The Cricket Thread (for Whinging Poms and Aussie *******s only)

[jackovesk]

Aaaawwe....for (Crying Out Loud) its just a game of Cricket between two Countries...))))))

Vaughany did a quick news piece this morning defending Clarke and pointing out Clarke did not
want to really break Andersons arm, it was the usual 'mind games ' all cricket teams have done
& do over the years.....


it was the usual 'mind games ' all cricket teams have done
& do over the years.....

Exactly...:faint:

[ponda]

Landy Assists Fallen Rival And Still Wins… 1956

In a famous event at the Australian National Championships of 1956, John Landy, the mile world record holder at the time,stops mid race to see if a fallen Ron Clarke (future multi world record breaker) is okay. On finding out he's fine, Landy takes off and wins the race! If the sayng that "actions speak louder than words" to determine a persons character is true, then Landy is both a true sportsman and one helluva good guy! Respect.

4LZK5YbJkYQ

[jackovesk]

Michael Clarke leapt to defence of George Bailey after Jimmy Anderson made "Assault Threat"....

November 26, 2013 12:00AM

ENGLAND'S serial sledger (Jimmy Anderson threatened to assault George Bailey), igniting the Australians and prompting Michael Clarke to intervene as the first Test drew to a tense conclusion in Brisbane on Sunday.

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2013/11/26/1226768/386253-f5734644-5617-11e3-8974-69a7d7a3124c.jpg
Stand-off: James Anderson and George Bailey exchange words at the Gabba. Warne, who could hear what was said over Channel Nine's stump microphone, tweeted Anderson said he wanted to punch Bailey in the face. Photo: Getty Images


The Australian captain walked up from second slip to confront Anderson after the England veteran told Bailey at short leg that he was going to "Punch" the Tasmanian.


Cricket Australia chief executive James Sutherland has spoken to Clarke about the incident.


There is a mixture of bemusement and disbelief among the Australians that Anderson complained to the umpires about the treatment he was receiving when he is England's worst sledger and most unpopular player as a result.

"I'm not one to say much, I'm pretty quiet out there. I'm not a big talker," Bailey said after returning to Hobart on Monday.

He did not know why Anderson was so annoyed.

"He must have just been a bit upset about the way the game was going I guess," said Bailey.

"It just happened that microphones picked up those words (of Clarke). There is a lot going on that you don't hear as well."

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/cricket/michael-clarke-leapt-to-defence-of-george-bailey-after-jimmy-anderson-made-assault-threat/story-fni2fnmo-1226768120753

......................................

Ashes 2013: Shane Warne says James Anderson threatened to punch George Bailey in the face

November 26, 2013

Shane Warne has accused James Anderson of threatening to punch George Bailey in the face, and defended skipper Michael Clarke for stepping in to support the Test debutant.

As the fallout continued after the dramatic and controversial finish to the first Test, it emerged on Monday that Anderson's treatment of Bailey sparked the fiery exchange between Clarke and the England pace spearhead. And David Warner weighed into the drama, describing Anderson as "arrogant".

In developments late on Monday, Warne claimed in a series of tweets that Anderson had told Bailey, who was fielding in close, that he wanted to punch the Tasmanian in the face.


"@MClarke23 stuck up for his debutant Bailey as he should have too as Capt after Anderson said he wanted to punch Bailey in the face!" wrote Warne, who as a commentator with Channel Nine was privy to what was heard on the sound effects microphones.



https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000276958890/a7dcc2c93e812d7cf5f8129923c6c154_bigger.jpeg"On another note, I think it's a disgrace that @MClarke23 has been fined. What about what Jimmy Anderson said to Bailey, which wasn't heard.

"Unfortunately only Clarke's reaction to Anderson's was heard live, we all heard Anderson's sledge that led to Clarke reacting!

"To me it should just stay out in the middle. They all shook hands had a giggle & moved on. By fining Clarke it's made a big deal out of it."


Bailey was tight-lipped when asked about the incident in Hobart on Monday. "Not sure, he must have been a bit upset by the way the game was going, I guess," Bailey said.

Warner described as "bizarre" the circumstances which prompted Anderson to approach Bailey, who could be seen on the broadcast exchanging words with the batsman.

"I think the boys were giving Jimmy a bit of banter because he came out and targeted the new guy," Warner said. "I don't know what was said between them but it was a bit random - it's his debut. The other guys probably looked at it as if Jimmy Anderson was targeting the new guy in a way, so the senior boys like Michael and Watto probably gave a little back to him."

Warner declared Australia's aggression towards England would continue and warned the vanquished tourists he would be ready for whatever they serve up to him in Adelaide.

Warner said Anderson, England's second leading Test wicket-taker, had every right to be arrogant with the ball – but less so when batting where he averages 10.4 from 88 matches.

"You can say some people are arrogant, on the field you play with arrogance, he is definitely one of those players who is a world class bowler and he's got the skills - he can be arrogant," Warner said on Monday.

"He's deserved it, he's got 300 Test wickets but when he comes out to bat it's a different story because he's not that good at plain fast bowling and the guys wanted to play a bit of Mickey Mouse with him yesterday."

The Australians took extra glee at Anderson's discomfort at the crease, particularly as the paceman is not short of a word to opposition batsmen with ball in hand. His meek dismissal, to a top edge fending at a short ball from Mitchell Johnson, will ensure Australia will continue their ploy of using bouncing the England tail.

"It's quite funny when the bowlers come in because you know from our bowling point of view, and same thing with them, you try and bounce their bowlers," Warner said.

"You try and get everyone on the back foot and that's how you try and get them out. Yesterday the boys were full of energy, we needed one wicket to win with Jimmy coming out.

"We know he likes to give a little bit of lip and we all do but sometimes he doesn't take it. He doesn't talk when he's out there batting but when he's bowling he's always full of talk. It's good to get a bit of banter on top of him as well."

Warner's comments about Anderson will add further spice to his relationship with the English team.The dynamic opener, however, said he would cop his medicine from the English attack.

"I'm ready to tackle whatever they throw at me, we're all professionals, we all should cop it on the chin," Warner said. "You're copping it from all angles whether you're in form or you're not in form. I think it's gotten to them a little bit. We saw yesterday with Mitch's spell as well. The bounce and pace on that wicket I'll say it probably scared them a little bit more.

"Come Adelaide we'll need a different plan because it's not as fast and bouncy but come Perth it'll be another thing like the bumper barrage in Queensland."

http://www.theage.com.au/sport/cricket/ashes-2013-shane-warne-says-james-anderson-threatened-to-punch-george-bailey-in-the-face-20131125-2y6ag.html

PS - Arrhh - Finally the (TRUTH) surfaces...:clap2:

In my 'Eye's you wouldn't be much of a Captain &/or Leader if you couldn't even (Stand Up) for one of your own teammates...:nono:

So there you have it - The (TRUTH)...

Now lets get on with the Cricket and the (Rest) of the Ashes Series - Shall we, before I start to losing my temper with this Media Beat-Up...:faint:

If its (TOO HOT) in the kitchen, then get the "Fk" out...!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[varuna]

PS - Arrhh - Finally the (TRUTH) surfaces...

...I don't think we will ever know what the truth is?...particularly if we rely on the reports in the MSM...there is both good and bad on both sides, what we do know if that there is a lot at stake here...the aussies won't want a humiliating defeat at home and the Brits just hate losing to the aussies full stop...what I have observed particularly since the Flintoff era is a lack of friendly banter off the field between players...there was a begrudging respect for each other..no sure that is still around..

[panopticon]

PS - Arrhh - Finally the (TRUTH) surfaces...

...I don't think we will ever know what the truth is?...particularly if we rely on the reports in the MSM...there is both good and bad on both sides, what we do know if that there is a lot at stake here...the aussies won't want a humiliating defeat at home and the Brits just hate losing to the aussies full stop...what I have observed particularly since the Flintoff era is a lack of friendly banter off the field between players...there was a begrudging respect for each other..no sure that is still around..

I agree though would point out the Poms started it all. :P

It's their fault! :whip:
1932 was the start :brick:
Aussies will never forget what was done to the Don and Oldfield... :agree:

2NwV1z9HtTI
If you watch to the end of this clip it talks about the Aussie crowd cheered Larwood when he got to 98 in the last test. That is what confuses non-Australians, Aussies usually recognise good play, but abhor what they view as unsportsmanlike behaviour.
So it's all the poms fault :P

-- Pan

[panopticon]

Now for a cracker from Denis Carnahan:

RcQ3ptLUiw8
On the news about Trott, Denis twittered (https://twitter.com/DenisCarnahan):


My thoughts and best wishes go with Jonathan Trott.
I hope I'm not to blame.
I might have underestimated the power of pantomime.
-- Pan

[Bill Ryan]

40 years ago when I was a kid playing junior Cricket, there would be sledging, a few swear words thrown in and you'd all have a chat after the game...

Now the Brits say "Its all about Sportsmanship"...



But here's what I mean. Let's look at some examples of sledging in other sports. After all, this goes on all the time, right?

Tennis:

Federer to Nadal, throwing up the ball to serve at break point in the Wimbledon final.

"Raf, your flies are undone!"

Soccer:

Champions League Final, Barcelona vs Man Utd. Messi is about to take a penalty. de Gea is poised. Puyol, Barca's captain, yells:

"Hey, David! Lionel always goes for the left corner!

Climbing:

In the world cup indoor climbing competition. Chris Sharma, dangling by two fingers, is poised to make a dynamic move for the top hold to claim the title. Adam Ondra shouts:

"Chris! Your shoelace is undone!

Chess:

Kasparov to Karpov. (Karpov's move, deep in silent concentration).

"Anatoly, you look tired. I'm going to mate in six, and you still can't see it. You wanna strong cup of coffee?"



Get it? This would and could never happen. If it did, there'd be hell to pay. I invite you to make up your own examples. :)

This only happens in cricket. And it's meant to be a gentleman's game.

The truth is that it's not: it's a game of not only skill but machismo, and something went very wrong with it quite a long time ago.

(More truth: it was probably all Bradman's fault. Seriously: he was way too good by far. Hence Bodyline. The Aussies still talk about that, and have not forgiven... two generations ago. I suspect, but do not know, that that's how the psyche war started, and there's no end in sight.)

[panopticon]

(More truth: it was probably all Bradman's fault. Seriously: he was way too good by far. Hence Bodyline. The Aussies still talk about that, and have not forgiven... two generations ago. I suspect, but do not know, that that's how the psyche war started, and there's no end in sight.)

It's taught here that The Don and Oldfield were savaged by Jardine and the pommie elite as they couldn't stand that The Don, a mere upstart colonial, was so much better than them.

The telegrams between the MCC and the Australian cricketing establishment, in addition to the political pressure exerted through loans granted during the depression, are used as examples of the evils of English colonialism.

It's also a bed time story used to scare children. "It wasn't Larwood's fault little mate, he was used by the English elite and he was scared for the life of his family if he didn't as he was told."

Be afraid of the MCC boogey man...

Maybe it was just my family... :madgrin:

[Cidersomerset]

Yes Pan it started many years ago when they appointed that 'Dastardly Villain' Terry Thomas
Head of over sea's sports development in the 'Empire office' with a remit to seek out any good
promising players and pinching them to play for ' good old Blighty' by any means possible
by fair means or foul. Even dodgy birth certificates, if Barak was any good at cricket since his
father was a Kenyan Brit, he'd be in !!

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTEE0bGJTdlVxB6J3QZigvIFfxAPGLvQucPnlqbFREgRLXWiFu1


After being demobbed after WW1 and recovering from his almost ' mortal ' wounds in the last
episode. Baldrick got a job as Terry Thomas's 'Batman' and many a scheme was hatched on the
unsuspecting former colonies...

http://www.blogcdn.com/nintendo.joystiq.com/media/2008/08/baldrick-100-main99.jpg

So began many years of supplementing local talent with new blood to play for Queen & countries ...

Now the Aussies were on to this and in spite of having a team full of 'real English' names...

They have managed to keep all 'Cunning plans at bay' ....So far !!

Rogers
Warner
Watson
Clarke
Smith
Bailey
Haddin
Johnson
Siddle
Harris
Lyon


With new DNA techniche's the The Enlish sports
family tree is branching out !!

http://www.public.iastate.edu/~cfford/Indoeuropean%20language%20family%20tree.jpg

[jackovesk]

40 years ago when I was a kid playing junior Cricket, there would be sledging, a few swear words thrown in and you'd all have a chat after the game...

Now the Brits say "Its all about Sportsmanship"...



But here's what I mean. Let's look at some examples of sledging in other sports. After all, this goes on all the time, right?

Tennis:

Federer to Nadal, throwing up the ball to serve at break point in the Wimbledon final.

"Raf, your flies are undone!"

Soccer:

Champions League Final, Barcelona vs Man Utd. Messi is about to take a penalty. de Gea is poised. Puyol, Barca's captain, yells:

"Hey, David! Lionel always goes for the left corner!

Climbing:

In the world cup indoor climbing competition. Chris Sharma, dangling by two fingers, is poised to make a dynamic move for the top hold to claim the title. Adam Ondra shouts:

"Chris! Your shoelace is undone!

Chess:

Kasparov to Karpov. (Karpov's move, deep in silent concentration).

"Anatoly, you look tired. I'm going to mate in six, and you still can't see it. You wanna strong cup of coffee?"



Get it? This would and could never happen. If it did, there'd be hell to pay. I invite you to make up your own examples. :)

This only happens in cricket. And it's meant to be a gentleman's game.

The truth is that it's not: it's a game of not only skill but machismo, and something went very wrong with it quite a long time ago.

(More truth: it was probably all Bradman's fault. Seriously: he was way too good by far. Hence Bodyline. The Aussies still talk about that, and have not forgiven... two generations ago. I suspect, but do not know, that that's how the psyche war started, and there's no end in sight.)

Guess What Bill,

This whole issue of 'Sportsmanship' wouldn't have raised its ugly head to the heights that it has, if England didn't have such a (SHOCKING) performance in the 1st Test...


Balmy Hey Bill...:director: Jimmy - Jimmy - Jimmy ---- Jimmy Andersen


...and another thing

I am much more interested in the 'Sporting Contest' rather than the onfield 'Sledging' that goes way back to the day when the (Bails were Burnt to Ashes)..!


What happens on the field, stays on the field..!

What happens on Tour, stays on Tour..!

PS - Its the (MSM MEDIA) Bill...:yes4:

These types of stories (SELL) papers...:yes4:

PSS - I take it for what it actually is :bs: :yes4:

All I'm interested in is the 'Sporting Contest' & I'll leave the rest of it to those who have never really played sport at an elite level...

Storm in a Bloody (Teacup)...:tea:

[jackovesk]

I must say Bill, just how apt your Thread (Heading) actually is...


The Cricket Thread (for Whinging Poms and Aussie *******s only)

I'm pretty sure (ALL) would agree...:yes4:

Only 7 more sleeps before the next (BATTLE) begins...:target:

For some of you Cricket Fans, may not realize that the (Adelaide Oval) one of the world's most picturesque grounds has had yet another makeover...

Adelaide’s Architecture Redevelopment

http://designbuildsource.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Adelaide-Joins-the-Redevelopment-Trend.jpg

Adelaide is latest Australian city to undergo major redevelopments. The South Australian capital is joining the likes of Perth in redeveloping the city culture. This will be achieved by focussing on promoting a new and modern metropolis through updated architecture and construction initiatives.

As in Perth, the central city hub will revolve around waterways. What has been aptly named the Adelaide Riverbank Precinct, this new area will abut the River Torrens, along with the North Adelaide Parklands, Adelaide Oval, and Memorial Drive. In fact the plans are for the city centre to stretch from King William Road, all the way to the Old Adelaide Gaol.

The first stage of the upgrade will be the $350 million government funded expansion to the Adelaide Convention Centre. Adelaide Now reported that the multi-million project will include 4300 sqm multi-purpose convention space and a 1000 seat ballroom. The latter will be built above the rail line, and will be connected to the convention space by smaller meeting areas. The completion date for initial stages is September 2014.

The second stage of the upgrade will involve the construction of a “high tech arrow structure” that will be able to accommodate 3,500 people. The second stage has a completion date somewhere in 2017.

A culmination of architects Woods Bagot and London-based Larry Oltmans of Vx3 have overseen the architecture and design of the projects.

South Australia Infrastructure reported that the state government has committed a further $535 million to upgrade Adelaide Oval alone, in an effort to update the sporting culture of the area. The government are hoping that through the upgrade they will be able to enable the city play host to both football and rugby games at the oval.

Like further Australian cities the development is effort to create and revitalise a new sense of culture. Further reportage noted that Premier Mike Rann was confident that update would revolutionise the city.

“These developments are going to change the face of Adelaide”, Mr. Rann said.

Government members have state planning initiatives that will total at over $1.9 billion over the next 25 years. These will be undertaken in order to promote growth and aid in tourism efforts.

Further planning includes retail, restaurants and accommodation.

Any undertaking that promotes the growth of both a city centre and the industry at large is positive for the country at large. With Adelaide joining Melbourne and Perth in the redevelopment ranks it will now be up to the rest of the countries major cities to join the get planning.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8zj7JknvA4&feature=player_embedded
http://designbuildsource.com.au/adelaides-architecture-redevelopment

PS - May the (Best 'Cricket' Team) & (NOT) the (Best 'Sledging' Team) Win...:)

All the best from the (Aussie BASTARD)...:neo: :peace:

[Hazel]

All I know is..

the Pommies balls must be off!

Poor B***ers

[araucaria]

More like the Adelaide horseshoe - a lucky charm of some kind? I am disappointed.

[panopticon]

Kangaroo's defeated Kiwi's 34-2 to win World Cup (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-01/kangaroos-hand-kiwis-a-masterclass-to-win-world-cup/5127200).
Wallabies defeated Wales (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-01/wallabies-see-off-wales-in-thriller/5127212) 30-26.

Draw between Chairman's XI & England in Alice Springs. England, once again, had a mediocre top order 1st batting Innings.

-- Pan

[varuna]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25166475

...here we go, Panesar latest

The ground announcer for England's drawn tour match in Alice Springs was stood down by Cricket Australia for racially mocking Monty Panesar during day two of the game.
David Nixon introduced the England spinner in an Indian accent when he came on to bowl.
Left-armer Panesar was born in Luton and is of Indian descent.
"Cricket Australia deemed the conduct of the PA announcer as inappropriate," a CA spokesman said.
Nixon, a producer for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC), had been using a sarcastic tone throughout the match against the CA Chairman's XI and was cautioned during Friday's play for teasing England batsman Joe Root.
"You can go and have another drink now, Joe," Nixon commented when Root was dismissed.
The England batsman, who was punched by Australia's David Warner in a Birmingham bar before the summer Ashes, repeatedly called for drinks during his first innings in temperatures of up to 39C.
In the post-match news conference, England's stand-in captain Ian Bell said he was unaware of the incident, while Panesar did not hear the remarks.

...well you did say we were 'winging poms' :p

oh and by the way I think Monty is great...I hope he makes the team this time...:kiss:

[jackovesk]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25166475

...here we go, Panesar latest

The ground announcer for England's drawn tour match in Alice Springs was stood down by Cricket Australia for racially mocking Monty Panesar during day two of the game.
David Nixon introduced the England spinner in an Indian accent when he came on to bowl.
Left-armer Panesar was born in Luton and is of Indian descent.
"Cricket Australia deemed the conduct of the PA announcer as inappropriate," a CA spokesman said.
Nixon, a producer for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC), had been using a sarcastic tone throughout the match against the CA Chairman's XI and was cautioned during Friday's play for teasing England batsman Joe Root.
"You can go and have another drink now, Joe," Nixon commented when Root was dismissed.
The England batsman, who was punched by Australia's David Warner in a Birmingham bar before the summer Ashes, repeatedly called for drinks during his first innings in temperatures of up to 39C.
In the post-match news conference, England's stand-in captain Ian Bell said he was unaware of the incident, while Panesar did not hear the remarks.

...well you did say we were 'winging poms' :p

oh and by the way I think Monty is great...I hope he makes the team this time...:kiss:



David Nixon introduced the England spinner in an Indian accent when he came on to bowl.


This is (NOT) a personal swipe at you varana...:nono:


Its my Opinion/Observation I see as a (Core Problem) across the world...

See this is the (Real Difference) between the Aussies & the Brits...

We know how to (Take the Piss) out of ourselves, whilst our (Sense of Humor) remains in tact (Without) the (Groupthink) & (Political Correctness) and I might add, without the PTW (GUILT-TRIP) that comes with it...!!!!!!!!!!!

Unlike a lot of other Countries who have been induced by the (Corrupt Political Ideologies) 'Progressive (Leftoid) attitude that Fking (ALWAYS) give themselves any chance they can get to try an turn it into some kind of (Pathetic)...

:director: Race WAR...:faint:

Richie Benaud & Mahatma Cote say (ENOUGH)...!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUWEjPXyqcU
PS - The TRUTH about (RACISM)...




1. Man first congregated in (TRIBES) depending Race, Skin Color & Ethnicity right..!
2. Tell me what's changed..? i.e. If your a travelling Aussie or anyone for that matter you always find comfort in congregating with like minded (Expats) when on foreign soil. Its a natural thing to do right..!

Its centuries old (Tribalism) that is ingrained into (Everyone's) DNA, which has been turned on its head by the PTW into that term labeled (Racism)..!!!


So this in turn leads to the (RACISM) question, which has been hung, drawn, quartered & slaughtered to the whim of the PTW that always want us fighting against one another..!

Its (Old) its growing (Tiresome) and its (Fking STuPID) and quite frankly I've had (Enough) of it...!!!!!! :mad2:

[varuna]

So this in turn leads to the (RACISM) question, which has been hung, drawn, quartered & slaughtered to the whim of the PTW that always want us fighting against one another..!

Its (Old) its growing (Tiresome) and its (Fking STuPID) and quite frankly I've had (Enough) of it...!!!!!!

...thank you for your passionate response jackovesk...and no I didn't take offence...my point in posting that article was really an observation that the PTB, press or whoever are using an incident with Monty to stir up the rivalry and bad feeling prior to the match...completely unnecessary as it is there is bucket loads anyway!!!...as I said it was more of an observation...

A quote from Montys' book..i smile to myself, too, when people say that i am different. I consider myself to be very normal indeed.. I do not know how it feels to be anything else, not to wear the patka, have a beard and follow my faith. no doubt the beard will turn grey and I will wear a turban, like my father, but otherwise I do not expect much will change. I feel so proud when Sikh people I have never met before stop me in the street to say that their mates at work call them by the nickname 'Monty'.. Monty Panesar - Monty's turn, taking my chances....just a regular nice guy..

..also he reminds me of me on the cricket field sometimes..(not anywhere near the same league)... his fumbling s around on the boundary..:bowl::embarassed:

[panopticon]

David Nixon has denied that he said anything offensive or that he introduced Panesar with an Indian Accent (source (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-02/ashes3a-abc-ground-announcer-denies-racial-slur-against-monty-/5129620)).

In addition no-one who was there reported hearing it either (including the English commentators).

IMO just typical uptight lil wannabees who wanted things to be their way.

He was cautioned ffs for referring to the on ground team warm-ups as "interpretive dance".

Cricket Australia officials must all be from inner Sydney...

-- Pan

[jackovesk]

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2013/12/03/1226774/438341-adelaide-oval-reborn.jpg

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/special-features/adelaide-oval

[Bill Ryan]

-------

Just as every Avalonian other than a hardened few were hoping that the cricket thread had suffered the same fate as Comet Ison, I have bad news for them: the second 5-day Test Match (out of the series of five, ending next month) starts in less than 10 hours time.

This contest now threatens to be more engaging than the Hunger Games, with Australian David Warner as the new villain (who, having insulted respected English Batsman Jonathan Trott, before he flew home suffering from Chronic Depression, wouldn't know what a line was that he shouldn't cross if it hit him on the head).

The English team are all quietly very p*ssed, and equally determined to show the upstart Aussies (a) who the gentlemen are, and (b) who the better cricketers are. Former Aussie skipper Ian Chappell has even said (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/theashes/10477322/Ashes-2013-14-Fisticuffs-will-break-out-between-England-and-Australia-if-sledging-isnt-dealt-with-says-Ian-Chappell.html) he's worried about physical violence breaking out on the field if 'sledging' (the strategic verbal harassment of batsmen specifically intended to disturb their concentration) wasn't dealt with.

Might be an interesting game coming up...
(<-- an English understatement)

[varuna]

"We will play it tough on the field but the respect, as I said after the first Test match, hasn't changed one bit"

Australia Captain - Michael Clarke

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25211487

.....:peace: or possibly :flypig:

regardless...:couch2: let the battle begin!

[jackovesk]

-------

Just as every Avalonian other than a hardened few were hoping that the cricket thread had suffered the same fate as Comet Ison, I have bad news for them: the second 5-day Test Match (out of the series of five, ending next month) starts in less than 10 hours time.

This contest now threatens to be more engaging than the Hunger Games, with Australian David Warner as the new villain (who, having insulted respected English Batsman Jonathan Trott, before he flew home suffering from Chronic Depression, wouldn't know what a line was that he shouldn't cross if it hit him on the head).

The English team are all quietly very p*ssed, and equally determined to show the upstart Aussies (a) who the gentlemen are, and (b) who the better cricketers are. Former Aussie skipper Ian Chappell has even said (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/theashes/10477322/Ashes-2013-14-Fisticuffs-will-break-out-between-England-and-Australia-if-sledging-isnt-dealt-with-says-Ian-Chappell.html) he's worried about physical violence breaking out on the field if 'sledging' (the strategic verbal harassment of batsmen specifically intended to disturb their concentration) wasn't dealt with.

Might be an interesting game coming up...
(<-- an English understatement)

G'Day Bill,


This contest now threatens to be more engaging than the Hunger Games, with Australian David Warner as the new villain (who, having insulted respected English Batsman Jonathan Trott, before he flew home suffering from Chronic Depression, wouldn't know what a line was that he shouldn't cross if it hit him on the head).

I might add Bill,

In Davey Warner's defence, when he made that comment. He had absolutely (NO IDEA) the mental condition Jonathan Trott was in...:nono:

On the Cricket...

A (GREAT) toss to win :target: batting on wicket Warney described as (Flat as a Road)..! :)

C'mon Aussie C'mon

Oh No, just as I am replying to you post, Davey Warner just got out for 29...:faint:

No to worry (Shane Watson) is due...:yes4:

[varuna]

....oh dear, what was I saying about fumbling!!!:ohwell:

[panopticon]

Australia had quite a good day and then the poms didn't.

Never mind. It's only a game isn't it.

I hope that made the poms here feel better about the situation.

:second: isn't that bad now is it...

Still a long way to go though and who knows, England might be able to hold out for a draw...

-- Pan

[panopticon]

BTW, I felt sorry for Stokes when he almost got his first test wicket (Haddin @ 51).
That soon wore off when he got agro at Haddin (lucky the ump stepped in).
Not Haddin's fault he didn't have his run-up sorted though good to see Haddin go on and get his century...
At least Stokes eventually did pop it with Clarke for 148 & Siddle for a couple.
Lookin' forward to tomorrow. :cool:

[araucaria]

The conclusion to be drawn from the beginning of this series and the last one seems to be that none of these guys can play a decent game of cricket when it’s way past their bedtime. Antipodean home advantage seems to be getting too great, as if they were all suffering from prolonged jet lag that is made worse by being combined with a north-south magnetic reversal. Such radical changes in fortunes are not normal in sport, and the sledging is probably a result of this.

[panopticon]

Been a bad day for the poms so far.
Looks like a follow-on is likely.

** Update **

Australia decided to bat with quite a good lead (398).

Johnson had a great innings @ 7/40.

Can't wait to see what Johnson does at the WACA...

[Cidersomerset]

Been a bad day for the poms so far.
Looks like a follow-on is likely.




Some new recruits, to bolter the squad are on their way to OZzzzzz

If only the current team could show they had not lost their...

Courage, Hearts and Brains....LOL..

http://ma.partysuppliesforless.com/pi/z1/216333_zoom.jpg

[Hazel]

Dare I say... of course I do:p
:tape::embarassed:

[Bill Ryan]

------

Ugh !!

BBC cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew asked (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/25148365) famed Yorkshireman and ex-England opener Geoffrey Boycott what he'd do if he was in charge of the England team. After Boycott had calmed down a bit (he was angry, dismayed and speechless for much of yesterday), this was his measured response -- which may be just about right:



"They can't win the Ashes, they are not playing well enough. History says you don't come from 2-0 down. There has to be some straight-talking.

"Bell must bat at three and someone needs to talk to Pietersen, he can't keep giving it away. Cook needs to get forward more and I don't think Stokes is good enough yet. Root needs to stop making mistakes, because what he did last year doesn't count.

"I'd play Monty instead of Swann. He doesn't seem to know what field to set. He's been a great performer, but we can't be sentimental."


Michael Vaughan, ex-England captain, said it more succinctly:



"I said yesterday that I thought the bolts were starting to be loosened - now England's wheels are well and truly off and they haven't got long to try to find them.

It really has been an incredible day. Mitchell Johnson has taken so much stick from us and from the England fans, but he deserves everything that comes his way. He has bowled as quick as I've seen and been backed up by brilliant fielding. Since winning the toss, Australia have been 50 times better than England at everything."

http://nla.gov.au/nla.pic-an23001020-v

[panopticon]

I reckon the Aussies are planning on batting for the morning session so as to give Warner a chance at a tonne and are hoping to get the pommie openers nicely warmed in the Adelaide Sun.
I must admit though, I'm a bit confused by the English strategy. :blink:

Are they planning to rally and get Australia out tomorrow then belt Johnson et al. all over the park for the rest of the Adelaide match?
Or...
Are they playing for the draw and this is all a clever ploy to catch everyone off guard when they suddenly turn it all around from the WACA onwards so they can be national heros?
I think even Sun Tzu might be scratching his noggin on this one... :neo:

Mayhap we should revisit an earlier post at this juncture:


...Ashes jokes:
What do you call an Aussie holding a bottle of bubbly? A waiter

What’s the height of optimism? An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

What’s the Australian version of LBW? Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Comments? Questions? Witticisms? :dance:

It would appear that the poms choice of tucker isn't helping them much.

:cantina:

Vietnamese King Prawn Thingamabobs, piri-piri breaded tofu Whatsits, sweet potato and goats cheese mini-pizza's (YUK!) and that yogurt, kale, pear and apple smoothie must be causin' 'avoc wif their inards.

:bad:

Reckon half of 'em are all bunged up and the other 'alf are gettin' out just so they can get to tha dunny!

Only Cranberry seems to be gettin' it sorted.
Must be his impressions that are doin' tha trick :clap2:

4rThRs8b-j4
Least the Smarmy Army seem to be 'avin' fun. :fans:

[Bill Ryan]

Witticisms? :dance:



Not many! Re the England menu, maybe a big BBQ of rare 24oz T-bone steaks might be the place to start. Meanwhile, in the long-knives-drawn English press, number eleven Monty Panesar is being praised for his guts and patience. Joe Root and Kevin Pietersen should be kicked very hard (KP especially). Bell was Bell (nearly always classy) and Carberry was mature, responsible and a little unlucky -- again. (Sobering to think that if Bell and Carberry had failed, England would have been all out for less than 50.) They might hang out for a draw in the next two days: not impossible, but very highly unlikely.

My personal unplagiarized predictions:


England will lose by quite a large margin before lunch on Day 5.
Batsman Ballance will be in the squad for the next test.
Prior will be dropped for second keeper Bairstow.
Bell will come up the order to 3 (he has to).
Root will drop back down to 6.
Monty will play instead of Swann.
But England may still lose. :)

[jackovesk]

------

Ugh !!

BBC cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew asked (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/25148365) famed Yorkshireman and ex-England opener Geoffrey Boycott what he'd do if he was in charge of the England team. After Boycott had calmed down a bit (he was angry, dismayed and speechless for much of yesterday), this was his measured response -- which may be just about right:



"They can't win the Ashes, they are not playing well enough. History says you don't come from 2-0 down. There has to be some straight-talking.

"Bell must bat at three and someone needs to talk to Pietersen, he can't keep giving it away. Cook needs to get forward more and I don't think Stokes is good enough yet. Root needs to stop making mistakes, because what he did last year doesn't count.

"I'd play Monty instead of Swann. He doesn't seem to know what field to set. He's been a great performer, but we can't be sentimental."


Michael Vaughan, ex-England captain, said it more succinctly:



"I said yesterday that I thought the bolts were starting to be loosened - now England's wheels are well and truly off and they haven't got long to try to find them.

It really has been an incredible day. Mitchell Johnson has taken so much stick from us and from the England fans, but he deserves everything that comes his way. He has bowled as quick as I've seen and been backed up by brilliant fielding. Since winning the toss, Australia have been 50 times better than England at everything."

http://nla.gov.au/nla.pic-an23001020-v

:violin:......

[panopticon]

Not many! Re the England menu, maybe a big BBQ of rare 24oz T-bone steaks might be the place to start. Meanwhile, in the long-knives-drawn English press, number eleven Monty Panesar is being praised for his guts and patience. Joe Root and Kevin Pietersen should be kicked very hard (KP especially). Bell was Bell (nearly always classy) and Carberry was mature, responsible and a little unlucky -- again. (Sobering to think that if Bell and Carberry had failed, England would have been all out for less than 50.) They might hang out for a draw in the next two days: not impossible, but very highly unlikely.

My personal unplagiarized predictions:


England will lose by quite a large margin before lunch on Day 5.
Batsman Ballance will be in the squad for the next test.
Prior will be dropped for second keeper Bairstow.
Bell will come up the order to 3 (he has to).
Root will drop back down to 6.
Monty will play instead of Swann.
But England may still lose. :)


Thanks for lettin' us know what the pommie press has to say.
I reckon Cranberry had a good knock and Warner took a screamer to get him out.
Bell just ran out of partners.
What's the pommie press got ta say about Broad and Stokes performance in Adelaide?
Oh, and I reckon Watson did alright with the ball: 3 maidens 1/0!
Just a shame he got out for a duck in the 2nd innings.

*update*

I missed the additions in Bills earlier post.
Who's for bettin' Johnson gets Man of match?

[jackovesk]

The best Sporting 'Headline' I've seen all year

"Mitch Johnson - You Bloody Star"...:clap2:

7 Dec 2013

MITCHELL Johnson, you absolute bloody superstar. Mitchell Johnson, you magnificent moustachioed mountain of menacing manhood. Mitchell Johnson, you cricketing god, you.

Mitchell Johnson, in demolishing England yet again, this time with an astonishing 7 for 40, you are rapidly becoming the archetypal hero of every sports movie ever made.

Here's how sports movies go. Excellent sportsman is excellent. Excellent sportsman then has major setback and becomes previously excellent sportsman. Previously excellent sportsman has doubts. He has demons. His career appears to be over.

Then, after much soul-searching and pain, previously excellent sportsman recovers and becomes excellent once more. In fact he becomes more than excellent. He becomes unstoppably, awesomely, irresistibly rampant. That, right there, is the Mitchell Johnson story.

http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2013/12/07/1226777/797586-02b26424-5f01-11e3-ae40-d33e7a4d8181.jpg
We doff our cap to you, Mitch. AFP PHOTO / Saeed KHAN Source: AFP

Mitchell Johnson burst onto the scene in 2007. By 2009, he was named Cricketer of the Year by world cricket's governing body, the ICC. The sporting gods then thought they'd have their customary giggle at all that, and robbed Johnson of his powers the very same year.

Johnson was woeful in the 2009 Ashes. Though he took a respectable 20 wickets for the series, his bowling will be remembered more for the balls that landed off the pitch than the ones that landed on it. At times, it seemed as though he was playing on the spare pitches beside the main one.

In 2011, he had another shocker against South Africa in South Africa in a tour mercifully cut short by injury.

He returned to the Australian team after a year in the cricketing wilderness, only to be sent home from India this April for failing to hand in his homework to Mickey Arthur. And then he wasn't picked for the midyear Ashes tour to England.

The Arthur/homework saga ignited a debate over the rights of the individual versus those of the team which resonated in workplaces as it did among the sporting community.

What we have learned this summer, no matter how things pan out from here, is that a sportsman's introspection doesn't count for squat unless it's the sort of introspection that freshens a mind and rejuvenates a tired bowling action.

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2013/12/07/1226777/796381-0834524a-5f01-11e3-ae40-d33e7a4d8181.jpg
That bowling action is working like clockwork now. AFP PHOTO / Saeed KHAN Source: AFP

At 32, Johnson has recovered the venom that had many calling him the next Dennis Lillee from an early age.

That was never going to happen by completing all the homework exercises in the world. It had to come from within. And it has.

Johnson has been unplayable in the three Ashes innings in which he's bowled this summer. Already he has taken 16 of the 30 English wickets to fall. Not for 16 years has a team made as few runs in the first innings of an Adelaide Test as England did today.

But forget the stats. It's the way Mitchell Johnson gets his wickets that has set Australia alight. Johnson takes spectacular wickets, wickets that leave you gulping in awe. Stumps crash when he bowls. Even good batsmen look silly.

Commentators keep reaching to terms like "Jaffa" and "peach" and assorted other references to orange-coloured fruit. Whatever you call those unplayable balls that late swing out of his enormous left arm, they're just so damned satisfying to watch. And that's from the sidelines. You can only imagine what the man himself is feeling.

http://resources0.news.com.au/images/2013/12/07/1226777/797648-f7d2c8b4-5f00-11e3-ae40-d33e7a4d8181.jpg
It used to be Mitchell Johnson’s bowling that was a work in progress. Now they’re building bigger stands so that more people can come and see him. (Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images) Source: Getty Images

Johnson looks a much happier character these days. He said as much today when Channel Nine's Mark Nicholas asked if these were the happiest days of his life.

"Yeah it definitely puts a smile on my face," he said.

"Plenty of people were telling me I was never going to play again so it feels very emotional."

It's emotional for us too, Mitch, you little bloody beauty.

http://www.news.com.au/sport/cricket/a-somewhat-loose-and-incoherent-tribute-to-mitchell-johnson-ashes-cricket-superstar/story-fndpt0dy-1226777797675

PS - That was the best spell of Pace bowling I've seen in years by an Australian Fast bowler...:yes4:

PSS - The look :shocked: Mitch Johnson gave to Jimmy Anderson after (Clean- Bowling) him 1st ball today, was absolutely 'Bloody Priceless'...:target:

[panopticon]

I tell ya what. I watched part of this mornings session and bugger me Johnson looked like bloody D. Lillee when he finished his follow through and was eye-balling the batsman.
Good ta see.
Keep the mo bro. All Aussie sporting icons should 'ave 'em (specially the blokes!). :thumb:

[jackovesk]

:couch2: I'm just sitting back relaxing and taking it all in...:becky:

Don't worry I won't bring out the (I Told You So) just yet...:nono:

But it's mighty tempting...:noidea:

Bill, I feel your pain mate! (No I Don't)...:pound:

I knew England would fold, as predicted earlier...

Australia are (FINALLY) getting back to playing (Old School Cricket)


TOUGH (RUTHLESS) & HARD..! Like we did back in the (Lillee - Thomson) days

The Way it should be...:yes4:

[jackovesk]

Witticisms? :dance:



Not many! Re the England menu, maybe a big BBQ of rare 24oz T-bone steaks might be the place to start. Meanwhile, in the long-knives-drawn English press, number eleven Monty Panesar is being praised for his guts and patience. Joe Root and Kevin Pietersen should be kicked very hard (KP especially). Bell was Bell (nearly always classy) and Carberry was mature, responsible and a little unlucky -- again. (Sobering to think that if Bell and Carberry had failed, England would have been all out for less than 50.) They might hang out for a draw in the next two days: not impossible, but very highly unlikely.

My personal unplagiarized predictions:


England will lose by quite a large margin before lunch on Day 5.
Batsman Ballance will be in the squad for the next test.
Prior will be dropped for second keeper Bairstow.
Bell will come up the order to 3 (he has to).
Root will drop back down to 6.
Monty will play instead of Swann.
But England may still lose. :)


Hey Bill,

You know when I said 3 Nil,

Well, nah make the a (Clean Sweep) 5 - 0...:yes4:

Why..?

Because the English Cricket side look defeated :shocked: already...:yes4:

[varuna]

...I watched the highlights this morning on Sky..it was almost unbearable !! Mitchell Johnson has bowled superbly, full straight and fast, England's batsman surely must develop a better strategy for dealing with him..the ball is not swinging, so they should be better equipped at their level...alas if they don't sort themselves out it could be a 5 -0 wipe out...:cry:

as for the food they eat...well I'm sure it's healthy..but I've been out to dinner with the like's of Mike Gatting..you should see what he eats!! Never held him back or his peers...


Because the English Cricket side look defeated already...

I'm afraid you right they do, it's going to take a huge amount of leadership on behalf of Cook to get them back on track again.....Shane Warne is apparently gloating as he has never valued Cook..

[Bill Ryan]

-------

England 1-1 after Australia declared just before the start of play (inspired unsettling tactic, btw). Cook gone already, suffering from whatever contagious mental imbalance has hit 9 of the 11 England players. (Carberry and Bell seem to be immune... so far.)

I think I'm going to ask the mods to unsubscribe me from this thread. Can that be done? :)

[Cidersomerset]

To be fair the only reason we won the ashes earlier in the year was the Aussies were lacking in
the bowling department, if Mitchell Johnson had been fit it could have been very different, still we
enjoyed it. I cannot see England coming back from this unless there's a couple injuries in the
Aussie camp...!!

Jack your right at this rate 5-0 will be flattering ...LOL



Bridgwater Firemans Ball 2008 - My little Johnson

DklMhBWUvYA

[jackovesk]

-------

England 1-1 after Australia declared just before the start of play (inspired unsettling tactic, btw). Cook gone already, suffering from whatever contagious mental imbalance has hit 9 of the 11 England players. (Carberry and Bell seem to be immune... so far.)

I think I'm going to ask the mods to unsubscribe me from this thread. Can that be done? :)

Don't worry Bill, I'd be asking (Exactly) the same question if the shoe was on the other foot...:)

I'd probably go (1 step further) and asked to be 'Unsubscribed' from the forum altogether...:noidea:

Hang in there Bill...:yo:

At least your not backing away from the contest like your counterparts seem to be doing...:faint:

PS - Good call on Carberry, he & Bell like you said. Seem to be the only ones with any fight left in them...A.K.A Carrying the side...:yes4:

[panopticon]

Australia 2.
England 0.

Deepest sympathy to Bill, Cidersomerset, Varuna, Sian, Bram, Nasu and Mahalall.
Condolences for your loss.

Onwards to my home States ground, the WACA, where the wicket is fast and the balls bounce high.

Good luck chasps.

And may the best team win. :)

[panopticon]

BTW, lookin forward to Piers Morgan (https://twitter.com/piersmorgan) facing up to Brett Lee (https://twitter.com/BrettLee_58) @ the MCG.

Maybe Johnson might come in and give 'im a go as well (can only hope that Morgan starts mouthin' off @ 'im too).

Might be nice to see Morgan with the smile on the other side of his face for a change...

EcfrVWPAArU

[Hazel]

Nice white flag Bill...

takes a mature man to make the announcement when his teams all but squashed...
somewhat like witnessing a gut oozing Christmas beetle scuttling about after its been thwacked by a hamburger flipper at a BBQ.. but that's okay.

No gloating here... just commiserating after a few exuberant dances around the lounge room is all.

Sooo looking forward to watching the final whacks at the WACA :whoo:

[varuna]

...time for a bit of Monty Python :)

Ep9Vzb6R_58

[Cidersomerset]

Our Geoffreys not happy, but he says it how it is !


KlUi5V4QrqA


===============================================
Still it could be worse...!! 'Caution swearing'.....

Geoffrey reminiscing about his Zero hour contract, when he was a lad in
Barnsley .......Now we know why 'Dickie' Bird says he's so tight !!

QKXNh2ZL_zg

[panopticon]

Some pretty good evaluations of England's performance and wtf they can do about Siddle, Harris and especially Johnson on the faster, more bouncy WACA wicket to try and make it a more even, or at least interesting, contest:

tXxw1wlBAn4
qkbC8evMx8M
Also, just as a reminder, Watson bowled 9 overs in Adelaide:
6 maidens, 1 wicket for 6 runs.
Good performance from the #3 Australian batsman.

[panopticon]

Let's look back at the 2010-2011 Ashes @ the WACA and some highlights from the Aussie bowlers Mitchell Johnson (6/38) and Ryan Harris (6/47):

Q-aN8-21Mpc
wGrR9uiSyDY

[jackovesk]

Even (World Renowned) News Presenter (Ron Burgandy) weighs in on the (Ashes) debate...:)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n9seRND7qo

[Hazel]

Heh what! Reckon the red neck Anchorman has a point..

'bout time that dinky urn was encased inside an 'upsize me' bit of silverware that had an emu with a moustache holding a Eureka flag (of rightful independence) engraved on one side and, a rosy apple sporting a pint sized Royal crown, on t'other...
that way we can show the side we favour on display 'proper', on the home mantlepiece in each hemisphere!

:cool: prospect eh

[Cidersomerset]

I think there are several reasons for the demise this winter , first England are a good team
not a great team and they let the pre match hype that they could just turn up down under
and the cricket gods would keep the Aussie backlash at Botany bay, where the first
Captain Cooke landed, and like his predecessor Cooke has been savaged by the natives later.

I cringe at the English speaking peoples press in general, its always two dimensional
and confrontational, We are either good or crap. In the context of the ashes a bit of banter
and ribbing is all part of the game as it should be in any sport, rivalry can be fun. But respect
is vital in all forms of life imo , once you loose respect you become cocky, careless then
nervous and fearful. Though a little fear in this case could strengthen the concentration and
stop the careless shots the English batsman have been guilty of as if mesmerised by the
skill of the Aussie bowling.

The Aussie's were fired up from the first toss, as you would expect if you knew anything
about the spirit and grit needed to wear the 'baggy green' and although they had
been pilloried in their own press over the last few years, it was obvious if they could
field a fully fit side, on home turf. The coming contest would be hard fought and no
walk in the park as some idiots not only in the English press but former players
predicted. I laughed at this and thought , you don't goad a hurt wallaby as its
likely to jump on you, and the English preparation for the fray seemed minimal
as if, we turn up, and the Aussies will either beat themselves or someone will do
something like Broad on the first day. Unfortunately the veneer is to thin on our
batting and judgment is poor and not in the same league as the Aussies so far.

Still like Veruna , I always look on the bright side of life

Keep up a Stiff upper lip.....What, What......

znmjnEMqHeg

[Hazel]

Yup Cider m'dear you are right..
seems the tossers were all sorted in the very 1st toss

well spotted

and well nasally snorted and tossered by Fry and co'... t'boot

And gaaawd may the very bestest team win :fencing:

By crikey... Still yaaawning not drowning as a Sheila observer

[Cidersomerset]

Not for the Squeamish........

lk3eEAmaxtQ

At least he hit a paw ! runs that is LOL !!

[Hazel]

Re above:

We call it being 'pussy whipped' here... but with reverse inference

i.e. the pussy bats out the balls

:smokin:

:focus:

[Cidersomerset]

A pussy here means soft/meek like the English batting display so far..LOL

ie you're playing like a load of pussies....

X5wXyGrmA4A

[Timreh]

It may be a bit overdue but i thought this was an appropriate time to say hello to Bill?

How I loved listening to the 12th man..
Here are a few of my fav's..
(Mind the Language)

uEgubT8XMu0

lmK1W2Cib90

srpuEf5GQmM

[Cidersomerset]

Tribute to Ritchie....

BmHzycxpghY

[panopticon]

I think there are several reasons for the demise this winter , first England are a good team
not a great team and they let the pre match hype that they could just turn up down under
and the cricket gods would keep the Aussie backlash at Botany bay, where the first
Captain Cooke landed, and like his predecessor Cooke has been savaged by the natives later.

I cringe at the English speaking peoples press in general, its always two dimensional
and confrontational, We are either good or crap. In the context of the ashes a bit of banter
and ribbing is all part of the game as it should be in any sport, rivalry can be fun. But respect
is vital in all forms of life imo , once you loose respect you become cocky, careless then
nervous and fearful. Though a little fear in this case could strengthen the concentration and
stop the careless shots the English batsman have been guilty of as if mesmerised by the
skill of the Aussie bowling.

The Aussie's were fired up from the first toss, as you would expect if you knew anything
about the spirit and grit needed to wear the 'baggy green' and although they had
been pilloried in their own press over the last few years, it was obvious if they could
field a fully fit side, on home turf. The coming contest would be hard fought and no
walk in the park as some idiots not only in the English press but former players
predicted. I laughed at this and thought , you don't goad a hurt wallaby as its
likely to jump on you, and the English preparation for the fray seemed minimal
as if, we turn up, and the Aussies will either beat themselves or someone will do
something like Broad on the first day. Unfortunately the veneer is to thin on our
batting and judgment is poor and not in the same league as the Aussies so far.

Still like Veruna , I always look on the bright side of life

Keep up a Stiff upper lip.....What, What......

znmjnEMqHeg
I agree.

What I don't understand is why the pommie press have jumped on them so heavily.

OK, they've had a few bad games and there have been some moments when things have just gone Australia's way (Carberry getting caught by Warner off Watson for example, a little bit to Warner's left and it would have been a boundary) but some of the press have just gone over the top (like that numb nut Morgan for example).

Yeah, the Aussies have done their homework on the weaknesses of the pommie bowlers and batsmen and the wickets in Australia are, to quote Boycott, 'fairer'. That all shows up clearly in the Aussies execution with both bat and ball. Though their batting performance has also been spotty and its just the poms performance that has made it look good (dropped balls, no-balls, etc).

Still, it's only a matter of millimetres in it most of the time.

That's what happens at the elite sporting level. A millimetre can make the difference between a hero and, for want of a better word, a villain. Mitchell's got his mojo working and the WACA will suit all the Aussie quick bowlers, but it will also suit Broad, Anderson and Stokes (if he plays).

As Boycott said, it's a matter of the batsmen settling in and not giving their wickets away chasing rubbish. Being disciplined and playing their shots when the ball is there to play them. Unfortunately the pommie batsmen (the Aussies too btw) are trying to make things happen and that's where they're falling short.

At this level if a bowler is disciplined, like Watson was in the 2nd Test, and the batsmen can't break the bowlers concentration then they just have to wait it out and take what they can. Pushing for the singles might not have the glory of a 6 over mid wicket but is a hell of a lot better than getting caught off a top edge in the slips or down at 3rd man. A batter just doing the job and sitting there through the new ball can build a good run rate and still take advantage when the shine is worn off.

That's what isn't happening. The poms are all playing their shots and not waiting for the right shot.

The Aussie batsmen are doing the same thing unfortunately but they are breaking the bowlers concentration and that's leading the bowlers to stray in line and length.

Personally I blame limited over cricket as it pushes for the spectacle rather than patience.

Anyway, enough wif da couch commentary.

The vid you put up gave me a good laugh there Steve.
I always liked Fry & Laurie and especially enjoyed their series 'Jeeves & Wooster'.

rNiq7jrdYXY
1QiqT0T4Cjg
9VGItt9cCgc
Brilliant :)

[Bill Ryan]

-------

My favorite Tweeted-in comment (some of which are really very funny) on the running BBC text commentary: (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/25148411)




Is it all a Scooby Doo plot? Perhaps the real England cricket team is tied up in a warehouse somewhere.

I'll still be tuning in for the critical match in Perth, but won't be staying up all night unless Carberry makes a century.

:)

[jackovesk]

-------

My favorite Tweeted-in comment (some of which are really very funny) on the running BBC text commentary: (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/25148411)




Is it all a Scooby Doo plot? Perhaps the real England cricket team is tied up in a warehouse somewhere.

I'll still be tuning in for the critical match in Perth, but won't be staying up all night unless Carberry makes a century.

:)

Your in luck Bill, Perth W.A the (WACA) is 2hrs behind the Eastern States so it should be on at a reasonable hour your time...:yes4:

Hang on a sec Jack, is that right or is it the other way round...:confused:

And that should give you an extra 2hrs of true suffering, watching your lads crumble into further Despair & Disarray...:)

Maybe a few (Home-Truths) will cheer the boys up...:noidea:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDCs7ijNUVM

[varuna]

Re above:

We call it being 'pussy whipped' here... but with reverse inference

i.e. the pussy bats out the balls

...Not sure I understand the above recap1...also not sure I want further explanation!!?

perhaps I'm having a blonde moment! :der:

[jackovesk]

Re above:

We call it being 'pussy whipped' here... but with reverse inference

i.e. the pussy bats out the balls

...Not sure I understand the above recap1...also not sure I want further explanation!!?

perhaps I'm having a blonde moment! :der:

Aussie Clarification:

Pussy Whipped - Simply refers to any male who is under total control of the Pussy...:becky:

...as for


i.e. the pussy bats out the balls

:noidea:

[sian]

don't forget Jack we have this spirit going for us

Hgfb3SmRvHc

[Hazel]

Re above:

We call it being 'pussy whipped' here... but with reverse inference

i.e. the pussy bats out the balls


...Not sure I understand the above recap1...also not sure I want further explanation!!?

perhaps I'm having a blonde moment! :der:

Aussie Clarification:

Pussy Whipped - Simply refers to any male who is under total control of the Pussy...:becky:

...as for


i.e. the pussy bats out the balls

:noidea:

Taaw folks its bawdy pun,
yes in poor taste...

Perhaps admittance to recognition is a stain upon your purer imaginative powers..
:amen:

[panopticon]

Well you'll all be happy to know that the WA weather is turning on a treat for us all.

Foretuncasters are predicting 38 C for the 13th, 14th, 15th & 39 C for the 16th.
For the Englishtype persons that's 100 F & 102 F.

Looks like a new record for December might be on the way.

Lucky the Ashes isn't being played in the real West Oz Summer when 42+ C (108+ F) is usual. :)

People wonder why I shifted to Tassie... :cool:

[araucaria]

But here's what I mean. Let's look at some examples of sledging in other sports. After all, this goes on all the time, right?

Tennis:

Federer to Nadal, throwing up the ball to serve at break point in the Wimbledon final.

"Raf, your flies are undone!"

Not only is Roger (or anyone else, spectators included) not going to behave in this manner, but neither will he complain about Rafa’s service routine regularly overstepping the time limit. But the main thing about tennis is the fact that these guys would happily do their own umpiring, which means calling each other’s shots out.

In smaller tournaments with no hawk-eye, you often see players overruling the umpire in their opponents’ favour. They trust their opponent more than they trust the umpire! This is part of the tennis culture because with the large numbers of matches being played, you have to learn to do this from a very early age. You have to be very very good to get to play with line judges and ballboys – something like the level of a county cricketer. A lesser match might occasionally get a chair umpire if one of the players is not behaving to the high standard of fairplay that the game has to demand.

Last night I attended the final of a pre-season warmup tournament in which the young Belgian David Goffin, just back from injury, won his fourth two-setter in as many days against World no. 9 Richard Gasquet. (Watch out for this guy in the Australian Open next month: you read it here first!) Without breaking his stride, Goffin replayed a couple of points that the umpire had awarded to him.

There is one famous occasion when an 18-year-old Mats Wilander forced the umpire to get back up in his chair after awarding him the match. The ball called out on match point was in (or maybe not!) and he wanted to win fair and square.
http://www.ina.fr/video/I05276512 (http://www.ina.fr/video/I05276512)


You need to remember that there is a millimeter between a ball being in and being out and that a shot that is just in is more effective than one that lands shorter. So there are going to be plenty of mistakes, but regular or deliberate mistakes in your own favour will earn you a bad reputation pretty quick. Why (let’s get back on topic :))? It’s just not… cricket :)

[Cidersomerset]

Congratulations Cook & Clark on you Ton up tests.......I can't believe Cook has
reached this milestone so quick, only seems 5mins ago he was making his debut.


http://static.bbci.co.uk/frameworks/barlesque/2.58.1/desktop/3.5/img/blq-blocks_grey_alpha.png


12 December 2013 Last updated at 07:45

Ashes 2013-14: Alastair Cook says 100th Test will be his toughest
Third Ashes Test
Venue: The Waca, PerthDate: 13-17 DecemberStart: 02:30 GMT


oflTiGT3eqk

Captain Alastair Cook says his 100th Test will be the "toughest" of his career as
England look to turn around the Ashes after two heavy defeats. Australia will regain
the urn if they win the third Test, which starts in Perth on Friday at 02:30 GMT.
The tourists, who have won the last three Ashes series, have won just once - in
1978 - in 12 Tests at the ground.

When asked whether his 100th Test would be the toughest of his career, Cook
said: "I think it's a fair point."

He added: "After what's happened so far, I'd say so. Your next challenge is always
the toughest."

The only side in Ashes history to come back from 2-0 down to win was the
Australian side led by Don Bradman in 1936-37. It will be a tall order for England to
achieve the feat, after the 218-run defeat in Adelaide followed a 381-run loss in the
opener in Brisbane. They have only passed 200 runs once in four innings so far.
Worse still, England have failed to reach 400 runs in any of their innings in seven
Tests against Australia this year. However, Cook added: "Our confidence has taken
a hit after the first two matches but the squad has made a real conscious effort. We
have to look forward, rather than look back.


http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71696000/jpg/_71696327_clarke.jpg
100 Test milestones
Michael Clarke
•Cook and Clarke will be the 57th and 58th players to play 100 Tests; Cook is the
11th for England and Clarke the 12th for Australia
•Cook made his debut in 2006 and reaches the milestone at the age of 28 years
and 353 days; Clarke, who made his debut in 2004, will be 32 years and 255 days
•Cook has scored 7,883 runs at an average of 47.20 with 25 hundreds; Clarke has
made 7,940 runs at 52.58 with 26 centuries

"I don't think it's been about lifting the players. That hunger and desire has always
been there in this side. We have got another opportunity to show it this week."

The tourists have struggled against the short ball and, in particular, the bowling of
left-arm paceman Mitchell Johnson, who has taken 17 wickets in the two opening
Tests.

Cook said: "It's down to individuals. I think our shot selection against him
[Johnson] at certain times has been quite poor in this series and I think that's why
he has had a lot of success against us."

England coach Andy Flower has said he will make changes to the team, with
seamer Tim Bresnan expected to return from injury, while Gary Ballance, Jonny
Bairstow, Steven Finn and Boyd Rankin could also come into contention.

Bairstow, like fellow Yorkshire batsman Ballance, was made available to play for the
England Performance Programme this week, and responded with a second-innings
123 on Thursday as the tourists recorded a four-wicket win in their three-day
match against Western Australia Second XI in Perth.

Meanwhile Australian captain Michael Clarke, who will also play in his 100th Test in
Perth, was confident fast bowler Ryan Harris would overcome a sore knee to play,
but will wait until after the toss to name the team.

"We don't know the team at this stage now," he said. "We're going to wait for the
toss. We'll see how everyone pulls up after training and it'll give us another
opportunity to look at the wicket as well."

However, all-rounder James Faulkner has been ruled out of the third Ashes Test
with a fractured thumb. The heat will be a factor, with temperatures expected to hit
36-38C during Friday-Monday.

Clarke added: "It's going to be hot and they're going to be long days, but I think
both teams will find it quite hot."

Ahead of his 100th Test Cook said: "It's a huge honour for me to join the 100 club,
one I never thought I'd get to when I started playing.

"It is a special day, and it would make it even more special if we can produce a
performance we are capable off."

Clarke added: "In regards to being your 100th Test, its not a focus at all. It's
fantastic that I have been able to play 99 Tests for my country and it's something
that I'm proud of.

"But it's about having the a chance to win the Ashes and continue to perform like
we have in first two Tests."

LINE-UPS
Australia (from): Michael Clarke (captain), David Warner, Chris Rogers, Shane
Watson, Steve Smith, George Bailey, Brad Haddin, Peter Siddle, Mitchell Johnson,
Ryan Harris, Nathan Lyon, Doug Bollinger, Nathan Coulter-Nile.

England (from): Alastair Cook (captain), Michael Carberry, Joe Root, Kevin
Pietersen, Ian Bell, Ben Stokes, Matt Prior, Stuart Broad, Tim Bresnan, James
Anderson, Graeme Swann, Monty Panesar, Steven Finn, Gary Ballance, Boyd
Rankin.

THIRD TEST STATISTICS
Alastair Cook will be the quickest player to play 100 Tests from debut - his seven
years and 286 days beating Andrew Strauss's eight years and 88 days.

Cook, at 28 years and 353 days, will be the youngest to play 100 Tests, passing
Sachin Tendulkar who played his when aged 29 years and 134 days.

Kevin Pietersen needs 12 runs to become the fifth player to score 8,000 Test runs
for England unless Cook, who needs 117, gets there first.

Pietersen also needs 35 runs to become the 11th player to score 2,000 for England
against Australia.

Stuart Broad needs 80 runs to become the 17th player and third Englishman after
Botham and Flintoff to reach the double of 2,000 runs and 200 wickets in Tests.

Graeme Swann needs one wicket to go past Brian's Statham's 252 into sixth place
among England wicket-takers.

Michael Clarke needs 60 runs to become the sixth player to score 8,000 Test runs
for Australia.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25344985

[jackovesk]

Atomic batteries to Power
Turbines to Speed


Robin: What's our destination Batman?
Batmam: Oh $hit no Robin - Its the (WACA)...:scared:

Robin: Prepare the Armoury & the Bat Helmets, where also gonna need the (Kitchen Sink) as well if where going to Survive this one Batman..!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBe3QzVW5_8

[Bill Ryan]

-------

This made me laugh: the opening post on the running BBC text report (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/25349160) on the third test, just about to start:




Poor old England. They've just been annihilated twice in a row by the fastest, bounciest bowler in the world and now - with the Ashes on the line - they are facing him again on the fastest, bounciest pitch in the world. Oh, and it happens to be his home ground. And the venue where he blew away a far superior England side three years ago....
And it's Friday the 13th....


Let the game begin! :)

[panopticon]

Well not a bad Century to young Steven Smith there (reckon if he gets settled in he's got a long career ahead of him).
Still a lot of mediocre batting from the Aussies.
Lots of drink breaks in the WA sun (wisely the poms kept themselves covered up, from what I heard, to protect their tan lines).
Onwards to the morrow!

[Cidersomerset]

'PUSSY GATE '.....Ben Stiller is on the Graham Norton show, in the background,
He is talking about his new film, Walter Mitty and he is describing a scene where
he is in the sea off Iceland and its freezing and when its finished, he's asked
to do it again, he did not want to, but thought he'd better as he did not want
them to think he was a 'pussy'....LOL

The very next programme following Graham Norton, Blue stone 42 a sitcom
set in an army base in Afghanistan . A scene where four of the squaddies
are discussing one of their girlfriends and his stag night. One says to the other
that he does not want her to think he is a 'pussy'...LOL

Whats weird about this I cannot remember the last time I heard it and now
its used in two shows following.........

I should be a detective...LOL

C_z8emyiAC4

Aprox 50 secs in........'Pussy ' used in context...LOL

[panopticon]

Well not a bad first innings from Australia.
The poms are doing a reasonable job considering they've shifted nearer the surface of the Sun.

gNCYNlx4iso

[Cidersomerset]

Australia: 385 (103.3 overs)
England: 132-2 (48.0 overs)
Venue: Perth

All we need is Cooke & Pietersen to hit 350 each and were back in it !!!!!!!

http://img.wonderhowto.com/img/02/05/63485906339586/0/make-your-dreams-reality-your-dreams-by-lucid-dreaming.w654.jpg


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://content6.flixster.com/question/67/71/97/6771976_std.jpg



Cook c Warner b Lyon 72


http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/print/2006/11/tooheys-new-poms-worst-nightmare.jpg


Pietersen c Johnson b Siddle 19



This nightmare is looking up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Who's the shiella coming it at six ???

http://www.thealternativecricketalmanack.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/lara-bingle.png

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" Bell the builder , Can he fix it ? "

" Bell the builder, ??? he can !!!!!


Bell not out 1
Stokes not out 4


-P2-Nmk1uFQ
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stokes The Fire

F2-_05-oHVI

This dream is getting more serial !!!!!!!

[panopticon]

Had a chat with a mate of mine over in Perth who reckons tomorrow (Sunday) it might even start to get a bit warm over there.

Forecast: 41 C (106 F). :love:

I was listenin' to tha wireless and erd tha commenchatter sayin' that Johnson's slowin' down a touch towards the end of the day... :bowl:

They reckon he might qualify for the pommie side next year if he can stay below 140 kph consistently... :rolleyes:

[araucaria]

They reckon he might qualify for the pommie side next year if he can stay below 140 kph consistently... :rolleyes:
All this means is that six months ago the Aussies couldn't handle medium pace bowling :confused:

[panopticon]

They reckon he might qualify for the pommie side next year if he can stay below 140 kph consistently... :rolleyes:
All this means is that six months ago the Aussies couldn't handle medium pace bowling :confused:

Frd53vbCHLg

[araucaria]

They reckon he might qualify for the pommie side next year if he can stay below 140 kph consistently... :rolleyes:
All this means is that six months ago the Aussies couldn't handle medium pace bowling :confused:

Frd53vbCHLg
Yes, I can see how you would need a selective sense of humour and/or a short memory to take sides in this er, discussion ;)

[varuna]

...I'm still deciding how to respond to Cidersomerset's last post...:mmph: given my previous life as a female cricketer!.....remembering how hard it was for us to be taken seriously in a male dominated world...:tsk: I remember we had 1 male supporter, an old guy who came to all our matches..he used to turn up with his sandwiches and deckchair, ...and if an away match was cancelled someone had to remember to phone him and let him know :) .....if we had dressed like the woman above we may have had one or two more turning up!...

Nevertheless...moving on..I caught the last couple of hours this am - from 2 wickets down, I was really hopeful at that point and thought England were performing better; once they lost the next 2 wickets the Aussies had their tails up and now I think it's going to be a huge struggle to come back. The good news is that Johnson hasn't picked up a wicket for the last 38 overs...temporary respite for the England batsman I feel...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25380984


Root ...unfortunate I thought

[Cidersomerset]

...I'm still deciding how to respond to Cidersomerset's last post... given my previous life as a female cricketer!.....

I was is in a deeeeeeeeeep trance, Veruna those Aussie Shiellas were 'MK Ultra' ing' me, I would not stereotype woman cricketer's...


England women Twitter chat
9RYrEH6qlW4


====================================================

Though they did perform on the pitch as well.....

England World Cup Twenty20 from Taunton to Lords 2009

eq3DhamGCMY

[panopticon]

Eng 7/207.
Bresnan & Broad at bat.

Tail to play.

Temperature revised to 38 C (~100 F) so a bit of a cool change.

Temp at 11.25 am (WA) 35.4 C (~ 95 F).

Reports of English cricket fans melting in sun...

[panopticon]

First Innings.
Australia - 385.
England - 251.

Broad has been reported as having an injured foot.

-- Pan

[panopticon]

Good Century from Warner (off 127 balls) backed up by a nice half Century from Rogers (caught Carberry bowled Bresnan for 54).

Aus 1/177 leading England by 311.

[panopticon]

Well that's it for the day.

Australia 3/235 leading England by 369 (which is more runs than the poms have scored in any of their innings so far in this series).

Bob's over in Perth at the moment so I wonder if there will be a repeat of this classic moment from 2012:

o5mBShX9fdU
Tomorrow: Aus declares for ~370 (need just over 130) before lunch with England chasing ~500 to win half way through day 4.

[Cidersomerset]

Australia has just regained the Ashes......

http://www.gilmerfreepress.net/images/upload1/CongratulationsClapping.gif

http://www.jumpingjackrabbit.com/assets/GoodSportsLOGO.jpg

TO All Aussie Avalonians....................



https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRQtZ67TKMVTceh_ooKOBHKzihD8n0YYTXSr4HGyDxOAd7NU_mU


http://www.blogcdn.com/www.coolage.in/media/2013/07/ashes-2013-whats-really-i-012-1373491013.jpg


http://www.blogcdn.com/www.coolage.in/media/2013/07/sportskeeda-1373620815.jpg

http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/UcDyozfxmQoJZ20PAIwPhA--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTQ0MDtweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz03Njg-/http://media.zenfs.com/en_us/News/afp.com/98d57cd061234dd19ec3a496352b192988efd1a5.jpg

[panopticon]

Not a bad summary of the day from Boycott (though a bit harsh on Rogers and Bailey):

http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/5live/ashes/ashes_20131215-0915a.mp3

Source (http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/5live/ashes/ashes_20131215-0915a.mp3)

[jackovesk]

:secret:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-sX2Y0W8l0:scared:

[Hazel]

Whats the deafening silence here all about?


Is it reverent commiserations for the already fallen team

How noble thou all art... :attention:


Jeeeeze what an easy stir :nerd:

[Cidersomerset]

Broad sounded upbeat...LOL.....I cannot see a 'Bothamesk' 1981 recovery which
I can remember like yesterday as a young office clerk, sneeking from my desk into
the stationary room where the assistant manager had a black and white portable
TV. That was amazing...LOL

aOl4oeHZnBk


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ian Botham, 4,4,4,4,4,4,6,4,4, Brutal Knock vs Australia 1981

u-PzWKKZjOA


Botham spell of 5 for 1 ( Edgbaston 1981 Ashes )

rjSDvdgTOzg

and he performed in Oz......

Ian Botham smashes Merv Hughes for 22 in an over! (Cricket)

gNggUD_MrNY


I cannot see our boys batting for 5 sessions though....LOL

[panopticon]

Whats the deafening silence here all about?

Is it reverent commiserations for the already fallen team
How noble thou all art... :attention:

Jeeeeze what an easy stir :nerd:

I know, I really don't know what to say that doesn't come off as "We told you so" or something similar.

I was all prepared with jibes about tailored pitches in England, different versions of "Why didn't Broad walk" (hardly appropriate under the circumstances) and a mess of things to retort if Australia were 2 down.

I'm kind of feeling a bit like the drunk uncle at the wake... Which this thread is starting to feel like.

It's a bit like kicking a puppy. You just don't do it.

So, we're left with England trailing by a lot and maybe they'll be able to hold out for a day and a half for a draw to save face but as I said earlier, and Boycott mentioned in the above audio, it's something that modern cricketers are not trained to do. They play their shots and don't wait for the right shots. They have no patience, probably due to the short over game, and wont sit on 10 runs all day because it's not entertaining. If England do manage to do that, and recover with a draw, then I reckon that would be spectacular.

Anyway, we'll have a good idea in 9 hours.

[panopticon]

Broad sounded upbeat...LOL.....I cannot see a 'Bothamesk' 1981 recovery which
I can remember like yesterday as a young office clerk, sneeking from my desk into
the stationary room where the assistant manager had a black and white portable
TV. That was amazing...LOL

aOl4oeHZnBk

OMG!!

I have to share the horror of what this song bought to my minds eye...
I saw Botham slow twerping (Clive Palmer style) against a pole to this. Uuggggghhhhhhhh.... :scared:

I feel dirty. I need a bath (or maybe a stiff drink) to remove that image from my mind... :twitch:

Why did you do this to me Steve! Why? Why? Why? What did I ever do to you? :faint2:
Then at the end of the clip... Uuuuggggghhhhhhhh... :fear:
Why oh why Steve, would you associate Botham with this song? Why oh why? :sick:


:hurt:

[panopticon]

Well the Aussies aren't holding back.

Watson 14 off the first over. 2 4's and a 6...

Australia passes 250 for the innings...

[panopticon]

Swann just had 22 hit off his over by Watson. 3 6's and a 4.

Watson 82 off 94 balls...

Australia approaching 300.

Leading by 430.

Correct that Australia just passed 300 and Smith is out caught Bairstow bowled Stokes for 15.

So Australia 4/301.

Leading by 435.

[panopticon]

Watson started the day on 29.

He just got his Century...

That's 72 in less than an hour..

50 runs off 28 balls for the second half.

It's being remarked on the wireless that it didn't appear any of England's player clapped or even acknowledged his Century and most turned their backs on him.

[panopticon]

Anderson just got ripped apart.

Bailey smacked him all over the place: 4,6,2,4,6,6.

28 off the over... :hail:

Reckon that one was for Boycott's comments yesterday.

And Clarke has declared.

Australia leads England by 503.

[panopticon]

1st ball!

Cook bowled by Harris!

England 1/0.

[Hazel]

Good words Panti-liner...

and very gallant n' all for a backwoodsman in Tassie

I'll keep my sparklers darts and dart board with the Union Jack on it, discretely hidden away with the rest of my Ashes to Ashes voodoo gear
til' next year when those Pommies come back at us with a taste for vengeance... might be needing it then p'raps.

this season only needed to sacrifice a tiny newt to get us this far... :wizard:

[panopticon]

Just to relive what I heard on the Aussie wireless from Aggers:

http://blogs.abc.net.au/files/cook_out2-2.mp3
Source (http://blogs.abc.net.au/files/cook_out2-2.mp3)

BTW England 4/130 (need 374 to win with another day to play).

[panopticon]

Reckon Bailey's been taking some lessons from fellow Taswegian David Foster with this lot:

SLiBSkhhqmw
England 5/251 requires 253 to win.

[Hazel]

Just to relive what I heard on the Aussie wireless from Aggers:

http://blogs.abc.net.au/files/cook_out2-2.mp3
Source (http://blogs.abc.net.au/files/cook_out2-2.mp3)

BTW England 4/130 (need 374 to win with another day to play).

Nice one Chaps...

[panopticon]

Nice one Chaps...

All I could hear for a while here was crickets (pun intended).

Seems like the English have run for the hills.

[panopticon]

So I reckon this is a good impersonation of poor ol' Mein Capitan Cook tonight:

Ndq5Ed-zMsI
As they lie in a fitful sleep the English tail are visualising and hoping agin hope they can pull something out of the cupboard:

OFzGeOgAg_A
But Chrissy (RIP) tells it like it is and why the Australian's have gone so hard:

GY_SOEgtjc8

[varuna]

....apparently Shane Warne had a bet with the other Sky commentators that if England managed to win or even draw the 3rd test - he would run naked around the Waca...David Gower commented rather dryly...that we would rather concede the Ashes! :)

Michael Vaughan
Ex-England captain & TMS summariser
"There will be optimistic England fans thinking they can get these runs, but it has never been done before and the tail will have to face the second new ball. It will be late in the morning or just after lunch that Australia regain the Ashes."

We've been out played in all areas...just hope England come back fighting for the last 2 tests and at least make it a contest.

[Hazel]

Never mind the cricket(s)...
Yup the silence is a shocker, at least Varuna Veruca has shown some pluck and grace amongst ye English men of yore
(rhymes with: of poor score.. :biggrin1:)

Hark! :horn:

Is that 'The Last Post' respectfully being blasted out (for the fallen English team) from every RSL (Return Soldiers League) club in our land

We ANZAC's are there for you pommie buggers through thick and thin.. excepting of course when it comes to retrieving that scruffy pot of ashes or any other 'sporting' trophy. Thats when we give you the Big :brick:

thats cricket.. eh what!


:yo:

[Bill Ryan]

-------

Stats of the day


Cook is the first man to get a first-baller in his 100th Test.
Between them in this series, Anderson and Swann have taken 14 wickets at a cost of 969 runs. Each wicket has cost an average of 69.21 runs.
Australia have scored 36 sixes in the series, which is a record for them - five more than they scored against India in 2000-01.
In the 42 Tests since Ryan Harris made his debut, Australia have won 10 and lost five of the 18 he has played and won eight and lost 11 of 24 when he hasn't.
Ian Bell has scored at least 50 in 16 of his last 21 Ashes innings.
This is the first time in Test history that a team has set another team more than 500 to win in three successive matches.

What they said


Michael Vaughan, Ex-England captain on BBC Test Match Special:
"I can't remember a worse session for England, as a player and spectator. I'm lost for words - I can't believe what I am seeing." *



Bill Ryan, Ex-England cricket supporter:
(unprintable) **

* He really did say that.
** He really did say that, as well.

:)

[panopticon]

Michael Vaughn makes a very good point.

All the England tail have to do is score just under 3 runs an over today (given 90 overs), and not throw their wicket away, then England can win the game.
If they score less than that but bat out the day they can draw.
As I said a few pages ago, and Boycott mentioned in few audio's, the poms need to stop playing their shots and wait for the right shots (look at Pietersen for an example). On the WACA all you need to do is defend off fast/medium pace bowling and it can go to the boundary. The wicket/outfield does that, always has. It's a good bowling pitch but it's also a good batting pitch.

Patience is the key for the poms (something they've not exhibited in years) and once (if) they can get through the new ball then they might be able to hold on.

Personally I doubt they will but who can tell.

And play starts.

[Hazel]

Those bloody cracks... anyone would think we were talking about the Greek Gods and the Kraken about to wake..

Oh yes and what was that "Harris's balls going all over the place...." :confused:

Not been witness to such breath baiting drama on the box, since the Queens Jubilee presentation.

:drama:

[panopticon]

Those bloody cracks... anyone would think we were talking about the Greek Gods and the Kraken about to wake..

Oh yes and what was that "Harris's balls going all over the place...." :confused:

Not been witness to such breath baiting drama on the box, since the Queens Jubilee presentation.

:drama:

I'm listenin' to it on Aunty. Much better commentary.
ATM they're talkin' about hot chilli dishes between balls. :)

My ol' Mum probably has the telly on with the sound down and Aunty in the back ground.

Easier to fall asleep too she reckons. :P

[Hazel]

Your Mums on a good wicket there pano'... :sleep:

Have always found it better than a laxative personally:bolt:

(And myy the ABC can get saucy on occassion: eer not touching the hot chilli between balls commentary.. except to say it might give the players better runs))

[panopticon]

They were very disciplined there but Prior chased the wrong one off Johnson and caught by Haddin (26 off 72).

Stokes 93.

Eng 6/296.

Bresnan in.

[panopticon]

What a good Century from Stokes (102 off 159). :clap2:

The Aussies all applauded him (unlike the poms yesterday with Watson) and well done to Stokes on a hard fought first test Century in only his second test. He is now the highest scoring pom in the series (excluding the bowlers ;) ).

England 6/309 require 195 to win.

[Hazel]

Such strange lingo in cricketing parlance..

'a maiden over'

is that when a sissy bowler can't get someone out?


'through to the keeper"

when some drongo wobbly batsman has had his brains baked in the Aussie sun?


'dead ball'

post a fast ball in the wedding tackle?


'Flipper'

just rude?


'Light bouncer'

Truss wearing cricket players?


**blame the inevitable outcome of this game I'm watching for my sus' witless, self- entertainment here..

[panopticon]

This ain't inevitable Crapper.

Stokes has his eye in and Bresnan is taking it to them as well.

They're playing much more disciplined than they have throughout the entire series.

England require 176.

[panopticon]

That's Lunch.

What a good innings from young Stokes: 117 off 183 (18x4's, 1x6).

Eng 6/332 require 172 to win.

Good disciplined performance from Stokes showin' the pommie old guard how it should be done.

Will he retain his concentration after lunch?

Poms run rate @ 3.46 is well on target and with 4 wickets in hand this is gonna be interestin'.

[Hazel]

Yeah yeah panny..

but to quote Kath n' Kim: "l feel it in my waters"


by the same token l have an image of Bill feeling the apprehension of tenuous hope: sitting on the edge of his seat while chomping on the glass rim of his pint of warm bitter.

:juggle:

Never fear... theres nothing surer, the best team shallst' win!

[Hazel]

And if its a damn draw... hope they've got a good hack-saw handy to split that little sucker (the Ashes trophy) right down the middle!

:twitch:

[panopticon]

but to quote Kath n' Kim: "l feel it in my waters"


Didn't know they said that.

Guess I'll 'ave to stop usin' that ol' sayin' now...

Don't wanna sound like sumwon from bloody Melbourne!

[panopticon]

And if its a damn draw... hope they've got a good hack-saw handy to split that little sucker (the Ashes trophy) right down the middle!

:twitch:

Stays wif tha poms if itsa draw but thay gotta win the last 2 fir tha ta appen.

Its bloody rigd anyways, cause thay keepitanyway in ther pommie bludy mews-bludy-eum.

Thay reckon its too "delicate" to travel. Bludy delicate! I'll give 'em bludy delicate mutter mutter.

Wannawayta make bludy muny more likeit...

[Hazel]

Mmmm sailing close to the nub there pansi'... well edited

u just might have said: "Don't wanna sound like some bloody woman from Melbourne."


Wooooh hoooo Stokes has gaaawn!!!

[panopticon]

Stokes is gone! Broke his concentration and Lyon got him caught Haddin (120 off 195, 18x4's, 1x6).

Bloody good innings from the young bloke and he got a standing ovation from the crowd and well-intentioned applaud from the Aussies. What a good knock.

Eng 7/345 require 159 to win.

Bresnan & Swann @ bat.

[Hazel]

And if its a damn draw... hope they've got a good hack-saw handy to split that little sucker (the Ashes trophy) right down the middle!

:twitch:

Stays wif tha poms if itsa draw but thay gotta win the last 2 fir tha ta appen.

Its bloody rigd anyways, cause thay keepitanyway in ther pommie bludy mews-bludy-eum.

Thay reckon its too "delicate" to travel. Bludy delicate! I'll give 'em bludy delicate mutter mutter.

Wannawayta make bludy muny more likeit...

Too delicate eh... well in that case they should give the Aussie cricket organisation all the ticket sales monies for the time its not in our hands! :spy:

Woooo hoooo now Swannies gaaaaawn :hail:

Brilliant quality catch Johnson! :hail:

[panopticon]

Swann caught Bailey bowled Lyon 4.

Eng 8/347 require 157 to win.

Broad comes limping onto the ground to bat, facing Johnson in a moe.

Sand shoe crusher anyone?

[panopticon]

Bresnan gone.

Eng 9/349 require 155 to win.

[Hazel]

What a spine tingler..


ooooooooweeeeeeeeeee


:whoo::whoo::whoo::whoo::whoo::whoo::whoo::whoo:


Great game / well deserved Australia


:dance3:

England didn't make it easy... good game pommies

[panopticon]

:attention:

Anderson is gone!
England all out for 353. :whoo:

:hail: The urn returns!!!!!!!!!!

That would make England, just a second let me think this through... :p

That would make England :second:

:whoo:

[Hazel]

Just to guild the Lilly.. cos' we can..


3-0


Wooooooooo hoooooooooooooo

:tea: << that ain't tea!

[panopticon]

I think this tells the story of the second innings quite well:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=24181&d=1387259749
Run rate second innings 3rd Test WACA 2013 Ashes

Or maybe this one:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=24182&d=1387260556
Run rate (cumulative) second innings 3rd Test WACA 2013 Ashes

One just for the fun of it:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=24180&d=1387259749

Sorry? Who won the Ashes on undoctored pitches? :horn:

[Hazel]

Cheers Panny, Veruna, Ponda, Jack, Bill, Cidersomerset and all the other Aussies and Pommies in the thread

twas' fun

:first:

[panopticon]

Cheers Panny, Veruna, Ponda, Jack, Bill and all the other Aussies and Pommies in the thread

twas' fun

:first:

Didn't young Stokes play well though?

He really played a very disciplined innings and if the more experienced poms in the upper order had done a similar job then Australia would have been in trouble.

Looking forward to listening to the pommie commentary later on over @ the BBC about this.

Here's a sampler:

###

Ashes 2013-14: Australia beat England to regain urn in Perth (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/25411805)
By Tom Fordyce

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71785000/jpg/_71785051_james_anderson_out_getty.jpg

Australia have the Ashes for the first time in seven years after sealing a deserved 150-run win in Perth to take an impregnable 3-0 lead in the five-match series.

Despite a redoubtable maiden Test century from Ben Stokes in only his second Test, Michael Clarke's men took the final five wickets they needed by early afternoon on the final day to end England's 1,577-day ascendancy in cricket's oldest rivalry.

The celebrations began at 1.44pm Perth time (0544 GMT) when Mitchell Johnson - the outstanding player of the series - had James Anderson caught at short leg, and they are likely to be long and raucous after a sustained and painful drought for Australian cricket.

While this scoreline at this stage was predicted by few, Australia's overdue success has been entirely merited after they have dominated all but one day of the series.

Their margins of victory - 381 runs in Brisbane, 218 in Adelaide and now this thumping at the Waca - are a fair reflection of the performances of the two sides, and England will go to Melbourne and Sydney for the remaining Tests in real danger of a 5-0 whitewash.

Stokes was the sole silver lining to emerge from the English gloom of this third Test as he hit a technically excellent and impressively gutsy 120 in a total of 353.

While he and Matt Prior were together in a partnership of 76 on Tuesday morning, there was the briefest period of cruel hope for the English supporters who were in the majority in a sparse crowd.

But when Prior wafted outside off stump to be caught behind off Johnson for 26, that illogical illusion was quashed, and when Stokes followed after lunch, caught behind off a ball from Nathan Lyon that stayed low, the inevitable soon followed.

Tim Bresnan was brilliantly caught by Chris Rogers for 12 from Johnson's slower ball, and Graeme Swann followed soon after when he popped a bat-pad catch off Lyon to Steve Smith at short leg for four.

Anderson's demise sealed a seventh consecutive win for Australia over England at this ground, and while the continuation of the Waca hoodoo came as little surprise, the turnaround in the balance between these two teams is truly remarkable.

It is less than four months since England won the corresponding Ashes series at home by a 3-0 margin, while Australia came into this series on a run of seven defeats and not a single victory in their last nine Tests.

Great credit must go to Australia coach Darren Lehmann, who took over a team in disarray last summer and has found a side that is both settled and successful.

For England it is a dismal and chastening end to an era which has seen them win three consecutive Ashes series and go to number one in the International Cricket Council's Test rankings.

With several pivotal players in that team horribly out of form, there are likely to be several changes to the side before the fourth Test begins at the MCG on Boxing Day.

Serious questions will also be asked of how a side with so many experienced players and such an impressive track record could fold so completely so quickly.

But for now it is Australia's time to enjoy the return of the urn and all the praise it will bring them in this country.
At the head of the charge has been left-arm paceman Johnson, whose 4-78 in England's second innings mean he now has 23 wickets at an average of 15.

Yet Australia have been demonstrably superior in all departments, with the best five batsman by average, the top four bowlers, the better wicketkeeper and better fielding, and they revelled in Anderson and England's demise with fitting fervour.

Source (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/25411805)

[panopticon]

Just in case this was missed the Man of Match was Steven Smith.

Aussies celebrate:

http://images.scribblelive.com/2013/12/17/69ddab2a-fb95-4dfe-8d1b-4db3c6b2a577_500.jpg

Bring on the 4th Test, December 26-30 @ the MCG.

Also lookin' forward to Brett Lee (https://twitter.com/BrettLee_58) vs Piers Morgan (https://twitter.com/piersmorgan) @ the MCG. It's still on and should be interesting.

Some funnies to take your minds off it all:

T7xKV0xhz6I
aHGYzZ5e6as
F4dt4ThrdQc
oz8y5HU7Mg8
v5pRv2ajHkU

[panopticon]

What a difference a couple of months can make. :biggrin1:

###

Australia no chance to regain Ashes: Gatting
AFP, October 1st, 2013

Former England captain Mike Gatting has laughed off suggestions Alastair Cook’s men could face an Australia ‘backlash’ when they defend the Ashes later this year.
Despite losing the recent Ashes series in England by a convincing 3-0 margin, the Australia camp have been in bullish mood ahead of the return campaign which starts with the first Test in Brisbane in November.
But Gatting, who led England to Ashes glory in Australia in 1986-87, told BBC Sport on Monday: “What are they (Australia) going to backlash us (England) with?”
“Have they found another Shane Warne or a Glenn McGrath?” added former batsman Gatting, famously dismissed by leg-spin great Warne’s ‘ball of the century’ at Old Trafford in 1993.
“Yes, the Aussies did improve over the course of the series but you would expect them to improve because Australians are proud cricketers.
“They had a good bowling attack but sadly their batsmen let them down.
“We had the quality to win the important moments, with the ball or with the bat,” Gatting said of an England side that has now won three successive Ashes series.
“We were quite consistent, but the Australians had inconsistencies throughout.
“If the two teams are pretty much the same, I wouldn’t expect the result to be any different.”

###

:thumb:

YkF2R3jkueg

[panopticon]

From the Sydney Morning Herald (I added the emphasis :P ):

###

Aust regain Ashes with victory in Perth (http://news.smh.com.au/breaking-news-sport/aust-regain-ashes-with-victory-in-perth-20131217-2zhqx.html)
By Greg Buckle, December 17, 2013

Australia have put the pain of three straight Ashes-series defeats behind them, crushing England by 150 runs in the third Test on Tuesday to regain the urn.

Skipper Michael Clarke's men needed just 14 days of the five-match series to win back Test cricket's most famous trophy, which England have held since 2009.

Kiwi-born youngster Ben Stokes led England's brave resistance with 120 off 195 balls as the second-gamer notched the tourists' first century of the series.

Australia bowled England out for 353 in their second innings in the post-lunch session on the final day of the third Test at the WACA Ground.

Mitchell Johnson (4-78) and spinner Nathan Lyon (3-70) led the way for the Australian bowlers.

Set 504 to win, England resumed on 5-251 and reached 6-332 at lunch.

Matt Prior (26) added 76 with Stokes.

Prior was out caught behind to a wide ball from Mitchell Johnson.

Stokes top-edged a bouncer from Johnson to the fine-leg boundary to notch his maiden hundred off 159 balls.

Lyon claimed the key wicket of Stokes caught behind in the third over after lunch at 7-336.

The 22-year-old left-hander went for a big sweep shot and departed after hitting 18 fours and one six in more than four hours of batting.

Lyon struck again in his next over when Graeme Swann was caught at bat-pad for four.

Stuart Broad, limping because of a bruised foot sustained while batting against Johnson in the first innings, joined Bresnan.

Bresnan popped a catch to mid off where 36-year-old Chris Rogers held a fabulous diving attempt to his right at 9-349.

Jimmy Anderson, so often Australia's Ashes tormentor in recent times, was last man out for two.

Australia put themselves in a strong position on Monday as Shane Watson smashed 103 in the home side's second innings of 6(dec)-369.

Watson is a veteran of Australia's past three losing Ashes series, along with Michael Clarke, Brad Haddin and Peter Siddle.

"We got them back so it feels amazing," Clarke said.

Clarke said his side's celebrations would not cause them to lose focus on the challenge of sweeping England.

"Our goal is to get back to being the number one team in the world. But we've got two more Test matches and we'd love to go five-nil up in the series," he said.

Australia can rise from fifth to third by winning the final two Tests and securing a five-nil result.

Left-arm quick Johnson has taken 23 wickets at 15.47 in the series, including man-of-the-match performances in the first two Tests.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he got man of the series," Clarke said.

Clarke said Australia's losing campaign in the UK series in 2013 had been a tough time.

"We went through what England's going through now not long ago in the UK," Clarke said.

"We had a tough time of it in the UK and copped a lot of criticism, but we also had a lot of support. For those people who have stuck by us, thank you."

England captain Alastair Cook said Australia's resurgence in the return series hadn't surprised him.

"We knew what a good side they were in England. You've got to be at the top of your game to beat them, and we haven't been there," Cook said.

"They've been ruthless.

"Yes, the Ashes is gone which is going to hurt for a while."

Steve Smith was named man of the match after scoring 111 in Australia's first innings of 385.

Source (http://news.smh.com.au/breaking-news-sport/aust-regain-ashes-with-victory-in-perth-20131217-2zhqx.html)

[Cidersomerset]

The Aussie,s have deservedly regained the Ashes. There has only been one team in it so far !





http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71785000/jpg/_71785347_australia_celeb_reuters.jpg

[panopticon]

Isn't it amazing how even the smallest things can make the difference in someone's life.

I started looking at Ben Stokes because I wondered how a young New Zealand bloke could end up playing for England.

His old man, Ged Stokes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerard_Stokes), was a former Rugby League player for NZ who played for Workington Town (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workington_Town) in England as a young bloke for a bit before going back to NZ to work as a coach. He was very successful as a coach and named NZ coach of the year in 2000.

So how did young Ben end up in England?

His old man was overlooked as NZ coach and became assistant coach in 2001 and in 2003 he became coach of New Zealand 'A'. During 2002 he was coach of the Wellington Orcas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wellington_Orcas) but didn't have his contract renewed (he wanted more money) and while he was in England with the New Zealand 'A' his old club, Workington Town, offered him their head coach position. He took it and was coach there for a few years. He then went and coached the Serbian national side before returning to New Zealand.

Young Ben went to England with his old man when he went to coach Workington Town and because he was at school there stayed on.

Just a twist of fate. If his Dad had gotten the New Zealand head coach job he'd never have gone to England. If his Dad had been given the pay increase at Wellington he'd have been playing for New Zealand...

Funny how life works ain't it.

[sheme]

It would be interesting to know how much microwave energy both sides have been subjected to during Englands stay. Whilst not wishing to take anything from Aussies win, this is just a thought I have, maneuvers like that would work-and pay dividends in a win for a countries morale.
But that just wouldn't be cricket would it?

I noticed the disdain in the voice of our cricket reporter, disdain for the out of control nasty comments on the pitch- he is calling for a ban as he feels this practice has now reached new depths of depravity.

[panopticon]

I noticed the disdain in the voice of our cricket reporter, disdain for the out of control nasty comments on the pitch- he is calling for a ban as he feels this practice has now reached new depths of depravity.

Really? What sort of problem was there with the WACA pitch?

Same as it always is. Fast & bouncy. Straight as a die day 1 & 2 then cracks appear from day 3 (though sometimes earlier) leading to exciting play. Good for bowlers and batsmen alike.

Here it is from the crease on day 5.

[jackovesk]

You (Bloody Beauty)...




1st Test (Australia)...:first:

2nd Test (Australia)...:first:

3rd Test (Australia)...:first:

= http://www.animateit.net/data/media/june2010/kangaroo001.gifhttp://www.sevenoaksart.co.uk/images/ashes.gif

We've waited a long time to (Get 'Em' Back) now the Ashes are (HOME) in their rightful resting place...

Now for the "VICTORY SPEECH"

I'd first like to start by (THANKING) the ACB for getting rid of Mickey Arthur and replacing him with Darren (BOOF) Lehman...

Secondly, I think its time to say...


:director: ))))))))))))))))))))) "I TOLD YOU SO"


Ok enough of this banter, let the (Real Stuff) begin...

My thoughts on (WHY?) I believe we can bring the ASHES back to their rightful resting place...

Thu 21 Nov 2013 Australia vs England - Ashes - 1st Test

http://media.ticketmaster.com/tm/en-au/dbimages/144980a.png

Let's start with the English team...

England Ashes squad:




1. Alastair Cook, (Makes runs down here consistently, but his biggest weakness is his Captaincy)

2. Joe Root, (Over-Rated) will struggle down-under (Arrogant - Flash in the Pan)

3. Jonathan Trott, (Over-Rated) Aussies have finally worked out he doesn't like the 'Short-Ball' and will be violently 'Exposed' on our bouncy wickets)

4. Kevin Pietersen, Great player, dogged by inconsistency. Generally stands up down-under)

5. Ian Bell, England's (Best-In Form) Batsmen, once labeled the 'Sherminator' by Shane Warne. If he doesn't perform, England are in 'Big-Trouble!

6. Jonny Bairstow, What a 'Joke' he's just not good enough. (Period!)

7. Matt Prior, Great wicket keeper, but like Trott he's susceptable to the 'Short-Ball'

8. Stuart Broad, Not a fan, but respect his work ethic and his ability to get wickets

9. Graeme Swann, Great Spinner, but the PTB please 'STOP' comparing him to Warney (Chalk & Cheese) Warnies the 'Best' by a mile!

10. James Anderson, What a 'Bowler' one that Aussies 'Love to HATE'

11. Steven Finn, Could surprise but I doubt it!

12. Boyd Rankin ?

13. Monty Panesar, seriously?

Australian Ashes squad:




1. Chris Rogers - Battler who has now (Earnt his Spot) never gives in

2. David Warner - What a 'STAR', this series you (WILL) see him at his best

3. Shane Watson - When he's opening and 'inform' LOOKOUT..!

4. Michael Clarke - Record speaks for itself (Attacking Captain who is Streaks ahead of Alistair Cook)

5. Brad Haddin - Our purest stroker of the willow who will be better off after the last series and always makes 'Big Runs' at crucial times

6. Peter Siddle - Known solid performer (Crucial) to our success

7. Ryan Harris - plagued by injury (The World is yet to see the Best of him)

8. Jackson Bird - Australia's most (Under-Rated) bowler, due to injury and lack of opportunity

9. Ed Cowen - Has had more than enough opportunities, wilts under pressure getting out more often than not on stupid shot selection - Not Good Enough!

10. Phil Hughes - Battled an overcame his technique to reinstate himself back into the side, tough competitor who deserves his spot...

11. Usman Khawaja - ACB have given this guy more chances than most (Has to perform in this Series) or he risks never to wear the 'Baggy-Green' again!

12. James Pattinson - Bowling in England with (Stress Fractures) in his back, if fit? Watch out England!

13. Mitchell Starc, (What a GUN) Definitely haven't seen the best of him. If we do? Its (Goodnight Irene)..!

14. Matthew Wade, solid wicketkeeper may get a start in the middle order

15. Mitch Johnson is (In Form) and selected for the 1st Test at the GABBA. This is his last chance and he (Won't) disappoint..!!!!!!!!!

Well there you have it, my take on both Teams, now for the summation...

Summary

Why do I think the Aussies will (Win-back) the Ashes in Nov 2013..?

Bullet Points



We have the Best (Coach - Darren Lehman) by a proverbial mile
We have the Best Captain
Mitchell Starc to (Fire)
The (Fat-Lady) has already started to sing for some of our Batsmen and its their (Last Chance)..!
Davey Warner poised to have his best (Series) ever
Jackson Bird - If fit, bowls a straight, good consistent line & has the ability to move the ball late (Will surprise) if he gets the call up
All our Batsmen are (Due)
James Faulkner is a (Match-Winner) and will prove that this Series


England's lineup is getting a little too old, and the youngsters they are bringing in are simply (Over-Rated) and have never really been put to the test under the tough Australian conditions...

Australia on the other hand is still in the (Re-building) phase and are hurting after our successive losses and will be (Desperate) for Pay-Back...

Our youngsters compliment our Team, not hinder it & will be looking to impress and (more Importantly) they are (only) brought into the side when they are (In-Form)...

Aussies will play it down and label themselves the (Underdogs) and we just love to (Beat the Poms) as most know and that's (EXACTLY) how it will play out starting next week...

Regards,

Jack

Thirdly, it was fantastic to see all that 'Hard Work' pay off for the players and the camaraderie shown in the aftermatch celebrations, with the TV Camera's then banished from the dressing rooms so the boys could privately...


Belt Out ))))))) "Underneath The Southern Cross I Stand"

Fourthly England...

There were only (2 Positives) I could see for England...



Carberry - Great Debut, solid performance

Ben Stokes - I think England have unearthed themselves a potential future star of the game. He got loads of talent ball/bat, he (Doesn't Give In (unlike one "Jimmy Anderson" :cry:), he's a tough competitor and best of all he's got a bit of (MONGREL) in him..!


Its been a long wait, (4 Years, 3 Months & 25 days), August 27th 2009 to be exact...

PS - Not to put words in Bill's mouth, however if I were a 'Mind-Reader' he would be thinking something along these lines...

http://i40.tinypic.com/2qidblt.gif

[araucaria]

:behindsofa: I am going to suggest that, now that the Ashes have been won back :behindsofa: that they be given a proper burial :behindsofa: and that this sporting rivalry revert to competing for a more positive symbol, which in the current climate might be a cup or a shield or a plate or an original sculpture
Just saying :behindsofa:
:)

[panopticon]

It appears Test cricket is being removed from the WACA due to insufficient capacity and amenities.

Looks like Hobart is on the cards as a replacement. Good for Tasmania but what a bloody shame for cricket.

The WACA is an iconic wicket with a fantastic pitch and it will be a shame to see the home of Lillee and Marsh relegated.

Anyway, looking forward to the game at the MCG on Boxing Day (suitable ain't it) with a capacity of around a 100,000!

Reckon it will be standing room only there too. What an atmosphere it will be.

Kind of wish I was going...

BTW, Australia has announced it will retain the same side for the MCG Test.

Just in case you were wonderin'... :photo:

[Hazel]

Aaaa Boxing :boxing: Day will definitely be something to look forward to / our boys will be back in for battle again like the knights of yore..

But the insignia on their armour will be the Ashes trophy still smokin' from their win!

[araucaria]

Bill Ryan, Ex-England cricket supporter:
(unprintable) **


* He really did say that.
** He really did say that, as well.

:)
Cheer up Bill, it's not the end of the world - that was last December :)

[Cidersomerset]

Bill Ryan, Ex-England cricket supporter:
(unprintable) **


* He really did say that.
** He really did say that, as well.

:)
Cheer up Bill, it's not the end of the world - that was last December :)





I wouldn't say that araucaria.....

IeO7uNkGL_8

[Cidersomerset]

Oh s--t theres two more tests........Even mainstream are panicking !!!!

-XTwWqzKeXc

[araucaria]

Oh s--t theres two more tests........Even mainstream are panicking !!!!

-XTwWqzKeXc
There's plenty of room for things to get worse/better (depending on your viewpoint). It's always been pretty close so far: a few hundred runs, compared with say winning/losing by nine or ten wickets, or an innings and a half. The end of the world and some.

It's still only a game.

[Cidersomerset]

There's plenty of room for things to get worse/better (depending on your viewpoint). It's always been pretty close so far: a few hundred runs, compared with say winning/losing by nine or ten wickets, or an innings and a half. The end of the world and some.

It's still only a game.




The Bright side is someone did dig in at last......

Analyst at the Ashes: 'Ben Stokes showed real valour with the bat'

_wHLTaB2g0g

A bit of fun with Michael Slater.......

[Cidersomerset]

The Analyst at the Ashes: three reasons why England lost the series

3BVaXx2QWd0

Published on 17 Dec 2013


As Australia celebrate regaining the Ashes in three Tests, Simon Hughes gives three
reasons why England lost the series.

In a fitting finish to Australia regaining the Ashes, it was Mitchell Johnson steaming
in with the wind at his back who took the wicket which ended England's three-
series hold on the urn.

Johnson wasn't considered to be in good enough form for the last Ashes tour, when
England completed a 3-0 win at home in August.

Back on Australian soil, he terrorised the England batsmen, taking 23 wickets to
help Australia secure its most coveted prize with two matches to spare. After a
barren stretch of nine tests without a win, including seven defeats in India and
England, Michael Clarke's Australians have now won three back-to-back and are
starting to talk about a 5-0 sweep.

The Telegraph's cricket analyst Simon Hughes says that there were three reasons
why England lost the series; Australia's fast bowling, England's poor shot selection,
and Australia's excellent fielding.

[Cidersomerset]

Whinging Pom in Australia

yAEYOvAHWOg

In this case a welsh one ........

[Cidersomerset]

http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/page/express_logo_christmas.png


Proof we’re whinging Poms

BRITAIN is a nation of Victor Meldrews who spend up to three hours a week complaining, research claims.
By: Daily Express Reporter
Published: Wed, August 1, 2012

http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/285x214/336627_1.jpg

Scottish actor....
Victor Meldrew actor Richard Wilson


People in the North-east are biggest moaners, mimicking that eternal pessimist
from the TV comedy One Foot In The Grave by spending more than 20 minutes a night grizzling.

In contrast, those in the West Midlands whinge for just nine minutes.

But the poll of 2,000 people found that despite the moaning, workers are finding it
tougher to relax than they did a year ago, especially women.



The living room and sofa are vital to the well-being of the nation

Christine Stoddart of furniture chain DFS


Hairdressers, chefs and nurses have most difficulty unwinding, with two thirds of
young people struggling to switch off. Lounging on the sofa is top for de-stressing,
16 per cent have a bath and six per cent an early night.

Christine Stoddart, of furniture chain DFS, who led the study, said: “The living room
and sofa are vital to the well-being of the nation.”

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/336627/Proof-we-re-whinging-Poms

[Cidersomerset]

My answer to my last post as a happy west country man is......

mLNrLI3OBwg

I must be going slightly mad....I'm posting to myself....LOL

[varuna]

..well big congrats to all Aussie fans! Well done...

was trying to upload a photo of 3 of Englands players - see here

http://amazingpics588.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/funny-cricket-pictures.html (3 bats stratetegly placed) :jaw: they could always take up modelling...

but stormy weather here hampering my efforts! Someone (cidersomerset) might be able to help...

[Cidersomerset]

Is this the shot Veruna..LOL

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_-A4vw5BwqxA/TRjkZGUrsSI/AAAAAAAAFMA/IZYk5NJ0AmU/Funny%20%20England%20Cricketers%20Pics%20Scraps%20for%20Orkut%20%285%29.jpg

You know what you get with a black bat !!.........Black balls !!...LOL

[varuna]

Is this the shot Veruna..LOL

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_-A4vw5BwqxA/TRjkZGUrsSI/AAAAAAAAFMA/IZYk5NJ0AmU/Funny%20%20England%20Cricketers%20Pics%20Scraps%20for%20Orkut%20%285%29.jpg

You know what you get with a black bat !!.........Black balls !!...LOL

....thank you cidersomerset....I wonder what size bats they use?

I think I am attempting to distract myself from the harsh reality :sad:

[jackovesk]

Shocking pic of Stuart Broad's foot, injured by Mitchell Johnson in third Ashes Test at the WACA

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2013/12/16/1226784/059041-d9f9ee8a-65ef-11e3-b1c2-12026a975936.jpg
Ouch. Picture: Screenshot Channel Nine Source: NewsComAu

News.com.au has this morning obtained highly disturbing images of Stuart's Broad's foot injury.

The images are displayed lower down the page in order to let you decide whether you want to see them or not. We warn you, the truth is not pretty - especially for England fans. Scroll down at your own peril.

http://resources0.news.com.au/images/2013/12/16/1226784/059068-de1d8724-65ef-11e3-b1c2-12026a975936.jpg
At long last the umpires got something right. Source: NewsComAu

Broad was injured yesterday in what can only be described as a comical attempt to defend a scorching yorker by Australian pace spearhead Mitchell Johnson.

The ball stuck the Englishman on the foot, and the X-Ray below reveals the true extent of the horror.

Broad may take no further part in this series. If that's the case, the England team's collective IQ and sense of fair play are both expected to skyrocket.

They'll still be terrible at cricket, though.

Anyway, here's the pic. It's pretty gruesome. Don't say we didn't warn you.

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2013/12/16/1226784/058649-372377ae-65f3-11e3-879d-630c394bcc3d.jpg
We warned you. Source: NewsComAu

There are a whole bunch more funny Stuart Broad memes and pics here. And to read a yarn from earlier this summer on why Broad is actually more Aussie than any of the Aussies, click here.

http://www.perthnow.com.au/sport/shocking-pic-of-stuart-broads-foot-injured-by-mitchell-johnson-in-third-ashes-test-at-the-waca/story-fnhq5iat-1226784058678

PS - Mitch Johnson was asked for his comment, however he declined to answer...

http://www.sportsbet.com.au/blog/wp-content/uploads/insta003.gif

:)

[Hazel]

On the topic of whinging Poms... and in respect of the 'fess-up' of Cidersomerset

I'm humbled enuff to admit that as an immigrant here in Australia of 41yrs standing... I've had the experiential immersion (observation and learning) in both cultures and can at once decry the neurotic/negative cultural tendencies of Poms and cringe at the audacious gumption of 'we' Aussies.

But when you look at such through the lens of the inter-pollination of an old plant, seeding the new... it can be wholly appreciated that there are now wonderful co-existing hybrids flourishing in 'our' current paradigm/world view.

I for one celebrate this fact.

therefore the game of cricket that ironically remains a colonial ghosting, actually only serves to be a reminder of our unique localized tendencies, in spite of our collective humanity.

In aspect of Globalization...
what a God send

Vive le 'differance
(excuse the poor French / and so we should ;))

[panopticon]

So, we can now say that there is conclusive evidence that comets work as portents for major events.

Why else would there have been 4 comets visible from the Southern Hemisphere leading up to the Ashes?

This is proof positive that there is order to the pooliverse!!!

Great A'Tuin moved to prove this to us (just as we are protected in times of cosmic calamity by Great A'Tuin's shell) and we, as witnesses to this miracle, must spread the word or forever be forced to live as Auditor's, those bureaucratic half-life creatures of the nether regions.

So the Creator made for us XXXX and named the continent whence it comes forth with this same name. Our bipedal tail-ed marsupials show this to be true.

How can these obvious facts be ignored?

It is a conspiracy. It is that simple. But Great A'Tuin, oh gentle Great A'Tuin, will not put up with this abuse of XXXX & her people, but shall honour the Creator's most beautiful and sublime continent.

We have been shown this truth!

How can any who have seen this be unchanged? I call you all as witnesses!

Truth is upon us, fear not but step carefully upon the disc and all will be as it should once again.

http://www.grummdesign.co.uk/images/great_a__tuin_by_schabi-d2xmkjr.jpg

:hail: Terry Pratchett, what a legend. ;)

[panopticon]

Looks like Swann has decided to pre-empt the selectors and retire.

Guess it was just too much for 'im gettin' knocked all over the place by a young no-body.

28 off one over...

Wonder if Prior and Pietersen are going to follow suit? :suspicious:

###

Ashes: England spinner Graeme Swann announces retirement from international cricket (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-22/ashes3a-england-spinner-graeme-swann-announces-retirement-from/5171420)

http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/5171510-3x2-700x467.jpg

England spinner Graeme Swann has announced his retirement from international cricket, only four days out from the Boxing Day Test against Australia at the MCG.

Swann made the shock announcement this morning, bringing down the curtain on a 60-Test career in which he claimed 255 wickets at an average of 29.96.

But the 34-year-old off spinner endured a disappointing Ashes campaign, taking only seven wickets at 80 runs in the three Tests completed.

Swann told a media conference in Melbourne this morning it was during England's 150-run loss in the third Ashes Test in Perth that he knew it was "time to go".

"It was probably halfway through that Perth game to be honest," he said.

"My body doesn't like playing long forms of cricket, my arm doesn't cope well with bowling 30, 40 overs in the first innings and then repeating it in the second innings.

"I could feel my performances tapering off at the backend of games and I wasn't happy with that. I wasn't willing to just hang on and get by being a bit-part player."

Swann says it would be "selfish" to remain in the England line-up, with the Ashes now lost and the need to re-build an ageing squad.

"When I came out on this trip I half expected it to be my last tour for England," he said.

"I was desperately hoping to win the Ashes for England again like we did in 2010/11.

"But with the Ashes gone now in those three Tests matches, personally I think to stay on and selfishly play just to experience another Boxing Day Test match and Sydney Test match, it would be wrong for the team and would be wrong for me as well.

"It's time for someone else to strap themselves in and enjoy the ride like I have done."

Swann denies a recent social media controversy following the Perth encounter led to his decision to leave the Test arena.

"I did apologise for that, it had nothing to do with it," he said.

Swann maintains it was his decision to retire

Swann told England captain Alastair Cook and team director Andy Flower of his decision to retire on Saturday.

He says he has not been pushed into retirement, but rather believes he is making the right move for the England camp.

"Andy was very understanding, he sat me down ... he kept checking to make sure I was sure I was doing the right thing," Swann said.

"But like I said, once I made my mind up I made the decision for the right reasons."

Left-arm spinner Monty Panesar is likely to replace Swann for the Melbourne and Sydney Tests.

But Swann hopes the uncapped Scott Borthwick will be considered as a long-term replacement in the next 12 months.

"I think Monty's going to come in and do a great job in this game coming up this week and whoever ends up taking the role full-time will do a great job as well," he said.

"Personally I hope little Scotty Borthwick gets the chance before long. He's a leg spinner, he's got a bit of X-factor as well."

Flower says Swann deserves to be remembered as a true servant of the game.

"His commitment, competitive spirit and sense of humour have been recognised and admired by team-mates and supporters alike and he has played a big part in England's success over the last five years," he said in a statement.

"The dressing room will be a very different place without Graeme's unique personality and I would like to wish him all the very best for the future."

Swann proved a handy lower-order batsman for England at the Test level, posting five half-centuries - including a highest score of 85 - with an average of 22.09.

He played 79 one-day internationals for England after making his debut at the age of 20 in 2000 against South Africa.

He collected 104 wickets in one-day internationals and captained England's Twenty20 side on three occasions.

Source (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-22/ashes3a-england-spinner-graeme-swann-announces-retirement-from/5171420)

[Cidersomerset]

Good assessment from Geofrey...

Boycott: Swann retirement "very honest"
Duration: 06:06

Geoffrey Boycott on Graeme Swann retirement: "very honest to say he's shot it".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01nv7bq

[varuna]

Looks like Swann has decided to pre-empt the selectors and retire.

Guess it was just too much for 'im gettin' knocked all over the place by a young no-body.

28 off one over...

Wonder if Prior and Pietersen are going to follow suit? :suspicious:

###

Ashes: England spinner Graeme Swann announces retirement from international cricket (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-22/ashes3a-england-spinner-graeme-swann-announces-retirement-from/5171420)

http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/5171510-3x2-700x467.jpg

England spinner Graeme Swann has announced his retirement from international cricket, only four days out from the Boxing Day Test against Australia at the MCG.

Swann made the shock announcement this morning, bringing down the curtain on a 60-Test career in which he claimed 255 wickets at an average of 29.96.

But the 34-year-old off spinner endured a disappointing Ashes campaign, taking only seven wickets at 80 runs in the three Tests completed.

Swann told a media conference in Melbourne this morning it was during England's 150-run loss in the third Ashes Test in Perth that he knew it was "time to go".

"It was probably halfway through that Perth game to be honest," he said.

"My body doesn't like playing long forms of cricket, my arm doesn't cope well with bowling 30, 40 overs in the first innings and then repeating it in the second innings.

"I could feel my performances tapering off at the backend of games and I wasn't happy with that. I wasn't willing to just hang on and get by being a bit-part player."

Swann says it would be "selfish" to remain in the England line-up, with the Ashes now lost and the need to re-build an ageing squad.

"When I came out on this trip I half expected it to be my last tour for England," he said.

"I was desperately hoping to win the Ashes for England again like we did in 2010/11.

"But with the Ashes gone now in those three Tests matches, personally I think to stay on and selfishly play just to experience another Boxing Day Test match and Sydney Test match, it would be wrong for the team and would be wrong for me as well.

"It's time for someone else to strap themselves in and enjoy the ride like I have done."

Swann denies a recent social media controversy following the Perth encounter led to his decision to leave the Test arena.

"I did apologise for that, it had nothing to do with it," he said.

Swann maintains it was his decision to retire

Swann told England captain Alastair Cook and team director Andy Flower of his decision to retire on Saturday.

He says he has not been pushed into retirement, but rather believes he is making the right move for the England camp.

"Andy was very understanding, he sat me down ... he kept checking to make sure I was sure I was doing the right thing," Swann said.

"But like I said, once I made my mind up I made the decision for the right reasons."

Left-arm spinner Monty Panesar is likely to replace Swann for the Melbourne and Sydney Tests.

But Swann hopes the uncapped Scott Borthwick will be considered as a long-term replacement in the next 12 months.

"I think Monty's going to come in and do a great job in this game coming up this week and whoever ends up taking the role full-time will do a great job as well," he said.

"Personally I hope little Scotty Borthwick gets the chance before long. He's a leg spinner, he's got a bit of X-factor as well."

Flower says Swann deserves to be remembered as a true servant of the game.

"His commitment, competitive spirit and sense of humour have been recognised and admired by team-mates and supporters alike and he has played a big part in England's success over the last five years," he said in a statement.

"The dressing room will be a very different place without Graeme's unique personality and I would like to wish him all the very best for the future."

Swann proved a handy lower-order batsman for England at the Test level, posting five half-centuries - including a highest score of 85 - with an average of 22.09.

He played 79 one-day internationals for England after making his debut at the age of 20 in 2000 against South Africa.

He collected 104 wickets in one-day internationals and captained England's Twenty20 side on three occasions.

Source (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-22/ashes3a-england-spinner-graeme-swann-announces-retirement-from/5171420)

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/sport/cricket/cricketer-graeme-swanns-granny-blames-nasty-aussies-for-ashes-exit/story-fnkc9h32-1226789209391

....I knew there was more to this ....:) I wonder how swann feels about his Gran chipping in...bless, the Australian press are enjoying this

[panopticon]

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/sport/cricket/cricketer-graeme-swanns-granny-blames-nasty-aussies-for-ashes-exit/story-fnkc9h32-1226789209391

....I knew there was more to this ....:) I wonder how swann feels about his Gran chipping in...bless, the Australian press are enjoying this

Yeah, imagine all those nasty Aussies picking on her poor Grandson.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shame on them I say!

Meanwhile in the Aussie preparations for Boxing day young Mitchell decided to listen in on the Pom's strategy session...

Unfortunately he'd just finished watching The Shining :)

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=24244&d=1387855284

I've got no idea why they're scared of such a likeable young lad.

[jackovesk]

Looks like Swann has decided to pre-empt the selectors and retire.

Guess it was just too much for 'im gettin' knocked all over the place by a young no-body.

28 off one over...

Wonder if Prior and Pietersen are going to follow suit? :suspicious:

###

Ashes: England spinner Graeme Swann announces retirement from international cricket (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-22/ashes3a-england-spinner-graeme-swann-announces-retirement-from/5171420)

http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/5171510-3x2-700x467.jpg

England spinner Graeme Swann has announced his retirement from international cricket, only four days out from the Boxing Day Test against Australia at the MCG.

Swann made the shock announcement this morning, bringing down the curtain on a 60-Test career in which he claimed 255 wickets at an average of 29.96.

But the 34-year-old off spinner endured a disappointing Ashes campaign, taking only seven wickets at 80 runs in the three Tests completed.

Swann told a media conference in Melbourne this morning it was during England's 150-run loss in the third Ashes Test in Perth that he knew it was "time to go".

"It was probably halfway through that Perth game to be honest," he said.

"My body doesn't like playing long forms of cricket, my arm doesn't cope well with bowling 30, 40 overs in the first innings and then repeating it in the second innings.

"I could feel my performances tapering off at the backend of games and I wasn't happy with that. I wasn't willing to just hang on and get by being a bit-part player."

Swann says it would be "selfish" to remain in the England line-up, with the Ashes now lost and the need to re-build an ageing squad.

"When I came out on this trip I half expected it to be my last tour for England," he said.

"I was desperately hoping to win the Ashes for England again like we did in 2010/11.

"But with the Ashes gone now in those three Tests matches, personally I think to stay on and selfishly play just to experience another Boxing Day Test match and Sydney Test match, it would be wrong for the team and would be wrong for me as well.

"It's time for someone else to strap themselves in and enjoy the ride like I have done."

Swann denies a recent social media controversy following the Perth encounter led to his decision to leave the Test arena.

"I did apologise for that, it had nothing to do with it," he said.

Swann maintains it was his decision to retire

Swann told England captain Alastair Cook and team director Andy Flower of his decision to retire on Saturday.

He says he has not been pushed into retirement, but rather believes he is making the right move for the England camp.

"Andy was very understanding, he sat me down ... he kept checking to make sure I was sure I was doing the right thing," Swann said.

"But like I said, once I made my mind up I made the decision for the right reasons."

Left-arm spinner Monty Panesar is likely to replace Swann for the Melbourne and Sydney Tests.

But Swann hopes the uncapped Scott Borthwick will be considered as a long-term replacement in the next 12 months.

"I think Monty's going to come in and do a great job in this game coming up this week and whoever ends up taking the role full-time will do a great job as well," he said.

"Personally I hope little Scotty Borthwick gets the chance before long. He's a leg spinner, he's got a bit of X-factor as well."

Flower says Swann deserves to be remembered as a true servant of the game.

"His commitment, competitive spirit and sense of humour have been recognised and admired by team-mates and supporters alike and he has played a big part in England's success over the last five years," he said in a statement.

"The dressing room will be a very different place without Graeme's unique personality and I would like to wish him all the very best for the future."

Swann proved a handy lower-order batsman for England at the Test level, posting five half-centuries - including a highest score of 85 - with an average of 22.09.

He played 79 one-day internationals for England after making his debut at the age of 20 in 2000 against South Africa.

He collected 104 wickets in one-day internationals and captained England's Twenty20 side on three occasions.

Source (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-22/ashes3a-england-spinner-graeme-swann-announces-retirement-from/5171420)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXUAyRRkI6k

[varuna]

....what's this? pussygate the sequel lol :) have a great Christmas everyone!

[panopticon]

Let the games begin!

Australia won the toss and elected to bowl.

Harris takes the first over.

[Hazel]

Woohoooo its on again!

May the best team win Again! :peace:

[panopticon]

Evidently Piers Morgan (https://twitter.com/piersmorgan) might be starting to get a bit nervous about facing up to Brett Lee (https://twitter.com/BrettLee_58) on the 27th:


Piers Morgan ‏@piersmorgan
Gulp> > RT @MichaelVaughan Sleep well @piersmorgan .!!!!!!! #Boom http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlqUyzk2I3U

OlqUyzk2I3U

I don't think there's anyone who actually wants Brett Lee to kill Piers Morgan.

Now, maiming... That's a different story... Reckon there's a few who might not be overly upset about that...


Piers Morgan ‏@piersmorgan
He looks nervous > RT @MichaelVaughan: Got you a Xmas Present @piersmorgan

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BcXbZJUCIAADz7K.jpg

No Piers, I think ya may have misread that a tad... :peep: :flame:

[panopticon]

zRT07Zf_wzk

[panopticon]

P1fpSBo9ghg
England lead by 100.

[Hazel]

mmm the Pom's lost the toss again....

havta' say am feelin' another Aussie victory in me waters...

:humble:

[panopticon]

So looks like Morgan is ready for Lee tomorrow (hehehe):


Brett Lee ‏@BrettLee_58
Right here we are ! Can't believe how nice he is being to me bring a spare pair of undies tomorrow champ

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BcYStpPCMAAUTpr.jpg

[panopticon]

mmm the Pom's lost the toss again....

havta' say am feelin' another Aussie victory in me waters...


I dunno Crapper.

England is leading by 106...

[panopticon]

Na64Q-V-Zeo
England leading by 108.

[Hazel]

Pietersen the peuker poor lad..

chundering on the Melbourne pitch will make for a slippery innings

find that gaffer tape willya :tape2:

[panopticon]

Pietersen needed medical assistance because he was distressed.

Poor bugger swallowed a fly and was almost unable to continue...

Toughen up Princess.

England leads by 185.

¤=[Post Update]=¤


Pietersen the peuker poor lad..

chundering on the Melbourne pitch will make for a slippery innings

find that gaffer tape willya :tape2:

Nuffin like a bita gaffa. It'll fix anyfing wat ails ya! :)

[Hazel]

Heeeere comes Mitchell our wild bull...

Yeeehaaaaa Stokes gone !!!!

[Hazel]

Half hour to go and Eng 5/208

Bairstow looks like a kid goat up for sacrifice

something bigs commin' for Stralia


ahaaa new it he's out Big Time
well done Mitchell

[panopticon]

hehehehe Goodun Johnson.

England leading by 216...

[panopticon]

Well that's it for day one of the fourth test.

The Poms are winning!

England leading Australia by 226.

[Hazel]

K.... innings done 4 the day,
seeya with a fresh Crownie t'morra 4 another toe curler..

[panopticon]

I wonder how ol' Piers Morgan'll be sleepin' tanite?

Reckon e mitebeavin a bita tossnturn fore tamorra! :)

[Hazel]

I wonder how ol' Piers Morgan'll be sleepin' tanite?

Reckon e mitebeavin a bita tossnturn fore tamorra! :)

yeah dead cert' there pantyliner...

[Cidersomerset]

Glad you Aussie are still enjoying this ..LOL....But we have survived a
whole day without being all out ..Hurray !!....Though the run rate is
crap even with Pietersons ....67 * Even 'Boycs' should be proud of
how long it took him 242 mins. Now that is playing for the team !!


England 1st Innings226 for 6 (89.0 overs)

Balls mins Runs 4s 6s


Cook c Clarke b Siddlel.................27.....70....47...3..0
Carberry .......b Watson................38...145..103...6..0
Root c Haddin b Harris.................24....115....82...2..0
Pietersen .......not out...................67....242..152...4..1
Bell c Haddin ..b Harris.................27.....120....98..1..0
Stokes .....c Watson b Johnson......14......33....23...1..1
Bairstow .......b Johnson..............10......16....17...0..1
Bresnan...... not out .................... 1.....19....13...0...0

Extras 1nb 1w 10b 6lb 18
Total for 6 226 (89.0 ovs)

[Cidersomerset]

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/60303000/jpg/_60303356_gb.jpg


Geoffrey Boycott, Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"I respect what Pietersen has done today it put to rest all the nonsense
he said about 'this is the way I play'. He can put his head down as good
as anybody because he is that good a player. I love his batting, at times
I despair, but don't let anybody criticise him today, he didn't do any daft
things and stayed there."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25468707

[Cidersomerset]

World record
The Boxing Day Test in Melbourne is always one of the iconic sporting occasions,
but this was even more special as no fewer than 91,092 flocked through the gates
of the legendary four-tiered Melbourne Cricket Ground.

That eclipsed the previous record for a Test of 90,800 at the same venue in
February 1961 for an Australia-West Indies match.



http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71954000/jpg/_71954950_worldrecord.jpg

I think the BEEB could have found a photo with the stands full to represent
the record..LOL.......Though it was near close of play.

[Hazel]

A slow but entertaining day yesterday at the MCG..

am feelin' there'll be a tad more fire on the runway t'day

Look OUT!

:cheer2:

[Hazel]

YEEEHAAA Johnson outs Peiterson :cool:

[Hazel]

Mitchell Johnson the Iron Horse bowler
bowls out Broad who couldn't hold his sword

Nathan Lyons excited eyes up next to Andersons big hit out

c'mon Stralia.. close this innings :flame:

Eng 9/250

ooh Monty got hit in the python.. poor fella

[varuna]

Just stayed up to watch the end of our innings! lots of starts, Pieterson did well, shame he couldn't keep going til 100...unable to deal with Johnson, England just don't have a answer to him, superb bowling....glad Monty is ok..we need him! Hope to wake up to a better bowling performance.

[panopticon]

England all out for 255.

Australia to bat.

Now, the real match of the day is Brett Lee (https://twitter.com/BrettLee_58) vs Piers Morgan (https://twitter.com/piersmorgan).

For anyone whose interested Piers Morgan (https://twitter.com/piersmorgan) twittered the following a few hours ago:


Piers Morgan ‏@piersmorgan 3h
Need some fielders for the @BrettLee_58 showdown - one on the boundary, one on the roof, one in the street. @MCG

Morgan reckons it's going to go something like this:

-KoN6NTUG1Q
Lee (https://twitter.com/BrettLee_58) reckons more like this:

ptQVc1MtIU4
Channel 9 seems to agree with Lee as this was twittered by Morgan:


Piers Morgan ‏@piersmorgan
So @Channel9 just sent me a personal indemnity form to sign. 'The risks involved may result in my personal injury or death'.
Lookin forward ta watchin this match. :rolleyes:

[panopticon]

Went round a mates place and watched Piers Morgan run like a pussy from Lee's quicks.

Talked a big game but Morgan ended up on his arse.

Lee wasn't really even trying.

1 over, no contact from Morgan between bat and ball.

Not to say there wasn't any contact made between Morgan and the ball... There was a bit of that.

So, from 6 balls, 1 wicket, no runs, 3 (possibly 4) impacts on Morgan's shaking shell.

Good crowd who really enjoyed watching the loud mouth get pinged.

Johnson, Harris and Siddle were watching on all having a good laugh.

Good stuff Lee. It's hard to hit a fleeing target... :)

And here it is:

AdEkcrZUmKY
I think Brett Lee expressed it best:


Brett Lee ‏@BrettLee_58 16m
@piersmorgan that's what happens when you talk it up.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bcd5hbsCMAAVaN2.jpg

Hehehehehe. Good one bloke.

That would be arse before wicket I believe... :becky:

[jackovesk]

Went round a mates place and watched Piers Morgan run like a pussy from Lee's quicks.

Talked a big game but Morgan ended up on his arse.

Lee wasn't really even trying.

1 over, no contact from Morgan between bat and ball.

Not to say there wasn't any contact made between Morgan and the ball... There was a bit of that.

So, from 6 balls, 1 wicket, no runs, 3 (possibly 4) impacts on Morgan's shaking shell.

Good crowd who really enjoyed watching the loud mouth get pinged.

Johnson, Harris and Siddle were watching on all having a good laugh.

Good stuff Lee. It's hard to hit a fleeing target... :)

And here it is:

AdEkcrZUmKY
I think Brett Lee expressed it best:


Brett Lee ‏@BrettLee_58 16m
@piersmorgan that's what happens when you talk it up.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bcd5hbsCMAAVaN2.jpg

Hehehehehe. Good one bloke.

That would be arse before wicket I believe... :becky:

Music to my :ear:'s)))))))))))))))))))))) :target:

Here it is in its entirety...ENJOY...:pound:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ePx61TkXKY

[panopticon]

Beat me too it Jacko by a few minutes :)

Can't tell me there aren't a lot of happy Aussies seein' him get it.

Reckon the Poms and Aussies were united for a moment there! :bounce:

[Hazel]

Exciting game chaps...

lotsa drama living it Big Time

the crowd are moving with every play

whata game!

[Hazel]

Battle of the Titans...

:bounce:

[panopticon]

Went round a mates place and watched Piers Morgan run like a pussy from Lee's quicks.

Talked a big game but Morgan ended up on his arse.

Lee wasn't really even trying.

1 over, no contact from Morgan between bat and ball.

Not to say there wasn't any contact made between Morgan and the ball... There was a bit of that.

So, from 6 balls, 1 wicket, no runs, 3 (possibly 4) impacts on Morgan's shaking shell.

Good crowd who really enjoyed watching the loud mouth get pinged.

Johnson, Harris and Siddle were watching on all having a good laugh.

Good stuff Lee. It's hard to hit a fleeing target... :)

And here it is:

AdEkcrZUmKY
I think Brett Lee expressed it best:


Brett Lee ‏@BrettLee_58 16m
@piersmorgan that's what happens when you talk it up.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bcd5hbsCMAAVaN2.jpg

Hehehehehe. Good one bloke.

That would be arse before wicket I believe... :becky:

Music to my :ear:'s)))))))))))))))))))))) :target:

Here it is in its entirety...ENJOY...:pound:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ePx61TkXKY

Well Morgan reckons he didn't see a single delivery.

From 6 deliveries he ended up with a cracked wrist and bruised rib.

Here's Lee admiring his handy work:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BceGf1mCYAIrHOM.jpg
Piers Morgan is not a cricket legend (unlike Boonie) :boom:

[Hazel]

Good stuff England
you deserved one!

;)

[Hazel]

As for Morgan maybe he can pick up form for Sydney

:confused:

All in all definite light relief from all that is worrisome in our world
well stated and staged Billy Boy:hat:...

[panopticon]

Good stuff England
you deserved one!

;)

Cricket Australia probably want a new record crowd on day 5. :P

[panopticon]

As for Morgan maybe he can pick up form for Sydney

:confused:

All in all definite light relief from all that is worrisome in our world
well stated and staged Billy Boy:hat:...

Yeah, Bill's been a tad quiet of late...

Mayhap thungs did not go as planned? :violin:

He's probably still lookin like this: :shocked:

[Hazel]

As for Morgan maybe he can pick up form for Sydney

:confused:

All in all definite light relief from all that is worrisome in our world
well stated and staged Billy Boy:hat:...

Yuppers that's the kinda thoughts l've bin' havin'
he's a buggered sleeper




Yeah, Bill's been a tad quiet of late...

Mayhap thungs did not go as planned? :violin:

He's probably still lookin like this: :shocked:

Awaken Sir Bill

when a knight won his spurs in the stories of old
he was gallant and bold

no matter the galling losses..

we believe in you Maestro

Rally do....

:fencing:

if not

we just might well assume that the South American jungle has engulfed your guile!

:spider:

Eurythmics: "travelled the world, the seven seas.. everyones looking for something...."

[panopticon]

Highlights from day 2:

IrxhBWHNqSo
4oX7ef9HKZw
Tn6hH3lR25A
OFSp4MlU4TY
34vaU4X6zKM
OUK3O42R1JY
Piers Morgan Arse Over Breakfast Time Bowled Lee for 0 :crutch:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bcd5hbsCMAAVaN2.jpg

[Hazel]

Annie Lennox
never did have all the answers

God Bless her Scottish socks..

see u at the game on the morrow' stayers....

[jackovesk]

Beat me too it Jacko by a few minutes :)

Can't tell me there aren't a lot of happy Aussies seein' him get it.

Reckon the Poms and Aussies were united for a moment there! :bounce:

In all honesty, its no surprise what Piers Morgan did...:nono:



His show is a (Ratings Disaster), any publicity is Good publicity...:yes4:
You (All) know I hope, that Piers Morgan is a mouthpiece for the NWO right...:yes4:
And you also know that Piers Morgan psyche fits the NWO type profile to a tee, (He's morbidly FKing INSANE)...:yes4:


...and what worse, I am being deadly (SERIOUS)..!

[jackovesk]

Judging by some of the latest commentary...

I think its (Safe) to say...


Bill, wishes he (Never) started this (Thread) in the 1st place...:yo:...:faint:

[Cidersomerset]

I fancy you Aussies are enjoying this far to much...LOL

Ashes 2013-14: Australians led by Prime Minister Tony Abbott gloat about series win over England

Tony Abbott, Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath among the prominent Australians to celebrate comprehensive Ashes win on Twitter


http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02767/twitter_2767904b.jpg




Glenn McGrath's Foundation revels in Australia's Ashes victory on Twitter Photo: @McGrathFdn

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/theashes/10522435/Ashes-2013-14-Australians-led-by-Prime-Minister-Tony-Abbott-gloat-about-series-win-over-England.html

[Cidersomerset]

'Ang on' Whats going on here..LOL

Too much Turkey, must of caught
the middle order collapse virus
from England...LOL

Australia 1st Innings164 for 9 (73.3 overs)




Rogers c Pietersen....... b Bresnan..................... 61.... 218 171.. 8 0
Warner c Bairstow....... b Anderson..................... 9 ..... 27 14.... 2 0
Watson c Bairstow....... b Stokes....................... 10.... 20 15..... 2 0
Clarke ...................... b Anderson.................... 10.... 57 34..... 0 0
Smith ........................c Bell b Broad................ 19.... 92 77..... 3 0
Bailey ........................c Bairstow b Anderson...... 0..... 37 19..... 0 0
Haddin ....................... not out ....................... 43....100 49..... 5 1
Johnson..................... c Anderson b Bresnan....... 2 .... 39 30...... 0 0
Harris ........................ c Root b Broad................ 6 ....24 27...... 1 0
Siddle........................ c Bresnan b Broad........... 0 ..... 6 5 ........0 0


Extras 0nb 0w 0b 4lb 4
Total for 9 164 (73.3 ovs)

[panopticon]

Tony fkn Abbott... Mutter, mutter. The Bloody Mad Monk that's what we call 'im 'ere!

Where's he this Christmas season while we're in a so-called "budget emergency"?

In France skiing with 'is family, that's where... Never mind the 1000's of workers that are preparing to be laid off due to Holden's closure or the workers at SPC who got their marching orders yesterday (yeah, good on the company for announcing that between Christmas and New Years)...

"Australia is open for business" he declares with 'is lil fat buddy and then changes across to being driven around in a gas & bomb proof BWM (instead of a plain ol' Holden). Next thing we know Holden ain't producing cars 'ere no more. Then there's his Foreign Minister Julie Bloody Bishop (noting a trend in surnames here?) who is following Get Your Dukes Up Downer's bloody advice and aggravating anyone and everyone she talks too...

Then there's Bronwyn Bishop whose the Speaker of the House. She wouldn't know what parliamentary standing orders were if they came up and jumped on 'er...

First new Government to not have a "honey moon" period. That's how bloody piss poor they are. Everything's bloody 'operational matters' so they conveniently can't release any information about anything at all that might make 'em look bad (mind you that doesn't seemed to 'ave left 'em smellin' like bloody roses now as it).

Tony's latest booklet (pompously titled "The First 100 Days Of Government (http://www.pm.gov.au/sites/default/files/reports/first_100_days_of_government.pdf)") is the same size as their "Real Solutions" rubbish put out before the election and makes about as much sense.

I could go on about bloody Brandis, Hockey, Pyne Gap, Hunt, in fact pretty well the whole bloody bunch aren't worth the bar of soap it will take me to wash myself clean after this so I'll post 2 examples and an excellent observation and then bugger off ta tha fart sack...

vPmpswEJ-sg
VWBsPw8MtbQ
This is a much better evaluation of the first 100 days I reckon:

dkQGHFUblNY
Go the Aussies! (Reckon the Institute of Sport will be getting a funding cut in the New Year too).

[panopticon]

I feel a bit better now that's out of my system. Bit of a colonic me thinks. :)

[Hazel]

Gottya back there pantsoff..re your rightful dismay with the Abottoire Gov't and the smelly offal its procuring...
Julie Bishop is like some cyber doll, I cringe and shudder at her cold representation internationally. Many will be crying in their Wheetbix for voting in the wronguns that's 4 sure :doh:


Meanwhile, the boys providing our distraction are out in 38C heat...think it will keel over the Pom's by stumps.

Haddins battin' a bewdy / nice tail wag

England has a lead of just 51 runs now (half hour into play) :thumb:

[Hazel]

England 4/87

Johnson the Mighty Gladiator = Cook and Root out

and the crowd smell blood...

:smokin:


Johnson back in to bowl Pieterson
Eng 4/102

:brick::brick:

now Harris...

back to Johnson
is Pietersons up 4 the slaughter.. can't feel it in me waters :yell:

Daaaarn :painkiller::juggle:

C'mon Harris

:Cry:

Johnsons return:
:nod:

the Barmy Army are having an adrenalin recovery from their collective heat stroke

Pietersen pulls away / Harris returns to bowl Stokes b4 tea

HELP... I'm ******* cricket :crazy:

Taaaw must be beer o'clock
(and I don't usually partake!)

[panopticon]

That's Tea.

Eng 4/115.

Leading Australia by 166.

[Hazel]

Good battle...only the 3rd day
I'm betting on a near draw for the 4th test

:cheers:

Stralia will get their mojo back

:fans:

[Hazel]

Knew Johnson with that mo' reminded me of someone else with exceptional charisma:


html://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31800

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31800


http://images-2.drive.com.au/2013/11/284959779



grrrr
(canya fix that 4 me pani... must be the beer :eyebrows::P)

[panopticon]

While my associate attempts to find an image of the mystery guest...

Lyon has 5/50 and passed 100 test wickets in his career so far.

England all out for 179 leading Australia by 230.

4 ducks for the Poms today.

[panopticon]

New Johnson with that mo' reminded me of someone else with exceptional charisma:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=24284&d=1388214754

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=24285&d=1388214992


Not a bad likeness there Crappa.

So ya reckon Johnson might 'ave a set of lungs on 'im then?

[Hazel]

At end of day
231 runs for Australia to retrieve supremacy

Notta prob'

;)

[panopticon]

Australia 0/30 @ end of day.

England leads by 200 (ie Australia requires 201 to win in 2 days :P ).

Didn't Lyon have a good day today. Batting like a dervish and then bowling a pearler. Bonza day.

[Hazel]

New Johnson with that mo' reminded me of someone else (now immortalized) with exceptional charisma:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=24284&d=1388214754 Freddie Mercury

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=24285&d=1388214992 Mitchell Johnson


Not a bad likeness there Crappa.

So ya reckon Johnson might 'ave a set of lungs on 'im then?

and the rest
:becky::whistle:

[Cidersomerset]

Oh dear we still have 'middle order collapse syndrome'...LOL
and has anyone seen our tail, its seems to have stopped wagging !!


http://theakumalian.com/photogallery/photo00021379/pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey-41[1].gif


England 2nd Innings179 all out (61.0 overs)




Cook................ lbw b Johnson................... 51 88 ..... 64 7 0
Carberry.......... lbw b Siddle...................... 12 120.... 81 1 0
Root................ run out (Johnson).............. 15 38..... 24 1 0
Pietersen......... c Harris b Lyon................... 49 154... 90 6 0
Bell................. c Johnson b Lyon ................. 0 2........ 1 0 0
Stokes............ c Smith b Lyon................... 19 66..... 55 1 0
Bairstow......... c Haddin b Johnson............. 21 45..... 28 2 2
Bresnan......... b Lyon................................. 0 15..... 8 0 0
Broad............ c Clarke b Lyon..................... 0 3...... 0 0 0
Anderson.......lbw b Johnson......................... 0 6 ....... 6 0 0
Panesar........ b Lyon.................................. 2 21.... 16 0 0


Extras 0nb 0w 5b 6lb 11
Total all out 179 (61.0 ovs)

[Cidersomerset]

Not one of Geoffreys better ideas as KP is highest England scorer !!



Boycott: Flower must drop KP


http://db3.stb.s-msn.com/i/18/883A1EE3AC80501297A1C25E5C14.jpg



Kevin Pietersen should be dropped from the England team, according to Geoff Boycott




Geoff Boycott has called for Kevin Pietersen to be dropped from the England team.

Pietersen has been among England's most conspicuous failures on their tour of
Australia, repeatedly getting himself out because of poor shot selection.Former
England opener Boycott places the blame in part on the England management,
including coach Andy Flower, for not curbing his more flamboyant on-field excesses
sooner.But now believes the negative effect on the England's less experienced
players means they can no longer afford to have him in the team.

He told the Daily Telegraph: "How do you tell inexperienced players such as
Carberry and Root that you have to sell your wicket dearly and work through
difficult periods in a match, but then Pietersen plays like he does? He has given his
wicket away four times out of six. Each time they set a trap for him and he falls for
it. He is a mug and the Aussies are laughing at him. They think he is a sucker.

"Senior players should always give a lead to the juniors, but with Pietersen it is all
about self. He is going to do whatever he wants, play the way he feels irrespective
of the state of the match or what is best for England.

"I do not agree that you have to let him play the way he wants. When the best
player in the team makes stupid mistakes just think what that does to the morale
of the rest of the players. KP is in his own world."

He continued: "It is also a failure of management as much as KP's fault. Andy
Flower has allowed him to play any way he wants because he can win matches.

"Every mother knows that no matter how much she loves her child she has to set
boundaries. The child has to know if you cross the boundary some privileges will be
taken away until you grasp right and wrong.

"Andy should have told him long ago it is not on. But obviously he has let him do
what he wants, so he keeps making the same silly mistakes. I actually think KP is
too long in the tooth to change now...If I was Andy Flower I would be saying either
he goes or I go."

[Hazel]

At lunch today at the MCG:

Gaaawd our Chanel 9 commentary(including Ian Chapell) are making scathing pickings at Cook for not having his eye on the ball at the wicket this morning..
saying his minds probably too distracted on tactics... :ohwell:

anyway looking like we will make the 88 to gain advantage needed before too long

Aus 1/143.... target 231

Whats more, can England get the needed 9 wickets?

:rockon:

[panopticon]

Well, its been a good morning for Australia.

Australia 1/143 requiring 88 to win.

Poms have been shocking in the field.

Rogers on 82. Watson on 39.

¤=[Post Update]=¤


can England get the needed 9 wickets?


Um, me thinks not. :)

http://www.saatchigallery.com/imgs/artists/ferris_dee/dee_ferris_white_wash1.jpg

[Hazel]

Naaaa I don't reckon either pantsoff!

Eeer that pic' u posted wouldn't happen to be Scott being lost in the Antarctic would it?!

Will do as a nice anal-ogy for the state of Cooks befuddled fog brain...re how to play the Aussies :faint2:

[panopticon]

Naaaa I don't reckon either pantsoff!

Eeer that pic' u posted wouldn't happen to be Scott being lost in the Antarctic would it?!

or is that the state of Cooks befuddled fog brain...re how to play the Aussies :faint2:

Reckon itsa bita bowf there Crapper, bit a bowf. ;)

¤=[Post Update]=¤

I don't underdstand why the Poms aren't playing Monty more...

Most peculiar...

[Hazel]

Well poor old Monty got hit by the ball in the python t'other day
could be blossoming bruising's abaiting his ardour eh!

:pout:


Jeeeze now the commentators are saying that England was hampered by some horrific Captaincy by Cookie.... what a blow for the poor lad :director::pop2:

[panopticon]

What a good innings from Rogers. 102 off 135 balls.

Good solid Century with only 11 4's!

Bloke runs like a bloody rabbit.

Watson got his half tonne off 70 (6 4's).

Australia requires 55 to win.

[Hazel]

Yeeeah 4 nil

At least big eyed Monty can still field well... init!

But can he bowl?

Oh yes he got Rogers out.. what a great inning for him though!
Exciting stuff :party:

16 runs to win

[panopticon]

And Monty strikes!

Rogers Caught Bairstow Bowled Panesar for 116.

Why they didn't bring Monty on earlier I don't know.

Australia 2/200 requiring 31 to win.

[panopticon]

Clarke just passed 8000 test runs with a beautifully timed 4.

Australia require 12 to win.

[Hazel]

Watson THE WHACKER

AND 4 runs to WIN


HIT A 6 GO ON... it'd be a RIPPER CLOSER

[panopticon]

Stand up, if you're 4 nil up!
Stand up, if you're 4 nil up!

yTMef0yhmyA

[Hazel]

WoooooHoooooo 4/0

BLOODY OUTRAGEOUS AUSTRALIAN TEAM!!!!!

:roll::roll::roll:

HEROES INDEEDY

stone the crows, it brings a happy :sing: tear to mine eye

A 5/0 clean sweep would be Gods of Valhalla material

CAN WE DO IT?
YES WE BLOODY WELL CAN!!!!

[Hazel]

OWZAT...


http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=owzat+utube&docid=4723224006627218&mid=D1E2FCC767EC5BE2C6E3D1E2FCC767EC5BE2C6E3&view=detail&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=D1E2FCC767EC5BE2C6E3D1E2FCC767EC5BE2C6E3

[panopticon]

English commentator:


England's margins of defeat so far.
381 runs in Brisbane.
218 runs Adelaide.
150 runs in Perth and
8 wickets in Melbourne.

Is that getting better?

Aggers & Boycott:

http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/fivelive/tms/tms_20131229-0348b.mp3
Download (http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/fivelive/tms/tms_20131229-0348b.mp3)

[panopticon]

OWZAT...


Not so much this:

8EmSanSFXEM
More like this (for England anyways):

siqrnVnTSUY

[Hazel]

Well panti'

I kinda thought the line " you messed around and I caught you out.. Owzat" was quite a fitting sentiment from our blokes to the Pom's

But then you win, cos' 'Yesterdays Hero' does sound like an anthem that could be sung by the Aussie crowd at the SCG when the humiliation of England recommences for the 5/0 landslide on 3/1/14.

:sing::sing::sing::sing::sing::sing::sing::sing:


And u'd reckon Aggers has started the wail of the whingers off big time
with "they shoulda nipped it in the bud"... :yell:

Hoping that doesn't mean a public castration on the chopping block at the Tower of London for the English team!

[panopticon]

A telling comment from Aggers;


What would not be right for English cricket would be to prepare nice green pitches in order to ambush India and Sri Lanka with a Dukes ball in the summer and assume everything is all right again.

If we are just going to prepare damp pitches for the ball to shoot about and for overseas batsmen who aren't used to it to nick off, then we are not going to improve as a team.

England need to build an attack capable of beating Australia in conditions which are fair to both sides.

The pitches in Australia have been perfectly good, but they have been unfamiliar to the England players, who are used to playing on pitches that suit their own strengths.
Source (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/25540520)

[Cidersomerset]

http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/dam/assets/130709104445-ashes-cricket-horizontal-gallery.jpg

What a difference a Series makes......The joys and wows of a captain...


http://www.bdlive.co.za/incoming/2013/07/22/michael-clarke-jul-21-2013/ALTERNATES/crop_400x250/Michael+Clarke+Jul+21+2013



http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/7/9/1373378186962/Alastair-Cook-008.jpg


====================================================
====================================================
====================================================
====================================================



http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/12/11/article-0-1A0565AB00000578-606_306x423.jpg



http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2013/12/6/1386321479539/Australia-captain-Michael-008.jpg

[varuna]

...I am beginning to dread coming onto this thread ! Don't really know what to say anymore...completely baffled :confused: by our performance....and the decision making in terms of field placements, only bowling Monty for a few overs etc;...feel sorry for the English fans who have paid thousands of £££ to travel out there...

caught the highlights, Botham was commentating....'England have allowed Australia to bully them'...interesting comment I thought.

All good wishes for 2014 :dance3:

[Bill Ryan]

-------

It's all more than horrible.

Summed up in this BBC article here:

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/25535969

... which delighted me for a few moments by citing the Hungarian expression a béka segge alatt, used to describe any situation when things can't seem to get any worse.

It means: Under a frog's ass, at the bottom of a coal pit.

:)

[bogeyman]

If we used the traditional English methods of yobbification as I call it, we would of won the cricket, hitting the whinging Aussie's with a bat.

[Hazel]

If we used the traditional English methods of yobbification as I call it, we would of won the cricket, hitting the whinging Aussie's with a bat.


Oooh thems fighting words there bogeyman....

p'raps a Pommie yob versus an Aussie bogan contest would serve the grunt for revenge

mmm wouldn't be a pretty site that's for cert'

:scared:

But that's just not cricket eh, and we ain't bullies!

:brick:

[Hazel]

-------



It means: Under a frog's ass, at the bottom of a coal pit.

:)

nothing like a bare arse image like that to bring forth a grin, in the midst of shock, horror, fear and loathing Bill
well placed in the proceedings, with much balm had by those in your native land u'd reckon..

:hungry:

give us more... ;) and keep up the pluck dear chap(s)!

[panopticon]

At the beginning of this thread we Aussies were talking a big game.

We were under no illusion that it was going to be a hard fought series.

We also knew that it's a totally different prospect playing in Australia than England.

The weather is warmer, the pitches are straight and fast (which suits fast bowling and good batting) and then there's the crowds. Yep, it's totally different to playing in England and while this didn't give the Aussies an advantage it certainly removed the Poms one.

We were looking forward to a hard fought contest between fairly equal sides on good fast straight pitches.

My condolences to the English supporters here. It did not happen that way. Instead Botham's predictive powers have been proven inadequate and now there is a real possibility that it could be a 5-0 series, just opposite to the way Botham saw it.

We've had fun here with this but I was really hoping for a decent series. Unfortunately that hasn't happened.

I darn't say anything bad about the Pommie side because it just isn't right to kick blokes when they're down (plus the Pommie media seems to be doing enough of that themselves).

Once again my condolences and I hope the Aussies can be forgiven for celebrating a well played series that has allowed some of our finest sons to shine.

f2MUA3i54tQ

[panopticon]

If we used the traditional English methods of yobbification as I call it, we would of won the cricket, hitting the whinging Aussie's with a bat.

DqyxtLz-D_U

[Hazel]

Nice international diplomacy efforts there panti'...

even though you did only reconstitute all that empathy I showered the Pom's with in my previous posts.. wink


your "condolences" mighta changed the complexion of the sentiments a shade though eh?!

or am I just a dark hearted troppo' Sheila from up North, with an out of control laughing gear largess for cricket diplomacy interuptus...

yup nuff' said :caked:

[panopticon]

Nice international diplomacy efforts there panti'...

Yeah, I thought it was better than anything the Oz government has done in a while...



even though you did only reconstitute all that empathy I showered the Pom's with in my previous posts.. wink


your "condolences" mighta changed the complexion of the sentiments a shade though eh?!

or am I just a dark hearted troppo' Sheila from up North with a largess for cricket diplomacy interuptus...

Yeah, I reckon it mighta bin tha heat gettin' ta ya there Crappa.

Inside we're all singin' 'Come on Aussie Come on' and laughin' 'bout tha pommie whingers cryin' in their warm bloody beer while their media dissects their side and start tha inevitable blame game.

We rise above such things though... Don't we? Better the unsaid me thinks.

For me this has been a truly disappointing series because I had so much ammo laid up that will neva get used now... :Cry:

[Hazel]

Yeah dunno what kinda beasty alter may have emerged from me if the shoe was on the other hammer toe..

Prob'ly woulda dragged in the road kill and ground some blood n' bone on the old keyboard :smash: in a roolly colourful fashion!

:wacko:

C'mon Pommie losers:sick: loosen up a little, its good 4 wot ails ya to smeer some greasy greif n' bile on us.... we can hack it! :croc::bad:

After all, we don't have a reputation for being terse of speech, yet beguilingly egalitarian (underneath our echidna spike exteriors)..for naught ya know... :luv:

[panopticon]

Yeah dunno what kinda beasty alter may have emerged from me if the shoe was on the other hammer toe..
Prob'ly woulda dragged in the road kill and ground some blood n' bone on the old keyboard :smash: in a roolly colourful fashion!
:wacko:
C'mon Pommie losers:sick: loosen up a little, its good 4 wot ails ya to smeer some greasy greif n' bile on us.... we can hack it! :croc::bad:

I know. I was all set with the pommie recipe book at hand (piri piri thingamabobs really?) and then Trott went off so I was left with a large number of one liners buggered. Then Swann ran for the heels, leaving all sorts of goodies unsaid. Cranberry got smeared, Captain 'Spear head' Cook... (Well there's just too much ammo there for me now so I can't use it). The list goes on (Stuart 'we know what you did last summer' Broad, Matt 'I didn't quite catch that' Prior has been replaced with Jonny 'It's yours Captain' Bairstow...).

It's just been so disheartening to have been lookin' forward to a good banter session and ending up at a wake...

:target:

[Hazel]

Aaaaaw my hearts bleedin' 4 ya's panticon-artiste'

:bs:

we is the supplanters
and that's thaaaa
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/laconic
we r as the Spartans of yore

see:la·con·ic (l-knk)
adj.
Using or marked by the use of few words; terse or concise. See Synonyms at silent.

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[Latin Lacnicus, Spartan, from Greek Laknikos, from Lakn, a Spartan (from the reputation of the Spartans for brevity of speech).]

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la·coni·cal·ly adv.

Word History: The study of the classics allows one to understand the history of the term laconic, which comes to us via Latin from Greek Laknikos. The English word is first recorded in 1583 with the sense "of or relating to Laconia or its inhabitants." Laknikos is derived from Lakn, "a Laconian, a person from Lacedaemon," the name for the region of Greece of which Sparta was the capital. The Spartans, noted for being warlike and disciplined, were also known for the brevity of their speech, and it is this quality that English writers still denote by the use of the adjective laconic, which is first found in this sense in 1589.


The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.



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laconic [ləˈkɒnɪk], laconical
adj
(of a person's speech) using few words; terse
[via Latin from Greek Lakōnikos, from Lakōn Laconian, Spartan; referring to the Spartans' terseness of speech]

laconically adv

**all critics will havta' like it or lump it... as they also say in the classics! :becky:

[panopticon]

I know. It seems brevity is lost on many.

Long flowery speeches are not really part of the Aussie culture.

Spend a bit of time with some real bushies and it comes out real clear.

Real down to earth bright folk who say what's needed when needed.

Even our politicians don't tend to have long drawn out speeches. They'd be told in short order that "they like the sound of their own voice." Iconic Australian literature is also usually short statements, interspersed with words to fill in the blank bits.

Here are 2 of Banjo Paterson's classics (the second is thought to be about 10 stanza's to long but is excused because it is Banjo) and Clancy of the Overflow's (Thomas Gerald Clancy) 1897 reply:

###

Clancy Of The Overflow

I had written him a letter which I had, for want of better
Knowledge, sent to where I met him down the Lachlan, years ago,
He was shearing when I knew him, so I sent the letter to him,
Just `on spec', addressed as follows, `Clancy, of The Overflow'.

And an answer came directed in a writing unexpected,
(And I think the same was written with a thumb-nail dipped in tar)
'Twas his shearing mate who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it:
`Clancy's gone to Queensland droving, and we don't know where he are.'

In my wild erratic fancy visions come to me of Clancy
Gone a-droving `down the Cooper' where the Western drovers go;
As the stock are slowly stringing, Clancy rides behind them singing,
For the drover's life has pleasures that the townsfolk never know.

And the bush hath friends to meet him, and their kindly voices greet him
In the murmur of the breezes and the river on its bars,
And he sees the vision splendid of the sunlit plains extended,
And at night the wond'rous glory of the everlasting stars.

I am sitting in my dingy little office, where a stingy
Ray of sunlight struggles feebly down between the houses tall,
And the foetid air and gritty of the dusty, dirty city
Through the open window floating, spreads its foulness over all

And in place of lowing cattle, I can hear the fiendish rattle
Of the tramways and the 'buses making hurry down the street,
And the language uninviting of the gutter children fighting,
Comes fitfully and faintly through the ceaseless tramp of feet.

And the hurrying people daunt me, and their pallid faces haunt me
As they shoulder one another in their rush and nervous haste,
With their eager eyes and greedy, and their stunted forms and weedy,
For townsfolk have no time to grow, they have no time to waste.

And I somehow rather fancy that I'd like to change with Clancy,
Like to take a turn at droving where the seasons come and go,
While he faced the round eternal of the cash-book and the journal --
But I doubt he'd suit the office, Clancy, of `The Overflow'.

###

The Man From Snowy River

There was movement at the station, for the word had passed around
That the colt from old Regret had got away,
And had joined the wild bush horses - he was worth a thousand pound,
So all the cracks had gathered to the fray.
All the tried and noted riders from the stations near and far
Had mustered at the homestead overnight,
For the bushmen love hard riding where the wild bush horses are,
And the stockhorse snuffs the battle with delight.

There was Harrison, who made his pile when Pardon won the cup,
The old man with his hair as white as snow;
But few could ride beside him when his blood was fairly up -
He would go wherever horse and man could go.
And Clancy of the Overflow came down to lend a hand,
No better horseman ever held the reins;
For never horse could throw him while the saddle girths would stand,
He learnt to ride while droving on the plains.

And one was there, a stripling on a small and weedy beast,
He was something like a racehorse undersized,
With a touch of Timor pony - three parts thoroughbred at least -
And such as are by mountain horsemen prized.
He was hard and tough and wiry - just the sort that won't say die -
There was courage in his quick impatient tread;
And he bore the badge of gameness in his bright and fiery eye,
And the proud and lofty carriage of his head.

But still so slight and weedy, one would doubt his power to stay,
And the old man said, "That horse will never do
For a long a tiring gallop - lad, you'd better stop away,
Those hills are far too rough for such as you."
So he waited sad and wistful - only Clancy stood his friend -
"I think we ought to let him come," he said;
"I warrant he'll be with us when he's wanted at the end,
For both his horse and he are mountain bred.

"He hails from Snowy River, up by Kosciusko's side,
Where the hills are twice as steep and twice as rough,
Where a horse's hoofs strike firelight from the flint stones every stride,
The man that holds his own is good enough.
And the Snowy River riders on the mountains make their home,
Where the river runs those giant hills between;
I have seen full many horsemen since I first commenced to roam,
But nowhere yet such horsemen have I seen."

So he went - they found the horses by the big mimosa clump -
They raced away towards the mountain's brow,
And the old man gave his orders, "Boys, go at them from the jump,
No use to try for fancy riding now.
And, Clancy, you must wheel them, try and wheel them to the right.
Ride boldly, lad, and never fear the spills,
For never yet was rider that could keep the mob in sight,
If once they gain the shelter of those hills."

So Clancy rode to wheel them - he was racing on the wing
Where the best and boldest riders take their place,
And he raced his stockhorse past them, and he made the ranges ring
With the stockwhip, as he met them face to face.
Then they halted for a moment, while he swung the dreaded lash,
But they saw their well-loved mountain full in view,
And they charged beneath the stockwhip with a sharp and sudden dash,
And off into the mountain scrub they flew.

Then fast the horsemen followed, where the gorges deep and black
Resounded to the thunder of their tread,
And the stockwhips woke the echoes, and they fiercely answered back
From cliffs and crags that beetled overhead.
And upward, ever upward, the wild horses held their way,
Where mountain ash and kurrajong grew wide;
And the old man muttered fiercely, "We may bid the mob good day,
No man can hold them down the other side."

When they reached the mountain's summit, even Clancy took a pull,
It well might make the boldest hold their breath,
The wild hop scrub grew thickly, and the hidden ground was full
Of wombat holes, and any slip was death.
But the man from Snowy River let the pony have his head,
And he swung his stockwhip round and gave a cheer,
And he raced him down the mountain like a torrent down its bed,
While the others stood and watched in very fear.

He sent the flint stones flying, but the pony kept his feet,
He cleared the fallen timber in his stride,
And the man from Snowy River never shifted in his seat -
It was grand to see that mountain horseman ride.
Through the stringybarks and saplings, on the rough and broken ground,
Down the hillside at a racing pace he went;
And he never drew the bridle till he landed safe and sound,
At the bottom of that terrible descent.

He was right among the horses as they climbed the further hill,
And the watchers on the mountain standing mute,
Saw him ply the stockwhip fiercely, he was right among them still,
As he raced across the clearing in pursuit.
Then they lost him for a moment, where two mountain gullies met
In the ranges, but a final glimpse reveals
On a dim and distant hillside the wild horses racing yet,
With the man from Snowy River at their heels.

And he ran them single-handed till their sides were white with foam.
He followed like a bloodhound on their track,
Till they halted cowed and beaten, then he turned their heads for home,
And alone and unassisted brought them back.
But his hardy mountain pony he could scarcely raise a trot,
He was blood from hip to shoulder from the spur;
But his pluck was still undaunted, and his courage fiery hot,
For never yet was mountain horse a cur.

And down by Kosciusko, where the pine-clad ridges raise
Their torn and rugged battlements on high,
Where the air is clear as crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze
At midnight in the cold and frosty sky,
And where around The Overflow the reed beds sweep and sway
To the breezes, and the rolling plains are wide,
The man from Snowy River is a household word today,
And the stockmen tell the story of his ride.

The Bulletin, 26 April 1890.

###

Clancy's Reply

Neath the star-spangled dome
Of my Austral home,
When watching by the camp fire's ruddy glow,
Oft in the flickering blaze
Is presented to my gaze
The sun-drenched kindly faces
Of the men of Overflow.

Now, though years have passed forever
Since I used, with best endeavour
Clip the fleeces of the jumbucks
Down the Lachlan years ago,
Still in memory linger traces
Of many cheerful faces,
And the well-remembered visage
Of the Bulletin's "Banjo".

Tired of life upon the stations,
With their wretched, scanty rations,
I took a sudden notion
That a droving I would go;
Then a roving fancy took me,
Which has never since forsook me,
And decided me to travel,
And leave the Overflow.

So with maiden ewes from Tubbo,
I passed en route to Dubbo,
And across the Lig'num country
'where the Barwon waters flow;
Thence onward o'er the Narran,
By scrubby belts of Yarran,
To where the landscape changes
And the cotton bushes grow.

And my path I've often wended
Over drought-scourged plains extended,
where phantom lakes and forests
Forever come and go;
And the stock in hundreds dying,
Along the road are lying,
To count among the 'pleasures"
That townsfolk never know.

Over arid plains extended
My route has often tended,
Droving cattle to the Darling,
Or along the Warrego;
Oft with nightly rest impeded,
when the cattle had stampeded,
Save I sworn that droving pleasures
For the future I'd forego.

So of drinking liquid mire
I eventually did tire,
And gave droving up forever
As a life that was too slow.
Now, gold digging, in a measure,
Affords much greater pleasure
To your obedient servant,
"Clancy of the Overflow".

###

Ah, it brings a tear to an ol' bushies eye...

[Hazel]

Lovely portrayal of the Australian idiom of speech pani'...

Nice timing as I happened upon a bit o' sledging about this thread in a post on a different thread on the forum.

Seems we can remain misunderstood and vilified, no matter how well we spell out what laconic humour is all about..such a pity :mullet:

The message is that spraying slang and colloquialisms for the sake of it.. is fun... nothing you could end up in hospital or prison for!
There could be such a hoot fest' here if there was just a few more joiners.
We humans can be so cautiously fettered by facades of ego.. that may be forever tarnished... if we were to step onto the crazy-paving, crikey!

By the same token.. I could need a reality check
cricket is not everyones tea n' crumpet... makes for :bored: for many.

"And the stock horse snuffs the battle with delight"
Banjo Patterson