Being an indigo

[Sloppyjoe]

Hi all, just wanted to share some thoughts of mine that need to get out. Quite frankly I consider Avalon to be a place where I can vent about this kind of stuff because nobody in my life besides two people would ever understand.

I consider myself an indigo child, I've done all the research and every time I read all of the characteristics of an indigo I can completely relate. Always have felt out of place since I can remember and don't understand all the violence that goes on in this world. The reason why I'm making this thread is because of my emotional state. I am generally an introverted person, I like going out whenever I can but I often need to cut it short to "recharge my batteries" so I enjoy being alone. I am a pretty unemotional person. I have read that indigo's are either extremely emotional or not emotional at all. I try to be, but I just can't feel it inside me. In any situation that arises I can't get emotional even if I tried, so I can't get really excited about anything, I'm purely a logical thinker. I'm not sure if I want to call it depression, but I get depressed randomly for no reason. One week I'll be fine and focused on school, gym, stuff like that...but then one day I'll be depressed and unmotivated about everything, my outlook on life changes. I always question why I'm here because I obviously don't fit in anywhere and don't relate to other humans at all, but I keep reminding myself that there has to be a purpose and I'm not just here to be here.

I could go on and on...I know there are many Indigo's or volunteer souls as Dolores would call them on this website. I want to know if anyone can relate to me because being this way sucks. I really want to enjoy life but sometimes I have this wave of depression that consumes me.

Thanks for reading.

[william r sanford72]

i to...but on the otherside of that spectrum...i almost envy you..my batterys go until they drain...then it is a recharge thing.i sleep about 3 hours night.this seems to be all i need..and feel everything 100x fold.this leads to bouts of depression..also led to a life of trying to dampen this.running away.my empathic nature leads to akward moments still.i still dont fit in.never have and stopped trying to at a young age..i need lots of time to my self to also...recharge...and to think..but i also need to be around people to..very conflicting.i feel you will learn to use this part of your nature for good and for your spirit to evolve..look at this way...we have jump on the rest of the pop.per say.sombody just forgot to give us the handbook.

[Swanette]

Hi all, just wanted to share some thoughts of mine that need to get out. Quite frankly I consider Avalon to be a place where I can vent about this kind of stuff because nobody in my life besides two people would ever understand.

I consider myself an indigo child, I've done all the research and every time I read all of the characteristics of an indigo I can completely relate. Always have felt out of place since I can remember and don't understand all the violence that goes on in this world. The reason why I'm making this thread is because of my emotional state. I am generally an introverted person, I like going out whenever I can but I often need to cut it short to "recharge my batteries" so I enjoy being alone. I am a pretty unemotional person. I have read that indigo's are either extremely emotional or not emotional at all. I try to be, but I just can't feel it inside me. In any situation that arises I can't get emotional even if I tried, so I can't get really excited about anything, I'm purely a logical thinker. I'm not sure if I want to call it depression, but I get depressed randomly for no reason. One week I'll be fine and focused on school, gym, stuff like that...but then one day I'll be depressed and unmotivated about everything, my outlook on life changes. I always question why I'm here because I obviously don't fit in anywhere and don't relate to other humans at all, but I keep reminding myself that there has to be a purpose and I'm not just here to be here.

I could go on and on...I know there are many Indigo's or volunteer souls as Dolores would call them on this website. I want to know if anyone can relate to me because being this way sucks. I really want to enjoy life but sometimes I have this wave of depression that consumes me.

Thanks for reading.


Don't worry you are not alone. I am an old indigo and feel and think the same as you. There is nothing wrong with you at all. I understand about feeling depressed for no reason. It is hard to understand it sometimes. Maybe others here can explain it. Just remember you are a very special person. Just try to radiate love and happiness vibes to everyone around you. ;)


cheers

Swannie

[Mercedes]

Hi there Sloppyjoe, I just wanted to say that I too felt depressed and out of place most of my young life, weird and trying to fit in. But as I've gottten older many things just seem to matter less and slowly I've seem to find that we all are out of place momentarily while we come to see through the lies. Then I realized that it's a trip I took for learning and so I'm here and try to be as happy, love and connect with whatever good I see in the world that I live right now. Don't be discouraged by the bad moments we all endure, get up, move on, into the next experience, FORGIVE and LOVE a lot. And like somebody in the weather videos says: " Eyes open, no fear"

[BrianEn]

I could be an indigo also. I would be first wave. I never fit in anywhere. Always felt weird. Didn't want kids. The idea of being a dad was nice but it never happened. I feel okay today because I feel it's quite normal to feel the way I do. We live in a plastic society where honesty about feeling bad is frowned upon even by others who feel the same way. Any suggestion I could have is to seek others like who are ready to be honest. Easier said than done. This thread is a great idea for that. Start small and see where it goes.

[Kimberley]

Swanette Perfect advice! Yes!!
Just remember you are a very special person. Just try to radiate love and happiness vibes to everyone around you.

I too am a 54 year young Indigo. And trust me I felt that way for a lot of years. Thank goodness I do not feel that way very often anymore. Thank goodness for the internet.

The internet has connected me with hundreds of people all over the planet that are of like mind. And my radio work/fun has connected me with hundreds of conscious thought leaders.

And for the past 2 years Avalon has been a great help, even though when I first joined I was thinking "I do not have time for this. Why was I led here?", well it has been one of the best sources of information and connection I have ever had.

Sloppyjoe, I see you do not post much (not a "bad" thing just an observation). I suggest you interact more here and that will help support you and your views of the world. Just a suggestion.

As far as the waves of "depression" (which I understand fully) I have a few suggestions...

1. (this is the most important suggestion) Get out in nature as much as you can and co mingle with the birds and the insects and the trees and the grass...take your shoes off and walk in the grass and take in the beauty of mother earth and her creatures. Just be one with all that surrounds you and be in marvel and wonderment with the beauty that surrounds you. Hug a tree! I hug trees a lot.

2. When you are feeling depressed recognize that you are in that state and start listing all of the things you are grateful for... an sample of my list is : Thank you for my children being happy and protected, for having a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear, water to drink and clean with, eyes that see, 10 fingers and toes, 2 legs and arms, the trees, the blue sky, rain, flowers, and the list goes on and on.

3. It sounds like you both are empaths (I know I am). Realize that you pick up the lower vibrating energy from others and study up on how to protect yourself from the energy of others. My simple method is an I am statement of "I am protected from the energy of others".

4. Use I am statements several times a day... I am enjoying life. I am happy, I am joyful, I am having fun, I am healthy, I have abundant resources, I am loved, etc...

I have some more, however if you just do these you will see great improvement!!!

Much love! Much peace!

[lunaflare]

Thanks for your post. Sure...I can relate. I live in a beautiful place and have a low stress life (this is how I manage). I need solo time and health-wise, have no major complaints. Depression, however, is a familiar feeling for many a long year. It has always been a subtle presence in my life.
I am not sure of anything anymore (been down many a rabbit hole). In fact, I find most beliefs I once had in a state of dissolve. I take each day. I treat my body as well as I can and am more mindful of living with gratitude. Not possible all the time, but it is a consciousness that grows. I feel thanks for beauty when I see it: (Nature) and beauty when I encounter it in others (kindness). Focus is powerful. Animals and Trees are worthy companions. There is an ancient saying:
Ask the wild bees what the druids knew.
We are all finding our Way.

You wrote:
I always question why I'm here because I obviously don't fit in anywhere and don't relate to other humans at all, but I keep reminding myself that there has to be a purpose and I'm not just here to be here.

Perhaps if you can grow comfortable around the "concept" of that perhaps you are just here to be here! No pressure, no expectations...just let go, take risks and enjoy the game/ride/play (choose metaphor)

[Kimberley]

Lunaflare that is perfect!

I too have created a low stress life and have turned into a human being not a human doing. I feel that I am here to enjoy life and have fun! That is what I strive for and create everyday!

Some days it is easier than others...however with practice I have gotten better and better at it!

[Lefty Dave]

Sloppyjoe, Greetings...

I, too, have felt out of place since childhood...I can not understand all the hate and fear generated on this realm...however I doubt I am Indigo...been through too much violence in my life of 63 years to think I am 'special'...but every time we drone another nation, or invade another country, I get sick for days...I can't help but feel responsible for these atrocities as they are being done in my name, with my taxes...and it is deplorable.
Depression is an ongoing problem...but the meds the VA had been giving me CAUSED much of it...when I threw them away and started dealing with the bad thoughts and feelings with meditation, prayer and inner searching...I feel better quickly...and the dreads go away until the next bit of news sets it off again...meditation, prayer and inner thoughts of positive beauty are the best remedy...IMO.

Blessings

[Kimberley]

Lefty Dave and all

YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL and so are we all! Please grasp onto that! A lesser mentality keeps you/me/whomever enslaved.

If you
can not understand all the hate and fear generated on this realm you are most likely an indigo...however labels do not matter...what matters is that you see things as they are, And continue to see how things really are and how we have been deceived on so many fronts.

I was beaten bloody by my mother until age 14. I used to think I must have had some very bad karma to work through...however I have learned that I chose to put myself in that situation to assure that I would wake up on this planet that has a veil of forgetting who we really are. All that are here now chose to be here now!

Again thank you all for being here now and remember you are powerful. Do not forget to enjoy life and have fun!

[Asyloth]

I've thought about exactly the same thing when I've seen the interview of Dolores speaking about this.
And after a day or two I thought naaa, I can't be one, but if this is really the description of an indigo, then I am one for sure ^^ But the "very emotionial" type (with a heavy shield on so no one knows ;))

It was a very good idea to bring this subject on the table.

[Mulder]

My advice is: "it gets better." You are young and for now you have to "hang in there" until you see what path your life will take. I hope you can see the future for you and not despair.

P.S. I read that Indigos would be born in the 1980s, and I was born in the 1970s, so I cannot be an indigo - however I see other people my age say they are indigos - so I don't doubt them, but I'm sure I'm too old to be one...

[Herbert]

I can only say that everything the OP describes, I identify with and like you, I really felt that I had no script or roll to play when I was around people. I say 'people' because I found groups especially hard to be with. But one-to-one was so much easier with the right persons. Nature and animals were my retreat and that is how I gained a real passion for life.

Yes there are times when depression can begin to bear down and seeking out one person you can resonate with helps dispel those feelings. When I realized I had many symptoms of being an Aspie, and then looked back over my young years, I could not help but laugh at myself. Lightening up, not taking myself so seriously, embracing Bill Murray's phrase: "It just doesn't matter!, It just doesn't matter!" made a world of difference for me.

The theme of an Aspie personality has now taken an interesting role for writers of comedies. One example would be the character of "Moss" in the tv show "The i.t. crowd". He is very intelligent but different. I see myself in him and can't help but wonder if the actor wrote his own lines because I've seen him interviewed and he really plays the role of a depressed person with his humour.

I also thought I had no emotions. I had a very logical mind and did not get a lot of jokes, etc. because they made no sense to me. I was at a loss to understand how anyone could let feelings interfere with a rational approach to the world. Eventually I realized that it was not that I did not have feelings. It was that I had suppressed my feelings from a very early age because I could not bear the pain all around me. My feelings actually ran too deep. I was in denial. That got me over the hump and it was individual animals that woke me up to my heart. That is a very important point. The layers of calluses slowly got peeled back.

Yes you have been given good advice here about the organic kingdom of nature being a healer. But you may need to find someone who can assist you and you only need ask confidently to have them come into your life. When you are ready it will happen. I honestly don't know why Indigos and Aspies seem to be so very much alike, but I believe there are a lot of Aspies on this forum too. We are very good with the written word but not so much with the spoken.

And I feel I am in the very best of good company with them all and with you Sloppyjoe.

[Orph]

Well, I'm not an Indigo because that would mean I belong in a group, and I don't belong anywhere. Remember the christmas TV show Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer? The one With Burl Ives as the voice of the snowman narrating the story? Anyway, there's one part where Rudolph and the dentist character ask for permission to stay on the island of misfit toys but they are denied and Yukon Cornelius says "How about that. Even among misfits your misfits". I always laugh at that. Like I say, I just don't belong. Even after all these years, as I'm on the downhill side of life ( this life anyway), I still have absolutely no clue as to why I'm here.

[Snookie]

Sloppyjoe you remind me of my nephew. He's a bit older than you and he has struggled with depression for several years. He spends a lot of time alone and doesn't have a lot of friends. He doesn't eat much and what he does eat is mostly empty carbs, so I worry that part of his problem could be a lack of vitamins - in particularly the B vitamins and vitamin D. Being low in these can definitely affect our mood. If it improves things even slightly it is worth it.

[Water33/6]

Hi sloppy joe, yo dude.... Follow your excitement whatever it maybe.... Quote from bashar. When I get depressed I listen to him. He has a zillion youtubes.... Put your energy into something creative or fun. Im an artist/painter and i also dance. Many of us are here a system busters, wayshowers... So of course we don't fit in. To be honest who'd want to fit in w mainstream anyway?

I'm an indigo too, I don't fit in w my family or society in general, but I have some very special friends that are my real family. So remember your specialness and just read the fine print next time before choosing earth as your next incarnation ....haha, cause I sure will! I think maybe Venus or Jupiter sounds better.

[Swan]

Hi Sloppyjoe,

I wish I had some brilliant advice for you.

I always felt that I didn´t fit in. And I always thought that it was because there was something wrong with me. And I spent many years trying to fix myself.

It wasn´t until a couple of years ago that I decided to accept that I was weird. Not just accept, but actually embrace my weirdness, allowing it to expand. Then the jigsaw pieces of "me" started falling into place. I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin.

I am not sure I have suffered from depression, but definately melancholia. In the last year I have changed my diet and it has made a world of difference.
No dairy - wheat - alcohol - coffee; and lots of Green smoothies with superfood ( "Green for life" Victoria Boutenko ). I also did a 30 day detox ( Dr Schulze ).
I realized that I needed high vibrating food. Ordinary food just isn´t very compatible with me.

This may sound silly, but there was a thread here recently on the negative effects of onion and garlic on the brain. So I´ve given up garlic too.

In "The power of now", Eckart Tolle talks about how feelings of "not belonging" at a young age are a good thing, because it motivates one to awaken.

Be kind to yourself.

[Wind]

Here comes my outpouring...

You sound like me a lot and I have recently realised that I have had all my life "asperger" traits. Society classifies me as mentally crippled, though I feel that I am actually way more emotional than most of the people ever could be and I am so sensitive, but I might appear sometimes as emotionally cold and rude even though I don't mean to be. My mind is able to collect vast amounts of data and I'm very good at connecting dots, but information still doesn't make me feel better. Knowing is a burden. I have learned that just being is all that is needed... I want to create things, but on my own slow pace.

Being in groups is especially hard for me since the energies drain me, no matter what I do. I barely have to energy to deal with one or two people in any situation, I actually rather choose to communite through writing and I like to be in solitary. I get more energy by being alone and lose it by being with other people, unless the person is vibrating in a more higher level. I'm very sympathic and sense the energies around me.

Melancholy has always been part of my life too... Animals and nature are extremely healing! I wish that I could live in a tranquil place, cities are too noisy and confusing. I like to find out the truth and spirituality and meditation has given me a lot. Without them I would be way more anxious as I used to be.

I think that my body is transmuting the energy of the environment and it taxes my already low energy levels. I feel like ancient (maybe because I am), but my body is still very young. To be honest most of the time it feels like that my consciousness is trapped in this body, which is like an old car. It just doesn't perform well enough. I don't bicker because there are so many things that I am thankful about in my life, things could always be way worse.

My body requires high vibrational food. Organic food like vegetables, fruits and pure water are good for me. If I choose sense pleasure through low vibrating food then I will suffer more.

I can't stand most rules and regulations. If someone tells me to do something I probably will do the opposite, unless I really want to please that person. That's why I like to question all the authorities, you have to earn my appreciation. I don't automatically appreciate someone or something because they have higher rank or age. I just see all as equal. King or a beggar, I only care about the content of your character.

What is it with humans? I don't understand the violence and the hate. It would be so easy to choose love, but ego's will always get on the way. Not all are ready to give up their superficial roles. Separation from the source causes suffering and on a collective level it causes immense tragedies. We get trapped in the drama.

However, it's good to know that we wanderers/starseeds/indigos are not alone on our paths. Indigos actually have more abilities, because their DNA is fully actived in their physical bodies. Wanderers have had the hardest time since they've been incarnating at least since from the 50's I think. Also not all wanderers remember their mission. Probably most people who are reading this could be wanderers even though they might not believe it.

We are brothers and sisters of sorrow. The sorrow might not be our own, but we feel deep concern and love for this planet. We transmute the energies and we feel all the collective negative emotions and energies. We won't stop reincarnating until this Earth is fully transformed into a paradise.

The time for the transformation is now... Now is all there is!

[sheme]

A message from a wise being the answer. 6 minutes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=P3KnPHTiuNs

[Maunagarjana]

Sloppyjoe, you might find this book helpful. It's written for ET souls incarnated on Earth, by Carla Rueckert.

http://www.llresearch.org/library/a_wanderers_handbook_pdf/a_wanderers_handbook.pdf

[soleil]

Here comes my outpouring...

You sound like me a lot and I have recently realised that I have had all my life "asperger" traits. Society classifies me as mentally crippled, though I feel that I am actually way more emotional than most of the people ever could be and I am so sensitive, but I might appear sometimes as emotionally cold and rude even though I don't mean to be. My mind is able to collect vast amounts of data and I'm very good at connecting dots, but information still doesn't make me feel better. Knowing is a burden. I have learned that just being is all that is needed... I want to create things, but on my own slow pace.

Being in groups is especially hard for me since the energies drain me, no matter what I do. I barely have to energy to deal with one or two people in any situation, I actually rather choose to communite through writing and I like to be in solitary. I get more energy by being alone and lose it by being with other people, unless the person is vibrating in a more higher level. I'm very sympathic and sense the energies around me.

Melancholy has always been part of my life too... Animals and nature are extremely healing! I wish that I could live in a tranquil place, cities are too noisy and confusing. I like to find out the truth and spirituality and meditation has given me a lot. Without them I would be way more anxious as I used to be.

I think that my body is transmuting the energy of the environment and it taxes my already low energy levels. I feel like ancient (maybe because I am), but my body is still very young. To be honest most of the time it feels like that my consciousness is trapped in this body, which is like an old car. It just doesn't perform well enough. I don't bicker because there are so many things that I am thankful about in my life, things could always be way worse.

My body requires high vibrational food. Organic food like vegetables, fruits and pure water are good for me. If I choose sense pleasure through low vibrating food then I will suffer more.

I can't stand most rules and regulations. If someone tells me to do something I probably will do the opposite, unless I really want to please that person. That's why I like to question all the authorities, you have to earn my appreciation. I don't automatically appreciate someone or something because they have higher rank or age. I just see all as equal. King or a beggar, I only care about the content of your character.

What is it with humans? I don't understand the violence and the hate. It would be so easy to choose love, but ego's will always get on the way. Not all are ready to give up their superficial roles. Separation from the source causes suffering and on a collective level it causes immense tragedies. We get trapped in the drama.

However, it's good to know that we wanderers/starseeds/indigos are not alone on our paths. Indigos actually have more abilities, because their DNA is fully actived in their physical bodies. Wanderers have had the hardest time since they've been incarnating at least since from the 50's I think. Also not all wanderers remember their mission. Probably most people who are reading this could be wanderers even though they might not believe it.

We are brothers and sisters of sorrow. The sorrow might not be our own, but we feel deep concern and love for this planet. We transmute the energies and we feel all the collective negative emotions and energies. We won't stop reincarnating until this Earth is fully transformed into a paradise.

The time for the transformation is now... Now is all there is!

wind, everything you said connected to me. and i never originally thought myself part of any group much like someone said above. similar to, if there is a black sheep, then im not that either, dont put me in your box, kind of mentality. unless i respect you etc. anyways you hit the nail on the head for me. i suppose i should look more into it.

on another note, i am definitely not depressed, but man, after work or in the early afternoon do i ever absorb energy from people who are anxious and in fear or constant worry and competition with others. im going to have to learn to protect myself from absorbing it all....

¤=[Post Update]=¤


Sloppyjoe, you might find this book helpful. It's written for ET souls incarnated on Earth, by Carla Rueckert.

http://www.llresearch.org/library/a_wanderers_handbook_pdf/a_wanderers_handbook.pdf
did this book connect you at all? can you share any details?

[Orion197]

Dear Sloppyjoe

You have chosen the right forum to share your feelings as there are many spiritual people who can assist in this pivotal time. This is also why we can write what I am about to write, and people like yourself have the choice to resonate with it or not --- having an open mind is the key.
Your feelings of depression, your unwillingness or inability to fit in and most importantly your sense of empathy are signs that your consciousness is having difficulties existing in this low vibrational 3d reality.
I would suggest that this experience was supposed to be a paradise, since consciousness knows, but need to experience. However, it has not appeared to be the paradise that was intended due to "interference" by 4th dimensional energies that thrive on low vibrational densities.
However, there is something wonderful in the works emerging from the background.
What we need to do, as strange as it may sound (but many people understand this) is to remember who we are and where we came from.
It may take time to fully comprehend the fact that we can only experience this 3d reality in this way via a hologram since our essence is consciousness, but once you do you will appreciate, accept and start believing that we are all indeed special and there is much, much more here than meets the eye.
Many of us have chosen to come back here and assist in this shift as strange as it may seem.
Remember who you are, look up at the stars on a clear night and see if you can connect with the mystical beauty of the universe.
I can tell you that we are headed into an incredible time, and while it won't be a smooth transition, it will happen.
There is something incredible happening on the horizon, so hold on to your hats and try your best to raise the vibrational frequency of the planet.
I'm not suggesting you sit and meditate and just wait, as we are still experiencing this 3d reality as a hologram so we must inspire ourselves to enjoy it, but be aware of the pressing issues such as GMOs, vaccines, fluoride, chemtrails, fear etc. that affect our experience.
There is a knowing in my heart, and I want everyone to feel the same that the deck of cards is about to collapse for the low vibrational status inflicted upon humanity.

Sloppyjoe, realize that we are all more than meets the eye and focus on remembering who you are. This knowing will empower and inspire you.

I posted this video below in another thread but I will share it again. It is designed to make you feel good and realize how incredible we are.
I hope it resonates with you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq9Yonvnxc0

[donk]

people like yourself have the choice to resonate with it or not --- having an open mind is the key.

Not to pick nits, but isn't resonance an "involuntary" thing, kinda by definition. Did you mean "choose to believe this or not"?


Many of us have chosen to come back here and assist in this shift as strange as it may seem.

What about the rest of us? We have many discussions of you all on your mission...what is the purpose of the everyone outside of your "many of us"?

[Orion197]

Dear Donk,



people like yourself have the choice to resonate with it or not --- having an open mind is the key.

Did you mean "choose to believe this or not"?
Correct, and does it make sense to you, do you feel it.



Many of us have chosen to come back here and assist in this shift as strange as it may seem.

What about the rest of us? We have many discussions of you all on your mission...what is the purpose of the everyone outside of your "many of us"?

This is the purpose of remembering who you are.
I need to stress that nobody has all the answers while here in this experience.
In essence we are all one. We are all connected. That is what I am suggesting and what I am feeling.

[grannyfranny100]

Sloppyjoe

I really haven't followed this indigo theory closely. I thought it was suppose to be people who exhibited special skills not shared by most earthlings like telepathy, etc. The sense of "not fitting in" seems to be symptomatic of introverted rather than extroverted personality.

In this culture, overblown with extroverts, being an introvert almost seems like a crime especially in the teen years which are governed by a herd instinct. Perhaps you might read some of the books about introverted personalities. If those books were around during my formative years, growing up wouldn't have seemed so overwhelming. Just google introverted vs extroverted and you will learn a lot.

A sense of ennui, depression, hypersensitivity, etc. may not mean you have some "indigo" supernatural powers and that you will end up berating yourself for not manifesting them. It may simply mean that you need to understand your introverted personality structure, own it and appreciate it!! Then you can make more appropriate career choices, learn ways of dealing with the extroverted situations and accept that your introverted personality is just on a different wave length and equally valuable if not more so.

[Sloppyjoe]

I have read every single word from every post in this thread. Thank you all very much for the advice. I will try some of the advice given, such as going out in nature more, meditating, and simply accepting who I am. I really do need to post here more often. I'm kind of shaking my head at myself right now for not because I have been interested in the topics talked about on this forum since I was 12 and LOVE talking about it.

Thanks again everyone, we are all in this together.



Sloppyjoe

I really haven't followed this indigo theory closely. I thought it was suppose to be people who exhibited special skills not shared by most earthlings like telepathy, etc. The sense of "not fitting in" seems to be symptomatic of introverted rather than extroverted personality.

In this culture, overblown with extroverts, being an introvert almost seems like a crime especially in the teen years which are governed by a herd instinct. Perhaps you might read some of the books about introverted personalities. If those books were around during my formative years, growing up wouldn't have seemed so overwhelming. Just google introverted vs extroverted and you will learn a lot.

A sense of ennui, depression, hypersensitivity, etc. may not mean you have some "indigo" supernatural powers and that you will end up berating yourself for not manifesting them. It may simply mean that you need to understand your introverted personality structure, own it and appreciate it!! Then you can make more appropriate career choices, learn ways of dealing with the extroverted situations and accept that your introverted personality is just on a different wave length and equally valuable if not more so.

It's not that I don't have a problem fitting into my culture, such as friends/groups and stuff...I just have a hard time fitting in with human beings in general. I don't get why they do the things they do BUT at the same time I have a strong compassion to see them evolve. I have always felt like I have a strong mission to see that happen but I just don't remember what lol, darn forgetfulness.