The Cricket Thread (for Whinging Poms and Aussie *******s only)

[Bill Ryan]

-------

Dear All:

As light relief from a sometimes very worrisome world, I thought it was time to post something about cricket.

Wait a minute -- did I say light relief? This is serious! :)

This thread is dedicated to my mate Jackovesk (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?580-jackovesk). I'm only calling him my mate because I feel sorry for him. Jacko's not a bad bloke even though he's an Aussie, which he can't help, but it only seemed kind to warn him of the coming humiliation down under at the hands of the England cricket team.

The first test (which is English* for international cricket match) starts on 21 November. England will win, of course, and in the five match series it will be the start of a rout.

For those who know of such things, English opening batsmen Cook and Carberry already helped themselves to more runs than they knew what to do with (in a warm-up match last week), and had to retire themselves out because the Aussies couldn't do the job themselves.

http://projectavalon.net/Cook_and_Carberry_retired_out.gif

This gives us all plenty of notice what to expect later this month. Except next time, they'll stay in to score a couple of hundred each. :)


* It should be noted that the Australians speak English (at least, a crude variant of it) and don't even have their own language. In fact, they don't really have their own anything at all to be proud of, except for legendary cricketing maestro Don Bradman -- and he, alas for the current Australian team, is long gone.

[sian]

OUCH! Mr Ryan, you are serious. :popcorn::yo:

[Bill Ryan]

OUCH! Mr Ryan, you are serious. :popcorn::yo:

Deadly serious!!

It was a preemptive first strike. In a good bar room brawl which everyone will surely enjoy, someone has to throw the first punch. :)

[Bill Ryan]

(...or the first insult!)

[Anchor]

G'Day mate.

I say! What? Top hole? Jolly japes?

Cricket!! OMG.

Am I having an attack of cultural schizophrenia?

I don't know if I need a nice cup of tea to settle the nerves, or throw a shrimp on the barbie and get a slab going.

[panopticon]

I see the old enemy has fallen for our cunning plan.

Once again hubris shall be their downfall.

As Sun Tzu said:


All warfare is based on deception. 1:18
Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant. 1:22

Yes, Cranberry and Crook seem to be doing quite well.

That was the tactic. Australia don't want them being scared in their little warm up match. Specially after Crook got so upset by Warnie.

Again I refer to Sun Tzu:


Hold out baits to entice the enemy. 1:20
If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. 1:22
So it appears that the poms have fallen into our cunningly laid trap.
Mwah-ha-ha-ha

http://rickischultz.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/dr-evil2.jpg

Oh, and if no-one noticed the new anti-association laws in Queensland are actually aimed at the barmy army. Watch what happens to the smarmy army when they confront the anti-corruption heavy weights at the Gabba.

http://www.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/1005/mwah-ha-ha-ha-goliath-the-boxer-demotivational-poster-1273781263.png

Then there's the dream that Trotter will not be trotting more often than not after Johnson is finished with him. Trotter reckons he's going to get the best of 'im...

dik_wnOE4dk
I don't even follow bloody cricket but when it comes to the old enemy there is no division in Oz. Just as a question... Which country holds the record for the most beers drank while flying from Oz to England?

I'll give you all a hint:

http://72allout.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/crickets-david-boon-in-our-defence-its-hard-to-find-5864330.jpg

Now that's an Australian sporting legend.
-- Pan

[bram]

I don't even follow bloody cricket but when it comes to the old enemy there is no division in Oz. Just as a question... Which country holds the record for the most beers drank while flying from Oz to England?


As you know jolly well that was only because we lent you Ian Botham for the trip......

[panopticon]

G'Day mate.

I say! What? Top hole? Jolly japes?

Cricket!! OMG.

Am I having an attack of cultural schizophrenia?

I don't know if I need a nice cup of tea to settle the nerves, or throw a shrimp on the barbie and get a slab going.

For a starter it's a bloody prawn on the barbie.

It's the Sepo's what call em shrimp. Let's face it their old President thought he was in Austria more often than not and I ain't seen no bloody lederhosen round here cept at October fest...

Shrimps are our vertically challenged friends and I reckon they'd have a choice phrase or two to say about being chucked on a barbie.

As for the rest me ol' salt I reckon go for the slab and share the good will around...

That's how you win friends and influence people not bloody limey dish washing liquid.

[Bill Ryan]

I say! What? Top hole? Jolly japes?



Well, there's no need to get nasty about it!



http://72allout.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/crickets-david-boon-in-our-defence-its-hard-to-find-5864330.jpg

Now that's an Australian sporting legend.
-- Pan

That's former Aussie batsman David Boon. He used to be a batting legend in his younger days. Now he's best known for drinking 52 cans of beer on a flight from Sydney to London. (True!)




I don't even follow bloody cricket

You should have your citizenship revoked!

[panopticon]

I don't even follow bloody cricket but when it comes to the old enemy there is no division in Oz. Just as a question... Which country holds the record for the most beers drank while flying from Oz to England?


As you know jolly well that was only because we lent you Ian Botham for the trip......

See how we overcame your carefully laid plan?

That was on the flight for an ashes tour.

Guess we need ta remember who came second in that tour eh?

Ol' Blighty that's who!

http://c.gcaptain.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/bounty_sinking_2012.png

Talkin' bout Aussie sporting icons...

Here's a picture of the most successful athlete in the history of sport (21 straight world championships):

http://www.rebrandtasmania.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dave-copy2.jpg

#1 State champion David Foster (OAM) is an absolute legend down here in his home State of Tasmania.
-- Pan

[Bill Ryan]

http://c.gcaptain.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/bounty_sinking_2012.png


We don't talk about that.



Here's a picture of the most successful athlete in the history of sport (21 straight world championships):

http://www.rebrandtasmania.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dave-copy2.jpg



OK, I give up. I've stared at that photo for ten whole minutes. What's he doing? And why is he so upset?

[panopticon]

That's former Aussie batsman David Boon. He used to be a batting legend in his younger days. Now he's best known for drinking 52 cans of beer on a flight from Sydney to London. (True!)


And now is an ICC Referee (http://www.icc-cricket.com/about/90/match-officials/umpire-appointments)...



You should have your citizenship revoked!

Fine with me, I don't want the bloody thing anyway.

Personally I prefer either aerial ping pong or watchin the Wallabies (don't start me on that sorry state of affairs).

Cricket's always a bit like paint drying (though used to be a good excuse for a beer or 6 and a barbie) something I like to look at once it's over (couldn't resist the pun hehehe).
-- Pan

[panopticon]

http://c.gcaptain.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/bounty_sinking_2012.png


We don't talk about that.



Here's a picture of the most successful athlete in the history of sport (21 straight world championships):

http://www.rebrandtasmania.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dave-copy2.jpg



OK, I give up. I've stared at that photo for ten whole minutes. What's he doing? And why is he so upset?

That, me ol' salt, is David Foster (OAM) and 21 straight winner of the World 600 mm Double-handed Sawing Championship.

In the picture above he is competing in one of over 1000 championships that he's won over the years as a wood chopper. He is using an axe to chop a log, something that happens a lot in Tassie.

He is the only person in sporting history to have won over 1000 sporting events...

The second vid below shows how far ahead he is of his competition...

1adEKUbttWw
-9A2fIpTd54
Him and Boonie are both Tasmanian sporting icons and built like brick sh!t houses.
-- Pan

[sian]

show those Sheila's a run for their mouths

23675

[Hazel]

Jeeeeze.. well its on then eh!

for starters never seen a pom win an iron man contest in our midst
too damn weak stomached to down the 15 cans of Fosters beer after a belly full of baked beans and raw snags (thats sausages mate for u lilly livered / white flouro arsed poms).

As for the cricket Billy Boy your premature arrogance will most likely see you slide under your hat, shame faced and defeated!
Get with the program and settle petal..
So much for your gentile facade.. can't wait to see you pommies once again disgraced by we the superior breed in the Antipodes.

Here's a humble representation of my deeper feelings on the subject.. look out you wally :first::whoo:

* As for you sian.. I'm a Sheila you don't cross! Would like to see you presented with the self same cricket ball stuffed in your gob at the gloat BBQ when we bring home the Ashes. :girl_wink:

[varuna]

...oh how wonderful, a thread about cricket on Avalon!! :cool: here is a link to a snippet of commentary with Aggers & Johnson which always makes me smile. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=3k0qZDdfvZk

here's the page link just in case http://cricketcrowd.com/displayvideo.php?ccvideo=2443

[Cidersomerset]

Thanks Veruna classis Test match special...



..oh how wonderful, a thread about cricket on Avalon!! here is a link to a snippet of commentary with Aggers & Johnson which always makes me smile. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature..

2aIagPztV-s


here's the page link just in case http://cricketcrowd.com/displayvideo.php?ccvideo=2443





Johnners' revenge on Aggers at Edgbaston 1993

PlQu9gSyWKA

Published on 27 Jun 2013


Smarting from a first-rate set up the previous test, Brian Johnston exacts revenge
on Aggers by setting up a spoof 'live' TV discussion with Fred Trueman and Jack
Bannister - both having been instructed to be thoroughly uncooperative with the
interviewer....

[Cidersomerset]

Hi Bill after 40 years of following the 'winging Poms' I have
learn't never to get carried away even when we are winning.....

As a son of Somerset who can forget 'BEEFY' !!

5qJEgzhTt64

Uploaded on 12 Feb 2012


This is a compilation of Tom Hardy's narration part only.
"From The Ashes" is an uplifting and remarkable tale of
a summer that changed English sport forever. In July
1981, rioting and discontent ruled the streets of England.
On the playing fields, England was 1-0 down after two
tests against old enemy, Australia, and iconic all-rounder
Ian Botham, had resigned as English captain, hours
before being pushed....(IMDB)

[bram]

http://c.gcaptain.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/bounty_sinking_2012.png


We don't talk about that.



Here's a picture of the most successful athlete in the history of sport (21 straight world championships):

http://www.rebrandtasmania.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dave-copy2.jpg



OK, I give up. I've stared at that photo for ten whole minutes. What's he doing? And why is he so upset?

That, me ol' salt, is David Foster (OAM) and 21 straight winner of the World 600 mm Double-handed Sawing Championship.

In the picture above he is competing in one of over 1000 championships that he's won over the years as a wood chopper. He is using an axe to chop a log, something that happens a lot in Tassie.

He is the only person in sporting history to have won over 1000 sporting events...

The second vid below shows how far ahead he is of his competition...

1adEKUbttWw
-9A2fIpTd54
Him and Boonie are both Tasmanian sporting icons and built like brick sh!t houses.
-- Pan

Maybe they could make that an olympic sport eh?

[panopticon]

Maybe they could make that an olympic sport eh?

Would certainly sort the wheat from the chaff wouldn't it!
Some of these "elite" athletes need a smack behind the ear hole with a lump of 4b4...
Imagine testing either of the 2 David's for performance enhancing drugs...

What would they end up with?

I'd wager:

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7012/6758678501_445929dc0d_z.jpg

After all here's the pipeline used to pump the beer across the island:

http://www.campaignbrief.com/2008/09/03/Boags%20Draught%20FlyPosters1%20copy-thumb-300x451.jpg

Why live anywhere else?

http://www.brandtasmania.com/photos/issue78-boags.jpg

-- Pan

[Hazel]

In the fair game of sledging you guys 'OUT'

Have witnessed those mighty Tasmanian wood choppers in action..
Sure thing... in the DNA of the Aussie cricketers, soon to be felling the English batsmans heads..
Much like the guillotine dealt with the obsolete...

We're coming for ya.. :boink:

[panopticon]

Just to be sure that there are no mistakes here.

The map used in geography classes in Australia is the McCarthur's Universal Corrective Map Of The World:

http://richardnilsendotcom1.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/upsidedownworld.jpg

A brief history of this cartographic break through:

QYuV4eOVz38
I think the video illustrates my point.

-- Pan

[Anchor]

Oh my, that spoiled the Map of Tassie. It doesnt work corrected ;)

[panopticon]

In the fair game of sledging you guys 'OUT'

Have witnessed those mighty Tasmanian wood choppers in action..
Sure thing... in the DNA of the Aussie cricketers, soon to be felling the English batsmans heads..
Much like the guillotine dealt with the obsolete...

We're coming for ya.. :boink:

Don't get too excited recap.

Remember the secret referendum we had in Oz a few years back?

Now I know I can trust the Avalonians to not go around blabbing so I'll share the result.

It was decided that all sports persons were to use their opposite hand/foot when catching, throwing, batting, kicking etc. So a left footer had to kick with their right and a right footer with their left.
Only time it doesn't apply is when Australians are competing against each other (like in Aerial Ping Pong).
Plus our swimmers had to count to 3 before they could dive into the water.

Just to make it a fair match you understand. :P

Wood chopping was exempted (as a specialty category) since Big Dave and his son were already doing that...

-- Pan

[araucaria]

I would keep off the sticky wicket of this thread, but that map only emphasizes the fact that the world has a top and a bottom with a drip-down effect from north to south in just about every country or continent - except Australia, which is definitely upside down
:behindsofa:

I dread to think what will happen here if England draw Australia in the soccer world cup...

[bram]

Maybe they could make that an olympic sport eh?

Would certainly sort the wheat from the chaff wouldn't it!
Some of these "elite" athletes need a smack behind the ear hole with a lump of 4b4...
Imagine testing either of the 2 David's for performance enhancing drugs...

What would they end up with?


-- Pan

Alcoholic urine I would imagine. But as a spectator sport could it replace, say, dressage? (At which we poms are quite good, y'know)

[Bill Ryan]

In the fair game of sledging

For bewildered non-cricketers who have stumbled accidentally on this thread:

'Sledging' is the practice of the fielders verbally insulting the batsman to try to put him off. This really happens. It must have been started by an Australian. The idea of doing this except in retaliation would never have occurred to any Pom. :)

The Australians are really good at this, and forever goad the English batsmen about their sex life, their parenthood, the queen, how the next ball will definitely get them out, and everything else they can think of (which is usually quite a lot).

Fortunately, it rarely makes any difference, as few Englishmen can understand anything that Australians talk about. So the process is rendered quite harmless and the game usually continues as it should.

[varuna]

...Ashes jokes:
What do you call an Aussie holding a bottle of bubbly? A waiter

What’s the height of optimism? An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

What’s the Australian version of LBW?

Lost, Beaten, Walloped. .....I'm going to take cover now :car:

[Bill Ryan]

.....I'm going to take cover now :car:

No use running for cover. They'll just catch you there. :)

[araucaria]

.....I'm going to take cover now :car:

No use running for cover. They'll just catch you there. :)
Maybe not if they have a leg slip?

[soleil]

its fun to see some sass from bill!

my (too nice) canadian-ness came out as i was thinking "wheres the sorrys or j/k's"...cuz you know....canadians say sorry for everything.

now my biggest question is,

how is cricket even a sport? ;)



yes, i just did:wizard::becky:

[Cidersomerset]

Quote Posted by varuna (here)

.....I'm going to take cover now
No use running for cover. They'll just catch you there.

Silly Point !! Not a good place to stand if Driving or Cutting square
of wicket........


https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT12hkaupDT7dMxtdf1HAouf7In10RZwlN_zQjmsEMYpYQHrnDd4Q

[sian]

Jeeeeze.. well its on then eh!

for starters never seen a pom win an iron man contest in our midst
too damn weak stomached to down the 15 cans of Fosters beer after a belly full of baked beans and raw snags (thats sausages mate for u lilly livered / white flouro arsed poms).

As for the cricket Billy Boy your premature arrogance will most likely see you slide under your hat, shame faced and defeated!
Get with the program and settle petal..
So much for your gentile facade.. can't wait to see you pommies once again disgraced by we the superior breed in the Antipodes.

Here's a humble representation of my deeper feelings on the subject.. look out you wally :first::whoo:

* As for you sian.. I'm a Sheila you don't cross! Would like to see you presented with the self same cricket ball stuffed in your gob at the gloat BBQ when we bring home the Ashes. :girl_wink:

if you can find a bigger ball :bowl: than that measly little thing to shove down my gob, bring it on Sheila:fencing::girl_wink: no silver spoons here, got this mentality to back me up:p

pklsCwbj_QM

[Mike]

http://i-sda.eu/isdastore/download/funny-jokes-in-hindi-wallpapers-778.jpg
Bill's going in on you, Jack! (where are you?) I love it! great thread!

(fill in really bad Crocodile Dundee joke here...)
http://www.siteoffline.com/images/crocodile_dundee.jpg

[araucaria]

Watch out, here comes a chinaman

[sian]

fair d ooze Chinaski, they gotta have their beauty sleep:nod:

[Nasu]

Bump

Speaking on behalf of my English roots... The auzzys don't mean to be sore losers, it's just the nature of the game. As the underdog they revel in all the sympathy and attention, we can all accept that beer helps allot here. I think if we all cared a little less, we might get along allot more, good luck My unlucky cousins, brothers...x ... N

[Positive Vibe Merchant]

Aussie Cricket isn't in the best place at the moment, and the poms have a strong young side... but... the aussie fighting spirit will prevail. wait for the boxing day test. it will be on!

[panopticon]

Here's a classic story about sledging from a great Australian sports hero:

hKe-ugc-yTs
Notice the application of Sun Tsu's prinicples...
-- Pan

[Cidersomerset]

http://www.driffieldtoday.co.uk/webimage/1.5760369.1371032747!/image/3535698561.jpg_gen/derivatives/articleImgDeriv_628px/3535698561.jpg

And mans best friend......

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_XFWmNyyPSTQ/TC4YFZ8EAEI/AAAAAAAABj4/hshaXEuapWI/s1600/dog-hit-in-balls-ouch.jpg

[Bill Ryan]

--------

From the Sydney Morning Herald (http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/englands-cricket-team-demands-silver-service-on-dietary-needs-20131107-2x4fq.html), 7 November:






Australia's media outlets have taken a new direction in their pre-Ashes baiting of the tourists. "Captain Alastair's Ashes Cookbook" is the headline as it is revealed that England have "issued an extravagant 82-page list of demands for catering for its players during the Ashes, including recipe requirements and instructions for preparing nearly 200 different types of meals and beverages".


From the Sydney Morning Herald (http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/ashes-england-team-cuisine-makes-merv-hughes-gag-20131108-2x5t9.html), 8 November:






Popular former Australia quick bowler Merv Hughes has reacted to Friday's revelations of England's 82-page list of catering demands during Test matches. "Give me a ham and pickle sandwich," says the garrulous Hughes.

As revealed by Fairfax Media on Friday, England have issued an 82-page list of recipes and requirements, including instructions on how to prepare dishes such as "Quinoa and Cranberry Breakfast Bar" and "Butternut Squash and Falafel Coronation".

"As I say to people who talk about going on a diet, 'Eat foods you don't like because you don't like much of it,"' Hughes said. "By the sounds of it they're going to have a lot of this crap left over."




Here's Merv Hughes, now retired. (For which all England batsmen give thanks)

http://projectavalon.net/Merv_Hughes.gif


In his younger days, at half his weight (and half his lifetime total of ham and pickle sandwiches)

http://images.smh.com.au/2013/11/08/4906452/----art-wide-merv_20131108124313317120-620x349.jpg

http://www.slxs.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Merv_Hughes.jpg


Come to think of it, the more he eats, the better he looks. Keep it up, Merv.

:)

[mosquito]

The Oz/Kiwi community in London used to have their own newspaper called, if I remember rightly, "Australasian Express". I used to enjoy reading it from time to time during the days when I worked in London. The sports coverage was particularly interesting.

One issue stands out in my mind, it carried the headline: "Poms reel as we run up 78 for 9" - It was the funniest piece of newspaper writing I have ever seen, basically a complete piss-take of the Australian teams recent performance against the English tourists in 1977.

Unfortunately I can't remember the entire article verbatim, but there were 2 passages which stuck in my mind, both excellent for their biting sarcasm. From what I can remember ....

"Smith (?) is famous for his cover drive, in fact, there's not much else he can do. And that's precisely the stroke he made on his first delivery. It was a joy to behold, left foot planted firmly forward, blade arcing gracefully through the air. It was perhaps a shame that the ball was a good length, middle and leg ..."

"Then the Poms sent in Boycott. Now Boycott is very bloody slow, so slow that when he arrives, you have enough time to go off for a slap up meal, screw the mother-in-law and know that when you get back the score will only have advanced by 2 runs." There followed a long and beautiful rant about the Aussie's inability to dislodge Boycott and allow him to run up a high score.

Wish I could remember more. There's a remote chance that my nephew still has my copy of the article. I'll email him and see.

[panopticon]

That's not something to be laughed at Bill.

It's normal for poms to be unable to eat solid food after playing Australia.

That's why there are so many soft foods and smoothies on the list.

-- Pan

[panopticon]

The Oz/Kiwi community in London used to have their own newspaper called, if I remember rightly, "Australasian Express". I used to enjoy reading it from time to time during the days when I worked in London. The sports coverage was particularly interesting.

One issue stands out in my mind, it carried the headline: "Poms reel as we run up 78 for 9" - It was the funniest piece of newspaper writing I have ever seen, basically a complete piss-take of the Australian teams recent performance against the English tourists in 1977.

Unfortunately I can't remember the entire article verbatim, but there were 2 passages which stuck in my mind, both excellent for their biting sarcasm. From what I can remember ....

"Smith (?) is famous for his cover drive, in fact, there's not much else he can do. And that's precisely the stroke he made on his first delivery. It was a joy to behold, left foot planted firmly forward, blade arcing gracefully through the air. It was perhaps a shame that the ball was a good length, middle and leg ..."

"Then the Poms sent in Boycott. Now Boycott is very bloody slow, so slow that when he arrives, you have enough time to go off for a slap up meal, screw the mother-in-law and know that when you get back the score will only have advanced by 2 runs." There followed a long and beautiful rant about the Aussie's inability to dislodge Boycott and allow him to run up a high score.

Wish I could remember more. There's a remote chance that my nephew still has my copy of the article. I'll email him and see.

Aussie/Kiwi sense of humour is very satirical and we go our own just as quick (if not quicker) than havin a go at anyone else.

Would be good to see a copy of it if your nephew can find it.

I can just imagine what would happen in the Aussie press if the Aussie menu came out...

-- Pan

[Cidersomerset]

The basic psychological difference between the Anzacs and the Brits is that
being born 'upside down' with all that blood rushing to the brain a odd
sort of 'pub Philosopher has emerged, an evolutionary side bar as
distinct from Homo Sapiens as Homo Sapiens, Sapiens......


According to Darwin ( Capitol of Northern Territory ) it took millions of years...
http://rosecityacupuncture.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Modern-evolution.jpg


Thanks to Fosters ( magic potion ) It has been speeded up Evolution,Homo Aussie..
http://bloghub.tq.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/aussie-slang-570x411.jpg

An off 'shot' of their close ( some would say to Close Cousin !! )
MK Ultra Drug enhanced programmed....Homo 'Ozzy'

Ozzy builds a beach Barbie.........beginning & end of vid.

HUQSONhnmTc

Aussie Barbie Song......

En-oZB9etX4

[Hazel]

The Oz/Kiwi community in London used to have their own newspaper called, if I remember rightly, "Australasian Express". I used to enjoy reading it from time to time during the days when I worked in London. The sports coverage was particularly interesting.

One issue stands out in my mind, it carried the headline: "Poms reel as we run up 78 for 9" - It was the funniest piece of newspaper writing I have ever seen, basically a complete piss-take of the Australian teams recent performance against the English tourists in 1977.

Unfortunately I can't remember the entire article verbatim, but there were 2 passages which stuck in my mind, both excellent for their biting sarcasm. From what I can remember ....

"Smith (?) is famous for his cover drive, in fact, there's not much else he can do. And that's precisely the stroke he made on his first delivery. It was a joy to behold, left foot planted firmly forward, blade arcing gracefully through the air. It was perhaps a shame that the ball was a good length, middle and leg ..."

"Then the Poms sent in Boycott. Now Boycott is very bloody slow, so slow that when he arrives, you have enough time to go off for a slap up meal, screw the mother-in-law and know that when you get back the score will only have advanced by 2 runs." There followed a long and beautiful rant about the Aussie's inability to dislodge Boycott and allow him to run up a high score.

Wish I could remember more. There's a remote chance that my nephew still has my copy of the article. I'll email him and see.

Aussie/Kiwi sense of humour is very satirical and we go our own just as quick (if not quicker) than havin a go at anyone else.

Would be good to see a copy of it if your nephew can find it.

I can just imagine what would happen in the Aussie press if the Aussie menu came out...

-- Pan

Yeeers struth, too true mate... re the satirical bent of we Aussies
Get along side... about time you old country left-overs appreciated our fair dinkum gumption... eh! ?

You know when l reissue over our Warnie getting wed with your Este' Lordy chick.. I can't help but conclude that he lost his mojo and all other signs of blokedom with the makeover that ensued. A bloody sure fire viral de-sexing /hexing of our cricket team.. that we are still in the 'throws' of exorcising...
**Avalon members stick that one in your conspiracy pipe... for a 'drag queen' expose' or two.

Mind you, the fighting cricketers diet our lot shove down, is still a better gut full than the soft arsed mulch your pommie crew are being served up. It remains (on a wink basis) recomended from on high, that our boys suck on a can or two before a match. And its an indigenous Warny of old legacy .. to neck down cans of bake beans (remains a favourite Popeye repast)... well tested that such doings' will keep a man from being stumped, well into the game and beyond 4 looooong time.

Just wonderin' how newest Mrs Warn copes but?.. Does she keep her scented Este'Lordy scented sachetes secreted in the linen in the marital boudoire?

Eeew on second thoughts... too much food for thought, even for my cast iron
stomache!

Too much like farts in a cheap scented 'knocking shop' init..
:madgrin:

[Cidersomerset]

Published on 17 Mar 2013


Shane Watson was scared of ghosts the night before this match, and spent the night in Brett Lee's room.


TRUE STORY! Gough trolls him accordingly ......


2pCJI-_LHC0

[panopticon]

Crikey, struth and blazes!

Now, I've heard of ball tampering but what was Hot2Trott thinking here:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=23695&d=1384427722

Yeah, I know the tucker ain't the same down in Sydney (no Vietnamese King Prawn Thingamabobs) but surely willow isn't the most nutritious?

Just gotta wonder what goes through a blokes head when he gets out and then decides to eat his bat...

Not much I reckon, not much at all...

-- Pan

[ponda]

http://72allout.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/crickets-david-boon-in-our-defence-its-hard-to-find-5864330.jpg

Now that's an Australian sporting legend.
-- Pan



You know that you have finally made it to true legend status when they make a doll out of you and not just any old doll but a talking doll.

Not long after David Boon broke Dougie Walter's long standing beer drinking record for the Sydney to London flight, Foster's Brewing brought out the "Boonie talking doll" as a free give away with every slab of Victorian Bitter.The Boonie doll would utter pearls of wisdom such as: "is it the drinks break yet ?" or "it's time to go to the pub".

Later on Ian Botham was paid the ultimate compliment when he too was made into a talking doll.The "Beefy Botham" talking doll was born and it would pass on jewels such as "blimey it's hot...time for a VB".

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/62/182395445_2f46983bed_z.jpg?zz=1

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/121/310225305_dcdb37f322.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/Tk8Mfzy.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/KUKvv6X.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/y8tzfKP.jpg

CfOK5GkP21M

[panopticon]

Since we're still natterin' on bout Boonie here's a couple 90's classics from Neville and Gavin Oz (aka Nev n Gaz) the Oz Brothers:

Da1OBE2dmeo
iqdGLQoic7Q
-- Pan

[panopticon]

James Sutherland says that Australia wont cheat like the poms:


The pitches rolled out to exploit Australian weaknesses in England were bad for cricket, Cricket Australia boss James Sutherland has said, adding that Australia will seek no such advantage at home this summer.

A week before the battle for the urn begins in Brisbane, Sutherland took the moral high ground in the pitch wars.

''We have played nine Test matches away this year [in India and England], we have not seen a blade of grass or a drop of moisture on any of those pitches,'' he said, explaining CA's mission at domestic level to improve Sheffield Shield pitches to provide more opportunities for spinners, for batsmen to build long innings, and for batsmen to get better at playing spin.

... Sutherland said curators would not be given any directive, subtle or otherwise, to produce pitches to suit Australia's fast bowlers, and this was not because it might also play into the hands of Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad.

''And we're not looking for an advantage with our pitches. We want fans to see a good contest between bat and ball and we know each pitch has its own characteristics and we want that to continue.''

Asked by Fairfax Media why Australia wouldn't seek to exploit a home soil advantage, Sutherland added: ''I don't think it's good for cricket, I don't think some of the pitches we have played on over the last six months have been conducive to entertaining and high-quality cricket.''

For the recent Ashes in England the pitches were tailored to suit Graeme Swann, and the charismatic off-spinner was the leading wicket-taker in the series with 26 wickets at an average of 29.

But former Australian captain and CA talent manager Greg Chappell believes Swann will be less of a handful on Australian pitches, and that England's third seamer could be a weakness in the absence of the injured Tim Bresnan.

''If they're a bowler short it will make a big difference to them. Swann won't have as much impact in Australia as he had in England. He will bowl some good spells and no doubt he will get some wickets, but he won't have the influence he might have had in England,'' Chappell said.

''When they had pressure on them [in England] they didn't handle it that well.''
Source (http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/ashes-2013-cricket-australia-boss-james-sutherland-said-australia-will-not-seek-pitch-advantages-against-england-this-summer-20131113-2xh4r.html)

If a dead set legend like the Middle Chappell says it, it must be true!
-- Pan

[bram]

James Sutherland says that Australia wont cheat like the poms:


The pitches rolled out to exploit Australian weaknesses in England were bad for cricket, Cricket Australia boss James Sutherland has said, adding that Australia will seek no such advantage at home this summer.

A week before the battle for the urn begins in Brisbane, Sutherland took the moral high ground in the pitch wars.

''We have played nine Test matches away this year [in India and England], we have not seen a blade of grass or a drop of moisture on any of those pitches,'' he said, explaining CA's mission at domestic level to improve Sheffield Shield pitches to provide more opportunities for spinners, for batsmen to build long innings, and for batsmen to get better at playing spin.

... Sutherland said curators would not be given any directive, subtle or otherwise, to produce pitches to suit Australia's fast bowlers, and this was not because it might also play into the hands of Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad.

''And we're not looking for an advantage with our pitches. We want fans to see a good contest between bat and ball and we know each pitch has its own characteristics and we want that to continue.''

Asked by Fairfax Media why Australia wouldn't seek to exploit a home soil advantage, Sutherland added: ''I don't think it's good for cricket, I don't think some of the pitches we have played on over the last six months have been conducive to entertaining and high-quality cricket.''

For the recent Ashes in England the pitches were tailored to suit Graeme Swann, and the charismatic off-spinner was the leading wicket-taker in the series with 26 wickets at an average of 29.

But former Australian captain and CA talent manager Greg Chappell believes Swann will be less of a handful on Australian pitches, and that England's third seamer could be a weakness in the absence of the injured Tim Bresnan.

''If they're a bowler short it will make a big difference to them. Swann won't have as much impact in Australia as he had in England. He will bowl some good spells and no doubt he will get some wickets, but he won't have the influence he might have had in England,'' Chappell said.

''When they had pressure on them [in England] they didn't handle it that well.''
Source (http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/ashes-2013-cricket-australia-boss-james-sutherland-said-australia-will-not-seek-pitch-advantages-against-england-this-summer-20131113-2xh4r.html)

If a dead set legend like the Middle Chappell says it, it must be true!
-- Pan

Wow! Rolling out the excuses already?

[Hazel]

Naaa bram..

dontya recognise a 'fair suck of the sav'' when you see it?!

:horn:

sav' = a savaloy

(as much like: playing at sticking a pavlova in someones smug face when you ain't humble enuff to do otherwise..
aka:when you knows in your heart of hearts you *Vegemite be dead right or wrong..)


'Die Hard' got nottin' on us lot ;)

By the way - another favoured dainty description for the edification of the audience is - "Blowin' it up your arse"
:faint:

[panopticon]

Wow! Rolling out the excuses already?

Hmmmm....

Obviously the fact that the poms cheated in the recent Australian tour of England has been missed by your good self. :blah:

Apologies for bringing it up. :sorry:

How the fact that there was a conspiracy conducted by the pommie cricketing establishment to advantage the pommie cricketers can be interpreted as me making an excuse for Australia's cricket hierarchy not doing the same in the upcoming tour I have no idea... :noidea:

One would think that Australia's willingness to overlook the pom's cheating and not returning in like would be applauded... :humble:

Once again I am stunned... :faint2:
I guess it's just all about who can drink the most tea in England...:tea:
:twitch:
Whereas in Oz it's all about the :cheers:

--Pan

[Hazel]

I'll drink u under the table on that one 'Pan fry the possum outta them Limeys'

:becky:

[panopticon]

I see that the Illuminati and their minions are on the poms side...

Just checked the Brisvegas weather fortune-cast for the 21st-25th and it looks like low temperatures and bloody lightning and thunder storms on the 22nd with rain thereafter...

I shall call together a conclave of the Launceston Boonies and see if we can fix this latest shenanigans!

Here's the hallowed hall of the Grand Boonie Lodge:

http://www.boags.com.au/cdncontent/styles/imageandcopy/public/BigImg_705x404_fuctions_2.jpg

-- Pan

[Hazel]

I see that the Illuminati and their minions are on the poms side...

Just checked the Brisvegas weather fortune-cast for the 21st-25th and it looks like low temperatures and bloody lightning and thunder storms on the 22nd with rain thereafter...

I shall call together a conclave of the Launceston Boonies and see if we can fix this latest shenanigans!

Here's the hallowed hall of the Grand Boonie Lodge:

http://www.boags.com.au/cdncontent/styles/imageandcopy/public/BigImg_705x404_fuctions_2.jpg

-- Pan

Good one..
excellent joint for a posh bush dance and leg over the wicket at stumps..

Am betting a few hundred quid that that beer barrell has heard and seen a few porkies in its day!
:flypig: :whistle:

[panopticon]

Good one..
excellent joint for a posh bush dance and leg over the wicket at stumps..

Blood Oath crapper.

For the non-aussies that would be interpreted as:


What a fine establishment for a knees up and a little slap and tickle.

Very true what eh.

Mind you, it's feelin' a lil bit lonely in this thread...
Look's like the Dunnycork spirit got flushed.
Ol' Winnie would be so bloody unimpressed.

Can't wait for Australia to lose a game so I can turn on the bunch of whining little girls and give 'em a verbal.

Be on for young and old then I bloody reckon.

It's a National pass-time in Oz, pickin on winners and losers alike, second only to the joy of beating the poms.

Even if you know nuffin bout the game, ewes can still go em for being wankers...

It's on mate, it's bloody on.

GiHdpAVIHgo
PXyplMT2dWI
-- Pan

[Hazel]

Yeah good point.. where are the rest of 'ewes contenders?!

Havn't seen our Wankovich Jacko yet... neither... too sad.
Are you piking-out on us mate, or waiting on some prime fodder to pump-up your jabber?

Meanwhile cop this lot:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=srpuEf5GQmM


www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4239AElv8

[bram]

Naaa bram..

dontya recognise a 'fair suck of the sav'' when you see it?!

:horn:

sav' = a savaloy

(as much like: playing at sticking a pavlova in someones smug face when you ain't humble enuff to do otherwise..
aka:when you knows in your heart of hearts you *Vegemite be dead right or wrong..)


'Die Hard' got nottin' on us lot ;)

By the way - another favoured dainty description for the edification of the audience is - "Blowin' it up your arse"
:faint:

Sucking a cabbage? Sheesh

¤=[Post Update]=¤

BY the way, are we still speaking English here? It's getting hard to tell....

[Hazel]

Here we go again bram ya smart arse.. could be English is your 2nd tongue!

Confucius say: those who wear glass boxes should get off the pitch b4 u get another fast ball in ya googlies.


Saveloys are sausages ya drongo..
Go try sucking on one of them :censored:


p.s.. a tip for your next barbie... savoy cabbage does wonders in coleslaw/ but creates bombastic farts. :ohwell:

[panopticon]

Sucking a cabbage? Sheesh

A saveloy is a pommie sausage ya drongo.
They're known as "sav's" in some places in Oz but also known as "little boys" elsewhere. However the saying "fair suck of the sav" is ubiquitous as the other would be completely inappropriate in every social setting in Australia.

http://jamarattigan.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/saveloy-and-chips.jpg

A Savoy is a type of cabbage ya mung bean.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a8/Wirsingkohl.jpg/220px-Wirsingkohl.jpg

I'm wonderin if ewes are really a pom considerin' ya dunno wat a saveloy is...:suspicious:

-- Pan

[panopticon]

I dunno what's happened to the witty pommie come backs...

Must ave dried out wif their wickets...

[Hazel]

Snappo Pan...

havta say but.. can't stomache those 'little boys'
the prophylactics they bag em in play havoc with me digestion...

Musta bin dreamin'... but I think l once saw a bloke blow one-up out of his crack when he was bending over to get a coldie out of his Eski... what a nightmare eh!

:yuck:

**Just Luv our Aussie blokes in their hipster shorts, but when the guys with beer guts wearum they should be decent enuff to match em up with singlets long enuff to cover the brown-eyed budgie cage.

[sian]

23742

never underestimate behind the scenes

[panopticon]

Snappo Pan...

havta say but.. can't stomache those 'little boys'
the prophylactics they bag em in plays havoc with my digestion...

Musta bin dreamin'... but I think l saw a bloke blow one-up out of his arse when he bent over the BBQ once... whats a cracker!

:yuck:

Not touchin' that one wif a ten foot barge pole there crapper.

Reversed plumbers an all...

¤=[Post Update]=¤


23742

never underestimate behind the scenes

That explains cranberry, trotter, potato (root), broad bean and the cook then.

I was wonderin' why they had their own recipe book...

Just a sec...

Is that look on her face cause she's just found Warnie is helpin with putting the shopping away?

[sian]

secrets of the trade, don't be fooled, rocket fuel of the day.

[panopticon]

secrets of the trade, don't be fooled, rocket fuel of the day.

So ya sayin that the poms shouldn't be eatin' smoothies and Vietnamese King Prawn Thingambobs but Pickled Whatchmacallits?
Or ya sayin' that Warnie helpin with the shoppin will always put that kinda look on a pommie sheila's face?
Or are ya sayin' that cabbage is a good propellant which helped England win WWII?
Or is it all the above?

[mahalall]

Strewth recapoo was it her Australian Royal Highness,
wx57dKn6YNE

[sian]

secrets of the trade, don't be fooled, rocket fuel of the day.

So ya sayin that the poms shouldn't be eatin' smoothies and Vietnamese King Prawn Thingambobs but Pickled Whatchmacallits?
Or ya sayin' that Warnie helpin with the shoppin will always put that kinda look on a pommie sheila's face?
Or are ya sayin' that cabbage is a good propellant which helped England win WWII?
Or is it all the above?

rekon you're an Aussie Intel spy on the side panopticon:tape:

[Hazel]

Strewth recapoo was it her Australian Royal Highness,
wx57dKn6YNE

Ok mahalalltogethertoofullofcheek..

I'm a pussy and sail down wind of Foulmouth, compared to Dame Edna's saucy tigress metaphores. She shakes the trouser snakes outta their hidey holes.. enuff to scare the pants off any decent Sheila... such as wot l am.

[panopticon]

Strewth recapoo was it her Australian Royal Highness,
wx57dKn6YNE

Yeah, Dame Edna is a national treasure.

Much as Sir Les Patterson, Former Australian Cultural Attache, she spreads the word on the glory of Oz.

Here's a bit a Les for those who aren't familiar:

1Hw0EwWKQRY
1F7E7lAp-hM
-- Pan

[panopticon]

I see the poms are complaining about not getting priority access to sporting facilities that have been booked out for months. It's called forward planning chaps.

They're also not impressed that their dietary requirements are not going to be met.


England's unprecedented list of dietary demands, obtained by Fairfax Media last week, will not be dished out to them exactly as they hoped.

The 82-page document, prepared by England's performance nutritionist Chris Rosimus, contained requirements for what should be served to players and at exactly what time, with different dishes on each day of a Test and a recipe guide marked as ''essential''.

The file contained 194 recipes for food and drinks, including such eye-catching entries as ''piri-piri breaded tofu'', and while variations of some items will be provided to players from both sides - they eat in the same room in every Australian venue except the SCG - they can generally expect less exotic fare such as roast chicken, steak, pasta and a make-your-own sandwich station.

''We're getting through a fair bit of it," said Michael O'Brien. Catering general manager Caroline O'Brien said. ''Obviously we're not doing the whole booklet. We'll do variations of some of their hot food selections and smoothies, and we've picked up a lot of the England dressings for their salads and a lot of salads that they've requested.''

O'Brien said Australia had not provided specified menus and recipes like England but only guidelines for what food they wanted.
Source (www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/ashes-preparation-hosts-turn-down-several-requests-from-england-cricket-team-20131115-2xmdl.html)

WTF is 'piri-piri breaded tofu' when it's at home?
What is wrong with 'roast chicken, steak, pasta and a make-your-own sandwich[es]'?

It's all a bloody mystery ta me.

At least they'll have their smooties...

[Bill Ryan]

I dunno what's happened to the witty pommie come backs...



Not really necessary. I can understand why the Aussies are trying to derail the thread with nonsense about cabbage and wood chopping. (And much else, none of which I could understand.)




By the way, are we still speaking English here? It's getting hard to tell....

Half of us are! :)

To get this thread back on topic, here's what's happening in the real cricket world:

http://projectavalon.net/cricket/England_take_control_15_November_2013.gif

Everyone did well except Carberry, who's impressive already and didn't need to do any more. (He's clearly been reading Sun Tzu, too.)

Meanwhile, I see that Aussie batsman Shane Watson has retired from the game.

http://projectavalon.net/cricket/Shane_Watson.gif

(This is actually a blow to the England team...)

And finally, cricket news is full of the final test match being played by Indian superhero batsman Sachin Tendulkar, possibly the world's most popular ever sportsman, beloved by hundreds of millions of Indians for his extraordinary poise, grace, skill and consistent ability.

In the 2011 cricket World Cup, when Tendulkar scored 120 against England, a large sign in the crowd recommended:



Commit your crimes when Sachin is batting.
They will go unnoticed, because even the Lord is watching.


When Australia gets to bat against England next week, criminals had better be careful. Because the Lord, already knowing the outcome, and with no poise, grace, or skill in sight, won't bother to turn up.

:)

[Hazel]

Here's slingin' some more Austen Tayshus A'strein atya.. 4 ewes who can't wait to learn our fine lingo..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=97YnGQE1q6M


**As for your last post Billy on the Boil... you'll keep :madgrin:

[panopticon]

When Australia gets to bat against England next week, criminals had better be careful. Because the Lord, already knowing the outcome, and with no poise, grace, or skill in sight, won't bother to turn up.

:)

That's right, Boonie wont be in attendance. He's refereeing in India (http://www.icc-cricket.com/about/90/match-officials/umpire-appointments) during the first test.

I reckon Cranberry thinks Sun-Tzu is a chicken dish served with piri-piri bloody tofu whatsit...

Also Bill, you should know that Wikipedia isn't the fountain of all knowledge.
Watson has healed quite well and looks set for the Gabba next week.

As for Tendulkar, he's a dead set legend that bloke.
No Vietnamese King Prawn Thingamabobs or Piri-piri tofu creations for 'im I reckon.

In addition can you answer why oh why was Pigsy Trotter eating his bat???
Had he dropped some salad dressing on it???
Inquiring minds need to know!

-- Pan

[jackovesk]

-------

Dear All:

As light relief from a sometimes very worrisome world, I thought it was time to post something about cricket.

Wait a minute -- did I say light relief? This is serious! :)

This thread is dedicated to my mate Jackovesk (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?580-jackovesk). I'm only calling him my mate because I feel sorry for him. Jacko's not a bad bloke even though he's an Aussie, which he can't help, but it only seemed kind to warn him of the coming humiliation down under at the hands of the England cricket team.

The first test (which is English* for international cricket match) starts on 21 November. England will win, of course, and in the five match series it will be the start of a rout.

For those who know of such things, English opening batsmen Cook and Carberry already helped themselves to more runs than they knew what to do with (in a warm-up match last week), and had to retire themselves out because the Aussies couldn't do the job themselves.

http://projectavalon.net/Cook_and_Carberry_retired_out.gif

This gives us all plenty of notice what to expect later this month. Except next time, they'll stay in to score a couple of hundred each.


* It should be noted that the Australians speak English (at least, a crude variant of it) and don't even have their own language. In fact, they don't really have their own anything at all to be proud of, except for legendary cricketing maestro Don Bradman -- and he, alas for the current Australian team, is long gone.


G'Day Bill...:yo:


The first test (which is English* for international cricket match) starts on 21 November. England will win, of course, and in the five match series it will be the start of a rout.

Well (STONE the FLAMING CROWS) now who's a confident pommy abroad then hey...

Bill obviously wore his hat (Back to Front) today, either that or he's been flat out like a lizard drinking (Warm Pints...:bad:) down the local with his mates...

For (CRYING OUT LOUD) Bill...

:director:.................


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL2DH-nKBeA
CRIKEY - I tell ya the Poms have got about as much chance of retaining the (ASHES) as Mylie Cyrus has of winning the Miss Universe Pageant & a Nobel Laureate in the same year...:pound:

Mylie says (Hi Bill)...:wave:

http://global3.memecdn.com/cannot-be-unseen_fb_2102155.jpg

Heard a Joke the other day about the English Cricket Team...

Did ya Jack?

Sure did..!

Tell us then...

Ok...


Q. What's the English version of LBW..?
A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped..!

Right that's enough of the friendly banter, now lets get right down to the dogs breakfast, the nitty-gritty...

The (TRUTH)..!

I keep it short for now...



Australia (WILL WIN) the 1st Test at the GABBA in Brisbane
Australia (WILL WIN) the 2nd Test at the Adelaide Oval
Australia (WILL WIN) the 3rd Test at the WACA in Western Australia


Headline: Australia (WINS) the 1st 3 Test and the Ashes finally come (HOME) where they belong..!

...and if by some miracle this doesn't go to plan, I'd settle for a narrow (WIN) by a few tinnies/stubbies short of a slab..!

[Nasu]

Sure Jack, sure. Sounds to me, for all your hope and bluster, that you've already accepted defeat. Even Your old pal sun zu knew that one - the battle is won before the sword is drawn... See you in the bar afterwards, i'l buy the first round to help cheer you up and feel a little better... N

[selinam]

V

Strewth recapoo was it her Australian Royal Highness,
wx57dKn6YNE

Yeah, Dame Edna is a national treasure.

Much as Sir Les Patterson, Former Australian Cultural Attache, she spreads the word on the glory of Oz.

Here's a bit a Les for those who aren't familiar:

1Hw0EwWKQRY
1F7E7lAp-hM
-- Pan

Hilarious videos -thanks for posting! :)

[Hazel]

Now we've got Jackowitz and Panoffski battin' on our side we now have enuff top notch clowns to proper sledge this shambollic 3 Ring Circus Billbo Ryan laughingly calls 'The Cricket Thread...'

Whatdya reckon? Cos' I'm sus' that bein' an ex pat in the wilds of whatsit' is proovin' too much for the fella in the Aussie bush hat. So telling that a blokes sufferin' from Ocker Envy when hes wearin as a crown such a classic icon of our big brown land. If I squint a bit, I can just see the man sportin' thongs n' a Fosters stubby holder (huggin' his jungle juice) too when he's chillin' watching the cricket...

In strewth, the the sly old dingo probably fronts as a luver of his muther cuntry.. when hes roolly rootin' for us Aussies.

See I'm on this Avalon Aussie outpost... postin' cos of me XXXX gut knowing, and not just for me old chook bikini bod' gifts... that would by the way, easy eclipse Mileys scrawny giblets... :blabla: just sayin!

[Nasu]

Now we've got Jackowitz and Panoffski battin' on our side we now have enuff top notch clowns to proper sledge this shambollic 3 Ring Circus Billbo laughingly calls 'The Cricket Thread...'

Whatdya reckon? Cos' I'm sus' that bein' an ex pat in the wilds of whatsit' is proovin' too much for the fella in the Aussie bush hat. So telling when a blokes sufferin' from Ocker Envy when hes wears as a crown such a classic icon of our big brown land. If I squint a bit, I can just see the man sportin' thongs n' a stubby holder too when he's chillin' watching the cricket... in fact the the sly ole dingo probably fronts as a luver of his muther cuntry.. when hes roolly rootin' for us Aussies.

See I'm on this Avalon Aussie outpost... postin' cos of me XXXX gut knowing, and not just for my old chook bikini bod' gifts... that would easy eclipse Mileys scrawny giblets... :blabla: just sayin!

Keep em coming, the more the merrier, attack us with all you've got. Like I said, I'll see you crying in the bar after. First ones on me... N

[Hazel]

:bounce: It'll be more like cryin' with mirth Nasugoreng... cryin' with joy!
As the likes of you eat crow with a side of dismay pud'

:caked:...

But ya know should by some bad liver fluke (got by the boys in this years Bali bar trawl) and the Brit's win, we'll sort it in an arm wrestle.
(Oi n' b4 u dare thunk it :doh:.. any fluke infestation would be nottin' t'do with the team gettin' near the sheep on their last NZ tour).

Any ways watch your trip lip.. as the famous refrain goes this is "where the women thunder.." and never chunder cos' we all went to the head bangers finnishing-off school of this Great Southern land.. for toot'sweet *ladies.

:frusty: :smokin:

Take a good gander at these top graduates:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhMKARRmuLI

www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5YTYLPwOFs

[jackovesk]

The (Inside) workings of an Aussie Cricket Tragics Mind...

Mine...:neo:


Disclaimer: Words and Opinions expressed by this member, may not reflect the views of others...


Aussies love to (HATE) the Poms when it comes to (ANYTHING) on a sporting field, its entrenched in our DNA due to decades & decades of English rule and our (HATRED) of (AUTHORITY)...

Just ask me mate, Ned Kelly (He'll tell ya)...!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I honestly and I mean honestly, "How can anyone support the English Cricket Team...?" Sorry Bill, I just don't get it?

Must be a (NWO/City of London) thing, I find it hard to separate the 2...:noidea:

Ya see, we (True Blue) Aussies, just (HATE) to lose at anything on the sporting field...

Why..?

Because our National identity really revolves around sport, we absolutely love the challenge of being the (Underdog), you can not really understand this mindset until you've lived on an isolated island (Continent) so far removed from the rest of the World...

We (ARE) Pound for Pound...:boxing: the (Greatest) sporting Nation on earth, barre none...! Remember there is only 23 million of us against the UK's 63 million or India's 1.27 billion...

Aussies relate to sport moreso than most other Countries because like it or not its a (Big Part) of our National Identity and a lot of us come from Genuine (Convict) stock who have fought very hard over our not so humble beginnings, to (Fight) our way out of Mother England's shadow and forge our own independence as a Nation...

Which over the last 50 years has been done through our Sporting prowess...

So ya see...

Its not just another game to us...:nono:

Its (WAR) against those who (STILL) are trying to enslave us...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So (BRING it ON) you toffee bunch of pretenders..!

Now, (Why?) would I say such a thing like my statement 'above'..?

I'll give you an example of what I have personally (Witnessed)...

Example (1)

The (2010–11 Series) Down-under...

The (Drawn) 1st Test at the GABBA in Brisbane...

I used to have a property that backed onto the park, adjacent to the (Pineapple Hotel) which is the most popular watering hole near the GABBA...

I was drinking plenty (as you do) when the Cricket is in town and after the test it was off to the (Piney) to guzzle a few more coldies...

The (Balmy Army) were there being as (Loud & Obnoxious) as we Aussies are in the English pubs after such a sporting event...:yes4:

The Hotel staff and Management had had enough of the (Balmy Army) and kicked them all out of the pub...

That wasn't the problem though, the (Problem) was when the pub shut and I had to walk right past the lot them on my way home...

All (Paralytic) and in (Unison) they sang the following right in front of me in (HATE)...


http://fla.fg-a.com/flags/great-britain-flag-1.gif"Get your (Sh!t Stars) (OFF)...(OUR) Flag - (Ooo Ah) - (Ooo Ah)..!"

Over & Over - Again & Again...

I had to listen a couple of times to make sure what I heard was what I heard...

I was outnumbered around 60:1 so I had to stomach and bare it whilst crossing their path...

What really (Pissed me Off) was the (FACT) that we...


Didn't want the fking (Union Jack) on our Flag in the 1st place...!!!!!!!!!! :mad2:

It (STILL) annoys me to this day..! So does there National Anthem (God save the Queen)...! If the plebs only knew...?!!!

So in reality its not just any old (Cricket Match) or (Sporting Event) its way more than that...

Because (Every Time) we beat the Poms at anything, its a little step closer to our Independence as a Nation. In the (Hope) that one day we will (Rid Ourselves) from (Crown Rule) keep the stars & get rid of that god forsaken (Union Jack) ONCE & FOR ALL...!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's Why the (Holy Grail) stays down-under and our (Fighting Psyche) that's something the (Poms) will...

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/87/Ashes_Urn.jpg/330px-Ashes_Urn.jpg
The Ashes urn (made of terracotta and about six inches (150 mm) tall) is reputed to contain a burnt cricket bail...

a) Never understand &
b) Never have..!

So yeh, its a little more than just any old Cricket match...:wizard:

[Hazel]

Whooo heavy Jacko...
But I'll ditto that maaaaate

and I'll throw in a moonie at the poms 4 good measure :pound::dance3:

Talk about a therapeutic venting of the old grunt.. a good conduit for shootin' it down the dunny this thread init!

[jackovesk]

Whooo heavy Jacko...
But I'll ditto that maaaaate

and I'll throw in a moonie at the poms 4 good measure :pound::dance3:

Its Ok, Bill understands my (Sense of Humor - I Hope?) unlike some others here...

Just paving the way with a little friendly (Aussie Banter/Sledging) before the (Real Stuff) begins...:)

[Hazel]

Whooo heavy Jacko...
But I'll ditto that maaaaate

and I'll throw in a moonie at the poms 4 good measure :pound::dance3:


Its Ok, Bill understands my (Sense of Humor - I Hope?) unlike some others here...

Just paving the way with a little friendly (Aussie Banter/Sledging) before the (Real Stuff) begins...:)

Yeaaah aknaaaaw... we all got our own score board running on this one bros'
wink;)

And there'll be a lot more awkward moments commeth for the unititiated... no worries there!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8Bc7eRTdWY

[apokalypse]

haven't follow cricket in years since Legendary Spinner Shane Warne retired...what happen to Australia Cricket? too many distractions? We better than those pomps in every sports back in the day, take a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ashes_series...we destroy them in Ashes series from 89 to 03, that Ash belong to us and it should come back home.

the good old days...

[jackovesk]

If I (Log-Out) now Bill, will I be aloud back in..? :scared:..:)

[panopticon]

Well it appears that worthy opponents for the poms are hard to come by:

http://www.jantoo.com/cartoons/lowres/103/10300312_low.jpg

Even the myopic amputee school girls 2nd XI is too much for 'em in a fair game...

Ever since the poms started cheating back in '32, with that bastard of bastards bloody Jardine at the helm, its been a hard slog working out how they are going to cheat next.

Most recently pitch tampering earlier this year and now trying to contaminate our fine quisscene with bloody piri-piri thingamabobs and Vietnamese King Prawn Whatchmacallits.

http://images.smh.com.au/2013/11/15/4928659/ZAH_golding_LN-20131115224234708875-300x0.jpg

What would happen if Warner accidently wrapped his laughin' gear round some of that wombat droppings? Reckon he'd more than "tap" a pom this time and no court in Oz would convict im nyfa!

Get ya hand of it ya bunch of silver spooned whingin' pommie wankers.

[Hazel]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/page2/content/story/624314.html


Muhhhaaa haaaaa haaaaaa

[panopticon]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/page2/content/story/624314.html

Muhhhaaa haaaaa haaaaaa

Yeah crapper, that's a goodun:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=23751&d=1384577284
'Nick Compton is hesitant to tell Alastair Cook that the book he's reading is not going to help him learn to sledge.'

-- Pan

[Hazel]

Yup sure sorts the wheat from the chaff eh.. Pantycon

:bump2:

[jackovesk]

Ok enough of this banter, let the (Real Stuff) begin...

My thoughts on (WHY?) I believe we can bring the ASHES back to their rightful resting place...

Thu 21 Nov 2013 Australia vs England - Ashes - 1st Test

http://media.ticketmaster.com/tm/en-au/dbimages/144980a.png

Let's start with the English team...

England Ashes squad:




1. Alastair Cook, (Makes runs down here consistently, but his biggest weakness is his Captaincy)

2. Joe Root, (Over-Rated) will struggle down-under (Arrogant - Flash in the Pan)

3. Jonathan Trott, (Over-Rated) Aussies have finally worked out he doesn't like the 'Short-Ball' and will be violently 'Exposed' on our bouncy wickets)

4. Kevin Pietersen, Great player, dogged by inconsistency. Generally stands up down-under)

5. Ian Bell, England's (Best-In Form) Batsmen, once labeled the 'Sherminator' by Shane Warne. If he doesn't perform, England are in 'Big-Trouble!

6. Jonny Bairstow, What a 'Joke' he's just not good enough. (Period!)

7. Matt Prior, Great wicket keeper, but like Trott he's susceptable to the 'Short-Ball'

8. Stuart Broad, Not a fan, but respect his work ethic and his ability to get wickets

9. Graeme Swann, Great Spinner, but the PTB please 'STOP' comparing him to Warney (Chalk & Cheese) Warnies the 'Best' by a mile!

10. James Anderson, What a 'Bowler' one that Aussies 'Love to HATE'

11. Steven Finn, Could surprise but I doubt it!

12. Boyd Rankin ?

13. Monty Panesar, :pound:


Australian Ashes squad:




1. Chris Rogers - Battler who has now (Earnt his Spot) never gives in

2. David Warner - What a 'STAR', this series you (WILL) see him at his best

3. Shane Watson - When he's opening and 'inform' LOOKOUT..!

4. Michael Clarke - Record speaks for itself (Attacking Captain who is Streaks ahead of Alistair Cook)

5. Brad Haddin - Our purest stroker of the willow who will be better off after the last series and always makes 'Big Runs' at crucial times

6. Peter Siddle - Known solid performer (Crucial) to our success

7. Ryan Harris - plagued by injury (The World is yet to see the Best of him)

8. Jackson Bird - Australia's most (Under-Rated) bowler, due to injury and lack of opportunity

9. Ed Cowen - Has had more than enough opportunities, wilts under pressure getting out more often than not on stupid shot selection - Not Good Enough!

10. Phil Hughes - Battled an overcame his technique to reinstate himself back into the side, tough competitor who deserves his spot...

11. Usman Khawaja - ACB have given this guy more chances than most (Has to perform in this Series) or he risks never to wear the 'Baggy-Green' again!

12. James Pattinson - Bowling in England with (Stress Fractures) in his back, if fit? Watch out England!

13. Mitchell Starc, (What a GUN) Definitely haven't seen the best of him...:nono: If we do? Its (Goodnight Irene)...:yes4:

14. Matthew Wade, solid wicketkeeper may get a start in the middle order

15. Mitch Johnson is (In Form) and selected for the 1st Test at the GABBA. This is his last chance and he (Won't) disappoint...:nono:


Newbies




1. James Faulkner our (New)All-rounder...(Secret Weapon) This kid is a (Winner) and one of our toughest (Competitors) Will play & (WILL) Star - England don't have and never will have an answer for this kid, he's simply way too good to quell...


Well there you have it, my take on both Teams, now for the summation...

Summary

Why do I think the Aussies will (Win-back) the Ashes in Nov 2013..?

Bullet Points



We have the Best (Coach - Darren Lehman) by a proverbial mile
We have the Best Captain
Mitchell Starc to (Fire)
The (Fat-Lady) has already started to sing for some of our Batsmen and its their (Last Chance)..!
Davey Warner poised to have his best (Series) ever
Jackson Bird - If fit, bowls a straight, good consistent line & has the ability to move the ball late (Will surprise) if he gets the call up
All our Batsmen are (Due)
James Faulkner is a (Match-Winner) and will prove that this Series


England's lineup is getting a little too old, and the youngsters they are bringing in are simply (Over-Rated) and have never really been put to the test under the tough Australian conditions...

Australia on the other hand is still in the (Re-building) phase and are hurting after our successive losses and will be (Desperate) for Pay-Back...

Our youngsters compliment our Team, not hinder it & will be looking to impress and (more Importantly) they are (only) brought into the side when they are (In-Form)...

Aussies will play it down and label themselves the (Underdogs) and we just love to (Beat the Poms) as most know and that's (EXACTLY) how it will play out starting next week...:yes4:

Regards,

Jack

[panopticon]

1. Alastair Cook, (Makes runs down here consistently, but his biggest weakness is his Captaincy)

2. Joe Root, (Over-Rated) will struggle down-under (Arrogant - Flash in the Pan)

3. Jonathan Trott, (Over-Rated) Aussies have finally worked out he doesn't like the 'Short-Ball' and will be violently 'Exposed' on our bouncy wickets)

4. Kevin Pietersen, Great player, dogged by inconsistency. Generally stands up down-under)

5. Ian Bell, England's (Best-In Form) Batsmen, once labeled the 'Sherminator' by Shane Warne. If he doesn't perform, England are in 'Big-Trouble!

6. Jonny Bairstow, What a 'Joke' he's just not good enough. (Period!)

7. Matt Prior, Great wicket keeper, but like Trott he's susceptable to the 'Short-Ball'

8. Stuart Broad, Not a fan, but respect his work ethic and his ability to get wickets

9. Graeme Swann, Great Spinner, but the PTB please 'STOP' comparing him to Warney (Chalk & Cheese) Warnies the 'Best' by a mile!

10. James Anderson, What a 'Bowler' one that Aussies 'Love to HATE'

11. Steven Finn, Could surprise but I doubt it!

12. Boyd Rankin ?

13. Monty Panesar, :pound:



So you reckon Cranberry ain't goin ta open for tha poms then Jack?

-- Pan

[jackovesk]

1. Alastair Cook, (Makes runs down here consistently, but his biggest weakness is his Captaincy)

2. Joe Root, (Over-Rated) will struggle down-under (Arrogant - Flash in the Pan)

3. Jonathan Trott, (Over-Rated) Aussies have finally worked out he doesn't like the 'Short-Ball' and will be violently 'Exposed' on our bouncy wickets)

4. Kevin Pietersen, Great player, dogged by inconsistency. Generally stands up down-under)

5. Ian Bell, England's (Best-In Form) Batsmen, once labeled the 'Sherminator' by Shane Warne. If he doesn't perform, England are in 'Big-Trouble!

6. Jonny Bairstow, What a 'Joke' he's just not good enough. (Period!)

7. Matt Prior, Great wicket keeper, but like Trott he's susceptable to the 'Short-Ball'

8. Stuart Broad, Not a fan, but respect his work ethic and his ability to get wickets

9. Graeme Swann, Great Spinner, but the PTB please 'STOP' comparing him to Warney (Chalk & Cheese) Warnies the 'Best' by a mile!

10. James Anderson, What a 'Bowler' one that Aussies 'Love to HATE'

11. Steven Finn, Could surprise but I doubt it!

12. Boyd Rankin ?

13. Monty Panesar, :pound:



So you reckon Cranberry ain't goin ta open for tha poms then Jack?

-- Pan

Until Bill mentioned 'Cranberry's' name the other day, I honestly hadn't heard of him before...

I trust Bill's judgement and he said, he's gone through a lot too get to where he is today...

So, he sounds like a hard nut and if he's fit I'm sure they will find spot for him in the starting lineup...:yes4:

[Bill Ryan]

-------

Hi there, Folks:

Well, now that Jacko's back, we can actually talk about cricket. :)

England walloped the Aussies in their latest warm-up match, and CARberry got yet another 50.

http://projectavalon.net/cricket/England_win_16_Nov_2013.gif

For any Aussies with half a heart (are there any?) Carberry's story is a bit of a hero's journey: he was doing well in county cricket a few years ago, and was eyeballed for the England team. Then he got a blood clot in his lung, and nearly died. He thought he'd never play cricket again, and spent two winters qualifying as an electrician. Now, miraculously, he has his chance again. (Maybe the Lord is watching HIM -- see my post #74. (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?65363-The-Cricket-Thread--for-Whinging-Poms-and-Aussie--------s-only-&p=758228&viewfull=1#post758228))

Besides his fighting spirit, he's popular for his dressing-room impersonation of the great West Indian batsman Viv Richards (right, below: that's Carberry on the left).

(Note: Viv Richards, one of the game's legends, is one of the few non-Aussies (besides Sachin Tendulkar and Ian Botham) that an Aussie cricket fan might ever buy a drink for. I predict Carberry just might earn himself a grudging pint from some Aussie sometime this winter.)

http://projectavalon.net/cricket/Michael_Carberry_Viv_Richards.jpg

I also predict a century opening partnership between Cook and Carberry as soon as England get to bat next week. Watch this space. Bring it on. :)

[Hazel]

Ok boys can take a bludgeoning hint..
done with my servicing of periferal, vacuous, vapid, polly-filling "banter"
leaving you boys to "actually talk about the cricket"

Enjoy... and may the best team win. :biggrin:

[panopticon]

Ok boys can take a bludgeoning hint..
done with my servicing of periferal, vacuous, vapid, polly-filling "banter"
leaving you boys to "actually talk about the cricket"

Enjoy... and may the best team win. :biggrin:

Well I'm not goin' ta spend hours goin' over stats and evaluatin' player profiles.
Never understood why someone would do that...
Watch the buggars play, no worries, havin a go at the poms and watchin the pitiful comebacks, "fair play, what eh", but natterin' about player stats ain't really "the lighter side" as advamatised...

I'll come back later an see if the poms 'ave any funny comments but I ain't holdin' ma breath (a blokes gotta breath some time).

-- Pan

[Finefeather]

If all you British and Aussies came to live in South Africa, you guys would be free from abusing one another because you'd both be supporting the winning side. :)
So come on guys see you at the airport !

[jackovesk]

Ian Chappell says England hold an edge over Australia where it matters most

November 16, 2013

http://resources0.news.com.au/images/2013/11/16/1226761/691880-89d55dfe-4e93-11e3-9491-1affab8972a4.jpg
Alastair Cook leads England on and off field


In the build up to this Ashes series the talk has been about a settled Australian side and the troubled English camp. Trumpeting the home side's chances is common in any Ashes preamble but in this case is it reality?

One simple way to gauge the likely outcome of a series is to line-up the players with an established Test pedigree in each team and see if one side appears superior. In this case England has four batsmen [no Joe Root nor Michael Carberry], three bowlers and a wicketkeeper, provided Matthew Prior is fit. Australia on the other hand has one batsman, with another borderline, two bowlers and a wicketkeeper.

Australian players in that category are Michael Clarke, [Shane Watson is borderline] Peter Siddle, Ryan Harris and Brad Haddin, with the proviso that age may be catching up on his batting. Of the other batsmen, Dave Warner and Steve Smith have displayed the talent to be elevated to the next level without providing the required consistency. Chris Rogers is a short-term Test solution and possible debutant George Bailey is an unknown quantity.

http://content5.video.news.com.au/NDM_CP_-_Fox_Sports/259/664/FSD_171113_CRI_MCDERMOTT_ON_WATSON.jpg

There's no doubt that Warner, Watson and Smith are all explosive stroke makers who can cause the opposition serious headaches. If two of those three players have a breakout series, then England could be in trouble. However, if their form continues to bump along, hitting ruts and smooth patches with equal consistency, then Australia will rely heavily on Clarke to continue his recent mammoth run production. In that case Australia could be short of runs.

The frailty of England's batting was exposed in the last series. If those flaws are still evident then Australia's stocks will rise quickly. However, most of the debate so far has presupposed that England's batsmen are brain dead and have done nothing to address their issues, while a combination of runs in ODI's and Sheffield Shield encounters has the Australian batsmen dispatching their weaknesses as though they were a gentle long-hop.

Neither position is sustainable and that's why actual contests are generally far more illuminating than the jousting beforehand.

In the last series, Cook and Trott were the two England batsmen most unsettled by Australia's tactics but their excellent Test records suggest they've successfully overcome previous challenges. The same could be said of Clarke's frailty against the short-pitched delivery. It'll be an interesting sidelight to watch how these three highly successful players have reacted to the opposition's assault on their technique.

Turning attention to the bowlers, both sides have two excellent fast men. Both Ryan Harris and Jimmy Anderson rely on movement, either through the air or off the pitch with the Australian being slightly quicker and the Englishman more durable. Peter Siddle and Stuart Broad are similarly aggressive and have the ability to produce match winning spells. Both teams badly need their spearheads to remain fit and in form and of the four, Anderson and Siddle are the most likely to survive the marathon

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2013/11/16/1226761/691909-fa881776-4e93-11e3-9491-1affab8972a4.jpg
Graeme Swann and Jimmy Anderson will be England’s strike weapons.

Mitchell Johnson is the unknown factor in Australia's quest for the Ashes; if he fires consistently it could elevate the side to favouritism and if his resurgence is a myth, it could reduce their efforts to futility.

England's third quickie is a toss-up between three and this could be an area Australia can exploit. An in-form Chris Tremlett could be devastating but signs are he's past his best. Stephen Finn is an enigma; he takes wickets but at times looks distinctly unthreatening and can be profligate. Boyd Rankin's pace and bounce will be enticing for the English selectors but he adds little else.

England has a distinct advantage in spin bowling. Graeme Swann is a classy off-spinner, penetrating and accurate, while Nathan Lyon often looks dangerous but this doesn't always result in victims. It'll be a huge gamble if Australia opt for an all-pace attack at the Gabba.

England has more pedigreed players and Australia needs everything to go right in batting and bowling. That would suggest on paper England is favoured to win but as my old coach told me; "Ian, they play this game on turf."

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/cricket/ian-chappell-says-england-hold-an-edge-over-australia-where-it-matters-most/story-fni2fnmo-1226761690401

PS - Ian Chappell often gets to write a story like this leading up to an Ashes series.

He often guises his writing with a (Wake-Up-Call) to those players who need to hear the truth, a warning call if you like to bring the best out of them on the Eve of Crickets most famous test...

PSS - Who would have believed I won an under 10 Coca-Cola state cricket competition at age 8 with my reward being a brand New Grey Nichols 'Scoop' bat, batting pads & gloves presented to my by none other than Ian Chappell himself...

The reason I won, Chappell said to me was because my ability to play the square-cut off the backfoot, just so happens that was Ian's favourite shot. Lucky me.

That was the highlight of my brief cricketing career, as I chose to concentrate on 'Aussie Rules' footy instead...:noidea:

[panopticon]

That was the highlight of my brief cricketing career, as I chose to concentrate on 'Aussie Rules' footy instead...:noidea:

Bloody aerial ping pong...

Musta been all the sheila's that got ya wearin tha short-shorts and sportin a mullet eh? :mullet:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Tm0YtcRad8c/TdFQ6f2lMdI/AAAAAAAALXo/_VlZ2XTtyZE/s1600/mullet-hairstyles-Warwick-Capper-6386991.jpg

:pound:

[sian]

FEEEW. at last, a fare game. the real art of cricket.

i'm out too (no pun intended :biggrin:)

been a pleasure havi'n a jar or 2 with you Aussies.

Keep it going Bill and Jack, CRICKET EDUCATION good for the soul.

23752

CHEERS:cool:

ps. Yorkshire Tea, a good cuppa.

[Bill Ryan]

may the best team win. :biggrin:


They will! (That's what I've been pointing out all along.)





The reason I won, Chappell said to me was because my ability to play the square-cut off the backfoot, just so happens that was Ian's favourite shot. Lucky me.

That was the highlight of my brief cricketing career, as I chose to concentrate on 'Aussie Rules' footy instead...:noidea:


Jacko, I got to be impressed. The square cut off the back foot is the most elegant shot in cricket. I never could get that one timed right.

What a shame you gave up the game. The Australian team needs you now! :)





Ian Chappell says England hold an edge over Australia where it matters most

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/cricket/ian-chappell-says-england-hold-an-edge-over-australia-where-it-matters-most/story-fni2fnmo-1226761690401


Good analysis, by the way. Apart from his not mentioning Carberry (who he obviously doesn't know at all, but he can be forgiven for that) -- I'd totally agree with him.





If all you British and Aussies came to live in South Africa, you guys would be free from abusing one another because you'd both be supporting the winning side. :)
So come on guys see you at the airport !


Now, don't you start!!

I have only three things to say to any South African cricket buff.

1. Basil D'Oliveira!
2. Hansie Cronje!
3. Jacques Kallis!

Wait a minute... cancel that last. :)

By the way, the best chance of uniting the Brits and the Aussies would be for them to put together a combined XI and then play the South Africans with their best joint team. With that, we might possibly stand a chance of beating you.

(Explanatory note to non cricket followers: the South Africans, unaccountably, are the acknowledged best team in cricket at the moment.
But that won't last long.)

Ah -- this was what I wanted to say.

3. Kevin Pietersen!

---> http://bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/24807652

[panopticon]

As the countdown to the First Test at the Gabba nears its end I thought it prudent to show a few highlights from previous Ashes tests there. ;)

gRnjsUciCgE
How's this for a 26th Birthday present (yes, that's Broad not walking after being caught plumb -- no real surprise there -- and yes, Siddles 29th birthday is the last day of this years Brisbane Test):

lRRGy_EQqAA
Finally, a bit of nostalgia with Thommo delivering the goods (is that blood on the cricket pitch Tony?):

zCSYCFr59H4
What present weather fortune-casters are saying conditions might be like over the First Test:

AQfdRGoG4SY
-- Pan ;)

[jackovesk]

The reason I won, Chappell said to me was because my ability to play the square-cut off the backfoot, just so happens that was Ian's favourite shot. Lucky me.

That was the highlight of my brief cricketing career, as I chose to concentrate on 'Aussie Rules' footy instead...:noidea:


Jacko, I got to be impressed. The square cut off the back foot is the most elegant shot in cricket. I never could get that one timed right.

What a shame you gave up the game. The Australian team needs you now! :)



LOL...

Its a pity Bill someone wasn't there to coach you in your earlier cricketing days...

http://images.smh.com.au/ftsmh/ffximage/2009/02/27/brad_haddin1_gallery__576x400.jpg

Here are my (Tips) for you to play the (Square Cut)...:neo:



Watch the Ball right out of the Bowlers hand...:yes4: Bit of a given that one really...:noidea:
Your then looking for a ball (short of a length) outside off-stump
Now the (Key) is then your footwork, weight transference & (Timing)
Whilst watching the ball start transferring your weight onto your backfoot (back & across) & get behind the ball
Now that your feet are in position, make sure you get your arms in a comfortable position to give you a free-flowing swing through the ball
With your right knee in a flexed position and with probably around (60-70%) of your weight on the backfoot then...
When your ready to hit the ball, then lean into the shot transferring your weight towards the ball and swing through the ball fully (whilst keeping your head still and eyes over the ball, your Core centred & strong throughout the entire shot) guiding/hitting the ball to wherever you want to place it with an open blade for the lofted shot or rolling your wrists over the ball to keep the shot along the ground...



See - (Easy-Peasy), even an 8 year-old knows that...:pound: :yo:

[Cidersomerset]

Ah Pan' I see you have a new opening partnership with Jack' !!

Two 'rugged Roo's' fending off the Pommy Jibes..
with the occasional boundry or two....LOL

Ashes 2013-14: Kevin Pietersen excited by 'special' 100th Test

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71130000/jpg/_71130797_pieterson_graphic_withstats_624.jpg
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/24807652

Another in a long line of South African, Englishman.....

http://www.gambling911.com/files/imagecache/slide_image/publisher/Kevin-Pietersen-Text-Scandal-081412L.jpg


Although I hope Andy Flower has confiscated Pietersons mobile...

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2009/1/8/1231454016886/Andy-Flower-001.jpg

Our Zimbabwean Englishman !!

====================================================

Ashes Cricket - Exclusive with Kevin Pietersen discussing his career & 100th Test


-G0MJ7eTtQw

Published on 18 Nov 2013


A fantastic insight into one of England's greatest, as Kevin Pietersen chats
exclusively to ecb.co.uk about his favourite moments, big innings, motivations and
the dreams he still has. The first Ashes Test at Brisbane will mark his 100th Test
match and is set to be a memorable occasion.

[Bill Ryan]

See - (Easy-Peasy), even an 8 year-old knows that...:pound: :yo:

I know all that, too! (I just could never do it right. :) )

I was pretty good with straight drives. And I used to bowl a little (both fast, and spin, both ways.) But in the end I took to playing squash -- and then rock climbing.

(When you're on a foot-wide ledge thousands of feet up with the rock a few inches from your nose, and you've got nothing coming at you fast (like a cricket ball from Thommo (http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06/17/article-2343145-0013AD4F00000258-262_306x368.jpg)!) you have as long as you like to carefully figure out what to do next. :) )


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-V8pVF2unHSM/UnuOykOXiLI/AAAAAAAAB50/73J2btCSGmU/s1600/RLleO.jpg

[Cidersomerset]

If all does go pear shaped down under Pieterson can always do a Goughy next year...


2005 Strictly champion.....
zr4yIWiV7Oo



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Darren Gough *HATTRICK* - Australia v England 5th test at SCG 1998/99
8rN_h667-CI

[Cidersomerset]

Or 2006 Champion Mark Ramprakesh .......


eGfLuQKS8Vo

-------------------------------------------------------------

Ramps did not have a lot of luck with the bat
against the Aussies ,but was good in the field...


OWwy9LX7MMQ

[Cidersomerset]

But not all cricketers can dance !!.....Great Judges comments..LOL

" So bad it was good " !!

from 2012 contest...
hpXL_mpc1d4


It makes me feel like getting my old dancing
shoes out and re joining " F Troop " in my old
Carnival gang..LOL

===================================================

But he could make some great moves with the bat !!

Michael Vaughan 183 Runs 2003 5th Test SCG

7WVQBk5wnPQ

[araucaria]

See - (Easy-Peasy), even an 8 year-old knows that...:pound: :yo:

I know all that, too! (I just could never do it right. :) )

I was pretty good with straight drives. And I used to bowl a little (both fast, and spin, both ways.) But in the end I took to playing squash -- and then rock climbing.

(When you're on a foot-wide ledge thousands of feet up with the rock a few inches from your nose, and you've got nothing coming at you fast (like a cricket ball from Thommo (http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06/17/article-2343145-0013AD4F00000258-262_306x368.jpg)!) you have as long as you like to carefully figure out what to do next. :) )


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-V8pVF2unHSM/UnuOykOXiLI/AAAAAAAAB50/73J2btCSGmU/s1600/RLleO.jpg
Yes, Bill, but do you never get stumped?

[varuna]

...oh really..this has put one off ones supper :)




That was the highlight of my brief cricketing career, as I chose to concentrate on 'Aussie Rules' footy instead...:noidea:

Bloody aerial ping pong...

Musta been all the sheila's that got ya wearin tha short-shorts and sportin a mullet eh? :mullet:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Tm0YtcRad8c/TdFQ6f2lMdI/AAAAAAAALXo/_VlZ2XTtyZE/s1600/mullet-hairstyles-Warwick-Capper-6386991.jpg

:pound:

[panopticon]

Since we're including South African ex-pats, how about Kepler Wessels first ever Test innings?

In the 1982 Ashes series he scored 162 on debut at the Gabba. Not a bad first innings from the young fella.

qG5mBOWONHM
-- Pan

[panopticon]

Just ta show that Aussie legends can act and sing and dance bettera than ewes poms.

One a Boonies classic acting roles:

rFGYcnBFxlw
Here's a beautiful rendition by Boonie of a classic song (this brings a tear to ma eye and shows why they didn't have his golden voice in many acting roles -- he didn't want to show off):

DDoows85cW4
Let us all face Launceston and pray...

Top bloke, top bloke. Dead set legend.

Watch out or Aunty Jack 'ill getya:

KnEOr1MgwTM
For those who don't know about The Aunty Jack Show, it was an Australian "children's" show in the 70's that featured an obese, transvestite, boxing glove wearing, Harley riding "Aunty" whose catch phrase was "I'll rip ya bloody arms off". It was and still is (IMO) a classic example of Aussie humour.

-- Pan :p

[jackovesk]

Ah Pan' I see you have a new opening partnership with Jack' !!

Two 'rugged Roo's' fending off the Pommy Jibes..
with the occasional boundry or two....LOL

Ashes 2013-14: Kevin Pietersen excited by 'special' 100th Test

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71130000/jpg/_71130797_pieterson_graphic_withstats_624.jpg
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/24807652

Another in a long line of South African, Englishman.....

http://www.gambling911.com/files/imagecache/slide_image/publisher/Kevin-Pietersen-Text-Scandal-081412L.jpg


Although I hope Andy Flower has confiscated Pietersons mobile...

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2009/1/8/1231454016886/Andy-Flower-001.jpg

Our Zimbabwean Englishman !!

====================================================

Ashes Cricket - Exclusive with Kevin Pietersen discussing his career & 100th Test


-G0MJ7eTtQw

Published on 18 Nov 2013


A fantastic insight into one of England's greatest, as Kevin Pietersen chats
exclusively to ecb.co.uk about his favourite moments, big innings, motivations and
the dreams he still has. The first Ashes Test at Brisbane will mark his 100th Test
match and is set to be a memorable occasion.

Trust old Kev, to start throwing a cat amongst the Pigeons before the 1st ball has even been bowled...:thumb:


Kevin Pietersen bags out 'boring' Brisbane via Twitter ahead of Ashes

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/national/kevin-pietersen-bags-out-boring-brisbane-via-twitter-ahead-of-ashes/story-fnii5v6u-1226762872291

"Research on Brisbane? I'd rather watch paint dry!'' he tweeted.

"No one has heard of Brisbane outside Oz.''

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/national/kevin-pietersen-bags-out-boring-brisbane-via-twitter-ahead-of-ashes/story-fnii5v6u-1226762872291

PS - Trouble is Kev, you've gotta (Back it Up) with the bat..!

But I do appreciate your (Feeding the MSM) a storm in a tea cup...:thumb:

Good work on (Stirring the Pot) and throwing in the 1st sledge...:)

[Cidersomerset]

Thanks Pan just put a call in to 'Cowly' to Check out his latest venture ,,,,,

'Aussies Got no Talent ' ....

http://www-deadline-com.vimg.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/ausgottalent__121031040712-200x116.jpg https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQiZbhhQL_7ZN2cRQjxJTBigPgTRdCAE1k4rBrNFB2yLIAo9xOZmQ



http://www.amikaufman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/simon-cowell.jpg



DDoows85cW4





Well some Talent ..LOL

G' Day Shiella ...

http://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/article-1334483297370-129ae92a000005dc-697177_636x300.jpg

[varuna]

....Great debate currently on BBC radio 5 live between Aussie/British commentators...lots of banter, mirrors our thread - great stuff.

May be able to listen to the podcast? not sure...http://www.bbc.co.uk/5live/on-air

[panopticon]

....Great debate currently on BBC radio 5 live between Aussie/British commentators...lots of banter, mirrors our thread - great stuff.

May be able to listen to the podcast? not sure...http://www.bbc.co.uk/5live/on-air

Thanks for the link Varuna.

I don't know if this will work but I'll try and link directly to the podcast that I think was the one you were talking about as it was really good natured and full of playful banter:

http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/5live/ashes/ashes_20131120-1018a.mp3
Source (http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/5live/ashes/ashes_20131120-1018a.mp3)

Oh and Steve, beware Aunty Jack's right hook. ;)

http://images.thevine.com.au/resources/images/000/157/157520_290109091940_TheAuntyJackShow.jpg

-- Pan

[varuna]

...thanks Panopticon...:)

....Great debate currently on BBC radio 5 live between Aussie/British commentators...lots of banter, mirrors our thread - great stuff.

May be able to listen to the podcast? not sure...http://www.bbc.co.uk/5live/on-air

Thanks for the link Varuna.

I don't know if this will work but I'll try and link directly to the podcast that I think was the one you were talking about as it was really good natured and full of playful banter:

http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/5live/ashes/ashes_20131120-1018a.mp3
Source (http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/5live/ashes/ashes_20131120-1018a.mp3)

Oh and Steve, beware Aunty Jack's right hook. ;)

http://images.thevine.com.au/resources/images/000/157/157520_290109091940_TheAuntyJackShow.jpg

-- Pan

[jackovesk]

Signing off now...:sleep:

A relaxing sleep for us Aussies...:)

A very nervous one for the Poms...:scared:

Nothing like firing the 'First Shot' across the bow...

As you (ALL) know, I'm not one to hold back on what I really think...

1 word immediately came to mind - The word (Stoic) & its a (Stoic Victory) we shall have...:yes4:

I will take absolute (PLEASURE) in watching the Aussies (CRUSH) the Poms, and revel in the thought of the (British Press) sticking the Boots into their own team upon their arrival home as (LOSERS)...

With the (Headline) reading...


OMG - What went so horribly (WRONG)..:scared:


Deep down even the English fans know they have already lost this series...:pound:

What a sight its going to be, watching the English (Implode) & (Crumble) beamed home (Live) to the UK as they start asking the questions they have (NO) answers for...

There ya go folks...

Nothing like (Setting up the Battle) & (Playing your cards Bare) for all to see...

Ok England the (Noose) is in place and the (Trapdoor) sprung and loaded, all we have to do is pull the :lever:

Its just going to be (Great) to watch...:becky:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emenZTfSXZQ

[varuna]

...time for a funny but nevertheless rousing version of Jerusalem!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fplXt7q8Iw4

[Bill Ryan]

-------

Hats off :yo::yo::yo::yo::yo: to everyone on this thread (even though I could only understand half of it!). Pretty soon now, we'll see what's really what.

Remember my prediction: a century opening partnership from Cook and Carberry as soon as England are in.

What we can all agree on is that we all hope the rain stays away.

And that all South Africans are **** ****** *** *******s.

:)

[Cidersomerset]

I can remember taking a can of Brut to school in
my sports bag for after a shower in the 1970's.
I thought they Stopped making it years ago....

They must have found an old container full in the
'Outback'.....


Oq2df8GBFwk

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Thanks Veruna I have taken my earplugs out...LOL

fplXt7q8Iw4


Not sure if you know how to U'tube, or not ?


Copy & paste this part of http:/ address

?v=fplXt7q8Iw4

press You tube icon
http://projectavalon.net/images/youtube.gif

[YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]

put http:/ address ..... ?v=fplXt7q8Iw4

in the middle of [YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE] brackets

and press save change.....

[YOUTUBE]?v=fplXt7q8Iw4[YOUTUBE]

Then hopefully you should get a U'tube ........

[Hazel]

The Ashes game begins in one hour....

may the best 'tosser' win the toss and may England fair badly in the all important 1st hour.... :peep:

[jackovesk]

Geezus that (bacon, sausages & eggs) for breakfast was excellent after waking up from a blissful restful sleep...:)

Had a intense Dream last night and all I will say is this...

It centered around England's worst (NIGHTMARE)...:scared:

PS - The Australian MSM has told the Australian public to ignore and not to :director: BOO (Stuart Broad)...:faint:

Fat lot of good that's going to do...:pound:

Give-Em (HEAPS) Australia...:yes4:

[panopticon]

I've got lightning and thunder down here in Tassie so looks like I'll be listenin' to the cricket taday.

Australia won the toss and decided ta bat.

Let's see what Rogers and Warner bring eh?

-- Pan

[jackovesk]

Australia (WINS) the toss and are Batting...:first:

Go (Davey Warner) Go...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[panopticon]

Rogers caught Bell bowled Broad for 1...
Aus: 1/12

-- Pan

[jackovesk]

:director: Stuart (BOOoooooooooooo) Broad's 1st ball...

A (No Ball) which Davey Warner (Smashes) over square leg for 4...:)

Its (ALL OVER) already England...:target:

[panopticon]

Watson caught Swann bowled Broad for 22 (just before lunch)...
Aus 2/71.

Lunch. :cheers:

Broad 2/30. :blink:
Warner 42 off 68 (6 x 4's). :whip:

As an aside we've got a(nother) flash flood warning down here. 4 inches in the last 8 hours and they reckon it's going to continue til Monday...

The thunder and lightning has only just finished (I think). :fish2:

-- Pan

[panopticon]

Back from Lunch 1st over...

Clarke caught Bell bowled Broad for 1.
Aus 3/73.

-- Pan

[Positive Vibe Merchant]

This is a bloddy farce! Broad is bowling extremely well, but the aussie batting line up is just terrible at the moment!

[panopticon]

Warner caught Pietersen bowled Broad for 49.
Aus 4/83.

Broad 4/38.

-- Pan

[panopticon]

Bailey caught Cook bowled Anderson for 3.
Aus 5/114.

Anderson 1/25.
Broad 4/42.

Drinks.

-- Pan

[panopticon]

Smith caught Cook bowled Tremlett for 31
Aus 6/135.

Anderson 1/25
Broad 4/46
Swann 0/27
Tremlett 1/35

-- Pan :sick:

[panopticon]

Well that's :tea:

Aus 6/153 (Haddin 24, Johnson 12).

Definitely England's day. :mmph::boxing:

[apokalypse]

Well that's :tea:

Aus 6/153 (Haddin 24, Johnson 12).



http://31.media.tumblr.com/066ef73810e782950bf20a84be891fd8/tumblr_mrmtrzzyRg1stk9xvo1_400.gif
must be in wrong timeline and in a dream..need to refocus going back to reality.

[varuna]

0549:
Aus 186-6 (Johnson 29, Haddin 40)
The TV camera picks out a man draped in a St George's flag, then hone in on some disgruntled looking Australia fans. A fitting pair of images to encapsulate the day so far.

:cool:

[panopticon]

Haddin just got to his 50 off 100 balls (4x4's, 1x6's).
Johnson: 45 off 105 balls (3x4's, 2x6's)

Aus 6/212.

-- Pan

[panopticon]

Johnson bowled Broad for 64.

Haddin/Johnson partnership: 114.

Aus 7/250.

Broad 5/63.

-- Pan

Update:

Siddle caught Cook bowled Anderson for 7.

Aus 8/268.

Anderson 2/59.

End of day:

Aus 8/273 off 90 overs.

Not a bad fight back from 6/132 earlier in the day (Thanks to Haddin & Johnson).

http://m5.paperblog.com/i/70/708515/a-dogs-tail-wags-may-reveal-more-than-you-thi-L-IJgdCq.jpeg

[Cidersomerset]

'G'day' Bruces & Shiellas.......

" Nice to see Ya" " To see ya nice "


Good start for the 'Poms',

Aussies still could reach 300 in morning....
Then its up to the bowlers, early days....


Australia 1st Innings In Play

View full scorecard
Rogers ...............c Bell b Broad............ 1
Warner ..............c Pietersen b Broad ...49
Watson ..............c Swann b Broad ......22
Clarke ...............c Bell b Broad ............1
Smith................ c Cook b Tremlett .....31
Bailey................ c Cook b Anderson .....3
Haddin.............. not out ................... 75 *
Johnson............ b Broad................... 64
Siddle ..............c Cook b Anderson...... 7
Harris ..............not out ..................... 4 *
Lyon To Bat

Extras 1nb 1w 11lb .........................13

Total for 8 273

' Off to work I go'...C U Late' ur's !!

[panopticon]

That pommie bloke had a good day didn't he.

5/65 is good by any standard.

Specially as the ball wasn't swinging...

Good stand-up innings from Haddin too, just he seems to be running out of partners...

-- Pan

[araucaria]

Oh dear, this wasn't supposed to happen: we seem to have an alternative media chappy, Bryan what's-his-name, making correct predictions :(

[Bill Ryan]

http://projectavalon.net/cricket/Stuart_Broad_21_Nov_2013.gif

:)

What's that you say, Jacko? Oh, wait a minute... Jacko hasn't said anything!

But... cool it, chaps: that was just Day One. 24 more to go........ :popcorn:

[Hazel]

Cheers all round chaps!

Still plenty of time for Jacko's dream to come true but...
Aye what...

:rolleyes:

[sian]

here's to the first round

23820

light refreshments all round chaps

[varuna]

...Well I really enjoyed the first days play, didn't manage to see it all, but loved what I did see...and how lovely that Broad responded they way he did, he actually turned the sledging and abuse to his advantage and fired himself up...and at the end of the day he walked walked into the press conference with a local paper tucked under his arm! love it. Australia fought back well and it's all set up for a fascinating second day....:rapture:

[Positive Vibe Merchant]

Warner going out on 49 was bad. I think if he hasd have got to 50 he could have made a ton. broad certainly stung us on the first day. Could be a bowlers pitch? :)

[jackovesk]

http://projectavalon.net/cricket/Stuart_Broad_21_Nov_2013.gif

:)

What's that you say, Jacko? Oh, wait a minute... Jacko hasn't said anything!

But... cool it, chaps: that was just Day One. 24 more to go........ :popcorn:

Day 1

Watson edges to slip just before lunch, that's how I'll remember Day 1...:faint:

As for Stuart (BOOoooo) Broad, talk about a (FLUKE). I've seen better bowlers at the GABBA McDonald's Carpark at 2am after the pub closes.

Day 2

Aussies to get past 300 runs, then its England turn to Bat

There will early wickets & late wickets due to the cloud cover & dense air to circles the GABBA an hour before stumps the day before a Storm...

PS - Ya see Bill, I'm a true blue Aussie who has (Hate the Poms) DNA rifling throughout my entire being that has a very limited capacity to say anything positive about the ENEMY...:mad2:

Here is my Aussie impersonation of the English Commentator 'Bumbles'...

Stuart (Bloody) Broard...! Who the hell is he...:confused:

PSS - You still (Won't) Win Bill...:nono:

[panopticon]

Australia all out for 295.

Captain Cook caught Haddin bowled Harris for 13.

Eng 1/28.

[panopticon]

In the last over before lunch...

Trott caught Haddin bowled Johnson for 10.

England 2/55.

Looks like a bowlers pitch.

[Bill Ryan]

Day 2
Aussies to get past 300 runs

Well, that didn't work!




Remember my prediction: a century opening partnership from Cook and Carberry as soon as England are in.

But that didn't work, either!

So you and I are about even... :)

Now, however, we have Carberry and Pietersen coming on after lunch. I'm definitely staying up for this one. Might just be 2 for 300 at the day's end...........

[mgray]

I have to say it's great to see this side of you Bill. On Avalon we only normally see a more stoic business-like demeanor. It's refreshing. Enjoy the matches.

[panopticon]

Pietersen caught Bailey bowled Harris for 18.

Eng 3/85.



Now, however, we have Carberry and Pietersen coming on after lunch. I'm definitely staying up for this one. Might just be 2 for 300 at the day's end...........
:flypig:
Not seeing 300 by the end of the day (unless they follow on) :llama:

[panopticon]

Cranberry caught Watson bowled Johnson for 40.

Eng 4/87.

[Bill Ryan]

Pietersen caught Bailey bowled Harris for 18.

Eng 3/85.



Now, however, we have Carberry and Pietersen coming on after lunch. I'm definitely staying up for this one. Might just be 2 for 300 at the day's end...........
:flypig:
Not seeing 300 by the end of the day (unless they follow on) :llama:


Laughing here. :)

(Carberry just out, too -- well bamboozled by the Aussies. I haven't got much else to laugh about!!)

Edit to add

And Bell just gone, too. OMG...

[panopticon]

Bell caught Smith bowled Lyon for 5.

Eng 5/87.

[panopticon]

Prior out first ball, caught Smith bowled Lyon for a Duck.

Eng 6/87.

Broad coming to bat to a resounding Booooo from the crowd.

[Bill Ryan]

Prior out first ball, caught Smith bowled Lyon for a Duck.

Eng 6/87.




That's it! I'm going to bed! :)

[Truthseeker85]

7/89 :D Go Aussies!!!

[panopticon]

Root caught Smith bowled Johnson for 2.

England 7/89.

5 wickets for 7 runs.

Tail to wag or follow-on (unless they can score 6...)

http://m5.paperblog.com/i/70/708515/a-dogs-tail-wags-may-reveal-more-than-you-thi-L-IJgdCq.jpeg

[panopticon]

Swann caught Bailey bowled Johnson for a Duck.

Eng 8/91.

5 runs to avoid follow-on...

6 wickets for 9...

[ponda]

Swan just got out for a...


http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/lol-duck.gif

[panopticon]

That's :tea:

Eng 8/94.

Harris 2/25.
Johnson 4/64.
Lyon 2/7.

[panopticon]

Well that's :tea:

Aus 6/153 (Haddin 24, Johnson 12).



http://31.media.tumblr.com/066ef73810e782950bf20a84be891fd8/tumblr_mrmtrzzyRg1stk9xvo1_400.gif
must be in wrong timeline and in a dream..need to refocus going back to reality.

Good refocusing apokalypse! :high5:

[panopticon]

England just avoided the follow-on and the barmy army go wild... :cheer2:

[jackovesk]

Pietersen caught Bailey bowled Harris for 18.

Eng 3/85.



Now, however, we have Carberry and Pietersen coming on after lunch. I'm definitely staying up for this one. Might just be 2 for 300 at the day's end...........
:flypig:
Not seeing 300 by the end of the day (unless they follow on) :llama:


Laughing here. :)

(Carberry just out, too -- well bamboozled by the Aussies. I haven't got much else to laugh about!!)

Edit to add

And Bell just gone, too. OMG...

Bad Luck - Bill...:)

Perhaps Ted Knight can help the English Team out...:noidea:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJPg1Fivmqg
PS - Trouble is Ted Knight holed his put, whereas can't say the same about the English batsmen...:pound:

Oh no (Bad Luck) Billy-Billy-Billy...:scared:

[panopticon]

Tremlett caught Lyon bowled Harris for 8.

England 9/110.

[panopticon]

Broad caught Rogers bowled Siddle for 36.

England all out for 136 trailing Aus by 159.

Harris 3/28.
Johnson 4/61.
Lyon 2/17.
Siddle 1/24.

Australia to bat.

[panopticon]

There ya go Bill, Australia's total is now 300...

:p

[jackovesk]

Hey Bill,

Does this remind you of England's (afternoon session) with the bat...? :yo:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73qK4j32iuo
:pound:

[olddragon]

Poor Bill. He really should of known better then to rely on the English cricket teem :o

[varuna]

...oh no..just woken up..or could it be I am still asleep and and having a bad dream! :eek:

[panopticon]

End of day: Australia 0/65

Rogers: 15
Warner: 45
Mr Leg: 5

Aus 1st innings: 295
Eng 1st innings: 136

Australia leading by 224.

[panopticon]

Well that was a deadset cracker of a day.
Bloody bonza effort from the Aussies.
Poms weren't even within cooee of the bastards.
That Johnson, buggar me sideways, he's no slouch and the rest of 'em ain't bloody drongoes neither.
That barmy army were in good voice right up 'til the arse fell out of the poms.
Then not a bo bloody peep.

I shall sleep the sleep of the just tonight.

Don't worry... It'll be alright in the long run...

T2T0vdfT1ps
No wuken furries mate.

-- Pan

[jackovesk]

Just (1) more for the road...:cheers:

For (ALL) you English cricket fans...:heh:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_AY6U5h8Fo:boom:

[Hazel]

Yoooooo hoooooooooo!!!

Go Aussies.. Go for dem' cold dusty Ashes and reinstate our cricket Mastery...

[jackovesk]

Day 2
Aussies to get past 300 runs

Well, that didn't work!




Remember my prediction: a century opening partnership from Cook and Carberry as soon as England are in.

But that didn't work, either!

So you and I are about even... :)

Now, however, we have Carberry and Pietersen coming on after lunch. I'm definitely staying up for this one. Might just be 2 for 300 at the day's end...........

Sorry Bill,

I'm a little hard of hearing...

What's that you said again...? :ear:))))))))))))))))))))))))

[araucaria]

Oh dear, this wasn't supposed to happen: we seem to have an alternative media chappy, Bryan what's-his-name, making correct predictions :(
That's more like it, failed by an order of magnitude: about par for the course, if I may mix a metaphor.

[Cidersomerset]

9CMmwVRAtaI


http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71272000/jpg/_71272109_71272108.jpg


England's fall of wickets
•1-28 (Cook 13)
•2-55 (Trott 10)
•3-82 (Pietersen 18)
•4-87 (Carberry 40)
•5-87 (Bell 5)
•6-87 (Prior 0)
•7-89 (Root 2)
•8-91 (Swann 0)
•9-110 (Tremlett 8)
•10-136 (Broad 32)


============================================


Its alright I'll find my right timeline in a bit !!

http://seanmalstrom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/doc-brown1.jpg?w=318&h=158


http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/1306701872chalkboardwhole_3558.jpg

[Bill Ryan]

Day 2
Aussies to get past 300 runs

Well, that didn't work!




Remember my prediction: a century opening partnership from Cook and Carberry as soon as England are in.

But that didn't work, either!

So you and I are about even... :)

Now, however, we have Carberry and Pietersen coming on after lunch. I'm definitely staying up for this one. Might just be 2 for 300 at the day's end...........

Sorry Bill,

I'm a little hard of hearing...

What's that you said again...? :ear:))))))))))))))))))))))))


Made me laugh. :)

It's the only thing that did! Just woke up in Ecuador after retiring to bed in disgust at 6/87.
Aaargh and OUCH! I feel like I've been hit on the helmet by Mitch Johnson.


*--> Bill tries to salvage a tiny bit of pride <--*

At least I was right about Carberry (sort of). When he got out for 40 after being roughed up by Johnson, three-quarters of an hour after starting to look really quite good, I never dreamed he'd be England's top scorer. (He looked like Bradman compared with the rest...)

[Cidersomerset]

' Boyc's ' sums up Englands basic failings on day 2..

"The batting was dreadful," a frustrated Geoffrey Boycott says.

Ashes 2013-14 audio: Geoffrey Boycott's verdict after day two of first Test

vfIe0ZsnoVE

[Cidersomerset]

" Ekcy Thump ! Our Geoffrey , say it how it is. The dour Yorkshire man in his element...

Beefy had a good rapport with Boyc's and when he had enough, he ran him out ! ..LOL


WAeFm22xB7Q

IAN BOTHAM RUNS OUT GEOFF BOYCOTT- 2nd test vs NZ 1978 Christchurch

Very Funny !!!!

[Bill Ryan]

-------

Bring back Boycott and Botham! (There's our answer...) :)


* A delightful anecdote for those with long memories. In the 74-75 Ashes series, Mike Denness, the England skipper, faced with huge problems, pulled England legend Colin Cowdrey out of retirement. Cowdrey was flown to Australia to face Lillee and Thomson -- not having played cricket for three years.

Aware of the dangers, Cowdrey padded himself up with as much foam rubber as he could fit under his clothing. When he met Thomson, Cowdrey, ever the perfect gentlemen, greeted Thommo:

"Mr Thomson, I believe? How good to meet you."

Jeff Thomson, ever the Aussie, replied:

"That's not going to help you, fatso. Piss off."

[Cidersomerset]

Boyc's would say ' My granny could bat better than that ' !



Dickie Bird on Geoffrey Boycott

1J90x9xRf24


Bring back Boycott and Botham! (There's our answer...)



Even the great Yokshire 'Bard with a bat' himself could make a cock up....

Against the Aussies of all people..LOL

Rwuo4RZRjDU

[Cidersomerset]

The best thing after a Day like today is have a laugh about it.....

1DEOFvcCjeI

--------------------------------------------------

Nyat96CCyac

-------------------------------------------------

Breakfast with Benaud

ED5V0_JThEk

[varuna]

Good evening Cidersomset, Bill and our Aussie friends...you beat me to it as I was just about post some funny vids to cheer us up:)...It's early days and I'm still optimistic that England are going to do well...but even if they don't we are still going to see some great cricket. A poem

Fast Spin

When we were boys and striding to the wicket,
Learning life while we were playing cricket,
“The bowling good?” we’d ask as we went in;
Departing batsmen scowled & said, "Fast spin".

Two dreaded words to cause a youngster’s heart
To lose all confidence before the start.
What use technique or grim determination?
Who could survive such awesome combination?

We learned that speed faced up to seems less daunting;
That spin is nothing if the length is wanting;
That some the obstacles will overstate,
While runs come gradually to those who wait.

And later, in life’s seventy over match,
When adversaries threaten to dispatch
Our hopes and dreams before they can begin
Those childhood words come back to us - "Fast spin".

By Arthur Salway






The best thing after a Day like today is have a laugh about it.....

1DEOFvcCjeI

--------------------------------------------------

Nyat96CCyac

-------------------------------------------------

Breakfast with Benaud

ED5V0_JThEk

[panopticon]

-------

Bring back Boycott and Botham! (There's our answer...) :)

* A delightful anecdote for those with long memories. In the 74-75 Ashes series, Mike Denness, the England skipper, faced with huge problems, pulled England legend Colin Cowdrey out of retirement. Cowdrey was flown to Australia to face Lillee and Thomson -- not having played cricket for three years.

Aware of the dangers, Cowdrey padded himself up with as much foam rubber as he could fit under his clothing. When he met Thomson, Cowdrey, ever the perfect gentlemen, greeted Thommo:

"Mr Thomson, I believe? How good to meet you."

Jeff Thomson, ever the Aussie, replied:

"That's not going to help you, fatso. Piss off."

Here's the man himself relating the tale:

Q3qStY_MOnY
Thommo talking about some of his fastest:

cCjA2zo97VI
While he caused carnage then he'll have a beer with 'em on his boat now.

g7dQ3UABXJk
Deadset Aussie legend.

-- Pan

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Rogers caught Carberry bowled Broad for 16.

Aus 1/67.

Still a bowlers pitch despite the showers over night.

[panopticon]

Watson caught Broad bowled Tremlett for 6.

Aus 2/75.

[panopticon]

Warner just got his 50 off 73 balls in 142 minutes.

Rain stops play.

Covers off and there's no rain on the radar atm so goodo.

15 mins lost play.

[panopticon]

Australia 2nd innings just passed the England 1st innings.

Only difference is 8 wickets...

Aus 2/144.

Australia leads England by 303.

Warner 83.
Clarke 34.

[panopticon]

And that's Lunch. :cantina:

Australia 2/145 leads England by 304.

Warner 83.
Clarke 34.

Anderson 0/29.
That pommie fella 1/27.
Tremlett 1/34.
Swann 0/44.
Root 0/5.

Time for some piri-piri whatsit for the poms and a chicken sango for the Aussies (cept Siddle whose chewin' on some of the outfield clippings).

The poms have been trying ta sledge the Aussies but just ain't got the hang of it...

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f169/wildkiwi21/sledging.jpg

:rofl:

[jackovesk]

Ok enough of this banter, let the (Real Stuff) begin...

My thoughts on (WHY?) I believe we can bring the ASHES back to their rightful resting place...

Thu 21 Nov 2013 Australia vs England - Ashes - 1st Test

http://media.ticketmaster.com/tm/en-au/dbimages/144980a.png

Let's start with the English team...

England Ashes squad:




1. Alastair Cook, (Makes runs down here consistently, but his biggest weakness is his Captaincy)

2. Joe Root, (Over-Rated) will struggle down-under (Arrogant - Flash in the Pan)

3. Jonathan Trott, (Over-Rated) Aussies have finally worked out he doesn't like the 'Short-Ball' and will be violently 'Exposed' on our bouncy wickets)

4. Kevin Pietersen, Great player, dogged by inconsistency. Generally stands up down-under)

5. Ian Bell, England's (Best-In Form) Batsmen, once labeled the 'Sherminator' by Shane Warne. If he doesn't perform, England are in 'Big-Trouble!

6. Jonny Bairstow, What a 'Joke' he's just not good enough. (Period!)

7. Matt Prior, Great wicket keeper, but like Trott he's susceptable to the 'Short-Ball'

8. Stuart Broad, Not a fan, but respect his work ethic and his ability to get wickets

9. Graeme Swann, Great Spinner, but the PTB please 'STOP' comparing him to Warney (Chalk & Cheese) Warnies the 'Best' by a mile!

10. James Anderson, What a 'Bowler' one that Aussies 'Love to HATE'

11. Steven Finn, Could surprise but I doubt it!

12. Boyd Rankin ?

13. Monty Panesar, :pound:


Australian Ashes squad:




1. Chris Rogers - Battler who has now (Earnt his Spot) never gives in

2. David Warner - What a 'STAR', this series you (WILL) see him at his best

3. Shane Watson - When he's opening and 'inform' LOOKOUT..!

4. Michael Clarke - Record speaks for itself (Attacking Captain who is Streaks ahead of Alistair Cook)

5. Brad Haddin - Our purest stroker of the willow who will be better off after the last series and always makes 'Big Runs' at crucial times

6. Peter Siddle - Known solid performer (Crucial) to our success

7. Ryan Harris - plagued by injury (The World is yet to see the Best of him)

8. Jackson Bird - Australia's most (Under-Rated) bowler, due to injury and lack of opportunity

9. Ed Cowen - Has had more than enough opportunities, wilts under pressure getting out more often than not on stupid shot selection - Not Good Enough!

10. Phil Hughes - Battled an overcame his technique to reinstate himself back into the side, tough competitor who deserves his spot...

11. Usman Khawaja - ACB have given this guy more chances than most (Has to perform in this Series) or he risks never to wear the 'Baggy-Green' again!

12. James Pattinson - Bowling in England with (Stress Fractures) in his back, if fit? Watch out England!

13. Mitchell Starc, (What a GUN) Definitely haven't seen the best of him...:nono: If we do? Its (Goodnight Irene)...:yes4:

14. Matthew Wade, solid wicketkeeper may get a start in the middle order

15. Mitch Johnson is (In Form) and selected for the 1st Test at the GABBA. This is his last chance and he (Won't) disappoint...:nono:


Newbies




1. James Faulkner our (New)All-rounder...(Secret Weapon) This kid is a (Winner) and one of our toughest (Competitors) Will play & (WILL) Star - England don't have and never will have an answer for this kid, he's simply way too good to quell...


Well there you have it, my take on both Teams, now for the summation...

Summary

Why do I think the Aussies will (Win-back) the Ashes in Nov 2013..?

Bullet Points



We have the Best (Coach - Darren Lehman) by a proverbial mile
We have the Best Captain
Mitchell Starc to (Fire)
The (Fat-Lady) has already started to sing for some of our Batsmen and its their (Last Chance)..!
Davey Warner poised to have his best (Series) ever
Jackson Bird - If fit, bowls a straight, good consistent line & has the ability to move the ball late (Will surprise) if he gets the call up
All our Batsmen are (Due)
James Faulkner is a (Match-Winner) and will prove that this Series


England's lineup is getting a little too old, and the youngsters they are bringing in are simply (Over-Rated) and have never really been put to the test under the tough Australian conditions...

Australia on the other hand is still in the (Re-building) phase and are hurting after our successive losses and will be (Desperate) for Pay-Back...

Our youngsters compliment our Team, not hinder it & will be looking to impress and (more Importantly) they are (only) brought into the side when they are (In-Form)...

Aussies will play it down and label themselves the (Underdogs) and we just love to (Beat the Poms) as most know and that's (EXACTLY) how it will play out starting next week...:yes4:

Regards,

Jack

Bill, you could have saved yourself from 'Humiliation' if you just read this in the 1st place...:noidea:

Confucius Said...




"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand."

"Study the past, if you would divine the future."


...and


"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance."

...and Finally a (Tip) from Confucius to you Bill...:yo:


"We should feel sorrow, but not sink under its oppression."

PS - Good-luck with the last one mate...:)

[panopticon]

Warner 124 off 154 balls.
Clarke 113 off 130.
Haddin 53 off 55.

Aus 2nd Innings 7/401.

Australia declared.

Australia leads England by 560.

[Cidersomerset]

Australia: 295 & 395-6 (93.0 overs)
England: 136 (52.4 overs)
Venue: Brisbane
Australia 2nd InningsIn Play

View full scorecard
Rogers c ..........Carberry b Broad 16
Warner c .........Prior b Broad 124
Watson c .........Broad b Tremlett 6
Clarke b......... Swann 113
Smith c ..........Prior b Tremlett 0
Bailey ...........b Swann 34
Haddin ..........c Anderson b Tremlett 53
Johnson ........not out 39
Siddle ...........not out 4
Extras 4b 8lb 12
Total for 7 401



OH DEAR !!! Only hope is they' Carry on Batting' and forget to Bowl again ..LOL

http://rlv.zcache.co.uk/keep_calm_and_carry_on_film_theme_mousemats-r83e948989dfa41b5aaae7e1022abb8bc_x74vi_8byvr_512.jpg


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh B....r They have just Declared 541 ahead !!

[panopticon]

Oh B....r They have just Declared 541 ahead !!

Worse than that Steve.

England require 561 to win...

[Cidersomerset]

Quote Posted by Cidersomerset (here)
Oh B....r They have just Declared 541 ahead !!
Worse than that Steve.

England require 561 to win...

I'm off to work, it might look better Tommorrow ...LOL

http://www.rigsofrods.com/images/imported/2013/04/pigsGPNG-1.png

[panopticon]

Carberry bowled Harris for a duck!

Carberry played on.

Eng 1/1.

Mr Leg 1.

[panopticon]

Trott caught Lyons bowled Johnson for 9.

Eng 2/10.

[panopticon]

That's stumps.

England 2/24, requires 537 to win.

Harris 1 for 7 runs.
Johnson 1 for 7.
Siddle 0 for 6.
Lyon 0 for 3.

Another reasonable day for the Aussies. ;)

-- Pan

[Jean-Luc]

Cricket definitely seems just as incomprehensible as the Simon's story.

Or perhaps it's just me.




I would think is very usefull to Avalon members if there was to be an audio with Bill, perhaps if enough people request it, it will happen.
All the best,
Simon

Hopefully Bill is reading this, but in case not, an email to Bill by others reading this thread may be appropriate. I am hungry for more quality info!


Thank you Karelia,
and thank you Bill for agreeing.
(...)
Simon.

[panopticon]

Cricket definitely seems just as incomprehensible as the Simon's story.
Or perhaps it's just me.


It's just you. :drama:

-- Pan

[ponda]

Jeun-Luc said

Cricket definitely seems just as incomprehensible as the Simon's story.


Cricket Explained

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

;)

[araucaria]

I think this belongs to the Please Report Psychic Attacks thread :)

[panopticon]

So, will the poms be able to hang on?

They only have to get 537 runs in 2 days for victory...
Will they pray to their rain gods for assistance? :rain:

This ain't over yet folks and it's only the first test! :photo:

Johnson and Harris have been bowling some bloody good overs.
Johnson's also been getting into the mid-140k/hr range consistently. :flame:

Captain Cook and Pietersen might settle in tomorrow and there's still Bell, Root, Prior and that other pommie bloke!

Don't forget that it's Siddle's 29th birthday on Monday...

This could be a very interesting couple of days!

I'm looking forward to it. :happy:
What happened to the pommie dunny cork spirit? That never say die attitude? :plane:

Feels like all the get up and go, got up and left! :bolt:

As Boycott said:


England have an 82-page booklet on what to eat but one guy comes in and bowls at 90mph and they can't handle it.

Cum on, ava go ya mugs! :boxing:

Stop flappin' around like a bunch of galah's.

http://cache.pakistantoday.com.pk/2013/07/Ashes-480x238.jpg

;)

[panopticon]

Jeun-Luc said

Cricket definitely seems just as incomprehensible as the Simon's story.


Cricket Explained

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

;)

Hope that clears it up for Poirot there. :p
Certainly as clear as mud!

:pound:

[varuna]

....Could Trott be coming to the end of his England career....just when we need him!!!!

some thoughts from Johnathan Agnew

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25065733

Ashes 2013-14: Jonathan Trott's troubles a worry for England

Another hugely disappointing day for England ended with further evidence that Jonathan Trott's game is in a mess.
Called on to help steer England through to the close after an Australia declaration left England a target of 561, he once again got out to a dreadful shot as he was caught at deep square leg off Mitchell Johnson.
The tourists ended the third day on 24-2, a monumental 537 runs behind Australia, and almost certainly on course for a heavy defeat.
For so long, Trott has been the epitome of reliability for England - the foundation stone upon which many of their best batting displays were built.
Analysis
Image of Michael Vaughan
Michael Vaughan
Ex-England captain & Test Match Special summariser
"I'm afraid Jonathan Trott has got to ask himself many questions. That was as bad an innings as I have seen from an England number three. He is all over the oche. For the first time in his career there is a big question mark over him."

But his game began to unravel over the English summer and he now looks a pale imitation of the player whose unbeaten hundred on this very ground four years ago, in a record-breaking partnership with Alastair Cook, helped England save the Test and sapped the life out of the Australia attack.
I interviewed him before the warm-up game in Hobart and he was talking about how hard he had worked to sort out his technique. He had been on a short holiday after the season at home and then gone straight to the nets to get his game in order.
Well, he clearly didn't spend enough time working on a method against left-arm pace bowlers because he simply doesn't have a clue against Johnson at the moment.
As soon as the Queenslander comes on to bowl, Trott seems to go into a nervous, skittish mode. He completely loses where he is on the crease and his head is so far away from the line of the ball.

[sian]

:plane::cheers: and they call footy the beautiful game, :suspicious: reckon they were quite wrong :yes4:

mArXWQVir1M

_BjfkV7xZg0

[jackovesk]

Poms have 'scared eyes', says Warner

http://www.couriermail.com.au/sport/cricket/centurymaking-australian-batsman-david-warner-says-englands-jonathon-trott-is-a-weakness/story-fnii0bxd-1226766894940

:shocked::unsure::shocked:...:scared:

[Cidersomerset]

'Cricket break'......

I posted this article a couple months ago, but no one
noticed or ignored it...LOL


'Fair Dinkum Aussie' .......Merv 'Blobfish' Hughes wins ugliest animal vote......"Whatcha Shielas " .........


http://images.supersport.com/2013/10/MervHughes131028CelebratesG300.jpg



epiKehes9-o


Blobfish wins ugliest animal voteBy Victoria Gill


Science reporter, BBC News

Blobfish (c) Rex Features/Greenpeace The blobfish has topped a list of some very
strange-looking creatures that all "need help"

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/69786000/jpg/_69786238_69786233.jpg

http://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article1942414.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Shane-Warnes-Australia-vs-Michael-Vaughans-England-T20-match-1942414.jpg


The grumpy-looking, gelatinous blobfish has won a public vote to become the official
mascot of the Ugly Animal Preservation Society.

This gives the fish the unofficial title of world's ugliest animal.

The society began as a science-themed comedy night and devised its mascot campaign
to draw attention to "aesthetically challenged" threatened species.

The winner was announced at the British Science Festival in Newcastle.

The blobfish tops a list that includes the huge-nosed proboscis monkey, the similarly
afflicted pig-nosed turtle, an amphibian affectionately known as a "scrotum frog" and
pubic lice.

Biologist and TV presenter Simon Watt, president of the Ugly Animal Preservation
Society, said he hoped the campaign would draw attention to the threats facing these
weird and wonderful creatures. In the 1988 BBC One programme Odd Noses of Borneo,
Sir David Attenborough addresses the question of exactly why the endangered proboscis
monkey has such an oversized nose

"Our traditional approach to conservation is egotistical," he told BBC News.

"We only protect the animals that we relate to because they're cute, like pandas.

"If extinction threats are as bad as they seem, then focusing just on very charismatic
megafauna is completely missing the point.

"I have nothing against pandas," he added, "but they have their supporters. These
species need help."

'What died today?'

Mr Watt said he hoped the vote would also bring a lighter side to conservation.

"It's the most depressing type of science to be involved with," he said. "It's basically
working out: What died today?"

For this campaign, Mr Watt worked with comedians, each of whom created a campaign
message on YouTube for their chosen creature. The society asked the public to vote for
their favourite.

Axolotl (c) Lauren DiPerna The axolotl remains in a perpetual juvenile state and can
regrow severed limbs

The blobfish eventually won by almost 10,000 votes.

The bizarre creature lives off the coast of south-eastern Australia and Tasmania, at
depths of between 600 and 1,200m, where atmospheric pressure is several dozen times
higher than at sea level. Its gelatinous body is just slightly more dense than water, and
it spends its life "bobbing around" in the depths.

It feeds on crabs and lobsters and so suffers a significant threat from fishing trawlers.
Although it is inedible itself, it gets caught up in the nets.

Titicaca water frog (c) Kikkerdirk The Titicaca scrotum frog's skin folds help it to breathe
in its lake habitat Other animals on the shortlist face similar threats to their habitats
and Mr Watt hopes that this campaign will highlight the fact that conservation should
focus on the protection of habitats rather than specific species.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-24040130

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?63302-Fair-Dinkum-Aussie-.......Blobfish-wins-ugliest-animal-vote......-Whatcha-Shielas-.........&p=729377#post729377

http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Merv+Hughes+Shane+Warne+Australia+vs+Michael+dMALTArWmxSx.jpg

Merv Doing the 'Hacker' !!

===================================================

Merv's impression of the 'Suger Plump Fairy'.......


http://www.espncricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/159200/159239.jpg

[sian]

Poms have 'scared eyes', says Warner

http://www.couriermail.com.au/sport/cricket/centurymaking-australian-batsman-david-warner-says-englands-jonathon-trott-is-a-weakness/story-fnii0bxd-1226766894940

:shocked::unsure::shocked:...:scared:

OUCH Jack.:faint:

we may need more prayer mats lads.:pray:

[Nasu]

[QUOTE]Jeun-Luc said

Cricket definitely seems just as incomprehensible as the Simon's story.


Cricket Explained

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

;)[/

Well said.. It's so easy, as sports go it's quite strait forward really.... N

[panopticon]

WTF is going on?

The Wallabies beat Scotland 21-15 making it 3 in a row. Wales next weekend.
The Kangaroos beat Fiji 64-0 and, with the Kiwi's beating England 20-18, it's all set for an exciting antipodean final next weekend.

:yo:

[Cidersomerset]

WTF is going on?

The Wallabies beat Scotland 21-15 making it 3 in a row. Wales next weekend.
The Kangaroos beat Fiji 64-0 and, with the Kiwi's beating England 20-18, it's all set for an exciting antipodean final next weekend.

I know the worlds turned upside down....

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/neuroskeptic/files/2010/07/worldturnedupside.jpg

[panopticon]

I know the worlds turned upside down....


Oi! Wrong map! Get it bloody right!
Don't put south bloody africa in the centre... :scared:

http://richardnilsendotcom1.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/upsidedownworld.jpg

;)

[jackovesk]

What's that Scotty..?

http://movieactors.com/freezes1/Trek-SpaceSeed5.jpeg

Where's Bill..?

http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media/images/200307/spock01/320x240.jpg

You mean Bill Ryan...?

http://movieactors.com/freezes1/Trek-SpaceSeed5.jpeg

Yes...

http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media/images/200307/spock01/320x240.jpg

:noidea: Do you know where he went Captain..?

http://content9.flixster.com/question/63/39/40/6339403_std.jpg

Spock over here, I think I've found him...

http://i1286.photobucket.com/albums/a615/tiptuk/Anime%20Gif%20Hoard/bth_tumblr_m8mdiiJtmi1qc3plfo4_r1_500_zpsc261bce9.gif

Spock I think he's gone (Stark-Raving-Mad)..!

What's the diagnosis..?

http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media/images/200307/spock01/320x240.jpg

He has a serious case of (EnglishCricketitis), unfortunately for Bill and every other English Cricket Fan its (Incurable & Terminal)...:)

[sian]

WTF is going on?

The Wallabies beat Scotland 21-15 making it 3 in a row. Wales next weekend.
The Kangaroos beat Fiji 64-0 and, with the Kiwi's beating England 20-18, it's all set for an exciting antipodean final next weekend.

:yo:

:clock: LADS, this indicates inside information, Aussie world take over pole shift imminent:crazy_pilot:

[panopticon]

Pietersen caught Sabburg bowled Johnson for 26.

Eng 3/72.

[Cidersomerset]

Kerry's insider information said the Aussie bowlers were still nobbled and
Clarke & Warner were under MK Ultra......


OH WHY !! You said if I put up this thread we would win the series ******* Bleep !!

http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/yelling-god-mountain-4232692.jpg


Nope, I'm busy !! Scotty....

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/pancaketom/pancaketom0809/pancaketom080900287/3616820-a-man-sitting-on-a-ledge-at-bright-angel-point-looks-over-the-north-rim-of-the-grand-canyon-arizona.jpg

[Bill Ryan]

-------

Hi, Folks -- just got back to discover the morning's score (at lunch, Day 4). Been helping a friend move house. All very depressing (the cricket, that is). Can't even think of any new jokes. :)

Jacko, you were right with your player analysis! That's the second thing you wrote that impressed me this week. This afternoon will see whether Cook and Bell can restore a little self-respect to the England team. They're both still good players, and all Aussie cricketers know this.

You probably all know this as well, but in England all the cricket commentators pretty much have their heads in their hands. No excuses, except that Carberry was just a little unlucky in his second innings: see below.

I still think the series will be close: 2-1 to one team or the other. As many have pointed out, you don't become a bad team overnight. Trott has major problems, and Johnson bowled very well, but even the most hardened Aussie might agree that Carberry was a little unlucky to get himself out the way he did. He will still perform in this series.

We'll see. This is Day 4. 21 more to go.

:)

[panopticon]

Bell caught Haddin bowled Siddle for 32.

Eng 4/130.

[panopticon]

And the Barmy Army show their colours...

Cheering rain? Come on!

Send in The Mervinator...

http://www.mycricketgame.com/images/merv-hughes.jpg

England 4/142 requiring 419 to win.

[panopticon]

And they're back from the rain.

Cook caught Haddin bowled Lyon for 65.

Eng 5/142.

[panopticon]

Prior caught Warner bowled Lyon for 4.

Eng 6/146

That pommie fella ta bat. Reckon a couple of short pitched deliveries on the way.

[panopticon]

Broad caught Haddin bowled Johnson for 4.

Eng 7/151.

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Swann caught Smith bowled Johnson for a duck.

Eng 8/151.

4 wickets since the rain break (21 balls).

[panopticon]

Will the poms beat Australia's first innings of 295?

[panopticon]

Rain has stopped play and it looks like that's it for today.

Root not out 15.
Tremlett not out 1.

Eng 8/160 requiring 401 to win...

BTW the poms total is 296, one over the Aussie first innings score of 295...

Bring on a lovely sunny day tomorrow.

Been a long time since the Aussie cricketers had a good win.

It couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of blokes. :cool:

[panopticon]

NO! That's not it for today!

They reckon it's gonna be back on in 15 minutes! :llama::roll:

[panopticon]

Tremlett caught Bailey bowled Harris 7.

Eng 9/172.

[panopticon]

Anderson caught & bowled Johnson 2.

England all out for 179.

Final score:
Australia 696
England 315

[araucaria]

I think this belongs to the Please Report Psychic Attacks thread :)
Definitely not to the Sentenced to a Slow Death thread anyway, that's for sure.

Edit: not making fun of that thread: au contraire, you need to check it out.

[panopticon]

Definitely not to the Sentenced to a Slow Death thread anyway, that's for sure.


Don't worry Araucaria, the poms are all shell shocked.
They were expecting a 5-0 whitewash but things haven't worked out that way.
Fortress Gabba is still intact and Australia is leading 1-0.
Next Test is in Adelaide from the 5th to the 9th of December.
Long way to go yet me ol' salts, long way to go yet.

-- Pan

[Bill Ryan]

-------

OUCH again!

http://projectavalon.net/cricket/21_more_to_go.gif

[Cidersomerset]

https://www.dominie.com.au/attachments/Product/15702/SUN-SCT002.jpg?ts=1284512933


Hava a Pint...

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/3/24/1269444997929/Pint-of-cider-001.jpg


Or 10..........

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTzcREqyWy28u2tcUJVI7BC842ypsdu4Xh2RUy4hNtMEGYD6haSdQ

[araucaria]

Definitely not to the Sentenced to a Slow Death thread anyway, that's for sure.


Don't worry Araucaria, the poms are all shell shocked.
They were expecting a 5-0 whitewash but things haven't worked out that way.
Fortress Gabba is still intact and Australia is leading 1-0.
Next Test is in Adelaide from the 5th to the 9th of December.
Long way to go yet me ol' salts, long way to go yet.

-- Pan
No worries here thank you, I'm just enjoying my ringside view of this wrestling match, with the guy who has just been soundly thrashed getting up and beating the living daylights out of his tormentor.

What has this got to do with Avalon, I ask myself? I see from Bill's post that the poms are experiencing missing time, a one-day gap in their schedule. Must be an alien abduction turned nasty.

[panopticon]

In Oz there's a big beat-up over Clarke havin' a go at Anderson.

Here's what it's all about (0:44):

ISwtWqQ35SI
There's been bad words between Anderson and Clarke before but this was all about Anderson trying to slow play down. He was farting around and went and had a word to Bailey (no idea what was said but I assume it wasn't being pleasant). Then Anderson went back and started buggarising around again. Before the sledge Anderson and Clarke are talking and then Anderson says 'I'm fkn quite happy to' which places Clarke's following sledge in context and was followed by Anderson saying 'I shall be waiting'. Then Clarke says something like 'now go and bat' but it's not fully audible.

The media hype about it is just political correctness gone mad.

If the sledge hadn't been heard then it would have been reported that heated words were spoken with Clarke telling Anderson to get on with it.

Here's the slowed audio I did of the audible exchange (*warning* has course language so don't play near children):

http://apanopticview.drivehq.com/misc/AndersonVsClarke.mp3

As I said, the media loves it's little dramas.

-- Pan

[ponda]

panopticon said:

Next Test is in Adelaide from the 5th to the 9th of December.

The Adelaide wicket should be more to England's liking.Not as much bounce as the Gabba and more batsman friendly.Should be interesting how England comes back and if the Aussies can maintain some form.

cheers

[jackovesk]

-------

OUCH again!

http://projectavalon.net/cricket/21_more_to_go.gif


-------

OUCH again!

http://projectavalon.net/cricket/21_more_to_go.gif

Had to Laugh...:pound:


"You don't become a Bad Team overnight."

Well er um (England) sure has...:yes4:

Bloated, Arrogant, Egotistical, Players past their (Used by dates), Poor Captaincy, should I go on...:noidea:

I commend you Bill for your (Wishful Thinking)

...However the (Harsh Reality) is...

England are Finished, Washed up bunch of Has Beens & Not Good Enough's...:yes4:

Welcome to the (Rebuilding Phase) 10 Year Plan Bill...:faint:

PS - Aussie cricket fans will never forget the (Arrogance) shown by the English side after they finally won back the Ashes after a 17 year drought & I might add that Arrogance has not waned since...

PSS - So Bill, can I suggest you have a chat with your (Team) and tell them to cease immediately and concentrate on what matters most and that's to (Win) cricket matches without the Arrogance & Fanfair

PSS - I don't think it will work though, due to the English Side being a) Not Good Enough and b) Too Arrogant for their limited ability...

First Test - Australia :first:

[jackovesk]

In Oz there's a big beat-up over Clarke havin' a go at Anderson.

Here's what it's all about (0:44):

ISwtWqQ35SI
There's been bad words between Anderson and Clarke before but this was all about Anderson trying to slow play down. He was farting around and went and had a word to Bailey (no idea what was said but I assume it wasn't being pleasant). Then Anderson went back and started buggarising around again. Before the sledge Anderson and Clarke are talking and then Anderson says 'I'm fkn quite happy to' which places Clarke's following sledge in context and was followed by Anderson saying 'I shall be waiting'. Then Clarke says something like 'now go and bat' but it's not fully audible.

The media hype about it is just political correctness gone mad.

If the sledge hadn't been heard then it would have been reported that heated words were spoken with Clarke telling Anderson to get on with it.

Here's the slowed audio I did of the audible exchange (*warning* has course language so don't play near children):

http://apanopticview.drivehq.com/misc/AndersonVsClarke.mp3

As I said, the media loves it's little dramas.

-- Pan

This is the (Arrogance) of the English Cricket Team I was speaking of...:yes4:

On the (Ropes) trying anything they could, to delay the inevitable...

I'm with (Clarkey) on this one...:yes4:

PS - Message to the English Side

If you're that Good, just get on with it and (PROVE IT)...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :crazy:

[Referee]

Three Lions on My chest....

[jackovesk]

Clarke to be (CHARGED) over Sledge: report

Mon Nov 25 2013

http://content5.video.news.com.au/NDM_CP_-_Fox_Sports/261/176/DVU_241113_CRI_CLARKE_GIVING_IT_TO_ANDERSON_PKG.jpg

Michael Clarke is reportedly set to be charged for his vicious on-field sledge to England rival James Anderson.

Clarke was heard on stump cam telling England's serial niggler to "get ready for a broken f***ing arm" at the crease before Australia claimed a stunning 381-run Test victory at the Gabba.

According to a News Limited report, Clarke will be charged with a level one code of conduct breach and be fined 20% of his match fee.

Clarke believed it was just their competitive natures taking hold - not Australia's bitterness over England's 3-0 win sealed last August that clinched three straight Ashes series victories.

"I think it is because both teams want to win so badly," Clarke said of the extraordinary first Test niggle at the Gabba.

"I respect that there is a line and both teams shouldn't overstep that line.

"I think the rivalry and the banter on the field, it is give and take both ways. It is not one team dictating the other.

"It is about when you have momentum, run with it for as long as you possibly can.

"And when you don't, fight your backside off to try and get it back.

"In this Test match, we have grabbed the moment and tried to run with it for as long as possible."

Still, Australia raised eyebrows with their conduct during the fourth day's play of the Ashes opener.

No shrinking violet, Anderson still appeared upset when he felt the full brunt of Australia's Ashes frustration via Test debutant George Bailey's jibes at short leg once he took the crease late on Sunday.

Umpires intervened but it failed to stop the floodgates opening with Clarke taking Anderson to task not once but twice late on day four as the mind games kicked in.

In the end, Clarke felt Australia had shown they were up for an Ashes fight this summer against England.

"For someone like Davey Warner or Mitch Johnson or Watto (Shane Watson), they really love that competitive battle," Clarke said.

"The opposition talking to them or having a crack back at the opposition - that is what drives them.

"I think Jimmy Anderson has made it clear that he likes that battle as well.

"Fortunately for us, we have had a bit of success in this Test match but, come day one at Adelaide (in the second Test), it means nothing.

"We know it is going to be tough cricket."

The day four sledging followed on from the previous night's press conference, where Australian opener David Warner described England's players as batting with "scared eyes" and accusing rival Jonathan Trott of being "weak".

England captain Alastair Cook hit back and said Warner was "disrespectful", but wouldn't comment on whether the ICC should intervene.

Clarke told a reporter he "must have great ears" when his sledge to Anderson was repeated, but didn't deny the comment was made.

"I still believe there is a very good mutual respect off the field. I can only talk from the Australian team. I have the utmost respect for their team," Clarke said.

The series is a long way from over, but only twice before has a side won the first Test in Brisbane and not gone on to claim the Ashes.

After Johnson and the Australians decimated England with 6-9 in the first innings, it was deja vu in the final session on day four.

Second innings centurions David Warner and Michael Clarke were considered, but Johnson was an overwhelming man-of-the-match, in one of Australian cricket's most important victories.

Re-live cricket's best sledges
"Obviously to get a five for in a Test match in an Ashes series is an unbelievable feeling," Johnson said.

"All the boys racing in and getting into a huddle, it was a great celebration for us.

"It's been a long time for us winning a Test match.

"It was a great moment, something I won't forget."

His 64 and 39 not out with the bat and nine wickets marked one of the best allround performances in Test history.

Much-maligned offspinner Lyon also turned a corner in Brisbane, snaring Alastair Cook and Matt Prior in quick succession on Sunday.

He has now sung the team song for the first time.

http://wwos.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=8760944

PS -


Michael Clarke: "I think it is because both teams want to win so badly," Clarke said of the extraordinary first Test niggle at the Gabba.


That about (Sums it All Up) in 1 sentence...


"I think it is because both teams want to win so badly"

Its the side who can best handle the (Pressure) as to who will ultimately take home the (Ashes)...:yes4:

TODAY'S classic Pommie whinge centres on a little Aussie sledging. Poor darlings...:cry:

Time to (Toughen Up) England or (Pay the Piper) & (Suffer the Consequences)...! :wizard:


PSS - Matty Haden weighed in with this...

Former Australian star Matthew Hayden reinforced the feeling between the sides when he tweeted...


"Couldn't have happened to a more miserable bunch of cocky Poms."

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/cricket/ashes-test-turns-nasty-after-michael-clarke-tells-jimmy-anderson-to-get-ready-for-a-broken-fking-arm/story-fni2usfi-1226767345371

[varuna]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25085025

England's Jonathan Trott has left the Ashes tour of Australia because of a long-standing stress-related condition.

Going off on a slight tangent into Mental Health, re the above, it was great to hear Marcus Trescothick (Somerset, former England player)on radio 5 live this am discussing the devastating effects of depression. Marcus has been a very positive advocate and was one of the first major sports people to come and talk openly about depression. I wish Trott all the best in his recovery...be interesting to see how the team handles this.

[panopticon]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25085025

England's Jonathan Trott has left the Ashes tour of Australia because of a long-standing stress-related condition.

Going off on a slight tangent into Mental Health, re the above, it was great to hear Marcus Trescothick (Somerset, former England player)on radio 5 live this am discussing the devastating effects of depression. Marcus has been a very positive advocate and was one of the first major sports people to come and talk openly about depression. I wish Trott all the best in his recovery...be interesting to see how the team handles this.

I feel sorry for the poor buggar. Can't imagine how he can cope playing elite sports with a stress related mental health condition.

Imagine having a solid object hurtling at your head doing 140 kilometres per hour...

That's certainly a stressful environment!

Shame to see him go. Hope he feels better soon.

-- Pan

[Bill Ryan]

-------

Wow. I didn't see THAT coming.

(Neither did Michael Vaughan...)






Former England skipper Michael Vaughan also believes Trott had made the correct decision to fly home.

"He's made exactly the right decision," Vaughan told BBC Radio 5 live. "The hardest thing about it is that it's not visual.

"I don't know how long it's been going on for Jonathan but clearly this week [in the first Test] he wasn't right. I criticised him in the second innings and I wished I hadn't. I wish I had known he was going through so many troubles.


Let's now see if the Aussies can rise to a little real sportsmanship, and also wish the poor bloke well. It's an opportunity for both Clarke and Warner to make right before the animosity gets out of hand.

In fact, several people on both teams could show themselves either in the best light, or the worst. It's all just a microcosm of the human condition. (Araucaria/John: there's the real connection to the rest of Avalon...)

Talking about the human condition (all aspects of it), read the very interesting 200+ comments on this page. They represent all possible views:

Ashes Test turns nasty after Michael Clarke tells Jimmy Anderson to 'get ready for a broken f*%king arm'

http://adelaidenow.com.au/sport/cricket/ashes-test-turns-nasty-after-michael-clarke-tells-jimmy-anderson-to-get-ready-for-a-broken-fking-arm/story-fnii0bxe-1226767345371


I found myself this morning writing a long piece about true sporting excellence. But I may save that for later, sometime. It might not belong on this thread!

:)

Instead, as a placeholder, have a quick look at this -- which features two heroes:


The great Aussie runner John Gilmour, an outstanding sportsman by any definition.
Britain's David Hemery (who I knew and worked with once or twice: an wonderful sporting ambassador).

Not all Aussies or Brits are either wimps or bullies. It's a good read. Recommended.

So is Hemery's excellent book:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/519H4CRKH3L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

http://amazon.com/Sporting-Excellence-David-Hemery/dp/0002183986

http://projectavalon.net/cricket/Sporting_Excellence.gif

[Cidersomerset]

http://static.bbci.co.uk/frameworks/barlesque/2.54.3/desktop/3.5/img/blq-blocks_grey_alpha.png

25 November 2013 Last updated at 12:06

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71321000/jpg/_71321738_451523461.jpg


Jonathan Trott: England batsman leaves Ashes tour of Australia
England's Jonathan Trott has left the Ashes tour of Australia because of a long-
standing stress-related condition.

Batsman Trott scored 19 runs in two innings during England's first Test defeat and
struggled against the bowling of Mitchell Johnson.

"I don't think it is right that I'm playing knowing that I'm not 100%," said the 32-
year-old.

England coach Andy Flower added: "He needs time away from this environment and
time with his family."

Trott batted in all 10 innings when England retained the Ashes during the summer,
averaging 29 runs, but he was dismissed for 10 and 9 during the first Test defeat at
the Gabba.

"I cannot currently operate at the level I have done in the past," said Trott, whose
club Warwickshire offered their full support.

"My priority now is to take a break from cricket so that I can focus on my
recovery."

Trott's display in Brisbane was described as "poor and weak" by Australia's David
Warner, who also claimed England's batsmen had "scared eyes."


England captain Alastair Cook said the comments were "disrespectful," a view
shared by Flower, who said Warner's remarks had no impact on Trott's decision to
leave.

"Jonathan has been struggling with this condition for quite a while," added
Flower. "We have been on tour for about a month and he has had his ups and
downs through that month and it is not directly related to that.

"I would also say players commenting to fellow professionals in the media is
disrespectful and I think on this occasion he [Warner] has got that horribly wrong."

Read More....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25085025

[jackovesk]

:director: Aaaawwe....for (Crying Out Loud) its just a game of Cricket between two Countries...:ear:))))))

40 years ago when I was a kid playing junior Cricket, there would be sledging, a few swear words thrown in and you'd all have a chat after the game...

Now the Brits say "Its all about Sportsmanship"...

...and the Aussies say "Stop ya (WHINGING) and just get on with it..!"...

To be quite Honest, if you have ever played Professional Sport of any kind? You would realize, you just (HATE) to lose...:yes4:

Its funny you know, too see just how many are getting (SUCKED INTO) all the (Media Hype) whilst at the same time (Filliing Up) the (MSM Coffers) for the privilege...:faint:

Seems quite Bizarre doesn't it...:pound:
'
Let 'Sleeping Dogs Lie' and move on...:faint:

[araucaria]

I look forward to your thread Bill. Sport is a microcosm, yes. Wrestling is mostly a sham, but not quite: there is a winner and a loser and they must make each other pretty sore. And cheating, or perceived cheating, is an integral part of the game. Take rugby: seen from the other side, the opposing team is offside all the time and every pass is a forward pass :)

[Referee]

Just a bunch of drama... I referee professional soccer this sort of thing goes on all the time. Just like Jackovesk said above a player will chew out another or myself and usually ends up buying the first round at the bar after the match.

On occasion though you get the other one when a player is charged with cheating by another. This is far more serious just take for example Roy Keane and his problems with Håland. Roy was accused of a dirty move on Haland and he accused Håland of diving. A year and a half later Roy settled the account..

Roy told Håland on the pitch that he would settle the score with him in some barrage of colorful language. I believe he admitted all of this in a book after he retired. Sometimes these situations can get out of control.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_st29mlQwU an extreme example however we do not know exactly what the problem was...

Go England!

[Cidersomerset]

Aaaawwe....for (Crying Out Loud) its just a game of Cricket between two Countries...))))))

Vaughany did a quick news piece this morning defending Clarke and pointing out Clarke did not
want to really break Andersons arm, it was the usual 'mind games ' all cricket teams have done
& do over the years.....

[jackovesk]

Here's my (Balmy Army) impression...


One nill - One nil - One nill - One nil - One nill - One nil - One nill - One nil - One nill - One nil - One nill - One nil - One nill - One nil - One nill - One nil - One nill - One nil - One nill - One nil -One nill - One nil - :first:


:dance3: :thank_you2: