Eros...Love

[Freed Fox]

There are four Ancient Greek concepts which can be translated to mean 'love';

Storge - familial love
Philia - friendship
Agape - selfless love
Eros - intimate/romantic love

We are empty and unfulfilled, if we live a life devoid of love.

I have been lucky enough to experience the first three types over the course of my life thus far. However, for reasons which are my own and...complicated, to say the least, I feel I am bound to never experience the fourth in this current lifetime.

Up until last year, my primary goal was to find it. I 'put myself out there', time and time again. For lack of a better explanation, it simply seems as if it is not meant to be. This notion was reinforced when I abandoned that goal, only to discover just how much pain and misery it was bringing me. Releasing that desire brought me a great feeling of liberation...though that desire creeps back into my heart from time to time. I wonder if I will look back on this and curse my decision in the midst of loneliness.

It seems to me that Agape is the only form which should be crucial to strive for, as I see it as the pinnacle ideal. If every man and woman experienced Agape without being controlled by the more selfish forms of love there could very well be no war, no slavery, no manipulation. We would feel the harm we do unto others, and we would desire to avoid it, to alleviate it. We would not so readily believe that the ends justify the means.

Can a person achieve self-actualization without Eros? Are they bound to never feel satisfied of fulfilled until they experience it?

Are some of us meant to be alone?

[sleepy]

xxxxxxx xxxxxx

[mosquito]

You're 25 for heaven's sake, that's no age to give up on ANYTHING !!!

From my experience, intimate love is the arena for the greatest self knowledge, self expression and realisation. For me, it doesn't always come easily and there have oft been long periods of . It is one of those things that you probably won't find if you look too hard, I agree with Sleepy above, relax and let it find you !!!

Good luck !!

[Freed Fox]

This is about more than just me. There are deeper questions being posed, such as is this a necessary experience? Are some of us actually better off without it?

Delores Cannon, for example, believes that there are 'waves of volunteers' among us who are avoiding taking lovers or starting families, so as to avoid incurring karma. I've always assumed that to be an unconscious or subconscious decision, as it would seem that few in their right mind would choose emotional isolation.

I gave up for several reasons. One was the very advice which you've given, that it will not come if one is trying to force it. Following that advice changed nothing in that respect. Another reason is that I came to see it as a selfish pursuit. Yet another is that I had faith that whatever is needed will be provided.

I'm wondering what others think about this in those regards, in a general sense, or as it has pertained to them in their own journeys. There are many others here with more life experience and years under their belt than I. That is meant to be the spirit of this inquiry.

[Fred Steeves]

We are empty and unfulfilled, if we live a life devoid of love.

True enough


I have been lucky enough to experience the first three types over the course of my life thus far. However, for reasons which are my own and...complicated, to say the least, I feel I am bound to never experience the fourth in this current lifetime.

Like mariposafe said, you're 25.


Up until last year, my primary goal was to find it. I 'put myself out there', time and time again. For lack of a better explanation, it simply seems as if it is not meant to be.

Once again my brother, you're 25. :)


It seems to me that Agape is the only form which should be crucial to strive for, as I see it as the pinnacle ideal.

I always wanted to be a father, and always thought I'd be a damn good one too. Still do. It just wasn't meant to be though, atleast not in this life, unless there's a surprise knock coming to my door one day.(LOL) But here's the catch... If a person is born with a certain love to express and share, then that love WILL be expressed, and thus received, in one form or another, come hell or high water.


Can a person achieve self-actualization without Eros? Are they bound to never feel satisfied of fulfilled until they experience it

A person can do anything, there are no limits.

[buckminster fuller]

Semantics don't always give us a right view on things, eros is the basic link between all things, as they are all born one from another. It is also the physiological setup of humans that ensures continuity of generations. I see it as something naturally sacred as its sole, raw purpose is to give life. Do we have to fall for it ? I think not, but I've learned that the brain is a complex thing and has a life of its own that we should care to secure. By that I mean that we have to let go, and follow our instincts without intellectualizing everything. Observe, feel, share the present are occupations that should keep us busy. I don't think agape really works without eros. But eros can take many different forms, not all of them are sexual.

[write4change]

When I was 25 the universe gift me with a profound experience of love. One moment will be with you eternally. Ironically, that glimpse made me feel unworthy of the experience. But it made me a seeker. It also gave me the strength to begin over and over. When I mostly became the person I wanted to love---love came. That took a decade. I had an 18 year marriage til he died that blessed me with time and understanding.

The journey to becoming a good person is never boring. I still work at it and I still enjoy it. And for sure i would rather have no relationship than a bad one. My thought is if you are really lonely you do not know the person in the mirror well enough yet. But that may be my projection from my experience.

I wish you well. There are some videos on you tube by humanity healing about love and calling it to you that are very good.

[Freed Fox]

buckminster: Perhaps the definitions I provided were too narrow, or off. I apologize if I misrepresented the concepts.


And for sure i would rather have no relationship than a bad one.

I agree wholeheartedly, though that wasn't always the case. Thank you write4change, for sharing your insight.

[mosquito]

FF, throughout history, mankind has been enslaved by many different factions, not least of which has been religion. One of the prime ways in which our freedom and humanity is attacked is via the demonisation of sexual love and the sexual act. Unfortunately, the same is still happening with the new age and all its' attendant gurus and self-appointed masters.

I am not you, I don't know your gifts and talents, but I do not doubt your capacity for expressing love physically and intimately. Don't unconsciously push it away by allowing someone else to project their negative feelings about sex onto you via their "teachings". Only YOU know your path.

Again - you are 25, there is no telling what experiences are going to come into your life, most of which lies in front of you.

[Daughter of Time]

Personally, I feel that the full human experience cannot be had without erotic love, even if this kind of love does not last forever.

In an ideal world, we should be able to unite with another with whom we have a connection on every level: the sexual, the emotional, the intellectual and the spiritual. But we do not live in an ideal world so such a union is rare. I don't know if it's rare because we have so many issues that we carry with us from other existences that sometimes uniting with another, although satisfying in many ways, can also feel like two worlds colliding. I also believe there are powers at work that don't want humans to live in this form of happiness. True love can move mountains, as the saying goes, and there are forces that don't want us to have such power.

For some, especially those who have a specific mission in life, it can be a choice to do without the intimacy of erotic love even though they can experience sexual love which does not go beyond the sexual. This can be satisfying at the carnal level, but it is not complete if it's lacking in the other areas.

I do agree that intimate/romantic love should not be actively pursued as this can lead to anxiety which ends up uniting us with a wrong partner who might seem right at the beginning. Eagerness to be with a partner can blind us to the point of seeing only what we wish to see and eventually ending up very disappointed.

Is it possible to achieve self-actualization without Eros? I would say "yes". The journey we are on sometimes can be best achieved alone even if we may not know this when we are very young. And happiness comes from within. If one is not happy within, one will not be happy with another. Another person can enhance our happiness, but we cannot rely on them to make us happy.

Two people who are ideal for each other will not only meet at the sexual, emotional, intellectual and spiritual level, but they will also help one another to achieve their goals, their dreams, without wanting to change them unless they are doing something destructive. They will be understanding of one another and help each other become the best they can be. But again, this type of union is rare and will be experienced only by some. What makes one attract the right partner? I do not know.

Ultimately, it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. This does not mean that one cannot have a lover as long there is the understanding that it may not be everything one is looking for.

[realitycorrodes]

Love is a mind control concept - a completely meaningless term.

[WHOMADEGOD]

Love is a mind control concept - a completely meaningless term.

Sounds me to me like somebody needs a big hug! :-)

[Kraut]

...However, for reasons which are my own and...complicated, to say the least, I feel I am bound to never experience the fourth in this current lifetime.

Up until last year, my primary goal was to find it. I 'put myself out there', time and time again. For lack of a better explanation, it simply seems as if it is not meant to be. This notion was reinforced when I abandoned that goal, only to discover just how much pain and misery it was bringing me. Releasing that desire brought me a great feeling of liberation...though that desire creeps back into my heart from time to time. I wonder if I will look back on this and curse my decision in the midst of loneliness.
If you try to force it you won't find it. It seems to me that these things find us, we don't find them. Don't ask me why it is that in life the things we hope for most are the ones that are most elusive at that particular time. Arghggh. :lol: Seems to me that you only thought you abandoned your goal, because it was still lingering in the back of your mind. I know what that is like.

You have an opportunity here. You can get to know yourself better, make peace with yourself and find happiness in yourself. Too many people make their happiness dependent on others, they need others to experience love, so they never really find it, because they neglect to learn to love themselves. From experience I can say it's not easy to love oneself, but it's crucial to do that. How about making that a goal?


It seems to me that Agape is the only form which should be crucial to strive for, as I see it as the pinnacle ideal. If every man and woman experienced Agape without being controlled by the more selfish forms of love there could very well be no war, no slavery, no manipulation. We would feel the harm we do unto others, and we would desire to avoid it, to alleviate it. We would not so readily believe that the ends justify the means.
If I were you I'd get rid of these labels, I know many won't agree with my opinion that love is love, regardless of which kind. What if through a beautiful relationship you will one day be able to master selfless love and to understand it better? We can throw around all these concepts and try to label things. Are we going to analyze which kind of love we are showing to a person in a given situation? Or are we just going to love.

Even manifestations of Agape can be tainted. And the other forms of love needn't be selfish. Eros can be just as much about giving in a selfless way. Just because many people out there don't get that we don't have to reach the conclusion that only Agape is selfless.


Are some of us meant to be alone?
I doubt that. If you were meant to be alone you wouldn't be asking these questions, you just wouldn't care at all.

Be well, and relax. There's still lots and lots of time.

[RUSirius]

I think there are also certain stages in life, that provide different "challenges" for the lack of a better word. FF FWIW when I was 25 I had the exact same thoughts, now I'm 35 with a whole different set of new thoughts and "challenges". FWIW my brother.

[Sidney]

Personally, I feel that the full human experience cannot be had without erotic love, even if this kind of love does not last forever.

In an ideal world, we should be able to unite with another with whom we have a connection on every level: the sexual, the emotional, the intellectual and the spiritual. But we do not live in an ideal world so such a union is rare. I don't know if it's rare because we have so many issues that we carry with us from other existences that sometimes uniting with another, although satisfying in many ways, can also feel like two worlds colliding. I also believe there are powers at work that don't want humans to live in this form of happiness. True love can move mountains, as the saying goes, and there are forces that don't want us to have such power.

For some, especially those who have a specific mission in life, it can be a choice to do without the intimacy of erotic love even though they can experience sexual love which does not go beyond the sexual. This can be satisfying at the carnal level, but it is not complete if it's lacking in the other areas.

I do agree that intimate/romantic love should not be actively pursued as this can lead to anxiety which ends up uniting us with a wrong partner who might seem right at the beginning. Eagerness to be with a partner can blind us to the point of seeing only what we wish to see and eventually ending up very disappointed.

Is it possible to achieve self-actualization without Eros? I would say "yes". The journey we are on sometimes can be best achieved alone even if we may not know this when we are very young. And happiness comes from within. If one is not happy within, one will not be happy with another. Another person can enhance our happiness, but we cannot rely on them to make us happy.

Two people who are ideal for each other will not only meet at the sexual, emotional, intellectual and spiritual level, but they will also help one another to achieve their goals, their dreams, without wanting to change them unless they are doing something destructive. They will be understanding of one another and help each other become the best they can be. But again, this type of union is rare and will be experienced only by some. What makes one attract the right partner? I do not know.

Ultimately, it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. This does not mean that one cannot have a lover as long there is the understanding that it may not be everything one is looking for.

That is the truest statement I have read in a very long time. I am currently going through a divorce, and the fact is, when I and my STBX (soon to be ex), I was seeking, searching,wanting, needing, all that etc.
My guard was down, and oh boy , hind sight is 2020. Whirlwind romance, got married before we knew each other. It is tempting to say that this is another wasted 4 years of my life with the wrong person, but the truth is, this life experience is about learning, gaining knowledge, about people, but mostly about ourselves. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
That said,since we have split (even though we currently are still under the same roof), the void in my heart feels like one of those sinkholes, swallowing up my soul. It is painful, losing love, even when the brain knows that the love was never real in the first place. I do not believe that Love is meaningless as realitycorrodes claims. I think it is a natural human condition, to want to love and be loved. If it wasn't such a wonderful thing, I don't think it would be so painful when it is removed.

Freedfox, you are so young, you should not give up on love. i think you can do your "job" as being a member of one of the waves of helpers, and still have love in your live. However, if you really want to commit yourself to that, I agree with the bearing children thing. Children require a huge commitment that everything else HAS to be put on the back burner. Childrens needs are non-negotiable, at least until they are of adult age and fully independent. Being a lightworker can be a dangerous job. I think a high percentage of Targeted Individuals, are here for that purpose, and the simple reason for being targeted, is to have their "light" put out, so to speak.
If I didn't have a child, I would be doing so much more, advocating our freedoms, and be much more active in the things i am passionate about. But for my childs protection, I will lay low until the time is appropriate. But I will never completely give up on love, but I can say, It will be a cold day in hell before my wall comes back down. I am no longer on a quest for love. It will have to find me. And if it never comes, I can deal with it, I still have my cats . : )

[Padmé]

👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻

[ThresholdRising]

There are four Ancient Greek concepts which can be translated to mean 'love';

Storge - familial love
Philia - friendship
Agape - selfless love
Eros - intimate/romantic love

We are empty and unfulfilled, if we live a life devoid of love.

I have been lucky enough to experience the first three types over the course of my life thus far. However, for reasons which are my own and...complicated, to say the least, I feel I am bound to never experience the fourth in this current lifetime.

Up until last year, my primary goal was to find it. I 'put myself out there', time and time again. For lack of a better explanation, it simply seems as if it is not meant to be. This notion was reinforced when I abandoned that goal, only to discover just how much pain and misery it was bringing me. Releasing that desire brought me a great feeling of liberation...though that desire creeps back into my heart from time to time. I wonder if I will look back on this and curse my decision in the midst of loneliness.

It seems to me that Agape is the only form which should be crucial to strive for, as I see it as the pinnacle ideal. If every man and woman experienced Agape without being controlled by the more selfish forms of love there could very well be no war, no slavery, no manipulation. We would feel the harm we do unto others, and we would desire to avoid it, to alleviate it. We would not so readily believe that the ends justify the means.

Can a person achieve self-actualization without Eros? Are they bound to never feel satisfied of fulfilled until they experience it?

Are some of us meant to be alone?

I believe that there is only one type of love and even though the I feel and experience different types of love at different times ( never the same any 2 moments), that it is of the love that just keeps having new children in a sense that each have there own charactistics, strengths and weakness like real children.

I know that it would be different if I was in your situation but the belief at the minute is if I was in your shoes, I would just try to give love to everyone, every action and everything whether it be mine or someone or something else no matter if it is of family, friends, the self or of intimatacy and know that you are connected with everbody and everything else and will never be alone.

Thanks for the great post, Love and Light.

[Wind]

I feel you, Freed Fox.

I've too have never been in a relationship, but I haven't given up on it since I do think that there is a time and place for everything. Funnily enough when I was fairly young child I knew and remembered how it was to be loved in a relationship... But the thing was that I never had been in a relationship, at least not in this life.

Earlier I used to be really sad about it since I thought that I needed a relationship in order to feel complete as a human being, but now I just have accepted that I'm fine being alone. Most people have a hard time being alone, so I think that it's a gift that I actually can and like to be alone most of the time. It's not that bad at all even though sometimes loneliness makes you think about your life. I'm not actively looking for someone, but I'm open to the idea that I might meet someone someday. However, I think that I need to get to know myself better first so that other people can value me as I am. I'm just starting to think that I know who I am even though I really don't have the slightest of idea! It's a journey! ;)

Everyone wants to be loved and everyone deserves to be loved, including you. I think that possibly we all have that "special someone" who we just might have not met yet, but we will. One day.

Never lose hope! :)

[GloriousPoetry]

Eros is nice when it comes to sharing yourself sexually and emotionally but self-actualization is something greater......profoundly greater.....melting into grace where I caress the softness of my heart's tender gaze and where there is no end nor beginning to attend love fulfills itself in my inner most ways.

Look up my thread "Energy of Love" perhaps it will help......

Blessings,

Gloria

[RUSirius]

By the way FF, I love ya man...

[Freed Fox]

You're all too kind... Thank you all very much.

[RUSirius]

You're all too kind... Thank you all very much.

Hey my brother, read this

If I trust in the wind she will pave me a different road...

Great words

[Gekko]

Agape is powerful indeed. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for it. It reached me at my lowest points every time, without fail. The only kind of light that could strike me as genuine while in that place. I still see it as somewhat miraculous.

Eros... well, I seem to be in the same boat. I have had intense and deeply emotional connections, the kind that is much more than a friend, yet not sexual or romantic in the common sense of the word. I want that kind of intimacy as much as anyone; it just didn't feel 'right' with those people given the very complex things going on between us and in our own lives.

I've known for a long time that I don't want kids. I don't know why... besides the practical aspects, I've just never desired it. I do have in mind some sort of 'tribal' family. I'd like that very much. Native Hawaiians supposedly have a generational system of kinship where, for example, all cousins are known as 'brother' or 'sister', all people from the biological parents' generation are known as 'mother' and 'father', etc.

[Kraut]

...I've known for a long time that I don't want kids. I don't know why... besides the practical aspects, I've just never desired it...

I'm glad I'm not the only younger person to feel that way. People usually tell me that I'll change my mind but I don't think so. Like you say, I have no desire to have children of my own.

[Padmé]

👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻

[Gekko]

In my culture we also refer to our elders as aunty, uncle, father, mother, grandmother, grandfather too and younger generations as sisters, brothers etc. Its one part of my culture I encourage my children to practice even though where we live, people are not familiar with this tradition and sometimes find it odd :o So mostly, we keep these references for friends or close aquintances. Culturally, we also have 'milk mothers' an 'milk sisters- brothers' though I never had one, my mother did as her mother had to work long hours when she was born and her friend was already nursing her own daughter at the time.

My Dominican friend likes to talk about similar things he experienced while living in the DR, even though he wasn't born there and isn't a citizen. Maybe in time it'll find its way back to the 'richer' parts of the world. ;)