Difficult to ask...for me...

[RUSirius]

While taking in all the changes happening around us as well as in our semi-unique daily lives, in regards to ascension or raising our vibration or becoming more aware does anyone have advice on how to deal with this and dealing with a somewhat emotionally, verbally abusive relationship, outside of the obvious "yes" can this hold me back from the amazement that potentially awaits us? This is very difficult for me to put out there...I cant see the forest through the trees

[crosby]

hi RUSirius. i can understand what you are getting at. i am of the opinion that as long as you remain true to your inner conscious being, making sure that you are aware of your vibration and your tendency to keep it moving in the right direction, i believe that you will be okay. i am not a master at this, but at this point in my understanding, i think i am on the right track with my response. i hope that others here that are more aware, can give you a more definitive answer.
warmest loving thoughts to you, corson

[Cilka]

It depends on the relationship, how connected you are to this individual. If you left would you or the other person be in danger? I do believe that some of our so-called loved ones (I would not call it love because love does not supose to hurt) can hold us back and that is why it is crucial to leave such a relationship because the one who is hurting is not benefiting at all. Leaving will, no doubt, be very hard on both of you, but time will definitely heal the wounds. Staying in a toxic relationship will only make the person and you even more toxic.

DOn't be afraid to reveal more of your troubles in this forum, no one knows you, and we don't even know where you live. Besides, we all have our own skeletons in the closet, it's not that we are saints here or something.

[butcherman]

just knowing your right when the out ward seems so absurd and the manipulative situation cannot be controlled hang in their think about it don't be predictable remove the source of the presure and exorcise it { i can only imagine the torture and anguish in side been their and survived }

butcherman

[RunningDeer]

“The Gaslight Effect,” by: Dr. Robin Stern

Below is a priceless book: I have this in ebook and hard copy. The layout includes bullet points and charts in each chapter. I've copied some of the information from the front and back covers below:

“The Gaslight Effect,” by: Dr. Robin Stern

How to spot and survive the hidden manipulation others use to control your life.

Are you bring gaslighted? Check for these telltale signs:

You feel hopeless and joyless.
You constantly second-guess yourself.
You wonder, “Am I being too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.
You wonder frequently if you are a “good enough” boyfriend/employee/friend/...
You think twice before bringing up innocent topics of conversations.
You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
You feel as though you can’t do anything right.

Learn how to stop letting other people:

a) get inside your head
b) tell you what to think
c) shake your judgement
d) sabotage your self-esteem
e) make you question your grip on reality

[<8>]

Hi RUSirius...

The key thing has already happened within yourself, you are aware about the situation! (many people are not, good for you)

Now I don't have any details, so I can't really help you. Nevertheless I would suggest you look at this clip, it's Eckhart Tolle and Oprah about.
Relationships and how NOT play in to any dramas and so on.

I hope I got the right one..

LowfMpPJDTw

..8..

[RunningDeer]

Relationships: Follow Your Heart Music

We are here to learn different things from different people. That’s why some are in your life for many years or some for just a few intense days or even moments. That’s why there are relationships that experience heart felt intensity or push those Grrrrr buttons.

People are in your life until the lessons are learned. Then it’s either a parting of the way, or a choice to create new lessons. Life’s a journey of experiences and experiencing. And you get to choose what journey to walk. When you follow your heart music, it all unfold to where the greatest songs of possibility awaits you.

[RunningDeer]

This was something I posted before but it bears repeating:


“Equality and Respect for all of Humanity”


I use to demonstrate love, patience and compassion to those who were not treating me in the same fashion. Now I realize that their life perception is measured by a different code. Their innate character is designed to usurp illusionary power.

Today, I take responsibility for what transpires between us. I do not reinforce their behaviors. If I choose to stay, it is because I stand within the Self. Therefore in essence, they are my designated teachers assisting me in the art of patience, compassion and tough love.

Usual disclaimer: Only you know what’s best for your personal growth, i.e., find your own answers. (I know you know this.)


From my own life experiences this is where my truth is: Love of Self - I would rather spend the rest of my life alone, than in a relationship that I feel lonely in. A relationship where we "agree to disagree" is reasonable, but if one eclipses the other, there's an imbalance. If not corrected, it comes out in subtle ways. In my opinion, it's disrespectful to the relationship and to each other. The game of control whether it be passive or otherwise, is an ugly and stressful way to spend one's life. The solution for me was to change myself; either the relationship changes or there’s no place in the relationship for the evolution of the awakening self and Self.

PS I share these posts with the utmost integrity of purpose. If someone can save themselves some time and pain, then I share for that one reason only.

[ljwheat]

:rapture:RUSirius, Stop and remember, or ponder on how you entered this world, not as a human but as a orb of light, pure energy, perfect to make the journey to this planet. No one was there to hold your hand coming in to take up residence in the human vessal you personally chose to occupy this time around.

Your energy (Orb of life) didn’t have to check-in first with any religious group or affiliation
, Nor dose your heart have to ask permission to take the next beet in your extended stay with us as we experience this 3D ride with mother earth.

This inner Orb of energy has and always will vibrate just like your heart beet perfect in every way. Dose any group or religion, Guru, or philosophy dictate how your heart beets or how you take your next breath?

Duality, cause and effect people will jump out of the wood work to tell you how you must stand, believe, breath, or how your heart should pitter patter to the drums they beet too. all this doing stuff, This took place since your arrival on this-- there planet, there rules, there philosophies, there insanity’s, All the vastness of life on this planet and Nature there is only one species that has to work it's way into heaven, or ascension, Only one with a brain so big it can’t even control its own heart beet, but yet insists on controlling yours and others.

Love and share more of your time with the one causing your heart to take another beet.

Feel the life you draw into your lungs and the constant beet of your heart. This is the only free from of energy not controled by all the controls of this there duality prison planet we chose to spend time on. And the one that came into this world with out a name, that Orb of energy knew what it was doing before duality tried to take control of it and it still dose try to stuff it in a box. That Orb of energy is untouchable by any thing above or bellow or some idiot trying to control the shell your journeying in at this moment.

Free your mind of duality and having to do anything. Stay out of the mind game box’s people and religion’s and ET's try to stuff you into by doing or believing. Its not a doing, its staying the heart beet of who you are a perfect Orb of pure energy and limitless, stay free, attach this shell or brain to nothing outside of you.

That perfect-ness you came in with it’s a remembering and being. Not doing.

When its time for the ride to end, that Orb will unbuckle and exit the ride safe and sound, it can’t do anything else, its limitless, being with out end. Or a name ---(shackles) label’s (shackles) do this or do that. (shackles), believe this or that, (shackles) follow me or that (shackles)----- a new born baby pure no shackles yet. --- let go of the shackles they only apply to the shell and the controlable brain, not the Orb of life you are----- remember-----. The single word I’m looking for is Complete!!! John XXX


eh8Hp_CChdo

:cantina:


laughing Budda, its a ride, everything is a OK :car:---------------:rain:--------

:lalala:-----------:rapture: "May The Force Be With YOU" ----- NO NO,- it's never left you. Remember YOU Are the FORCE.

[RUSirius]

Thank you to all of you, I've read all your replies more than once, and am digesting, I feel as though I am amongst my family, sincerely...said as needed to be heard, thank you...

[markpierre]

Are you more afraid of the fear of what it is you know you want to do, than of the abuse? The very hardest part of any 'right' decision, is the deciding. Everything else organizes around that.

I don't believe anyone should endure being mistreated. We do it to ourselves as we allow it. If there's a lesson to be learned I'm certain it would be that.

There a many ways to address that, but it needs to be addressed to get past it.

I wish you an easy decision.

[minkton]

“The Gaslight Effect,” by: Dr. Robin Stern

Below is a priceless book: I have this in ebook and hard copy. The layout includes bullet points and charts in each chapter. I've copied some of the information from the front and back covers below:

“The Gaslight Effect,” by: Dr. Robin Stern

How to spot and survive the hidden manipulation others use to control your life.

Are you bring gaslighted? Check for these telltale signs:

You feel hopeless and joyless.
You constantly second-guess yourself.
You wonder, “Am I being too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.
You wonder frequently if you are a “good enough” boyfriend/employee/friend/...
You think twice before bringing up innocent topics of conversations.
You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
You feel as though you can’t do anything right.

Learn how to stop letting other people:

a) get inside your head
b) tell you what to think
c) shake your judgement
d) sabotage your self-esteem
e) make you question your grip on reality

I found this an INVALUABLE book for showing me a clear map when my head and heart had been thrown into confusion too continuously to know which side was up. I REALLY recommend it.

[WhiteFeather]

While taking in all the changes happening around us as well as in our semi-unique daily lives, in regards to ascension or raising our vibration or becoming more aware does anyone have advice on how to deal with this and dealing with a somewhat emotionally, verbally abusive relationship, outside of the obvious "yes" can this hold me back from the amazement that potentially awaits us? This is very difficult for me to put out there...I cant see the forest through the trees

Center yourself spiritually. Find peace thru nature. Relax your mind. Trust your innertruth. Clear your mind.

This video works for me whilst lying in bed before i go off into the astral world dream state, and it helps me to connect with myself and nature as a whole.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uupzk-YCBO0

Another favorite of mine.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzYCndaT8bs

[panopticon]

G'day RUSirius,

does anyone have advice on how to deal with this and dealing with a somewhat emotionally, verbally abusive relationship
I do not know much about the cultural, social or religious environment that you are surrounded by and participate in on a daily basis. Your flag reports you are from Guyana and that you live in Georgetown the Capital city. I am not familiar with the norms of Guyana so can only speak from my personal understandings in this matter.

If you are being abused by your partner then it is not a partnership. I don't know about "ascension" but if you are not happy then evaluate your options. Look at what you want from your partner and ask whether you are getting that. If there are children involved then what effect does the verbal and emotional abuse have on them? Are they being abused or are you taking the brunt of it? If the situation became physically abusive then would you stay? Are you staying because it's "only" emotional and verbal abuse? Look at the way in which the power and control of the abuser manifests and under what circumstances. There is no way that any person, no matter how well meaning, can give you advice that is appropriate without being familiar with the situation and I don't view that is something that can be done effectively online.

Is there someone who you can talk to that you know 100% wont tell anyone?
Do you know of a councillor that you can talk too?

As a male it can be difficult to get help when in an abusive relationship as most support is oriented towards women because they are the ones who are more often abused.

My advice to you is to stop, sit back and think.
Take time for yourself and work out what you want.
Remember that only you understand your circumstances and as such only you can decide what is appropriate for you to do.
Kind Regards, :yo:
Panopticon

[RUSirius]

[QUOTE=markpierre;469220]Are you more afraid of the fear of what it is you know you want to do, than of the abuse?

YES!!!!, I do not want to be seperated from my children...

[pugwash84]

The worst type of abuse is mental abuse, people do argue and fall out. If a person is constantly putting you down so you feel like you are not worth anything, this is damaging to you and your confidence. Me and my husband have had many a fall outs over things but the key is finding a ground you both agree on. If one person is unhappy then you have to talk about this and how you feel. If you come to an agreement and one person is happy and the other person is not, that is unbalanced. You have to find a solution where both people are winners. If you feel imprisoned by another person pushing their opinion on you, this will bring you down and hold you back from doing things you need to do. Hope this helps xx

[RunningDeer]

Are you more afraid of the fear of what it is you know you want to do, than of the abuse?

YES!!!!, I do not want to be seperated from my children...

FFT: Two loving parents, each with loving environments for the children vs. one home with a family of unhappy souls. (kids know)

[Eram]

Hi Rusirius,

The truth will set you free.

I know my partner and me got free of this kind of relationship by starting to tell each other the truth.

If you feel that your partner is abusing you verbally, it really helps if you put this abuse into clear objective words and speak out about it. No shouting, no lashing back at your partner, simply say what you feel or see is happening and how that makes you feel.
It can be very scary at the beginning, but after 2 or 3 times, you'll get used to it.
When you do this, it is impossible that the 'status quo' that is now in place remains.
Something will change and you can bet your money that it will be for the better.

[RUSirius]

Are you more afraid of the fear of what it is you know you want to do, than of the abuse?

YES!!!!, I do not want to be seperated from my children...

FFT: Two parents, each with loving environments for the children vs. one home with a family of unhappy souls. (kids know)

Agreed, well said...Thank WCBD as always...

[Sidney]

Even in a brutal environment, you can find solace inside yourself. Try to meditate daily, even if only for 5 minutes at a time. Your best friend is inside you. It took me a while to figure this one out. But when I am truly alone in the world and feeling blue, my higher self is always there to comfort me. It may sound corny, but it really is true.

[RUSirius]

Even in a brutal environment, you can find solace inside yourself. Try to meditate daily, even if only for 5 minutes at a time. Your best friend is inside you. It took me a while to figure this one out. But when I am truly alone in the world and feeling blue, my higher self is always there to comfort me. It may sound corny, but it really is true.

Not corny at all...

[markpierre]

Are you more afraid of the fear of what it is you know you want to do, than of the abuse?

YES!!!!, I do not want to be seperated from my children...

FFT: Two parents, each with loving environments for the children vs. one home with a family of unhappy souls. (kids know)

Agreed, well said...Thank WCBD as always...

Consider that it's fear of change that we're always afraid of, not the facts of the changes. The future is a book with a story with plot twists that we haven't come upon.
But remember who authored this book.
And remember who it was written for, and why. It wasn't written to hurt you. It was written to coax you out of a dream of shadows and lurking monsters, into a dream of
comfort and support.
The days of suffering are ending. How do we find that out?
From dreams of safety we can awaken into the light of day without bringing the monsters with us.
That's God's purpose for the story, what was your purpose?
If you assume an ending taken from the past, you've hijacked the possibility of a happy ending.

Hmmm...sounds like 'A Course in Miracles. I thought I'd forgotten that stuff.

[Rantaak]

Take your power back. Every moment is hilarious. So laugh, smile, and sing.

Power only exists where we fabricate it.

[Timreh]

A lot of people are experiencing major changes at the moment.. doors and chapters closing making way for new ones.
If you choose to let go my advice would be not to fight what your are feeling and what is happening but allow it all to take place.. then looking back you can make some sense out of it all and hopefully find some answers.
All the best whatever you choose

[Timreh]

If you already know the answer and are looking for support and courage I hope you have found it here RUSirius.
You wondered if this would hold you back from the "amazement that potentially awaits us?" I guess not.. but you may not enjoy the ride as much?
It sounds like your children may be the only thing keeping you there?
How might this be affecting them and what are they witnessing?

[DeDukshyn]

While taking in all the changes happening around us as well as in our semi-unique daily lives, in regards to ascension or raising our vibration or becoming more aware does anyone have advice on how to deal with this and dealing with a somewhat emotionally, verbally abusive relationship, outside of the obvious "yes" can this hold me back from the amazement that potentially awaits us? This is very difficult for me to put out there...I cant see the forest through the trees

Wow what a test! A good place to be -- that means you are ready. Good luck! And be your best!

[DeDukshyn]

The worst type of abuse is mental abuse, people do argue and fall out. If a person is constantly putting you down so you feel like you are not worth anything, this is damaging to you and your confidence. Me and my husband have had many a fall outs over things but the key is finding a ground you both agree on. If one person is unhappy then you have to talk about this and how you feel. If you come to an agreement and one person is happy and the other person is not, that is unbalanced. You have to find a solution where both people are winners. If you feel imprisoned by another person pushing their opinion on you, this will bring you down and hold you back from doing things you need to do. Hope this helps xx

If I may infer ... the ultimate state is to become immune to the abuse by understanding that people say what they say - they may mean it, they may not, it may be fear or ego driven, but really, what others say is strictly a result of their experiences and actually has little to do with you (although I can admit, this can be tiresome). When one fully understands this and their relationship to communication and the human mind, one can learn to become immune to the abuse. It's not easy - but it is an opportunity for practicing a very valuable skill -- but it does take practice, just like any skill.

It may be pushed aside for now, but unless dealt with it will likely return.

My 2 cents ;) (I'm in a similar boat)

[Ernie Nemeth]

RUSirius, all the best to you.
My only input is to recount my experience.
My marriage began disintegrating and the fights were getting more and more loud. Our one year old daughter would often begin crying...
We decided to get a divorce to save our child from the effects of our fighting.
My ex and I are the best of friends, now, well over twenty years later.
It was hard, it was scary, it was embarrassing - but it was the right thing to do for us at least.
Only you know what you must do.
God bless.
Love,
Ernie

[DeDukshyn]

RUSirius, all the best to you.
My only input is to recount my experience.
My marriage began disintegrating and the fights were getting more and more loud. Our one year old daughter would often begin crying...
We decided to get a divorce to save our child from the effects of our fighting.
My ex and I are the best of friends, now, well over twenty years later.
It was hard, it was scary, it was embarrassing - but it was the right thing to do for us at least.
Only you know what you must do.
God bless.
Love,
Ernie

Sometimes the fear of change overrides what's best. So glad to here you guys have worked it out -- that's really what it is about - making things work regardless of what is being perceived.

[ljwheat]

:tape: Life is a hoax. what we are doing to our childeren. and how i got labeled. :tape:

66iq40acSGM

[RUSirius]

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone, my family, apart but connected deeply, you have encouraged me, I peacefully, calmly, stood my ground today, and in return, I'm sleeping on the couch, gotta laugh...I'm originally from connecticut in the states, but living in guyana, trying to broadcast a signal of truth, that was the main reason to come, and wanted to raise my children in a different region of the world, there was a shooting across from the business I run today, the reason we fought today is I do not like violence, and my wife thought the guy should have had his head blown off, she has her reasons, I'm not judging, violence only breeds more violence, I stand firm in my beliefs, what a day, not used to guns going off near my family, but some people live that life everyday, so I'm not complaining, just a serious reality check of this new world I live in...thank you everyone....keep me in your thoughts as I keep you all.
Jeff

[RunningDeer]

Sending love and heart to RUSirius and your family. Stay well, my Family-Friend. :wave:

Heart,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer