Chester
30th January 2013, 12:00
Dear Ray, you know by now my intentions. Perhaps you have met with me in the astral. Likely you may know me even more than I know myself.
Unfortunately for you and others, I seem to achieve an ability to rip through the perceived paradigms of others and in my process I expose questionable areas.
At the end of the day, I may be the last man standing and thus be the last (and only) questioner - a terribly lonely place at that.
It is now my current conclusion that despite my "good intentions" it is probably best I get serious about my own inner work (if I can so do).
You once advised me that these forums can be "infective." What concerns me is that at times I appear to be the deliverer of infections but I can never see that until after the fact, after the damage has been done.
Of course, I also wondered why you have frequented so many of these forums and especially Avalon which seems to contradict your own advice.
So again, another question - but not a question I am prompting you to answer because the question is better directed at myself.
So here is my answer to my own question.
I joined this forum (the only forum of this nature I ever actively joined and within which participated) for the following reasons and in this order.
Reason 1 - I believed I had something to contribute.
Reason 2 - I believed that if I proved Reason 1 well enough to myself, perhaps I could move into another direction in my life that may also lead to my ability to support myself as a secondary consequence.
Reason 3 - This came clear to me after I began to read and write posts which was that my participation was tremendously healing.
Reason 4 - Discovered after several weeks of participation that I had the opportunity to learn so much about our world(s) that I had never imagined possible.
Reason 5 - That I might not have to be so lonely.
So, within these reasons is the most driving (inner) motivation which is that I somehow figure all this out such that I can "help others" escape their prisons. This is the truest manifestation of a savior complex and as one can imagine and which, most likely, could make me the very most difficult prison guard for the rest of humanity might have to deal with.
Its funny how seeking the truth, if one does so earnestly, so often leads one to the reality their greatest fear has become manifest.
I have no doubt your experiences are very real. I also have no doubt the "complex" which you are adept at exploring exists as much as anything else might exist and within which you have traveled far and the "teachers" you have encountered are indeed "masters."
This dynamic you write about may be the "real one" - the "true" one in this container within which all of "us" Spirit beings (and others) share.
I really don't know.
Let's see where all this goes.
Kind Regards
Chester
Unfortunately for you and others, I seem to achieve an ability to rip through the perceived paradigms of others and in my process I expose questionable areas.
At the end of the day, I may be the last man standing and thus be the last (and only) questioner - a terribly lonely place at that.
It is now my current conclusion that despite my "good intentions" it is probably best I get serious about my own inner work (if I can so do).
You once advised me that these forums can be "infective." What concerns me is that at times I appear to be the deliverer of infections but I can never see that until after the fact, after the damage has been done.
Of course, I also wondered why you have frequented so many of these forums and especially Avalon which seems to contradict your own advice.
So again, another question - but not a question I am prompting you to answer because the question is better directed at myself.
So here is my answer to my own question.
I joined this forum (the only forum of this nature I ever actively joined and within which participated) for the following reasons and in this order.
Reason 1 - I believed I had something to contribute.
Reason 2 - I believed that if I proved Reason 1 well enough to myself, perhaps I could move into another direction in my life that may also lead to my ability to support myself as a secondary consequence.
Reason 3 - This came clear to me after I began to read and write posts which was that my participation was tremendously healing.
Reason 4 - Discovered after several weeks of participation that I had the opportunity to learn so much about our world(s) that I had never imagined possible.
Reason 5 - That I might not have to be so lonely.
So, within these reasons is the most driving (inner) motivation which is that I somehow figure all this out such that I can "help others" escape their prisons. This is the truest manifestation of a savior complex and as one can imagine and which, most likely, could make me the very most difficult prison guard for the rest of humanity might have to deal with.
Its funny how seeking the truth, if one does so earnestly, so often leads one to the reality their greatest fear has become manifest.
I have no doubt your experiences are very real. I also have no doubt the "complex" which you are adept at exploring exists as much as anything else might exist and within which you have traveled far and the "teachers" you have encountered are indeed "masters."
This dynamic you write about may be the "real one" - the "true" one in this container within which all of "us" Spirit beings (and others) share.
I really don't know.
Let's see where all this goes.
Kind Regards
Chester