Love

[Simonm]

Please forgive me if this isn't in the correct forum.

I would like to ask the question, how to love? Being an only child people naturally assume I was spoilt rotten, but an abusive mother means that a lot of my childhood was quite traumatic. My father was my world. Still is, even though he passed away some years ago it's always his memory that I look back on.

I left home and joined the army and quite suddenly find myself in the Falklands seeing and doing things I'd rather not talk about.

Majority of my relationships have failed, except my present one. A woman who suffered at the hands of her father. We have a fantastic boy to each other who is well balanced and loved.

My question is this. Since waking to the "real world" around me and educating myself through Avalon and other sites I often hear the words "give forth love"etc. how?

May seem strange to you all but at times I'm so angry and at odds that I find it so very hard to let go and just love. How can one love with so much anger?

Apologies for the stupid question but I'd like to be so much better.

[christian]

Good question.

Of course it's hard to let go, but it has to be done eventually. You just gotta determinedly push through, I figure. There are tools and methods that can help you. A very concise method is offered by Byron Katie, those are her 4 steps (http://www.thework.com/thework-4questions.php) for re-evaluating any issue:



Step 1: Is it true?

Step 2: Can you absolutely know that it's true?

Step 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

Step 4: Who would you be without the thought?

Another way (http://www.miraclestudies.net/Forgive_3Step.html) of practicing forgivess (http://www.miraclestudies.net/Forgiveness.html) is in the Course in Miracles (http://courseinmiracles.com/).

Another tool is ho'oponopono:
http://www.ancienthuna.com/ho-oponopono.htm

To let go of fear, I like this exercise a lot:
http://ascension101.com/en/ascension-tools/33-ascension-tools/105-fear-processing-exercise.html

As for expressing love maybe you can find some good hints here:
http://www.wikihow.com/Love

[mekiac]

This is not a stupid question at all. It is a beautiful one :p

We all are on different life paths and have different challenges.
All we can do is fullfilling our potentiality to the best we can.

Try to manifest love in yourself and in your life. It won't work in the beginning but that is ok. Just try. It will work.

I love my self in this moment.
I see that there is anger present, but I also love myself in this moment of anger.
I have been carried away by my anger again... That is ok. If I could have done better, I would have. I love myself for trying the best I can.

I should forgive this person, but I cant. That's allright. I Love myself for not beeing able to forgive.
I should let this go, but I can't. That's allirght. I love myself for not beeing able to let go.

Don't demand too much of yourself. Take one step after the other.
In the beginning there might not be much happening. But someday something will happen. One step after another.

Try to be nice to every one to the best you can. And if you don't want too, don't judge yourself for it, forgive yourself.... but only if you want.

Visualization/Prayer can also be helpfull. Just visualize/feel (no clear pictures are needed) in the morning how you would like to go about in the day. And try to take the arising feeling with yourself into the day.

Thank you for your service to this world, Simonm, by trying to fullfill your potential by the best you can and thereby raising the consciousness level / experienced level of joy of every living being on this planet :amen:

[Lifebringer]

Hi;
I no expert, but have had a little success with unconditional love more than the close family love, due to the fact that some in my family abuse alcohol and just always want to be away from their condition. The rest of the world/family tries to get them to focus, and they say they don't care or aren't interested in participating in the rat race. Escaping pain however they can from poverty and lack over a life time. Some except their lot in life and others regret not reaching out to make themselves happy when they had the chance and didn't take it.
Now, back to love. I've found in my 54 years that like a diamond there are many facets of what the humans call love. Some express it through physical because it is mutually satisfactory between two partners who have feelings of compassion and passion for each other, to the point where it's like a light beam of happy, when your in it. Then there is the friendship love, that accepts criticisms or advice when wrongs are committed between two or more people in close and personal conversation of physical contact, such as sports. Amother or Father's love for a child, a deep part of them reflecting all that they have learned from the enviornment and lifestyle lived and taught by those around you. Accepting the "head bumping" as they make decisions in life and never actually take the advice a parent has taught them from childhood to adult. But unconditional love is the love all that deserves to be loved and that would cover us all. Some are open to love and expressions of friendship and trust, but as I said above, it is all about the enevironment a paraent exposes a child to. I could probably keep it simple if I knew what type of love you are working on, I am working on unconditional love of all, even though some, choose to harm multitudes of others, to find a greed addiction fix. Never considering the consequences of their actions all the way throughout the action done.
Love is earned, love is needed, love is wanted, but what is love is the question.
Love is everything that ever felt good, done by others or yourself to improve your outlook and hope for the human race's continued survival in peace, for a future of the offspring of generations to come. you have to love mankind enough, not to give up and believe the majority of us, are rotten to the core of our souls.

One thing I know. People who love, aren't afraid to light up a room, with their smile. That helps me to recognize when someone is above the level of blatant evil. The rest is reasoning and listening skills of someone very close to you, that may even be attractive to the eyes. If you find a soulmate that is all this and close to the heart in your life, it makes the journey, a little easier to take.

The love of all that ws created and the mysterious life and creatures in the world and loving them enough, to not destroy their habitats, for they have a right to live. If they are for flowers or trees, then plant the flowers "bees" like away from the home to keep them in the world for organic, non-chemically treated farms for healthier food without antibiotics or geneticly modified bug repellent fruits and veggies.

How do we allow once success at chemically poisoning the world, overcome the common sense of realizing, it isn't susccessful, to be reliant or dependable on a finite species of life vital to our own. But man has not the love of nature in some corporate circles of wealth, because they are deranged with greed.
Just remember given the choice betwen feeling all those emotions of love friendship, warm and toasty comfy, versus feeling like the world is on my shoulders and one of them is broke, I choose to make the life of happiness, I crave in my soul, and know i'm able to provide to others, if they allow it. It's all about the vibration of one's soul at this time in this history of the human race and planet Earth.
I don't know if this has been of some help

[Fred Steeves]

My question is this. Since waking to the "real world" around me and educating myself through Avalon and other sites I often hear the words "give forth love"etc. how?

May seem strange to you all but at times I'm so angry and at odds that I find it so very hard to let go and just love. How can one love with so much anger?


Hi Simonm, that doesn't sound strange at all. Waking up to the "real world" is tough stuff man, that anger nearly destroyed me.

Let me ask you this: Have you been able to forgive your mother yet? If you haven't, that would be a huge "let go" right there.

Cheers Mate,
Fred

[crested-duck]

I think to be able to love is to be able to forgive yourself as well as others. Or a necessity for love anyways. Forgiveness has been a stickler for me. I tell myself that I forgive X for Y, but don't know that I fully believe/accept it yet, but just the thought/intent to forgive is the most important part of it all. But that's just me and we are all individuals with free will and choice to manifest anything we choose to. Hope this helps somehow( that's the intention being manifested by my choice to post this) !-----Rob

[WhiteFeather]

My question is this. Since waking to the "real world" around me and educating myself through Avalon and other sites I often hear the words "give forth love"etc. how?

May seem strange to you all but at times I'm so angry and at odds that I find it so very hard to let go and just love. How can one love with so much anger?


Hi Simonm, that doesn't sound strange at all. Waking up to the "real world" is tough stuff man, that anger nearly destroyed me.

Let me ask you this: Have you been able to forgive your mother yet? If you haven't, that would be a huge "let go" right there.

Cheers Mate,
Fred

Agree Fred...,Forgiveness and Letting it go. Would be the first steps IMO.

[donk]

Can't be said any better than what's been already said here, the simplest of concepts are the hardest to truly live: Let go (of anger, grudges, pain, and especially expectations), forgive (everything of everyone--especially yourself).

Once you can do that (I have rarely seen it happen without extreme trauma or hitting "rock bottom", but it can..and does), you release all attachments, and can experience a freedom you never imagined.

Not to say that I "got there", but I feel I got past the hump of the anger and inability to let go, and now am able to truly forgive and love (unconditionally). When I got to this point, you are able to discern where "responsibility" lies--which you need to take/own/act on (I am pretty sure that only your thoughts/intents/emotions and how you manifest them falls into this category), which you need to let go of (since you have no control, which would mean everything else, I would think).

Anyway, just my two cents...I try to share it with everyone I can. You have only NOW, nothing that has happened up to this point should be taken personally (or seriously)--only should be held to on as a lesson. Make every NOW count, it is the best you will ever experience if you can get over the victim mentality (which relates to fear, the mind-killer), create a reality within you that accepts everything but expects nothing, and live the sh!t out of every second you got. It is contagious!

Oh, one other definition, to me TRUTH = LOVE. Recognizing that we all have been programmed with the complete opposite mentality (ie: a culture of LIES) helps being able to forgive those attached to their beliefs (the TRUTH, to them). If you can let go of that attachment to any belief--you are getting somewhere (IMO)...

[Kimberley]

**********

Lots of great advice here so far...

I will add 3 books that I highly recommend

"The Four Agreements" and "The Mastery Of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz

And Wayne Dyers new book "Wishes Fulfilled: Mastering the Art of Manifesting"

And I love this quote about forgiveness from Annalee Skarin


"And now my beloved I will give again the sacred keys on which the forgiveness of your sin is based. Forgive and you shall be forgiven. Those who can not forgive can not be forgiven.

The very core of being forgiven is contained in the ability to forgive. Those who carry their grudges and hates and spirit of retaliation with them are carrying a burden of such deep darkness.

They become acutely clothed in the darkness of their own dislikes. And so I speak gently these words for all have sinned. Your own great release will come when you can forgive.

If you can not forgive you are carrying upon your shoulders your neighbors, your brothers failures and transgressions and you are also carrying the burden of your own sins, weaknesses, innumerable errors, and mistakes .

When I commanded you to judge not lest you be judged, I was revealing the great eternal law by which you would escape the great judgement."

Forgiveness is a tricky thing and for me it is learning not to judge and I found it hardest to learn how not to judge myself. However when you learn/remember to judge not then there is nothing to forgive.

Much love!! :grouphug:

[Kimberley]

**

Thought I would add this:

http://www.miguelruiz.com

Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements: Be impeccable with your word; Don't take anything personally; Don't make assumptions; Always do your best.

"Everything we do is based on agreements we have made - agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth."

"In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible."

"In this powerful book that has remained on The New York Times Bestseller List for over eight years, don Miguel reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. When we are ready to change these agreements, there are four deceptively simple, yet powerful agreements that we can adopt as guiding principles. The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. add this"

I read this book 15 years ago and I recommend it often...

[Simonm]

Many many thanks to you all. There is so much to take in. Lots of things to work on. I suppose forgiveness of my mother is the first step. Something I'll have to work on

Again, many thanks for all your help. :)

[Daughter of Time]

Hello Simonm,

I also had a horrible father. For many years I hated him. Eventually I learned to forgive. He could not have been in his right mind or he would not have behaved the way he did. It is much easier to live with forgiveness than with hatred in one's heart. Forgive your mother and do it outloud. Say "I forgive you mother for..." all the ways in which she mistreated you. This might make you more angry at first, but eventually, you'll feel your heart soften which will be followed by an overall lightness.

And it sounds to me like you are loving more than you realize. You surely love your son. I imagine you love the woman you share your son with. You love your father.

There isn't only evil in this world. There is benevolence too. You must have experienced benevolence. And benevolence is love.

With love,

Daughter of Time

[conk]

forgiveness and non-judgement lead to acceptance and love.

Best wishes and much love!

Conk

[Sidney]

No stupidity in that question. Stupidity is assuming that people naturally know how it all works. Most people nowdays have their own story of struggle and abuse, and yes, forgiveness is the main ingredient to the recipe for unconditional love. I am guilty of having yet to find the solution for letting go of the past resentments, and I have spent years working on it. I believe it will come when it is suppose to, but being aware, is the step before the actual act of letting go. This may sound like it goes in circles, but I hope you get something out of it.
All humans crave that unconditional love. My question is, can we give it if we have not received it? There is a lot of grey area surrounding this very question. In the material world, giving is better than receiving, But when it comes to love, if you give give give and it is not reciprocated, then you may have a deficit, which can turn to "baggage" and illness, physical or emotional.

[Peace of Mind]

Please forgive me if this isn't in the correct forum.

I would like to ask the question, how to love? Being an only child people naturally assume I was spoilt rotten, but an abusive mother means that a lot of my childhood was quite traumatic. My father was my world. Still is, even though he passed away some years ago it's always his memory that I look back on.

I left home and joined the army and quite suddenly find myself in the Falklands seeing and doing things I'd rather not talk about.

Majority of my relationships have failed, except my present one. A woman who suffered at the hands of her father. We have a fantastic boy to each other who is well balanced and loved.

My question is this. Since waking to the "real world" around me and educating myself through Avalon and other sites I often hear the words "give forth love"etc. how?

May seem strange to you all but at times I'm so angry and at odds that I find it so very hard to let go and just love. How can one love with so much anger?

Apologies for the stupid question but I'd like to be so much better.

No apologies needed as far as I see it.

IMO, once you learn to accept yourself entirely …that’s when you finally love yourself. Many of us think and pretend to love ourselves; often unaware that we put on this façade just to feel accepted. We alter our appearances, wear certain cloths and strive for certain jobs just to be noticed, the prestige of it all is something many aim for, but why? Once we get pass our blinding low self esteem issues such as plastic surgeries, hairstyling, cosmetics, revealing clothing….anything that projects a false image of self….we will come to learn just how easy it is to love others. You can’t love others if you have trouble in loving yourself. Do this and you’ll see how ridiculously easy it is to help/forgive/sympathize and love others.

Peace