It Doesn't Matter What Happens to Me.

[markpierre]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.

[ROMANWKT]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.


Hi markpierre

There is this thing that crawls at night looking for people that have let go and really don't care what happens, its called BS that fills the open space that you have created, or looking at it in another way, you have great capacity for anything and everything that you could imagine, why not use it??

Regards to you
roman

[markpierre]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.


Hi markpierre

There is this thing that crawls at night looking for people that have let go and really don't care what happens, its called BS that fills the open space that you have created, or looking at it in another way, you have great capacity for anything and everything that you could imagine, why not use it??

Regards to you
roman

Thanks Roman. And I really like your Avatar. And thanks for the advice, it's exactly what I'm doing.

[D-Day]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.

I hear ya brother.
All that is ~ is meant to be.
All is as it should be ~ always.
All is well ;)

[Maia Gabrial]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.

Sounds like you're not afraid of death, markpierre.

[Carolin]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.

Me either, but it's fun to pretend :D

[christian]

-- It only matters how you deal with what happens.

I heard somebody say that before.

[markpierre]

Okay. Looks like that's it. I can count on you guys.
A lot of psychology in the statement, if it's coming out of nowhere. I can't imagine how I'd respond either. I might agree with some philosophical blah blah attached.
But I was trying to get an idea of where anyone else was at in the book. It wasn't a test, and I have no idea what I'd do with the information, if there was any.

It was actually a revelation, and I posted it as it was still going on. Just a random thought at first, in those words, and then an experience.
Lasted till I fell asleep.

I can see the ways that it can be read, and anyone reading it is going to position themselves somewhere within sympathy or understanding, or outright fear to varying degrees.

You guys would have passed any test by replying at all. You'd have to be compelled by love.
What would be interesting would be anyone who read it and couldn't reply, or couldn't be bothered. To learn what they saw and what they thought and felt.
Or if the thought gets in and gets used in any way now or in the future. And how. Or not.
Every 'new' thought or idea has an influence of some kind on all the previous and next new thoughts.

It isn't the kind of thing that just comes up very often. But I have to always remember when I post anything, that a lot more people read these things, than just the guys we've gotten to know. It's a big responsibility.
I want to be able to extend out there past my arms with things that are useful. If there really is an 'out there'.
I think my karma is pretty caught up right now, I don't want to mess it up.

It was sweet and lovely and graceful, and my body relaxed for the first time in weeks. I fully realized that if I could have that experience then, or if anyone could,
it wasn't a fleeting thing, it was true. The last and truest thought I think you could have, using a conceptual mind.
Then 'who knows?'

I don't know what's going to happen. I'm pretty tired of nothing, but I know something's going to happen. In the meanwhile I'm changing every day, so that's happening.
And every week it feels dramatic if I can even think back a week. There's barely time to integrate anything.
It must be for some purpose or reason.

I don't exclude the possibility of death, but it isn't the first thing I consider. The possibility of 'real life' looms as well.
That's actually what I was working for, and never really acknowledged that it might possibly one day occur.
I had a preview once, for 4 days. And it's far far more than anything my tiny identity could have known to ask for.
That seemingly happened because I admitted that I was f'd, and I wasn't going to be able to charm my way safe again.
I was fully ruined as an identity.
Big spiritual deal.
I just went and made up a series of new better identities and wasted a lot of time.
The 'spiritual' identity was the biggest joke. Took the biggest stick to beat it out of me.

How it arrives (life or death) would be as bizarre and unexpected as anything else has been for the last 4 years. 22 years really.
No, 56 years. WTF?
Including the exquisitely enjoyable and the not-so-enjoyable,
and downright impossibly devastating.
It's all been okay. I made a lot of good friends.

What do you read? 'Hit the wall'? 'Suicide note'? 'Super out-there spiritual wisdom'? It doesn't matter to me, it might matter to you.
I love you for caring enough about whoever wrote the thread, to chime in.
Consolations and advice and acknowledgements all pleasurably accepted.

At least it's an adventure.

[Fred Steeves]

You're an odd cookie markpierre...I like that! :hippie:

[Carolin]

Jump back in.........the water is fine. Yes, sometimes it's fast moving but also often feels stagnant. The rapids are a btch but so thrilling when I make it through. Sometimes it's hard to stay afloat, I feel like I'm drowning, I keep going under, can't catch my breath but then I remember to "go with the flow" and I become buoyant again. I've tried to go against the current but it's exhausting and I never get too far. I can't see what's around the next bend and the unknown is scary but I know this is my path.

[markpierre]

You're an odd cookie markpierre...I like that! :hippie:

Thanks Fred...you have odd taste. But you get it...or you get something from it.

What is it that needs to hang on to agendas and bodies and outcomes? What about even ideas like belonging to a race of beings in the first place?
What is that thing that when it lets go of control, if even for a moment...gives itself everything it could ever want and more? Without using typical or convenient or popular terms.
Whats it feel like? And don't patronize me.
It's in every text in the universe, so it's pointless to quote.

Not ego, because that word is entirely misunderstood by nearly everyone. It's more intimate than any 'idea' about an 'I'.
'My illusory self is explaining what illusory self is to my illusory self.' Duh.
And it's more compelling than instinct.

Doesn't that just make you dizzy? Does me.

[Sidney]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.

For what it's worth..
It matters to me....................

I have never met you, I don't know you, and you don't know me. But what I do know, is that you are a member of the Avalon family, and I am a member of the Avalon family. So, in a sense, you are my brother. I care what happens to my brother.

[Star Tsar]

Does it matter to your loved ones?

[jorr lundstrom]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.


I just wonder, to whom doesnt it matter?


All is well


Jorr

[Shadowman]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.

I just wonder, to whom doesnt it matter?

All is well

Jorr

Indeed. The quintessential universal question - "Who am I"

http://www.scribd.com/doc/25358305/Collected-Works-ramana-Maharshi

But I do get your original intention/realization implied in your OP Mark,

similiar to a Vietnam Vet saying - "It doesn't mean a thing...",

You might enjoy reading the link above if you have not already done so,

Cheers my friend,
tim

PS lol check post timing, infinity? (2 sideways 8's) , somewhat relevant, yes?

[Knowrainknowrainbows!]

Matters not is an illusion or deception.
You are here and THAT is significant.
For me, everything is connected ...
relavent and relative.

And I appreciate your being here.
KRKR

[Fred Steeves]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.

It doesn't matter to me either... But then again it does... But then again...Who is the "me" we are talking about? Can this subtle entity be observed?

[9eagle9]

I just went and made up a series of new better identities and wasted a lot of time.
The 'spiritual' identity was the biggest joke. Took the biggest stick to beat it out of me.

Worth repeating. A person standing on the the threshold of finding their self value.

[markpierre]

Does it matter to your loved ones?

That's a really good question, and a really important one. Thanks KWB. That's the kind of things we need to look at. Where do our 'loved ones' exist in our minds as distinct from ourselves.
I guess I'd want them to have the same experiences and realizations that I've had, yet avoid the pain and intensity of the prerequisites. The idea of Armageddon is very personal to me.
But it can't not be that it's all available to them. I must learn to trust them as much as I've learned to trust myself and where my safety lies. In God.
No where else that I can find.

I've had the (blessing?) of being unwillingly isolated from my loved ones for many years, and frankly have no expectation of seeing them physically again. It doesn't cause me to disassociate from them, but helps me identify them as the blessings they are that I carry around with me. Who and what are they apart from that?
Of course it includes the sense of loss and longing that goes with it.

You also missed some of the point, that freedom the way I know of it, is the conclusion that I anticipate. I already know pain and suffering quite well. Been there-done that.
More of it is just sort of ordinary. A lot of us can view it that way. Even say 'screw you...take you're best shot'. I'm at least partially immune.

But if I think there's something 'out there' that they need to be protected from, and that their joy and fulfillment and freedom depends on something other than just exactly what happens exactly the way it happens, I'm screwed.
And I'm imagining that they're screwed. It's trapped then in imagination, not in truth.
If I don't know 'truth', I fully know what isn't. I'm looking right at it.
Even the 'loved ones' who've come and gone, who only really showed me my attachment to the idea that I can be betrayed and abandoned and persecuted and made 'guilty', for being who and what I really am, and not what they would make of me. I fear for them too. I love them still.

And ya, it's painful, and that's part of the burden of awakening. Your beliefs and ideals have to be destroyed, so that you can learn to see beyond them.
Because until you have no other choice, you won't really look past the physical with enough intention and determination to see beyond it.
Most people have to literally die in order to do that. Not everyone.

It's not fun. Nothing that's occurring is fun, unless you can find fun in distractions. But you can't escape.
And that's the blessing of this moment in time. A roller coaster ride is designed to be scary. I got on, but I won't be getting off until the ride is fully over.
Not this time.

[markpierre]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.


I just wonder, to whom doesnt it matter?


All is well


Jorr

Hah! Forgot to ask.

[donk]

It's already been said, but my answer would have been: it matters to me...what difference does that make?

I like the answers that are to the effect of, well it matters to me too--it's all interconnected (a big blanket)

Much love, and remember: nihilism can be exhausting too!

[markpierre]

PS lol check post timing, infinity? (2 sideways 8's) , somewhat relevant, yes?

Yes!!!!!!!

[markpierre]

It's already been said, but my answer would have been: it matters to me...what difference does that make?

I like the answers that are to the effect of, well it matters to me too--it's all interconnected (a big blanket)

Much love, and remember: nihilism can be exhausting too!

Not sure if, no actually I'm certain that nihilism isn't whats being expressed here. Unless of course you can only see it that way.

Thanks for your input. Cheers!

[Carolin]

But I was trying to get an idea of where anyone else was at in the book.

Doesn't look like anybody is reading the book :p

[WhiteFeather]

I am I, You are You, but together we make up this instructional universe.

[<8>]

Okay. Looks like that's it. I can count on you guys.
A lot of psychology in the statement, if it's coming out of nowhere. I can't imagine how I'd respond either. I might agree with some philosophical blah blah attached.
But I was trying to get an idea of where anyone else was at in the book. It wasn't a test, and I have no idea what I'd do with the information, if there was any.

It was actually a revelation, and I posted it as it was still going on. Just a random thought at first, in those words, and then an experience.
Lasted till I fell asleep.

I can see the ways that it can be read, and anyone reading it is going to position themselves somewhere within sympathy or understanding, or outright fear to varying degrees.

You guys would have passed any test by replying at all. You'd have to be compelled by love.
What would be interesting would be anyone who read it and couldn't reply, or couldn't be bothered. To learn what they saw and what they thought and felt.
Or if the thought gets in and gets used in any way now or in the future. And how. Or not.
Every 'new' thought or idea has an influence of some kind on all the previous and next new thoughts.

It isn't the kind of thing that just comes up very often. But I have to always remember when I post anything, that a lot more people read these things, than just the guys we've gotten to know. It's a big responsibility.
I want to be able to extend out there past my arms with things that are useful. If there really is an 'out there'.
I think my karma is pretty caught up right now, I don't want to mess it up.

It was sweet and lovely and graceful, and my body relaxed for the first time in weeks. I fully realized that if I could have that experience then, or if anyone could,
it wasn't a fleeting thing, it was true. The last and truest thought I think you could have, using a conceptual mind.
Then 'who knows?'

I don't know what's going to happen. I'm pretty tired of nothing, but I know something's going to happen. In the meanwhile I'm changing every day, so that's happening.
And every week it feels dramatic if I can even think back a week. There's barely time to integrate anything.
It must be for some purpose or reason.

I don't exclude the possibility of death, but it isn't the first thing I consider. The possibility of 'real life' looms as well.
That's actually what I was working for, and never really acknowledged that it might possibly one day occur.
I had a preview once, for 4 days. And it's far far more than anything my tiny identity could have known to ask for.
That seemingly happened because I admitted that I was f'd, and I wasn't going to be able to charm my way safe again.
I was fully ruined as an identity.
Big spiritual deal.
I just went and made up a series of new better identities and wasted a lot of time.
The 'spiritual' identity was the biggest joke. Took the biggest stick to beat it out of me.

How it arrives (life or death) would be as bizarre and unexpected as anything else has been for the last 4 years. 22 years really.
No, 56 years. WTF?
Including the exquisitely enjoyable and the not-so-enjoyable,
and downright impossibly devastating.
It's all been okay. I made a lot of good friends.

What do you read? 'Hit the wall'? 'Suicide note'? 'Super out-there spiritual wisdom'? It doesn't matter to me, it might matter to you.
I love you for caring enough about whoever wrote the thread, to chime in.
Consolations and advice and acknowledgements all pleasurably accepted.

At least it's an adventure.










Hi MarkPierre and thanks for sharing your thoughts.


My view..


But I have to always remember when I post anything, that a lot more people read these things, than just the guys we've gotten to know. It's a big responsibility.

That, my friend is just a thought of fear. You are just expressing your experience, it's neither right or wrong, good or bad. You are who you are, right?
The mind will remind you many things, it's what a mind does. Being aware, is choosing what to do, being controlled, is doing what you're told.
Be aware of your thoughts, and you are making the choice.



I think my karma is pretty caught up right now, I don't want to mess it up.

What can you mess up?, what is just is, what happens just happens. You deal with whatever happens when it happens, the best way you know in that moment.
Believe the thought, that tells you otherwise, is just a thought.


It was sweet and lovely and graceful, and my body relaxed for the first time in weeks. I fully realized that if I could have that experience then, or if anyone could,
it wasn't a fleeting thing, it was true. The last and truest thought I think you could have, using a conceptual mind.
Then 'who knows?'

The experience you had, was that you stop using your mind, just for a moment. When you stop thinking your at peace, you are always at peace.
Most people don't understand this, because they use their mind to think up a solution. It's how our mind have been conditioned by the system we live in.
And if you want to experience this experience again, you will never experience it, Because then you are using your mind again, to get where you never can get.

This is how we are suffering, by being trapped by the mind that promised us everything that it never can give us.


It must be for some purpose or reason.

Yes, you are about to find out who you already are, that is what drives us all.


I just went and made up a series of new better identities and wasted a lot of time.
The 'spiritual' identity was the biggest joke. Took the biggest stick to beat it out of me.

It's all necessary, it's through these experience we become more aware.



At least it's an adventure.

The greatest one there is, from my view..



..8..

[ulli]

I just love it when nothing matters. Shrug, and the load falls.
Running free.....

[WhiteFeather]

It doesn't matter what happens to me.

Sounds like you're not afraid of death, markpierre.

No FEAR. Two strong words when combined in this order.

[Sidney]

Several years ago, my best friend (who was not my best friend at that time, only an aquaintance) attempted suicide. At the last minute she called for help and was saved (short version of the story)...
That evening, her husband lectured her and ridiculed what a stupid thing it was, and how bad it would "look" if people found out, and how much money it was going to cost for her to get professional help.etc.etc.

He did not say he loved her, or ask if she was ok, what he could do to help, or even what drove her to it. Turns out, he took drugs, and had "silent rages", where he ignored her for weeks and months at a time. She was in so much emotional pain, and felt like such unimportance and such lack of self worth, suicide ,she thought, was her only way to escape that pain.

Aside from her son, she said she knows now, the only person who would have cared if she lived or died was her dog. Not even her mother... AND, She also knew in those hours after her husbands cruel lecture, her marriage was over, and it was.



Moral of this story is, I think, without even asking, we know who we matter to, and who we don't. If they don't care for us while we are here, why would they care if we are gone???

[markpierre]

Hi MarkPierre and thanks for sharing your thoughts.


My view..


But I have to always remember when I post anything, that a lot more people read these things, than just the guys we've gotten to know. It's a big responsibility.

That, my friend is just a thought of fear. You are just expressing your experience, it's neither right or wrong, good or bad. You are who you are, right?
The mind will remind you many things, it's what a mind does. Being aware, is choosing what to do, being controlled, is doing what you're told.
Be aware of your thoughts, and you are making the choice.



I think my karma is pretty caught up right now, I don't want to mess it up.

What can you mess up?, what is just is, what happens just happens. You deal with whatever happens when it happens, the best way you know in that moment.
Believe the thought, that tells you otherwise, is just a thought.


It was sweet and lovely and graceful, and my body relaxed for the first time in weeks. I fully realized that if I could have that experience then, or if anyone could,
it wasn't a fleeting thing, it was true. The last and truest thought I think you could have, using a conceptual mind.
Then 'who knows?'

The experience you had, was that you stop using your mind, just for a moment. When you stop thinking your at peace, you are always at peace.
Most people don't understand this, because they use their mind to think up a solution. It's how our mind have been conditioned by the system we live in.
And if you want to experience this experience again, you will never experience it, Because then you are using your mind again, to get where you never can get.

This is how we are suffering, by being trapped by the mind that promised us everything that it never can give us.


It must be for some purpose or reason.

Yes, you are about to find out who you already are, that is what drives us all.


I just went and made up a series of new better identities and wasted a lot of time.
The 'spiritual' identity was the biggest joke. Took the biggest stick to beat it out of me.

It's all necessary, it's through these experience we become more aware.



At least it's an adventure.

The greatest one there is, from my view..


..8..

Thanks for all the correction <8>. I feel much better now. Can you remind the nurse on your way to the toilet that she forgot to give me my pill?

[<8>]

Several years ago, my best friend (who was not my best friend at that time, only an aquaintance) attempted suicide. At the last minute she called for help and was saved (short version of the story)...
That evening, her husband lectured her and ridiculed what a stupid thing it was, and how bad it would "look" if people found out, and how much money it was going to cost for her to get professional help.etc.etc.

He did not say he loved her, or ask if she was ok, what he could do to help, or even what drove her to it. Turns out, he took steroids, and had "silent rages", where he ignored her for weeks and months at a time. She was in so much emotional pain, and felt like such unimportance and such lack of self worth, suicide ,she thought, was her only way to escape that pain.

Aside from her son, she said she knows now, the only person who would have cared if she lived or died was her dog. Not even her mother... AND, She also knew in those hours after her husbands cruel lecture, her marriage was over, and it was.



Moral of this story is, I think, without even asking, we know who we matter to, and who we don't. If they don't care for us while we are here, why would they care if we are gone???




Hi and thanks Starchild..

I do have compassion or else I would not try to express what I know to be the truth.

But as the threads name suggests: "It Doesn't Matter What Happens to Me." Actually this applies to everyone.
I totally understand that a person who are not aware, what he or she is, cannot appreciate this.
But no one of us are the body we experience, and it's only the mind who makes us suffer mentally and physically.

I know we are all, at peace always, its the mind who let us experience all the horror and beauty.
So in that view, it doesn't matter. But at the same time, we are love in our core, so even though I know it's not real, I do feel compassion.



..8..

[<8>]

Hi MarkPierre and thanks for sharing your thoughts.


My view..


But I have to always remember when I post anything, that a lot more people read these things, than just the guys we've gotten to know. It's a big responsibility.

That, my friend is just a thought of fear. You are just expressing your experience, it's neither right or wrong, good or bad. You are who you are, right?
The mind will remind you many things, it's what a mind does. Being aware, is choosing what to do, being controlled, is doing what you're told.
Be aware of your thoughts, and you are making the choice.



I think my karma is pretty caught up right now, I don't want to mess it up.

What can you mess up?, what is just is, what happens just happens. You deal with whatever happens when it happens, the best way you know in that moment.
Believe the thought, that tells you otherwise, is just a thought.


It was sweet and lovely and graceful, and my body relaxed for the first time in weeks. I fully realized that if I could have that experience then, or if anyone could,
it wasn't a fleeting thing, it was true. The last and truest thought I think you could have, using a conceptual mind.
Then 'who knows?'

The experience you had, was that you stop using your mind, just for a moment. When you stop thinking your at peace, you are always at peace.
Most people don't understand this, because they use their mind to think up a solution. It's how our mind have been conditioned by the system we live in.
And if you want to experience this experience again, you will never experience it, Because then you are using your mind again, to get where you never can get.

This is how we are suffering, by being trapped by the mind that promised us everything that it never can give us.


It must be for some purpose or reason.

Yes, you are about to find out who you already are, that is what drives us all.


I just went and made up a series of new better identities and wasted a lot of time.
The 'spiritual' identity was the biggest joke. Took the biggest stick to beat it out of me.

It's all necessary, it's through these experience we become more aware.



At least it's an adventure.

The greatest one there is, from my view..


..8..

Thanks for all the correction <8>. I feel much better now. Can you remind the nurse on your way to the toilet that she forgot to give me my pill?












You are welcome my friend.

Blue or red pill?
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcROuB8qYfYtP1Ji512TAGniAv7Ec8jQZcxSKLto34-cXonnWfKZ4r9b6sSKiQ

[westhill]

I didn't believe you.
If you really meant it we wouldn't know about it.
I'm glad you care.

[markpierre]

Doesn't look like anybody is reading the book :p

Reading it? Maybe not consciously, but living it. Comprehending it? Not sure, that's what I would hope to discover or offer to.
Presumptuous I know.




Hi and thanks Starchild..

I do have compassion or else I would not try to express what I know to be the truth.

But as the threads name suggests: "It Doesn't Matter What Happens to Me." Actually this applies to everyone.
I totally understand that a person who are not aware, what he or she is, cannot appreciate this.
But no one of us are the body we experience, and it's only the mind who makes us suffer mentally and physically.

I know we are all, at peace always, its the mind who let us experience all the horror and beauty.
So in that view, it doesn't matter. But at the same time, we are love in our core, so even though I know it's not real, I do feel compassion.

..8..

That post was brilliant <B>. You were exactly with me.
And thanks for pointing out the need to express what we 'know as truth'.
It seems to be a necessary part of the discovery of the distinction between 'truth' and 'belief'. 'Knowing', and the mandate to represent that, and growingly 'only that'.
Not many (as yet) are interested in, or hungry enough to not be confronted or confused by it.
How exactly did that occur in us? I don't know, only that it did.
Because 'the book' is about a discovery, and every page is leading up to it.

btw, I liked your other post. It said some great things. You just need to learn which 'person' you want to write in, so that you don't become patronizing.
I make that mistake alot.
(more unsolicited advice. love ya mate)

[markpierre]

Several years ago, my best friend (who was not my best friend at that time, only an aquaintance) attempted suicide. At the last minute she called for help and was saved (short version of the story)...
That evening, her husband lectured her and ridiculed what a stupid thing it was, and how bad it would "look" if people found out, and how much money it was going to cost for her to get professional help.etc.etc.

He did not say he loved her, or ask if she was ok, what he could do to help, or even what drove her to it. Turns out, he took steroids, and had "silent rages", where he ignored her for weeks and months at a time. She was in so much emotional pain, and felt like such unimportance and such lack of self worth, suicide ,she thought, was her only way to escape that pain.

Aside from her son, she said she knows now, the only person who would have cared if she lived or died was her dog. Not even her mother... AND, She also knew in those hours after her husbands cruel lecture, her marriage was over, and it was.



Moral of this story is, I think, without even asking, we know who we matter to, and who we don't. If they don't care for us while we are here, why would they care if we are gone???

starchild111 my favorite avatar. The little bugger should be tired. Imagine having his job.
Oh, you do.

I thought your post was a tangent, but it doesn't feel like it is. Maybe there are other morals to the story as well, I hear something a bit different.

This may seem off in another direction again, but I don't think so. If it's confusing, that's understandable. But <8> should like this story.
It reminded me of a memory of an experience in a different lifetime that's directly linked to several key times and key issues throughout this life.
This one is the important one right? The last lap around the track? That other life at this point doesn't matter.
See? There have been lots of them.
This one we think we're discussing, and sometimes forgetting to include the whole of us, is another one of them.
I had to let go then, the same as now.

The memory was in a war, watching bullet tracers coming directly at my face, and knowing that was the direction I had to move.
No other possible choice.
And the 'choice' that I made or realized was that I was dead. Hope left me.
From there I got up and did whatever there was to be done miraculously or not, and I survived that experience.
Awful scenario, and the images got far worse before that life ended a few days after.

But I needed that experience under those available circumstances in order to be able to utilize what it taught me,
now, when I REALLY need it.

It was only available then. It was in a script. A script can be altered, but the storyline has a direction and an intention.
The Soul has key issues to address, but it isn't one lifetime,
it's all of them combined.
And I'm sure there were a lot of 'loved ones' in that lifetime as well, (or not) but in that moment when I needed to be alone and make my own decision, I was alone and I made it.
That was the most important thing.
'Dying' has been extremely useful too.

One of the tricky things in healing work, is the mandate to 'allow'. We can actually interfere with something that needs to occur.
I did that once, but only once. I doubted my motive which was good because that was wrong,
and it happened anyway which proved me right. I firmly learned the lesson that way.

But my motive would have been judged to be the right one by most everyone else that I've met so far.
We don't (and we can't imagine) what anything is for.

Take a nap....you earned it.

[Sidney]

Several years ago, my best friend (who was not my best friend at that time, only an aquaintance) attempted suicide. At the last minute she called for help and was saved (short version of the story)...
That evening, her husband lectured her and ridiculed what a stupid thing it was, and how bad it would "look" if people found out, and how much money it was going to cost for her to get professional help.etc.etc.

He did not say he loved her, or ask if she was ok, what he could do to help, or even what drove her to it. Turns out, he took steroids, and had "silent rages", where he ignored her for weeks and months at a time. She was in so much emotional pain, and felt like such unimportance and such lack of self worth, suicide ,she thought, was her only way to escape that pain.

Aside from her son, she said she knows now, the only person who would have cared if she lived or died was her dog. Not even her mother... AND, She also knew in those hours after her husbands cruel lecture, her marriage was over, and it was.



Moral of this story is, I think, without even asking, we know who we matter to, and who we don't. If they don't care for us while we are here, why would they care if we are gone???

starchild111 my favorite avatar. The little bugger should be tired. Imagine having his job.
Oh, you do.

I thought your post was a tangent, but it doesn't feel like it is. Maybe there are other morals to the story as well, I hear something a bit different.

This may seem off in another direction again, but I don't think so. If it's confusing, that's understandable. But <8> should like this story.
It reminded me of a memory of an experience in a different lifetime that's directly linked to several key times and key issues throughout this life.
This one is the important one right? The last lap around the track? That other life at this point doesn't matter.
See? There have been lots of them.
This one we think we're discussing, and sometimes forgetting to include the whole of us, is another one of them.
I had to let go then, the same as now.

The memory was in a war, watching bullet tracers coming directly at my face, and knowing that was the direction I had to move.
No other possible choice.
And the 'choice' that I made or realized was that I was dead. Hope left me.
From there I got up and did whatever there was to be done miraculously or not, and I survived that experience.
Awful scenario, and the images got far worse before that life ended a few days after.

But I needed that experience under those available circumstances in order to be able to utilize what it taught me,
now, when I REALLY need it.

It was only available then. It was in a script. A script can be altered, but the storyline has a direction and an intention. The Soul has key issues to address, but it isn't one lifetime, it's all of them combined.
And I'm sure there were a lot of 'loved ones' in that lifetime as well, (or not) but in that moment when I needed to be alone and make my own decision, I was alone and I made it.
That was the most important thing.
'Dying' has been extremely useful too.

One of the tricky things in healing work, is the mandate to 'allow'. It can actually interfere with something that needs to occur.
I did that once, but only once. I doubted my motive which was good because that was wrong,
and it happened anyway which proved me right. I firmly learned the lesson that way.

But my motive would have been judged to be the right one by most everyone else that I've met so far.
We don't (and we can't imagine) what anything is for.

Take a nap....you earned it.

OH Wow- I get it now. Nope, that was not a rant, but I think that I maybe mis-interpreted your thread as something different that what it is. Meaning the difference between mattering- and mattering to people. Two totally different things.

But your posting here, I totally get, especially after watching the movie "Mr. Nobody". Because that movie is exactly that, which is all the lives combined. (sort of), but it can be translated differently. Its an excellent watch. I credit Jorr Lundstrom for originally posting it on here.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=FZdQGx5jPlo

[Carolin]

It's not fun. Nothing that's occurring is fun, unless you can find fun in distractions. But you can't escape.
And that's the blessing of this moment in time. A roller coaster ride is designed to be scary. I got on, but I won't be getting off until the ride is fully over.
Not this time.

I love roller coasters!! It's fun because I know it's not real. It's only an illusion that we are going to go off the rails or fall out of our seats. I'm securely strapped in and just around the corner is the end of the ride. Then I'm going to go get some cotton candy or I might get back in line to have another ride. I truly enjoy the ride even though it makes me scream and cry.

Love
C

[markpierre]

It's not fun. Nothing that's occurring is fun, unless you can find fun in distractions. But you can't escape.
And that's the blessing of this moment in time. A roller coaster ride is designed to be scary. I got on, but I won't be getting off until the ride is fully over.
Not this time.

I love roller coasters!! It's fun because I know it's not real. It's only an illusion that we are going to go off the rails or fall out of our seats. I'm securely strapped in and just around the corner is the end of the ride. Then I'm going to go get some cotton candy or I might get back in line to have another ride. I truly enjoy the ride even though it makes me scream and cry.

Love
C

Thanks Caroline, what a great friend.
What you're saying, or what I get from it is that it doesn't matter which roller coaster or ride we got on,
or how terrifying or benign the illusion of 'not being safe'.
The secret of safe passage is to remember that we willingly got on that ride,
and we willingly get off.
It doesn't matter if we forgot we're simply in an experience, no matter how completely we've bought into the illusion that
we're somewhere other than at the carnival.
We're always safe.
We traveled there from home (a Self), and home is where we return.

[seehas]

thanks for the reminder mark, great grounder if the soap opera gets to real again ;)


here a quote i realy like: we are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beeings having a human experience.

[Carolin]

Thanks for sharing that Starchild (and Jorr). It made an afternoon of paperwork less painful.

[scanner]

What will be , will be .

[Carolin]

It's not fun. Nothing that's occurring is fun, unless you can find fun in distractions. But you can't escape.
And that's the blessing of this moment in time. A roller coaster ride is designed to be scary. I got on, but I won't be getting off until the ride is fully over.
Not this time.

I love roller coasters!! It's fun because I know it's not real. It's only an illusion that we are going to go off the rails or fall out of our seats. I'm securely strapped in and just around the corner is the end of the ride. Then I'm going to go get some cotton candy or I might get back in line to have another ride. I truly enjoy the ride even though it makes me scream and cry.

Love
C

Thanks Caroline, what a great friend.
What you're saying, or what I get from it is that it doesn't matter which roller coaster or ride we got on,
or how terrifying or benign the illusion of 'not being safe'.
The secret of safe passage is to remember that we willingly got on that ride,
and we willingly get off.
It doesn't matter if we forgot we're simply in an experience, no matter how completely we've bought into the illusion that
we're somewhere other than at the carnival.
We're always safe.
We traveled there from home (a Self), and home is where we return.

Mark don't forget your cotton candy, you deserve a treat!!
Love
C

[nearing]

I think we all give each other support to carry on in this life because we don't want to suffer it alone. I also thi that we tell ourselves how much we 'love' this life or being alive precisely because we are amnesic about what lays on the other side.

Yep, I think Earth is a tough school and most of us are not good students and hate school. We can't wait to be freed from the drudgery of school and enjoy our summer vacation!

[<8>]

Thanks for a great thread Mark,mate.

I do understand that what we express can hurt emotionally, even though I have no ill intent.
Even though I clearly get a response from the ego mind, (some times) there may also be an realization, but it make time for it to sink in.

I can find myself in a situation, there I just feel very strong emotions, why is not this guy getting it, its so clear. But then I realize, it's my emotion, people are free to express whatever the like.
If you are aware that people are mirrors to what baggage you have within yourself, you can start cleaning up yourself .

I would like to take this opportunity to say that I love you.


..8..

[markpierre]

Thanks for a great thread Mark,mate.

I do understand that what we express can hurt emotionally, even though I have no ill intent.
Even though I clearly get a response from the ego mind, (some times) there may also be an realization, but it make time for it to sink in.

I can find myself in a situation, there I just feel very strong emotions, why is not this guy getting it, its so clear. But then I realize, it's my emotion, people are free to express whatever the like.
If you are aware that people are mirrors to what baggage you have within yourself, you can start cleaning up yourself .

I would like to take this opportunity to say that I love you.


..8..

Hey thanks pal. Just for you:

g6YKsDuV8lk

[Carolin]

I just love those synchronicities!!! This video was in the "Who is it" thread started by ljwheat. It has Bill Hicks in it talking about the world just being a ride. There are a few other awesome videos on that thread.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bA_nDLM_xko

[Rocky_Shorz]

one of my favorite Jewels...

in the end, only Kindness matters...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk0bKfC8XSE