing your own courage.
But maybe that part of my post went unnoticed?

[Words of Joy]

And I did respond by pointing you in the direction of developing your own courage.
But maybe that part of my post went unnoticed?

Au controeur ma soeur. I noticed it and considered it, and it is appreciated. thank you. :yo:

[crosby]

from my own personal experience, i suffered terrible fear in any dark place from a very young age; i found that the source of my fear actually came from my childhood. it has taken a long time for me to overcome this fear. and sometimes, i revert back to the dark abyss. it is a struggle. and i am still working on kicking the fear completely. in the past, for example, if i were home alone and i heard some unnatural noise, i would instantly turn on all the lights and check out every room, closet, etc. but, if i were home and there are others at home as well and i heard something, i would usually never respond in any manner. now, if i'm home and i hear something, i don't pay too much attention to it unless it continues. sometimes i think i have a little poltergeist hanging around.... a teaser....... if i find myself becoming fearful of something i cannot see, i visualize a lot of light surrounding me. it really does help. it gives my body the time it needs to break down the situation and figure it out instead of thinking instantly that something bad is about too happen. i hope you can overcome your fear. like i said, i'm still working on mine.
regards, corson

[Lifebringer]

Mom used to say it's not the dead that will get you but the walking talking live ones that come after you. LOL all jokes aside, I had that problem and I started when swimming going underwater with my eyes closed and then gradually sitting in the room as the sun goes down with the lights off. Once your eyes get used to adjusting to the darkness, you'll be able to see in corners if you open your eyes at night to check. When you get tired of breaking your rest, then you will realize if anything in the dark was gonna get you, they sure had plenty of time to do so, and then you'll sleep knowing you haven't done any harm to anyone, so why expect it to come back on you. Get some sleep and you'll see.

[another bob]

Greetings, Friend!

Just remember that whatever appears is mind -- iow, a conditioned and conditional fantasy of interpretation on perception. It is you who grant any of it some particular reality or not.

When I was about 6 yers old, I tested this hypothesis. My parents had left me home alone for the first time, and were now late getting back from wherever they had gone. It had gotten dark outside, and I was doing OK until I suddenly felt compelled to go to the door leading down to the basement. Something powerful seemed to be beckoning me behind that door, almost daring me to go down the stairs in the darkness.

Part of me was horrified, sensing a vague malevolence, but I just knew I had to do it, and so rather than farting around, I plunged on down to face whatever it was. And yes, it was monstrous, and I was so terrified my teeth were chattering and I was falling into a cold sweat swoon.

Suddenly I realized that there was an element of the whole experience that was . . . thrilling and . . . exhilerating. I then realized that I could switch back and forth from terror to excitement, and that both states were my own projection. It was up to me, how I perceived things, not the other way around.

When this insight struck me, I became calm and relaxed, and the cool peace of the basement darkness, empty of any threat or reason for concern, revealed itself to me as the actual state. Moments later, the garage door suddenly opened and I was greeted by the headlights of my parents' car. They rushed out and asked me if anything was wrong, and I said, "No, everything's fine!"

:yo:

[ljwheat]

Hay Slobbe, I also went threw a lot of over thinking my fears of things that moved in the dark, real or just my thoughts didn’t matter, a buddy of mine in grade school helped me a lot by staying with me as a sleep over in a tree fort a few nights no sleep, -- just up guys talk--you know, jokes, desiccations about stuff like the dark and how silly we were, but alone it took on a new face. But would remember when I was with someone I was ok.

But practicing, --stepping out on my own in the dark getting used to it. a lot of my understanding about these feeling went away threw facing them head on over and over again.

This clip illustrates what to do when your alone and fear arises just start farting in the wind and your fears will drift away along with the smell. LOL If you can replace the thought from fear to ----a next time think of something else any thing , like this video, doing it in public not good. :embarassed: But when you need it the most, let go of a good one, and watch the buggy man run. The main point is when alone, when fear happens ---- is to do what ever it takes to get the mind off running in another direction.

Please don’t take offence - this is only how I whistle in the dark- lol - enjoy :drum: PlX81le7jAo Play this on a MP3 player next time out in the woods loop it, to play over and over. till you can do it on your own,. eating the corect foods will help also. learn to stay away from seriouse thinking. and good luck whistling in the night. Namaste my friend. John :usa2:

[mahalall]

Hi Slobbe,
Taking off sardonically designed underpants,

There are many friends who can help. Two of my personnal best friends are Ujjayi and Anapana.
Ujjayi is a real warrior and he cuts the demons down with a sword and Anapana well he hugs the ghosts.

good luck

http://www.yogawiz.com/articles/79/yoga-breathing-pranayama/ujjayi-pranayama.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anapanasati

[Words of Joy]

Thank you all so much for taking the time to put your friendly suggestions in writing. It's greatly appreciated and by now I have a whole arsenal of methods to get rid of the fear.

As a token of my appreciation I send you tulips from Holland!

http://desicolours.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/tulips-of-holland26.jpg

[Nanoo Nanoo]

Know thy self

N
N

[PathWalker]

I suggest hypnotherapy. The therapist could ask you, when and how you obtained this fear. And then ask you how to clear it. You will have all the answers.

Good job
Good luck
Joy and happiness
PathWalker

[TargeT]

Know thy self

N
N

to expand on this, Know and realize YOUR own personal power and authority; learn to control that inner monologue (ego), use tools if you must (visualizations etc..) be the best person you know how to be and REALISE that you are doing it. this self confidence (knowledge) will cause fears (of anything) to become just a sensation to be noted and ignored.

I personally (and now mostly out of habit) perform shielding visualizations and power gathering visualizations at night as I go to sleep, I suppose you could call it a form of meditation but really once you come into knowing your self and your own abilities baseless fears are easily overcome.

[danwa]

There is no darkness, just absence of light to differing degrees, but never a complete absence. Your energy is light, project your energy and you will never find yourself in the dark.

[DNA]

I love your picture. It is my experience, that in the dark your third eye can more clearly see what is really there. As such it is not the dark that we are afraid of, but what we are capable of seeing in the dark that frightens us. I discuss using this to one's advantage here. How To See A Ghost For Your Self (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?21695-How-To-See-A-Ghost-For-Your-Self)

Good Luck :)

[doyle]

Dont know if this helps but i too used to fear the dark as a child as i used to see faces and figures in everything i gazed at,this fear left as i grew up as youd expect but recently resurfaced mainly due to my waking up and educating myself that we are surrounded by all manor of energies and entities (not all good)
it got to the point where i couldnt sleep and suffered mild anxiety attacks in bed keeping me awake also i used to run along the landing after nipping to the loo in the middle of the night i could nt even close my eyes to meditate for a short while because i thought evil entities would be watching over me
now ive fully cured myself by seeing it as a test i would put myself into situations i dont like just to beat them i would casually stroll down the landing,stop hold my arms aloft and say
(come on then!)
i saw all this returning as part of my waking up its a perfect way to learn how to master your own thoughts and not let them control you when your the master nothing can hold you back as every you perceive in the world has to be filtered through your thoughts once you can control that process you can turn anything around to your advantage, i just saw it all as a game and now find it funny
there are enough things in the world to worry about without worrying about things you cant see its the ultimate paradox you are literally scared of nothing!
good luck i know you can do it

[Nanoo Nanoo]

I have experienced less fear the better i know myself. The more i listen to my inner stories and make conclusions for them, the less fearful of darkness i am. Resolution breeds confidence and confidence can let you see in the dark :-)

I guess its only by experiencing things first hand you can get a clearer picture of whats not there. What things look like and what they are are sometimes verry different.

This is why they say

Know thy self
Have no fear
Walk with love

If you are set upon by a spirit, which i guess is most peoples fear, all you need to do is be calm like a cucumber, smile and send it love or a blessing. The only way to be cool as a cucumber is to know your reactions and detect them before they happen. In order to do that you have to know your self, then have no fear through understanding experience.

Be brave, its fun :-)

Hugs

N
N

[Ernie Nemeth]

When I was six my youngest sister came into the world. I was moved out of my bedroom and dad and me built a bedroom for me in the basement.

I was petrified down there by myself. I used to pull my covers over my head and dread looking out for fear of seeing something sinister in the dark. I used to wake up in a panic most every night and yell screaming for my mom. They got sick of rushing down the stairs to comfort me so they bought me a dog to keep me company - a black lab (beautiful dog!). I still had some fear though so I realized I'd have to deal with it. At night, I'd have to turn off the light at the top of the basement stairs because there was no switch at the bottom of the steps. I used to switch off the light (mom insisted because of the electric bill) and rush down the stairs in terror. Many times I tripped on the way down I was in such a hurry. So to train myself I'd force myself to walk slowly down the stairs in the dark. It was scary but as time went on I got used to it. I remember I rationalized it by telling myself that if in the light there is nothing there, the same was true in the dark. I held on to that thought in the midst og my fear. Eventually I overcame the fear.

Could you use some similar tactic? Get a dog? Rationalize the fear? Train yourself in small doses. perhaps?

Also, since you are in the military, maybe you could balance the very real fear on the battlefeild of the risk to life and limb with the irrational fear of the unknown in the dark?

Hope you find a way that works for you.