The Oops Thread

[Fred Steeves]

You know, sometimes I think it's fun to just take a step back from all the seriousness, and have a good laugh at ourselves. Ever find yourself going "OOPS" like this poor guy, before he had drank his Minute Maid?

MOBdTP9ZB-I

Here's one of my examples: One day while skipping school (as usual) in the 10th grade with a group of friends, we were hanging out in front of the local convenience store when I got so bored, I decided it was time to liven things up. The grand idea? Was to make a prank phone call to a psychiatrist. Brilliant!!!

After picking one out randomly from the yellow pages at the pay phone, I made the call with everyone snickering and trying to listen in. The more my friends snickered, the thicker and heavier I laid it on, til eventually I was telling him I was prepared to end my life by running out into the busy traffic.

Well, this little addition had my little group of fellow deliquents doubled over in laughter, until suddenly two police cars came whizzing into the parking lot, and screeching to a halt right in front of me with doors flying open. Let me tell you about kids scattering to the four winds in the blink of an eye. http://www.bigtenfever.com/forums/images/smilies/rofl.gif I've never since seen people disappear that quickly.

I was the last one to see the cops coming, so it was too late to do anything but hang the phone up, and watch them decend on me while thinking: "Oops!"

It didn't take long to convince them I wasn't really suicidal, but by then my main concern was what were mom and dad going to do? Uh oh...
http://nexus.2012info.ca/forum/images/smilies/peep.gif

So who else here has a good oops story?

Cheers,
Fred

P.S. Oh, in case anyone was wondering what mom and dad decided to do? Well, turns out the psychiatrist was none too pleased with my little prank either, and he demanded reimbursement for his time. Not only did they ensure I earned the money to pay him back pronto, but I also had to actually go pay him AT his office, alone, look him in the eye, and apologize. Ouch!!!

How fitting.http://nexus.2012info.ca/forum/images/smilies/newadditions/smile.gif

[conk]

I have a ten year of age story. My family was not exactly rich, so we made do with little. I didn't have many toy and envyed those who did. One boy had a cool BB gun, which he let me play with one afternoon. I shot a few cans, missed a bird, shot a few leaves floating in the creek. Then I saw a car about 75 yards away. I raised the rifle, aimed and shot at it, not thinking that in a million years it would actually reach the car. Almost simultaneously I pulled the trigger and watched the rear window shatter. OOPS!

I ran like a mad dog straight to my house, inadvertently leading the driver to my front porch. I flew up the steps and fell, bursting my leg open badly. Blood everywhere. My mom comes out and sees the blood at the same time the driver walked up with a look to kill. He complained and she yelled at him to get off her property and come back tomorrow and she'd pay him for the damage. Good mommie that she was her first concern was my battered leg. She was so sweet, kind, and caring.................until I got home from getting stitches. Gulp! I got into a ton of trouble, as I should have.

A few days later we were shooting firecracker balls with a sling shot. I shot at the neighbor's garbage can, not realizing she was so close by. BAM! She screamed and ran towards me. I knew which way to run that time. ;) Haha, outran her. OOPS, can't outrun the telephone call to mom. Busted!

[Fred Steeves]

A few days later we were shooting firecracker balls with a sling shot. I shot at the neighbor's garbage can, not realizing she was so close by. BAM! She screamed and ran towards me. I knew which way to run that time. ;) Haha, outran her. OOPS, can't outrun the telephone call to mom. Busted!

Yeah conk, I learned that lesson the hard way too. Like, if you're inclined to go throw oranges at cars, make the target any given anonymous car passing down the street, and preferably ply your trade by cover of night...:rolleyes:

[Ivanhoe]

I was raised in a poor family also, and as such I didn't have many toys.
The current school craze at that time was tops, and I desperately wanted to be cool like the other kids, so I stole one from a local store. I knew it was wrong but I wanted it sooo much and we couldn't afford the 98 cents it cost so I just took it.
To cut a long story short, my mom caught me.
She marched me back to the store and made me hand it back to the manager and apologize for stealing it. I was never so embarrassed in my life!
Then I was spanked all the way home. ( 6 blocks!)
I never stole anything again! (Thanks Mom, tough love! :o)

[Playdo of Ataraxas]

Karma has always kept a short leash on me. There have been numerous times that I have had instant karma after doing some stupid things. In High School, during Halloween, a few buddies and I were driving around the neighborhoods smashing pumpkins and performing general vandalism. At one house, there was a scarecrow made of straw and clothes. I grabbed it and we drug it down the road as we sped off. The next day my mom got a call from the owner, an elderly gentleman. He said he found my wallet with my ID in it in his front yard. Apparently, it had fallen out of my pocket, which had never happened before. He said if I brought his clothes back and apologized to his face he wouldn't call the cops. One of the more embarrassing and humiliating moments in my life.

[Fred Steeves]

I've found humiliation can be an excellent teacher, and also a motivator to start doing things differently. This observation seems to be backed up so far, in that most of the arrogant people I encounter in daily life, haven't had many encounters with humiliation. Either that, or the experiences are summarily buried and forgotten.

[Fred Steeves]

Just so ya'll know this thread isn't necessarily focused on childish Oopsies, here's one from a later era. One night at the bar in my early 20's, I offered to give someone a ride home around 10:00 or so at night, and it was to a somewhat unfamiliar area. Only 15 or so minutes away though, no worries then, and I had only had a couple of beers to boot. Dropped him off no problem, and headed back.

At the long straightaway we had already driven, one of my favorite songs at the time "Tom Sawyer" by Rush came on the radio, so I cranked it up full blast, and being that there wasn't another car on the road, I punched the gas pedal. As the speedometer reached 68 mph in a 35 zone, a warning sign reminded me of the hairpin 15 mph corner just ahead. S**t! I was going WAY too fast, but as there were no cars coming the other way, I could make use of two lanes while rapidly slowing down.

Well, when the car began to spin out at the apex of the curve, it was still "s**t!', I was going to spin off the beaten path a bit, but all would be well. Just a little scare, with a sharp reminder to be more careful! So the car spins off the road, tires screaching, not even going but maybe 30 or so any more, but when it suddenly flipped upside down and cold black water came rushing in through the open windows, it became apparent there had been a ditch full of recent rain water waiting on other side of the road. OOPS!!!

This is where adrenilaline kicks in, and within about 10 seconds or so I had made my way out the window to the under carriage of the car, jumped into the waist deep water, and found myself up top the bank staring back down in utter shock. What made it even more surreal, was the combination of the headlights still shining on brights, and the guitar solo to "Tom Sawyer" wailing away unchecked. That was also the first time I tasted death.

Oddly enough, leaving the lights and radio blaring while going to get help was another big OOPS. When I returned an hour or so later in a towtruck, there was a Florida State Trooper who became extremely pissed off when I told him who I was.

It was by now a full accident scene, with fire engines, police everywhere, and another big diesel tow truck was already in the process of dragging my car out, with several spotlights trained all over it as it proceeded. They had it about half way out as we pulled up.

Turned out the trooper was so upset with me was because of the way the accident scene appeared, radio and lights still on. They had all been in no hurry, as they were expecting to discover a body or two squished in the muck as the car was removed.

He gave me the ass reaming from hell, and then drove me home.

[Poly Hedra]

Just a little one, after having dry, sore lips and traveling back home to Ireland for a week, I took my lip balm. At the end of the week I went to get my lip balm out of my bag, put some on my finger and had to do a double take..... For a whole week I was putting my boyfriends athletes foot cream on my lips. OOPS! lol.
No wonder they weren't feeling any better :embarassed:

[Flash]

Can the oops have some innocent sexual connotations? If so, I have a big oops which turned out funny.

[Mike]

college. drunk as hell. leaving a bar. snowing like hell. almost no depth perception. freezing and windy...

i leave this bar and take a left, with full intent to make it back to campus. i pass a group of students who insist i'm going the wrong way. 'yeah, ok, sure thing wise-guy' and i keep plodding along my path. i pass another group of students: 'you're goin the wrong way buddy.' 'ok ok, i get it, f#ck with the drunk guy night. i get it' and i stay the course, mumbling to myself that it's gonna take a little more than that to fool clever Chinaski. well the 3rd group of kids finally convinced me, and i drunkenly and humbly made my way back to campus - an hr and a half walk in what was to be the beginning of a blizzard that would shut down the campus for 3 days. and the only reason i'd made it back really is cuz a friend had found me passed out on a snowbank and loaded me into his car and back to my room. i was only a stone's throw from campus when he found me, but i hadn't a clue cuz i couldn't see a damn thing. i'd stopped briefly to rest and passed out. i could have died out there, easily.

**********************************************

here's another...

drunk as hell once again...and driving. oops.

i'm driving the wrong way down one-way roads in the city, and i'm told from my friend that i kept sayin "god damnit, why can't i find a proper road to go down!" it never once occured to me to simply turn the car around (think hunter s. thompson here)

a little background: i was at a college bar that night, in Syracuse, and since i was paying with a credit card i had to meet a certain spending minimum, which was outrageous btw - something like $50. i was already drunk at that point, and somewhere in that drunken haze i'd come up with the brilliant idea to do shots, which was something i almost never did, even if it was bloody new years eve and a homeless man had bought the thing for me. needless to say, i was plastered.

...so i'm going down one-way roads and those familiar red and blue lights flicker behind me and i know i'm screwed. i pull over. 5 mins goes by. 10. nobody is approaching my car. my friend is half-conscious and drooling on himself. every minute or so he falls asleep and snores with such vigor that it wakes him up. then he resumes drooling on himself. finally the cop approaches, a woman. i roll my window down and offer my information, to which she says: put that sh#t away...and for God's sake get yourself home and never drive drunk again(my friend and i have a slightly different version of the exact quote, but that's how i remember it). she goes back to her car, leaves. i'm thoroughly confused by the whole thing and am somewhat reticent to drive home - not because i'm hammered but because i'm a bit paranoid that i'm involved in some clever scheme that i'm too drunk n tired to untangle but will nevertheless get me in much more trouble than a simple arrest.

i finally do start the ignition and drive off - *still going down one-way roads*. i got on the highway...going the *wrong* way, dodging vehicles coming towards me at great speed. long story short, i made it home somehow...i still can't recall how.

the moral of the story boys n girls...all together now....

[mosquito]

I posted this elsewhere, but it's highly appropriate here .....

During the 1980s, when I lived in South Africa, I had a friend who was the proud owner of a white 1962 Jaguar, and he had been asked to be the chauffeur for the bridesmaids at a friend's wedding. So, there we were, outside the church (in Johannesburg), my friend, 3 little girls, a friend of the bride's mother and me, just milling round before the ceremony. The bridegroom came over and introduced himself to us, and then moved on, just as the bridal car, a blue Mercedes, arrived. The bride's mother's friend then looked at us conspiratorially and said "well, I don't know about you, but I don't think she has much taste". To which I replied, "yeah, he's a bit of a jerk, isn't he ?". She looked at me and said "I meant the car ....".

[modwiz]

Back in my Post Office days, 40 years ago, I had a very anticipated date with a very yummy lady. This was not a dinner date this was a go to her house date. Tantric Tango if ya know what I mean. :eyebrows: Anyway, I shared my excitement with a few of the guys. Bragging was more like it. After all, spending time with this lady was not for peasants. Well, when I saw her to confirm our 'appointment', she told me it was a no go. One of the guys I told was her main guy. (These were hippie days, with looser commitments)

Oops! :o

[Flash]

OK Chinaski, my story is no worst than yours

I was 19 and was in an exchange program between Canadians and Salvadorians. We were 2 French Canadians, 5 English Canadians and 7 Salvadorians and were supposed to work on differenet projects (2 months on a Canadian Indian reserve, 2 months in a small Quebec town and 4 months in El Salvador). I could not speak English nor Spanish and was learning (still have this French accent cause I learned too late in life to speak English).

I had realised that often, verbs ending in ER in French would keep the same root but end with AR in Spanish. So, I was trying my non existent Spanishon the Savaldorians one evening while we were trying to have a group meeting amongst people who could not speak each other language. That was funny to start with.

At one point, there was a group decision that was going to be taken with some says and votes, but I really could not hold it anylonger, I needed to go to the toilet. But I wanted the group to wait for me because I wanted to be involved into the decision making.

So I said in a bad slang French "Attendez-moi, je vais pisser et je reviens". Then I said in broken English "Wait for me, I am going to pee". And finally I said in Spanish (remember, French verb root, ending changed) "Esperan me, me voy a pissar".

Then, the Salvadorian guys were getting up, one after the other and said "Voy contigo" "I am going with you", laughing. A second boy would then pull the first one down and say "No, I am the one going with you", and it went on like that for a while, boys puling and pushing each other, telling "No Yo voy contigo".

Then, for the next three days, the Salvadorians guys would stroke by arm for example and pass comments on how beautiful my skin is, or would stroke my hair and give comments on silk hair, and on and on, they were all on the game, teasing and laughing.

After three days, a Salvarorian girl had pity on me and finally told me what I had said in the meeting. In Salvadorian slang, i had said "Wait for me, I am going to f ck". OOPS

When I arrived in the small Salvadorian town few months later, and I would present myself, by hearing my name the town people would start laughing and would say "Oh, you are the one going to f ck" OOPS, wasn't i shy!!!

[Playdo of Ataraxas]

It's fun to divulge. I don't get the chance to tell this story often.

The most repulsive ooops I've made was in Jena. Walking with friends, one French, English and Spanish, truly a motley crew, through the city one day I suffered a sudden paroxysm of coughing and choking. Being accustomed to humidity and mild winters, I was quite unadaptive to the dark, cold, long German winter and was often krank. After retching for a few moments, I righted myself and hocked a huge loogey indiscriminately. I just wanted to be rid of the latest confluence of my 6 week sickness. I discovered quite promptly that it landed between the ironed shirt and leather jacket of a very tall, incredibly pissed-off German dude that was walking by me unbeknownst. The physics of how it happened still intrigue me. He turned beet-red with anger, rightly so, and I felt lucky to be away from there without bodily harm. It was the first time that I was verbally berated auf Deutsch. Not to be the last. I didn't exactly understand what he said, but I do recall hearing a lot of imperatives.

[conk]

This is a bit sexual, so read no further if you are too sensitive.

I had a hot date with a woman, much like Modwiz the date was simply to meet up at her house. This was in the mid 70s. Free love, drugs were new, life was simple and fun. Someone had given me a tab of LSD, my first time. What better time than when with a gorgeous woman, eh? We chat, we drink a little, a few doobies. Meanwhile the acid is working it's magic and I'm feeling like Mr. Large Lothario. The making out started and moved to the bedroom. The act begins and in my mind I am a God, a King, the romancer dancer. I mean I am POSITIVE this woman is flying higher than any woman has flown before. I open my eyes to see the pure joy and bliss in her eyes.............and I see something quite different. I see a frightened, confused woman that looks like she wants to flee her own home. Yikes, what could be the matter? I look down at my flaccid penis and instantly understand. There was no act, no congress, nothing but a stupid boy on acid whose mind had him convinced of something that was not happening, period. OOPS. "Shrinkage"!!!

[Fred Steeves]

I was a parachute rigger for an S-3 squadron, stationed aboard the aircraft carrier USS America back in the mid 90's. I learned quickly, and was very good it, but was not so concerned with being a ship shape sailor in general. Can you imagine? (LOL) Well one thing the Navy is VERY concerned about, and for good reason, is having the flight deck clear of any and all debris, no matter how miniscule. Even a paperclip can be a hazzard.

Each day before flight operations began there would be an all hands on deck for all of the squadrons personnel to line up side by side, from port to starboard, and slowly walk from stern to bow, picking up anything and everything. We were also ceaselessly and sternly warned to completely empty all pockets of everything, before ever stepping foot on the flight deck.

I was always extremely mindful of planes turning and gunning up their engines whenever out on the flight deck during flying hours, especially the F-14's and such. They can poof you off the side of the boat in a flash. But, for some reason I never had much respect for the propeller planes that carried mail and people around. Well one afternoon there wasn't much going on up there, and being that I was also in a hurry, I didn't bother taking the time to empty my pockets. I also didn't bother to particularly avoid the backdraft of one of those propellered mail planes turning it's tail my direction for takeoff. I was almost to our plane near the edge of the deck anyway.

Just as I was ready to open the door, the mail plane gunned her propellers up full blast, and they sit this way for about 20-30 seconds before releasing the brake to take off. Suddenly it was like being in the middle of a category 3 hurricane, and if the wheel strut hadn't been right there for me to stumble backwards and grab on to for dear life, there's no telling where it would have taken me. That was an oh s**t moment, and also an OOPS!!!

Unfortunately that wasn't the only oops, there were two other things I immediately took notice of as I clung on. 1) Senior Chief #####, who was always on the lookout for an excuse to make my life miserable was watching. 2) The wind was blowing all the crap out of my pockets that I hadn't bothered to empty. Crumbled up packs of Marlboro, candy wrappers, napkins, all kinds of stuff, flying all over the place. Double and triple OOPS!!!

Soon as the plane took off, sure enough there was Senior Chief looking about ready to explode, and yelling to get over to him on the double. "Oh boy, here we go..." What actually happened though came as a shock. I'll never know whether he decided during my trot over that he suddenly felt sorry for me or something, but when I got up to him, imagining a fate worse than death, all he did was grumble: " Steeves, go find your s**t, finish your inspection, and then get the F**K off my flight deck!"

That was it, I couldn't believe it!!! That was also the last time I ever went out there with crap in my pockets too.:)

Cheers,
Fred

[Flash]

Another one:

I was in Mexico city, with some mexican friends, visiting the city and the friends. You know, Montreal is a cold and snowy city, therefore the air traps for the subway (the tube) are not on the floor but bits higher up on the entrances or beside. How did i ever knew that in warm countries the subway air traps were on the sidewalk.

So, I was walking with my friends, in a light, braless, little summer dress attached lightly at the shoulders, hanging by nothing else. As we were walking on the sidewalk, the subway underneath started and the air draft I was on inadvertently pushed so much air that I ended up basically naked, my dress up, in the middle of Mexico city, my friends laughing to tears while I am trying to bring the dress back down. OOPS

I want to remember it as imitating Marilyn Monroe, it is sexier.

[Fred Steeves]

As we were walking on the sidewalk, the subway underneath started and the air draft I was inadvertently on pushed so much air that I ended up basically naked, my dress up, in the middle of Mexico city,


I'd like to have seen that Flash.

Wait, that didn't come across right did it? :rolleyes:

Oopsy