Something is wrong....

[East Sun]

Anyone viewing me and my life would think I have an ideal situation. I'm retired and watching my dollars can have a healthy free lifestyle. For many decades I have lived a holistic lifestyle, spiritually, physically and mentally. But I have a painful existence mentally/emotionally no matter what I try to do. I was able to battle forth against whatever came my way and take the slings and arrows. Was it worth it? Maybe at times.
I am curious about most all the subjects discussed on here. I have an open mind to 'whatever' comes down the pike.
I never saw a ufo or alien but I believe there's something to all the hype we hear.
But now if it were not for my wife and son I would be happy to just go on to whatever awaits or if nothing then that's fine too.
I enjoy reading/listening to Jim Marrs, David Icke, Bill Ryan, Alex Jones and many others.
Sensitivity to rejection has been greatly magnified of late and recalling all injustices in the world and personally occupies my mind continually. I've been obsessive compulsive in many ways most of my life but something is wrong that doctors cant even put a name on.
I took myself off prescription drugs a year ago that I was taking for depression and high blood pressure and see a naturopathic Dr.
I don't expect anything but am just venting having nowhere else to turn to.
This, writing this, is very uncharacteristic of me and I'll probably regret having done so.

[Curt]

Those meds can be miserable to get off. Good for you for doing it, and I hope your naturopath has some effective remedies for you.

In the meantime, try to get out and hike, do some exercise and get into nature. Do some physical labor.

That always helps me.

Maybe you need an adventure, some excitement, to knock down a few old fears. That all sounds hopelessly trite, but it may be true.

Anyway, hang in there. Best of luck to you.

[shadowstalker]

Your body is probably not attuned to not taking the meds at this point.
Probably need a more holistic diet and therapy (Reiki)
Meditation and the like.

[Sidney]

Solar flares can cause spontaneous melancholy. You might want to check out the many threads in the Solar Activity section of the forum. Learn how your moods, coincide with the sun. This should get you started if you are interested.

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?28433-Solar-flares-CMEs-and-mood-swings&p=558961&highlight=solar+mood#post558961

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/forumdisplay.php?78-Solar-Activity-Reports-and-Discussions

Aside from that, its an up side down world, and many people are having difficulty standing right side up these days. You are right something IS wrong. Many somethings. You don't need a reason to feel it.

[spiritguide]

Spend a few hours a day with nature. Allow the plants and animals to know you and feel their presence. Open up to the universe and let it flow. Try it.
Hope this can be of some help.

Peace!

[Lifebringer]

Evaluating the things in your bucket list of things to do? Ask your guide and since you are comfortable, if your able to help someone else, it would probably fill the void. To do it anonymously, will allow you to see your work, and the good it does for that person, warming you inside.

[Vitalux]

You might come to realize that one of the odd characteristics of a human being is we spend more time complaining :drama: about what we don't have, rather than considering what we do have.:fish2:

Cherish each moment as if it was a gift, including the times when opposition to happiness seems to prevail. It's all just experiential.

:ohwell:

[Lefty Dave]

Your story and mine are nearly the same....shocking....I didn't think it possible...
thought I was reading my own post...
my heart goes out to you, because every day is a struggle for me, as you. And likely many others, who won't be able to express it, ... who just can't figure out what dark force swept over humanity with the new millenium, ...why madness and sadness abounds....why we must witness this de vo lu tion of humanity...
You are right East Sun......something is very wrong. If we hang on, maybe the pendulum will swing back to peace, love and understanding one another...that's my fervent wish for earth . Blessings.

[RunningDeer]

Hi East Sun,

Brave of you to post what you did. Thank you for your trust. :hug:

I preface this with: In 1995, I was one ride away from suicide that stalked me for four months because my only child, Michael, chose that same route.

It’s been a challenging road for me the last several weeks. And I have only self-imposed responsibilities. No reason to feel what I am feeling.

Yet, there’s a level of ‘mind speak’ that I’m aware of that I have to be extra vigilant about. To the point that the only reason to be here is because of my aging dog. I don’t share this to alarm or for pity... ONLY to demonstrate my understanding of the energies that abound at present. For me, this energy is different from the former.

I understand my body is in transformation. A death of sorts and a Rebirth. What helps is my willingness to own and rid toxic emotions. And be careful not to label the collective unconscious emotions as mine.

Peace and Heart,
Paula XO

This was helpful to read posted by Gio from, “Up at the Ranch and Beyond, ” written by James Gilliland.



Good morning Rancher's

From James Gilliland's newsletter...
[B]***

"ECETI NEWS "


ECETI NEWS
"...Many are feeling intense energies which seems to have began yesterday but today it was very strong. It was extreme sadness, deep ancient cellular grief centered around male female relationship. It felt like a rebirth of the feminine stepping back into their power and the males reaction to the projection of those
energies. This process was very intense and hard to assimilate best advice is
taking some space and alone time with compassion for the process..."

[Nanoo Nanoo]

Do not regret something from the heart .. an admission that you are merely human can be vitally liberating : 0) perhaps you are holding on too tight .. see what it feels like to completely let go ... aah feedom

true freedom indeed

hugs

Naniu



Anyone viewing me and my life would think I have an ideal situation. I'm retired and watching my dollars can have a healthy free lifestyle. For many decades I have lived a holistic lifestyle, spiritually, physically and mentally. But I have a painful existence mentally/emotionally no matter what I try to do. I was able to battle forth against whatever came my way and take the slings and arrows. Was it worth it? Maybe at times.
I am curious about most all the subjects discussed on here. I have an open mind to 'whatever' comes down the pike.
I never saw a ufo or alien but I believe there's something to all the hype we hear.
But now if it were not for my wife and son I would be happy to just go on to whatever awaits or if nothing then that's fine too.
I enjoy reading/listening to Jim Marrs, David Icke, Bill Ryan, Alex Jones and many others.
Sensitivity to rejection has been greatly magnified of late and recalling all injustices in the world and personally occupies my mind continually. I've been obsessive compulsive in many ways most of my life but something is wrong that doctors cant even put a name on.
I took myself off prescription drugs a year ago that I was taking for depression and high blood pressure and see a naturopathic Dr.
I don't expect anything but am just venting having nowhere else to turn to.
This, writing this, is very uncharacteristic of me and I'll probably regret having done so.

[good point]

I know something's wrong. It is impossible for me to make every second count. 2 cents per minute is a minimum hourly income. Even at $5 dollars every minute, ideally, that won't even list a person as a part of middle class America! ({$100k per year or $300 per hour} middle class, compared to the elite class versus the bottom 50%).

[bennycog]

Hey East sun,
you picked a great bunch of people to open up to.. I have opened up here quite a few times myself. Sometimes all you need to do is get it out. Put it out to the universe that you are ready for things to change and ready get out of whichever box your in at that present time..
And it works because it helps you make decisions thinking clearly..
So good luck mate and know there are other minds flowing with you in and out of this dimension.

[BrianEn]

Venting is good and I have done that many times. Best thing is found that there are people who will listen. Others don't but they really at no coz they're not listening so therefore can't hear what you are saying. Sometimes it's just the knowing you aren't alone that makes the difference. It's the difference for me. The last couple years have been the made all the difference for me. It's really showed me the difference of what it means not to be alone. Thank you for sharing your struggle. It helps me to remember mine.

[Nanoo Nanoo]

just remember psychological anomolies creating mental rhythms usually always preceed hormonal imbalances which mutate into retrospeally active conditions benefitting the degradation of the original malady. These things symbiotically manifest as an alphabet disease.

The treatments are many but the cure remains in getting back to the front of the time in which you instigated the disease with your thought.


Merry christmas


Naniu

[Violet]

Anyone viewing me and my life would think I have an ideal situation. I'm retired and watching my dollars can have a healthy free lifestyle. For many decades I have lived a holistic lifestyle, spiritually, physically and mentally. But I have a painful existence mentally/emotionally no matter what I try to do. I was able to battle forth against whatever came my way and take the slings and arrows. Was it worth it? Maybe at times.
I am curious about most all the subjects discussed on here. I have an open mind to 'whatever' comes down the pike.
I never saw a ufo or alien but I believe there's something to all the hype we hear.
But now if it were not for my wife and son I would be happy to just go on to whatever awaits or if nothing then that's fine too.
I enjoy reading/listening to Jim Marrs, David Icke, Bill Ryan, Alex Jones and many others.
Sensitivity to rejection has been greatly magnified of late and recalling all injustices in the world and personally occupies my mind continually. I've been obsessive compulsive in many ways most of my life but something is wrong that doctors cant even put a name on.
I took myself off prescription drugs a year ago that I was taking for depression and high blood pressure and see a naturopathic Dr.
I don't expect anything but am just venting having nowhere else to turn to.
This, writing this, is very uncharacteristic of me and I'll probably regret having done so.

Sounds like a great emptiness you're experiencing there. It's a great thing too that you can see it and talk about it.

In my opinion that is the very start of the healing process.

I wish you plenty of happy days with your family.

[lookbeyond]

You are not alone, blessings and may you find your peace, love lb

[Keltikmuse]

You are certainly not alone and especially with everything you are experiencing right now. I feel pain and emotional/physical upswings come in waves and I am coming down (hopefully) from the largest upsurge of pain in my life.
I find this Forum is a great help in so many ways.
Hugs and healing thoughts go with you x

[Craig]

Courage on your path East Sun, like a few others posted I feel like I am following you. Something has been out of sorts for awhile now but can't work out what it is? Just remember to cut an extra large path as you go for those behind that perhaps may be a bit wider than the norm

I hope pleasant journeys await

[soulsinger]

East Sun, I sympathize with your emotional situation. Having experienced my own years of painful depression (though outwardly my life appeared perfectly nice), I can relate to your description.

In my case, I discovered that my state of physical health is very influential on my state of mind. I researched and worked with my hormonal problems and blood glucose stability, to achieve more well-being on a daily basis. One thing I've discovered: healthy FATS have been a life-saver!! Including plenty of olive oil, coconut oil, and pastured butter has greatly improved my health and emotional life. If you're not a vegetarian, pastured (cage-free) eggs and wild-caught fish provide excellent fats and protein. Healthy fats and an anti-inflammatory diet have dramatically improved my emotional state over the past year.

Sometimes depression can be caused by medical difficulties, so make sure you're aware of any changes in your body (for example, diabetes and other hormone deficiencies can cause depression). Get tested for anything you & your doctor suspect may be an issue.

Above all: if you feel there is something wrong, and you are finding yourself unable to enjoy life, then DO NOT GIVE UP until you find the solutions for you!!! If one doctor can't help you, then get another opinion. Be diligent, because your well-being is very important!!!

Many blessings on you, East Sun, as you take your journey... one day at a time.

[Knowrainknowrainbows!]

East Sun,

Your words, "But I have a painful existence mentally/emotionally no matter what I try to do. I was able to battle forth against whatever came my way and take the slings and arrows. Was it worth it? Maybe at times." are sticking in my head ... I'm not a therapist ... but I recognize an opportunity for significant growth and pain relief behind this statement.

Maybe you can explore the feelings, thoughts, past experiences on your own but if there is no one to reflect objectivity then it may not be as worthy an endeavor. Additionally, the fact that you had been on an antidepressant in the past (by the way, Was it helpful?) is a potential indicator that what you're experiencing is not simple or temporary and I caution minimizing the painful struggles.

Please attend to your basic needs ... adequate sleep, nutrition, exercise, followed by having a hobby/something fun to do, sharing time with loved ones and/or others in need.

Spend time outside, in nature. Be aware low vitamin D levels are associated with many "illnesses" including depressive symptoms. As we age we may lose the ability to absorb and/or process Vit D from sunlight.... perhaps ask your doc to check the level. I experienced depression and found my Vit D level was very low. Once levels were stabilized, I was too!

I hope this helps ... You may have helped someone else by starting the topic. Thanks and healing energy is sent your way. You sound like a giver of self ... be good to you too, kindred spirit.

KRKR

[Carmen]

Ah! Find a passion East Sun. You sound bored to me!

[ghostrider]

knowing the world is broken, and could be much better has an effect on the spirit of a person ... sometimes energy is ovewhelming ...

[East Sun]

Thanks to all who sent their thoughts. When you feel like you are totally alone there are many who feel the same way but you're still alone. It's amazing how an avatar symbol and name can be like someone you know even better than neighbors you see every day.
My 'thank you' button is missing for some reason just when I wanted to thank each one individually.
This is a great forum with people who have a lot in common. I'm glad to be a part of it.

My 'thank you' button is back.

[Dennis Leahy]

My first thought as I was reading what your heart wrote was to put yourself on St. John's Wort, and wean yourself off of that. Some of the meds given for mental health issues are extremely difficult to get away from - intact.

My second thought was waterfalls. I hope you are blessed to be somewhere near a waterfall, and that you can go and sit near one, for a "while", repeatedly.

My third thought is volunteering - with anyone especially needy, but perhaps either elderly or very young (usually more peaceful than trying to help a troubled teen, for example), but be open to whomever is attracted to your energy when you decide to help.

My fourth thought is to sit peacefully, and experience gratitude. Do this alone, when and where you will not be disturbed. Allow your heart to (not just figuratively, but literally) lead. Send out waves of gratitude from your heart. Be prepared for tears to stream down your face, and do nothing to stop them.

My final thought is to forgive yourself for not being able to do for the world, humanity, and all life forms what you would wish you could do.

Oh my, am I writing to you... or to myself.

With love,

Dennis

[crosby]

i am where you are...i truly feel your pain. i am there right now. i send my love and strength to you. blessings and strength.
much love to you,
corson

[bodhii71]

When a post like this appears, and I feel compelled to respond, I usually avoid others replies so that I may respond in my most natural way. So forgive me if I repeat someone else's response.
It may be off the mark, but I think this is a manifest from discord of not knowing what you are. Perhaps intellectually you might. I believe this is where deep self inquiry is needed. It is a call home.
No amount of money, prestige, friends or drugs will quite this call. In it, is liberation, without it you will continue to suffer.
Might I suggest the words of Alan Watts, Adyashanti, Gangaji, and Mooji to name a few. What are they pointing towards?

As a side note, many of the worlds events (the ones that are presented in "world news") pull us off of center, keeping us from sustain abiding realization. I wish you well, may you know peace and understanding.

[sleepy]

xxxxx xxxxx

[conk]

Much love and caring thoughts to you. Tomorrow will be better! Perhaps try some detoxing to get rid of the residual meds? All the best to you and thanks for sharing. We all have our challenges. You are not alone!!!

[BrianEn]

And sometimes you just gotta ride the roller coaster.

[Fred Steeves]

Hi East Sun. I've noticed that our greatest leaps in understanding, often emerge from our most gut wrenching of experiences. (So it goes I reckon) The following is a quote I find to be very much the truth:

"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid"

William Benjamin

[East Sun]

I really want to thank everyone for concerned thoughts and wishes. I'm surprised at how many identified with my feelings of detachment and helplessness. When I say that I have tried everything over the years to find an answer to depression/anxiety etc. I have. From martial arts, yoga, tai chi, meditation, diet, study of spirituality, psychology, philosophy on and on it has been a learning experience but... none of them are answers of course.
The state of the human condition as it has been always and still is, is extremely depressing. On the one hand we are compassionate but susceptible to brainwashing, conditioning, manipulation etc. which is detrimental to us even as we try to do what is right.
Perhaps as someone said the prescription drugs have negative effects after you stop taking them. They seem to work when taking them. When I stopped over a year ago my balance went crazy and I felt weak. It's still not much better.
I will follow the advice given here re checking out vit. d deficiency.
John did you mean to take St John's Wort as a tea or some other way? I've tried it as a tea in the past but don't remember if it has an effect.
Again, thanks so much to everyone who replied.

[bodhii71]

My dog ate part of the rim of a bush hat I had. I cut the brim and added earth magnets around the edge, what was left (one on the outside the other inside). First day wearing it, but I had a markedly more positive day. I had a clearer thought center and an overall better well being. Maybe something like this might be of some benefit as well as what others have mentioned. If nothing else an interesting distraction for myself. Chop wood, carry water.

[Fred Steeves]

Perhaps as someone said the prescription drugs have negative effects after you stop taking them. They seem to work when taking them. When I stopped over a year ago my balance went crazy and I felt weak. It's still not much better.


When I up and quit the pain pills for my back in '09, I didn't sleep for almost 2 weeks. (Very bizarre) Once sleep finally came I didn't have a single dream, and was still somewhat weak and off balance for a good 6 months. It was a full year until everything was totally back to normal again.

I don't know how pain pills compare in that respect to what you were taking for depression East Sun, but it sounds like there are some parallels. That stuff really messes with our body's chemistry.

[RunningDeer]

In 1995, I went on medication four months after my son died. I was unaware and numb to see that the will to live was shot. There are still times I am filled with gratitude that I chose to continue on. More life has reveals itself in ways I could not have imagined.

The most important part of the process for healing was to rid all emotions that prevented me from wholeness. So along with medication, I went for counseling. What I learned was it’s not the hour a week I spent there, but the work I processed myself the rest of the time. A renewed commitment. A relearn on the importance that I am here for the whole damn experience. I am the maker of my experience therefore I am the changer of all my experience.

In today’s terms, I am an empowered being. The digging out what holds me in false beliefs is my responsibility. Whatever is not me is artificial to my personhood, which includes the totality of body, mind and essence. Also, where I begin and end, where others begin and end, and how we mesh.

When I’m not incorporating what brings me joy in my day to day (moment to moment), I ask why not? Often what comes up are feelings of unworthiness, undeserving, guilt for the joy I am while others are not, fear of personal manufactured unknown. All recognizable as artificial from the 100% natural that I am.

At one level, why I am here is to be cognizant of what is and what’s not. What thoughts, beliefs, emotions keep me from seeing AND allowing the self access the greater who/what.

Counseling, medication, herbs are good when one needs assistance to jump start the healing. But it’s the individual that is the driver. If not, you’ll always be looking outside yourself for something that no other human, drug, equipment, etc., can provide like you can for your custom designed life-living.

Peace,
Paula :wave:

[778 neighbour of some guy]

Iboga ( I suggest doing some research yourself), no walk in the park btw but doable ( take it from me)

[East Sun]

Re-reading your suggestions and good wishes is helpful. This condition seems to be my lot in life. Millions are worse off than I, but the search goes on.
It's far better to have compassion than be like the ones trapped in uncaring mode who cause world-wide disasters.
Best wishes to all.

[AriG]

East Sun,

I am so very sorry that you are experiencing this melancholy. I too recently experienced symptoms that I should not have had. Some of them very similar to yours. As it turns out, I have Hashimoto's Disease ( aka Hashimoto's Thyroiditis). http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hashimotos-disease/DS00567

Although I am regularly exposed to stressful and dangerous situations through my work, I have always been an energetic and reasonably optimistic person who enjoys a myriad of pursuits and would describe myself as an idealist. Unfortunately, idealism is a dual-edged sword that often leads to feelings of hopelessness in a world such as this. That said, over the course of this past very long and dreary winter, my energy level began to wain. I blamed it on the weather (SAD) and was losing interest in prior pleasures. In March, I started experiencing rapid onset dizziness and occasional heart palpitations. I was also incredibly anxious. I kept telling my husband that I could not identify the source of my anxiety. It had a terrible hold on me. I was argumentative, impatient, angry, etc. We presumed that the dreaded menopause was the culprit. On April 1st (ironic, eh), I made the journey to town for some provisions. I could barely drive. I was dizzy, my heart was racing, nauseated, had ringing in my ears and a horrible whooshing sound upon standing. When I finally made it home, I announced that I thought I might be having a heart attack and we headed to the ER. I was monitored and tested for four hours. My heart was fine. When the blood work was made available, my Thyroid Stimulating Hormone levels (TSH) were 7.2. A follow up visit to the doc the following day resulted in a TSH return of 8.9. Clearly, I was experiencing a thyroid attack.

Never having shown a goiter or any outward symptom of thyroid disease, this diagnosis came as a surprise. I had gained a few pounds over the winter but still managed to squeeze into my size 8 jeans ( lying down. lol).

I am now on a drug called Synthroid. It is a synthetic TSH replacement. In addition, the endocrinologist believes that there is a connection between the hypothalamus and this condition and put me on a tried and true "seratonin uptake inhibitor" called Lexapro. This drug is technically an anti depressant. It is used off label to slow the hoarding of seratonin by the brain so that the remainder of the body can benefit. Although I would certainly prefer a natural or holistic treatment for this condition, nothing effective exists. Without these drugs, I would eventually have slipped into a coma and died. I had to take a conventional approach. Not all conventional medicine is corrupted. We can't take a "baby and bathwater" approach to health or any other human issue. My Endo also prescribed Vitamin D ( a connection exists between this and the condition) as well as 600 mcg of Selenium per day. Selenium deficiency is epidemic as his Hashimoto's and hypothyroidism. Another symptom of our nutrition depleted soil. I also am prescribed fish oil and zinc. There is a natural TSH replacement called Armour, made of porcine dessicated thyroid but unfortunately, due to its natural variation by animal used, the dosing varies wildly. One of the critical components of treating this condition is consistent dosing.

Triggers for thyroid disease include: hormonal changes ( pregnancy, menopause or puberty). In a retired gentleman such as yourself, you have probably experienced a very subtle decline in testosterone levels over a number of years. You might be hitting rock bottom and this could also be causing the melancholy. Additional triggers include grief, shock or trauma, viruses ( a strain of virus related to SARS is suspected), exposure to high levels of radiation or toxins.

My point in rambling on about this is that it is very easy to presume that you are healthy when you may not be. Sometimes these conditions sneak up on us very slowly and we experience a very subtle decline that goes by undetected for years. It often takes an event (attack) to identify the problem.

You state that were it not for family, you would give up to ghost. Please think about that. You love them and want to be with them. Your life is not over. Something is going wrong and it can probably be fixed. Please see a doctor and hang in there! It gets better.

With Love,

Ari

[East Sun]

Thanks AreG,
You are lucky to have such good Drs. My MD who I've had for 28 years is said to be good but when I decided to stop taking prescription drugs "fired" me as a patient. I hate prescription drugs because I know they kill more people than heart attacks, cancer etc. I also know that prescription drugs sometimes save people or make their lives bearable. They are prescribed for everything--that's all Drs. know about treating people. After that it's surgery. Big pharma. has a monopoly on the whole process.
Now I have a naturopathic Dr. but am not so sure about him either.
I really have tried everything to the point that when I hear of some new super cure I am an unbeliever.
According to my old Dr. my thyroid is ok and my only problem is high blood pressure.
I have no patience at all, feel anxious and nothing is fun and worst of all a feeling of having failed in my life-long quest to find a reasonable contentment.

I will consider the things you mentioned.

Thank you for your long reply.

[AriG]

East Sun,

One of the MOST misdiagnosed conditions is a thyroid condition because, the standards for what is "normal" have been inaccurate for years. So much so, that test results from 2008 now reveal that I had the condition then and that it was a major contributor to a miscarriage at three months gestation. You need to find out what your TSH tests results were. Anything above a 2 is an indicator for this condition. Reports are suggesting that most GP's aren't aware of the change in the standard range for this condition, so if your score was lower than 7, your GP might be working on outdated information. Hence the problem with institutional medicine. They follow industry "guidelines" for what is considered "normal". Please find those results. It really feels as though your problem is related to a hormonal imbalance. I am here to help you in any way possible. I have learned much the last several months and anything that I can do to alleviate another's suffering would be a great honor.

[AriG]

Oh, and a footnote. Another test - TPO Antibodies ( they show how hard your immune system is working against your thyroid). A real indicator as to whether your issue is auto-immune or not. An "average" test result for a Hashimoto's patient is about a score of 30. Mine was 2500. And that didn't happen overnight. That reflects years of gradual destruction and declining health without obvious symptoms.

[AriG]

Oops. One more. One of the MAJOR indicators of a thyroid attack is sudden onset high blood pressure. When I went to the ER? It was 180/100 with a pulse of 120 bpm. Normal BP for me was always 110/80. If you have a history of a low pulse rate ( 60 bmp or below) this is also indicative.

Trust me. Mainstream medicine is to medicine what Mainstream media is to knowledge. I had to pressure the docs to get a diagnosis. Had to reach outside my network to see an Endocrinologist who instantly confirmed the condition. Unfortunately, alternative medicine doesn't test well. It treats holistically, but getting firm numbers from a lab is critical. Then do what ye will with the results.

Do you have pain on the inside of your elbows or your hips or shoulders? Another tell tale sign.

[Houman]

Perhaps... at the end of the day... all that matters is the love that we share... with our family... our children...our parents...our friends... every living being that crosses our path... perhaps it is what we give them and what we receive from them that brings us joy...
Houman

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Anyone viewing me and my life would think I have an ideal situation. I'm retired and watching my dollars can have a healthy free lifestyle. For many decades I have lived a holistic lifestyle, spiritually, physically and mentally. But I have a painful existence mentally/emotionally no matter what I try to do. I was able to battle forth against whatever came my way and take the slings and arrows. Was it worth it? Maybe at times.
I am curious about most all the subjects discussed on here. I have an open mind to 'whatever' comes down the pike.
I never saw a ufo or alien but I believe there's something to all the hype we hear.
But now if it were not for my wife and son I would be happy to just go on to whatever awaits or if nothing then that's fine too.
I enjoy reading/listening to Jim Marrs, David Icke, Bill Ryan, Alex Jones and many others.
Sensitivity to rejection has been greatly magnified of late and recalling all injustices in the world and personally occupies my mind continually. I've been obsessive compulsive in many ways most of my life but something is wrong that doctors cant even put a name on.
I took myself off prescription drugs a year ago that I was taking for depression and high blood pressure and see a naturopathic Dr.
I don't expect anything but am just venting having nowhere else to turn to.
This, writing this, is very uncharacteristic of me and I'll probably regret having done so.

[East Sun]

AriG,
I really appreciate all your help. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my naturopathic Dr. He is only 28 and starting out in business. He was or said he was blown away by the Edgar Cayce book I gave him called The Edgar Cayce Companion which is an account of all the cases that Edgar cured while in a trance.
Anyway, he does not have that much experience but has a natural approach which I like.
I will ask him about the thyroid thing and if does not know about it I will check it out as best I can some other way.
It's sad if your experienced Dr. misdiagnoses your condition and you go on searching in vain. I will keep in touch on here if that's ok and let you know what happens.
Thanks again.
ES

[East Sun]

I just watched Alex Jones interview a woman who is very much aware of the damages of Smart Meters to the point that people are getting sick and committing suicide. It seems like a total exaggeration that it would come to this.
I feel like something is wrong and it is not because of something I have done. Either I'm crazy or something is affecting me.
Is Alex Jones right about all this stuff? If so we are in real trouble. Big time trouble.
What do we do?
People are waking up. But millions are not. We can only do what we can to make others aware. And so it goes.

[Veiled Rain]

Meditation--the key to self discovery and the pathway to the immortal soul
When we experience silence--true silence--- in quieting the chatter of the mind---we become awash with eternal and infinite love, harmony, and tranquility for all beings including ourselves.

Adyashanti has many words of wisdom about the duality we exist in that resonate with internal as well as external vibrations that complete the melody of the body mind and spirit.
Do not despair--all this just may be a fervent however persistent illusion/hologram of your unseen spirit guide---he/she is offering an experience for us to unravel and welcome
Each moment is an abiding and immutable gift from the creator/source-given with only enveloping love

Namaste and blessings :grouphug:

[East Sun]

Again, thanks to everyone. On Tues I'm going on a trip and will be away from computers except at the library once in a while to check e mail, so be back in Sep.
Best wishes to all.
ES

[GloriousPoetry]

East Sun,
The human experience is a rough ride....perhaps making peace with your physicality is all you need to do right now......

[East Sun]

East Sun,
The human experience is a rough ride....perhaps making peace with your physicality is all you need to do right now......

I don't know what you mean. Please elaborate if you will.
I agree that our human existence is rough most of the time especially for some. It seems almost unavoidable observing our actual condition.