Feeling Offended by Each Other

[another bob]

“Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it – what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.”

~Carlos Castaneda


Why are we so easily offended by others? When investigated, that particular form of our habitual reactivity appears to be at the root of most of our problems as humans interacting in this world, at this time, and perhaps it has chronically been so.

It took me a long time, and some hard knocks, before I came to realize that my own provisional experience (and the conditioned interpretations thereof) did not necessarily apply to others, and thus I had no real reason to be upset by differing views on reality. This sounds like it would be obvious, but it was quite a revelation to me, and I see that the misconception I was under is a common one among humans, and leads to a lot of unwarranted judgmentalism and conflict.

For example, someone has a vision of Jesus, and so they become convinced that Christianity is the only way, and all other religious approaches are inferior and less true. Meanwhile, another believes they have received a message from Allah, and concludes that Islam is the right path, and based on their conventional filters, that all others are infidels. That’s a simplistic example, of course, but serves to illustrate the principle.

Once we come to recognize that the world we have been conditioned and programmed to perceive as an objective, solid reality is in fact utterly subjective — a projection of mind — then we can begin to be more tolerant and accepting of others’ experiences and insights that might appear to contradict our own ( based on our own idiosyncratic interpretations on perception), and so attain to a more mature and authentic humility.

What we may begin to notice, within that humility, is that those who are grateful get more to be grateful for, whereas those who are quick to take offense, who complain and are never happy, get more to complain and never be happy about.

What we need most to remember is that love is all that truly matters – not our presumptive knowledge, our opinions and beliefs, our accomplishments, or our conditional biases. The only way we can make a genuine contribution to the human condition in this realm is by increasing unconditional love in our lives. If we are committed to raising the vibratory frequency in our relationships and environments, giving love unselfishly is the way, even when it appears that others might not notice or appreciate it.

What helps in actualizing this commitment is remaining open at the heart, refraining from judgments of others’ experiences and understandings, forgiving everybody everything forever, and recognizing that even the highest human wisdom is no more than a thin strand of hair blown about in the vast unknown.



Q12rL04NG2o

[music]

Wow, you really did ascend, another bob! And since our desire for praise is the cousin to our ease in taking offence, my "thanks" are for Kasey Chambers.

[ROMANWKT]

Firstly I am very happy to see you live and well, secondly that was one of the cheapest jibes that you pulled there and well below the belt, and thirdly I will say no more because I know I will regret it.

[ROMANWKT]

I will add this though

Judaism accomplished sh-t, Buddhism accomplished sh-t, Christianity accomplished sh-t and Islam accomplished sh-t for humanity, we are still scrapping the human barrel,self self self self.

[lookbeyond]

Firstly I am very happy to see you live and well, secondly that was one of the cheapest jibes that you pulled there and well below the belt, and thirdly I will say no more because I know I will regret it.

Hello self proclaimed "cranky old man", i was surely taken aback by another bobs clever post too, but then i thought i didnt really expect to make it this time anyway... so as for your next post

[lookbeyond]

I will add this though

Judaism accomplished sh-t, Buddhism accomplished sh-t, Christianity accomplished sh-t and Islam accomplished sh-t for humanity, we are still scrapping the human barrel,self self self self.


How about you continue on with your threads instead of leaving us up in the air, particularly as you take a while to get to the point! Unfair of you to just off and go when we hav been waiting for more info.
Just be patient, ok? as some of us might be slower to catch on than others. I came here to learn and share, so if u know something (and i know u do) cough up man!

lov lookbeyond

[161803398]

I think people are more inclined to feel offended in North America because they don't know each other. When you are in a society where people have known each other, at least, all their lives, you can say the most shocking or direct things and no one is offended. I grew up like that.

[Flash]

I will add this though

Judaism accomplished sh-t, Buddhism accomplished sh-t, Christianity accomplished sh-t and Islam accomplished sh-t for humanity, we are still scrapping the human barrel,self self self self.


How about you continue on with your threads instead of leaving us up in the air, particularly as you take a while to get to the point! Unfair of you to just off and go when we hav been waiting for more info.
Just be patient, ok? as some of us might be slower to catch on than others. I came here to learn and share, so if u know something (and i know u do) cough up man!

lov lookbeyond

Totally agree with lookbeyond, cough up on your own thread, we would like to understand a bit, I am truly confused, although I may have a slight shadowy start of light somehow, but still confused.

¤=[Post Update]=¤


I think people are more inclined to feel offended in North America because they don't know each other. When you are in a society where people have known each other, at least, all their lives, you can say the most shocking or direct things and no one is offended. I grew up like that.

Where in Canada multiple numbers? I can think of a few places like this, but surely not Montreal.

[ROMANWKT]

I will add this though

Judaism accomplished sh-t, Buddhism accomplished sh-t, Christianity accomplished sh-t and Islam accomplished sh-t for humanity, we are still scrapping the human barrel,self self self self.


roman
How about you continue on with your threads instead of leaving us up in the air, particularly as you take a while to get to the point! Unfair of you to just off and go when we hav been waiting for more info.
Just be patient, ok? as some of us might be slower to catch on than others. I came here to learn and share, so if u know something (and i know u do) cough up man!

lov lookbeyond

There was a problem to all at the time, I was waiting for the 2012 nonsense to pass and we had the shooting problem before that, there was to much going on, I had to wait, then the Bob BS, and here we are.

regards lookbeyond

roman

[Flash]

Your post is very nice Anolther Bob and mostly true if we think in philosophical terms and in ultimate targets or realities. However, when down to earth daily activities occurs, i may be difficult to remain up there.


Another Bob: What we may begin to notice, within that humility, is that those who are grateful get more to be grateful for, whereas those who are quick to take offense, who complain and are never happy, get more to complain and never be happy about.

What we need most to remember is that love is all that truly matters –

I am kind of mixed up with the first sentence above, although true, is there a hidden message in it (we are on a conspiracy forum do not forget lol). That what we need most to remember is love is entirely true. Yet, how do you transfer it in a direct manner.

There is surely someone here who does not feel loved by/though your posts here Another Bob, maybe this should be solved and resolved in pm. For sure, if we think of love, a hand has to be offererd here. Then we could discuss the feeling offended by each other. Imho of course, everyone is free.

[music]

There is no hidden message, just an exposition of a simple energetic concept. Be grateful and have one energy signature, or be cranky and have another. No one is better than the other, all is the same, but the choice is ours. We choose whichever reality we want - I have chosen love and gratitude and my world is happy and serene, with more to love and be grateful about every day.

Love is all that truly matters.

[truthseekerdan]

I will add this though

Judaism accomplished sh-t, Buddhism accomplished sh-t, Christianity accomplished sh-t and Islam accomplished sh-t for humanity, we are still scrapping the human barrel,self self self self.

Beloved Roman,

All religions are pieces of the puzzle or pie that we call truth, or nonsense.
No offense -- I do love you man. :)

[modwiz]

As one of the Elders (50+ years old) on this forum, I wish to weigh in. The concept of Elder has lost much of its value. If we do not find a way to agree to disagree, especially in private communication, so that we are available as both a real asset and a symbolic one, then the concept of Elder in modern society is an antiquated one well consigned to the dust bin of revered tradition.

Elder is a timeless concept that transcends any and all religious/philosophical beliefs. To my Elder peers, I appeal for some public decorum. This is not about being phony. It is about not farting at the dinner table.

[DeDukshyn]

When we feel offended by others, it is strictly the Ego we are trying to protect and defend. There is no scale to this. It just is.

[Ba-ba-Ra]

I think the reactions here are a very good example of how we are all in a different place and looking out from different perspectives.

ROMANWTI, I don't understand your reaction to this post, however, I respect your right to have it. Although I wish you could have said it in a gentler, more respectful way - although I realize that is judgment on my part.

ANOTHER BOB: I agree with what you are saying and will add: It is just as wrong to take offense as give offense. Until we are at a place where we can do this, we will continue to weave the drama of 3D and bring much pain and suffering into our lives. ...But I suppose, a soul can only be where it is and where it is ready to be.

[Flash]

This place is cryptic. Modwiz, as an elder elder, what for god sake did you mean?

PS: I always thought you had subscribed before me, were you there in the other prior forum? If not, I am your elder.... :p, quite a surprise.

¤=[Post Update]=¤


There is no hidden message, just an exposition of a simple energetic concept. Be grateful and have one energy signature, or be cranky and have another. No one is better than the other, all is the same, but the choice is ours. We choose whichever reality we want - I have chosen love and gratitude and my world is happy and serene, with more to love and be grateful about every day.

Love is all that truly matters.

Thanks for your comment, I have a tendency to think the same, however it would be neat to hear from the orignial author as well.

[truthseekerdan]

Found this article that might be of help to this thread. :nod:

"Are you “too big to take offense”? Or are you easily offended? Do you have thick skin? Or is yours paper-thin? Are you calm and subdued? Or do you easily explode into fits of anger? Do you take things the wrong way? Do you know the “real” motive behind what people say and do and mean, despite their protests to the contrary? Do others believe they have to “walk on eggshells” around you?

If so, your hypersensitivity is robbing you of happiness.

I know it’s much easier for me to tell you to stop taking things so personally, than it is to actually stop taking things so personally. Still, there are ways to thicken your skin and enjoy more joy."

10 Ways of Becoming “too Big to Take Offense”


Talk Yourself out of Being Offended


It can be just that simple. In the heat of the moment, try asking yourself these questions: “What am I getting so bent out of shape for? Does this really matter? What’s the big deal?” Reason with yourself: “Did he really mean it the way I was just about to take it? Is he truly actually trying to hurt me? Well, then, what is he really trying to say?”


Tell yourself the person who is the potential offender has as much right to his opinion as you do to yours. Besides, they’re only words. What can words do? They certainly can’t break my bones!


Remember, the reason we usually feel offended is because of the meaning we attach to what is said or done: “That means he really doesn’t care!” “She’s saying I am no good!” “I knew he didn’t really love me!” “She wouldn’t say that if she was …” And so the internal interpretation goes.


So simply reframe it. Talk yourself out of the offense by telling yourself: “This person is simply expressing his opinion, and listen to how interesting it is! I find it so fascinating that someone can have such opinions that are almost the exact opposite of mine!”


You will be happier as you learn to talk yourself out of offense and internalize the sticks-and-stones-may-break-my-bones-but-words-will-never-hurt-me philosophy of communication.


Read more here (http://meanttobehappy.com/10-ways-you-too-can-stop-being-so-easily-offended/)

[Fred Steeves]

There is no hidden message, just an exposition of a simple energetic concept. Be grateful and have one energy signature, or be cranky and have another. No one is better than the other, all is the same, but the choice is ours. We choose whichever reality we want - I have chosen love and gratitude and my world is happy and serene, with more to love and be grateful about every day.

Love is all that truly matters.

Thanks for your comment, I have a tendency to think the same, however it would be neat to hear from the orignial author as well.

I do tend to agree with you there Flash. Bob, I'm glad you are back, and would like to be friends again. But are you just going to do hit and run glorified one post threads, or actually engage in conversation with us 3-D peasants?

Cheers,
Fred

[ROMANWKT]

I see we are going of track concerning what you all think I reacted to.

He did not offend me, he offended the intelligence of the people there in the original post,they were talking to a dead man who apparently reached the 5th dimension, and I also got lectured about how it was possible for a person in this dimension to contact and write on the keyboards, its got nothing to do with me personally, it had to do with another piss take as all religions are, and taking to total piss of human frailty to believe in something greater than themselves, our out and out gullibility.

This is a truth seeker site, we should all seek our potential in ourselves and others.

Bob does not, and I repeat, does not upset me, I was upset by our gullibility.

regards

roman

[Tesla_WTC_Solution]

thank you, bob!

i really let people hurt me, i.e. get to me.
not really offend me so much as little shocks me just hurts.
KEK

[Flash]

There is no hidden message, just an exposition of a simple energetic concept. Be grateful and have one energy signature, or be cranky and have another. No one is better than the other, all is the same, but the choice is ours. We choose whichever reality we want - I have chosen love and gratitude and my world is happy and serene, with more to love and be grateful about every day.

Love is all that truly matters.

Thanks for your comment, I have a tendency to think the same, however it would be neat to hear from the orignial author as well.

I do tend to agree with you there Flash. Bob, I'm glad you are back, and would like to be friends again. But are you just going to do hit and run glorified one post threads, or actually engage in conversation with us 3-D peasants?

Cheers,
Fred

Give him a chance, Fred, he is actually having and partying in a Budhist Christmas :cool:, he will come back.

[markpierre]

“Self-importance is our greatest enemy.

What we need most to remember is that love is all that truly matters



And it's funny, that the principle continues underacknowledged. That the simplest, quickest, deepest, most far reaching tool of human transformation, STILL,
is simple human kindness.

Thanks for the Kasey and Shane Bob. Them's local folks here'bouts.

[Carmen]

I don't really understand what all the fuss is about and I don't really care to know! I like what Bob posted as its been my lesson for quite a while. Not to take things personally, to rise above the drama and just observe. Too often we are completely wrong in our assumptions (well I am anyway!). I like the challenge of wording posts so as not to affect egos. That is an art in itself! Because when egos come charging in all opportunity for learning has kind of gone. It's also helpful to test ourselves at times to if anything does dump us into emotional duality. It's all "grist for the mill".

One thing I will comment on though is "freedom of choice"! Everyone is free, but also should feel free to pursue whatever they wish to in there quest for understanding, enlightenment, progress, spiritual development. Whether it be channelled material, Buddhism, Christianity, science, ufos, quantum physics, conspiracies, whatever. What we, in our 'oh so humble opinion' might think of someone else's journey or method of advancement is, is none of our business. Tolerance and allowance is a necessary prerequisite, "in my humble opinion" (hehe) on a forum such as this, that explores the weird and wonderful.

[Wind]

"When you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama."

~Eckhart Tolle

nmUiQHti9VE

[Arrowwind]

[I].

What we need most to remember is that love is all that truly matters – not our presumptive knowledge, our opinions and beliefs, our accomplishments, or our conditional biases. The only way we can make a genuine contribution to the human condition in this realm is by increasing unconditional love in our lives. If we are committed to raising the vibratory frequency in our relationships and environments, giving love unselfishly is the way, even when it appears that others might not notice or appreciate it.


Love is not the only way to contribute to improving the human condition. Raising the frequency of our vibrations is only an aspect of the work that needs to be done, even if it is an important aspect. Hardcore hands on work of service whether backed by pure vibrations of love or not is essential to many people.

I am reminded of all the farmers across the world who produce food for others, not all necessarily out of love but out of an understanding of the need to fulfill needs.

Many major religions have long realized that even more important than "converting" someone is to fill their bellies and keep them warm and alleviate the suffering that keeps people so preoccupied that they cannot contemplate the higher wisdoms and awakenings. You can love a child to death if the child is not fed.

An example - Millions contribute to this work of feeding humanity as best they can across the world. Their vibrancy may not and probably isn't up to the high expectations of many on this forum, they dont meditate, they barely pray, they might snarl at their wives and drink a little too much, but their interlinked presence in the world, their path, their work, their presence in the big scheme of things is essential.

[rgray222]

Why are we so easily offended by others? When investigated, that particular form of our habitual reactivity appears to be at the root of most of our problems as humans interacting in this world, at this time, and perhaps it has chronically been so.

It took me a long time, and some hard knocks, before I came to realize that my own provisional experience (and the conditioned interpretations thereof) did not necessarily apply to others, and thus I had no real reason to be upset by differing views on reality. This sounds like it would be obvious, but it was quite a revelation to me, and I see that the misconception I was under is a common one among humans, and leads to a lot of unwarranted judgmentalism and conflict.

Bob
I enjoyed your post, I believe you are exactly right, your own experience or reality applies to you, others may disagree with your views but there is no reason for anyone to get upset about your views no matter how outlandish one may think they are. You have said "love it what truly matters", I believe that to be one of the core truths for all humans, unfortunately some people have not reached this conclusion and drift through life aimlessly without staking a firm claim in any beliefs whatsoever.

I think another core truth is one must think and put thought behind their words and actions. You can do things for love, fun or even profit but if you have not given thought to as to how your words and actions will affect others it often turns out in a way that is not what you expected. Occasionally you will do something by accident and it turns our great, that is simply the universe putting some balance back into your life. It is an exception and not a rule.

I do think that there is a huge difference between a hotly debated subject and a personal attack on a subject. On a forum, at home or in a work environment there is nothing more satisfying that people challenging each other, hotly contesting their viewpoints, trying to get you to come around to their way of thinking as long as it is never taken personally. When someone attacks religion, any religion that will usually set off fireworks and there is no need for the attack except to show ones own insecurity in their faith or lack of faith. When one attacks politics, any political party that will also set off fireworks. There is simply a huge difference in telling people why you think all atheists, Catholics, democrats, or guns are the reason for many of the things wrong with the world. But to make a statement, "all atheist are horrible people and are causing damage to the world" does nothing to further the discussion, it only derails a discussion out of one persons anger. If everyone were singing out of the same hymnbook, in the same note life would be unbearably boring and so would this forum.

[modwiz]

This place is cryptic. Modwiz, as an elder elder, what for god sake did you mean?

PS: I always thought you had subscribed before me, were you there in the other prior forum? If not, I am your elder.... :p, quite a surprise.

¤=[Post Update]=¤


There is no hidden message, just an exposition of a simple energetic concept. Be grateful and have one energy signature, or be cranky and have another. No one is better than the other, all is the same, but the choice is ours. We choose whichever reality we want - I have chosen love and gratitude and my world is happy and serene, with more to love and be grateful about every day.

Love is all that truly matters.

Thanks for your comment, I have a tendency to think the same, however it would be neat to hear from the orignial author as well.

I was referring to be past the half century mark in years lived. Real years in a real world. Not years in a cyber world.

[Flash]

This place is cryptic. Modwiz, as an elder elder, what for god sake did you mean?

PS: I always thought you had subscribed before me, were you there in the other prior forum? If not, I am your elder.... :p, quite a surprise.

¤=[Post Update]=¤


There is no hidden message, just an exposition of a simple energetic concept. Be grateful and have one energy signature, or be cranky and have another. No one is better than the other, all is the same, but the choice is ours. We choose whichever reality we want - I have chosen love and gratitude and my world is happy and serene, with more to love and be grateful about every day.

Love is all that truly matters.

Thanks for your comment, I have a tendency to think the same, however it would be neat to hear from the orignial author as well.

I was referring to be past the half century mark in years lived. Real years in a real world. Not years in a cyber world.

oh, it make me look a bit stupid isn'it? I never thought of you as my elder...

However, I will let the forum remain on their thinking about my own elder or non elder status - avatars may be misleading.

[modwiz]

This place is cryptic. Modwiz, as an elder elder, what for god sake did you mean?

PS: I always thought you had subscribed before me, were you there in the other prior forum? If not, I am your elder.... :p, quite a surprise.

¤=[Post Update]=¤


There is no hidden message, just an exposition of a simple energetic concept. Be grateful and have one energy signature, or be cranky and have another. No one is better than the other, all is the same, but the choice is ours. We choose whichever reality we want - I have chosen love and gratitude and my world is happy and serene, with more to love and be grateful about every day.

Love is all that truly matters.

Thanks for your comment, I have a tendency to think the same, however it would be neat to hear from the orignial author as well.

I was referring to be past the half century mark in years lived. Real years in a real world. Not years in a cyber world.

oh, it make me look a bit stupid isn'it? I never thought of you as my elder...

However, I will let the forum remain on their thinking about my own elder or non elder status - avatars may be misleading.

I speak of a concept of Elders and pick the half century mark as a sort of point of definition. It is one that has been used before. So, once one enters this realm, a certain responsibility is foisted upon one, IMO. Of course, one can eschew such a designation. I feel such abdication is a loss to whatever community is served as well as the preserving of what I view as an important tradition.

Your issues around your age are for you to look at. I see aging well as a way of comforting those who are picking up a few years in this youth worshiping culture of ours. My Coyote/heyokah/ ways are often misinterpreted, even by me, LOL. Like a mad scientist, sometimes things blow up in your face. I own it and move on. Integrity of character is important. Especially to the person in the mirror.

[mosquito]

Too much silliness and nonsense has gone on here over the last few days, and I feel disinclined to say much ecept .....

Modwiz - You've hit the nail squarely on the head in the above posts.

ROMANWKT - Glad to see that your voluntary retirement has, once again been rescinded !

AnotherBob - Thank you for a wonderfully clear, perceptive post and also for a very funny one ... !

[noxon medem]

..
-



I will add this though

Judaism accomplished sh-t, Buddhism accomplished sh-t, Christianity accomplished sh-t and Islam accomplished sh-t for humanity, we are still scrapping the human barrel,self self self self.

Beloved Roman,

All religions are pieces of the puzzle or pie that we call truth, or nonsense.
No offense -- I do love you man. :)

Maybe this can illustrate, somehow :

19763

Perhaps (then)
Some puzzles need more time
study and patiently sorting ,
- than some others ...

..
-

PS.
My grandfathers reaction to the
latest drama on Avalon Forum :

nothing new under the sun
( a man of few words, but much ecperience ..).
BS.

:- )

[markpierre]

I speak of a concept of Elders and pick the half century mark as a sort of point of definition. It is one that has been used before. So, once one enters this realm, a certain responsibility is foisted upon one, IMO. Of course, one can eschew such a designation. I feel such abdication is a loss to whatever community is served as well as the preserving of what I view as an important tradition.

Your issues around your age are for you to look at. I see aging well as a way of comforting those who are picking up a few years in this youth worshiping culture of ours. My Coyote/heyokah/ ways are often misinterpreted, even by me, LOL. Like a mad scientist, sometimes things blow up in your face. I own it and move on. Integrity of character is important. Especially to the person in the mirror.

That's a bit of fun. The fun part is knowing that no one is exempt from aging. So if aging is an enemy to some and a friend to others, it doesn't much matter.
But there was a moment where it occurred to me that there is such a thing as human adulthood, and it isn't what I'd imagined.
We seem to jump from adolescence directly into a sense of responsibility somehow, sometime.
It may just be when the stink of our own disintegrity becomes unbearable. These auspicious days are good for enhansing the stench.
But for me it was more like rather than drawing a circle and determining to stand in it until 'whatever', a circle surrounded me.
And getting serious about awakening was the only possible escape. Growing up.

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see in a mirror dimly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

I can't 'know' myself without it.

[Belle]

I will speak for myself only...no one else...just me...take it or leave it...

I have come to learn that what I take offense to from/in/by others is really something within me that I refuse to face...what I react to becomes a mirror to my inner world. Ego/body tries to turn it back on the 'offender'...that's what it does.

When I am offended by someone or something, I ask 'what is it within me that is reacting'. It can be difficult to root out the shadow...our ego/bodies scream 'it is them and not me...don't look at me!' Ignoring the ego/body, I dig deeper...as deep as is necessary to find out what the ego is trying to protect.

Once it is found and recognized, I examine it from every perspective as I am able (sometimes its very hard to accept the not-so-nice, less than perfect 'me' I find there)...and, surprise! brought to the light of day, it can no longer exist...it has lost it's power over me.

Little by little, by clearing myself, my perspective on others and the world changes. No longer is the ego/body in control...I AM.

For me, it is difficult but very necessary to clear out the 'garbage'...with each clearing, a new level of awareness is reached....a growing from knowledge to wisdom.

Peace within and without...

I'd love to consider myself a wise elder...I am over 50...but then out comes that younger version of myself, kicking up her heels and having way too much fun to be considered either wise or elder, twirling with arms opened wide to the joy all around.

[Rocky_Shorz]

so How is everyone enjoying this full moon?

I agree with Bob, the grumpy old man and two kids are the majority of the problems in this world...

you forgot to mention the ones who feel all Gentiles are slaves, and shouldn't have a say in anything they decide...

you know the ancient grumpy old man that knows everything and kids have no right to argue...

well that is the religion the other 2 were started from

of course there are always going to be problems...

as for rising above it, I think none of us are going anywhere until this world comes together

rather ironic the religions promising a peaceful world are the reason it isn't.

well, time to let grandma step in, she's taken care of the grumpy old man and kids forever...

let's hear what she has to say...

what's that?

she says she wants the family to come together or she's leaving...

[another bob]

Thank you everybody for your comments!

One thing we can observe is, the more invested we get in that seductive spider's web woven from strands of wry self-importance and fixed beliefs, the more seriously we tends to take ourselves, and in turn the more annoyed we will become at whatever is perceived (correctly or incorrectly) to challenge our staked-out positions.

The first casualty of that entrenched attitude, alas, is the sense of humor. Then come the mounting accusations, as a contentious line is drawn between “us” and “them” – those creations of our own minds arbitrarily designated as “perpetrators” (be it due to religion, political creed, ethnicity, gender, or cultural heritage). In doing so, of course, one necessarily assumes the complementary role of “victim” in the circular game of blame. The final step is typically war.




ur5fGSBsfq8

[music]

mariposafe: good work, thank you.
modwiz: I acknowledge elder status, but age alone does not confer it. You are generally wise enough to qualify though, in my opinion.
fred: I love your posts, it is a pleasure to breath air so free of bullsh1t
bob: while it is not our choice as to whether or not another takes offence, it is good to remember we are all at different stages in our journey, and it is the responsibility of an advanced soul to frame words so they offend less, and assist growth more. * unless one invokes the trickster so as to confound in order to enlighten, but this is a very tricky road - on more than one occasion I have stepped in my own BS while traversing it in the past.
arrowwind: we all have the chance to serve in some small way, thank you for your reminder.
markpierre: yet Jesus says we must be as little children? I think we undervalue children and their ways too much already, and your quoted material, to me, is old paradigm. But of course the comment is about the material, and not you :)

[markpierre]

markpierre: yet Jesus says we must be as little children? I think we undervalue children and their ways too much already, and your quoted material, to me, is old paradigm. But of course the comment is about the material, and not you :)

I don't agree and yet I do. But you've interpreted from the paradigm you just dismissed, in order to overlook the allegory. Corinthians was purportedly written by Paul,
and if it was Paul who wrote what was attributed to him, I'm not a big fan. A sexist dickhead who reinterpreted Jesus' message. I understand. It was also a different time and custom,
and the guys who were there understood what he meant.

Maybe if I put it this way. I went to a Christmas 'orphans' lunch yesterday anticipating a quiet afternoon with some really sweet people. Which was usurped by a few who started with beer,
and then whiskey, and then mushrooms, then more whiskey, then acid, then more beer, more whiskey, and more beer, and then more beer. All very loudly, and In someone else's home.
It was only next door, and so my escape was only partial and energetically continues. I have no judgement about what they do, it sounds like any Fri-Saturday evening in any city.
But were they 'as little children'? Or simply childish? If I say childish, does that dismiss children?

The new paradigm is very much about responsibility. Responsibility and vigorous honesty. Jesus never let anyone off the hook for that one.
It's unwarranted guilt and the burden of shame of forgetting who we are that knocked the 'child' out of us. Made us childish.
I've never felt so 'silly' and accepting in my life which is great. But I also feel very grown up as well. You can feel this because you are this; Trustworthy. No BS passes this threshold
in either direction.
It's not so obvious what that is when it's missing. When it's not missing, it's astounding.

[music]

Well put markpierre. Is it a fine line between childish and childlike? Or is it a world? You will have noticed just how aware and "grown up" many children are these days. Truly magical children who are here to show us our true state. A state of pure wonder, and a state of pure higher love, or true love, or just love. We are to be as little children because we are to be connected with who we were when we arrived here, which is when we were closest to who we truly are. "Knocking the 'child' out of us" you say, yes, exactly. And again I agree, we are responsible for allowing this. But we realise this sh1t now. I see that as I access more and more of the child in me, and the more I heal the hurts there, and process the things we have labelled "dark" there, I see the closer and closer I come to my true nature.

[Anchor]

My interpretation of what Jesus was meaning was to be without the layers of programming that come as the children have to "be like the adults" and conform.

A child can love with much less distortion than say a politically correct grown-up.

[markpierre]

Simply innocent. Not a fine line at all. One is it, the other is imagining it and trying to reason it out. And failing. It fails entirely eventually and that's the doorway. Yes, the world as well.

By responsible I mean 'for now', for 'what next'. Not liable for the past.
I'd give that job to one of those children.

[Fred Steeves]

I went to a Christmas 'orphans' lunch yesterday anticipating a quiet afternoon with some really sweet people. Which was usurped by a few who started with beer,
and then whiskey, and then mushrooms, then more whiskey, then acid, then more beer, more whiskey, and more beer, and then more beer. All very loudly, and In someone else's home.


Wow Mark, all that in honor of a lunch? What do they do for a supper?

[Billy]

I will add this though

Judaism accomplished sh-t, Buddhism accomplished sh-t, Christianity accomplished sh-t and Islam accomplished sh-t for humanity, we are still scrapping the human barrel,self self self self.


Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion **** List

Taoism: **** happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "**** happens."
Buddhism: If **** happens, it isn't really ****.
Zen Buddhism: **** is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of **** happening?
Hinduism: This **** has happened before.
Islam: If **** happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If **** happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If **** happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If **** happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let **** happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This **** was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: **** that happens to one person is just as good as **** that happens to another.
Unitarian: **** that happens to one person is just as bad as **** that happens to another.
Lutheran: If **** happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If **** happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If **** happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: **** must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this **** always happen to us?
Calvinism: **** happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No **** shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all ****.
Secular Humanism: **** evolves.
Christian Science: When **** happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: **** happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this ****.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this ****.
Utopianism: This **** does not stink.
Darwinism: This **** was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY ****.
Communism: It's everybody's ****.
Feminism: Men are ****.
Chauvinism: We may be ****, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this ****.
Impressionism: From a distance, **** looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this ****.
Existentialism: **** doesn't happen; **** IS.
Existentialism #2: What is ****, anyway?
Stoicism: This **** is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good **** happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this ****.
Mormonism #2: This **** is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let **** happen.
Scientology: If **** happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< **** happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our ****?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: **** has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy **** happens.
Hare Krishna: **** happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****!
Zoroastrianism: **** happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB ****s.
Practical: Deal with **** one day at a time.
Agnostic: **** might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone ****?
Agnostic #3: What is this ****?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What ****?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this ****!
Nihilism: No ****.
Narcisism: I am the ****!

And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: **** happens-one day at a time!

:laugh:

[Tesla_WTC_Solution]

oh my god.

wiping tears from my eyes laughing at that list above.

seriously how come i have not seen that version before now?

clearly i am not a gutter jedi yet. :D bwahahaha!

[spiritwind]

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion **** List

Taoism: **** happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "**** happens."
Buddhism: If **** happens, it isn't really ****.
Zen Buddhism: **** is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of **** happening?
Hinduism: This **** has happened before.
Islam: If **** happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If **** happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If **** happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If **** happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let **** happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This **** was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: **** that happens to one person is just as good as **** that happens to another.
Unitarian: **** that happens to one person is just as bad as **** that happens to another.
Lutheran: If **** happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If **** happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If **** happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: **** must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this **** always happen to us?
Calvinism: **** happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No **** shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all ****.
Secular Humanism: **** evolves.
Christian Science: When **** happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: **** happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this ****.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this ****.
Utopianism: This **** does not stink.
Darwinism: This **** was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY ****.
Communism: It's everybody's ****.
Feminism: Men are ****.
Chauvinism: We may be ****, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this ****.
Impressionism: From a distance, **** looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this ****.
Existentialism: **** doesn't happen; **** IS.
Existentialism #2: What is ****, anyway?
Stoicism: This **** is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good **** happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this ****.
Mormonism #2: This **** is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let **** happen.
Scientology: If **** happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< **** happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our ****?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: **** has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy **** happens.
Hare Krishna: **** happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****!
Zoroastrianism: **** happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB ****s.
Practical: Deal with **** one day at a time.
Agnostic: **** might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone ****?
Agnostic #3: What is this ****?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What ****?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this ****!
Nihilism: No ****.
Narcisism: I am the ****!

And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: **** happens-one day at a time!

:laugh:

I see you haven't lost your sense of humor. So important in these times. From my perspective sometimes you just can't help offending some people no matter how hard you try and sometimes you have to say something to someone that there is just no easy way to say it. But, I have found it's a good idea to reflect and get my emotions under control so that when I do have to say something difficult it comes from the heart and tends to produce the best results. So yeah, **** happens. And it has helped me to learn to just let go of **** and move on. Sometimes it's not easy to do and sometimes it's more work than others, but to me it takes more out of a person to hold on to all that **** than to just let it go. By the way, I grew up as a JW so got quite a laugh out of that list.

[Arpheus]

Lol that list rocks good work there mate!!

[Billy]

I see you haven't lost your sense of humor. So important in these times. From my perspective sometimes you just can't help offending some people no matter how hard you try and sometimes you have to say something to someone that there is just no easy way to say it. But, I have found it's a good idea to reflect and get my emotions under control so that when I do have to say something difficult it comes from the heart and tends to produce the best results. So yeah, **** happens. And it has helped me to learn to just let go of **** and move on. Sometimes it's not easy to do and sometimes it's more work than others, but to me it takes more out of a person to hold on to all that **** than to just let it go. By the way, I grew up as a JW so got quite a laugh out of that list.

Yes keep smiling. I do believe the Creator has a sense of humour. Must have because We were created.

My favorite which i believe is very true. "Out of S**t Grows roses.

To me means. Embrace the negative experiences with love, Allow it to go through you. Feel the sadness, the anger, Feel the rejection.

Then let it go with love and thanks back to the universe. Learning the lessons.

you have just transformed darkness into light. A beautiful flower has grown out of S**T.

peace

[Akasha]

Here's Steve Hughes perspective:

http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=29555 (http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=29555)

[Strat]

Great post bob!

I think the Elder thing is mostly obsolete because there are about as many predators (and plain assholes) as there are advisers. I've learned to respect elders, even the ones who are disrespectful to me. After all I've gone through lately (in a good way; diet, meditation every day, biofeedback training, martial arts, exercise, etc) I just don't get angry like I used to. So it's easy for me to extract wisdom even from my friends neighbor, who is an angry 55 year old alcoholic.

Mastering one's ego is something everyone can work on, even online. If you're reading this, there is a chance that at some point on the forums you became upset. This may/will happen again in the future, but when it does remember to STOP and do not post till you've relaxed completely. Never post when you're overly emotional. If you get to the point where you are relaxed, you may not even want to reply, and if you do it'll be an articulate and intelligent response.

It's funny to me that in our culture crying is a form of weakness and anger is one of strength. They're both the same in my eyes, just emotions (reptilian brain) controlling you.

[petra]

Great post bob!
Mastering one's ego is something everyone can work on, even online. If you're reading this, there is a chance that at some point on the forums you became upset. This may/will happen again in the future, but when it does remember to STOP and do not post till you've relaxed completely. Never post when you're overly emotional. If you get to the point where you are relaxed, you may not even want to reply, and if you do it'll be an articulate and intelligent response.

It's funny to me that in our culture crying is a form of weakness and anger is one of strength. They're both the same in my eyes, just emotions (reptilian brain) controlling you.

Hi Strat, fancy meeting you here.... !

YES! Those feelings always pass, you are absolutely right. I call it "Waiting for the stupid to go away", because if I don't wait - chances are I will end up saying something stupid which I'll regret later. It's just impossible to think properly when upset, and depending how upset a person may be, maybe not possible to think at all!

I've been sitting around past few days trying to think of things that offend me. And it's hard. So far I have 2 1/2 lol

If I don't get offended about something which people think I should be offended by, is that offensive? :confused:

[Frenchy]

Mon Dieu, Petra ! ,
This thread, SIX years old, and you manage to revive it ! Great !,

If you hadn't, I'd not have seen a name I can now get in touch with !

Thanks !

[Mike]

The most amusing part is when the "offended" party demands an apology.

The psychology behind this is fascinating.

Firstly, to admit you're offended by anything merits a hanging by the ankles and a large crowd pelting you with small hard jelly beans for a good 15 mins.

That's psychology 101: you never admit to being bothered by someone attempting to get under your skin. Come on, most of us have had brothers and sisters.....all this does is encourage them. You just sit there and smile inscrutably, never uttering a word. In 10 minutes you will have driven them mad. Problem solved. That's one approach.

Weakness encourages attack. To confess to being offended, and then following it up by demanding an apology is akin to a soldier emerging from hiding to admit to approaching enemy troops that he has no weapons to fight them off, and oh, by the way, the rest of my guys are over there, 20 yards to the left of that hill. But please, take it easy on us..

I just can't fathom how it has become socially acceptable and even encouraged to cop to being so utterly pathetic, so much so that you require the offending party to apologize for bringing it to your attention.

The problem is that "being offended" has become a right in some people's eyes, one that trumps not even your right to freedom of speech, but your ability to think. It's intellectually paralyzing having to navigate everyone's PC sensibilities these days; it's energy draining and a massive impediment to free flowing thought. In this way, it can be said that it dumbs down the population and makes authentic communication nearly impossible.

If you're forced to think and express yourself a certain way for a long enough period of time, you become a character...some windy politician always hinting at things obliquely but never quite saying them. This is a valuable skill, even encouraged in corporate and gov environments. People get paid good money not to offend; in other words, people get paid good money to be dishonest.

In a way we've all become characters, ones who are adept at conjuring bullsh!t to not offend a programmed meme designed to keep us all intellectually off-balance. For a while we're all aware we're doing this, but over time it becomes so second nature that we stop becoming aware of it, and it becomes something like a computer program running in our minds, dictating to what has slowly become a robot almost

[Pam]

I have been regularly meditating and became very aware of repeated "tapes" of alleged wrongs that have been committed against me. I began to notice that these repeated stories have one theme that I like to call "righteous indignation". Scenarios where in my mind, I did or said the right thing with good intentions and others rejected , opposed or didn't see or acknowledge my behavior which was done for the higher good. I began to observe that if I cleared one of them from my thoughts another would pop up.. I began to notice the amount of time I spent in my head having these thoughts repeat themselves. Once I saw the nature of this they became sort of torturous. They had nothing to do with my present reality yet they kept playing at random times, sometimes creating a mild agitation and popping up as a distraction in meditation.

Once I began to look at why they have so much power I realized that really they are nothing more than me wanting to be right. That's about it in a nutshell. These thoughts are all dressed up in fancy story lines that allow me to feel righteous indignation and really they are me wanting to be right and consequently make someone else wrong in a situation that was subjective to begin with.

It's interesting to note that once I saw the simple nature of this lifelong habit, they don't have as much power behind them. They still pop up because they are so entrained in my head but I can dismiss them and rarely do I emotionally grasp them and buy into them on a emotional level. It is really freeing and a bit embarrassing to actually see how much of my life I have indulged this theme. I gladly let it go..

The whole concept of demanding or expecting a specific outcome to anything is futility. If I can do the best at a given task and let go of the need to expect specific outcomes I am much more peaceful.

[petra]

The most amusing part is when the "offended" party demands an apology.

The psychology behind this is fascinating.

Fun times, Mike... fun times. :)


Mon Dieu, Petra ! ,
This thread, SIX years old, and you manage to revive it ! Great !,


Muahahaha.... ! I love digging up old postings, saves me starting a new topic too. The search feature is pretty great once you get used to the nuances.

About a month ago Tintin posted a message to Avalon members and guests, and I missed it until now! The post is locked so it can't be bumped, so here's a snip and a link below. This is just great.



...
It behooves you as individual sentient intelligent and sensitive souls to conduct yourselves with each other - always - with the greatest respect even if you don't always agree.

It's HOW you do this that matters, hugely.

I would personally ask any of you to sometimes in more agitated moments – we’ve all had those - just to take a breath, THINK, reassess and self moderate nearly all the time. If you can't, or won't, or simply refuse to do that, then maybe this isn't the right home for you.


[Link to view Tintin's full posting] (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?104723-Personal-message-to-Members-and-Guests-from-Tintin&p=1255111&viewfull=1#post1255111)

[Pam]

Petra, I love the concept of pulling out old threads and reanimating them! This one really is pertinent to the times, even more than in 2012.

[Tintin]

About a month ago Tintin posted a message to Avalon members and guests, and I missed it until now! The post is locked so it can't be bumped, so here's a snip and a link below. This is just great.



...
It behooves you as individual sentient intelligent and sensitive souls to conduct yourselves with each other - always - with the greatest respect even if you don't always agree.

It's HOW you do this that matters, hugely.

I would personally ask any of you to sometimes in more agitated moments – we’ve all had those - just to take a breath, THINK, reassess and self moderate nearly all the time. If you can't, or won't, or simply refuse to do that, then maybe this isn't the right home for you.


[Link to view Tintin's full posting] (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?104723-Personal-message-to-Members-and-Guests-from-Tintin&p=1255111&viewfull=1#post1255111)

Thank you very much Petra :flower:

And of course we couldn't do ANY of this without the love and support of ALL the members (and that includes you!)

[petra]

I went back to the OP today, and that's just classic. It's a shame the OP has left!

I find it especially interesting what Strat said about mastering one's ego too, and I'm trying to apply the "ego factor" when thinking of things which I find offensive. I had 2 1/2 things but I forgot to include something I told to Strat personally, so that makes 3 1/2 so far. Additionally I tried to think of how I felt about other's views. Do I feel that they should find it offensive as well? And if they don't, does their lack of offense offend me? And lastly, I had to learn to differentiate between what I think is gross with what I think is offensive. All in all, I'm finding this a pretty good exercise.

1) People yelling at each other

Yelling always offends me. If I can't escape or leave the room, I feel like I want to poke my fingers into my ears and hum like a little child would. I feel like everyone should be offended by this, but I don't find it offensive if they don't.

2) Bestia---ity

I don't even want to write it, that's how mad I get. I left out an L. If someone else doesn't find that offensive - I'm kind of offended! Lucky for me, there aren't any people on PA who want to talk about this, because depending on what they say, I might want to kill them

3) People who act like they're "God"

This probably offends me because I'm Christian, and I think this one is probably related to ego. It certainly doesn't offend me if other people "like" this trait - I just personally don't like arrogant people.

3 1/2) Girls wearing too much make up. This one only gets 1/2, this is entirely my ego. Fake eyelashes really make me mad lol

Rape and pedophilia I almost included, but those technically are not offending me. It's more stomach turning and gross than offensive. However if someone were to brag about such, then I think I'd be offended.

Yesterday Youtube recommended me up a relevant video too. I realize my iPhone can't hear my thoughts (yet!) but sometimes it seems like it does! The video was titled "Youtube stars who ruined their career with a single video", and I thought "Well gee, some of this has to be offensive!". It wasn't really that offensive though, mostly what was offensive is the fact that people are video-taping awful stuff and then uploading it to Youtube.

[DeDukshyn]

Here's Steve Hughes perspective:

http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=29555 (http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=29555)

Link seems dead but I have to re-animate this post. This Steve Hughes clip is the best:

ceS_jkKjIgo

[Pam]

I went back to the OP today, and that's just classic. It's a shame the OP has left!

I find it especially interesting what Strat said about mastering one's ego too, and I'm trying to apply the "ego factor" when thinking of things which I find offensive. I had 2 1/2 things but I forgot to include something I told to Strat personally, so that makes 3 1/2 so far. Additionally I tried to think of how I felt about other's views. Do I feel that they should find it offensive as well? And if they don't, does their lack of offense offend me? And lastly, I had to learn to differentiate between what I think is gross with what I think is offensive. All in all, I'm finding this a pretty good exercise.

1) People yelling at each other

Yelling always offends me. If I can't escape or leave the room, I feel like I want to poke my fingers into my ears and hum like a little child would. I feel like everyone should be offended by this, but I don't find it offensive if they don't.

2) Bestia---ity

I don't even want to write it, that's how mad I get. I left out an L. If someone else doesn't find that offensive - I'm kind of offended! Lucky for me, there aren't any people on PA who want to talk about this, because depending on what they say, I might want to kill them

3) People who act like they're "God"

This probably offends me because I'm Christian, and I think this one is probably related to ego. It certainly doesn't offend me if other people "like" this trait - I just personally don't like arrogant people.

3 1/2) Girls wearing too much make up. This one only gets 1/2, this is entirely my ego. Fake eyelashes really make me mad lol

Rape and pedophilia I almost included, but those technically are not offending me. It's more stomach turning and gross than offensive. However if someone were to brag about such, then I think I'd be offended.

Yesterday Youtube recommended me up a relevant video too. I realize my iPhone can't hear my thoughts (yet!) but sometimes it seems like it does! The video was titled "Youtube stars who ruined their career with a single video", and I thought "Well gee, some of this has to be offensive!". It wasn't really that offensive though, mostly what was offensive is the fact that people are video-taping awful stuff and then uploading it to Youtube.

I think offended is not a strong enough word for seeing the innate wrongness of beastiality and pedophilia, I will add cruelty to animals and children to the list. I am outraged by it and have committed to intervene if it is ever presented to me. That commitment has not made me really popular with some of the rural folks where I live that are much more tolerant of animal cruelty than I am. In fairness, many look at animals as "livestock" so the end justifies the means.

Being offended is a personal like/dislike thing, something that we would like to be another way to fit our preferences, being intolerant of that which is wrong and that which we can do something about is mandatory in my estimation.

[Pam]

Here's Steve Hughes perspective:

http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=29555 (http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=29555)

Link seems dead but I have to re-animate this post. This Steve Hughes clip is the best:

ceS_jkKjIgo

That video was really funny...it really is another inversion of reality that many believe the key to them no longer being offended is to change and control the external world so that it will no longer be offensive...that is just ars- backwards..

[petra]

I think offended is not a strong enough word for seeing the innate wrongness of beastiality and pedophilia, I will add cruelty to animals and children to the list. I am outraged by it and have committed to intervene if it is ever presented to me. That commitment has not made me really popular with some of the rural folks where I live that are much more tolerant of animal cruelty than I am. In fairness, many look at animals as "livestock" so the end justifies the means.


Outraged is the perfect word to apply, Thank You.



Being offended is a personal like/dislike thing, something that we would like to be another way to fit our preferences, being intolerant of that which is wrong and that which we can do something about is mandatory in my estimation.

Yes! OK. Offended is more personal, whereas Outraged isn't really personal.

Getting outraged about things, unfortunately, is not something which I think I can fix.
The only way I know how to deal with outrage is to avoid it.
Fight or flight? I'll probably pick flight.... because the alternative is not nice.... not nice at all.

[DNA]

...That's psychology 101: you never admit to being bothered by someone attempting to get under your skin. Come on, most of us have had brothers and sisters.....all this does is encourage them. You just sit there and smile inscrutably, never uttering a word. In 10 minutes you will have driven them mad. Problem solved. That's one approach.
Oh, the silent treatment is and of itself psychological warfare.

In the Celestine Prophecy it's called the "aloof drama type", where as you act as if someone does not rate for an ounce of your attention but you perform in a manner that demands their attention without returning it.

My wife is the freaking master of this. She will start cleaning house and working all around you while letting you know that you do not rate on her attention scale and the silence is deafening. Drives me nuts. :boink:





I just can't fathom how it has become socially acceptable and even encouraged to cop to being so utterly pathetic, so much so that you require the offending party to apologize for bringing it to your attention.
The social leverage you speak of has come from Academia and Media telling folks they and their feelings are more important than facts or facts from case studies. It seems to be a coordinated effort. Your boy Jordan Peterson talks about the peer pressure coming from his colleagues and college administrators trying to force him to accept all of this radical feminism and to pedestal homosexuals as a class that can do no wrong and can make all kinds of social demands and rules that must be obeyed without question. Jordan Peterson just happens to be one of the folks who are articulate and knowledgeable enough not to cower when called a homophobe, a sexist and or a racist.



You know me, I'm of the school that this is a George Soros social engineering lever.

I know you don't like to think there is some kind of nefarious conspiracy tearing apart the fabric of America, but I'm of the opinion that there is.

My favor with Jordan Peterson and Ben Shipiro turns sour when I see how they refuse to part the veil and look beyond in terms of the social programming going on.

Both of these folks see it, but they do not see the effort as having a target for society's destruction and as such the destruction of Western Nations.

[Deux Corbeaux]

I would like to send this to a friend of mine, but he’d get offended. :behindsofa:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-mju_gW3c8

[Valerie Villars]

The only time I can recall getting offended is when I was targeted.

They came in my home, moved things around, opened things and made it generally known they had been in my home.

There were two times I got offended. I was offended when the 'testers" (I was the testee) were trying to get me to do things I would never do. Like stealing or lying for example. I was offended anyone thought I needed to be tested in those areas.

And the second was "they" took a dump in my toilet when I wasn't there, just so I'd see their calling card. That offended me.

But hey, I'm over it now. :bigsmile:

[Orph]

And the second was "they" took a dump in my toilet when I wasn't there, just so I'd see their calling card. That offended me.

Look at it this way, maybe "they" got offended when you flushed the toilet. ........ Payback! :whistle:

[DeDukshyn]

I tend to not get offended anymore. The only thing it does is make the "offended" feel like crap. I'm not as much into self harm as I used to be - so I let being offended go. :)

Being offended is very personal and subjective. This makes it obvious to see that getting offended is something that people do to themselves . Because it is subjective, other people cannot really "offend you" - you can't direct offense at a person like some sort of projectile - you can do actions that may or may not cause the state of "being offended" in a person - but it is entirely up to the person on the potential receiving end to decide if they get offended or not.

Getting offended in itself doesn't do anything except make you feel like crap; It doesn't even affect the person who offended you at all. The only thing it does is make the person who feels offended feel ****ty, angry, embarrassed, etc. So I can't understand why the hell people defend their right to be offended, and maintain that it is something that is directed from something outside of self. It isn't.

Who here likes feeling ****ty and angry? Put up your hand ... Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Yet we all get offended so ... either, people have no actual control over their own minds and emotional reactions, or, people are purposefully making themselves feel like **** for some reason I'd like to hear attempted to be explained. The answer is actually the former.


People, generally, have very little control over their own minds and reactions. But they think of themselves as having that control and that they are consciously doing these things - this is not really true. We can see the result of this in things like "being offended" and needing to control others - we feel that need because people are not really in proper control of their own minds - generally the people less in control of their minds are the ones who seek more to control others and maintain not being 'offended' via this activity of control.

So what is controlling your mind if it is not you? This is what is called the ego (cliché I know, but the true understanding of ego is not something that many people have, which is unfortunate), in more spiritual terms than psychiatric, but the two terms relate similarly to describe a phenomenon in the mind. Spirituality is entirely intended to, at least in part, present tools to allow one to gain control of their mind back - nothing on earth will get fixed properly until this is. The human mind is very powerful, and when out of control, (as is the main current state) it is destructive. Just look around the earth to see the current results.

You can measure a persons spirituality, in a sense, by how much you can observe a lack of egoic thinking in their mind. If a person claims to be very spiritual, but they are always being offended, getting up at external things, attempting to exert control, they do not have control of their mind and thus are not very far along in practicing spirituality (but they might be working on it so don't actually judge - it takes tons of constant practice with varying tools over a long period of time to fix your mind - but it is possible, and even a light dose of practicing this goes a long way in regaining that control and feeling ****ty a lot less).

If you are one of the ones that think your mind doesn't have this affliction, well, that's your affliction talking. :)

Sorry for the digression, my post just went that direction :)

[Flash]

I think offended is not a strong enough word for seeing the innate wrongness of beastiality and pedophilia, I will add cruelty to animals and children to the list. I am outraged by it and have committed to intervene if it is ever presented to me. That commitment has not made me really popular with some of the rural folks where I live that are much more tolerant of animal cruelty than I am. In fairness, many look at animals as "livestock" so the end justifies the means.


Outraged is the perfect word to apply, Thank You.



Being offended is a personal like/dislike thing, something that we would like to be another way to fit our preferences, being intolerant of that which is wrong and that which we can do something about is mandatory in my estimation.

Yes! OK. Offended is more personal, whereas Outraged isn't really personal.

Getting outraged about things, unfortunately, is not something which I think I can fix.
The only way I know how to deal with outrage is to avoid it.
Fight or flight? I'll probably pick flight.... because the alternative is not nice.... not nice at all.

I am offended that you play with words: outraged, offended, this is the same thing no? What is it about fixing something or not? hum...

To tell the truth, do not take me seriously here. I did learn something. To me offended is light, outraged stronger but in the same continuum, all can be fixed. For pedophilia i would have said I am more than disgusted, or this is absolutely unacceptable, which means much more than outraged, it means it has to be fixed.

But, English not being my language, I thought I may be wrong and actually be using the French definition of the words.

So, before getting more offended, I went to the dictionary (which I often do on Avalon, even if your readers are not aware of it ):

-----------------------------------------

Oxford dictionary:

offended: Resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.

‘he sounded rather offended’

outraged: An extremely strong reaction of anger, shock, or indignation.

‘her voice trembled with outrage’

disgusted: Feeling or expressing revulsion or strong disapproval.

‘a disgusted look’

----------------------------------------------------

So, you were right, here for pedophilia the term I would also now use is Outraged, thanks for the teaching Petra

This also teaches me that getting offended is very often caused by a misunderstanding amongst people, not by reality of intentions

[Mike]

...That's psychology 101: you never admit to being bothered by someone attempting to get under your skin. Come on, most of us have had brothers and sisters.....all this does is encourage them. You just sit there and smile inscrutably, never uttering a word. In 10 minutes you will have driven them mad. Problem solved. That's one approach.
Oh, the silent treatment is and of itself psychological warfare.

In the Celestine Prophecy it's called the "aloof drama type", where as you act as if someone does not rate for an ounce of your attention but you perform in a manner that demands their attention without returning it.

My wife is the freaking master of this. She will start cleaning house and working all around you while letting you know that you do not rate on her attention scale and the silence is deafening. Drives me nuts. :boink:





I just can't fathom how it has become socially acceptable and even encouraged to cop to being so utterly pathetic, so much so that you require the offending party to apologize for bringing it to your attention.
The social leverage you speak of has come from Academia and Media telling folks they and their feelings are more important than facts or facts from case studies. It seems to be a coordinated effort. Your boy Jordan Peterson talks about the peer pressure coming from his colleagues and college administrators trying to force him to accept all of this radical feminism and to pedestal homosexuals as a class that can do no wrong and can make all kinds of social demands and rules that must be obeyed without question. Jordan Peterson just happens to be one of the folks who are articulate and knowledgeable enough not to cower when called a homophobe, a sexist and or a racist.



You know me, I'm of the school that this is a George Soros social engineering lever.

I know you don't like to think there is some kind of nefarious conspiracy tearing apart the fabric of America, but I'm of the opinion that there is.

My favor with Jordan Peterson and Ben Shipiro turns sour when I see how they refuse to part the veil and look beyond in terms of the social programming going on.

Both of these folks see it, but they do not see the effort as having a target for society's destruction and as such the destruction of Western Nations.




hey Marcus, no I'm with you brother - there is certainly conspiratorial elements tearing at the fabric of the world. no doubt. OMG, absolutely!

I'm honestly not knowledgeable enough to talk about Soros in an intelligent way (as you know, my main area of interest is cryptids and high strangeness). What gets in my craw sometimes is that his name is bandied about indiscriminately whenever something nefarious happens, seemingly without any forethought. I know he's a creep, and I know he's operating behind the scenes in diabolical ways - I won't dispute that - but the web of corruption is so complex and so saturated with seedy characters (most of them unknown to us, I'm sure) that I think we can do ourselves a disservice by assuming that this one man is the main culprit most of the time. To my mind, he merely represents one level of the pyramid, and is basically the public operator for his anonymous handlers. So yes, lets keep an eye on Soros, but lets not stop there...that's basically what I'm saying.

re Peterson: I agree, his information doesn't account for the goings-on behind the veil. But give him time, I think he'll get there.

As far as getting offended...
A personal insult is a reason to be offended, justifiably. I get that. You get that feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you think, hey wait a minute there. that's really out of order. If the person doing the offending is someone you trust, like a friend or a loved one, it might make sense to sit them down and say, look, what you said to me yesterday was really hurtful, and you need to know I will not tolerate that anymore. And hopefully a mature, productive conversation can take place.

But what I see mostly is folks getting offended over a mere difference of opinion. It's a massively egotistical gesture, if you think about it: it's one person assuming moral high ground because the other person doesn't think like them on one or various topics. When broken down sufficiently, what's getting offended is someone's ego, or sense of intellectual entitlement...not any kind of authentic sense of unfairness. So, in this case I might suggest ignoring people like this, like i said above, or just not engaging with them to begin with. It's a waste of time and energy, which is the universe's greatest currency...so why give it away recklessly?

[onawah]

I think this post from another thread fits into the discussion here: http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?101475-How-Google-Facebook-Yahoo-decide-what-you-re-going-to-see&p=1260850&viewfull=1#post1260850
...as follows:
"Social Media Plot and The Demise of Our Future (Grannon-Vaknin Conversation)
Sam Vaknin
Published on Nov 22, 2018
Social media were designed with addiction, aggression, and monetizing in mind. The result is a clear and present danger to the very survival of the human species.
wpvv_ooqJik
Fans of the threads on narcissism will recognize Sam Vaknin, a brilliant researcher and psychologist."

...inasmuch as so much of human interaction these days is through the internet, which is akin to being behind the wheel of a car for a lot of people (possibly everyone) in that it seems to cancel the usual behavioral inhibitions and encourage more aggression.

...and this from the same thread:
"Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody Parody (Opinion Rhapsody)
11/6/18
IABRgZH12YA

Interesting how a song can bring a point home better than so many other mediums.

[petra]

I think offended is not a strong enough word for seeing the innate wrongness of beastiality and pedophilia, I will add cruelty to animals and children to the list. I am outraged by it and have committed to intervene if it is ever presented to me. That commitment has not made me really popular with some of the rural folks where I live that are much more tolerant of animal cruelty than I am. In fairness, many look at animals as "livestock" so the end justifies the means.


Outraged is the perfect word to apply, Thank You.



Being offended is a personal like/dislike thing, something that we would like to be another way to fit our preferences, being intolerant of that which is wrong and that which we can do something about is mandatory in my estimation.

Yes! OK. Offended is more personal, whereas Outraged isn't really personal.

Getting outraged about things, unfortunately, is not something which I think I can fix.
The only way I know how to deal with outrage is to avoid it.
Fight or flight? I'll probably pick flight.... because the alternative is not nice.... not nice at all.

I am offended that you play with words: outraged, offended, this is the same thing no? What is it about fixing something or not? hum...

To tell the truth, do not take me seriously here. I did learn something. To me offended is light, outraged stronger but in the same continuum, all can be fixed. For pedophilia i would have said I am more than disgusted, or this is absolutely unacceptable, which means much more than outraged, it means it has to be fixed.

But, English not being my language, I thought I may be wrong and actually be using the French definition of the words.

So, before getting more offended, I went to the dictionary (which I often do on Avalon, even if your readers are not aware of it ):

-----------------------------------------

Oxford dictionary:

offended: Resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.

‘he sounded rather offended’

outraged: An extremely strong reaction of anger, shock, or indignation.

‘her voice trembled with outrage’

disgusted: Feeling or expressing revulsion or strong disapproval.

‘a disgusted look’

----------------------------------------------------

So, you were right, here for pedophilia the term I would also now use is Outraged, thanks for the teaching Petra

This also teaches me that getting offended is very often caused by a misunderstanding amongst people, not by reality of intentions

Hi Flash,

At the time, I chose my words correctly, but now there's much confusion again! The lesson which I am learning here is that (my/our) feelings can change pretty quickly. EDIT: I also totally forgot about OUTRAGE, which is something I already knew, but somehow forgot about (learn to tell the difference!!!)

Rape and pedophilia sometimes outrage me (to the point I can practically see nothing but red and am unable to think), but other times it just turns my stomach (I can feel the disgust in my gag reflex, "YUCK"). Both of those are subjects which I am able to discuss though, for the most part.

I'm actually a bit shocked at feeling molesting animals to be worse than molesting people. These types of (distortions? perversions?) are all equally horrible, and trying to decide which one is the most horrible is sending me into a head spin. My goal is simply to be able to talk or read about the subject without shutting myself down.

[petra]

And the second was "they" took a dump in my toilet when I wasn't there, just so I'd see their calling card. That offended me.


Oh Valerie that's really funny, I'm sorry you were offended, but since you're over it now I should be free to laugh about it, no? :)
I got an "I C U P" joke while sitting on the can, as if there was a "Peeping Tom" inside of my mirror! I suppose that would have been offensive, had anyone actually been there.




...That's psychology 101: you never admit to being bothered by someone attempting to get under your skin. Come on, most of us have had brothers and sisters.....all this does is encourage them. You just sit there and smile inscrutably, never uttering a word. In 10 minutes you will have driven them mad. Problem solved. That's one approach.
Oh, the silent treatment is and of itself psychological warfare.


DNA, I think you touched on something really important in regards to "Psychological Warfare" (AKA "Playing Games").

People don't think of something as simple as "Shutting Up" to be similar to warfare, but it sure can be depending on the intention. If anyone on PA's intention is to frustrate, anger, or upset people, I'd imagine the mods would figure it out quick! That'd be similar to an "Act Of War" to me.

Innuendo is like a weapon too, very very much. I have to be so careful not to insinuate offensive things, like the time I said "anal sex is gross" and someone said "but what about the gay people?" (I'm paraphrasing)

[Pam]

I think offended is not a strong enough word for seeing the innate wrongness of beastiality and pedophilia, I will add cruelty to animals and children to the list. I am outraged by it and have committed to intervene if it is ever presented to me. That commitment has not made me really popular with some of the rural folks where I live that are much more tolerant of animal cruelty than I am. In fairness, many look at animals as "livestock" so the end justifies the means.


Outraged is the perfect word to apply, Thank You.



Being offended is a personal like/dislike thing, something that we would like to be another way to fit our preferences, being intolerant of that which is wrong and that which we can do something about is mandatory in my estimation.

Yes! OK. Offended is more personal, whereas Outraged isn't really personal.

Getting outraged about things, unfortunately, is not something which I think I can fix.
The only way I know how to deal with outrage is to avoid it.
Fight or flight? I'll probably pick flight.... because the alternative is not nice.... not nice at all.

I am offended that you play with words: outraged, offended, this is the same thing no? What is it about fixing something or not? hum...

To tell the truth, do not take me seriously here. I did learn something. To me offended is light, outraged stronger but in the same continuum, all can be fixed. For pedophilia i would have said I am more than disgusted, or this is absolutely unacceptable, which means much more than outraged, it means it has to be fixed.

But, English not being my language, I thought I may be wrong and actually be using the French definition of the words.

So, before getting more offended, I went to the dictionary (which I often do on Avalon, even if your readers are not aware of it ):

-----------------------------------------

Oxford dictionary:

offended: Resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.

‘he sounded rather offended’

outraged: An extremely strong reaction of anger, shock, or indignation.

‘her voice trembled with outrage’

disgusted: Feeling or expressing revulsion or strong disapproval.

‘a disgusted look’

----------------------------------------------------

So, you were right, here for pedophilia the term I would also now use is Outraged, thanks for the teaching Petra

This also teaches me that getting offended is very often caused by a misunderstanding amongst people, not by reality of intentions


I will admit to picking the word "outrage" out without a lot of consideration and agree that "totally unacceptable" is a far more accurate description of what I wanted to say. It takes the emotional element out of it.

Being offended seems to be a fuzzy, subjective thing, something that might offend me might not offend you in the least, so I do not think that there is anything you can do about it except not get offended. To use my previous example, if I think someone is a "good Christian" and then they behave in a way that doesn't support that belief and I become offended, what am I going to do about it, other than be offended? I guess I could try to change their behavior, which obviously isn't going to work...maybe I could see the folly of my having expectations of how they should behave.. it really is all sort of messy...on the other hand, if I see something that I have defined as totally unacceptable and I have committed to intervening if I am ever confronted with it, I will take action. The things that I have deemed unacceptable are pretty clear cut, although I guess it could be argued that they aren't....

Flash, I really do love how passionate and spunky you are..

[DeDukshyn]

Things that "outrage" will generally have a larger consensus within the masses, which implies (rightly or wrongly) the higher level of concern, seriousness or validity as someone previously indicated.

Things that "offend" tend to be very subjective with a lot of varying and opposing viewpoints as to what is actually offensive. Greg Hughes in the video on previous page said it quite well.

That's pretty much the only distinction (in regards to what things fit into what category) -- the level of consensus.

Both indicate an (uncontrolled) internal emotional reaction to something external.

[onawah]

Judicial Watch keeping an eye on Soros
Chris Farrell: How the State Dept. Outsources YOUR Tax Dollars to George Soros Front Groups
Judicial Watch
Published on Nov 29, 2018
"As the migrant caravan has been developing in the news for the past few months, Bill O'Reilly has set his focus on the funding that is allowing this highly orchestrated caravan to operate. As we have reported, the money trail seems to lead back to George Soros. On today's No Spin News, Judicial Watch Director of Investigations and Research Chris Farrell gives his expertise on Soros and specifies exactly how George Soros is operating and how it is directly impacting the American taxpayers."
Gmaxq7L8D00



I'm honestly not knowledgeable enough to talk about Soros in an intelligent way (as you know, my main area of interest is cryptids and high strangeness). What gets in my craw sometimes is that his name is bandied about indiscriminately whenever something nefarious happens, seemingly without any forethought. I know he's a creep, and I know he's operating behind the scenes in diabolical ways - I won't dispute that - but the web of corruption is so complex and so saturated with seedy characters (most of them unknown to us, I'm sure) that I think we can do ourselves a disservice by assuming that this one man is the main culprit most of the time. To my mind, he merely represents one level of the pyramid, and is basically the public operator for his anonymous handlers. So yes, lets keep an eye on Soros, but lets not stop there...that's basically what I'm saying.

[Strat]

I cringe when 20 something year old strat is quoted....anyway,

Not sure all I posted before but (where did I mention the ego? page 1?) my mindset has changed a bit. In the past I talked the walk and now I walk it a bit more. So my opinions have changed.

I don't have the mental fortitude to text wall my beliefs on all this so I'll give my 2 cents: it's ok to be offended/angry/whatever but it shouldn't have an emotional impact. This drop inhibitions and impedes typical straight forward, logical thinking. It's like you're drunk on emotions. Case in point:



outrage me (to the point I can practically see nothing but red and am unable to think)

It's going to be much harder to solve any problem if you can't think.

Once rage hits it will run its course, its not going to be stopped. The best answer is prevention. My solution is basic mindfulness meditation. It sucks, cause its a lot of work but it's great when you keep at it and see results.

[petra]

I cringe when 20 something year old strat is quoted....anyway,

Not sure all I posted before but (where did I mention the ego? page 1?) my mindset has changed a bit. In the past I talked the walk and now I walk it a bit more. So my opinions have changed.

I don't have the mental fortitude to text wall my beliefs on all this so I'll give my 2 cents: it's ok to be offended/angry/whatever but it shouldn't have an emotional impact. This drop inhibitions and impedes typical straight forward, logical thinking. It's like you're drunk on emotions. Case in point:



outrage me (to the point I can practically see nothing but red and am unable to think)

It's going to be much harder to solve any problem if you can't think.

Once rage hits it will run its course, its not going to be stopped. The best answer is prevention. My solution is basic mindfulness meditation. It sucks, cause its a lot of work but it's great when you keep at it and see results.

You said "mastering the ego" in the very last posting before I necro'd this, so really you just touched on it in passing. Thanks for your 2 cents, and I like that comparison to drunken-ness too.

But isn't it fun to be able to look back at your old thoughts and cringe a bit? The amount of cringing is probably directly proportional to the amount you've learned since then :)

[DeDukshyn]

I cringe when 20 something year old strat is quoted....anyway,

Not sure all I posted before but (where did I mention the ego? page 1?) my mindset has changed a bit. In the past I talked the walk and now I walk it a bit more. So my opinions have changed.

I don't have the mental fortitude to text wall my beliefs on all this so I'll give my 2 cents: it's ok to be offended/angry/whatever but it shouldn't have an emotional impact. This drop inhibitions and impedes typical straight forward, logical thinking. It's like you're drunk on emotions. Case in point:



outrage me (to the point I can practically see nothing but red and am unable to think)

It's going to be much harder to solve any problem if you can't think.

Once rage hits it will run its course, its not going to be stopped. The best answer is prevention. My solution is basic mindfulness meditation. It sucks, cause its a lot of work but it's great when you keep at it and see results.


If you remove all emotion from anger/offense/outrage - do those labels still even apply accurately? In my view, it is the emotional reaction that gives each of those a distinct quality and thus is in part, at least, the definition of those terms. There is one utility that can be potentially found in having an emotional reaction, I'll get to that in a second.

I believe if you completely removed all emotion from offense, all you would have left is a clear observation of a particular situation. If you removed the emotion from anger, again all that would be left would be a clear observation of a situation. I use the term "clear" because as everyone knows and as Petra pointed out, these emotional reactions cloud your perception and cause you to not be able to perceive the situation, or, act appropriately in response. Being rendered unable to think (this is the power of fear to bind or paralyze) due to an emotional response will never allow for an appropriate response, yet some sort of debilitation certainly affects all of us to any extent, while we are have strong emotional responses.

If you see something outrageous that you believe you need to act on, do you need to feel outrage to act? I legitimately don't think everyone would answer 'no' to this question. Here's where the utility comes in to play. Some people are only motivated enough to respond when they have that reaction, at the same time though, reactions under those conditions are often over-reactions and not overly productive. To make it work you need control and balance - to be able to control and balance the internal ego - the ego should be in the third row back seat, not the drivers seat.

I think it was Kurt Russel (not 100% confident it was him) I saw on a talk show once, and they were talking about his past anger issues. He said that he knew he was angry but didn't mind because it gave him strength and allowed him to get things done. He wasn't condoning it of course (it caused him a lot of problems in his life), but just explaining how he was able to let it be rampant - he actually came to rely on its utility - like a weird addiction.



This could be why I am hugely unmotivated, lol.

[Antagenet]

This (being offended) is a timely subject for me because I just ended a friendship that mattered to me a lot
over feeling offended.
What I could not tolerate was lowbrow humor, and a steady dose of jokes about flatulence combined with
his constant self-deprecation.
Here is the problem. I tend to associate people with words. I learned this as I was learning Spanish, as I realised
that for each new Spanish word I learned, I remembered vividly who had taught me each word.
So if someone talks constantly about farting, I tend to associate that person with farting, and then associate
our friendship with farting, and I can almost even smell the farts when they are mentioned.
The friend unfortunately told me they could not change their humor, and refused to stop telling these jokes.
I had to let the friendship go because of it.
:-(

[DeDukshyn]

This (being offended) is a timely subject for me because I just ended a friendship that mattered to me a lot
over feeling offended.
What I could not tolerate was lowbrow humor, and a steady dose of jokes about flatulence combined with
his constant self-deprecation.
Here is the problem. I tend to associate people with words. I learned this as I was learning Spanish, as I realised
that for each new Spanish word I learned, I remembered vividly who had taught me each word.
So if someone talks constantly about farting, I tend to associate that person with farting, and then associate
our friendship with farting, and I can almost even smell the farts when they are mentioned.
The friend unfortunately told me they could not change their humor, and refused to stop telling these jokes.
I had to let the friendship go because of it.
:-(

That made me chuckle a bit. :)