lakewatcher
29th August 2013, 15:01
Over the last forty years, or so, I've been in many helping situations, giving and receiving. I'm sure that's true for most everyone. Well I noticed in those situations, especially when they involved the so called "helping professions" that the practical rules that were being applied often did not match the actual spiritual reality, and sometimes even actually interfered with the spiritual reality and needs in the given situation.
I decided to try to evolve a set of guidelines for myself that would match, as closely as I could, the realities of trying to assist someone spiritually, or receiving such help from someone else.
I realized, while doing this, that giving or receiving spiritual assistance is really a three way transaction involving the two people involved and also God overseeing the whole thing. So I named my set of guidelines "God is God is God," because all three parties in the transaction are expressions of the Supreme Being.
These guidelines keep evolving as my experience and understanding grows. But I'd like to post the current version of them, in case they would be of any help to anyone else here:
"GOD IS GOD IS GOD"
REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS
AND
HELPING EACH OTHER TO EVOLVE SPIRITUALLY
There are moments when the experiences we have had in life begin to gel in the understanding of our soul and we mature a bit toward our spiritual potential. Such moments may be painful, as when we finally face a fearful truth about ourselves that we may have avoided all our life, or they may be blissful, as when the light of understanding finally dawns where there was confusion before, or they may be peaceful, as when we glimpse, that however off track our life may have seemed at times, it may not have been quite so off track as we feared after all. I think that such moments are moments of personal spiritual evolution, moments of maturation, moments of waking up a bit and remembering somewhat of who we actually are and where we originally came from as spiritual beings. They are moments of returning home.
Personal spiritual evolution, or the process of our lower selves spiritually maturing and transforming into union, or actually reunion with The Supreme Being, with God, is, it seems to me, a process involving our response, from within the core of our beings, to some kind of prompting actions of the Divine from above. The experiences of this process may occur to us individually, when we are alone in communion with God and without the assistance of anyone else, as in the case of a personal prayer or meditation. But, sometimes the experiences of this process can be facilitated by the presence and assistance of another person or being acting in a supporting capacity. Whether such a helper is required in any given experience of spiritual evolution, I suspect, would probably depend upon the circumstances of that experience, and ultimately upon God's wisdom. But, I do believe that it is intended that we be of assistance to each other, from time to time, in this matter.
In any case, I feel that the principles of rendering such supportive help, when called upon to do so, are a matter worth serious consideration. When giving assistance with personal spiritual evolution to another person, or when receiving such assistance from another, the following guidelines, based on my experience, for me at least, seem to be helpful. This represents my best current understanding of this matter:
What the Helping Relationship Really Is
First of all, personal spiritual evolution is something that I think is ultimately only possible because of God's grace. This means that the process is really a miracle of some kind, involving a person who is ready to evolve, the grace of God making possible the evolution, and probably the person's request, at some level, for help. When assistance from another person is required in an evolutionary step, it is a privilege to be chosen to render that assistance. The choice of who should help is made, I suspect, from above by God, together with the person who is requesting the help, and may also involve their Higher Self, as well as the helper's Higher Self. It is a choice that you, the helper, may accept, but which you do not impose, or usually initiate. Such a choice, and the resulting helping relationship, is a three way expression of the divinity of God, that same divinity within the center of the other person and that same divinity within the center of yourself.
I have tried to state the essence of this relationship with the expression "God is God is God", and to visualize it with an equilateral triangle within a circle -- the points of the triangle representing God guiding the process from above, with you and the other person relating together below, all enclosed within the circle of Eternity:
22582
Now let's focus upon some of the specific aspects of this relationship:
We Should Attend to Our Own Affairs
The Chinese Book of Changes advises that, if you are in a supportive role, you go astray whenever you presume the initiative. And bj King makes the point in her writings that if you are really the right person to assist someone else in a spiritual experience, they will probably be lead by their own Higher guidance, when the time is right for them, to seek your help. I would say that it is the one who is taking the personal evolutionary step who has the right of initiative.
In actual practice, I think this means that we should never offer personal evolutionary help to someone else, but give it, rather, only when asked, and then only if the request is made responsibly. And even then, only if it really feels like the right thing to do.
There is perhaps an exception to this rule. I believe that we have the right to request Divine intervention in the case of someone who is acting in violation of cosmic or universal law, subject, of course, to God's judgment in the matter.
Have Respect for Boundaries
Respect yourself and your boundaries, as well as the boundaries of others. Don't violate another's boundaries when helping or allow your own to be violated on any plane, either physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually or sexually. Don't take liberties that have not been justly and properly granted and don't allow others such presumption. A request for help does not do away with the need for respect.
Know Your Real Place
Respect your self-creation and the self-creation of others and do not act as if you are more qualified to fill the role of creator for others than they are for themselves. Don't presume to act as another's Higher Self or allow someone else to presume that role for you. When you are assisting another in their personal evolution remember that your role is to assist not to direct, and that it is a privilege to assist, and that each person's spiritual evolution is an act of self-creation coming from within that person themselves and through the agency of that person's own Higher Power and ultimately descends from God.
Observe Equality
Have respect for the ultimate equality of others, and approach others as equals when helping with personal evolution and in life, and require this of those who would assist you with your evolution. Is God not God? The Hindus have a custom regarding this point. When they meet another person, they fold their hands, as in prayer, before themselves and bow to the other person in respect, often also saying the word "namaste." I understand that this gesture and word, roughly translated, are both the equivalent of saying: "I recognize and respect the divinity in the core of your being as the same divinity that is in the core of my being."
And Live With Integrity
In whatever way you approach helping someone else, practice what you preach; walk the walk of whatever talk you talk, and require this integrity of others who would help you.
Are You Spiritually Compatible?
While we all may ultimately come from the same spiritual source, we are not all necessarily following the same spiritual guidance at our present stage of development. So, observe spiritual compatibility. It may be harmful or frustrating to try to give or accept evolutionary help when the other person’s current spiritual guidance is incompatible or adversarial with your own.
Are You At Cross Purposes?
Make sure you are working toward compatible purposes. To try to give or accept evolutionary help when your intentions and the other person's intentions are in conflict, will likely lead to confusion and unhappy results.
Yes, You Have to be Honest
The conditions of honesty, with yourself or with another, seem to be necessary before personal spiritual evolution can take place. But honesty, I think, is a matter that is more complex than most common assessments of it allow for. For example, if you were stopped by the Gestapo during WWII, in Nazi Germany, and questioned whether you knew of the location of any fugitive Jews, would you really have wanted to be honest and told them that you were hiding a few of them in your sub-basement?
So, perhaps it's not a good idea to try to give or accept evolutionary help when you are in a situation where you can't trust the other person enough to be honest and straight with them, of if they won't be straight with you? Reality has to be taken into account. Your life, and others' lives may depend upon it.
Nevertheless, when the time for a spiritual step forward has come, the people involved must be honest with themselves and each other for the evolution to occur. It requires honest discernment to tell when the time is right.
Accept the Realities of the Experience
Experiences of personal spiritual evolution can certainly be inspiring steps forward for our soul, but they can also be emotionally painful at times. Whatever the nature of the particular experience, it is probably more helpful to be respectful of the reality of the experience, whatever that may be, than to be resistive. I think this is true for both the person having the evolutionary experience and for the person lending support. So, when you are giving support to someone going through an emotionally painful step, being respectful of their pain, I think, is better than trying to minimize the pain or trying to "fix" it for them. Also, when an evolutionary experience is joyful or inspiring, don't try to "hold on" to it and prolong it beyond the point of its natural conclusion. Doing this tends to diminish the quality of the experience, and can be offensive to the Holy Spirit -- that Spirit which makes our spiritual steps forward possible. In other words, it is important to learn when it is time to "let it be".
And be Flexible
When you act as support for another in an experience of personal spiritual evolution, the experience may well be transforming and evolutionary for you as well. While giving support we may in turn be helped ourselves; when accepting support, we may be assisting the one who helps us. Moreover, in such relationships, the roles can switch around; we may be the helper for a time, and then find the shoe on the other foot later. And when conditions are just right, I think that this giving and receiving of help can have a wonderful flowing quality to it. Sort of like, as Fred Steeves says, a graceful dance.
And Patient
Cultivate patience with God, with yourself and with others. Don't try to hurry the evolution of yourself or another, or allow yourself to be hurried. People awaken when they are ready. The Chinese Book of Changes makes the metaphorical point that to "crow like a rooster" to help the sun to rise in the morning is foolish and leads to negative consequences. The sun rises of its own accord and does not need the rooster's crowing to "assist" it. Just think of how irritating it is when someone is trying to get you to see their light. Ultimately, their light is not superior to your own, nor is your own light ever really superior, in the end, to some one else's innermost light. Remember God is God is God.
***
Lastly, let me note here, lest I give the wrong impression, that through the course of my life, I have, at one time or another, violated every point mentioned above and often many of the points at once. And at the time of this writing, I still fall short of many of these guidelines, having much work left to do before achieving the ideals described above.
Eugene Earle
January 11, 2009 (last edited 8-29-13)
I decided to try to evolve a set of guidelines for myself that would match, as closely as I could, the realities of trying to assist someone spiritually, or receiving such help from someone else.
I realized, while doing this, that giving or receiving spiritual assistance is really a three way transaction involving the two people involved and also God overseeing the whole thing. So I named my set of guidelines "God is God is God," because all three parties in the transaction are expressions of the Supreme Being.
These guidelines keep evolving as my experience and understanding grows. But I'd like to post the current version of them, in case they would be of any help to anyone else here:
"GOD IS GOD IS GOD"
REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS
AND
HELPING EACH OTHER TO EVOLVE SPIRITUALLY
There are moments when the experiences we have had in life begin to gel in the understanding of our soul and we mature a bit toward our spiritual potential. Such moments may be painful, as when we finally face a fearful truth about ourselves that we may have avoided all our life, or they may be blissful, as when the light of understanding finally dawns where there was confusion before, or they may be peaceful, as when we glimpse, that however off track our life may have seemed at times, it may not have been quite so off track as we feared after all. I think that such moments are moments of personal spiritual evolution, moments of maturation, moments of waking up a bit and remembering somewhat of who we actually are and where we originally came from as spiritual beings. They are moments of returning home.
Personal spiritual evolution, or the process of our lower selves spiritually maturing and transforming into union, or actually reunion with The Supreme Being, with God, is, it seems to me, a process involving our response, from within the core of our beings, to some kind of prompting actions of the Divine from above. The experiences of this process may occur to us individually, when we are alone in communion with God and without the assistance of anyone else, as in the case of a personal prayer or meditation. But, sometimes the experiences of this process can be facilitated by the presence and assistance of another person or being acting in a supporting capacity. Whether such a helper is required in any given experience of spiritual evolution, I suspect, would probably depend upon the circumstances of that experience, and ultimately upon God's wisdom. But, I do believe that it is intended that we be of assistance to each other, from time to time, in this matter.
In any case, I feel that the principles of rendering such supportive help, when called upon to do so, are a matter worth serious consideration. When giving assistance with personal spiritual evolution to another person, or when receiving such assistance from another, the following guidelines, based on my experience, for me at least, seem to be helpful. This represents my best current understanding of this matter:
What the Helping Relationship Really Is
First of all, personal spiritual evolution is something that I think is ultimately only possible because of God's grace. This means that the process is really a miracle of some kind, involving a person who is ready to evolve, the grace of God making possible the evolution, and probably the person's request, at some level, for help. When assistance from another person is required in an evolutionary step, it is a privilege to be chosen to render that assistance. The choice of who should help is made, I suspect, from above by God, together with the person who is requesting the help, and may also involve their Higher Self, as well as the helper's Higher Self. It is a choice that you, the helper, may accept, but which you do not impose, or usually initiate. Such a choice, and the resulting helping relationship, is a three way expression of the divinity of God, that same divinity within the center of the other person and that same divinity within the center of yourself.
I have tried to state the essence of this relationship with the expression "God is God is God", and to visualize it with an equilateral triangle within a circle -- the points of the triangle representing God guiding the process from above, with you and the other person relating together below, all enclosed within the circle of Eternity:
22582
Now let's focus upon some of the specific aspects of this relationship:
We Should Attend to Our Own Affairs
The Chinese Book of Changes advises that, if you are in a supportive role, you go astray whenever you presume the initiative. And bj King makes the point in her writings that if you are really the right person to assist someone else in a spiritual experience, they will probably be lead by their own Higher guidance, when the time is right for them, to seek your help. I would say that it is the one who is taking the personal evolutionary step who has the right of initiative.
In actual practice, I think this means that we should never offer personal evolutionary help to someone else, but give it, rather, only when asked, and then only if the request is made responsibly. And even then, only if it really feels like the right thing to do.
There is perhaps an exception to this rule. I believe that we have the right to request Divine intervention in the case of someone who is acting in violation of cosmic or universal law, subject, of course, to God's judgment in the matter.
Have Respect for Boundaries
Respect yourself and your boundaries, as well as the boundaries of others. Don't violate another's boundaries when helping or allow your own to be violated on any plane, either physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually or sexually. Don't take liberties that have not been justly and properly granted and don't allow others such presumption. A request for help does not do away with the need for respect.
Know Your Real Place
Respect your self-creation and the self-creation of others and do not act as if you are more qualified to fill the role of creator for others than they are for themselves. Don't presume to act as another's Higher Self or allow someone else to presume that role for you. When you are assisting another in their personal evolution remember that your role is to assist not to direct, and that it is a privilege to assist, and that each person's spiritual evolution is an act of self-creation coming from within that person themselves and through the agency of that person's own Higher Power and ultimately descends from God.
Observe Equality
Have respect for the ultimate equality of others, and approach others as equals when helping with personal evolution and in life, and require this of those who would assist you with your evolution. Is God not God? The Hindus have a custom regarding this point. When they meet another person, they fold their hands, as in prayer, before themselves and bow to the other person in respect, often also saying the word "namaste." I understand that this gesture and word, roughly translated, are both the equivalent of saying: "I recognize and respect the divinity in the core of your being as the same divinity that is in the core of my being."
And Live With Integrity
In whatever way you approach helping someone else, practice what you preach; walk the walk of whatever talk you talk, and require this integrity of others who would help you.
Are You Spiritually Compatible?
While we all may ultimately come from the same spiritual source, we are not all necessarily following the same spiritual guidance at our present stage of development. So, observe spiritual compatibility. It may be harmful or frustrating to try to give or accept evolutionary help when the other person’s current spiritual guidance is incompatible or adversarial with your own.
Are You At Cross Purposes?
Make sure you are working toward compatible purposes. To try to give or accept evolutionary help when your intentions and the other person's intentions are in conflict, will likely lead to confusion and unhappy results.
Yes, You Have to be Honest
The conditions of honesty, with yourself or with another, seem to be necessary before personal spiritual evolution can take place. But honesty, I think, is a matter that is more complex than most common assessments of it allow for. For example, if you were stopped by the Gestapo during WWII, in Nazi Germany, and questioned whether you knew of the location of any fugitive Jews, would you really have wanted to be honest and told them that you were hiding a few of them in your sub-basement?
So, perhaps it's not a good idea to try to give or accept evolutionary help when you are in a situation where you can't trust the other person enough to be honest and straight with them, of if they won't be straight with you? Reality has to be taken into account. Your life, and others' lives may depend upon it.
Nevertheless, when the time for a spiritual step forward has come, the people involved must be honest with themselves and each other for the evolution to occur. It requires honest discernment to tell when the time is right.
Accept the Realities of the Experience
Experiences of personal spiritual evolution can certainly be inspiring steps forward for our soul, but they can also be emotionally painful at times. Whatever the nature of the particular experience, it is probably more helpful to be respectful of the reality of the experience, whatever that may be, than to be resistive. I think this is true for both the person having the evolutionary experience and for the person lending support. So, when you are giving support to someone going through an emotionally painful step, being respectful of their pain, I think, is better than trying to minimize the pain or trying to "fix" it for them. Also, when an evolutionary experience is joyful or inspiring, don't try to "hold on" to it and prolong it beyond the point of its natural conclusion. Doing this tends to diminish the quality of the experience, and can be offensive to the Holy Spirit -- that Spirit which makes our spiritual steps forward possible. In other words, it is important to learn when it is time to "let it be".
And be Flexible
When you act as support for another in an experience of personal spiritual evolution, the experience may well be transforming and evolutionary for you as well. While giving support we may in turn be helped ourselves; when accepting support, we may be assisting the one who helps us. Moreover, in such relationships, the roles can switch around; we may be the helper for a time, and then find the shoe on the other foot later. And when conditions are just right, I think that this giving and receiving of help can have a wonderful flowing quality to it. Sort of like, as Fred Steeves says, a graceful dance.
And Patient
Cultivate patience with God, with yourself and with others. Don't try to hurry the evolution of yourself or another, or allow yourself to be hurried. People awaken when they are ready. The Chinese Book of Changes makes the metaphorical point that to "crow like a rooster" to help the sun to rise in the morning is foolish and leads to negative consequences. The sun rises of its own accord and does not need the rooster's crowing to "assist" it. Just think of how irritating it is when someone is trying to get you to see their light. Ultimately, their light is not superior to your own, nor is your own light ever really superior, in the end, to some one else's innermost light. Remember God is God is God.
***
Lastly, let me note here, lest I give the wrong impression, that through the course of my life, I have, at one time or another, violated every point mentioned above and often many of the points at once. And at the time of this writing, I still fall short of many of these guidelines, having much work left to do before achieving the ideals described above.
Eugene Earle
January 11, 2009 (last edited 8-29-13)