Loving Unconditionally

[bekrah]

They say the strongest force in the universe is unconditional love. Love is the ability to get past our selfish desires and want what is truly best for everyone and everything. I think unconditional love is being able to recognize the interconnectedness of everything, and honor it. That is so easier said then done....at least for me.

But it's a place I would like to be someday. It's a place that's easy to see, but it's a hard place to be...to exist in that state permanently must be difficult to say the least. Or perhaps it's deceptively simple. I don't know.

I have heard that to love unconditionally you need to be able to silence the ego. To tell that voice that whispers bitter nothings in your ear to STFU. Silencing the ego seems to be a tremendous task, mine is a damn chatterbox. I have moments of lucidity, moments where I feel that interconnectedness, and I feel at peace. Those are far and few between the moments of rage, and fear, and angst, and pride, and apathy.

I am imperfect. I would like to be free of those feelings, especially the apathy that appears every now and then. I want to be in a place of serenity and peace. A place of forgiveness and unconditional love. I don't think people like coming from a negative wavelength...I know I don't. It's just hard to figure out how to change that sometimes... how do you transmute the spirit?

I actually googled "How to love unconditionally". I realize I really don't know how to do it. I have vague generalized ideas... I could go around blessing people like in that book by Pierre Pradavand...it's a good start, but it seems like I'll do good for about a week or two, then it's back to the same old wavelength I started out at.

The first link I came to when I googled the previously mentioned statement lead me to a wikihow page. http://www.wikihow.com/Love-Unconditionally




Think of love as an action, not a feeling. A feeling is something we get from someone, and when we stop getting it, we often change our behavior somehow. If we have to do something, or be a certain way, in order to receive love, that love is conditional. Instead, if you start thinking of love as the behavior itself, the reward becomes the feeling you get when you act a certain way, not when someone else acts a certain way. And you can continue acting this way all the time, regardless of how other people behave--it becomes an act of generosity. As Stephanie Dowrick says, "love is not love except when it is generous."[2] (http://www.wikihow.com/Love-Unconditionally#_note-1) Feelings can not last, but you can renew them continuously with new actions.This is interesting to me. I like the idea of thinking of love as an action instead of a feeling. Actions are tangible, feelings are confusing. However I wonder if there is a hidden risk of developing an over-active "holier-than-thou" ego with a method like this. Perhaps a way to avoid this pit-fall is to be the silent helper. Do good deeds, but don't let anyone know. Maybe that would feed the soul, while starving out the ego. The other pitfall is lapsing back into the same old habits...something I've been guilty of time and time again.

Always ask yourself, what is the most loving thing I can do for this particular person in this particular moment? Love isn't really one size fits all; what might be a loving act toward one person could be harmful to another person, in that it doesn't help them get closer to becoming a truly happy human being. Unconditional love is a new decision you need to make in every situation, not a hard and fast rule you can apply to everyone all the time.The first thing that jumps out at me with this step is, how the heck are you supposed to know what is best for another person? I guess maybe I'm over-complicating things. I've been accused of doing that before, rightfully so too I suppose. Maybe real love is observing and learning about other people, giving enough of a damn to understand them enough to know what is beneficial. Getting out from under the rock of self-imposed isolation. (This is something I'm pretty guilty of. I frequently would rather be alone, then share my time with other people. I find it exhausting...maybe that's part of the problem?)

Remember that love doesn't mean making sure someone is always comfortable. If you believe loving someone is about fostering their growth, most people acknowledge that pain and discomfort are part of growth, and if you shield someone from all pain or discomfort, you are not loving them. So, don't confuse loving someone with blindly making them comfortable, satisfying their desires, and shielding them from any kind of pain. If you do, you are only making it difficult for them to grow as human beings.This reminds me of that A Perfect Circle song "pet (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrEP3RPgEao)". "Safe from pain, and truth, and choice, and other poison devils, see they don't give a f*** about you, like I do." It's about someone shielding another person from ever experiencing life fully. It's a good song, I think it describes the twisted thought process you sometimes see with situations like this. I'd say this is the problem we have with many gurus, governments, people in positions of power, that they assume they know what is best for everyone, and try to "protect" us with control.

It's insulting really, because you're assuming that person doesn't have the sense to make decisions for his or her self. So I agree with step number 3, however I wonder how you draw the line between necessary and unnecessary discomfort.

Consider that if love is unconditional, it is given to everyone freely, including yourself. Another reason the previous step is important is because if you don't follow it, you're well on your way to becoming a people pleaser, which means you are not being unconditionally loving to yourself. Instead, recognize the times when doing what is best for you will occasionally have you out of sync with another - Maryanne Radmacher calls this understanding "the difference between tolerance and allowing mediocrity a plot in your garden."They say if you can't love yourself, how can you ever expect to love anyone else? I would tend to agree.... I am usually the hardest on myself. If I treated another person the way I treat myself sometimes, I'd probably be in jail for emotional abuse. Maybe this should be step number 1.

(http://www.wikihow.com/Love-Unconditionally#_note-2)

Forgive. Even if someone doesn't apologize (http://www.wikihow.com/Apologize), it's inherently loving to both them and yourself to let go of your anger and resentment toward them. Keep in mind Piero Ferrucci's advice that forgiving "is not something we do, but something we are."[4] (http://www.wikihow.com/Love-Unconditionally#_note-3) Again, don't mistake being willing to forgive for letting people walk all over you. How you act (lovingly) toward the person will vary, but your ability to practice unconditional love will be clouded if you hold on to negative feelings.True forgiveness is a tricky fickle beast. How does one forgive, and let go of the resentment and hurt that another person has caused you? I have forgiven people who've wronged me, but I would be in denial if I said there's no bitter residue lingering just below my thoughts. This one's difficult for me. I have tried looking at the situation from the perspective of the offending person, that helps give some logical insight into the situation, and it helps ease the pain a little, but the scar remains.

Gauge how you feel. If you've ever had a moment when you practiced unconditional love, whether spontaneously or deliberately, you probably felt energized and liberated, not drained and burdened. The more often you feel the the former after acting a certain way, the more you're loving unconditionallyThere was this one time when I was on mushrooms... lol. But seriously... I know I've felt that from time to time...for some reason I can't recall the circumstances, only the feeling it brought...and it was wonderful. Maybe with these steps I can come closer to incorporating that feeling into my daily life. It's something I need, as much as water and air.

[Kindred]

bekrah... Nowhere in your post do you mention meditation. I can only take from this that you don't, but that would be grossly presumptive of me. I'll strongly suggest that This is where you would be best to start so as to begin to 'love unconditionally'. But, it may take a bit of time - I say this from personal experience.

Meditating is the means by which you 'center yourself', and develop the patience and the means by which you can begin to forgive yourself, and then move on to more 'exterior' problems. Primarily, the act of meditation means to 'still your mind'... reduce, and eliminate as best you can, the constant 'chatter' your ego produces to create your inner dialog in it's efforts of 'self-promotion'.

This is just a 'beginning' post, and I encourage you to 'look around', both here on PA, but also look up meditation online. There is much 'out there' to learn from, and it's how I too began to learn the basics. In point of fact, it's been only in the last 3 months or so that I've taken the time to make a concerted effort to meditate on a regular basis, and it's been a Real 'eye-opener'!
Here's a few posts on an earlier thread that speaks directly to this:
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?44893-Message-for-Humanity-2012-Light-Channels-World-Movement
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?42794-The-Great-Cycle-and-Cosmic-Events-2012-by-Pane-Andov&p=486336#post486336
and a link to in5d article on meditation;
http://www.in5d.com/meditation.html

I've found this series to be rather comprehensive and practical. There may be others that are more so, it's best to check around.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0rSmxsVHPE&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL8212AB9676114BB8

I hope all this helps! At minimum, it's a beginning.

In Unity, Peace and Love

[bekrah]

bekrah... Nowhere in your post do you mention meditation. I can only take from this that you don't, but that would be grossly presumptive of me. I'll strongly suggest that This is where you would be best to start so as to begin to 'love unconditionally'. But, it may take a bit of time - I say this from personal experience.

Meditating is the means by which you 'center yourself', and develop the patience and the means by which you can begin to forgive yourself, and then move on to more 'exterior' problems. Primarily, the act of meditation means to 'still your mind'... reduce, and eliminate as best you can, the constant 'chatter' your ego produces to create your inner dialog in it's efforts of 'self-promotion'.

This is just a 'beginning' post, and I encourage you to 'look around', both here on PA, but also look up meditation online. There is much 'out there' to learn from, and it's how I too began to learn the basics. In point of fact, it's been only in the last 3 months or so that I've taken the time to make a concerted effort to meditate on a regular basis, and it's been a Real 'eye-opener'!
Here's a few posts on an earlier thread that speaks directly to this:
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?44893-Message-for-Humanity-2012-Light-Channels-World-Movement
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?42794-The-Great-Cycle-and-Cosmic-Events-2012-by-Pane-Andov&p=486336#post486336
and a link to in5d article on meditation;
http://www.in5d.com/meditation.html

I've found this series to be rather comprehensive and practical. There may be others that are more so, it's best to check around.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0rSmxsVHPE&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL8212AB9676114BB8

I hope all this helps! At minimum, it's a beginning.

In Unity, Peace and Love

Hello, and thanks for the reply! I am familiar with meditation, I didn't think to add it here. (I feel a little silly about that now, but oh well) Honestly, I don't do it as often as I should. I've found what works best for me is actually listening to instrumental music, something relaxing, a good hypnotic beat, but not too intense.

I've tried the breathing meditation method, I've tried focusing on a single image, I've tried the method where you just let your thoughts pass by and not pay them any heed, I've tried meditation CDs, I've tried guided meditation. I have found that with all of these I tend to get bored and the meditation isn't as successful as if I'm just sitting in a resting state listening to music.

Thank you for the links though, I will check them out!

[christian]

How to love - always a hot topic :)

I guess you can add meditation to any topic from golf to building pipe racks out of prunes yada yada :cool:

[bekrah]

How to love - always a hot topic :)

I guess you can add meditation to any topic from golf to building pipe racks out of prunes yada yada :cool:


Hi... I'm just curious about what you meant about always a hot topic. This is one of the draw-backs of forum posting or online communications, the nuances of verbal communication can be lost in translation. Was that sarcasm, or was that more of a "this topic has been beat to death" kind of thing? :)

As far as meditation goes. I prefer trancing out to music myself, it's more natural for me.

[Tony]

The point about meditation, is you take yourself out of the picture.
It is only when 'self' is out of the picture, that love is unconditional.

Love that is unconditional, is a love that does not rely on conditions,
it is naturally there.

It is the same with unconditional happiness, is it a happiness that
does not rely on conditions,
it is naturally there.

One can meditate on compassion.
Try........ OM MANI PEME HUM


Tony

[bekrah]

The point about meditation, is you take yourself out of the picture.
It is only when 'self' is out of the picture, that love is unconditional.

Tony
That does make sense to me. I will try the OM MANI PEME HUM thing too.. out of curiosity, what do those words mean? It sounds really familiar, I think I've heard people use that mantra before. I'm familiar with Om, but the meaning of the other words are less familiar to me.

[we-R-one]

Gosh there's so much to comment about your initial post, but I really gotta get back to work, dang I could stay on here all day! So I'll quickly share my story of unconditional love with you that was an amazing experience for me.

A couple of years ago, about the fall of 2010 I was talking to my twin flame on the phone, who was about 1,000 miles away. I was just experiencing the height of my awakening, which seemed to be going at record pace during this time. I don't have the slightest idea what my twin was saying, but all of a sudden this overwhelming feeling came over me. It was a feeling I had never experienced during this incarnation and yet I knew exactly what it was. It was so tremendous to the point of being almost painful....it lastest about 10 seconds. Had it gone on any longer I think I would have passed out. There are no words to describe what that moment felt like, but there is no doubt in my mind that I was experiencing the true feelings of unconditional love at a magnitude that is not commonly felt here on this planet. I was remembering who I was, who he was and there was no judgment in that moment of time. I wish everyone could have had that experience, because it made me very aware how the word unconditional love is often misused. This was not a sexual thing, nor was it a case of puppy love, just to clarify.

And a side note; many suggest the use of meditation. I couldn't tell you whether that's necessary or not, but I've had some amazing experiences without formal training or any meditation skills, so I wouldn't say it's a requirement as it hasn't held me back from spiritually awaking.

[Tony]

The point about meditation, is you take yourself out of the picture.
It is only when 'self' is out of the picture, that love is unconditional.

Tony
That does make sense to me. I will try the OM MANI PEME HUM thing too.. out of curiosity, what do those words mean? It sounds really familiar, I think I've heard people use that mantra before. I'm familiar with Om, but the meaning of the other words are less familiar to me.


It means Emptiness in Compassion......pure compassion. I go to sleep saying it, and wake in the morning with it going round in my mind. There are tunes to it on youtube.
I'll try and find one. It is the mantra of Chenrezi the Lord of compassion. It empowers one's own compassion.


Sleep well,
Tony


There is a meditation group here with much information, and you can ask questions to your hearts content.

[bekrah]

Thanks Tony for the clarification, I will try that. :)

[tonius]

Thanks for this thread bekrah, i have had these questions about the meaning of ''unconditional love'' myself. I think of love in general as the end result of other procesess , as something you can't force.

What do i mean ? Suppose you are in a situation where you don't feel so ''loving'' , about someone or something, is ''telling yourself'' or forcing yourself to be more loving ''true love'' ? or its just an attempt to align yourself with a concept you heard somewhere, in the hope that eventually this ''faking'' will become real. Should one feel ''ashamed'' that such loving is not taking place , dont think so. If one begins practicing ''unconditional love'' he/she is trying to build a home begining from the roof.

The fact one isn't in such ''loving'' state means one still has things to figure out about one's self, understand whats going under the surface, and once understanding becomes greater about one's self and his suroundings than eventually ''unconditional love'' becomes more present, it needs a solid foundation, ''loving unconditionally'' in a form of ''action'' oriented template is like walking on glass pieces barefoot and tricking your mind into thinking its grass and flowers. Would one ''naturally'' do it ? No.

If you dont feel ''loving'' enough in a certain situation there is nothing you can do about it , in the sense there is no way you can ''force'' yourself to love more, it just means that at that certain point in your evolution, given the understanding you have about yourself and what is out there, that's the best you can do, no right nor wrong. Any attempt to artificially ''project love'', as is usually advised everywhere,for me is just a distortion of what is really happening, is blaming yourself. Just understanding this is the the first tile in this foundation, i , at least never think i have to love more, what i try doing is understanding more and better why these ''disconected'' states take place, what are the factors contributing to these states of being, and every day i learn new things, undertand more and this way what we call love comes more naturally, i see love as the natural ''glue'' between the ''me'' and the all there is, and all its forms alltogether, i see it as the ultimate calm , no ''question mark'' land.

Are there different levels of this state? of course there are , the thing is i don't aim for ''unconditional love'' in itself, in fact i dont even like the word love in itself ( from the gramatical point of view) , and dont even use it, but what it rappresents in my mind is ''understanding'' , the fact is the ''understanding '' is more powerful for me, i can understand we are all different manifastations of the same thing, i mean truly understand, know it, and at the same time give myself the freedom of choosing not to be in the presence of certain manifestations, being it characters or events, in this giant theatre , and not feel guilty.

From the moment this ''play'' took place, the moment what ''all there is'' ( you, me...) decided to fake this seperation for the sake of experience , to play in different dimensions and densities, hug or shoot each other, spread knowledge or slavey, we are always ''chosing'' , thats the keyword, i see unconditional love as chosing to accept the ''fakeness'' of all this, really understanting it, yet being playful and not too serious about it, if we really think we are all one then whats the worst that can happen.

[scanner]

This one does it for me
http://youtu.be/nDOlGqqCb2Y


http://youtu.be/nDOlGqqCb2Y

[bekrah]

tonius,

What you say resonates a lot, and I think you have just brought me some understanding as well; to not be so hard on ones-self if you're having a hard time being "loving", it just means there's something else yet to learn. This is really all just a learning experience at the end of the day. We can't come into this reality expecting to be fully enlightened and knowing all there is to know, what's the fun in that, and moreover, what would be the point? You have reminded me that this is an experience. Thank you for your post.

[Ontarioguy]

There was once a feeling that overcame me as well that I must share. This took place roughly 10 years ago. I was actually attending a church service with a friend, and while bowing my head in prayer, my eyes lightly closed, all of a sudden I felt as if my chair was being hoisted wayyyyyy up and VERY fasttttt the feeling as I can best describe was that of when you are on a roller coaster or to a lesser extent, in a car going along a hilly road...where as you come up the hill and than head down, your stomache feels left on top..lol. That type of feeling....and very intense I might add....yet it was sooo soooooo very beautiful at the same time. Since then I have been having much more optimism in life I have found..and well..just an overwhelming sense of knowing that "tomorrow will take care of itself" etc. I think loving unconditionally is a state of being in life that can be achieved....yes....though even once achieved, I believe that it can slip out of reach again too...if a person becomes "beat down" too often and for too long. I might be proven wrong...but as well if it is lost in time..I do believe it can be reclaimed as well again too. In all ....it is a MIND SET. You practise taking control of your mind..and make it up to love unconditionally. Period!

[Lettherebelight]

It is said that the closest thing in this world to pure, unconditional love, is the love of a mother for her child.

[Falcor]

I am imperfect. I would like to be free of those feelings, especially the apathy that appears every now and then. I want to be in a place of serenity and peace. A place of forgiveness and unconditional love. I don't think people like coming from a negative wavelength...I know I don't. It's just hard to figure out how to change that sometimes... how do you transmute the spirit?
being imperfect is only to run from who we truly are. we are absolutely perfect the way we are, yet we view ourselves as having flaws. it is okay to be upset, angry, jealous, greedy...... you find love for yourself by acknowledging and loving all of your being. do not deny any part of your being, we have all been led to believe we must look away from that which we find ugly about ourselves. but you MUST love all of that which you are! there is no other way to love 'out there' without starting first with yourself. once you find this love and forgiveness for yourself, you will naturally begin to extend it to others

dont change by trying to change. that will never work. you transmute by acknowledging that your behavior is a concious choice that you are making. it is not the world outside of you which shapes your perspective, it is simply up to you and what you choose to tune into. and how long you choose to tune into it before. your beliefs can be very powerful


They say if you can't love yourself, how can you ever expect to love anyone else? I would tend to agree.... I am usually the hardest on myself. If I treated another person the way I treat myself sometimes, I'd probably be in jail for emotional abuse. Maybe this should be step number 1.
agree :)


True forgiveness is a tricky fickle beast. How does one forgive, and let go of the resentment and hurt that another person has caused you? I have forgiven people who've wronged me, but I would be in denial if I said there's no bitter residue lingering just below my thoughts. This one's difficult for me. I have tried looking at the situation from the perspective of the offending person, that helps give some logical insight into the situation, and it helps ease the pain a little, but the scar remains.

the power to forgive can stems from many areas. attachment and love are two different things, and i would recommend that even if you feel like you understand that, you still contemplate it more. always acknowledge the parts you played..... the behavior and actions you have chose. there are 2 sides to forgiveness, and one is to forgive yourself.

it can be a helpful exercise to actually sit down and go in and feel all of your unfinished business. feel the feelings behind every person or event that has ever hurt you, and just sit in those feelings. dont run away from them. with practice, you can make peace with ALL of it!! forgive others, and forgive yourself :)


There was this one time when I was on mushrooms... lol. But seriously... I know I've felt that from time to time...for some reason I can't recall the circumstances, only the feeling it brought...and it was wonderful. Maybe with these steps I can come closer to incorporating that feeling into my daily life. It's something I need, as much as water and air. I know exactly what you mean (i hope! lol) and i would 110% recommend you meditate atleast 20-30minutes a day. squeeze it somewhere into your routine

at the end of the day. all of the answers are inside you, should you take the time to get to know you a little better :)

my take on meditation -
ive spent all the years of my seeking with my ego, and rarely taking time to actually sit, meditate, and feel.....much time ive spent contemplating, reading etc........ just when i think i understand my ego, it becomes more advanced. you start running around in circles. finally the right words struck thru to my being that allowed me to take that next step, which was to abandon the search with my mind/ego (they are one and the same). the message was there from the beginning, but i wasnt ready to hear it.

my thinking is.....you can slowly bring the many parts of your ego to your awareness until the message gets thru, or you can just work right through to transcend it (through meditation). but it seems that meditation has to come somewhere along the path, and thats why the advanced recommend it from the get go.

[bekrah]

There was once a feeling that overcame me as well that I must share. This took place roughly 10 years ago. I was actually attending a church service with a friend, and while bowing my head in prayer, my eyes lightly closed, all of a sudden I felt as if my chair was being hoisted wayyyyyy up and VERY fasttttt the feeling as I can best describe was that of when you are on a roller coaster or to a lesser extent, in a car going along a hilly road...where as you come up the hill and than head down, your stomache feels left on top..lol. That type of feeling....and very intense I might add....yet it was sooo soooooo very beautiful at the same time. Since then I have been having much more optimism in life I have found..and well..just an overwhelming sense of knowing that "tomorrow will take care of itself" etc. I think loving unconditionally is a state of being in life that can be achieved....yes....though even once achieved, I believe that it can slip out of reach again too...if a person becomes "beat down" too often and for too long. I might be proven wrong...but as well if it is lost in time..I do believe it can be reclaimed as well again too. In all ....it is a MIND SET. You practise taking control of your mind..and make it up to love unconditionally. Period!


That's an interesting story. I'm happy you had that experience and it was so powerfully positive for you. I think you're right about being a mindset, I like how you think!

[bekrah]

[QUOTE=bekrah;516915]
being imperfect is only to run from who we truly are. we are absolutely perfect the way we are, yet we view ourselves as having flaws. it is okay to be upset, angry, jealous, greedy...... you find love for yourself by acknowledging and loving all of your being. do not deny any part of your being, we have all been led to believe we must look away from that which we find ugly about ourselves. but you MUST love all of that which you are! there is no other way to love 'out there' without starting first with yourself. once you find this love and forgiveness for yourself, you will naturally begin to extend it to others

dont change by trying to change. that will never work. you transmute by acknowledging that your behavior is a concious choice that you are making. it is not the world outside of you which shapes your perspective, it is simply up to you and what you choose to tune into. and how long you choose to tune into it before. your beliefs can be very powerful
So, are you saying you have to accept and love the parts of yourself that you might not like, instead of denying their existence, or fighting their existence so that you may take responsibility for them? I guess if you're in denial about something it's hard to change it. If you never face it, you can never grow..


the power to forgive can stems from many areas. attachment and love are two different things, and i would recommend that even if you feel like you understand that, you still contemplate it more. always acknowledge the parts you played..... the behavior and actions you have chose. there are 2 sides to forgiveness, and one is to forgive yourself.

it can be a helpful exercise to actually sit down and go in and feel all of your unfinished business. feel the feelings behind every person or event that has ever hurt you, and just sit in those feelings. dont run away from them. with practice, you can make peace with ALL of it!! forgive others, and forgive yourself :) I think this is something I should do more. I've done mental excercises where I go backward in time and try to re-live each experience from the other person's perspective, however I have never lingered very long on each instance. It was kind of a jump from one to the next thing. Maybe give each experience it's due examination. I also never added forgiving myself into the equation...this is something to think about.


I know exactly what you mean (i hope! lol) and i would 110% recommend you meditate atleast 20-30minutes a day. squeeze it somewhere into your routine

at the end of the day. all of the answers are inside you, should you take the time to get to know you a little better :)

my take on meditation -
ive spent all the years of my seeking with my ego, and rarely taking time to actually sit, meditate, and feel.....much time ive spent contemplating, reading etc........ just when i think i understand my ego, it becomes more advanced. you start running around in circles. finally the right words struck thru to my being that allowed me to take that next step, which was to abandon the search with my mind/ego (they are one and the same). the message was there from the beginning, but i wasnt ready to hear it.

my thinking is.....you can slowly bring the many parts of your ego to your awareness until the message gets thru, or you can just work right through to transcend it (through meditation). but it seems that meditation has to come somewhere along the path, and thats why the advanced recommend it from the get go.I suppose meditation wouldn't be so highly regarded if it didn't do something for people. I think I will follow the advice posted by some of the people here, and meditate before bed... I think that would be the best time of day for me to do it, doesn't hurt to try and make it more of a routine...it's been sketchy at best thus far... kinda like when the mood strikes me I might do it, but I've never followed a routine of doing it for a set amount of time each day. Point taken :)

Thanks Falcor for your input. :)

[Ontarioguy]

Yes bekrah , thanks, and it truly is a mindset. You SET YOUR MIND to it...or well you practise setting your mind to it. In my case yes this experience did have a profound effect on me. Yet as I mentioned above, the state of being where one loves unconditionally, can become out of reach....as has been slightly my experience as well. Ya see, I have gone through a period about three years after that experience, and I began to feel "beaten down" by the system. I got tired. We all get tired don't we. Well I began to find myself in a different state of being again. Almost back to that young teen who was impatient and filled with EGO. I was lucky to have recognized that. Having known the JOY of how I felt after that initial prayer experience....I wanted that state of being back!!! And so I began to catch myself when I would be judging another or when I was not acting out of love to another etc.....and boy I still catch myself to this day. I am NOT perfect by far...but I work on being in that state as often as I can and it is coming more naturally lately. Yeah I still get down some days.....you bet. And yeah I am like everyone else....tired of this worldy system we live in and wanting to be freed from it. In the meantime I just keep on keepin on and enjoy each day as best I am able to. I gotta share here too that when I had that initial experience 10 years ago, that the pastor of the church at that time when I approached him as to what it might have been....he said he feels that I had an "angelic visitation" and that it is something to be excited about. All I know is that it was an awesome feeling...as if being lifted by wings....into the air...and it was that great that I did not want to open my eyes after the prayer...hahaha. I have not had any such experience since then again.

[spiritguide]

The knowledge you seek will materialize in due time. It is hiding in plain sight and will come when you release yourself to it's splendor. Use your creative skills to absorbe the truths of nature and all will be good. Unconditional love will find you, just be aware when it's in the neighborhood.

:peace:

The paths for the journey have many twists and turns, but the destination is well worth it. Enjoy!

[christian]

How to love - always a hot topic :)

I guess you can add meditation to any topic from golf to building pipe racks out of prunes yada yada :cool:

Hi... I'm just curious about what you meant about always a hot topic. This is one of the draw-backs of forum posting or online communications, the nuances of verbal communication can be lost in translation. Was that sarcasm, or was that more of a "this topic has been beat to death" kind of thing? :)

As far as meditation goes. I prefer trancing out to music myself, it's more natural for me.

Whatever works for you :)

I mean that seriously. I intend to avoid sarcasm, they say it comes from a hurt idealist and I don't want to put myself in that position. Figuring out how to love is really the biggest lesson and challenge there is, I guess. I really mean it, this is what it all evolves around :cool:

Or in maybe more concrete terms, how to consciously raise the vibrational level of the self, which is all-that-is and creating harmony and so on. I don't really know why, other then because it feels good and I don't really know, how and when this could be ever "done" and what would occur after then. Sorry, I'm ranting..

[Unified Serenity]

Great thread. Love has been a frequent topic and post on many threads. I really think this video is one everyone should watch because it talks about what love is and what it is not, and for me it is right on the mark:

UrAgb1-UKQ8

[Jenci]

Hi Bekrah,


We are either grasping/resisting or we are allowing.

The activity of grasping/resisting is the ego, where as allowing is our true nature, unconditional love.

In trying to love unconditionally there is a struggle. There is a resisting how you are and a grasping at how you want to be.

In a struggle there is no allowing.




I have heard that to love unconditionally you need to be able to silence the ego. To tell that voice that whispers bitter nothings in your ear to STFU.

This illustrates the struggle. A state of resisting is trying to silence the ego. Resisting is the ego activity. So it's ego trying to fix ego and in that struggle there can't be allowing.

Instead of the trying to love unconditionally, I suggest that you learn to become aware of the ego - the grasping and resisting activity.

Don't label or judge it, the ego is not bad.

Just become aware of it and then when you are aware, investigate this awareness that you have. Is this awareness allowing or is it resisting/grasping?





Jeanette

[Tony]

iG_lNuNUVd4

[Belle]

Unconditional love is a state of being...as is compassion.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? unconditional love or compassion?

What is that old story about catching a butterly? something like the more you chase it, the more it stays just out of reach...but once you are at rest, the butterfly will alight of it's own free will and volition.

One can "think" unconditional love, one can "try" unconditional love, one can "do" unconditional love...or at least our ideas of what it is...but in truth one can only "be" pure unconditional love.

[Tony]

Interesting...what came before unconditional compassion?

It has to be understanding.
Understanding of what?
Understanding of truth.
What is this truth?
That we are Pure and Knowing.

So what is the problem?
We all believe we are princesses!

[Belle]

imo, unconditional love and compassion are our inherent nature.

The trials and tribulations that enter our lives can be used to clear away the "foggy mirror" of our illusions, a bit at a time if we so choose, allowing our true nature to be revealed. Funny how we can find little bits of dross that hide our true nature reflected in others and mirrored back to us...or is that us reflecting it back to ourselves? hmmm...

[bekrah]

Yes bekrah , thanks, and it truly is a mindset. You SET YOUR MIND to it...or well you practise setting your mind to it. In my case yes this experience did have a profound effect on me. Yet as I mentioned above, the state of being where one loves unconditionally, can become out of reach....as has been slightly my experience as well. Ya see, I have gone through a period about three years after that experience, and I began to feel "beaten down" by the system. I got tired. We all get tired don't we. Well I began to find myself in a different state of being again. Almost back to that young teen who was impatient and filled with EGO. I was lucky to have recognized that. Having known the JOY of how I felt after that initial prayer experience....I wanted that state of being back!!! And so I began to catch myself when I would be judging another or when I was not acting out of love to another etc.....and boy I still catch myself to this day. I am NOT perfect by far...but I work on being in that state as often as I can and it is coming more naturally lately. Yeah I still get down some days.....you bet. And yeah I am like everyone else....tired of this worldy system we live in and wanting to be freed from it. In the meantime I just keep on keepin on and enjoy each day as best I am able to. I gotta share here too that when I had that initial experience 10 years ago, that the pastor of the church at that time when I approached him as to what it might have been....he said he feels that I had an "angelic visitation" and that it is something to be excited about. All I know is that it was an awesome feeling...as if being lifted by wings....into the air...and it was that great that I did not want to open my eyes after the prayer...hahaha. I have not had any such experience since then again.

That really sounds like it was a cool experience lol, far nicer then a church experience I had. I went to this Catholic church with this guy I was dating when I was in high school. We were in Green Bay on "Football Sunday LOL" and it was their family's tradition to go to church before the Packer game. We got there and the church itself was BEAUTIFUL. Everything was gold-gilded, and just dripping with fanciness and decadence...

However, looks can be deceiving. As beautiful as the place was, it seemed hollow, instead of hallowed. The priest gave me a chill feeling, I felt like something wasn't right.

As soon as I set foot in the place I started feeling just horrible, I became nauseated, dizzy, feverish, I thought I was going to vomit. I spent the entire service in the bathroom on the floor curled up around the toilet. As soon as the service was over, we left the church and within moments after leaving I felt fine. It was very strange. I've been inside of other churches before with no problems, in fact I've been to a few services in other churches which I found quite uplifting and pleasant. This was not one of them.

It's nice to hear your story though, it gives you a little more hope about churches and places like that, they aren't all bad, you know?

¤=[Post Update]=¤




How to love - always a hot topic :)

I guess you can add meditation to any topic from golf to building pipe racks out of prunes yada yada :cool:

Hi... I'm just curious about what you meant about always a hot topic. This is one of the draw-backs of forum posting or online communications, the nuances of verbal communication can be lost in translation. Was that sarcasm, or was that more of a "this topic has been beat to death" kind of thing? :)

As far as meditation goes. I prefer trancing out to music myself, it's more natural for me.

Whatever works for you :)

I mean that seriously. I intend to avoid sarcasm, they say it comes from a hurt idealist and I don't want to put myself in that position. Figuring out how to love is really the biggest lesson and challenge there is, I guess. I really mean it, this is what it all evolves around :cool:

Or in maybe more concrete terms, how to consciously raise the vibrational level of the self, which is all-that-is and creating harmony and so on. I don't really know why, other then because it feels good and I don't really know, how and when this could be ever "done" and what would occur after then. Sorry, I'm ranting..

No problem, I wouldn't say that is ranting, you make some good points. :)

[bekrah]

Great thread. Love has been a frequent topic and post on many threads. I really think this video is one everyone should watch because it talks about what love is and what it is not, and for me it is right on the mark:

UrAgb1-UKQ8

Thanks for sharing, I will have to check out this video when I have a little more time on my hands, (something there never seems to be enough of lol). I like your signature by the way, I think it's very true. :)

¤=[Post Update]=¤


Hi Bekrah,


We are either grasping/resisting or we are allowing.

The activity of grasping/resisting is the ego, where as allowing is our true nature, unconditional love.

In trying to love unconditionally there is a struggle. There is a resisting how you are and a grasping at how you want to be.

In a struggle there is no allowing.




I have heard that to love unconditionally you need to be able to silence the ego. To tell that voice that whispers bitter nothings in your ear to STFU.

This illustrates the struggle. A state of resisting is trying to silence the ego. Resisting is the ego activity. So it's ego trying to fix ego and in that struggle there can't be allowing.

Instead of the trying to love unconditionally, I suggest that you learn to become aware of the ego - the grasping and resisting activity.

Don't label or judge it, the ego is not bad.

Just become aware of it and then when you are aware, investigate this awareness that you have. Is this awareness allowing or is it resisting/grasping?





Jeanette

Not to make a joke out of this, but when I first read it the first thing that came to mind was Yoda, "Do or do not, there is no try." I'm thinking that statement applies to many things.

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Is this the video you mentioned? I'm getting quite a list of stuff to look at here! Thank you and everyone else who posted stuff very much for taking the time to share these with me. :) I will have to hole myself up by the computer tonight to have a look lol.

[bekrah]

That is a good analogy to use about the butterfly, I can appreciate that. :)

[bekrah]

Perhaps our society has too much fondness for Disney movies? :P Your statement reminds me of the lotus flower, how it is pure and rises above the muck and mud. Perhaps part knowing and loving is being able to keep yourself elevated above the every day muck and mud of life, the things we are bombarded with daily that would have you believe we are not pure and knowing....like almost everything on TV for example.

[TheWhitefang]

Guilt, shame, forgiveness, all very difficult to face & can eat you alive if you don't face then release. For many, they become consumed by fear of these, as if they're stronger than what the self can confront. I'm struggling with these issues now but working on releasing them. It never helps when a person won't forgive you, but this is the primary reason I'm so quick to forgive - bc I know I mess up in many things. I've caused ppl hurt in my life & doesn't justify it if I've been wronged.....Also forgiveness is a gift that shows another you're able to see gray areas instead of black & white. You give as you'du'd like it to he given to you. ..... It's really for yourself & others may just benefit from it. ...... I have a long ways to go yet lol

[Tony]

Unconditional Love, is Knowing, Primordial Purity.

[Antagenet]

unconditional love is not a feeling or belief, it is an action.
It is when you GIVE UP something that you want, some luxury, some pleasure, some so called need
and take whatever resources you have sacrificed, be it time or money or emotional energy
and give to another person.

That is the kind of love that makes more of a difference than anything.

[wynderer]

Love is an action verb

as Sun Bear used to say, 'If your philosophy doesn't grow corn, i don't wanna hear about it'

Earth First motto: Love + Anger = Action



unconditional love is not a feeling or belief, it is an action.
It is when you GIVE UP something that you want, some luxury, some pleasure, some so called need
and take whatever resources you have sacrificed, be it time or money or emotional energy
and give to another person.

That is the kind of love that makes more of a difference than anything.