A Question to the Forum

[Nickolai]

So,
Scary moderators? For how long Wyndrer should be outcasted/inprisoned?
Same about 9eagle9? Free of speech, yes?

Is it a bad joke? I can not even send them messages! :shocked:
Enlightened beings for the free world!... Bla, bla, bla... Bullocks!

Nickolai

[Bill Ryan]

-------

Dear Nickolai -- I very much appreciate the good energy you bring to the forum. I wish many others would behave with the courtesy that you do.

But Freedom of Speech does not extent to violating the assumed privacy of Private Messages. If they were to be posted "freely", many would stop sending them at all. There would be no security or certainty at all. That's why that privacy principle is very important.


For how long Wyndrer should be outcasted/inprisoned?

Three days.

Privacy is important. I'm sure you agree. I don't have the 'freedom' to intrude into your own home and listen to your private conversations, if I'm not invited.

With Freedom comes Responsibility. They go together. I think you understand this well, because you always communicate with such courtesy. We have the freedom (theoretically) to write anythimg we want. But that doesn't mean that I should write "Nickolai, you're a #$%*#!∞£**" ---- just because I can, and I happen to feel like it! If a member violates his or her responsibility -- then the moderators will find ways of letting them know that.

And remember: a lot goes on behind the scenes. That's private, as well. You can't possibly know how much time the moderators spend communicating with members behind the scenes (because much of that happens by Private Message). When someone is banned -- permanently or temporarily -- it's almost always the last resort, because nothing much else has worked.

[modwiz]

So,
Scary moderators? For how long Wyndrer should be outcasted/inprisoned?
Same about 9eagle9? Free of speech, yes?

Is it a bad joke? I can not even send them messages! :shocked:
Enlightened beings for the free world!... Bla, bla, bla... Bullocks!

Nickolai

I am pretty sure we have lost 9eagle, so that avenue will be closed permanently if that is so. Stick around, you will see the rhyme and reason of things.

My sense is Wyn will return. I have no contact with her, so that is just a guess.

[Nickolai]

Bill,

Thank you!
With Wyn I suppose the following was the case. Being sincere person she just posted the private conversation to show how the things happened to go wild.
I have no privacy in my Privacy, you see? Everything can go public. If any member would post something provoking I would probably do the same to justify myself.
Probably it didn't happen for me to read something offensive written by Wyn, but I saw countless atacks on her and her vision of reality. Someone was so much disgustingly stingy that I even got emotional and wanted to defend the lady. No one shut the offenser mouth. Instead many supported her. That's my opinion and since that is forum I have the right to spell it!

With 9eagle9, as it was said, different story. But keeping in mind that she is self-sufficient person, with opinions, independent one, but precious to the forum .... A big loss!
I agree, Modwiz, I feel that 9eagle9 wont't come back and I am really really sad!

Nickolai

[Belle]

Stick around, you will see the rhyme and reason of things.

There is an ebb and flow to PA.

It's difficult to see when one is too close to a situation, such as with 9eagle9 and wynderer. Tho' it may be difficult, sometimes you just have to step back a ways to see the whole picture.

Just as people come and go from our everyday lives, so it happens here as well. We may be separated by physical distances, but are drawn together by the forum through the internet, and grow to care about the people in this community.

As rocky_shorz said in another thread, the door is always open. The choice to return or not is theirs to make.

In the meantime, new people arrive, some move on, and some return. Such is life.

[RMorgan]

Bill,

Thank you!
With Wyn I suppose the following was the case. Being sincere person she just posted the private conversation to show how the things happened to go wild.
I have no privacy in my Privacy, you see? Everything can go public. If any member would post something provoking I would probably do the same to justify myself.
Probably it didn't happen for me to read something offensive written by Wyn, but I saw countless atacks on her and her vision of reality. Someone was so much disgustingly stingy that I even got emotional and wanted to defend the lady. No one shut the offenser mouth. Instead many supported her. That's my opinion and since that is forum I have the right to spell it!

With 9eagle9, as it was said, different story. But keeping in mind that she is self-sufficient person, with opinions, independent one, but precious to the forum .... A big loss!
I agree, Modwiz, I feel that 9eagle9 wont't come back and I am really really sad!

Nickolai

Hey mate,

It would really be a shame to lose 9eagle9, really.

She´s a great contributor to the balance of this forum.

Anyway, people should try harder to be more polite and to respect the forum rules. It´s not that hard and, after all, we´re all on the same side, aren´t we?

If people just respected each other we wouldn´t even need moderation.

Who knows, if we start practicing mutual respect on the internet, and then expand this practice to real life, maybe we wouldn´t even need the police anymore.

Cheers,

Raf.

[Nickolai]

RMorgan,

You are absolutely undoubtedly 100% right. Wholeheartedly agree with you!

There is a difference though, you see. Some people do communicate tough. I actually like this kind of people. You can be offended, but they talk what they mean. It's safe to be with them.
There is a different kind of people. We here in Russia, have a very nice saying but I have no idea how to translate it. These people play so different rules. With Wyn that was the case. It was belittling in the worse sense, annihilating, I would even say insulting to read. The way the moderators treated the offender was very baby-a**-l*cking to say the least.

A disgusting case proving that there are chosen few.
Actually that is the answer to the question why so many members do not post AT ALL.

Nickolai

[RMorgan]

RMorgan,

You are absolutely undoubtedly 100% right. Wholeheartedly agree with you!

There is a difference though, you see. Some people do communicate tough. I actually like this kind of people. You can be offended, but they talk what the mean. It's safe to be with them.
There is a different kind of people. We here in Russia, have a very nice saying but I have no idea how to translate it. These people play so different rules. IWith Wyn that was the case. It was belittling in the worse sense, annihilating, I would even say insulting to read. The way the moderators treated the offender was very baby-a**-l*cking to say the least.

A disgusting case proving that there are chosen few.
Actually that is the answer to the question why so many members do not post AT ALL.

Nickolai

Hi Nickolai,

I hear you, my friend.

I like unique people, with peculiar communication styles as well.

However, the point is that you can still have a strong communication style, without being rude. It´s harder, but it´s a very valuable communication exercise that is very useful in countless life situations.

I was impolitely confronted many times here, you probably know that, but the best way to respond to a rude statement is with politeness and class.

Rudeness is always a bad and unjustifiable choice...

Specially on internet forums, we have to be extremely careful with our word choice, since communication here is 100% based on words...This is another great exercise that can be used in real life as well.

You see? Internet forums are like miniature virtual models of society. Everything we do here can be used to improve our lives.

Personally, I think the moderation team here is very good and balanced. Thanks to the mods, this is probably the best alternative info forum around. If you ever registered in other similar forums, you probably know what I mean.

Anyway, I just hope both Wynderer and 9eagle9 to be back here. They are very good members.

Cheers,

Raf.

[Nickolai]

RMorgan,

Agreed on 100 % with everything BUT moderators. If you follow my threads or replies I always try to moderate myself. And most of the time it is easy, but then again, I have a great experience in moderating keeping in mind where I come from...LOL
They, the moderators, have their preferences. If you and others do not agree, I won't argue.
I mean the whole stuff happened is not good, as I see it it's dirty, dusty, not clean.
You see the point here is that with 9eagle9 no one could even get into the same trouble...LOL
With Wyn, that was kind of different. The forum showed that moderators sing away with the bossesses. I won't eat it!

But again, my opinion...)))
My opinion you have not read the whole Wyn humiliation thing, RMorgan, or I really took you for someone different, mate!

Nickolai

PS And for clarification, I do not share the Views of Wyn on reality (ain't have similar experiences). It's just that I can feel here that she is just a pure soul. That's just it!

PPS Read it! Then you will see, once she explained why she got emotional.... She drank some whiskey, LOL. that was sweet! Was kind of open-heartedly childish and honest! Isn't that sweet?
That's just Wyn!

[christian]

This goes out to everyone, because although wynderer and 9eagle9 are on a vacation right now, the preceding situations were not that clear cut, at least in my assessment. The only exception is posting PMs.



Civility means a great deal more than just being nice to one another. It is complex and encompasses learning how to connect successfully and live well with others, developing thoughtfulness, and fostering effective self-expression and communication. Civility includes courtesy, politeness, mutual respect, fairness, good manners, as well as a matter of good health. Taking an active interest in the well-being of our community and concern for the health of our society is also involved in civility.
P. M. Forni

I think a great deal of unnecessary turmoil is generated by people who mean well, but are not able or willing to work on their effective self-expression first. ---> The Art of Debating (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?47009-The-Art-of-Debating)

If you consider yourself smarter, stronger or in any way superior to someone, then don't forget that you also have a higher responsiblity for what is happening between you and the other on that field, on which you feel superior.



Respecting others' opinions doesn't mean being untrue to our own.
P. M. Forni

If I am sure, that stating a particular truth would actually influence someone in a negative way - for whatever reason - what would I achieve by stating it then? Proving that I'm smart and in the right? :suspicious: Can't I do something else to actually help that person or if not, wouldn't it be better to remain silent?

I think it is sometimes very important to be able to say: I'm not reacting to this, this doesn't touch me. If you're not able to do this, you're being played like a violin. This is true for the person who sees himself in the position of having to lecture others and for the one who others are out to lecture.



A good traveler has no fixed plans
and is not intent upon arriving.
A good artist lets his intuition
lead him wherever it wants.
A good scientist has freed himself of concepts
and keeps his mind open to what is.

Thus the Master is available to all people
and doesn't reject anyone.
He is ready to use all situations
and doesn't waste anything.
This is called embodying the light.

What is a good man but a bad man's teacher?
What is a bad man but a good man's capital?
If you don't honor your teacher,
if you don't spare your capital,
you will get lost, however intelligent you are.
It is the great secret.

Dao De Jing



Anyway, people should try harder to be more polite and to respect the forum rules. It´s not that hard and, after all, we´re all on the same side, aren´t we?

If people just respected each other we wouldn´t even need moderation.

Who knows, if we start practicing mutual respect on the internet, and then expand this practice to real life, maybe we wouldn´t even need the police anymore.

Amen to that!

[Marsila]

Well i wasn't going to reply to this thread, as after mostly lurking back here for two month i now understand why a lot of people don't post, just lurk around.

RMorgan you are a bit confused by what happened, as it isn't that obvious.

Wynderer simply posted the pm between her and the other party to all this, and i can't find that anymore.

what started it all is in the spirituality section the 'sex with the otherside'. After reading pie'n'eals response which said a lot despite being brief i didn't go back. but then i checked again after all this.

here's the link
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?49036-Having-Sex-With-The-Other-Side


It is not Wynderer that was being rude. She had an opinion against what was being said, and said it, she didn't message it to anyone specifically so it is easy to shrug off. I to don't share a lot of her opinions and thoughts but still....

What is funny is the reply to her. that is what could have definitely been more polite. yet instead of anyone pointing it out, suddenly people were doing some cheer leading kind of thing encouraging that behavior instead of asking it to be back on topic or even better...posting something that brings it back on topic....it's like those people who see two people about to fight and instead of walking away or asking either to walk away...start doing that very civilized(sarcasm) thing of asking for it to go on.

Maybe it is just that i'd never do that to anyone online or in person no matter how much i dislike them, so i didn't like that little part of that thread at all.

after all that, the two ladies were pm'ing naturally one had that 'power feeling' of being supported by everyone on that thread...and the other had that 'cornered all alone' feeling...and even nice people aren't scared to 'bite' when they feel like that...so maybe why she went ahead and put that pm in a thread she started.

private pm's should be kept private, but i also think people shouldn't say in private what they wouldn't in person.

Sneakier people are those who pretend they 'heard or read' things in private, and then go and twist it around to their advantage and never show their 'proof' because u know private matters are to be kept private.....am just saying what could be worst.

so yeah...that's the story.

and what a shame losing 9eagle9, she is a very smart girl and adds a lot of value.

naturally people at that level of smart aren't always open to the usual type of communication so miscommunication is inevitable....but i feel that for sure if some other people posted what she did, they'd never have been banned or anything at all...but that's just my own feelings so who cares.

[Chester]

RMorgan,

You are absolutely undoubtedly 100% right. Wholeheartedly agree with you!

There is a difference though, you see. Some people do communicate tough. I actually like this kind of people. You can be offended, but they talk what they mean. It's safe to be with them.
There is a different kind of people. We here in Russia, have a very nice saying but I have no idea how to translate it. These people play so different rules. With Wyn that was the case. It was belittling in the worse sense, annihilating, I would even say insulting to read. The way the moderators treated the offender was very baby-a**-l*cking to say the least.

A disgusting case proving that there are chosen few.
Actually that is the answer to the question why so many members do not post AT ALL.

Nickolai

I hear you Nickolai and I can only make improvements in myself and hopefully have learned some from the role I have played in indirectly blowing them up. But to not post at all in fear of the responses seems worse to me than anything. At the same time, if I had not forced myself to break for 7 days I would have gotten (rightfully) banned. And when I returned, I was teetering on the edge.

In my case its the passion. I am very, very passionate about our current situation on earth. I see no sense in a world that exists as this one does. And recently my own son got caught up in it. But the thing with me is, I had to accept my own responsibility in seeing the world I see, and had to equally accept my own son's troubles are first and foremost his own creation.

Anyways - I just hope that we can all see how the ego monster we all possess can be managed and I see that as the key - at least in my case. justoneman

[Nickolai]

Thank you, Justoneman!


Anyways - I just hope that we can all see how the ego monster we all possess can be managed and I see that as the key - at least in my case. justoneman

Absolutely agree with you, man!

Stay well and good,

Warmly,

Nickolai

[music]

Forums are but a reflection of the wider world. Here, as there, the stronger and more agressive the personailty, the more that personality will draw weaker satellites into their orbit, particularly if that aggression is accompanied with a keen intellect and the ability to cut people with words. There is a cowardice inherent in this set up which is counter to any kind of burgeoning awareness. It doesn't cost anything to be kind or civil to people. It is better to be kind than to be right, or to be seen to be right.