The Illusion of Control

[another bob]

“How can the mind which has itself created the world accept it as unreal? If you keep awake always to the Self which is the sub-stratum of all experiences, you will find the world of which you are now aware is just as unreal as the world in which you lived your dream.”

- Sri Ramana Maharshi



This matter can be verified to one’s own satisfaction by persistently inquiring into our actual nature and condition, to the point where the dream-like, or transient, nature of our own particular self-image is revealed for the chameleon trickster it just so happens to be, addicted as it is to the opium of control, and desperate to have its existence confirmed through any and all means at mind’s disposal. Moreover, these means are considerable, given the investments we have made in the files of images and programs, thought and memories, which we creatively bundle together and then arbitrarily designate as “me”.

It’s all an incredible charade, a magnificent lie, the Cary Grant of lies, so perfect in every role, so utterly empty in fact. Just look, even now there is the hypnosis ingredient swirling in the bloodstream, the restlessness of a hungry ghost, clinging to vines and trees of the past, of hope that it all will work out in the future somehow, pricked by fear at every turn, every twist, unwilling to let go, unwilling to give up its feathered seat at the front of the bozo bus, ready to lash out if anyone dare try to suggest otherwise.

How was it for me when I paused long enough to see the tinder stacked around my feet? For all that I have relied upon as adding up to “me and mine”, it is a devastation. I recognized the sight and it wasn’t a pretty one — I walked a tightrope of my own design between waking and dreaming, dreaming and waking, the blood still hotly pulsing through my face from the futile effort at maintaining some sense of control, until I knew I would not make it — I couldn’t even take another step.

It was truly hopeless, and so I fell, and falling, burnt in mid-air, this bird’s wings trailing fire, with a beak spouting yet more stories, even as it burst into flames. It all must burn, everything must go, even the storyteller, the tightrope walker — that clown on the wire must face the fire and jump in.

What I came to see by investigating the waking dream, was just how much I was clinging to the fiction of control, and how unhappy that hopeless effort was making me, and in turn, my relations. In trying to maintain control – of life, of relationships, of environments, of the self-sense altogether — I suffered a chronic mood of separation and consequent dissatisfaction, no matter how well things appeared to be going in the dream. In my inability to see through and my refusal to let go of that motive, despite all good intentions to the contrary, I was stubbornly attached to the task of maintaining an all-powerful center of operations – the illusion of control.

Only when all that effort revealed itself as pure delusion was I able to release the grip, and that only came about through the miracle of Love. When I was shown by Love just how much the compulsive contraction that I had been cultivating merely served to crimp and postpone the full flowering of my own native happiness, I simply lost my enthusiasm for the habits of controller persona, and in this way, took the reins from its clutches and placed them instead in the hands of Love.

What a great relief – letting go of the compulsive need to perpetuate some illusion of control! In such surrender, there is the simultaneous realization that the contractive mechanism was never necessary in the first place, and that all is and always has been perfect, just as it is!



“[You must] discard all your experiences, your knowledge, and all the things and ideas that you think are the most reliable, most magnificent, and most real, even including your hope [to get free]. It is as if you were entering a sacred building. Before you do so, the guard tells you that you must not carry any weapon, that you must take off all your clothes, and that not only must you be completely naked you also have to leave your body and soul behind. Then you can enter.”

~ Sheng-yen

[Carmody]

Absolutely. Exactly so.

And in the moment of letting go, the furitive madness of the ego takes itself down. That is, if one has prepared themselves by letting it go. all of it, every inch of it. Nothing left except the detached observer, even the idea of that, has to go first.

the box is 'physical' so it takes time, as well. It does not happen immediately, one has to be in the moment for some time, in order to allow the wiring to change as well.

[CdnSirian]

"...the contractive mechanism was never necessary in the first place, and that all is and always has been perfect, just as it is!"...

I revisit this often AB. Thanks for putting it here for viewing again.

[another bob]

Nothing left except the detached observer, even the idea of that, has to go first.

the box is 'physical' so it takes time, as well. It does not happen immediately, one has to be in the moment for some time, in order to allow the wiring to change as well.

Yes, that is quite true. it's not a new costume one can try on to see how it fits, this relinquishment. Nor is it finding a new place to land, after the leap of surrender.


Fana: When the Ṣūfī succeeds in purifying himself entirely of the earthly world and loses himself in the love of God, it is said that he has “annihilated” his individual will and “passed away” from his own existence to live only in God and with God.


"This never can be effected by the activity of our own will, even though it were employed in continual acts of resignation. These though very virtuous, are so far one's own actions and cause the will to subsist in a multiplicity, in a kind of separate distinction or dissimilitude from God. Let me assure you, this is not attained, save through pain, weariness and labor; and it will be reached by a path that will wonderfully disappoint your expectations. Nevertheless, if you are fully convinced that it is on the nothing in man that God establishes his greatest works, you will be in part guarded against disappointment or surprise. He destroys that he might build; for when He is about to rear His sacred temple in us, He first totally razes that vain and pompous edifice, which human art and power had erected, and from its horrible ruins a new structure is formed, by His power only... “

~Jeanne-Marie de la Motte-Guyon

[Fred Steeves]

“[You must] discard all your experiences, your knowledge, and all the things and ideas that you think are the most reliable, most magnificent, and most real, even including your hope [to get free]. It is as if you were entering a sacred building. Before you do so, the guard tells you that you must not carry any weapon, that you must take off all your clothes, and that not only must you be completely naked you also have to leave your body and soul behind. Then you can enter.”

~ Sheng-yen

Hi Bob, nice thread! You know it's funny, at some point less than a year ago, about that exact same thing just occured to me one day, even though I had never heard of the concept before. It was phrased a bit differently, but this was/is that thought: "If you want to proceed any further, you're going to have to start down the road of forgetting everything you think you know. Everything".

That's a tall order (LOL), but I seem to be able to shed just a tiny little bit, every day. It's the ancient and sacred "dance". Take one step forward, and Creation reveals herself one step forward.

Cheers,
Fred

[sirdipswitch]

I rest my case...

[another bob]

"If you want to proceed any further, you're going to have to start down the road of forgetting everything you think you know. Everything".

Yes, Brother -- that's a good start. The problem for most of us is, as soon as we discard some piece of junk we once fancied, we are compelled by motives operating at the subconscious level that tend to remain uninspected, and so we pick up another one to fill the perceived gap, or sense of lack, generated by the prior renunciation.

Constant and relentless vigilance is the only course, if we are truly interested in getting to the root of the whole complex. The fact that most of us are willing to settle for some peaceful feeling or love buzz, rather than using the sword of wisdom to cut all the way through, is just an apparent fact of the human condition. Most aspirants get trapped for aeons in the intermediate zones. Carmody made a similar point earlier in this thread.

It's not a week-end "Intensive Seminar" -- it's a moment-to-moment matter of life and death, and few are willing to submit themselves to that level of stripping, that degree of humility. It's still quite rare, despite claims from preachers that there is some kind of mass elevation of consciousness going on now, and that we're all on the verge of enlightenment. . . .

[Fred Steeves]

"If you want to proceed any further, you're going to have to start down the road of forgetting everything you think you know. Everything".

Yes, Brother -- that's a good start. The problem for most of us is, as soon as we discard some piece of junk we once fancied, we are compelled by motives operating at the subconscious level that tend to remain uninspected, and so we pick up another one to fill the perceived gap, or sense of lack, generated by the prior renunciation.

Constant and relentless vigilance is the only course, if we are truly interested in getting to the root of the whole complex. The fact that most of us are willing to settle for some peaceful feeling or love buzz, rather than using the sword of wisdom to cut all the way through, is just an apparent fact of the human condition. Most aspirants get trapped for aeons in the intermediate zones. Carmody made a similar point earlier in this thread.

It's not a week-end "Intensive Seminar" -- it's a moment-to-moment matter of life and death, and few are willing to submit themselves to that level of stripping, that degree of humility. It's still quite rare, despite claims from preachers that there is some kind of mass elevation of consciousness going on now, and that we're all on the verge of enlightenment. . . .

Well if that ain't a bit of absolute truth from Carmody and yourself there Bob, then I don't know what is.

Fred

[gripreaper]

"If you want to proceed any further, you're going to have to start down the road of forgetting everything you think you know. Everything".

Yes, Brother -- that's a good start. The problem for most of us is, as soon as we discard some piece of junk we once fancied, we are compelled by motives operating at the subconscious level that tend to remain uninspected, and so we pick up another one to fill the perceived gap, or sense of lack, generated by the prior renunciation.

Constant and relentless vigilance is the only course, if we are truly interested in getting to the root of the whole complex. The fact that most of us are willing to settle for some peaceful feeling or love buzz, rather than using the sword of wisdom to cut all the way through, is just an apparent fact of the human condition. Most aspirants get trapped for aeons in the intermediate zones. Carmody made a similar point earlier in this thread.

It's not a week-end "Intensive Seminar" -- it's a moment-to-moment matter of life and death, and few are willing to submit themselves to that level of stripping, that degree of humility. It's still quite rare, despite claims from preachers that there is some kind of mass elevation of consciousness going on now, and that we're all on the verge of enlightenment. . . .

Well if that ain't a bit of absolute truth from Carmody and yourself there Bob, then I don't know what is.

Fred

Yes. The realization that everything we have been taught is a lie, was difficult for me at first, as I was so vested in certain outcomes based on the context of the mainstream worldview. I got angry at first, really pissed that I had been lied to. The more I peeled back the onion layer by layer, the more I realized just how deep the conditioning goes. I wanted it to be like a computer hard drive where I could just delete the current operating system and just reload new software, but alas, I've had to purge and reload each pixel and terrabite through direct experience.

Most are not willing to do that, at least not until forced to do so through some catastrophic life event, which the soul has set up for this lifetime to awaken the self and nudge it forward. Bodies are funny things. Discomfort, or the perceived judgment of the energy vibrating alone without the benefit of the whole, seen as evil or discomforting, avoided and cast aside, instead of embraced and allowed to flow through us without judgment, without casting it off, will bring the new meaning and new consciousness to the body.

The greatest lie is that this process is painful. What turns out to be painful, is the resistance to it.

[another bob]

Yes. The realization that everything we have been taught is a lie, was difficult for me at first, as I was so vested in certain outcomes based on the context of the mainstream worldview. I got angry at first, really pissed that I had been lied to. The more I peeled back the onion layer by layer, the more I realized just how deep the conditioning goes. I wanted it to be like a computer hard drive where I could just delete the current operating system and just reload new software, but alas, I've had to purge and reload each pixel and terrabite through direct experience.

Most are not willing to do that, at least not until forced to do so through some catastrophic life event, which the soul has set up for this lifetime to awaken the self and nudge it forward. Bodies are funny things. Discomfort, or the perceived judgment of the energy vibrating alone without the benefit of the whole, seen as evil or discomforting, avoided and cast aside, instead of embraced and allowed to flow through us without judgment, without casting it off, will bring the new meaning and new consciousness to the body.

The greatest lie is that this process is painful. What turns out to be painful, is the resistance to it.


I elaborate on that a bit more here:

http://feelingtoinfinity.wordpress.com/2012/09/15/true-inquiry/

[Jenci]

Thank you, Bob for all that you do here. You are ever reminding us to keep going; that this is not it.





It's not a week-end "Intensive Seminar" -- it's a moment-to-moment matter of life and death, and few are willing to submit themselves to that level of stripping, that degree of humility. It's still quite rare, despite claims from preachers that there is some kind of mass elevation of consciousness going on now, and that we're all on the verge of enlightenment. . . .

This is an important statement and it is not about any kind of elitist idea about what only a few can attain. It's a statement, I think, which if it is received with humility, can shatter the illusory story of any sense of achievement on the spiritual path.

Why is it that so few travel this far? Because as you say it is an ongoing, constant matter of life and death that few would ever choose to put themselves through.

I can really relate to what Carmody says about being in that moment for some time to allow the wiring to change. It certainly feels like that for me, that to even get to being half way near where I need to be, that I seem to have had a lot of preparation to do.

This week I have been full of fear. I've been like a rabbit caught in the headlights. It's quite amusing in some ways to see how far I have come only to see myself reduced to this, quite tiny and small, wary of everything and physically jumpy of everything that moves.

Yet knowledge that the fear is illusory is no longer sufficient. This particular fear is my darkest of fears. It's not been prevalent much in my life but when it did show up the intellectual understanding that that would never happen in a million years was enough to send it packing.

Or at least I thought I sent it packing but really it sneaked back into the darkest corner or my being only to come out of its silent lurking at this moment.

So here is it now presented to me so up close and personal that I can't look away and I have been through this process enough in the last couple of years to know that there is to know there is no bypass or avoiding this.

There are no self-help techniques, there's no healing, there's no spiritual energetic techniques, there's no entitites to be removed.....none of that. This is beyond all of that.......or is it before? It actually feels like it is before. This comes first.

After days of being held in this state of fear, knowing what it was but not quite able to surrender to it, I finally got the courage or should I say, desparation to let it just be without any resisting.

Of course it is an illusion, that much I knew already but the physical aspect of it felt very real. The grasping in my gut was intense and I found myself pacing up and down my kitchen floor in an automatic way just to cope with the restlessness and pain.

You mentioned in your blog here (http://feelingtoinfinity.wordpress.com/2012/09/15/true-inquiry/) about feeling like your flesh is being torn off bit by bit. I felt like my insides were being ripped out, the whole of me being dredged from the inside. I just wanted to vomit. I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognise who was looking at me. I mean, I know I have lived as this body for 44 years but it just seems so alien to look in the mirror.

The comment you made in the OP about the bird burning but the beak was telling a story, made me laugh. All the time I am going through this stuff the storyteller is telling the story of me and what I am going through; a running commentary of how well it thinks it is doing.

I am so, so, so sick of the story of "me" and yet the abyss awaits me like it is calling me home but still I know I hold back because it is so terribly inconvenient right now!

I mean, I'm a parent and I still have to function as one so how do I surrender completely to the unknown, knowing the ferocity of this and the power it has to completely obliterate me and then what happens?........ Well that is how the storyteller's version goes.......

I don't normally write about what is happening to me as it happens, sorry if it sounds a bit jumbled but for some reason I felt moved to write today.

I am not sure if I should be writing in the past or present tense. Did this happen yesterday or is it still happening?. The grasping in the gut is a sickening feeling.

Anyway just wanted to say that what you do here is incredibly valuable. Keep shattering those illusions :)


Jeanette

[another bob]

Dear Sister, I am glad that you are writing this out, it's another form of the inquiry, and can be self-revelatory to do so, which is why some guides encourage journaling at certain stages. It can be tricky, of course, because it can also serve to reinforce the narrative of "me", so one needs a degree of detachment from the movie, as you have developed over time since your initial awakening.

What you are sharing here is wonderful, and certainly a blessing for those who are sincerely interested in liberation, rather than lip service to some enlightenment ideal. The battle is in the very trenches where you find yourself. It is not elsewhere, in some other dimension or disembodied state. That's just escapism, and never suceeds, because one is always brought back sooner or later to the steps they have tried to by-pass along the way. Most so-called spirituality is just that form of escapism, gussied up in fine-sounding names and offering a whole deck of methods -- paper cards to build the holy edifice of self-confirmation. When that house collapses under the weight of pride, arrogance, and ignorance, one is left even worse off than before, in an intractable despair, unless they have been paying attention, and recognize their behavior for what it is and has been. In such humility, there is an availability. Failure indeed can be the best medicine, because it is raw and true. The trick is, fail completely, not just a little bit. Otherwise, as you recognize, the storyteller will be lurking in the wings, preparing the shiny new self-image for its grand debut on the stage of self-promotion.

The key here for you is persistence. Constant vigilance. You will see that, at a certain point, true spontaneity will replace the sense of effort, but there is no way to plan for that, much less establish some outpost of hope -- that would defeat the process. Just see how hope and fear complement each other, and discard both as soon as they begin to rear their little heads. Just go about your normal life, serve your son, take care of the daily stuff, but internally, be an executioner. Wield the sword of discrimination, and don't even give the little demons of self-concern an opportunity to establish themselves -- cut them off, relentlessly.

This path you are treading has been walked before, and there are many beings now who surround you and guard you, because they have recognized your sincerity, and will support you. Of course, there are also those who recognize your sincerity, and who will therefor oppose you, out of sheer envy. Even they are blessings, because they will force you to stay awake and keep your sword sharp. You see, the whole universe is aligned to become fully conscious of itself through you, and as you. This is not an exageration.

Moreover, you truly do not need to make some special effort, other than being yourself, and sitting right in the middle of it, right in the middle of the recognition of your fears of non-existence, and not budging. Remember the movie "Little Buddha", and the scene when Mara was tossing everything he had at Gautama, and the Buddha just sat there, unmoved? That is an excellent metaphor.

When I was in the Zen monastery, we sat on benches in zazen meditation for hours at a time, and there was a guy who walked up and down the aisle with a 3 foot stick, called a keisaku, with which he would often stop in front of slumping students and skillfully whack them on the shoulder to snap them out of their sleepy torpor. Sometimes a new student might get fidgety on his cushion, and the guy with the stick would occasionally shout out, "Don't move!" One morning, I was deep into a meditiation, and carrying on an internal struggle with the discursive mind, and when I heard the guy make that shout at somebody across the room, I suddenly dropped all thought, and mind expanded out into the universe, encompassing all past, present, and future in a pristine silent awareness for which no words could do justice.

"Don't move!"

Blessings!

[Rantaak]

I like this, so I'll be concise in my response.

When discussing the philosophy of magic to other magicians (the entertainer type, not the Gandalf type) I have said that the key to compelling magic is a combination of enchantment and control. When we appear enchanted in our motions and energy while eliciting an impressive amount of control over a perceivable medium, we produce the effect of magic. The funny thing about this is that sorcery works the same way - enchantment and control in the way that we move about reality.

[another bob]

The funny thing about this is that sorcery works the same way - enchantment and control in the way that we move about reality.



Yes, we humans are magicians and tricksters, no doubt, projecting (with greater or lesser skill) the illusion of a separate and enduring self, a clever creation decked out in costumes of our own design -- a "face" conjured up for each occasion, even if just for the mirror.

So here's a good question:

When we are trying to "save face", what are we actually trying to protect and defend?

[Fred Steeves]

This week I have been full of fear. I've been like a rabbit caught in the headlights. It's quite amusing in some ways to see how far I have come only to see myself reduced to this, quite tiny and small, wary of everything and physically jumpy of everything that moves.

Yet knowledge that the fear is illusory is no longer sufficient. This particular fear is my darkest of fears. It's not been prevalent much in my life but when it did show up the intellectual understanding that that would never happen in a million years was enough to send it packing.

Or at least I thought I sent it packing but really it sneaked back into the darkest corner or my being only to come out of its silent lurking at this moment.

So here is it now presented to me so up close and personal that I can't look away and I have been through this process enough in the last couple of years to know that there is to know there is no bypass or avoiding this.

There are no self-help techniques, there's no healing, there's no spiritual energetic techniques, there's no entitites to be removed.....none of that. This is beyond all of that.......or is it before? It actually feels like it is before. This comes first.

After days of being held in this state of fear, knowing what it was but not quite able to surrender to it, I finally got the courage or should I say, desparation to let it just be without any resisting.


Hi Jeanette, wow, so much there. Thank you for sharing that! You reminded me immediately of a dream(or whatever it really was) I had not too long after I first joined Avalon.



There was a man in the community, looked something like Obi Won
Kenobi but 20 years older, who was well known to have the rather peculiar habit
of communing in the wild with the largest and the oldest of the grizzly bear
population. Like gorilla silverbacks. For years now he had occasionally sat very
still quietly with one or the other in their very lair, and claimed that the
experience was sort of a purification, a healing of sorts. Anyone who so dared
to share in his experience was more then welcome, but it was well understood
that the slightest movement in the great bear's presence, or sign of fear, would
cause you to be instantly ripped to shreds. If you stayed perfectly still, and
without fear, you were safe and would receive the purification. The great beast
lived by this ethos and would not deviate under any circumstance.

I
decided to take the old man up on his offer, along with another man close to his
age. We crawled through the opening and into the lair, like a big stone igloo.
Spacious inside. There was a couch and a table. The old man sat down on one end
of the couch, I chose to sit indian style next to him on the floor, and the
other gentleman sat at the table.

Once the great animal made his
entrance, there was no turning back. What he liked to do was to get in real nice
and close to people, let you feel, to know his massiveness and beastly strength,
then sniff your scent and lick you all over, tasting you so to speak. Verrrrry
slowly, just daring you to twitch. The great old beast went first to the man at
the table, who promptly lost his nerve and jumped up to leave. The old man and I
begged him to sit down, but it was too late. The bear was on him, and the last
thing I saw was a few pounds of flesh hanging out of the great beast's
mouth.

That's when things got very real, very fast. With the last of the
remains devoured, the great beast paused briefly at the old man next to me,
giving him a cursory sniff from head to toe, but he already knew the man would
not break. So on to the 'kid' sitting right next door. "No fear Fred, no fear
Fred" I kept thinking, while not daring to look any place besides dead straight
ahead. And then it was time...First the engulfing shadow, then I could smell and
feel the hot, stinking breath on the back of my neck, ever so slow and deep.
Then the huge tongue, smelling my scent, tasting me, just waiting for the first
little twitch, or the faintest scent of fear. I can still feel it, like it never
really quite went away. There was no fear, but it was wildly riding the razor's
edge.



Then, just as I felt like I couldn't take it any more, and was
really going to lose it, it was over. The bear backed off, snorted his grudging
approval, and I was released to wake up and start the day.


At that point it was just a very realistic and bizarre dream, but these days I'm not so sure. It's all metaphorical of course, but from time to time my day will just be paused by this 'presence', and I'll think: "Yep, we're in that cave alright, too late to bolt for the door now". So whenever I see someone in the process of destroying themselves, I think of the one old man in the cave who couldn't bear the pressure, and tried to escape anyway.

Of course Jim Morrison was right that no one here gets out alive, but sooner or later, whether this life or some other, we have to make it past that big old Grizzly Bear. I think you'll do just fine, but can you feel him licking the back of your neck?

Cheers,
Fred

[Jenci]

What you are sharing here is wonderful, and certainly a blessing for those who are sincerely interested in liberation, rather than lip service to some enlightenment ideal. The battle is in the very trenches where you find yourself. It is not elsewhere, in some other dimension or disembodied state. That's just escapism, and never suceeds, because one is always brought back sooner or later to the steps they have tried to by-pass along the way. Most so-called spirituality is just that form of escapism, gussied up in fine-sounding names and offering a whole deck of methods -- paper cards to build the holy edifice of self-confirmation.
This much I have realised. Each one of the "spiritual" things that I have tried to do has eventually come under the gaze of the inquiry. They have all been seen as movements towards making me or my situation better.

It's escapism wrapped up in a tempting guise of spiritual growth. Each one has had to be discarded. I had to give up the sun gazing the other day and I was really enjoying that but however much I told myself I was just doing it without any expectations of outcome, underneath I knew the same seeking which is avoiding "what is" was lurking underneath.

....and just as I stop doing that, I see the 'next thing to try' is already forming out of remnants of the last one. It's relentless and so it goes on but this is how the "me" will always play out its story, the only difference is now with each letting go, there is more awareness of what is really going on and more honesty and sincerity to own up and admit the silent and secretive thoughts with are motivating the actions.

Some of these thoughts are so silent that they are unthought, yet they are still there, driving the actions and the desires. In the inquiry they just show up and I have no choice but to admit that is what is going on. No secrets. There can't be any secrets any more.

It is not about telling anyone else but finally getting really real and letting the light of truth penetrate all of the darkness and by darkness I don't just mean the unpleasant but I also mean all that is hidden from me.







Thank you, Bob for your detailed and thoughtful reply. It really wasn't necessary though. You could have just posted -




"Don't move!"


and I would have got that. :)

Jeanette

[Eram]

This much I have realised. Each one of the "spiritual" things that I have tried to do has eventually come under the gaze of the inquiry. They have all been seen as movements towards making me or my situation better.

It's escapism wrapped up in a tempting guise of spiritual growth. Each one has had to be discarded. I had to give up the sun gazing the other day and I was really enjoying that but however much I told myself I was just doing it without any expectations of outcome, underneath I knew the same seeking which is avoiding "what is" was lurking underneath.

....and just as I stop doing that, I see the 'next thing to try' is already forming out of remnants of the last one. It's relentless and so it goes on but this is how the "me" will always play out its story, the only difference is now with each letting go, there is more awareness of what is really going on and more honesty and sincerity to own up and admit the silent and secretive thoughts with are motivating the actions.

Some of these thoughts are so silent that they are unthought, yet they are still there, driving the actions and the desires. In the inquiry they just show up and I have no choice but to admit that is what is going on. No secrets. There can't be any secrets any more.

It is not about telling anyone else but finally getting really real and letting the light of truth penetrate all of the darkness and by darkness I don't just mean the unpleasant but I also mean all that is hidden from me.







Thank you, Bob for your detailed and thoughtful reply. It really wasn't necessary though. You could have just posted -




"Don't move!"


and I would have got that. :)

Jeanette

Hi Jeanette,

I really enjoy your sharing of what is going on in your process.
It helps me and surely many others too.

When you say ...


It's escapism wrapped up in a tempting guise of spiritual growth. Each one has had to be discarded

Does it mean that the minds urge to escape also stops when you discard it's manifestations?

I wonder about that.

I see the escapism too in lot of things that I do these days, but until now... reading your post I thought it was wisest to be aware of it, but to give into it as long as the will to do it is there and try to see it for what it is at the same time.

Adyashanti talks about this in an interview with a woman where he explains that when he got his first realisation (or whatever they call it) he still liked to ride his bike (participate in races) and he only stopped doing it when 'he lost the taste for it' (his words)

[another bob]

Thank you, Bob for your detailed and thoughtful reply. It really wasn't necessary though. You could have just posted -




"Don't move!"


and I would have got that. :)

Jeanette

;)

Yes, I understand that is so, but there are also others, for whom some elaboration could be helpful.

I almost skipped the original written response altogether, to just send this:


http://i50.tinypic.com/2sbahzq.jpg


Blessings!

[another bob]

Adyashanti talks about this in an interview with a woman where he explains that when he got his first realisation (or whatever they call it) he still liked to ride his bike (participate in races) and he only stopped doing it when 'he lost the taste for it' (his words)

Nothing stands in the way of your liberation and it can happen here and now, but for your being more interested in other things. And you cannot fight with your interests. You must go with them, see through them and and watch them reveal themselves as mere errors of judgments and appreciation. Discard every self-seeking motive as soon as it is seen and you need not search for truth; truth will find you.

~Nisargadatta Maharaj

[Jenci]

At that point it was just a very realistic and bizarre dream, but these days I'm not so sure. It's all metaphorical of course, but from time to time my day will just be paused by this 'presence', and I'll think: "Yep, we're in that cave alright, too late to bolt for the door now". So whenever I see someone in the process of destroying themselves, I think of the one old man in the cave who couldn't bear the pressure, and tried to escape anyway.

Of course Jim Morrison was right that no one here gets out alive, but sooner or later, whether this life or some other, we have to make it past that big old Grizzly Bear. I think you'll do just fine, but can you feel him licking the back of your neck?

Cheers,
Fred


Hi Fred

Some interesting parallels with your dream but to clarify here what I am saying - it is not about not feeling fear but the opposite, actually feeling the fear.

It's about walking completely unshielded right into the fear and allowing it to do its very worst. To continue the metaphore, instead of not flinching so as to not provoke the bear it is walking up to the bear and letting it rip me to shreds.

The thing is the fear of the bear (death) is the easy one. It seems I have a fear which is more undesireable than that to me and that is where I am at right now.

I feel it directly only in very short bursts. The energetic movement which is created in my body with the grasping and the contraction in the gut is intense. It seems I can only bear so much at one time......or maybe I am just being given what I can handle at any one time.


Mooji talks about this fear.


"The mind must have something to threaten you with to hold you hostage............Be daring with life, say "Okay, turn me into a street beggar if that is what you wish, but I'll be a free street beggar." And then you will see where the shaking is coming from. Can you do it?"


Of course, like death, the fear of being a street beggar I can do too but my fear is worse. Even in all of this, the story of "me" is running to its typical alcoholic form - my problems (and fears) are always bigger than everyone else's!

So the instruction is 'don't move' and keep up the gallows humour :lol:


Jeanette

[Jenci]

Hi Jeanette,

I really enjoy your sharing of what is going on in your process.
It helps me and surely many others too.

When you say ...


It's escapism wrapped up in a tempting guise of spiritual growth. Each one has had to be discarded

Does it mean that the minds urge to escape also stops when you discard it's manifestations?

I wonder about that.

I see the escapism too in lot of things that I do these days, but until now... reading your post I thought it was wisest to be aware of it, but to give into it as long as the will to do it is there and try to see it for what it is at the same time.

Adyashanti talks about this in an interview with a woman where he explains that when he got his first realisation (or whatever they call it) he still liked to ride his bike (participate in races) and he only stopped doing it when 'he lost the taste for it' (his words)

Hi Waky


No the mind doesn't stop. Perhaps a better way to say it than 'discard' which suggests I am doing something, is that it falls away and it falls away in its own time.

I become aware of an activity and the sense that is it not the truth becomes greater. I use inquiry into the thought process behind the activity - What am I believing that is not true? Who needs this? Can I find the person who is doing this? etc etc

The questions for inquiry change as the mind is quick to give out answers it thinks is right. The inquiry is to catch out the mind and show the illusion that it is creating.

The illusion is seen from the real and in that truth the illusion just disappears, however the activity may remain for a while.

It's a bit like driving a car when you take your foot of the accelerator and the car keeps moving. It's got some momentum to it but eventually it will stop on its own.

Although the illusion disappears the mind is quick to create it again in another form. If you keep on top of the inquiry and stay one step ahead of the mind, it means you don't put your foot back on the gas again. One day you just find that it's stopped. That activitity has just fallen away or to put it another way the person who did that for that reason is no longer there.

As I said to start, the mind does not stop though and it will recreate something new every time something falls away. This is where the inquiry has to be disciplined and vigilant to keep up with the mind.

The thing about the spiritual type temptations are that in some ways they seem necessary. We pursue all these spiritual activities to actually get a sense and understand how we are not limited to this body/mind/life.

We realise that we are all of this, manifesting as this moment and yet in the inquiry we can see that the spiritual activities are in conflict with that realisation. Anything which is not complete acceptance of this moment as it is, is seen as seeking something better or escapism and therefore in conflict with the realisation of true self. The conflict is separation.

If you carry on the inquiry long enough then any action which seeks to change 'what is' becomes very painful. I've seen his point made by the teachers and I can also confirm that it is what has happened to me in my experience.


And it is this point about the Truth being 'what is' in this moment why you shouldn't fight the urges and the interests even though you know they are escapism. Instead you bring awareness to them, this is taking the foot off the gas. Over time they will lose momentum.

I've always checked my doors are locked at bedtime but just recently I have been checking that all the windows are closed and the checking is not once but many times, OCD fashion. Bringing awareness to the activitiy means no labelling or judging it (only the mind does this).

That's not easy when you make your way downstairs for the third time to go round checking the windows and doors :lol: but what is happening is just 'what is' at that moment. It's as much the truth as the previous moment or the next one. It's the conflict with what is happening which is the illusion of separation.

One day, I guess, the frantic door and window checking will just stop when it has run out of momentum because this is how it works. In the meantime I don't mind (well most of the time, lol)

I love what Jon Bernie says about this:-
"In the end one just rides the wave because one knows this is how it works"


Jeanette