Moving on from Family and Friends ... Spiritual process?

[Bassplayer1]

Before I begin, I'd like to acknowledge that my time engaging with this Forum has been intermittent and I apologize ... I'm aware of how lucky I am to be able to express my thoughts here amongst kind and loving people ...

I was wondering if anyone else has chosen to leave behind their loving families/friends?
I moved from the UK to Canada about 18 months ago to be with a lovely man ... and despite having said goodbye to many kind and loving family and friends, I have no desire to re-connect with them. I feel in-different. I'm not sure if this is selfish or if this is part of moving on from people who may be lovely but energetically different? I've been reading that letting go of family and friends (especially if stuck in certain patterns) can sometimes be part of the spiritual process?

It seems its very taboo to leave one's family (in my case, parents ... and I'm 43!!!). I see life here as transitory ... an experience to learn and grow ... I didn't deliberate plan to up and leave ... a wonderful opportunity came along and I took it within weeks!

It has been during these last 18 months in my new life that I discovered Projects Avalon/Camelot ... The Bases Series/Ammach project etc ... prior to this I had little idea about the big illusion! It's debatable how soon I would have started the waking process had I not gone with the flow, followed my instincts and moved to Canada. Since I've made that choice, continual abundance flows into my life ... lovely people, the chance to make music ... and all the spiritual help I could possibly wish for. With the exception of my parents, every difficult person and very aspect of conflict has disappeared ... I am one of the very few people to experience a calm, peaceful, safe and nurturing existence right now ...

My grandmother (93 yrs) died at the weekend after several years of suffering. I don't feel sad or grief ...I feel calm and un-phased. This is selfish to admit but I have no desire to fly back for the funeral (I can think nice thoughts of her any time I like). The flights are very expensive indeed and I'm anxious of the cold and frosty atmosphere/conflict from my folks who haven't accepted me moving away.

When I told them I was moving to Canada they were angry and very harsh .... in return I told some 'little white lies' to protect myself and to make things less painful for them. Despite my reasons, telling 'white' lies isn't spiritual - and has only made them even more upset!

It feels the connection has gone. I don't feel sad about this. I feel no bad feelings towards them ...I just want to move on to the next stage of the journey here. Is this normal?

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm happy to talk with anyone who has - especially if they are having difficulties - perhaps I can listen and help?

Thank you for reading this.

With lots of love
x

[Kryztian]

I have often contemplated leaving my family, and even my friends. Perhaps moving to another part of the globe, or entering a monastery. But I haven't done so. I don't always think about my existence in terms of re-incarnation, but when I do, I wonder "Did I know these people in previous existences? Do I have any kind of connection to them?" At times I feel a complete disconnect from them, a total lack of understanding about their desires, behaviors and motivations. Then, I wonder if my sense of what a relationship is comes from the fantasy world of television which sets up ridiculous expectations about what a relationship should be. At other times, I examine myself and am frightened how much I am like them.

In spite of the fact that a find myself here on planet Earth with a bunch of people who feel like familiar strangers, I am grateful to them and for what my relationship with them has taught me, even if these relationships are sometimes abusive or often feel empty. I have still learned from them, although I can't always tell you what the lesson was about, I know it's quite meaningful in a way my puny human consciousness can not understand.

I don't get a sense of why you need to leave them in your post. Is it because of what they can't or don't do for you, or for what you can't do for them? I have faith that we are put here on Planet Earth with certain individuals for a reason. It seems that your relationship with these people has stagnated. There might be good reasons to leave, if you think your time with them is over, but you might always consider the alternatives - just taking a break from them and coming back, might change the dynamic, or you might try and find different ways to interact. Perhaps you are here to challenge them - you might want to try engaging in different activities with them, communicating differently, just do whatever you can to shake things up. Don't look to them to improve the quality of your relationship, look to yourself - that you can rise to the challenge of bringing the relationship into new territory - this might be a lot less radical and maybe even more satisfying then leaving them all behind.

[Fred Steeves]

I was wondering if anyone else has chosen to leave behind their loving families/friends?


Hi Bassplayer. Sometimes it's just time to go, whether things are going well or not. I was born, raised, and lived my whole life in Florida, but a year or so ago it became that time. In the whole run up to leaving I thought I would wind up second guessing myself, and would always have a little hole in my heart about leaving the place I loved. But things change, and I haven't looked back since pulling away in the moving truck.

There seems to be a certain rhythm to life, and the more in tune we are with that rhythm and roll with it, the more things fall perfectly into place.

Glad things are working out well for you, sounds like you're getting the hang of that rhythm. :)

5cHjqWfd9x0

[dianna]

Hi Bassplayer, I too moved to Canada from the States, and my boyfriend moved from Germany to Canada --- we met here, and we have similar feelings towards our families. We are exactly on the same page, and have gone through the awakening process for the last ten years. This would never of happened if we stayed with our families in our own countries. We are disconnected on many levels with all who we have known before coming to Canada (although there is no anger between the family and ourselves and we do visit and skype etc). Sometimes we also wonder why we did move here, and wonder why we met. We also wonder if we did the right thing leaving family and friends, but its always the same conclusion we come to. We have decided that we were meant to be consorts in the awakening process together and by ourselves (it has been an extremely lonely road for us -- exactly not one person we know is even close to an understanding of what is going on and we have lost most of our friends) --- Most of the time, like you, we are indifferent to this fact, and the fact that we will never be connected to our families like we used to be.

When I read your post, my first reaction was that you instinctively knew it was time to leave and walk a different path. For what its worth, I think you did the right thing but you need to make peace with this fact --- It took me a very long time to do this so give yourself some time.

[Fred Steeves]

I was wondering if anyone else has chosen to leave behind their loving families/friends?


Hate to use your same quote again, but a deeper aspect of "leaving behind" just occurred to me. That's also exactly what we are doing *personally* as the awakening process continues to unfold, steadily leaving bits and pieces of our old selves behind, and creating anew in their place.

[The One]

Remember to follow your own path and leave a trail

Just watch out, there is still a lot of brainwashing going on out there

Cheers

[dianna]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyJnyshM7ZA

[BrianEn]

I had to walk away from my family some 17 years ago. At that time I needed to. I had to grow up. It wasn't easy and I felt guilty. My mom died this past year and I reunited my my sister and nephew. My other sister's son. I'm grateful to back amongst family now. The time apart from my family was needed though. I am happy with things now.


I'm just saying that coz you may feel different in a few years. If you can do anything keep a current address with someone in case one day you would like to reconnect because you're in a different country and I stayed in the same city as they were.


Just to be clear this was my birth family and not children or a mate. It was just me going off and growing the hell up and learning to stand on my two feet.

[Poly Hedra]

Done pretty much the same. Moved to a new country although I've been living away from home for 10 years on and off. I can relate to a lot of what you are describing. I find that being away from my family helps me appreciate them more, I visit, everyone is happy and being pleasant due to me and them being a novelty, it's great. I am quite different to the rest of my family, the weird one, with strange hair and clothes :) which means close proximity is not necessary. My friends and family get on my case for not being in contact enough, I just don't need it.
When my grandmother and grandfather died within a month of each other, i was very close to my grandfather but I didn't react the same way as everybody else. The reason was because I believed that they were both alive and well, on the other side, having a marvellous awakening and about to embark on a glorious journey. I felt excited and happy for them. I knew I would see them again.
So nope your not the only one, not sure what it means though.

[TargeT]

I was wondering if anyone else has chosen to leave behind their loving families/friends?


Hate to use your same quote again, but a deeper aspect of "leaving behind" just occurred to me. That's also exactly what we are doing *personally* as the awakening process continues to unfold, steadily leaving bits and pieces of our old selves behind, and creating anew in their place.


At times I look around & notice that aside from my wife and my mom I have no close friends, no one I'm interested in checking up on; seeing how they are or what they are doing.

I have a lot of acquaintances I'm very social and out going; but most people are trying to interact with.. emotional projection and closed loop thought processes, ignorance masked in "knowledge", massive group think & greed, everywhere greed; the dark side of selfishness.

I go through life putting on different masks to sail through the smooth waters of expected social interactions and enforced normality; I bite my tongue and hold my opinion back (perhaps probing abit from time to time or nudging ideas, but not much else). I don't call my father very often he's "one of them" though a really nice man in certain ways.

I left everyone behind on accident 13 years ago when I moved to Alaska, and now I've left everyone but those I care about behind on purpose 7 months ago when I moved here.

I didn't leave angry or upset (maybe a touch disappointed) and I haven't really missed my "old life" nor even thought much of it.


This has been my experience, from my perspective I wouldn't say it was a bad thing; I'm still here for anyone that reaches out to me. I'm just not overly interested in interactions with people who now seem almost foreign to me.


I can see why the guru ascends the mountain... maybe one day I'll do the same.

[Conchis]

I would bet that a lot of us have had to deal with similar situations. We aren't exactly your group of average bears. I came to the conclusion that since they have no chance of understanding me, the least I can do is understand them. I don't say that because I'm better or superior, but I have lived they way they are living and they can't quite get a grip on how I'm living so I'm the only one of the two that knows both parts. I hope you don't give up entirely on your family, but by the same token, don't be disappointed if they never really get you.

[Poly Hedra]

I came to the conclusion that since they have no chance of understanding me, the least I can do is understand them.

Ditto! Same conclusion, they don't change, YOU do.

[Camilo]

Moving away from family and friends it's not selfish, it's as it should be. We come into this world through our family and we grow up with them and our friends, but it comes that time in life when you have to take your own path, as you're the only one responsible for it.

[Lifebringer]

Yes, there are several siblings that refuse to wake up and are comfortable living a façade of happiness, as long as the beer, or sex lasts.

I had to leave them alone, they drain energy, and stunt my growth. I end up cursing, they bring nasty spirits with them, that you can visibly see, if they dare stare you in the eye. The eyes wander back and forth never facing me as they talk, always looking around the room as if thinking of stuff as they say it/lies as they scheme.

I feel pity that they have the alcohol addiction, and don't cope with or without it well. They are heads of a family they neglected, and now find themselves not knowing their family or children.

prayers are all I can do, as I'm not that strong sometimes facing my own stressors, that come day to day, and aren't created by habit/alcohol addiction. Nasty blaickmailing scheming lying people, that I simply have to stay away from. Growing up, I've left states, knowing the addiction would keep them from traveling and following me.

Yes, we all have our crosses to bare when it comes to unconditional love. I can't be judgemental, because it's how you handle a substance, while under the influence. If they would have smoked pot, instead of crack, they'd have been a whole lot better, and more productive in life. For this, I pray for the children, because they are susceptible because it's still going on, and they are in their mid to late twenties, and if opportunities to gain a job don't happen legally, they will probably choose to sell illegally. That's the page, they are on, and thank God the black market for pot, is ending and legality to wean them off alcohol, can begin.

[BrianEn]

Sometimes you just need to follow your own path.

[Sunny-side-up]

Tune into new energies, go where your happy, go where you can grow.
Old roots that we grow from can become gnarled and congested, restricted and starving.
We put down new roots and energies that mix with the soil of the area we live in, choose where you lay your own roots and generate your fresh vital energies and live!

[Bassplayer1]

I have often contemplated leaving my family, and even my friends. Perhaps moving to another part of the globe, or entering a monastery. But I haven't done so. I don't always think about my existence in terms of re-incarnation, but when I do, I wonder "Did I know these people in previous existences? Do I have any kind of connection to them?" At times I feel a complete disconnect from them, a total lack of understanding about their desires, behaviors and motivations. Then, I wonder if my sense of what a relationship is comes from the fantasy world of television which sets up ridiculous expectations about what a relationship should be. At other times, I examine myself and am frightened how much I am like them.

In spite of the fact that a find myself here on planet Earth with a bunch of people who feel like familiar strangers, I am grateful to them and for what my relationship with them has taught me, even if these relationships are sometimes abusive or often feel empty. I have still learned from them, although I can't always tell you what the lesson was about, I know it's quite meaningful in a way my puny human consciousness can not understand.

I don't get a sense of why you need to leave them in your post. Is it because of what they can't or don't do for you, or for what you can't do for them? I have faith that we are put here on Planet Earth with certain individuals for a reason. It seems that your relationship with these people has stagnated. There might be good reasons to leave, if you think your time with them is over, but you might always consider the alternatives - just taking a break from them and coming back, might change the dynamic, or you might try and find different ways to interact. Perhaps you are here to challenge them - you might want to try engaging in different activities with them, communicating differently, just do whatever you can to shake things up. Don't look to them to improve the quality of your relationship, look to yourself - that you can rise to the challenge of bringing the relationship into new territory - this might be a lot less radical and maybe even more satisfying then leaving them all behind.

Thank you for your lovely feedback ... you have raised a point which I had over-looked ' Don't look to them to improve the quality of your relationship, look to yourself...' thank you!

[Bassplayer1]

Hi Fred! thank you for taking the time to reply ... you know, I think you're right about the rhythm to life ... I've sometimes wondered if we don't go with the flow, or don't take the time to understand our instincts and when to follow them, we block our Karma/path.... if we go with the flow then this means we may be fulfilling the path that we're meant to be on and learning from - does this make sense?

[Bassplayer1]

Hi Bassplayer, I too moved to Canada from the States, and my boyfriend moved from Germany to Canada --- we met here, and we have similar feelings towards our families. We are exactly on the same page, and have gone through the awakening process for the last ten years. This would never of happened if we stayed with our families in our own countries. We are disconnected on many levels with all who we have known before coming to Canada (although there is no anger between the family and ourselves and we do visit and skype etc). Sometimes we also wonder why we did move here, and wonder why we met. We also wonder if we did the right thing leaving family and friends, but its always the same conclusion we come to. We have decided that we were meant to be consorts in the awakening process together and by ourselves (it has been an extremely lonely road for us -- exactly not one person we know is even close to an understanding of what is going on and we have lost most of our friends) --- Most of the time, like you, we are indifferent to this fact, and the fact that we will never be connected to our families like we used to be.

When I read your post, my first reaction was that you instinctively knew it was time to leave and walk a different path. For what its worth, I think you did the right thing but you need to make peace with this fact --- It took me a very long time to do this so give yourself some time.

Hi Dianna and thank you for reading/replying ... and thank you for understanding. I'm sorry to hear when times have felt lonely;when no one has understood ... but I feel you and your boyfriend definitely did the right thing. Many people are frightened of change and they block this fear - or should I say, re-work this fear into ideas of attachment, duty, the way one should behave as a family member and friend. These ideas of what is right and wrong are nothing more than fear-based excuses towards change, letting go and exploration.
I'll say one thing though ... I gave up my UK life and came to Canada within six weeks - my flat, my job, family friends, 90% of my possessions etc ... and despite being on the receiving end of tension and anger from my folks ... underneath all that I felt completely calm ... and everything fell into place; help materialized each time it was needed - and lets face it, people always say that moving home, the end of relationships, leaving a job are (apparently) meant to be the most stressful of situations ... well, people like us (and I'm sure there are many) have dealt with all of these at once and moved thousands of miles away!! My inner calmness, clarity and the ease with which the situation quickly unfolded tells me (during my moments of wondering if I'm selfish) that I made the right decision. It feels that everything was put into place to make it a smooth transition. What's left is guilt. But you're right ... it takes time. I hope you and you're boyfriend feel safe and settled with your changes.

[Bassplayer1]

Done pretty much the same. Moved to a new country although I've been living away from home for 10 years on and off. I can relate to a lot of what you are describing. I find that being away from my family helps me appreciate them more, I visit, everyone is happy and being pleasant due to me and them being a novelty, it's great. I am quite different to the rest of my family, the weird one, with strange hair and clothes :) which means close proximity is not necessary. My friends and family get on my case for not being in contact enough, I just don't need it.
When my grandmother and grandfather died within a month of each other, i was very close to my grandfather but I didn't react the same way as everybody else. The reason was because I believed that they were both alive and well, on the other side, having a marvellous awakening and about to embark on a glorious journey. I felt excited and happy for them. I knew I would see them again.
So nope your not the only one, not sure what it means though.

Hello Conec and thank you for your reassurance ... I feel exactly the same way about my grandmother ... she's on to the next part of her journey ...

[Soda]

At times I look around & notice that aside from my wife and my mom I have no close friends, no one I'm interested in checking up on; seeing how they are or what they are doing.

I have a lot of acquaintances I'm very social and out going; but most people are trying to interact with.. emotional projection and closed loop thought processes, ignorance masked in "knowledge", massive group think & greed, everywhere greed; the dark side of selfishness.

I go through life putting on different masks to sail through the smooth waters of expected social interactions and enforced normality; I bite my tongue and hold my opinion back (perhaps probing abit from time to time or nudging ideas, but not much else). I don't call my father very often he's "one of them" though a really nice man in certain ways.


Hi TargeT,
Very well said! I feel the same way. ALL (yes, ALL) individuals I know “in real life” are 100% invested in their EGOS, and interested only in engaging in mindless controversy (sports, reality tv, celeb gossip). Yet it’s still sometimes difficult NOT to desire connection with others in social situations because my nature is to love others, and be giving and helpful.

Hi Bassplayer,
Frankly at this point I only bother to interact with family (all non-local) and others in my local community because of my obligation to my husband and son. Otherwise, I have no interest in expending my energy on any of them. I am not being condescending when I say that – as I was once myself very much engrossed in superficial reality and addicted to my VH1 and MTV. But once I moved past that, I never had the desire to go backward. As far as my parents go, slowly but surely I have lost emotional connection to them. It may sound harsh, but at this point, I feel I will have better luck “communicating” with them once they pass away. I feel as if I have surpassed the need to be close to someone founded only on the blood connection. It seems rather silly to be forced into a relationship based only on that.
Bassplayer, thank you so much for sharing your feelings and for being so honest!

[Robin]

Has anyone had any luck trying to wake friends and family up to reality?

It is so very difficult and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with my attempts. No one seems to want to listen and it hurts me because they are going to get hit so hard when the deck of cards fall.:der::loco:

All of my friends that contact me, I find it hard to talk to them. I feel like I would be lying to them if I did not at least mention the situation we are in as a society and as a species. I feel like I would be lying to them if I only engage in idle chat about every day things. I just feel increasingly worn out from the ignorance of humanity. Nonetheless I will do what I can to help....:ohwell:

The birds and the beasts and the plants and the insects seem to be my only friends as of late. They don't make fun of you or try to discount the nature of reality. They understand. :frog:

Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world like a ball and chain...:ballchain:

[Camilo]

Has anyone had any luck trying to wake friends and family up to reality?

It is so very difficult and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with my attempts. No one seems to want to listen and it hurts me because they are going to get hit so hard when the deck of cards fall.:der::loco:

All of my friends that contact me, I find it hard to talk to them. I feel like I would be lying to them if I did not at least mention the situation we are in as a society and as a species. I feel like I would be lying to them if I only engage in idle chat about every day things. I just feel increasingly worn out from the ignorance of humanity. Nonetheless I will do what I can to help....:ohwell:

The birds and the beasts and the plants and the insects seem to be my only friends as of late. They don't make fun of you or try to discount the nature of reality. They understand. :frog:

Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world like a ball and chain...:ballchain:

Welcome to the club!

[thalox]

My personal opinion is that everyone including myself can find every and any reason to make it be ok to leave. That is the easy way. That's their own choice and everyone makes it sound justified. Try doing it for a job you make money for. And I mean try leaving the life of making this money we all disagree with as fast as we can with our family. I focus on family only because family we did not choose. Me personally I stick with my family till the end. If my growth suffers a bit because I cannot get my family to understand I will just try harder. I love how project Avalon I always see posts about how we are all family yet we do not know each other but everyone's family they all have an excuse for. It boggles my mind. I see my growth but I focus on the collective growth of my loved ones. " you are only as strong as your weakest Link." Yet I see a lot of people here and everywhere else say they left their families behind for their own greater good. (Cutting off that weakest link.) I very rarely see someone say they left their family for the families greater good. I believe if PA is going to make a difference we need to stop justifying leaving our loved ones because they disagree with us. I read a lot of where someone knows more than someone else so they leave. That isa. Cop out for me. I could easily cash out and live in the mountains solo and be dandy but I will think of my loved ones I left behind. I'll be damned if I left them behind. It takes hard work to love and be there for your family. Friends come and go and you get to pick them. I believe that our families are put in our paths for a reason. You just have to stick it out and find out what why we are there for them or visa versa.

I am a proud individual of not leaving my family. I have no regrets yet I know I can live without them. I don't need them but I will forever want to be with them. I have more respect for someone who sticks to their family than for someone who traveled the world and learned it all and has '" it all". Just remember that those who have it all left someone behind for it unless they brought their families with them.

[Whiskey_Mystic]

It is so very difficult and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with my attempts. No one seems to want to listen and it hurts me because they are going to get hit so hard when the deck of cards fall.:der::loco:

All of my friends that contact me, I find it hard to talk to them. I feel like I would be lying to them if I did not at least mention the situation we are in as a society and as a species. I feel like I would be lying to them if I only engage in idle chat about every day things. I just feel increasingly worn out from the ignorance of humanity. Nonetheless I will do what I can to help....:ohwell:


My advice is to be careful of your own need to be mirrored. This leads to frustration and feelings of isolation. Sure, drop the bread crumbs. Those who are ready will pick them up and follow. those who are not will not. But if you try too hard and they are not ready, you will only run headlong into their belief systems. Let go of any attachment you might have to the outcome.

[Robin]

I think that the story of Merry and Pippin (the Lord of the Rings) is an excellent metaphor for us (people who are awake and aware) finally convincing others to join in the fight.

In this clip, think of Merry and Pippin as us and the Ents as family and friends. Sure, we are small, and it seems that the task at hand in saving humanity is a big and impossible feat, but the more and more people who wake up will produce a rippling effect throughout the world:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_mGFY5Nbqk

We just need to get to the heart of the matter and hit our friends and family where it touches them personally. People will not wake up unless they are personally affected, like the Ents when the decide to go to war when they realize that the forest is being destroyed. For the sleepers of the world, maybe it's best to find out what each individual is personally passionate about, then to give them information pertaining to their passion and how it is being undermined by our government:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaZmdZACMNo