Anyone else have this feeling of 'waiting'?

[BenjiRixon]

Hey guys

for about 5-6 years now i have had this feeling of 'waiting'.

it started off as like a back gound feeling that would come and go but over the years its getting more of an urgent feeling as if im waiting for something to change my life an give me a sense of purpose/reason for being here or for something to click into place?

i havent really been happy in the last few years due to work comitments/health/home life but its not a feeling of waiting to be happy either. its a definate feeling of waiting for a purpose or a destiny or a path to follow? and im always questioning myself as what i should be doing :confused:

its a strange one i know but here is the only place i can ask and wondered has anyone else had / have this feeling and what they do/ did to overcome it? just feels like i wondering around in life aimlessly for what feels like no reason just waiting for this thing to happen................

thoughts on a postcard please

[Eram]

Hi BenjiRixon,

As I see it, you have two choices here:
- Either you keep on waiting some more.
or
- You get up on your feet, start living and learn how to create all that you want to be.

It's really that simple.

NIKE has made a slogan out of it that made them billions in sales... JUST DO IT!

I'm not taking a cheap shot at you, because I can feel you are sincere in your question.
I've been where you are now although in a different way.
I've spent about 20 years on the seat watching TV, waiting for a direction in life.
Now I'm in a totally different situation with a family of my own, a self employed job, two wonderful kids and lots to look forward to.
When I look back on what made all this change possible I can only see that it was me who got up from the seat and just did it.
There was no lightning bolt that changed me nor was there a sudden awakening to a new direction in life.

Don't wait for change to happen, but be the change yourself!

kind regards,

Waky

[Star Tsar]

I have been where you are now Wakytweaky but it went downhill...
Now after some time I'm feeling a like BenjiRixon (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?3613-BenjiRixon).
:(

[markpierre]

-
Haha...ditto. Good insight.

But you're not just waiting, you're aware of a bigger picture that the 'same-old' has little or nothing to do with.
But it does in this sense. It's the content through which you're being made ready.
You know all this. I'll be patronizing for a sec in case there's someone who doesn't.

One thing you can do that can make it at least a little more entertaining for yourself.
Everything you encounter in your day without exception ie activities and events and people you engage with (yes, especially your intimates)
are the venue for a single relationship.
With yourself. There are no 'others'.
In you is where God is. It sometimes peeks out at you in the worst of times, but it's always there urging you along.
Just watch yourself change in every thought and emotion and reaction in every moment, and you'll get in on the plan.
It's pretty fascinating how it works.
We couldn't have done it through our own devises.

Hey, as long as you can recognize the current of change within yourself, it won't matter so much how much time it takes. Look at how fast and dramaticly your world is changing. That's you changing. Marching into and through the worst and hardest of what we've hidden inside ourselves.
And it all comes down to what's true, and what isn't. Simple uncompromising honesty.
Ya, it's gotten pretty old, but we've been doing it a long time.
You've been pretty patient, how many thousands of years of time? You're good at patience. And you're not left hanging there. You get confirmation from every direction.

You DO know that's it's for an ultimate purpose, even if you can only guess at what that is.
And the 'story' is all about you and how you grew up into human adulthood.

I've had enough glimpses to assure you it's worth it. You can't anticipate it, it's too fantastic. And too alien to an isolated identity in time.
And such a relief you might burst from the release of everything you ever believed was opposing you.
You've done a good job, congratulate yourself.

Good onya mate

[BenjiRixon]

Many Thanks for the thoughts,

i can see what is being said as 'be the change' but the trouble is i already have tried and still have the same feeling, i'll explain -

when i first had the feeling i was about 16 but as i was in college i just thought i was having a feeling of waiting to grown up and start my life as an adult. i went to college for 7 years and again the feeling was there all the way through and just put it down to waiting to graduate and get a good paid job and start a career etc anyway i qualified and got a job made good money for a bit then feel ill, lost job went on the sick. and again feeling was still there.

while i was on the sick i met my partner and we started dating etc and moved into a house had kids and the same time my mum bought a pub/bar bed and breakfast and i was working there (still am) and you would think everything was great but still.......... the same feeling still there getting more and more urgent as time goes on.

so ive definately tried to be the change, and some may say i have it all - the house, car, dog, kids, missis and family business, but theres still something missing, i know im playing the game that im trapped in with how we gotta be to survive, but at the same time im being the best person i can be while i do it.

ive looked for answers to what im waiting for , and trying to think where i need to be or what i need to be doing but i just cant seem to work it out, and i think if i can some how work it out the feeling may disapear?? who knows...................

[markpierre]

ive looked for answers to what im waiting for , and trying to think where i need to be or what i need to be doing but i just cant seem to work it out, and i think if i can some how work it out the feeling may disapear?? who knows...................

hmmm...I answered that pretty directly.

Consider that you can't know what that 'change' should be. Don't think you need to be busy creating something that's already there. You have a 'you' that's been made up, and you want that 'you' to know how to create something real.
That's not good planning. You have to rely on something real to do that for you. And it has and is.

It's just ready for you to be ready for it.

Reconsider whether that feeling is good or bad, because it may be just the way it is, until one day it just isn't.
You've already discovered that there's nothing in the world that can fill you up. If you want to know what you should do, you are,
because it's right in front of you. Get with what you're doing now.
It really is chop wood carry water time for everyone.

[pugwash84]

When I go to bed I sometimes get a waiting feeling. I end up waking up every hour in the night thinking something is going to happen, like i'm waiting for it. I end up either going back to sleep or going to each room and checking the children then going back to bed after checking them.

[Fred Steeves]

ive looked for answers to what im waiting for , and trying to think where i need to be or what i need to be doing but i just cant seem to work it out, and i think if i can some how work it out the feeling may disapear?? who knows...................

Hi Ben, this may sound a bit unorthodox, but in metaphor if I were you I would close my eyes, let go of the steering wheel, and bury the gas pedal into the floor board. Surprise yourself.

Cheers Mate,
Fred

Oh, almost forgot. I think you might have it backwards. You're not waiting for "it", "it's" waiting for you.:whistle:

[Timreh]

Hi Benji, I guess just stay true, and keep your eyes open, your purpose or path will reveal itself in due time.
I think sometimes when we let go, doors are opened allowing things to operate uninhibited

When I was a child maybe somewhere around the age 5 -10, for a few years I would have these undeniable impressions or feelings that one day I was going to do something special, something on a big scale.
Whatever it was it was of a spiritual nature, I would try and explain this to my mother so that when it eventually happened she would remember me talking about it.
Here I am and I have not yet been able to understand what it was about??
It is now but a memory, one I have at times struggled to understand, but one that has never left me.

All my best

[Eram]

Many Thanks for the thoughts,

i can see what is being said as 'be the change' but the trouble is i already have tried and still have the same feeling, i'll explain -

when i first had the feeling i was about 16 but as i was in college i just thought i was having a feeling of waiting to grown up and start my life as an adult. i went to college for 7 years and again the feeling was there all the way through and just put it down to waiting to graduate and get a good paid job and start a career etc anyway i qualified and got a job made good money for a bit then feel ill, lost job went on the sick. and again feeling was still there.

while i was on the sick i met my partner and we started dating etc and moved into a house had kids and the same time my mum bought a pub/bar bed and breakfast and i was working there (still am) and you would think everything was great but still.......... the same feeling still there getting more and more urgent as time goes on.

so ive definately tried to be the change, and some may say i have it all - the house, car, dog, kids, missis and family business, but theres still something missing, i know im playing the game that im trapped in with how we gotta be to survive, but at the same time im being the best person i can be while i do it.

ive looked for answers to what im waiting for , and trying to think where i need to be or what i need to be doing but i just cant seem to work it out, and i think if i can some how work it out the feeling may disapear?? who knows...................

Well, it sure sounds like a riddle then doesn't it?

A few things come to mind when reading your reply:
- Sometimes a certain feeling can be adopted through the family lines. for instance My mother used to hide her values like jewellery in a box of frozen purple cabbage in the freezer. Little did she know when talking about this to her grandmother and told her about this and her grandmother took her to her own freezer and let her have a peek into her box of frozen purple cabbage. They both never mentioned this to anyone.
So... Who knows. It might be interesting to research if someone related to you has been waiting a long period of his/her life for something to happen. Maybe your grandfather was a sailor and your grandmother waited for him to come home all the time you know? ;) something like that.
- Sometimes a lingering feeling like this has something to do with a past life. a Friend of mine was afraid in the bathroom all the time and didn't understand why. When she went to a regression therapist and visited some of her past lives, she found out that in the first life back she was murdered while combing her hair in the bathroom.
- Last thing I can think of is that the feeling has something to do with a plan you made for this life and your not living it. (like fred Steeves and SoulAppreciation said) That's what you think isn't it? Must be difficult to feel like there is something to do or experience and you can't figure out what. There are people who can help you with it.
In the Netherlands I know of a woman who is specialized in finding out your souls task in the current life.

All I know is, that you can drive yourself half mad in trying to figure something out and still not find an answer. Waste of energy in the end.
When there is no answer to find then it's better to get on with your life and try to live in the 'here and now' and enjoy it. Just recognize that the feeling is there and maybe some day you'll suddenly know what it is.


K.W.B

Re: Anyone else have this?
I have been where you are now Wakytweaky but it went downhill...
Now after some time I'm feeling a like BenjiRixon.



I'm sorry to hear that KWB.
would you like to share?

[9eagle9]

Not really surprised since most modern spirituality/ philosophy is composed of "wait and someone will be along shortly"

[Debra]

OK, I will give this a shot, I think I understand .. because this is a feeling I have experienced, still do. There is a reason why you are asking here on Avalon .. you don´t just want some coping with life advice.

It is the transition that you are tuned into. We are in it now, I believe.

This has been a time that I started being conscious about many years ago, when I was about 16 or 15 years old. The word transition entered my vocabularly from a voice somewhere inside or out there, and the message was that I am here to help out in the transition.

What messages have come to you?

But, it is still a matter of living your life fully and following where your heart wants to be. That is on path - and how you will be called into action - will become clear. It will take you by surprise, and then you will know.

Zebra :)

[WhiteFeather]

Ask your spirit guides to assist you at night before going to sleep. Align your self spiritually and connect with nature when you can. Find the hobbies that best suits your soul. As there are many instruments out there that you can utilize in following your path. Meditation would be a great start if you havent done so yet.

[christian]

New agey "wait for them" people is a point.
"It", waiting for you to go for it is a point.

Anyways, in 3d terms, when one sets focus on something and aligns thought and deed with that focus, one really has to "wait" or anticipate, that what is intended eventually manifests.

If you want to act in accord with the cosmic harmony, you have to wait for the right time for every action. It's not that there's not something to do every now, but maybe, Benji, you just already sense a particular thing you will have to do at some point in the future.

---

Or you are just to hesitant to do what you came for and since 5-6 years you wait for Godot :P

In terms of changing this, just tell the universe you are ready for the next step. The challenges will then come and you'll see, if you're indeed ready.

[BenjiRixon]

@Markpierre sorry i know you answered it directly but im new to all this and it sorta went over my head i need to keep re reading it to try to understand, bare with me im new !

@Zebra - really liked your reply, feels comforting yes you right i dont need coping with lie help, no messages have come to me unless the recurring scenario dreams are some forum of message.

@fred steeves - nicely put mate, like that a lot

@christian - not sure, if i knew what i was ment to do id crack on with it as id finally feel satisfied i think

@soulappreciation - also well said

I dont meditate, dont know if i have a spirit guide but one thing i do know is that my grandfather is looking over my shoulder even tho he died before i met him i still feel like i know him. Also mediums i have seen also say the same thing,. one thing interesting wakytweety said yes my grandfather was a sailor so may have something to do with it?/. My mum was/is very spiritual and has held many services at churches and stuff but i never really got involved, i suppose ive turned my back on things like that, maybe thats what im waiting for?

one thing i did forget to mention tho is that i have many many dreams of rescuing/saving people from various scenarios and always feel complete when i wake, thinking about it ive always known ive been put here to help but how and who again maybe time will tell.



again thanks to all, really starting to feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel lol !

oh and wakytweety whos the lady in the netherlands that can help?

[Peace of Mind]

Meditation is great for the mind, I do it often. Perhaps this is the reason I no longer have dreams…as dreams is just the mind sorting out the thoughts that were placed in the subconscious during the times of physical awareness.

It’s obvious that you want to do something for humanity and that’s a refreshing thing to hear. However, only you can figure out your purpose here…but coming to this point in your life is a good sign that you’re ready. In time… I know the bulk of humanity will also be ready…they just have to get to that point of where you’re currently at now…the point of knowing that there are things that need to be done. I suspect the answers you seek will make themselves known to you soon.

Peace

[genevieve]

BenjiRixon--

I'm waiting, too. I've been waiting for the "Shift of Ages" since I first read about it in the early 1990s.

T - I - I - I - I - I - I - C - K
T - O - O - O - O - O - C - K

I believe that right now, whether we're consciously aware of it or not, we're all experiencing the compression of being birthed into a new reality.

Here's what's working for me while I sit in the waiting room:

Pay attention to who and what is right here right now and notice any input from my ego.
Go beyond my ego and enjoy who and what is right here right now.
Express appreciation and love at every opportunity--to self and others (even "inanimate things").

Yummmm. Works for me!

Peace Love Joy & Harmony,
Genevieve

[Carolin]

Hi Benji,

I totally get what you are saying. Sometimes I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve.....I can't wait to see what Santa brought me. I didn't ask for anything but I know it's going to be good!!!

[Fred Ryan]

I know exactly how you feel and have felt the same way for many years now. It's hard to explain but it's a knowing that there's a specific purpose for me being here and that until this purpose is revealed I'll have to wait. I don't think you should defend how feel nor do you need to change the way you do anything. All you need is faith that your purpose will be reveals.

Good luck and thanks for the post.

[sirdipswitch]

We all came here at this time to help with transition. Some have became miered in the game and have forgotten, and thus do not wait. Some of us do remember and thus we wait. Be content my freind, you wait justly.

love and peace
sirdipswitch

[Eram]

Here's what's working for me while I sit in the waiting room:

Pay attention to who and what is right here right now and notice any input from my ego.
Go beyond my ego and enjoy who and what is right here right now.
Express appreciation and love at every opportunity--to self and others (even "inanimate things").

Yummmm. Works for me!

Peace Love Joy & Harmony,
Genevieve

Hi Genevieve,

Welcome on project Avalon.

I really like what you wrote here and it looks a lot like what I experience these days.
I've been hanging out at the spiritual section of this forum a lot lately and it inspired me to do some exercises in the Eckhart Tolle frame of mind.
have you been reading his books too by any chance?

I'm not sure that I apply his methods correctly, but I do it almost in the same way that you describe.
I find myself in situations that normally bore the heck out of me or make me feel uncomfortable and then I do this 'getting aware of what my mind is rambling about' trick and suddenly I see things as for the first time. Like when you are on vacation and see the ocean at sunset or something similar.
I see I'm not so good in explaining this, but I hope you see what I mean.
It's just awesome that one can influence his/her experience of life on such a level with so little effort.



Benji,

I wrote the lady for the contact info you are looking for and get back to you as soon as possible.

[genevieve]

Wakytweaky--

Thank you for your welcome.

I haven't read Tolle, and I'm delighted that, after all the years I've put into figuring out how to do life better, I've arrived "independently" at a means to enjoy life that a wise man such as Tolle might endorse.

I think I understand exactly what you're talking about.
When you're enrapt by the sunset, you are undistractedly merging with it and knowing at some level that you are part of the magnificence.

If it's true--and I believe it is--that we create our own reality, then we are "Godlets" (individual aspects of god) and everything is a part of us.
Every moment is rife with opportunity to know ourselves better.
What could be more interesting?

Peace Love Joy & Harmony,
Genevieve

[RMorgan]

Hey mate,

Don´t worry. This is normal, unfortunately.

We´re educated to wait.

When you´re a kid, they tell you to wait until you become an adult, when you say you wanna do whatever you wanna do (be free).

When, you´re an adult, they tell you to wait until you retire, when you say you wanna do whatever you wanna do (be free).

When you´re retired, they tell you to wait until you die, when you say you wanna do whatever you wanna do (be free).

So, to sum up, whenever you want to achieve anything, they say you must wait until you achieve another thing, so you can do whatever you wanna do (be free).

Yeah...It sucks.

They never tell us to go and actually DO something. They always tell us to WAIT.

This pattern is a damn curse. Even in the "alternative media", it´s everywhere (Fulford,Drake,Wilcock,etc...).

However, we need to brake off this pattern, because our lifespan is short and if we spent our lives just waiting, we end up dying without actually doing nothing substantial during our lives, besides waiting.

So, find out something you enjoy and go do it; at least whenever you do something, it will lead you to something. When you just wait, if just leads you to death.

Cheers,

Raf.

[BenjiRixon]

Well Firstly id like to thank everyone for the input and thoughts and feelings on the matter, its a huuuuuuge help, which i am truly gratefull. Already im feeling al lot more positive about the whole thing and mind mind has settled slightly for now.

Waky a big thanks to you for contacting the lady for me. :hail:

Raf - i get what your saying and i thought it was that when i was young but its definately a waiting of where i need to be and what i need to be doing.

as far as i know i need to be helping people -

how - i dont know
where - i dont know
when - i dont know
why - because i know deep down thats what im here to do


the sooner i find all this out and start doing what i should be doing the better, untill then my mind wont rest, it never has :-)


to be continued............