Daughter of Time
30th October 2013, 19:28
I clearly remember Halloween in a small town in Italy where I spent the first years of my life. It was well known that this was the day of dead but it wasn't frightening at all. It was mysterious. I could feel a strange power in the air but was undisturbed by it.
Those who had lost a loved one in the previous 12 months would visit the cemetery before sunset if their loved one was buried locally. They would pray and light a candle on the gravesite. At dusk they would return home to await guests. The guests would be friends who would pay their respects on such an occasion. They would arrive bearing gifts of pomegranates and/or apples, figs and nuts. The host would offer the guests a glass of red wine and they would toast to the soul of the dead and consume the food that had been brought. It was a solemn occasion even if the host occasionally became a little bit trashed on account of drinking a glass of red wine with the arrival of every guest. If a little bit of drunkenness occurred, this was considered fine since it lessened the pain of the loss and the deceased was believed to understand that this was done in their honor.
When returning home from such visits I felt the darkness heavier than ever, mystical, powerful, but never frightening.
Many people claimed to have seen their loved ones, or friends who had passed, on that particular night. This was fully accepted. Some claimed to have seen processions of souls who would then disappear into the ether. This was doubted and sometimes scoffed at.
Upon arriving in North America, Halloween was very different. The first year here, I was barely a teen-ager when little ones costumed in very peculiar threads appeared at our door: "trick or treat". We didn't know what to make of it. So it was my duty to stand at the door and say "no speak English". Later we were informed of the custom and the following year we were prepared with candy for the children. We also learned that some found pins and razor blades in apples given to the children. Much vandalism happened to cars left on the streets. It was also a night of revenge as many experienced rocks flying through their windows, breaking the glass and leaving a mess in their homes. I found it all very strange.
As a young adult, I left that small city and moved to a larger one where I still live. This season became a very fun one for me then. The parties were great! Although there was consumption of alcohol and marihuana, no one at those parties ever went out of line. The spookiness was also all in rather good taste. The costumes were very creative, but never horrific. Those who hosted those Halloween parties were mindful to keep it fun but not out of hand as none of them were fans of violence. I had been unaware of what went on at other parties and out on the streets.
In 2004 I was asked to take a young child out for "trick or treat" as the mom would be at home dishing out candy and the dad was working late. I said I'd be very happy to oblige. I was shocked as I walked through those streets holding that child's hand tightly in my own. The child was too young and dazzled by everything and fortunately not very observant of the displays. The young children were all dressed in adorable costumes: princesses, pirates, animals, and other pretty things. But the young teen-agers shocked and disgusted me. Their costumes were bloody, graphic and horrific. I won't get into details because I imagine you all know what some of those "scary" costumes look like. Some of the houses were decorated in downright disgusting fashion with severed heads and body parts. I was so disturbed by this that I remained haunted after going home. The following day I became physically ill with a very high fever which lasted days. It took me weeks to recover from that illness.
In a conversation with my dear scientologist friend, he said my reaction was most likely a re-stimulation of horrors of past lives. I accepted this as being probably true. However, it did not assuage the anger I felt at what this holiday had become.
When I finally felt better I did something which is completely out of character. I visited a psychotherapist to discuss my feelings in regards to this experience. I told him that this is no longer an acknowledgement of the passing of the body, but a glorification of horror. He listened to me and told me that perhaps I could switch my attitude by seeing it as an acknowledgement of the horrors that happen in the world, and not a glorification of if. I accepted his wisdom, still, it did not fully assuage my anger and disgust.
I fully acknowledge that many horrors, unfortunately, happen in this world, but must we "glorify" it? Is it really necessary to decorate one's home with beheadings and disembowelments? What good does this do? What good does it do to the delicate psyches of the children who witness these atrocities, even if they are only plastic? It's still disturbing. The images must remain imbedded in their minds and this cannot but disturb the minds of the little ones.
Yesterday I ran into a neighbor who has a young child. He said he'd just taken her out to select a costume for Halloween. I asked him how he felt about his daughter being exposed to the gruesome images that some display. He said he wasn't bothered by it at all because the kids love getting candy and so the tradition goes on. I asked him how his daughter felt about it. He said that the first few years she lost some sleep but now she's accustomed to it so she doesn't mind. I asked him if he thinks it's healthy for a child to become accustomed to the visions of blood and guts and gore. He said it's probably good because it sparks their imagination. But what kind of imagination does it spark? He had no answer for that but regarded my attitude as abnormal!
Am I the abnormal one here?
Just before running into my neighbor I had gone for a walk down the nature trail since it was a beautiful, sunny day. To get to the trail I have to walk down a number of streets. And so I enjoyed the decorated houses with pumpkins, cob-webs, ghosts and goblins, black cats, and even the skeletons. We all have skeletons so this I don't mind. And then I came upon a big, beautiful house with large, bloody severed head with blood vessels hanging from the neck and a horrific expression on its face. It revolted me! I kept walking to go down the nature trail where a beautiful, black cat came running to me. This was a very well taken care of cat. She wore a jewel toned flea collar with rhinestones and a metal heart attached to it with identification. I petted her and picked her up. She didn't mind. She stroked her head against my cheek as if to tell me to chill out and not pay attention to what I'd just seen. I felt this cat was communicating with me to focus on the good, like the love she was giving me, and ignore the rest. It was all very strange. But I appreciated the presence and attention of the cat.
Still, I now dread this time of year because of displays of horror. What do these people think when they're decorating their homes with body parts? Do these people completely lack mindfulness while handling decomposing corpses, albeit plastic?
Am I being completely neurotic here?
And how do you feel about the way Halloween is celebrated these days?
Confusedly yours,
Daughter of Time
Those who had lost a loved one in the previous 12 months would visit the cemetery before sunset if their loved one was buried locally. They would pray and light a candle on the gravesite. At dusk they would return home to await guests. The guests would be friends who would pay their respects on such an occasion. They would arrive bearing gifts of pomegranates and/or apples, figs and nuts. The host would offer the guests a glass of red wine and they would toast to the soul of the dead and consume the food that had been brought. It was a solemn occasion even if the host occasionally became a little bit trashed on account of drinking a glass of red wine with the arrival of every guest. If a little bit of drunkenness occurred, this was considered fine since it lessened the pain of the loss and the deceased was believed to understand that this was done in their honor.
When returning home from such visits I felt the darkness heavier than ever, mystical, powerful, but never frightening.
Many people claimed to have seen their loved ones, or friends who had passed, on that particular night. This was fully accepted. Some claimed to have seen processions of souls who would then disappear into the ether. This was doubted and sometimes scoffed at.
Upon arriving in North America, Halloween was very different. The first year here, I was barely a teen-ager when little ones costumed in very peculiar threads appeared at our door: "trick or treat". We didn't know what to make of it. So it was my duty to stand at the door and say "no speak English". Later we were informed of the custom and the following year we were prepared with candy for the children. We also learned that some found pins and razor blades in apples given to the children. Much vandalism happened to cars left on the streets. It was also a night of revenge as many experienced rocks flying through their windows, breaking the glass and leaving a mess in their homes. I found it all very strange.
As a young adult, I left that small city and moved to a larger one where I still live. This season became a very fun one for me then. The parties were great! Although there was consumption of alcohol and marihuana, no one at those parties ever went out of line. The spookiness was also all in rather good taste. The costumes were very creative, but never horrific. Those who hosted those Halloween parties were mindful to keep it fun but not out of hand as none of them were fans of violence. I had been unaware of what went on at other parties and out on the streets.
In 2004 I was asked to take a young child out for "trick or treat" as the mom would be at home dishing out candy and the dad was working late. I said I'd be very happy to oblige. I was shocked as I walked through those streets holding that child's hand tightly in my own. The child was too young and dazzled by everything and fortunately not very observant of the displays. The young children were all dressed in adorable costumes: princesses, pirates, animals, and other pretty things. But the young teen-agers shocked and disgusted me. Their costumes were bloody, graphic and horrific. I won't get into details because I imagine you all know what some of those "scary" costumes look like. Some of the houses were decorated in downright disgusting fashion with severed heads and body parts. I was so disturbed by this that I remained haunted after going home. The following day I became physically ill with a very high fever which lasted days. It took me weeks to recover from that illness.
In a conversation with my dear scientologist friend, he said my reaction was most likely a re-stimulation of horrors of past lives. I accepted this as being probably true. However, it did not assuage the anger I felt at what this holiday had become.
When I finally felt better I did something which is completely out of character. I visited a psychotherapist to discuss my feelings in regards to this experience. I told him that this is no longer an acknowledgement of the passing of the body, but a glorification of horror. He listened to me and told me that perhaps I could switch my attitude by seeing it as an acknowledgement of the horrors that happen in the world, and not a glorification of if. I accepted his wisdom, still, it did not fully assuage my anger and disgust.
I fully acknowledge that many horrors, unfortunately, happen in this world, but must we "glorify" it? Is it really necessary to decorate one's home with beheadings and disembowelments? What good does this do? What good does it do to the delicate psyches of the children who witness these atrocities, even if they are only plastic? It's still disturbing. The images must remain imbedded in their minds and this cannot but disturb the minds of the little ones.
Yesterday I ran into a neighbor who has a young child. He said he'd just taken her out to select a costume for Halloween. I asked him how he felt about his daughter being exposed to the gruesome images that some display. He said he wasn't bothered by it at all because the kids love getting candy and so the tradition goes on. I asked him how his daughter felt about it. He said that the first few years she lost some sleep but now she's accustomed to it so she doesn't mind. I asked him if he thinks it's healthy for a child to become accustomed to the visions of blood and guts and gore. He said it's probably good because it sparks their imagination. But what kind of imagination does it spark? He had no answer for that but regarded my attitude as abnormal!
Am I the abnormal one here?
Just before running into my neighbor I had gone for a walk down the nature trail since it was a beautiful, sunny day. To get to the trail I have to walk down a number of streets. And so I enjoyed the decorated houses with pumpkins, cob-webs, ghosts and goblins, black cats, and even the skeletons. We all have skeletons so this I don't mind. And then I came upon a big, beautiful house with large, bloody severed head with blood vessels hanging from the neck and a horrific expression on its face. It revolted me! I kept walking to go down the nature trail where a beautiful, black cat came running to me. This was a very well taken care of cat. She wore a jewel toned flea collar with rhinestones and a metal heart attached to it with identification. I petted her and picked her up. She didn't mind. She stroked her head against my cheek as if to tell me to chill out and not pay attention to what I'd just seen. I felt this cat was communicating with me to focus on the good, like the love she was giving me, and ignore the rest. It was all very strange. But I appreciated the presence and attention of the cat.
Still, I now dread this time of year because of displays of horror. What do these people think when they're decorating their homes with body parts? Do these people completely lack mindfulness while handling decomposing corpses, albeit plastic?
Am I being completely neurotic here?
And how do you feel about the way Halloween is celebrated these days?
Confusedly yours,
Daughter of Time