Contemplating death

[bram]

It is a fact that everybody you know might die today. Although we like to pretend that we are immortal, we are all destined to die, and everybody we have ever met will die. In fact, we begin to die from the moment we are born, and we have no way of knowing when we will die.
Probably, if we think carefully, we can list out many people we have known who have died (depending how old we ourselves are). Although it might seem morbid to dwell upon death, if we stop and think for a while, we can probably think of a number of people we have known who have passed on- in my case, (at age 60) a recollection exercise came up with a great number more than I expected.
Amongst those people, many of them died unexpectedly. Many children die before their parents. Every day, thousands of people leave home, expecting another ordinary day, and never come back. They die in work accidents, traffic accidents, get knocked down crossing the same street they have crossed a thousand times before, collapse from heart failures, strong and healthy people die whilst jogging and exercising. There are many causes of untimely, or unexpected death.
If everybody you know, including yourself, is not immortal and could die today, would you be ready for this? Is there anything you need to do or say, any letter or email you need to write, phone call you need to make? Have you been putting this off because you will do it later? What if there is no later, and this person will die today, maybe this very hour, without you making the call?
We ourselves, every single one of us, never know if today will be our last day. When we go to sleep at night, we might never wake up. And yet still we behave as if we were immortal, as if we can continue to avoid doing the things we know we should do, putting them off to do them some time later. If we suddenly find ourselves dying, from whatever cause, are we ready to go, or are there things we need to do before we go? If so, we had better get on with them and do them now, because now is all there is. The weight of things we have been putting off is like a ball and chain that we drag around with us, ironically bringing us closer to the death that we have been denying in the first place.
Carlos Castenada said that we should treat death as our greatest ally and advisor; that we must accept the inevitability of our death and in doing so we would be constructing a bridge to the infinite.
Death is only a morbid concern to us because we prefer to think of ourselves as immortal, in so doing we don’t need to bother about getting our house in order, or cleaning our mirror. By accepting death and preparing ourselves for it we can find a lightness of being and a fluidity to enable us to move forward spiritually.

[Mutchie]

Death is the one thing we all have to face but is it the end ? something tells me it isnt ...

[markpierre]

Nice topic to take a look at. What you're suggesting is lovely, the question is 'how?'. Do you have a viewpoint you like to take? And it is a really honest one?
I think it will have a lot to do with the sorts of experiences people individually have around death, and so you may be taking something away from
virtually everyone by defining it, especially by defining it in your terms.

My memory defines it by the anxiety in the body that reacts to the idea of finality. Like a decision that can't be reversed.
Lost loved ones are maybe an example. Or loss of self. Or maybe a decision that was taken away because I refused to make it.
There's a distorted sense of safety in 'solidness', and being able to locate somewhere in the expanses of eternity and infinity.

But my experience has taken me back and forth in several different ways and the veil is thin enough to see through if I choose,
and so I want to define it as nothing much at all. It doesn't seem to be. Certainly not what the body fears. Jesus defined it as 'unaware' of God.
So the latter mind doesn't have a problem, or a question that needs to be answered.
But the body does.
The body gets preoccupied with 'how can I escape this?' It has to be reminded somehow that it isn't a concern.
You can forget the joy of freedom sometimes and only remember the vastness of it.

Everyone has a viewpoint, and I would hope some would have some truthful ones. The idea is pulling a lot of old stuff behind it, and unless you're pretty clear with yourself
there aren't many people who can step up to it as if it's nothing.
So maybe it would be good to explore what people think it is. Not to be certain or right or wrong about it, but to see what's really there that can influence virtually
everything we think and feel and do in our 'doing' and in our sense of self. In our avoiding or our distracting or staving it off, or however you want to say it.
And to be willing for it to be whatever that viewpoint is, and then whatever can be added to it.

Contemplating death and meeting death and even fearing and rejecting death, are all part of that process into lightness.
I don't think it matters what you think or believe or how you react to it. The evolution is in what you feel and can accept about yourself,
that allows those thoughts and ideas and reactions to change with you.
It doesn't matter where anyone is in that process, because it's a process. You can't skip things and complete it.

[bram]

Hi Markpierre,

I hope I am not defining death in my post, my concern is not about what happens to us when we die, as I confess I have no idea about this. I think my beliefs are generally aligned with the buddhist view, but this is just theory to me. I still cant fully understand the buddhist idea of emptiness or sunnyata, and I have no idea what part of us is supposed to carry on, as buddhism says that we have no soul and it is just our karma which perpetuates.

What I am more concerned with is how we can change our lives now, by fully accepting the inevitabilty of our death, rather than trying to pretend we are immortal and therefore we can behave as crappily as we like, because we can always fix it later. Unless there is no later.......in which case our actions need to be improved to the level that we would be satisfied with what we do, even if it was our last act on earth.

[Cjay]

I have contemplated death quite a lot this past month. My mother died three weeks ago. One of my best friends died 10 days ago. My son's other grandmother died today.

Each death was/is very sad but I am at peace with it and I hope they are all at peace too.

[Mandala]

I don't want to die yet, however I'm not really afraid of death. I feel we are eternal beings. The one thing that causes me the most concern would be the manner of the death. Will it be quick and painless, or long and suffering. That being said, I usually don't spend the time contemplating or focusing on the subject. I just live for today and in the moment.

[ulli]

I have contemplated death quite a lot this past month. My mother died three weeks ago. One of my best friends died 10 days ago. My son's other grandmother died today.

Each death was/is very sad but I am at peace with it and I hope they are all at peace too.

This happened to me as well...many deaths happening close together.
Like a door opening in time and some gigantic hand reaching inside my life and grabbing a group of people all at once...then everything back to normal for several years.

Of course as we get older this starts to happen more frequently. My grandfather lived to 89 and for the last ten years of his life he would bicycle to three funerals a week, seeing everyone he'd grown up with disappear. His entire social life became funerals.
This was in a rural community...
Quite different from the city, where social life for the elderly comes through a TV screen.
That gave me the idea that people often die because of loneliness....
Because what point is there to go on when there is no one else around to relate to? Motivation causes life.

Wondering now how many people refuse to die because it would mean missing the next installment of their favorite soap opera?

[Wind]

Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" --- and find that there is no death.

- Eckhart Tolle

[Fred Steeves]

What I am more concerned with is how we can change our lives now, by fully accepting the inevitabilty of our death, rather than trying to pretend we are immortal and therefore we can behave as crappily as we like, because we can always fix it later. Unless there is no later.......in which case our actions need to be improved to the level that we would be satisfied with what we do, even if it was our last act on earth.

Hi Bram, an age old subject, and always a good one. I tend to look at death more as an old friend now, a motivator so to speak. Sort of in the same vein as The Great Deceiver. My old friend death is very persistent in reminding me that time is short, you better quit messing around. My worst nightmare is either laying in bed dying of old age, or finding myself back on the "other side" after a sudden unforeseen accident, and helplessly thinking: "I just had a precious life brimming with opportunity, and I pissed it away being bogged down in petty crap".

"And now it's too late".

Cheers,
Fred

[Mike]

hi Bram, i believe it was *DonJuan* who offered the advice : "death is always to your left. use death as your advisor"; Casteneda just wrote it down, right? he he (maybe another thread there;))

[Cjay]

I used to fear death. Then one night, sixteen months ago, my son pointed a gun at me in a drug, alcohol and situation-induced psychotic rage. As people often say, my whole life (and my fear of death) flashed before my eyes. What followed was complete calm. I said something like "go ahead and shoot me if it will make you feel better. I hope the rest of your family will continue to help you." After a second or two, he threw the gun at me.

Since that moment, I have accepted the inevitability of death. I have always believed that death isn't the end but more like the end of a chapter. There may be many more chapters to follow. I have often wondered where my soul will go, what it will remember, what it will see/know/experience. I am looking forward to death with child-like curiosity but I love life and intend to stay in this body until it is beyond repair and unable to remain alive without machines.

When I die, I want my body to be recycled by converting it to biochar, liquid organic fertilizer, bio-fuel, heat and electricity by heating my body to 800 °C in an oxygen-free oven. I want the biochar inoculated with soil micro-organisms then spread the biochar and liquid fertilizer evenly all over a circle with a 3 metre radius and dug into the soil. My body can then boost the fertility of the soil for thousands of years. A mango tree is to be planted in the centre of the circle. The circle is to be in the middle of a huge forest, a permanent gene-bank public reserve, planted with thousands of species of plants that can all provide food and/or medicine to anyone who needs it. I request that the mango tree and the entire gene-bank forest be held in trust by the local community to be protected and nurtured to ensure a long and bountiful life for all.

[conk]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51R71SCN68L._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg

Have we all been programmed to believe in death? No reason to buy into the culture of death.

[GloriousPoetry]

Good posting for today is the Day of the Dead Celebration. I think death is only sad for the people left behind and not for the soul who moves on..........

[Snookie]

My mother told me that shortly after my father died, he appeared to her to tell her not to worry. He said that he came to tell her that everything was going to be alright. (Reminds me of the Bob Marley song "Don't Worry).

He had a NDE about a year and a half before he died. He told my uncle he was going down a long dark tunnel which was so peaceful that he didn't want to come back, but the nurses kept yelling at him to come back for his wife and kids. So he fought his way back even though he didn't want to. He told my uncle "I no longer afraid to die". Knowing this has helped reduce my fear of death. We were taught to fear death as we were raised in a home that taught you either go to heaven, hell or purgatory after you die.

[Syl]

it might be easy to say that i am ready to die under whatever circumstances life will throw at me,. and i will say so under the assumption that my being beholds more than just the physicle aspect of being. But.. nah, i wouldnt know,. since there are many ways to die, relatively pleasant and unpleasent ways.

Some days i feel good, and the last thing i think about is dying, some days life feels like an endless continuation of things that make one wonder if it even makes sence, on those days sometimes i think, i wouldnt mind if i didnt woke up tomorrow,..

but surely i dont keep such thoughts for long, since truly i want to life., and enjoy doing so.

I am greatfull for being here, and life and everything that comes with it seems like a given fact, within the boundaries of what is given is cause and effect,. to the extend we can control, and beyond,.

its a cliché to say live your life like its the last day you have,. and thats defenitely not something i think daily,. but its not a cliché for nothing.

Death will come, but in the grand scheme of plans is it such a bad thing?
And for us westerners whom enjoy the privelige to extend their thoughts beyond the point of sole survival regardless of being enslaved in the goldencage, isnt it great we have these oppertunities!

yet what do i know,. i am 27, havent lost my grandparents yet (well i lost 2 but i was to young to be emotionaly affected by it) And nobody real dear to my heart for that matter,.

I once picked up a customer, a 91 old lady, and as i drove her home she told be the hardest part about getting older was losing everybody around her,.
She told me she had good life and was ready..

Death is fact, so are unforseen accidents, so is war,.

i feel priviliged for the live i'm living and have been given, wouldnt want to die tomorrow, nor today, nor putting my friends and relatives through the grief,.
and wouldnt want it to be vice versa,. but its bound to happen..

my grandparents are both 83 now, and have been thinking about 'the moment' sometimes,..

I dont have a clue how i will handle this, and dont want to think about it,.
but i cant just take them for granted i realized,..
as it seems we cant take everyday just for granted,.

live is amazing for all i know, and it will remain amazing beyond this physicle incarnation.

But can i talk for those why are terminal ill,. wheelchairbound,. or unwillingly ran someone over,. does the amazing matrix still makes sence when everything you believed ever possible comes tumbling down because circumstances are such..

God i am gratefull.

[DeBron]

Some people face death like they face life. They sleep through it. HAHA:p

[avid]

I know I haven't got long left - but my 'ostrich-head' mentality negates this. However, a dear friend told me years ago how 'tidy' her mother was, all paperwork in order, all instructions clear. I look around my mound of filing and panic - I MUST sort out my own mess NOW! I've got rid of all my extraneous possessions, my wardrobe is minimal. It's the paperwork! Just when one thinks it's all sorted the solicitor changes companies and there goes your will into another place! Filing and shredding here I come. I don't want to be a burden for those left behind. Leave clear instructions. You'll feel better - even if you are well - it'll be a load off everyone's mind. I know it won't matter to me once I cross, but the mess people leave is heartbreaking to those left to clear it up! Tomorrow's job is to tidy my desk!!! :-)

[markpierre]

Hi Markpierre,

I hope I am not defining death in my post, my concern is not about what happens to us when we die, as I confess I have no idea about this. I think my beliefs are generally aligned with the buddhist view, but this is just theory to me. I still cant fully understand the buddhist idea of emptiness or sunnyata, and I have no idea what part of us is supposed to carry on, as buddhism says that we have no soul and it is just our karma which perpetuates.

What I am more concerned with is how we can change our lives now, by fully accepting the inevitabilty of our death, rather than trying to pretend we are immortal and therefore we can behave as crappily as we like, because we can always fix it later. Unless there is no later.......in which case our actions need to be improved to the level that we would be satisfied with what we do, even if it was our last act on earth.


I didn't think you did define it overtly. The OP is beautifully written. But then soon after someone defined it overtly as 'sad'. A personal physical reaction. Not the definition of the term,
but defining it by how we are affected, and that's fair enough, and honest. I guess I define other peoples passing with a sense of relief that I acknowledged from the only death experiences that I've
recalled. The content of those memories was unfinished business, but the context was life continuing and cycling. But standing at the door and even being perfectly willing to knock on it
a few times, the resistance was always the notion of things yet unfinished. More than I dread leaving here, I dreaded returning and having to redo the whole thing again. Of course that's
as much delusional as anything. Each death is as 'sad' as the distance that can develop in any relationship. What's more sad perhaps is the opportunity to engage being wasted, and lamenting it
after it's too late.

I'm much closer to my deceased father. I'm closer to my teacher since he passed. Not because he passed, but since then. We're more equals now. Do you see? None of what we're conditioned to
or ever learn about death is true, yet we continue on as if it were.

I don't know if getting right with the idea is a help in fulfilling this chapter in the journey or not. It needs to be experienced to be believed. Passing through and out of our fears certainly is.
The fear of death is often the least of them. It's often used as an escape from them, you've noticed.
The real point is probably that 'now' is the only time there is, and it is the most important thing to learn. It's being somewhere other than the present that paralyses progress.
And however you illustrate and emphasis it is a help.