songsfortheotherkind
28th March 2012, 07:59
otherwise known as it isn't all love and light out here in this part of the 'Verse...
(This is the post that I'm making while I'm working on an epic installment of My Life Before and After The Anunnaki, part lebenty seven, which I have decided will probably be going up on my website with a link here, rather than posting it in entirety. I'm undecided. It's early morning here. I'm still waking up properly, behold my magnificent bed hair.)
I feel compelled to start this post with a heap of caveats. This post is not intended to rebut the perspectives and position of other individuals- I live with the principles of Sui Generis, I'm passionate about multiple perspectives and viewing points for the hologram.
The following was written while listening to this music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyY1nKTN9NU
This post has been inspired purely from my *own* perspective of my particular viewing point of the hologram. I'm putting it out there as a representative of a different point of view, not to create dissonance or controversy, and to explore certain concepts and language parameters that may be different to other individuals.
I was reading some of the recent upbeat threads about love, particularly those that talk about 'unconditional love' and I realised I was getting a little headtilty over them because I have a very different experience of those words and concepts. I couldn't in all honesty contribute to the threads as a result, because I respect the Sui Generis perspective of all the posters and because I had the sneaking suspicion that my different perspective might be considered to be a bit of a wet blanket by some. So here I am setting my blanket up somewhere else. :)
I do not understand the ubiquitous use of the word 'love'. I have yet to have anyone explain it in such a way that translates exactly into what another Being means; I've had many partners and they didn't have the same experience of 'love' either, which often led to some interesting and heated exchanges at times (before I got the underlying complexity of subjective language use, the heated is much less these days and generally over vastly different things).
I honestly have very little clue as to what individuals are meaning when they use the word, particularly in reference to other Beings, which is why as a point of reference it's useless to me. What does an individual mean when they say 'love'? What is the foundation of understanding for 'love' on this forum? Given that, what does unconditional love mean?
I've heard many individuals talk about unconditional love; frequently the ideas of 'turn the other cheek' and other such philosophies are put forward to illustrate the concepts the speaker is trying to convey. Personally I've experienced these philosophies as being the fertile soil on which abusers base their insidious and difficult to track behaviours.
I am NOT suggesting that such are on this board, nor am I suggesting that anyone espousing unconditional love is secretly an abuser. What I *am* saying is that I have found the 'turn the other cheek', meekly accepting the behaviours of others, etc etc to be a potent weapon in the hands of the dodgy: I was raised by an abusive fundamentalist christian who would espouse the virtues of 'turning the other cheek' as a means of enforcing non-resistance to all her manipulative, violent, passive aggressive, psychotic and destructive behaviours, none of which she took responsibility for.
'Unconditional love'- what is that? The word- unconditional- means love without conditions, yes? Aren't boundaries conditions? How can a healthy love-be it towards Self or another individual- be without boundaries? Is it being suggested that love without boundaries is a useful and desirable goal? How can one have both an expansive and respectful love towards one's Self and have no boundaries with others? What is actually being expressed in this concept?
I have a different take on 'love'. For a start, to me love is a verb, a word of action, a way of expressing and demonstrating the true landscape that the individual in front of me inhabits within me, not the one that I sometimes might like to convince my Self they inhabit. This inspires me to honesty- sometimes experienced as blunt, or rudeness, or uncaring- and yet if I lie about my feelings or try to use a global term to slide out from beneath the responsibility of paying attention to what I'm really feeling and then living into that, then things become distorted and painful, either quickly or slowly, depending on the connection.
I don't do unconditional love. As I've said, it's not a concept I understand. What I experience as being akin to the idea of unconditional is non-judgement. To me, non-judgement is not without conditions; it simply has no load at all, no energy aimed at those who may intentionally cross the borders. Unconditional to me demands that there be no boundaries or conditions, while non-judgemental says something very different; if I express a boundary to you and you cross it, then that will alter our relationship because I'm honoring my Self, not because I'm judging *you*.
I have experienced many Welcome to the World of Bizarro conversations with individuals who insisted that my maintaining a personal boundary was a judgement of them; that if I was truly non-judgemental I'd be simply accepting their behaviours and sitting there taking their crap, regardless. It's an interesting tactic of abusers and violaters, one that is early learned and rigorously applied when it serves them to do so; I've learned to slide past those who would use those selfserving logics in such a way as to rob me of my Sui Generis.
Given that this happens, this is why I have developed a different way of expressing and explaining it to others. Sui Generis says 'I am unique, and you are unique; what can be agreed upon is that every individual has the right to their Sui Generis expression, until harm of another is involved'; there is no judgement, no 'I' able to be pointed further than the Self (that is, the subjective experience of 'I' cannot be globalised over the experience of any other individual, because they too have a subjective and unique experience of 'I'). The internal maps that an individual uses to navigate around the universe are recognised as being representative of the universe only in relation to the individual- everything on the map, including 'truth', 'the way things are', meaning, bias, perspective, understanding and all the other elements that make up the way an individual thinks- are only useful for that individual. There is no thought of lifting up the map and trying to put it on top of another Being, or to wave the subjective map in front of another individual and demand that they follow 'the rules' of one's own map. None of that current paradigm folderol would apply.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO7B2fHjH74&feature=results_video&playne
For me, the position of sui generis applies fully up and down the frequency of sentience, no matter where in the frequency the Being is coming from; I need not run judgement towards them, simply allow my Self the choice of where I want to be in regards to their actions. There's no load, no judgement *and no emotion* involved- it's about a principle in action that doesn't require me to engage in a *feeling* way at all.
Is this love? Are principles Love? Love may embrace certain principles but are these always consistent regardless of the individual the love is being expressed towards? If there *are* differences in expression, are those differences considered conditions, or boundaries? If so, is that then not *conditional* love?
I look for expressions and principles that will translate across the multiverse, not just suit a relatively small group of individuals. If it is not actually love that is being suggested, then what is it? And if we can call a thing what it actually is, isn't that more useful and clear?
I do not inhabit a 'Verse wherein things are black and white, distinctly male and female, yin and yang, right and wrong, true and false- if anything, my universe is the one that exists in the line that divides the two poles, the bridge between where everything is shades and tones, wonderful mixes and blends, where gender is a concept that is decided on in the moment, only to be discarded and another exploration taken up in the next, where the exquisite blends of possibility are the art of the Being, in constant motion and expression. I don't live in a 'Verse where 'absolute truths' can be defined, where laws are solid state, where personalities and ideas must be fixed to social understandings and concepts. I don't have fixed laws about good and evil and the 'proper' responses to those- my experience of the universe has demonstrated itself to be simply too complex and shifting for that, no matter how much this irritates the beejums out of some sectors of the population (again, talking *generally*, 'out in the world' sense, NOT making any specific or covert references to any individual or group on this forum. I am talking conceptually and personally). I need a platform that does not rely on my internal experience in order to relate to others consistently.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hi3SL5stfI4
I currently am experiencing a wide range of expressions that I personally describe as various shades of love in me; these are fluid, expansive and contractive, internal moving to the external, dynamic, visceral, moving expressions of something that I am experiencing within my internal landscape. I don't express these things to all Beings, there are infinite subtle variations within each interaction; I have partners and lovers and friends and children that I love and each situation is unique because the Beings are unique and I am unique with them. All these infinite shades of expression and subtleties- how can they be bundled under a single title?
I approach the issue of individual Beings in a way that is expressed in principles that have nothing to do with the emotional field I interact with; there is a foundation upon which the emotional floats and moves but does not dip below. It is from this foundation that all my other actions, in terms of sentient Beings, flows- Sui Generis, I and all Other are unique in every way, including in understanding, expression, perspective- nothing can be taken for granted; and 'do no harm', which embraces the concept of ensuring that harm is not done *to me* as well as by me. The multicolored and auroric field of my emotional realm dances above this grounded foundation, reaching up into the cosmos and down to touch the ground but never going below it. I can respond to every individual Being without reaction or judgement, and without having to reach into my emotional field if this is not appropriate. With some Beings, it's not.
I experience the concept of embracing this Sui Generis as a physical expansion- I have noticed subtle expansions and contractions of my body that reflect constrictions I am experiencing in the emotional and psychological realms. When I am experiencing a state of contraction towards a Being, I am learning to consciously physically 'open the gates', where my energy is unconstricted towards them: I am not shielding, guarding, contracting energetically or any other of the 'defense' moves that we are entrained into; I am not using emotion or rational processes with this, I'm using body consciousness and energetic openness, a non-emotional 'yes' in me without accepting any charge, load, agenda or energy from them. For those who have read the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant (Stephen Donaldson), it is my expression of the expansion that Covenant used in the end to respond to Lord Foul's energy. I have found this expansion, this conscious focus outward into my aura and beyond, 360 degree awareness, opening and releasing any and all constrictions in my body, to be most useful when being confronted by the virus within me or any external expression of the Mirror that is the virus.
These are things I've been able to understand; I'm kinesthetic, I understand energies and flow of energies within me, so to experience judgement of another, or resistance, or controversy, as a *restriction* or contraction in my body has given me a map that I can use. When we are angry or running stories about another individual if we stop and look at what is happening in the body, there are contractions going on everywhere. Now I am constantly working with my physical body to release the stories in every moment and it's profoundly different.
I offer this perspective for all those who perhaps also do not really resonate with the language as some use it, with a view to creating other useful and beautiful pathways. :)
(This is the post that I'm making while I'm working on an epic installment of My Life Before and After The Anunnaki, part lebenty seven, which I have decided will probably be going up on my website with a link here, rather than posting it in entirety. I'm undecided. It's early morning here. I'm still waking up properly, behold my magnificent bed hair.)
I feel compelled to start this post with a heap of caveats. This post is not intended to rebut the perspectives and position of other individuals- I live with the principles of Sui Generis, I'm passionate about multiple perspectives and viewing points for the hologram.
The following was written while listening to this music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyY1nKTN9NU
This post has been inspired purely from my *own* perspective of my particular viewing point of the hologram. I'm putting it out there as a representative of a different point of view, not to create dissonance or controversy, and to explore certain concepts and language parameters that may be different to other individuals.
I was reading some of the recent upbeat threads about love, particularly those that talk about 'unconditional love' and I realised I was getting a little headtilty over them because I have a very different experience of those words and concepts. I couldn't in all honesty contribute to the threads as a result, because I respect the Sui Generis perspective of all the posters and because I had the sneaking suspicion that my different perspective might be considered to be a bit of a wet blanket by some. So here I am setting my blanket up somewhere else. :)
I do not understand the ubiquitous use of the word 'love'. I have yet to have anyone explain it in such a way that translates exactly into what another Being means; I've had many partners and they didn't have the same experience of 'love' either, which often led to some interesting and heated exchanges at times (before I got the underlying complexity of subjective language use, the heated is much less these days and generally over vastly different things).
I honestly have very little clue as to what individuals are meaning when they use the word, particularly in reference to other Beings, which is why as a point of reference it's useless to me. What does an individual mean when they say 'love'? What is the foundation of understanding for 'love' on this forum? Given that, what does unconditional love mean?
I've heard many individuals talk about unconditional love; frequently the ideas of 'turn the other cheek' and other such philosophies are put forward to illustrate the concepts the speaker is trying to convey. Personally I've experienced these philosophies as being the fertile soil on which abusers base their insidious and difficult to track behaviours.
I am NOT suggesting that such are on this board, nor am I suggesting that anyone espousing unconditional love is secretly an abuser. What I *am* saying is that I have found the 'turn the other cheek', meekly accepting the behaviours of others, etc etc to be a potent weapon in the hands of the dodgy: I was raised by an abusive fundamentalist christian who would espouse the virtues of 'turning the other cheek' as a means of enforcing non-resistance to all her manipulative, violent, passive aggressive, psychotic and destructive behaviours, none of which she took responsibility for.
'Unconditional love'- what is that? The word- unconditional- means love without conditions, yes? Aren't boundaries conditions? How can a healthy love-be it towards Self or another individual- be without boundaries? Is it being suggested that love without boundaries is a useful and desirable goal? How can one have both an expansive and respectful love towards one's Self and have no boundaries with others? What is actually being expressed in this concept?
I have a different take on 'love'. For a start, to me love is a verb, a word of action, a way of expressing and demonstrating the true landscape that the individual in front of me inhabits within me, not the one that I sometimes might like to convince my Self they inhabit. This inspires me to honesty- sometimes experienced as blunt, or rudeness, or uncaring- and yet if I lie about my feelings or try to use a global term to slide out from beneath the responsibility of paying attention to what I'm really feeling and then living into that, then things become distorted and painful, either quickly or slowly, depending on the connection.
I don't do unconditional love. As I've said, it's not a concept I understand. What I experience as being akin to the idea of unconditional is non-judgement. To me, non-judgement is not without conditions; it simply has no load at all, no energy aimed at those who may intentionally cross the borders. Unconditional to me demands that there be no boundaries or conditions, while non-judgemental says something very different; if I express a boundary to you and you cross it, then that will alter our relationship because I'm honoring my Self, not because I'm judging *you*.
I have experienced many Welcome to the World of Bizarro conversations with individuals who insisted that my maintaining a personal boundary was a judgement of them; that if I was truly non-judgemental I'd be simply accepting their behaviours and sitting there taking their crap, regardless. It's an interesting tactic of abusers and violaters, one that is early learned and rigorously applied when it serves them to do so; I've learned to slide past those who would use those selfserving logics in such a way as to rob me of my Sui Generis.
Given that this happens, this is why I have developed a different way of expressing and explaining it to others. Sui Generis says 'I am unique, and you are unique; what can be agreed upon is that every individual has the right to their Sui Generis expression, until harm of another is involved'; there is no judgement, no 'I' able to be pointed further than the Self (that is, the subjective experience of 'I' cannot be globalised over the experience of any other individual, because they too have a subjective and unique experience of 'I'). The internal maps that an individual uses to navigate around the universe are recognised as being representative of the universe only in relation to the individual- everything on the map, including 'truth', 'the way things are', meaning, bias, perspective, understanding and all the other elements that make up the way an individual thinks- are only useful for that individual. There is no thought of lifting up the map and trying to put it on top of another Being, or to wave the subjective map in front of another individual and demand that they follow 'the rules' of one's own map. None of that current paradigm folderol would apply.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO7B2fHjH74&feature=results_video&playne
For me, the position of sui generis applies fully up and down the frequency of sentience, no matter where in the frequency the Being is coming from; I need not run judgement towards them, simply allow my Self the choice of where I want to be in regards to their actions. There's no load, no judgement *and no emotion* involved- it's about a principle in action that doesn't require me to engage in a *feeling* way at all.
Is this love? Are principles Love? Love may embrace certain principles but are these always consistent regardless of the individual the love is being expressed towards? If there *are* differences in expression, are those differences considered conditions, or boundaries? If so, is that then not *conditional* love?
I look for expressions and principles that will translate across the multiverse, not just suit a relatively small group of individuals. If it is not actually love that is being suggested, then what is it? And if we can call a thing what it actually is, isn't that more useful and clear?
I do not inhabit a 'Verse wherein things are black and white, distinctly male and female, yin and yang, right and wrong, true and false- if anything, my universe is the one that exists in the line that divides the two poles, the bridge between where everything is shades and tones, wonderful mixes and blends, where gender is a concept that is decided on in the moment, only to be discarded and another exploration taken up in the next, where the exquisite blends of possibility are the art of the Being, in constant motion and expression. I don't live in a 'Verse where 'absolute truths' can be defined, where laws are solid state, where personalities and ideas must be fixed to social understandings and concepts. I don't have fixed laws about good and evil and the 'proper' responses to those- my experience of the universe has demonstrated itself to be simply too complex and shifting for that, no matter how much this irritates the beejums out of some sectors of the population (again, talking *generally*, 'out in the world' sense, NOT making any specific or covert references to any individual or group on this forum. I am talking conceptually and personally). I need a platform that does not rely on my internal experience in order to relate to others consistently.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hi3SL5stfI4
I currently am experiencing a wide range of expressions that I personally describe as various shades of love in me; these are fluid, expansive and contractive, internal moving to the external, dynamic, visceral, moving expressions of something that I am experiencing within my internal landscape. I don't express these things to all Beings, there are infinite subtle variations within each interaction; I have partners and lovers and friends and children that I love and each situation is unique because the Beings are unique and I am unique with them. All these infinite shades of expression and subtleties- how can they be bundled under a single title?
I approach the issue of individual Beings in a way that is expressed in principles that have nothing to do with the emotional field I interact with; there is a foundation upon which the emotional floats and moves but does not dip below. It is from this foundation that all my other actions, in terms of sentient Beings, flows- Sui Generis, I and all Other are unique in every way, including in understanding, expression, perspective- nothing can be taken for granted; and 'do no harm', which embraces the concept of ensuring that harm is not done *to me* as well as by me. The multicolored and auroric field of my emotional realm dances above this grounded foundation, reaching up into the cosmos and down to touch the ground but never going below it. I can respond to every individual Being without reaction or judgement, and without having to reach into my emotional field if this is not appropriate. With some Beings, it's not.
I experience the concept of embracing this Sui Generis as a physical expansion- I have noticed subtle expansions and contractions of my body that reflect constrictions I am experiencing in the emotional and psychological realms. When I am experiencing a state of contraction towards a Being, I am learning to consciously physically 'open the gates', where my energy is unconstricted towards them: I am not shielding, guarding, contracting energetically or any other of the 'defense' moves that we are entrained into; I am not using emotion or rational processes with this, I'm using body consciousness and energetic openness, a non-emotional 'yes' in me without accepting any charge, load, agenda or energy from them. For those who have read the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant (Stephen Donaldson), it is my expression of the expansion that Covenant used in the end to respond to Lord Foul's energy. I have found this expansion, this conscious focus outward into my aura and beyond, 360 degree awareness, opening and releasing any and all constrictions in my body, to be most useful when being confronted by the virus within me or any external expression of the Mirror that is the virus.
These are things I've been able to understand; I'm kinesthetic, I understand energies and flow of energies within me, so to experience judgement of another, or resistance, or controversy, as a *restriction* or contraction in my body has given me a map that I can use. When we are angry or running stories about another individual if we stop and look at what is happening in the body, there are contractions going on everywhere. Now I am constantly working with my physical body to release the stories in every moment and it's profoundly different.
I offer this perspective for all those who perhaps also do not really resonate with the language as some use it, with a view to creating other useful and beautiful pathways. :)