Justice system failed Nova Scotian teenager who was raped and bullied

[northstar]

http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/09/the-justice-system-failed-her-nova-scotia-teenager-commits-suicide-after-being-raped-bullied-mother/

‘The justice system failed her’: Nova Scotia teenager commits suicide after being raped, bullied: mother

I only have one question:
Why are the four males who raped a 15 year old girl and posted the photo to the internet walking free?
Where is the justice in that?

[northstar]

http://bellejarblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/rehtaeh-parsons/

Rehtaeh Parsons

The story is disturbingly familiar.

A teenage girl goes to some kind of get-together, maybe a party.

She is raped by multiple assailants.

The rape is photographed and distributed via social media.

The girl is subjected to horrifying acts of bullying and shaming. She is branded a ****. Her life becomes a living hell.

This girl is not Steubenville’s Jane Doe, although their stories bear a remarkable resemblance. This girl is Rehtaeh Parsons, a 17-year-old from Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia, who hanged herself on April 4th, a year and a half after being raped. Her family took her off life support this past Sunday.

Reading the account of what happened to Rehtaeh is like watching an deadly accident slowly, methodically unfolding in front of you. And there are bystanders, plenty of bystanders, who had any number of opportunities to step in and do something, but none of them do.

And, in many ways, you are one of these bystanders, too. I am, too. We all are.

Rehtaeh did not have a rape kit done because she was too ashamed to tell anyone about her rape until several days later, at which point it was thought to be too late to retrieve medical evidence.

The boys (there were four of them) accused of raping Retaeh were not interviewed until long after the family tried to press charges.

They were not separated for their interviews; they were interviewed together, meaning that they were easily able to corroborate each others’ stories.

The investigation took over a year. In the end, it was decided that there was insufficient evidence of sexual assault, no charges were laid, and the boys got off scot free.

No legal action was taken with regards to the photographs of the rape that were distributed through social media. Rehtaeh’s mother was told that this was because there was no way of proving who had taken the pictures.

Rehtaeh struggled to survive for seventeen months. She moved to Halifax, unable to cope with the fact that her rapists were also her high school classmates. She checked herself into the hospital when she felt suicidal and stayed there for six weeks. She made new friends. She saw a therapist. She fought to live. She fought hard.

When I read her story, I can’t help but wonder:

Where the **** were all the grownups?

Where were the grownups who were supposed to love her and protect her? Where were the grownups who should have kept her safe? Where were the grownups who were supposed to make sure that she received some kind of justice for what she suffered?

And I don’t mean her parents, because it’s clear that they, too, have been struggling for the past seventeen months, doing what they can to try to help and advocate for their daughter. I mean where the **** were the school officials, the members of the law enforcement, the people who should have made sure that she had adequate follow-up mental health care after her hospitalization? Where were they, and why didn’t they do anything? Or if they did do something, why didn’t they do enough?

Rehtaeh’s rapists are still out there. They are still in high school, they are still going to parties and they are, quite likely, still raping. Why wouldn’t they? They got away with it once, didn’t they? Rehtaeh’s rapists are still living normal, untroubled lives, and she is dead.

[Alex Laker]

The law here clearly has not protected the victim, even though the damage done to her emotionally is exactly the same as if she had been raped in the eyes of the law. The fact is that rape is not only traumatic in a physical manner, but its emotional effects are profound due to the violation of privacy, consent and sexual intimacy. While this poor girl may have consented to sexual acts with the perpetrators, and perhaps even to being photographed, she did not consent to having those photographs shared. That is a violation of her privacy, consent and sexual intimacy and so in my opinion consititutes a rape. However, because the of how rape is defined in law the perpetrators could not be given a punishment which they in fact deserved by any sane minded person's logic. They have deliberately exploited some of the deepest and most sacred feelings of this poor girl in such a way that made her life unbearable to live. That in my mind, if not tantamount to rape, is arguably worse and the justice system has indeed failed.

[northstar]

Thank you Alex!

There is a strong concern in Nova Scotia that the RCMP investigation may have been swept under the rug for political reasons. It is not logical that a 15 year old girl is raped by 4 men, who then distribute the evidence of their crime on social media, (which is actually distributing child porn!!) and the RCMP claim that they have no way of knowing who distributed the photos??

I'm no police expert but I know that phone records can be looked at and IP addresses traced very easily!!

Something about this very much smells like a cover up!!

Anyone who is inclined can sign their name on the change.org petition to open an official inquiry into this.

Justice for Rehtaeh: Demand an inquiry into the police investigation
https://www.change.org/petitions/justice-for-rehtaeh-demand-an-inquiry-into-the-police-investigation?

[lookbeyond]

This is a parents worst nightmare,i will pray for this deceased girl to find peace, and the family to find solace.I have signed the petition but sadly i do not envisage a satisfactory outcome, there is much injustice in the world, the perpetrators will probably not come to justice in this world or understanding. The best we can do is protest, northstar thanks for bringing this to our attention.

lookbeyond

[northstar]

This is a parents worst nightmare,i will pray for this deceased girl to find peace, and the family to find solace.I have signed the petition but sadly i do not envisage a satisfactory outcome, there is much injustice in the world, the perpetrators will probably not come to justice in this world or understanding. The best we can do is protest, northstar thanks for bringing this to our attention.

lookbeyond

Thank you lookbeyond!

As of a few hours ago the Nova Scotia justice minister publicly announced he may possibly open an inquiry into why the four rapists were given a free pass. Hopefully, Rehtaeh and her family will get some justice. There is no way that the 4 rapists should simply walk free.

[northstar]

This story has hooked me. The fact that this girl was raped by 4 guys and it was photographed and the evidence widely distributed is bad enough but what is really getting to me is that the RCMP (local police) claimed there was not enough evidence to lay charges.

Do they not consider photos of the actual crime being committed enough evidence? This is either incompetent police work or some sort of coverup.

Anyone can help by signing the petition to demand that this be properly investigated by the police instead of being swept under the rug. Here is the petition - it almost has 10 thousand names so far!!
http://www.change.org/petitions/justice-for-rehtaeh-demand-an-inquiry-into-the-police-investigation

Here is a blog posting by Warren Kinsella about this story



An open letter to Anonymous about Rehtaeh Parsons (http://warrenkinsella.com/2013/04/an-open-letter-to-anonymous-about-rehtaeh-parsons/)

Dear Anonymous:

I have never written to you, the global hacktivist group, before. Like everyone else, I have read about your exploits and, more than once, nodded my head with approval. It’s comforting to see citizens periodically bring certain groups to heel, like child pornographers or the Church of Scientology.

I am writing to you today about something else, however.

In Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia, a girl named Rehtaeh Parsons killed herself last week. She was 17 years old. That’s her, up above.

Her name was Heather spelled backwards. Rehtaeh was a straight-A student, she was much-loved by her family and others. She was a good kid.

In November 2011, when she was 15 years old – just a child – she was raped by four males in a basement. One of them photographed her being raped, and then circulated it to many others. They thought it was funny.

Rehtaeh was thereafter harassed and abused and bullied by students at her school. The torment got bad enough that Rehtaeh had to move to another town. Months later, she returned, but the bullying and abuse never stopped. She was sent messages calling her a “****.”

You may ask what happened to the four males who raped her, and who circulated the photograph of Rehtaeh being raped – which, incidentally, meets the definition in Canadian law of child pornography.

Nothing. Nothing happened to them.

The RCMP, who allegedly investigated, are led in Nova Scotia by Alphonse MacNeil. He calls himself a “consensus builder” and has two daughters. I’m sure you could find his email address if you needed to.

The Nova Scotia government, which agreed with – and energetically defended – the RCMP’s decision to do nothing about the rape or the child pornography, is led by NDP leader Darrell Dexter. Interestingly, he represents Cole Harbour in the provincial legislature. His email isn’t readily available, either, but I know you’ll find that, too.

His Attorney-General is Ross Landry. Yesterday, Landry refused to reopen the case; by the afternoon, he had seemingly changed his tune. His constituency office email is here. I don’t know what his email is.

The names of the little bastards who did this, and who are still alive and walk free in Cole Harbour, are unknown to most of us. But, as in the Steubenville, Ohio case, I am certain anyone who is sufficiently motivated can find out who the little bastards are, and name and shame them.

I’m unclear how to appeal to you, Anonymous. But if there was ever a case that cried out for your attention – and if there were ever men like MacNeil, Dexter and Landry who deserved to be fired, or worse, for their pathetic responses – I don’t know what it is. What happened to Rehtaeh and her family is so horrible, so evil, I am ashamed that it happened in my country.

In closing, I should note that Rehtaeh’s heart was sent to Toronto yesterday, to be transplanted into another person. I don’t know why I feel a need to mention that to you, but I do.

Maybe because, in some way, it feels like Rehtaeh is still watching now, to see who will do something, and who will do nothing.

Sincerely,

Warren

[Vitalux]

http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/09/the-justice-system-failed-her-nova-scotia-teenager-commits-suicide-after-being-raped-bullied-mother/

‘The justice system failed her’: Nova Scotia teenager commits suicide after being raped, bullied: mother

I only have one question:
Why are the four males who raped a 15 year old girl and posted the photo to the internet walking free?
Where is the justice in that?

In all fairness, there are often two sides to a story.
My heart definitely does go out to all victims of aggression.
I am not advocating in anyway that this girl was not a victim.
I am just stating that we don't know all the facts and we only have one side of the story.

Regardless, of rather or not those people involved in the rape were brought to justice, I am quite convinced that spiritually we all have to answer for our behavior.
Source (GOD) is Great.

[northstar]

http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/09/the-justice-system-failed-her-nova-scotia-teenager-commits-suicide-after-being-raped-bullied-mother/

‘The justice system failed her’: Nova Scotia teenager commits suicide after being raped, bullied: mother

I only have one question:
Why are the four males who raped a 15 year old girl and posted the photo to the internet walking free?
Where is the justice in that?

In all fairness, there are often two sides to a story.
My heart definitely does go out to all victims of aggression.
I am not advocating in anyway that this girl was not a victim.
I am just stating that we don't know all the facts and we only have one side of the story.

Regardless, of rather or not those people involved in the rape were brought to justice, I am quite convinced that spiritually we all have to answer for our behavior.
Source (GOD) is Great.

Thanks Vitalux.
What you say is very true!

There is quite a bit of information coming out right now regarding the lack of proper police investigation into this crime that gives a more rounded picture. Apparently the mother of the dead girl saw one of the photos of her daughter being raped (one of the photos that was sent to many of the students in the school). One of the 4 rapists was smiling for the camera with the "thumbs up" gesture.

It is heartening that although the police neglected to lay charges for the distribution of child pornography (the girl was 15 when she was raped) there seems to be a lot of public pressure now to get them to do a proper investigation and hopefully lay charges.

Anyone can help bring the rapists to justice by signing the online petition

http://www.change.org/petitions/justice-for-rehtaeh-demand-an-inquiry-into-the-police-investigation

[Vitalux]

Anyone can help bring the rapists to justice by signing the online petition

http://www.change.org/petitions/justice-for-rehtaeh-demand-an-inquiry-into-the-police-investigation

signed :yo:

[Flash]

signed and friends invited to sign too. Just received an e-mail from the mom asking to ask friends to sign to have an inquiry into police work. My bet: one of the rapist is blood related to the local police.

[northstar]

signed and friends invited to sign too. Just received an e-mail from the mom asking to ask friends to sign to have an inquiry into police work. My bet: one of the rapist is blood related to the local police.

I totally agree!
This is either extremely shoddy police work or there is some sort of cover-up.

[conk]

My cousin's 15 year old daughter was raped by two brothers. They played college football and now play in the NFL. They were the sons of a prominent physican in town. The authorities stonewalled and delayed and lied and blah, blah, blah. No indictment. Certainly no justice. The poor child has put it behind her and lives out of state. The pain is still there on some level and will likely come back in form of disease. Emotional trauma indeed creates a state of dis-ease in the energy body that eventually plays out in the physical body.

Prayers for this poor child in Canada, parents and family. So sad and so unnecessary.

[northstar]

My cousin's 15 year old daughter was raped by two brothers. They played college football and now play in the NFL. They were the sons of a prominent physican in town. The authorities stonewalled and delayed and lied and blah, blah, blah. No indictment. Certainly no justice. The poor child has put it behind her and lives out of state. The pain is still there on some level and will likely come back in form of disease. Emotional trauma indeed creates a state of dis-ease in the energy body that eventually plays out in the physical body.

Prayers for this poor child in Canada's parents and family. So sad and so unnecessary.

I totally agree!!

People who do these types of crimes think that there is no victim, but they obviously have no idea of the long term damage they are doing. I hope your cousin's daughter will be OK.
Therapies like EFT are very good at helping people clear and heal deeply embedded emotional trauma.

[selinam]

I have signed the petition - let's hope this despicable situation is given the importance it deserves and the rapists are brought to justic asap

[northstar]

I have signed the petition - let's hope this despicable situation is given the importance it deserves and the rapists are brought to justic asap

I totally agree!
Legal justice for this heinous crime is all that anybody wants!

[northstar]

Apparently, Anonymous has determined the names of 3 of the 4 rapists.
They just sent a public press release to the RCMP demanding justice.


(http://pastebin.com/mwW6HLdv)

Operation Justice For Rehtaeh ---- FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Anonymous engaged #OpJustice4Rataeh this morning in response to the suicide of Rehtaeh Parsons. Justice Minister Ross Landy says that it is important for Nova Scotians to have faith in their justice system. Mr. Landy, justice is in your hands.

Anonymous has confirmed the identities of two of the four alleged rapists. We are currently confirming a third and it is only a matter of time before the fourth is identified as well.

Our demands are simple: We want the N.S. RCMP to take immediate legal action against the individuals in question. We encourage you to act fast. If we were able to locate these boys within 2 hours, it will not be long before someone else finds them.

We do not approve of vigilante justice as the media claims. That would mean we approve of violent actions against these rapists at the hands of an unruly mob. What we want is justice. And That's your job. So do it.

The names of the rapists will be kept until it is apparent you have no intention of providing justice to Retaeh's family. Please be aware that there are other groups of Anons also attempting to uncover this information and they may not to wish to wait at all. Better act fast.

Be aware that we will be organizing large demonstrations outside of your headquarters. The rapists will be held accountable for their actions. You will be held accountable for your failure to act.

That is all


- We Are Anonymous.

The Corrupt Fear Us.
The Honest Support Us.
The Heroic Join Us.
Expect Justice.


Contact: opjustice4rehtaeh@hushmail.com

[Nanoo Nanoo]

I hope that parents can glean some sort of preventative measures for their children.

It is up to them to educate from a very early age how to avoid these situations. Early detection, un safe scenarios and to do it in a way that does not instill fear but rather shows them how to be safe. How to be responsible for them self and their friends. To look out for one another.

My father told me one very important thing when he met my friends growing up. Good stays with good son , be good ! he showed me which ones of my friends he thought were good people , he always insisted on meeting their parents , having them over for dinner or lunch ( my father was very social ) and feeling good about who his son was assiciating with. It made me look at who i associated with and it kept me away from the bad elements that exist.

they never alienated me with austerity , just good education from a very young age. By the time i was a teenager i had a very good idea of who was where and while i never discriminated against those who were in the wrong place .. i made sure i used my scenses to stay clear of potential trouble. And i alwasy kept an eye out for my friends.. male and fe male.

Kids take risks when they do not have enough attention from their parents. It seems these days parents are so fixated on trying to work that its hard to spend good time with their kids. It is true that the daughters when not having enough time with the father will venture to receive male attention. This is a normal reaction to replace the father figure. This can leave them vulnerable and sometimes in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is because the needs of male affection , love , guidance etc is being sought externally.

So Fathers , hear me now , look after your daughters , pay them attention and give them the due care and love they deserve. Be their best buddy , and you will see a girl grow into a woman who is safe as it is our charge to protect our women no matter what.

I am so sorry for these girls who suffered at the hands of cruelty. I hope that we learn , i hope we take responsability one and all from every direction.


Naniu

[northstar]

Kids take risks when they do not have enough attention from their parents. It seems these days parents are so fixated on trying to work that its hard to spend good time with their kids. It is true that the daughters when not having enough time with the father will venture to receive male attention. This is a normal reaction to replace the father figure. This can leave them vulnerable and sometimes in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is because the needs of male affection , love , guidance etc is being sought externally.

So Fathers , hear me now , look after your daughters , pay them attention and give them the due care and love they deserve. Be their best buddy , and you will see a girl grow into a woman who is safe as it is our charge to protect our women no matter what.

I am so sorry for these girls who suffered at the hands of cruelty. I hope that we learn , i hope we take responsability one and all from every direction.


Naniu

This is very true Naniu! Her father appears to have been very loving and attentive.
I agree, it is very sad that she suffered so much.
Her father wrote a post today that brought tears to my eyes:

http://glencanning.com/2013/04/10/rehtaeh-parsons-was-my-daughter/

Rehtaeh Parsons was my daughter

""I had to write something about this. I don’t want her life to defined by a Google search about suicide or death or rape. I want it to be about the giving heart she had. Her smile. Her love of life and the beautiful way in which she lived it.

I found out this afternoon my daughter saved the life of a young woman with her heart. How fitting.

She also gave someone a new liver, a kidney, a new breath, and a new chance to love. She saved the lives of four people with her final gift of life. She was that wonderful.

Someone out there is going to look at the world with my daughter’s eyes. The most beautiful eyes I have ever seen."

[DeDukshyn]

Well Put!     ↓÷↔‗ôÙ¯. <-- Damn "Message too short!" made me do it! ;)


I hope that parents can glean some sort of preventative measures for their children.

It is up to them to educate from a very early age how to avoid these situations. Early detection, un safe scenarios and to do it in a way that does not instill fear but rather shows them how to be safe. How to be responsible for them self and their friends. To look out for one another.

My father told me one very important thing when he met my friends growing up. Good stays with good son , be good ! he showed me which ones of my friends he thought were good people , he always insisted on meeting their parents , having them over for dinner or lunch ( my father was very social ) and feeling good about who his son was assiciating with. It made me look at who i associated with and it kept me away from the bad elements that exist.

they never alienated me with austerity , just good education from a very young age. By the time i was a teenager i had a very good idea of who was where and while i never discriminated against those who were in the wrong place .. i made sure i used my scenses to stay clear of potential trouble. And i alwasy kept an eye out for my friends.. male and fe male.

Kids take risks when they do not have enough attention from their parents. It seems these days parents are so fixated on trying to work that its hard to spend good time with their kids. It is true that the daughters when not having enough time with the father will venture to receive male attention. This is a normal reaction to replace the father figure. This can leave them vulnerable and sometimes in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is because the needs of male affection , love , guidance etc is being sought externally.

So Fathers , hear me now , look after your daughters , pay them attention and give them the due care and love they deserve. Be their best buddy , and you will see a girl grow into a woman who is safe as it is our charge to protect our women no matter what.

I am so sorry for these girls who suffered at the hands of cruelty. I hope that we learn , i hope we take responsability one and all from every direction.


Naniu

[Flash]

The father's not brought tears to my eyes.

Nanoo you are right, however, a parent can go just "that" far. You may give the best to your kid, all the advice, but life brings its burden and is never perfect so they still may end up where they should not be, at the wrong time, at a friend, with little punks around.

I did have a semester with late teenagers, and I would not have left my daughter with neither of them, none of them. You may raise yours to be prudent, but other parents do not raise their son to be respectful of women, or to stop being addicted to porn sites (virual and real porn). The message in these sites is extremely clear. Hurting women does not matter. Society has something to do with it. Do you think that porn sites will stop as long as we have males in rut looking at them and running this society. Do you think that pedophile rinks will stop as long as we have pedophile at the top of our societies? My question are rhetorica, no need to answer.

[northstar]

You may raise yours to be prudent, but other parents do not raise their son to be respectful of women, or to stop being addicted to porn sites (virual and real porn). The message in these sites is extremely clear. Hurting women does not matter. Society has something to do with it. Do you think that porn sites will stop as long as we have males in rut looking at them and running this society. Do you think that pedophile rinks will stop as long as we have pedophile at the top of our societies? My question are rhetorica, no need to answer.


It made me cry too!
He appears to be a very loving and attentive father.

There is a great deal of truth in what you wrote here!!

[tnkayaker]

what a load of crap

[Flash]

what a load of crap

Can you be more descriptive in the "load of crap"? What is a load of crap, the suicide, the rapes, what I wrote?

If not, if you can't describe what you meant, I would say what a bully here and now. So please, explain.

[ThePythonicCow]

what a load of crap


Can you be more descriptive in the "load of crap"? What is a load of crap, the suicide, the rapes, what I wrote?

You can tell from the "Parent Post" link (in light grey font, bottom right of each post) that tnkayaker was responding to the second post in this thread, not to something you wrote.

My guess is that he's appalled at the way this Nova Scotian teenager was treated.

[Nanoo Nanoo]

The father's not brought tears to my eyes.

Nanoo you are right, however, a parent can go just "that" far. You may give the best to your kid, all the advice, but life brings its burden and is never perfect so they still may end up where they should not be, at the wrong time, at a friend, with little punks around.

I did have a semester with late teenagers, and I would not have left my daughter with neither of them, none of them. You may raise yours to be prudent, but other parents do not raise their son to be respectful of women, or to stop being addicted to porn sites (virual and real porn). The message in these sites is extremely clear. Hurting women does not matter. Society has something to do with it. Do you think that porn sites will stop as long as we have males in rut looking at them and running this society. Do you think that pedophile rinks will stop as long as we have pedophile at the top of our societies? My question are rhetorica, no need to answer.

I dont know enough about the circumstances to really comment any more , the fatgher certainly seemed to be truly loving. If i may how did she get into this situation ? was she kidnapped ?

All i can say is those boys are very lucky to be in one piece. I dont know what i would do if it were me ... actually i do know.

[northstar]

what a load of crap

The issue of sexual violence can trigger a lot of wounds and "stuff" in a lot of people tnkayaker.

Understanding develops with open discussion and all opinions are valid in the light of day. By this I mean that the good, the bad and the ugly or whatever is all just "stuff" for us to work with mindfully as it arises, and working with stuff mindfully in a community like this is a good thing.

What are your thoughts?

[william r sanford72]

touch my daughters and logic and light would be hard pressed to find itself a home in me...i cant believe how onesided things are for a female in this day and age of progress and this thread breaks my heart. i am blessed with 3 very wise and very tolerant females. who dont seem to mind my ignorance. they are great teachers. and i love them very much.this has reminded me of what a truly blessed life i have.thank you.

[northstar]

If i may how did she get into this situation ? was she kidnapped ?




I'm very glad you asked that, because it is what many people in their hearts are asking my friend. It is what many people are thinking, but perhaps too polite to speak so I am glad you brought it up. I am responding to your post but I am speaking to everyone who reads this.

When women are subjected to sexual violence for many people the first response is:

- she brought it on herself somehow
- she was a party girl and she asked for it
- her behavior was an unspoken invitation to the men
- she wore suggestive clothing
- her parents were not loving or attentive enough
- she had bad parents
- she was a "woman of loose morals" (I wont use the word that is commonly applied to females)
- she was low class and trashy
- she did drugs and drank so you know what that means
- she was stupid to put herself in that situation
- she had tattoos which means she is a "woman of loose morals"
- obviously she wanted it
- etc.
- etc.
- etc.

When girls and women are raped, there is often something extremely primal about these situations that immediately brings up extreme negative reactions towards the victim. For example, look at Muslim countries where getting raped is often a death sentence for women.

And when women are raped, and subsequently shunned and publicly humiliated (and worse) the men who did the raping sometimes seem to get a free pass. The four rapists in this story certainly did. It was the girl who had to bear the public torture for months and when it got to much for her to bear, she did the only thing she could, which was kill herself to stop the pain.

Since this is an enlightened community I am asking those who are reading this to look within, into your heart, into your shadow and examine these gut reactions.

Did she ask for it?
Was it her fault?

I am not trying to stir anything up here. I'm just curious where we can possibly takes this discussion. I really believe that bringing dark stuff into the light of day can be very healing and transformative. And if there is anything that is deeply entrenched in personal and collective shadow in our world, it is sexual violence.

Love to all.

[Flash]

I have been with late teenagers for almost a year and I would not have left any girl alone with them. And yes, they were more or less today's actual teenagers (18-20 years old), meaning often on drugs, no education whatsoever about women, adepts at porn videos, gross language, very rude with girls their age.

I would tell them that I would never leave my daughter with them and tell them precisely why. I had to tell the girls their age that they did not have to stand their ruthless behavior and should be living in a world where it is not necessary to fight for one's place all day long because of bullies. The girl would come to a point where they also would become violent in their words and push the guys around.

Today's world is a tough world for teenagers. And even with good parents, the influences of friends, videos, drugs, name it, make this time and age almost unbearable for young girls. What should they do, like Afghan women, hide in a house or under formless clothes? All this because boys/men have not learned to control their libido? Something is wrong. Something has to be done. You have to be quite old to know that there were much better times to live in for sane relationships and friendships. Even parents do not remember how it was and how it could be.

[Nanoo Nanoo]

Ok so does anybvody know how she got into that situation ? this is the key learning point.

In order to learn from this we do need to take a responsibility for the actions that lead to this situation. The world is not consequence free. Its not even a matter of blame but rather education.

SO if anybody know s the circumstances it may help us to learn something from it.

N

[northstar]

Ok so does anybvody know how she got into that situation ? this is the key learning point.



Thank you Nanoo Nanoo.

Why are we asking how she got into that situation?
Why is asking how she got into that situation the key learning point?

[Flash]

“The person Rehtaeh once was all changed one dreaded night in November 2011. She went with a friend to another’s home. In that home she was raped by four young boys . . . one of those boys took a photo of her being raped and decided it would be fun to distribute the photo to everyone in Rehtaeh’s school and community where it quickly went viral,” Leah Parsons wrote. “Because the boys already had a ‘****’ story, the victim of the rape Rehtaeh was considered a ****.

“This day changed the lives of our family forever.”

Here it is how it started, like millions of teenagers going to friends homes.

[northstar]

touch my daughters and logic and light would be hard pressed to find itself a home in me...i cant believe how onesided things are for a female in this day and age of progress and this thread breaks my heart. i am blessed with 3 very wise and very tolerant females. who dont seem to mind my ignorance. they are great teachers. and i love them very much.this has reminded me of what a truly blessed life i have.thank you.

How lucky your daughters are to have a dad like you! :)

[Nanoo Nanoo]

Ok so does anybvody know how she got into that situation ? this is the key learning point.



Thank you Nanoo Nanoo.

Why are we asking how she got into that situation?
Why is asking how she got into that situation the key learning point?

SO that people can understand the consequences of going to a strangers house maybe if that was the case. Please dont assume i wish to shift blame , if you are not fine, however people get into situations as this is the case , early warning signs are piognant ways to learn. If there was something that stood out then we would have something to pass on.

I am curious , what happened to her friend ? was it one of the boys ?

N

[northstar]

“The person Rehtaeh once was all changed one dreaded night in November 2011. She went with a friend to another’s home. In that home she was raped by four young boys . . . one of those boys took a photo of her being raped and decided it would be fun to distribute the photo to everyone in Rehtaeh’s school and community where it quickly went viral,” Leah Parsons wrote. “Because the boys already had a ‘****’ story, the victim of the rape Rehtaeh was considered a ****.

“This day changed the lives of our family forever.”

Here it is how it started, like millions of teenagers going to friends homes.

Thank you, that is correct!
She went with a friend to another friend's home. This is something that all teenagers do.

Personally I am very troubled by responses to this story questioning the background, morals and character of the girl who was raped. In my opinion, instead of asking questions about her, perhaps we need to ask those questions about the four rapists.

[Nanoo Nanoo]

I think you are projecting , can you point out where anybody questions the morals of this girl ?

I wanted to know the circumstances that lead her into this situation for us to learn something from that. I think after a history of over 10,000 years of rape it is suffice to say that people who commit these crimes have no consideration for their victim. It is perhaps time to look at learning ways to avoid these situations as a preventative measure. These 4 boys wont be brought to justice dicussing it here ..personally i know what i would do but thats not the point of this discussion for me.

If i were a woman i would learn preventative means , early warning signs , and ways to stay clear of possibly dangerous scenarios. I would also learn self defence and i would most definitely carry a weapon and be ready and willing to use it. To be honest this is exactly how i live as a man. In peace and with good intent to my brothers and sisters , but if i am met with a situation i will do what it takes to survive it.

If you do not wish to help with this information then theres nothing more i can do to to help.

I will pray for the souls of these girls and as usual be vigilant in protecting my fellow man.

Love

Naniu

[music]

Update:
It only took two hours for the vigilante hacker group to show the world just how useless the RCMP (Who led the investigation) are. Rehtaeh's story stirred the so-called "Internet Hate Machine" into action, but it didn't take any kind of hacking to get down to the bones of the case and build the prosecution that the RCMP bungled in a show of failure and incompetence that would make the Three Stooges shake their heads in embarrassment. Once Anonymous made their rage and intent clear, they were flooded with witness testimony, and from there built the case of the RCMP’s incompetence on three points: that dozens of teens and adults had heard the rapists brag about taking part in the gang rape, that the photo taken of the rape was reportedly so widely circulated it's unlikely the authorities ever bothered to try and find it so they might look at the EXIF data, and that Parsons's school did nothing, despite the fact that child pornography was going viral in their hallways.

Full story here (http://www.policymic.com/articles/34491/rehtaeh-parsons-rape-case-solved-by-anonymous-in-less-than-2-hours-despite-no-evidence)

[lookbeyond]

Update:
It only took two hours for the vigilante hacker group to show the world just how useless the RCMP (Who led the investigation) are. Rehtaeh's story stirred the so-called "Internet Hate Machine" into action, but it didn't take any kind of hacking to get down to the bones of the case and build the prosecution that the RCMP bungled in a show of failure and incompetence that would make the Three Stooges shake their heads in embarrassment. Once Anonymous made their rage and intent clear, they were flooded with witness testimony, and from there built the case of the RCMP’s incompetence on three points: that dozens of teens and adults had heard the rapists brag about taking part in the gang rape, that the photo taken of the rape was reportedly so widely circulated it's unlikely the authorities ever bothered to try and find it so they might look at the EXIF data, and that Parsons's school did nothing, despite the fact that child pornography was going viral in their hallways.

Full story here (http://www.policymic.com/articles/34491/rehtaeh-parsons-rape-case-solved-by-anonymous-in-less-than-2-hours-despite-no-evidence)



May justice be done

[Nanoo Nanoo]

Update:
It only took two hours for the vigilante hacker group to show the world just how useless the RCMP (Who led the investigation) are. Rehtaeh's story stirred the so-called "Internet Hate Machine" into action, but it didn't take any kind of hacking to get down to the bones of the case and build the prosecution that the RCMP bungled in a show of failure and incompetence that would make the Three Stooges shake their heads in embarrassment. Once Anonymous made their rage and intent clear, they were flooded with witness testimony, and from there built the case of the RCMP’s incompetence on three points: that dozens of teens and adults had heard the rapists brag about taking part in the gang rape, that the photo taken of the rape was reportedly so widely circulated it's unlikely the authorities ever bothered to try and find it so they might look at the EXIF data, and that Parsons's school did nothing, despite the fact that child pornography was going viral in their hallways.

Full story here (http://www.policymic.com/articles/34491/rehtaeh-parsons-rape-case-solved-by-anonymous-in-less-than-2-hours-despite-no-evidence)



May justice be done

That is disgraceful. What is the world coming to ... hmmm

I hope justice is done as well

Naniu

[Flash]

I think you are projecting , can you point out where anybody questions the morals of this girl ?

I wanted to know the circumstances that lead her into this situation for us to learn something from that. I think after a history of over 10,000 years of rape it is suffice to say that people who commit these crimes have no consideration for their victim. It is perhaps time to look at learning ways to avoid these situations as a preventative measure. These 4 boys wont be brought to justice dicussing it here ..personally i know what i would do but thats not the point of this discussion for me.

If i were a woman i would learn preventative means , early warning signs , and ways to stay clear of possibly dangerous scenarios. I would also learn self defence and i would most definitely carry a weapon and be ready and willing to use it. To be honest this is exactly how i live as a man. In peace and with good intent to my brothers and sisters , but if i am met with a situation i will do what it takes to survive it.

If you do not wish to help with this information then theres nothing more i can do to to help.

I will pray for the souls of these girls and as usual be vigilant in protecting my fellow man.

Love

Naniu

Nanoo, you seem not to have any teenager at home, or even been near those of todays. Your answers about preventative measures are ludicrous. THERE IS NOOOOO WARNING SIGNS about friends of friends unless you are getting to be completely paranoi.

If teenager were raised to look at all WARNING SIGNS they would be raised completely paranoi. As for self defence, no women makes it when fighting with a men because of nature's muscular strenght imparted to the average women.

Nanoo, you are showing us how the thinking about women and constant blaming put on women shoulders is showing up in society.

You definitely do not have a teenager in a town anywhere in America. Your comments do not make sense in this context, unless you hate women, are raised in a profoundly anti-woman society, are sexist or something on that line of behavior.

"these girls" as you say do need men who are raised to respect them, not prayers. "be vigilant in protecting my fello man" after having said "these girls" shows how you think of men and women.

Frankly, all your proposals are unrealistic anyhow. Adding up mysoginie does not help either.

JUst please admit that YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND what being a woman / girl is, since you are not one, an just listen to their plea and believe it in order to help.

We have had thousands of years of male patronizing, when not plainly taking power over us, and this has to stop. You are actually patronizing Nanoo, not listening, not using your heart.

[Vitalux]

I am glad that this post came along.
I was going to share this story a few days ago, but thought that it might be a bit too disturbing for Avalon.
I respect that all members of Avalon are peaceful loving spirits and essentially only wish love towards all aspects of life.

However I am sharing a true story about the gang rape of a young girl whom I know.

During the 1970's my older brother dated a very attractive girl and that girl had a sister named Margret.
Margret was your typical teenager and for the most part appeared quite normal. I did not see any abnormality in her.
Compared to her sister, she by some standards was not as gifted with the same pretty looks as her older sister, however her sister was above average for attractiveness.

They had originally moved to a small farming community just outside a larger city. That small community was your typical closed community, in that they did not often welcome newcomers with open arms.
I too was aware of this small town mentality because I too at the age of 14 had moved into this community as well from a major city. I was most fortunate back at that time because I was blessed with being tall, well built, quite attractive, cool, and most of all, I enjoyed beating on anyone's head that bothered me. So at least in that community I was not picked on and was welcomed in most, if not all, groups.

The first nickname that Margret picked up while attending school was maggot. Once she was given this name, she could not seem to lose it and other kids, often singled her out and teased her.
There was a few times that I use to step in and defend Margret when people would pick on her or call her maggot.
I know of at least 3 occasions where I scolded people for calling her that name. The problem is, it was the girls that called her that name, and a side from me defending her verbally, there was not much else I could do.

Fast forward a few years.

When Margret was around 17 years old some of the girls invited her to a party. Margret was happy and feeling good that the girls were perhaps finally accepting her and including her as part of the group ( or gang).
The girls invited Margret to first go over to one of the girl homes where some of the other girls joined up and they helped Margret put on make up and dressed her ups so she looked really attractive.
Next the whole crew of girls went to the party.
The party was at a guys home, where of course there was booze and drugs.

What makes this case rather different was Margret was set up for a rape.

When the girls arrived they pushed Margret into a bedroom that had 6 young males waiting for Margret.
Margret cloths were torn off, she was held down and raped by each of the 6 males.
Further to this, there were other males at the party that ventured into the bedroom and joined in as well.
All and all it was figured that Margret was raped by at least 9 males.

None of the males at the party were ever charged or brought to justice.
Why the police were not involved I do not know.
I only was told of the event after the fact.
I know the story was true, due to having been told the story both by Margret, and others that had attended this party.

Margret's life past that point is just one long series of struggles until eventually she committed suicide back in the early 90's.

I am so happy that the internet community picked up on the OP's story and this sort of behavior is coming out of the closet.
Date rapes, and party rapes do happen.

What is sad, is that I know of at least 2 other times in my life where girls were raped at parties.

I have no solutions as to how to stop these acts from happening, only that I know they do, and in all the cases I have seen, the girls did not know that they were going to be raped. In all cases, the people that raped them, already had it planned.

No justice ever resulted on the girls behalf.


**edit**

Part of the reason I posted the above story was to demonstrate that this is no easy problem to solve.

In the above instance of rape, the girls own piers were involved.
This was a case where girls set up one of their own friends to be gang raped, knowing full well that this was going to have a terrible toll on this girls life!
Furthermore, Margret did nothing to warrant any thing like this. By all standards she was normal and she would not stand out in a crowd, nor was she of ill character.

What on Earth would cause girls to do that to one of their own?:confused:

[Lifebringer]

You think they are still living normal untroubled lives?

I think not. What they put out there will come back to haunt them through their environment of feeling prey and vulnerable, or karmetic return to them or their families. It's why it's so important, not to send that heartless, and violent stupid vibe of conquerization and proving the girl is a **** in their own mind because they can't hold alcohol and are at a party drunk. Their sisters attend parties, their aunts, mothers and friends attend parties. Experience is always the best teacher when "injustice and harm to others" has occurred.

I wouldn't want to be in their shoes, lives or dreams, if I was them. Sadly the girl was so hurt, even on life support, she didn't want to come back.

Would you. I had 3 rapes in my life. It's a very hard struggle to put it behind you, and I thank God for children who still can bring me joy.

[Lifebringer]

I am glad the environmental aspect of what encourages this behavior has come up. I used to always dress in the latest fashion or simply create my own clothing on occasion. When I followed the "hot pants era" of the early 70's, I learned that to show what a bold soul sistah was created with, was a statement of independence. Brains, beauty and body. This was in my late teens. As I entered my early 20's rape 1, an argument with a boyfriend, stalking off, and ego cussing him out until he left me at the bus stop at 1 am.
Knocked unconscious and woke up in alley without undergarments.
rape 2 went to club w/ a sister and sister-in-law after staying a hermit for 2yrs avoiding social dancing and activities. All 3 of us went to a guy at the clubs caddie to smoke a joint, the guy happened to be a just released rapist with a father with a car lot.(police stated this) they thought he'd use a car that was about to be picked up by a buyer to attract women, and then rape them sell the car, and be free until the next sale. He locked me in the car when they went to get wrapping papers at the corner store and he drove off with a gun pointed at me.
rape 3 Emotional mess using drugs to self medicate instead of reliving the nightmare. Became severely addicted to free base cocaine, and used my home as a bagging safehouse for the drugs. This is how banged up in the head I was. Cocaine makes you feel confident with ego protecting you by using every dirty trick int he book. The monkey becomes a Gorilla that bangs on your pocket until you are broke. I went out to cop, got gang banged. Game over, no more social outings. This cancer stays home and very rarely attends family house parties, just because one of the songs from those days, may trigger the pain of helplessness. I dress in mostly baggy men's camouflage clothing and shirts, so as not to attract. Tie my hair in scarves and keep moving.

Can't stop man from being a beast, that ego can control, when they are determined to prove themselves in bravado under alcoholic or drug induced states.

Best to go with a crowd of at least 4 girls with tasers or sharp pencils in a hair do.

[Samsara]

It would be a very sad thing if this thread became a man vs woman conversation. Although statistically rape happens to mostly women, let us not forget that men are raped also.

I too have been raped three times, all before my sweet sixteen. Three times’ a charm they say. The first time I was 12 and was raped by my best friend’s uncle. I was invited to a family gathering for Christmas and all of my friend’s family were there: mother, sister, grandmother, uncle, aunts, and cousins. It was a very safe surrounding. For a reason which escapes me, we were allowed to drink beer. The uncle was pouring vodka in my beer and I thought it was really funny. Needless to say, I got very sick, very quickly and I was put to bed with my vomit bucket in a room upstairs. When I woke up, the uncle was on top of me and it was hurting, I was a virgin after all. He stopped when his fiancé barged in the room. I wonder why...?? My friend’s mother yelled at me that night telling me to keep my mouth shut about the whole thing. Given my family’s past, I felt guilty, made excuses for the uncle, and kept my mouth shut. Second rape happened when I was 14, by two boys I thought were friends. The third one I was 15, by multiple offenders. After the third one, I vowed that I would never be raped again, or else I would die or kill someone.

I took a self-defense class, designed especially for women – wen-doe it was called. It was helpful as it gave me confidence and tricks. Those tricks I passed on to my daughter, who has never had to experience such an ordeal. When she and her girlfriends went out, I made sure to remind them to never, NEVER, leave one of them behind thinking they would be ok. They also knew that they could call me at any time if they needed me and I would be there, without judgment.

I always wore the clothes that I wanted and I walk with my head up. Rape has nothing to do with looks, just look up how some 90 year old woman got raped by her nephew. You can be in the safest place in the world and still get raped... just ask many kids how daddy showed them this truth.

Yes, in this world, it is not safe for a woman (or a man for that matter) to walk the streets alone at night. A very sad thing indeed…

As for the four boys who abused Rehtaeh? I would not want to be in their shoes either! They are probably s.itting in their pants right now, and that’s a good thing.

We have to look out for each other.

[Vitalux]

I thank those women who were courageous enough to tell their story.
I would have never thought that rape was such a prevalent event for so many women.
Two of the closest women in my life, were raped was well.
My wife was raped, but even after 25 years of marriage she still refuses to talk about the incident(s) that happened in her youth.

The other woman, my best friend and soul mate, was raped while she walked home from work. It happened right on the street on a boulevard just 500 ft from her house.
The man that did it, only received 3 years in jail. By the time the trial was over he had only 9 months to serve due to pretrial custody being worth 2 for 1 of time served.

I have a suspicion that my daughter, who is now an adult was raped as well. However she refuses to talk about it.


This is the first time in the history, as far as I know it, that I have witnessed members coming forward and sharing their personal story.
Once again, I commend these girls and can only convey my heartfelt sorrow for the turmoil this attack from another human caused.
All I can tell you is that most of the men out there are not monsters.
Shame that monsters can make the whole male gender look so bad.

Much love

Vitalux

[northstar]

I am in tears after reading the stories shared here.
I am in awe at the courage of those sharing the stories.
I have immense appreciation for your honesty.
I felt every word vibrate with truth and heart energy.
You have my respect and gratitude.
May you be blessed with peace, joy, loving connection and vibrant health and may your fondest dreams manifest abundantly.


Regarding rape:
I know that there is an evil and a darkness the likes of which most good souls cannot fathom.
This darkness is what compels males to rape.
This darkness is what compels females to enable rapes and sexual abuse.
This darkness is what compels males to take and distribute "trophy photos" of their crimes.
This darkness is what compels females to harass rape victims to the point of suicide.
This darkness is what compels females to allow male predators to sexually abuse their children.
This darkness is what compels males and females to socially "murder" rape victims by shunning and shaming them.

Can those who harden their hearts and allow this darkness to possess their minds and their actions be fully human?

I agree with those who say this must not become a "male vs. female" issue. This is a human issue. But if this is truly a human issue, what are we going to do about it?

[lookbeyond]

I feel that while the darkness exists, so will the crimes that are associated with it- sadly

[Nanoo Nanoo]

I think you are projecting , can you point out where anybody questions the morals of this girl ?

I wanted to know the circumstances that lead her into this situation for us to learn something from that. I think after a history of over 10,000 years of rape it is suffice to say that people who commit these crimes have no consideration for their victim. It is perhaps time to look at learning ways to avoid these situations as a preventative measure. These 4 boys wont be brought to justice dicussing it here ..personally i know what i would do but thats not the point of this discussion for me.

If i were a woman i would learn preventative means , early warning signs , and ways to stay clear of possibly dangerous scenarios. I would also learn self defence and i would most definitely carry a weapon and be ready and willing to use it. To be honest this is exactly how i live as a man. In peace and with good intent to my brothers and sisters , but if i am met with a situation i will do what it takes to survive it.

If you do not wish to help with this information then theres nothing more i can do to to help.

I will pray for the souls of these girls and as usual be vigilant in protecting my fellow man.

Love

Naniu

Nanoo, you seem not to have any teenager at home, or even been near those of todays. Your answers about preventative measures are ludicrous. THERE IS NOOOOO WARNING SIGNS about friends of friends unless you are getting to be completely paranoi.

If teenager were raised to look at all WARNING SIGNS they would be raised completely paranoi. As for self defence, no women makes it when fighting with a men because of nature's muscular strenght imparted to the average women.

Nanoo, you are showing us how the thinking about women and constant blaming put on women shoulders is showing up in society.

You definitely do not have a teenager in a town anywhere in America. Your comments do not make sense in this context, unless you hate women, are raised in a profoundly anti-woman society, are sexist or something on that line of behavior.

"these girls" as you say do need men who are raised to respect them, not prayers. "be vigilant in protecting my fello man" after having said "these girls" shows how you think of men and women.

Frankly, all your proposals are unrealistic anyhow. Adding up mysoginie does not help either.

JUst please admit that YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND what being a woman / girl is, since you are not one, an just listen to their plea and believe it in order to help.

We have had thousands of years of male patronizing, when not plainly taking power over us, and this has to stop. You are actually patronizing Nanoo, not listening, not using your heart.

there are a hundred things i could say , but ill leave it at this , im sorry you missed my point, i can see you are upset. I dont like being the cause of this but i realise i am not. Man , is a non gender specific term used to describe the inhabitants of this planet. Its not me being sexist or biased.

I have more experience with kids up to teenagers than you and most people here put together. SO i think that being Informed and vigilant , not paranoind mind you , is empowering the individual by making real time choices based on learning and then experience. I do have many years of experience in teaching capacity and councelling capacity for people who have suffered this and worse. this is just an fyi as assumptions usually lead you to incorrect conclusions.

I am on our side ok : 0 )

N

[Samsara]

I would like to say to Nanoo that I have not read anything demeaning to women in your posts. Maybe I’m just biased because I love you. I know deep down in my heart that you’re a good-hearted little ant. I actually agree; we need to know and understand in which situations a rape may occur and take preventive measures about it. That was a big part of what I learned in the wen-do class. It does not address the deep reasoning (or lack-of) behind rape however, but it can keep you safe. It did make me untrusting of men in general however. This is unfortunately one of the things I’ve learned from the rapes.

I do not think of myself as being courageous in talking about it. I am quite detached from these experiences actually. It was not always like this though. I have suffered a lot and gone through many healing processes to transmute the pain and unlearn certain things. Every time I think I’m done with it (all healed!) a new layer of the “onion” comes up. It’s all good though, as I now know that I chose to come in this life in a very dense environment so that I could transcend it all. If I was coming back to this place, might as well make it interesting....urgh!

As far as the darkness, the list could go on and on and on. No need for me to point it out, as we all can see the darkness in many areas of this world and if we look very closely, we will find this same darkness inside ourselves. What can I do about it? The only thing I have found that I am able to do is to shine so bright, that the darkness has no place to hide. In day to day, I will denounce very loudly any injustice I come across. I may be a very quiet and discreet woman, but I will furiously protect anyone being hurt before my eyes. I have taught my daughter and many of her girlfriends how to stay safe, and to think for themselves. I now have a grandson and I will teach him the same.

I would not want to be a teenager in this world. The peer-pressure is so strong when you do not know who you are. It is the parents’ job to teach their children, but when the parents are lacking themselves, what can they teach? I do not have any answers on how to stop this curse. I just know that we have to look out for each other. What I am seeing with the cases of Rehtaeh Parsons, Audrie Pott, and others, is that there seems to be uproar of “We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take this anymore!” That again, is a good thing.

[Flash]

If you have more experience with kids than all of us combined, please show it in your words.

You know, as black will feel it instantly when there is racism around, no need to speak, no need to even think, if it is present, a black person will feel it, the same is true for woman. Automatically when there is discrimination around of just plain old machism, or more subtle, patronizing, because of being a woman, women feel it immediately, there is no mistake. At a young age, we don't understand the weird feeling and discomfort around it, at a later age we understand very well.

All your texts were geared around the girl and girls, what they should or should not have done, how they should have been raised, the way they should have thought. I insist on the "should" because these are control and programation words in NLP programming for example, they are imposed from the outside world and integrated in ones thinking.

Furthermore, why what the guys "should" do was never really mentioned?

That you want is or not Nanoo, this attitude is one of patronizing that will be recognized anywhere in the world from grown up women.

As long as you have this attitude, when you work with girls, you will have real difficulties in understanding, even if you are not aware of it, and won't be that efficient. A girl you work with would go back at night feeling like you were nice and lovable, but did not get it, she will feel alone and get into despair of ever being understood.

I know you will reject my text here, because it contradicts years of unconscious biases and skewed education towards women and it is very difficult to awake from it - I have been raised in that patronalistic environment, my whole culture was when growing up (catholic and small town mentality), I know how it is, and I know men in these biaises do not mean bad. However, they do not do good.

This is an invitation Nanoo, an invitation to look at the world and at women with an other pair of eyes and awake to another reality.

--------------------

I am truly touched by the personal stories I read, truly. I am always aware of these moments that can change a life forever when thinking of my 16 years old. I may raise her to be aware of dangers (she is almost paranoi and this is not good for her either), dangers are still there and some are unexpected.

The statistic say that one women out of 3 has been raped in her life, personally I think it is one out of 2, and the remaining has been attacked with other means, such as beaten up, at least once in their life.

This is without all the rest such as being passed over for promotions, not believed when talking, not being able to have her point past across in meetings dominated by males, etc etc.

I can tell you that I have been passed over for promotions (the thick glass ceiling is very thick, for blacks and women), toss aside when giving my ideas that were brought back (stolen) by male a week later, etc.

I also once have been so beaten up that I ended up in hospital, a miracle I was not killed. It took almost a year before I recuperated physically and never emotionally. (i just wanted to brake up from him, guess why?)

I have been followed on the street, harassed, etc.

When I knew I was going to have a daughter, I was sad, this is terrible to say, I was happy filled with love already and sad because I knew the world would be much more difficult for her than if she was a boy.

At 8, when she believed the frog could be changed into a charming prince, I told her (I could not resist) that a frog is a frog and will always remain a frog, that story is wrong. I could not believe myself, cutting off my daughter's dream in her capacity to help others transform.

And I am one of those who had a good hearted dad, I did not start with a bad image of men, can you imagine how bad it is out there for sensitive and intelligent girls?

[Samsara]

SO if anybody know s the circumstances it may help us to learn something from it.

N

She went to a party and got drunk. That's all there is to it. Something most kids do at least once in their life. What made the four boys think her being drunk was a good reason to rape her, that is another question.

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/terri-coles/rehtaeh-parsons-consent_b_3049312.html?utm_hp_ref=tw

[Nanoo Nanoo]

I would like to say to Nanoo that I have not read anything demeaning to women in your posts. Maybe I’m just biased because I love you. I know deep down in my heart that you’re a good-hearted little ant. I actually agree; we need to know and understand in which situations a rape may occur and take preventive measures about it. That was a big part of what I learned in the wen-do class. It does not address the deep reasoning (or lack-of) behind rape however, but it can keep you safe. It did make me untrusting of men in general however. This is unfortunately one of the things I’ve learned from the rapes.

I do not think of myself as being courageous in talking about it. I am quite detached from these experiences actually. It was not always like this though. I have suffered a lot and gone through many healing processes to transmute the pain and unlearn certain things. Every time I think I’m done with it (all healed!) a new layer of the “onion” comes up. It’s all good though, as I now know that I chose to come in this life in a very dense environment so that I could transcend it all. If I was coming back to this place, might as well make it interesting....urgh!

As far as the darkness, the list could go on and on and on. No need for me to point it out, as we all can see the darkness in many areas of this world and if we look very closely, we will find this same darkness inside ourselves. What can I do about it? The only thing I have found that I am able to do is to shine so bright, that the darkness has no place to hide. In day to day, I will denounce very loudly any injustice I come across. I may be a very quiet and discreet woman, but I will furiously protect anyone being hurt before my eyes. I have taught my daughter and many of her girlfriends how to stay safe, and to think for themselves. I now have a grandson and I will teach him the same.

I would not want to be a teenager in this world. The peer-pressure is so strong when you do not know who you are. It is the parents’ job to teach their children, but when the parents are lacking themselves, what can they teach? I do not have any answers on how to stop this curse. I just know that we have to look out for each other. What I am seeing with the cases of Rehtaeh Parsons, Audrie Pott, and others, is that there seems to be uproar of “We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take this anymore!” That again, is a good thing.

Thank you Samsara ( i have always loved that name :0)

There are many ways to help in these cases. I guess i took the education stance in this instance. I get the feeling my intentions have been misunderstood with assumption. Perhaps these assumptions are based on pain that is still manifest in ones outlook.


Thank you for your kind message and i love you too :0 ) with all my little ant heart !

Naniu

[Realeyes]

I have just finished reading page 1 of this thread - this news has made me cry.

The suffering and injustice happening on this planet right now is horrendous and breaks my heart and hurts deep within my Soul.

I have just signed the petition - the count was 67,675 and growing.....

[Nanoo Nanoo]

SO if anybody know s the circumstances it may help us to learn something from it.

N

She went to a party and got drunk. That's all there is to it. Something most kids do at least once in their life. What made the four boys think her being drunk was a good reason to rape her, that is another question.

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/terri-coles/rehtaeh-parsons-consent_b_3049312.html?utm_hp_ref=tw

There is never an excuse to treat a human being in this manner.

The problem of sexual abuse is something that has plagued me since i can remember. There are at least 3 of my ex partners that were sexually abused in the past and it takes a terrible toll on their entire being, and they honoured me by talking with me for the first time in each case. All i could do was listen. Even if i had something to say it would never have been enough. Because of this , because of the intense distain i had for predators like those 4 boys i dedicated my life to teaching women and children to defend them selves. I trained for 4 years with a company as an intern to become a senior martial arts instructor. This was a way of life as i trained and taught up to 38 hours a week.

During this time i studied child psychology and spoke to many victims , both male and female of sexual and mental abuses. People usually trust their Instructor and feel comfortable discussing things with them as they KNOW they wont be judged. I got my senior sensei position and built my region to 500 students training with me every week within 9 months. In my classes i dedicated 1 hour before class and one hour after class to a sitting room where students could come and chat. I also volunteered time during the day for students to come and chat to me at my office.

I took it upon my self to interview Sex offenders in prison to understand what they looked for in a victim so i could train my students on what to look out for, it was not a plesant scene. I formulated Early warning signs and lists of how to avoid potential danger and to enjoy life with confidense. I firmly believe that with correct education people can feel less paranoid just by being aware of their enviroment. And you know something ? it worked. I received at least 5 letters a week from students and parents thanking me for my dedication and methods of teaching. I held seminars for parents to met with me to understand how to give children direction without putting them off side. I formulated a method to increase concentration and memory retention for children with ADD and other learning disabilities.

It was all based on Dicipline and Education. My kids loved seeing me and indeed when they came in for training they hugged me , grabbed my leg and hung off me and i knew i could never let them down. I was responsible for training the oldest ladies in our club which were over 70 years of age. And i personaly trained the 4 time world champion for the ALL Styles World Championships.

When i left i was in my last class and it was filled to the brim and a little girl who was too young to train used to sit next to me and bow in the classes and she would stand off to the side and watch her brother and sister train. She walked up to me and handed me a picture she drew of me and her holding hands. She drew a golden halo around me , in martial arts and teaching this is the highest honour you can ever achieve...to be recognised by a child.. This was almost 18 years ago but it feels like yesterday...

My brother started his own Karate school and has dedicated the last 20 years of his life to train people to have good sound self defence techiques and we are opening a new training centre for women and children when he comes back from Japan for his 5th Dan Grading.

We are excited, to say the least, at the prospect of being able to train people awareness and self defence.

I hope that someone out there is motivated by this. To make a difference in any way we can.


Hugs

Naniu

[Flash]

Nanoo, I know you took an education stance. Please, read my post an reflect. This is an invitation, not a judgment, most men would not even go as far as wondering what happened as you did. This is an invitation to an already good man for taking a step farther, to become an exceptional man.

And no, it is not based only on personal suffering but mostly on many years of societal observation, a society in which I am, want it or not.

Your intentions were not misunderstood from me, but patterns were observed to which I invite full awakening.

Love to you Nanoo, I always like your posts, even those in this thread, the give the opportunity to see further in the overall view of the world.

¤=[Post Update]=¤

As for the petition for this young girl and her parents, 2 days ago there was on television, national news, the RCMP (police) saying that they are reopening an inquest to see what went wrong. This was due to public pressure.

The parents want to have an independent inquest, not a police one only. So, please, continue the pressure, it is working.

[Flash]

Wow nanoo, what you did in impressive (although I still invite you to a deeper look).

What I am tempted to say is why don't you put part of this training on the internet? Have internet training for the rest of the planet, understanding that the daily practices are needing a teacher. But at least the common knowledge that girls should have.

I would definitely like mine to have this kind of training from kind hearted men.

[Realeyes]

This is such an important thread – thank you to everyone who has openly shared their stories, I know it could not have been easy putting such horrendous experiences into words – I have tears in my eyes for your strengths and send you all my deepest love. I am sure your posts will help many who have been in this situation and could not speak, and to those who your words may save them from such an experience.

I have not had this experience, yet many of my friends have and I saw how rape affected them, their confidence and trust in people.

I have three very beautiful daughters and this subject has always been at the back of my mind of how I could teach them to be wise and avoid as best as possible them ever experiencing this. There is only so much a mother can do, I cannot be with them 24/7 and also I wanted them to have a happy childhood and teenage years as it should be without making them paranoid and constantly looking over their shoulder. It is a difficult fine line to juggle.

I taught them to always be in a group of good friends and always stay together when out for the night – never separate. I showed them how to defend themselves if the moment arose. I explained to them the importance and signals of what certain clothing might attract. I kept an eye on all the boys they hung around with. I explained to them about date rape and to never leave their drink unattended.

I was a mum that vetted everything they watched as my children were growing up; they were not allowed to play computer games filled with shootings and war etc. I taught them to be aware of the importance of what they ‘placed their attention on’ and how horror films for instance influence their minds and dream states and could also encourage unwanted Astral activity. I taught them to be ‘conscious’ in all that they chose to do.

Also around the age of 15 years, I would sit with each of my daughters and we would watch the Jodie Foster film ‘Accused’ (the unedited version), I know it was ‘Hollywood’, yet it gave them a general all-rounder of what happens and how the justice system works. We would then have a lengthy healthy discussion about the film.

I am fortunate to have a very open speaking relationship with my daughters where any subject could be discussed no matter what it is about. A listening loving ear is important.

I never had any sons, yet if I had, I would have most certainly taught my son the same values and also the importance to treat everyone equally with respect, and to be loving and caring towards all life.

Thank you for this thread, it has been very thought provoking and I am sure this will help many reading this in their understandings and growth. :hug:

[Nanoo Nanoo]

Wow nanoo, what you did in impressive (although I still invite you to a deeper look).

What I am tempted to say is why don't you put part of this training on the internet? Have internet training for the rest of the planet, understanding that the daily practices are needing a teacher. But at least the common knowledge that girls should have.

I would definitely like mine to have this kind of training from kind hearted men.


Way ahead of you sis : 0 )

there is actually some literature here that i wrote on another thread... ill see if i can find it.

It is something i feel quite passionate about , i was sexually " interacted " with at least 3 times that i can remember when i was quite young. My father was raped in a concentration camp during the second world war. So i have some understanding around the subject.

And i cannot wait to get it all up and running ! and if we ever hit Montreal we'll be sure to let you know : 0 )


Hugs


Naniu

[Nanoo Nanoo]

I wish to dedicate this song to Rehtaeh , its a song of hope and love. While she is now free of all the pain let us not forget the lesson she sacrificed her self to teach us. Do not let this life and lesson go to waste.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU6oyOjmxak&list=PLE036594B74AF30A4



While the music is coming to an end
I fell for you and the love pretend
You know, I smelled the truth
But denied my instinct
I left the city, my family, my precinct

And I'm looking at liberty, good belief
Revolution, new obsession
Ideas, like new years
And good things are growing wings
With hope and dope and charity

I ain't being disarmed like this
I don't seek your foolish kiss
This is feeling victory
And I won't tell you what I see
No more, no more

Don't think you feel disarmed
You've got to trust in someone
Drop your guard and make love
Don't play your cards to your heart now
Don't play your cards to your heart now

Stop, yell, make a noise that's for all of us
Don't think revenge is a path to happiness
For the real link to enlightenment is forgiveness
For under the sun we are better and warmer together

I ain't being disarmed like this
I don't seek your foolish kiss
This is feeling victory
And I won't tell you what I see
No more, no more

Don't think that you feel disarmed
You've got to trust in someone
Drop your guard and make love
Don't play your cards to your heart now
Don't play your cards to your heart now

Let's stop breath in
Let the oceans wave
Let the trees rise up
Let all my love come pay
Drive away

I am a by stander
an innocent man
Out of a nightmare
Back into my heart

All of the reds, shot forth
Go ahead, make love, love

Revolution, new obsession
Ideas, new years
Good things are growing wings
Hope, dope, charity

Don't play your cards to your heart now


My dear little sister , dance and smile with the eyes of love always ...

Hugs

Naniu

[northstar]

I am happy to report that arrests have finally been made in the Rehtaeh Parson's rape case.
www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/08/08/rehtaeh-parsons-arrests-halifax-rcmp_n_3725009.html


"Rehtaeh Parsons Arrests: RCMP Holds Two In Alleged Sexual Assault"

I give the brave and noble Anonymous hackers full credit for encouraging the RCMP and justice system to actually do their jobs and bring the rapists to justice.

[Flash]

I think you are projecting , can you point out where anybody questions the morals of this girl ?

I wanted to know the circumstances that lead her into this situation for us to learn something from that. I think after a history of over 10,000 years of rape it is suffice to say that people who commit these crimes have no consideration for their victim. It is perhaps time to look at learning ways to avoid these situations as a preventative measure. These 4 boys wont be brought to justice dicussing it here ..personally i know what i would do but thats not the point of this discussion for me.

If i were a woman i would learn preventative means , early warning signs , and ways to stay clear of possibly dangerous scenarios. I would also learn self defence and i would most definitely carry a weapon and be ready and willing to use it. To be honest this is exactly how i live as a man. In peace and with good intent to my brothers and sisters , but if i am met with a situation i will do what it takes to survive it.

If you do not wish to help with this information then theres nothing more i can do to to help.

I will pray for the souls of these girls and as usual be vigilant in protecting my fellow man.

Love

Naniu

Nanoo, you seem not to have any teenager at home, or even been near those of todays. Your answers about preventative measures are ludicrous. THERE IS NOOOOO WARNING SIGNS about friends of friends unless you are getting to be completely paranoi.

If teenager were raised to look at all WARNING SIGNS they would be raised completely paranoi. As for self defence, no women makes it when fighting with a men because of nature's muscular strenght imparted to the average women.

Nanoo, you are showing us how the thinking about women and constant blaming put on women shoulders is showing up in society.

You definitely do not have a teenager in a town anywhere in America. Your comments do not make sense in this context, unless you hate women, are raised in a profoundly anti-woman society, are sexist or something on that line of behavior.

"these girls" as you say do need men who are raised to respect them, not prayers. "be vigilant in protecting my fello man" after having said "these girls" shows how you think of men and women.

Frankly, all your proposals are unrealistic anyhow. Adding up mysoginie does not help either.

JUst please admit that YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND what being a woman / girl is, since you are not one, an just listen to their plea and believe it in order to help.

We have had thousands of years of male patronizing, when not plainly taking power over us, and this has to stop. You are actually patronizing Nanoo, not listening, not using your heart.

there are a hundred things i could say , but ill leave it at this , im sorry you missed my point, i can see you are upset. I dont like being the cause of this but i realise i am not. Man , is a non gender specific term used to describe the inhabitants of this planet. Its not me being sexist or biased.

I have more experience with kids up to teenagers than you and most people here put together. SO i think that being Informed and vigilant , not paranoind mind you , is empowering the individual by making real time choices based on learning and then experience. I do have many years of experience in teaching capacity and councelling capacity for people who have suffered this and worse. this is just an fyi as assumptions usually lead you to incorrect conclusions.

I am on our side ok : 0 )

N

...............ok