Top Five Regrets of the Dying

[eileenrose]

Very eye opening....what people regret when they die.
Makes you wonder.....what if....

Title: Top five Regrets of the Dying
source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

snip

Top five regrets of the dying

A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

end snip

Since I don't understand copy write laws...I didn't post the entire document. There are two more wishes of the dying....just go to the link (unless a moderator has another way to do this) to read these (or perhaps someone else post them???).

[sdv]

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[ThePythonicCow]

If the article is available freely online from the publisher, then it is not a violation of copyright laws to post it here for others to read, as long as you give full source details.
Copyright laws do not specify that, rather they grant the copyright owner the right to specify that. The copyright owner can specify how their copyright material may be used. The owner is well within their rights to post it on the web for free access, and deny anyone the right to post it somewhere else on the web.

[markpierre]

Hey I can have all of those regrets right now, and plan a better time for my stay in 'the little green room'.

Just remind me to change my socks before I go, or I'll have another regret.

[<8>]

If the article is available freely online from the publisher, then it is not a violation of copyright laws to post it here for others to read, as long as you give full source details.
Copyright laws do not specify that, rather they grant the copyright owner the right to specify that. The copyright owner can specify how their copyright material may be used. The owner is well within their rights to post it on the web for free access, and deny anyone the right to post it somewhere else on the web.



Thanks for clearing that up Paul, it sounded weird, if I may say so.



Back to topic.

I think there are few who really do what they want to do, because you can't really live life.
I know it's what we have been conditioned to believe, but think about it, if you stand on your two hands, is that living life?
Or if you run to the end of the world, is that to live life?, you can't do something you already are.

You are life itself, Its your experience.

Thanks to all the belief systems, most of us have been conditioned to regret what we have done and hoping for something that never comes.
More or less everyone is running the hamster wheel in some way or form, thanks to the conditioning.

If everyone stopped thinking right now, the world would change in one second.
If you think I am wrong, where did that thought come from?

It's all in our minds, were else?
If you don't understand this crucial thing, you will keep looking for whatever you are looking for now, and thinking about the past in whatever way you do.
And most likely feel the way as the main post expressed, when you are on your deathbed.

To break free from your conditioned mind you have to stop believin it NOW, there are no other way.
Feel free to use your mind to think your way out from the very thing that holding you prison. (hamster wheel)



..8..

[Fred Steeves]

If we carry that last day with us daily, it tends to make us more mindful of our thoughts and actions, thus we do our best accordingly. Sure we'll still commit many unforced errors along the way, but to regret them? I don't know about ya'll, but I have a tough time regretting when I know damn well that I was doing the very best I could at the time.

This is very subtle. Being mindful of ourselves along the way, can allow our mistakes to become more as rascly old friends on that last day. Not being mindful along the way, and those mistakes become a very bitter pill to swallow. We make our choice every day, even right now.

Cheers,
Fred

[ulli]

Here is number 4: I wish I had stayed in touch with friends, and

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

[Carmody]

Friends ask me, how can you dissolve anger and bitterness in hours or even minutes? or even as the event occurs?

I reply that... to carry that emotion, that state -will serve no purpose.

And that state will damage my psyche/etc, and shift it's growth and orientation. If I held it and let it grow... I would be going off course compared to how well I might otherwise navigate my life.

And that I fully understand, as best I can, the reality of multidimensionality... and under the guise and body of that internally derived evidence... all of this dropping of negative emotions becomes a necessary and clear choice.

This is not something I had when I originally came here, to this space, it is something that took time to come clear on. We each have pieces of that in us, in my understanding, we simply need to find the method of enacting that clarity within us.

I also did understand that I would grow old and die, even as a 5 year old child..and planned for it, from that time onward. (as a thought/understanding developing in my mind)

[Beren]

One common theme here is that we regret the fact that those who were living the life weren't us.
Liberating is the knowledge of soul and how to be.

System of fear that is still being imbedded into children is the one who is damaging.
It needs to stop.
Now.

Because regrets had made mayhem in other realms beside ours here.

[Fred Steeves]

Friends ask me, how can you dissolve anger and bitterness in hours or even minutes? or even as the event occurs?


Funny you mention this Carmody. There's been a thread slow baking inside my fragile eggshell mind for several months now to be titled "In Real Time", and it's finally just about ready to come out of the oven. You came very close to putting your finger directly on the theme. Thanks for the reminder.http://nexus.2012info.ca/forum/images/smilies/thumb.gif

Cheers,
Fred

[Ernie Nemeth]

My regret is that I gave into my fears and so did not do what I wished to do all along.
It has drained me, and as I get older the strength to overcome that fear has waned.

As for working hard, nope, got that one down real quick. I do what feels right, always have and working myself to the bone don't feel right.
That's why I early on knew I would not be aquiring any wealth in this lifetime since as a slave in a world of slaves, only the hardest workers get anywhere.
And to be truthful, I never saw the point of making myself sick and eternally tired only to own a house, a car and "stuff", hoard money in a bank for my old age, and vacations to faraway lands. Our ancestors did not need that crap, I don't either. As for shelter, our ancestors built these things themselves - in a single season for no cost at all, only the labor involved. Why should I now spend my entire life paying for what was once free?
I'm not sold on this modern life, where I have no choice, no voice and nowhere to go where I can be free to make my way as I see fit. Even the national forests are spoken for. You cannot even go into the wild and live because they'll hunt you down and smash up your home base, perhaps even fine you for your audacity.

On the other hand, I love this life, the real life that most seem to shun. I love my connection to spirit and my spiritual mores. I love exploring the vast vistas of the mind in unconventional ways. I love the individuals I meet. I love my little group of family and friends. I even love my place in the hierarchy within that little world. I love holding the space of higher understanding for those around me that do not understand such things. I love this body, this miraculous organism that responds perfectly to all my needs. I love this reality, this dream, this game. I love the real work I do, most never seen or acknowledged. And I love the hope the future holds for us, the promise as has been set down in print by the sages of old.

So, I hope to overcome my fears and break out of the little box I feel squeezed into before my time is up on this rock. I do not wish to have regrets when I die because regrets mean more work and more lifetimes, here. I do not want to come back here again, unless of course mankind gets its act together and the Golden Age of prosperity and abundance and respect for all life has been established. Then I'd come and spend a short life here just "to get away from it all" - like we do now when we go on vacation...

[Poly Hedra]

I have always thought about death from as early an age as 5/6, I dont know why.
When I read this article I thought it was very interesting to read about these regrets. At the same time I thought, well isnt it a pity that it happens to so many people that way. That they dont realise until its too late. I think the tides are changing soon, I hope. Gradually people will know about this in life and try to stay true to their purpose and in death they will be at peace, knowing that it is all about learning and love, and there is nothing to fear.

[Lettherebelight]

I have always thought about death from as early an age as 5/6, I dont know why.
When I read this article I thought it was very interesting to read about these regrets. At the same time I thought, well isnt it a pity that it happens to so many people that way. That they dont realise until its too late. I think the tides are changing soon, I hope. Gradually people will know about this in life and try to stay true to their purpose and in death they will be at peace, knowing that it is all about learning and love, and there is nothing to fear.

Hi Connec, I too always thought of death, particularly the temporal nature of life. I remember crying at the age of seven, I was feeling very old and wishing I was two again. I have always been keenly aware of the passage of time, and like many here I guess, this has been the catalyst for my search for Truth, and attempting to live my life 'being real'.

Thanks for this thread, Eileenrose. It is very interesting food for thought and a message for all.

[Zencat]

Thank you Eileenrose, for sharing this article and bringing up this important topic. Many thoughts come to mind ....

I lost my wife to cancer seven years ago. I was in the business world when she was diagnosed and we lived in old paradigms as far as communication between partners was concerned. Neither of us really opened up to the other. So, it's not just the dying who miss this opportunity to say what's needed, but also the survivors. I know that I have my own regrets as I'm sure my kids do in terms of what we'd like to have said to my wife as she was dying.

I didn't go back into the business world after she passed. I became a shaman and a healing practitioner. In my shamanic training, we studied and practiced what one would call "Conscious Dying". It is an exquisite practice, which allows us recognize that dying is something that we don't have to fear and that all concerned can find peace.

I am so appreciative for this thread.

[the_vast_mystery]

If the article is available freely online from the publisher, then it is not a violation of copyright laws to post it here for others to read, as long as you give full source details.
Copyright laws do not specify that, rather they grant the copyright owner the right to specify that. The copyright owner can specify how their copyright material may be used. The owner is well within their rights to post it on the web for free access, and deny anyone the right to post it somewhere else on the web.

Realistically speaking copyright law boils down to.
1: How rich is the offended party?
2: How offended are they at what you did?
3: How able are you to afford mounting a legal challenge entirely out of pocket?

While yes posting a snipped for discussion almost certainly falls under fair-use provisions of copyright the danger is that fair use is an affirmative defense in regards to copyright infringement. In other words, it's something you must prove in court. So that means if the person offended were a Rich company, like say, Fox, they could make deciding that case in court so expensive as to bankrupt you and ruin your life anyway if you challenge them. This lets them extort money or just send takedown notices whenever they want, but individuals or small businesses can't afford to so posting this article is probably fine.

But to give an example, they forced a Documentary maker to cut a scene in a Broadway theater where there was someone in the background visibly watching a tiny segment of "The Simpsons." They were willing to take them to court and as a result despite the documentary maker being in the right, they removed that scene rather than attempt to fight Fox in court (getting awarded Attorneys fees is much harder, you essentially have to prove the party suing you literally intended to use the court system to extort you. Proving intent in the case of a major company like that can be much harder.)

[Lifebringer]

I choose to know the truth, but because of versions and Roman Government tampering, we have a partial story of the most important being in our lives. JESUS the Christ and whether half of the revisions and changes and lost books of the bible will ever be included and not biasly controlled.

The one thing they should never have hidden, and they deceived the world.

May they meet the judgement that is due them in rapid time.