Giving up on (a part) of your life purpose

[Natalia]

Has anyone felt like this too, like giving up on (a part) of your life purpose, because at times it is just too difficult?

If I look at the potential of what I could be and do in some ways, I fall short, yes I'm not there yet...and healing takes time...and I know that...and even though I have not felt enough support with this, a few people noticed my potential, but I am still not really living it...just partly...

So, I went to see a very accurate and genuine psychic/intuitive counselor, some years ago...she didn't give me a psychic reading of the future...but mentioned some things about my life purpose and my nature and past lives and life lessons...I am here to do something "big"...but at times I just didn't want that pressure and what came with it, and didn't have much confidence in myself (in that way), and just wanted to give up on it and live more of a "normal life"...

I have felt abandoned at times, I am not one of those who is in constant contact with my spirit guides (I've been told that they will only come to me if I ask, and I am meant to find my own way in this life and work it out for myself, but at times it is lonely and I wished that they would just come and help me). I'm sure that they have helped me at times in some ways...I do remember there were times where this was true...

It seems to me that life purposes can change throughout one's life...and there are different parts of one's life purpose...and there have been things that have come to stop me...well they know just how to get to you...so I wonder now if that big thing is no longer a realistic option for me...and if it isn't something in me feels relieved...

A bit about me as a child, I was extremely psychic and connected to the unseen worlds, more than most children (I am not saying that from ego or wanting to feel special, it's just truth) and I had some different to the norm way of seeing things and was very sensitive to the cruelty in this world - it was shocking and traumatizing to me...later on as an adult (after going through much pain, experienced severe bullying at school, and family problems), I felt a deep grief about what I had lost...some of the connection...I still experience it somewhat and at times still psychic (not as much as I used to be as a child)...I felt like I lost a part of myself...I did go into my own world and often escaped in daydreams...when I was a teenager I said to someone "my own world is better than this world"...

There is a lot of love and beauty in this world, and I love people, and I believe in the human race...but am also aware of the other stuff (cruelty and violence and lack of loving understanding) in this world, that I wish would end or greatly reduce one day...

I am wounded and scarred, but I have a big heart, and love is the most important thing to me...

At times I felt like going home (I am a "starseed", though I am not a fan of labels and don't often refer to myself as that, but just so that you know what I mean)...but I chose to stay here until my time is up.

I have made some progress, growth, healing, remembering...and I love doing things that I love that brings me joy (singing, dancing, music, poetry, cats, connection with others, mysteries, admiring beauty, nature, stars, love)...

I know that some of you guys can relate :) It would be nice to connect with some here.

Thanks for reading,

Amethyst

[Becky]

Hi Amethyst, I can relate to you. I wish you love and strength to work through your stumbling blocks so you can move forward.

Becky x

[Natalia]

Thank you Becky :) <3

[giovonni]

usually my every other moment ... http://www.skype-emoticons.com/images/emoticon-00138-thinking.gif

[Spiral of Light]

I know that some of you guys can relate :) It would be nice to connect with some here.

Thanks for reading,

Amethyst

Hi Amethyst. I can relate to your experiences in a BIG way. You are not alone. Hang in there, Sister.

Sending you lots of love and good energy.

((((((hugs)))))) Nancy

[chocolate]

...
is impossible.
Or did you Really think you know your life purpose?

I am sending you also Love and Piece, and assurance that you will know only when you are not here anymore.
So chill and just enjoy; you haven't given up on that particular thing, only on some other things that probably don't have much value anyway.

[Dennis Leahy]

If you know the Lord of the Rings story, you know that the "purpose" was not an adventure but rather a task, and that there was always the longing to get back home to normal life. I think it is a common theme. It is for me. Hang in there, my friend, take smaller steps forward, or even occasionally pause in your journey - and realize you'll still eventually get there.

Dennis

[Heartsong]

I've faced the same dilemma. What finally came to me after years of personal dissonance is that the "purpose(s)" that I had struggled toward really weren't mine. The were imposed upon me by the ethics of my family and culture. You see, I have failed at gaining acclaim and notoriety. I have failed at excelling on their terms.

Actually, on my own terms, given my nature and circumstances, I've done well.

[ghostrider]

Sometimes when we are effective , the whole kitchen sink gets thrown at us ... so take it as you are doing something right when troubles come your way ... it's life little way of building character and strength , you make it through , and you can handle anything thrown at you ...getting stronger and stronger until you are solid like an oak tree , others will struggle and you can help them overcome it , as you were there once and conquered it ...hang in there, you have friends here ...

[Selene]

I can really appreciate your feelings, Amethyst. You are certainly not alone! I spent many, many years wondering about my purpose – until it showed up in a single moment, a single gesture, a single act. And I can go to my grave now knowing that if I accomplish nothing else, I did that. And many, many lives were saved because of it.

But, if I may say so, you are still comparatively young in this life and your purpose itself may still be evolving. It can continue to do so for many, many years before it – and you – are truly ready to engage each other. Your ‘mission’ may not exist yet.

In the meantime, everything you do, everything you learn and everything you accomplish- no matter how insignificant it may seem to you at the time - will eventually play some role in your success at achieving that purpose. Please believe me here – all those frustrations, stumbles, ‘pointless exercises’ and otherwise ‘meaningless’ experiences in life contain the seeds of the person you will need to become.

Follow your heart, follow your instincts. They will lead you to where you need to be: in the right place at the right time to do what you are meant to do. That path may be a convoluted and complex one that may never be clear to you. But it is entirely real, and it does have a greater purpose.

Trust yourself, above all. You are here now for a reason, whether you understand that reason or not.

All my best wishes,

Selene

[ceetee9]

I can totally relate Amethyst. I have often felt like giving up—especially of late, but I don't know if I'd be giving up my “life purpose” or just giving up on doing what little I can to make this world a better place for everyone. You see, I have no idea what my life purpose is, or even if I have a life purpose. I once thought I did, but I'm not so sure anymore.

Maybe we all feel like we have a life purpose when, perhaps, it is nothing more than our ego attempting to elevate itself above the masses or trying to make sense of why we're here. I'd be willing to bet that many people on Avalon (and in the world at large for that matter) feel like they have a “special purpose” and/or want to make the world a better place. Perhaps this is nothing more than human nature. Our parents worked hard to provide a better life for us than they had and, in so doing, instilled that same drive and determination in us. Of course, not all parents behaved this way and, as a consequence, their children had a far different experience growing up, but I believe these are the exceptions and not the norm—at least I fervently hope so.

At any rate, I know I have not lived up to my potential. Why? I'm not sure. Perhaps it was because I've always been somewhat of a rebel and when people (parents, teachers, friends, etc.) stroked my ego by saying I was very smart or talented or could accomplish anything I set my mind to, I had to prove them wrong and so I would do the exact opposite of what they encouraged me to do (that is, unless it was something that I really wanted to accomplish myself). Or perhaps it was just the fear of not being able to live up to all the expectations they put upon me or, more importantly, that I put upon myself. Or maybe it was the fear of succeeding at something I had little or no desire to do or succeed at.

I wish I had the wisdom to figure out if I have a life purpose and, if so, what it is and why I'm not pursuing it with the zeal and effort of which I know I am capable.

I've always been interested in science (particularly physics and chemistry) and music, but when the Beatles came on the scene I put my science interests on the back burner and focused on becoming a Rock 'N Roll (guitarist) star. I really had little to no interest in politics, government, economics or “conspiracy theories.” However, I had had some UFO experiences (starting at an early age) which led me to learn more about this phenomenon. It was through my UFO research that opened my eyes to a far greater range of things going on in the world and the potential conspiracies behind some of them and my eventual discovery of Avalon.

What I'm rather awkwardly attempting to get at is this: if I have a life purpose, is it to be a great scientist, musician, father, conspiracy theorist, leader of some peace movement, or some, all, or none of the above? I haven't a clue and, quite frankly, I'm getting very tired of trying to figure it out. Consequently, I think I'm coming to the conclusion that it really doesn't matter—especially if this 3D “reality” in which we find ourselves is just an illusion as so many quantum scientists are beginning to postulate.

Perhaps we should all just sit back, do what makes us happy, love one another, and enjoy the ride.

[Herbert]

I'm not good at giving advice because I have always figured the solution to most problems lies within.

However you touched my heart Amethyst, and so I'm breaking my rule this one time on the forum because so many people don't realize the greatest gift they can give is to themselves.

I see this happen over and over to people who look outside of themselves for life purpose. And of course astrologers, intuitives, positives, counselors, channels are always ready to tell you they know your future.

The fact is that people listen to this advice and start framing their lives around pseudo-science, in the case of Astrology and so-called experts; When what they should be doing is listening to the subtle clues of their own body and their own intuitive sense of what FEELS right to you.

We are all here for a great purpose and that is to be ourselves and find a way to remove the emotional blocks from mostly childhood trauma that are preventing you from fully loving who you are.

Yes emotional support from fellow human beings or animals or nature is something we all need and I am all for that. Still you must gain mastery within by doing the things you love to do and allowing your energy to flow freely as in passion.

My sense is that you are and have been far too hard on yourself - we are here to love ourselves not judge ourselves.

An ancient native American practice called the give-away is one of the best ways to remove trauma from the body. You use a pencil and write down on a newspaper what is bothering you when you think about it. You don't read it back, you just tear it up and burn it. You keep doing it until you can think about those things and they are just events with no pain or emotional feeling attached to them.

It's hard to start and you will be amazed at just how hard it is to start doing this. You will think up all kinds of excuses. Nevertheless it is you taking responsibility and after a few experiences of actually DOING IT!!

You will be surprised at how much you really have to rid yourself of and how your energy begins to grow more and you feel so much better. But keep it up until you've gotten rid of all that c**p you've been holding onto and blocking your flow with.

And guess what. That is your main purpose in this lifetime - to open up your body's flow so that you can fully connect to Earth and nature and your passions.

It's really very simple. Why do we all think it's so impossibly complex?

You connect to your higher self through the Earth energy and nature. At first you will feel it in your physical body subtly waking you up to something new, and you will take some time to be able to put this new awareness into words. It's all about feeling within for the truth.

If Earth wants you to know one thing, it is to lighten up.

I wrote this 'Rap' beat. It's not great but it helped me to process a lot of new awareness and it's just for fun cause being close to organic life, one simply can't be heavy.

This is a work in progress. I don’t know if it will ever be honed enough to call it completed.

Vortex Beat

Truth is just a word if truth be known
Compassionate knowing through empathic tone
Ignorance leads to negativity
Balanced expression is our, Destiny

Earth Tones, Earth Tones are what I see
Earth Tones, Earth Tones are where I be
Came here from another galaxy
Earthy woman is the woman for me!

Gaia, Sophia integrate me, yeah
Integrate, integrate, integrate Me!
Integrate, integrate, integrate Me!

Asked my Doctor if he could relate,
The Doctor said man you’d better Vaccinate!
Went to a teacher said: What do you do?
Teacher said indoctrinate, Indoctrinate You!

Chorus if you like.

I asked a scientist but he didn't know?
The priest just told me that he’s sold my soul!
The government threatens to incarcerate me
My lawyer says he’ll litigate, but for a Fee!

Chorus if you like.

Giving up possessions, Earth gives for free
To hell with professionals; my home’s in a tree!
They’ve all been saying that I’m living in sin,
So I lifted up the veil and Creation rushed in!

Earth tones, Earth tones are what I see
Earth tones, Earth tones are where I be
Came here from another Galaxy
Earthy woman is the woman for me

Gaia, Sophia integrate me, Yeah
Integrate, integrate, integrate Me!
Integrate, integrate, integrate Me!

[Selene]

What I'm rather awkwardly attempting to get at is this: if I have a life purpose, is it to be a great scientist, musician, father, conspiracy theorist, leader of some peace movement, or some, all, or none of the above? I haven't a clue and, quite frankly, I'm getting very tired of trying to figure it out. .....

Perhaps we should all just sit back, do what makes us happy, love one another, and enjoy the ride.

I think so, ceetee9. The idea that our life’s purpose is to be a Great Yadda Yadda is indeed very likely only our ego talking. And even if you were, would you ever really know it? After all, Mozart died in poverty, very probably convinced his life as a composer had been a failure. And prison on Robeson Island was probably not what Nelson Mandela thought was a great success.

I don’t think we can ever understand our purpose by trying to figure it out intellectually. And no angel with a flaming sword is ever going to show up with a scroll and lay it all out for us. Purpose is incremental, teamwork, complex and malleable. Our true role in holding up the sky may be invisible to us because our minds insist on finding something obvious. One’s purpose here may be related to inner growth, or increasing psychological or mental maturity. Or learning how to truly laugh and love.

Everything we need to do right now is here in front of us, right now. Yes, this stupid, apparently pointless, boring situation we think we are caught in right now. It has everything you need right now.

Who you are – right now – and what you do in this moment is the sum total of your life’s true purpose now. Anything else that you experience in life can only unfold from this present moment.

No wonder the Zen masters say that when a great sage finally achieves enlightenment, he bursts out laughing.

http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/800x600q90/10/kdxk.jpg (https://imageshack.com/i/0akdxkj)

Cheers,

Selene

[skyflower]

Hi Amethyst,

I Think we need to have faith that our higher selves have all under control. We might take the longer route if we are not in tune with our own spirit, but we still get to our destination with the lessons we signed up for. When we do take the longer route, I believe it is because we feel we need that extra time and repetition to get the lesson, so no choice is a wrong a choice.
If you know your purpose, you got half of it down. I haven't figured mine out yet! I sure had quite a few before, but they weren't really mine...they were "purposes" I had inherited from my parents, and religion. When I finally woke up to what was going on, I discarded it all because it didn't feel right.
So now I am on a quest to figure out what MY life's purpose is, but I need to figure out first who I REALLY am.
So I take it in one day at a time. When things come our way, I believe it is all by design.
So if at this moment, you need to let go of something, then let it flow. If something comes your way, embrace it.
A lot of times, that is just what we need.

My 2 cents. :)

[Natalia]

Hi all and thank you for your supportive and insightful replies :)

There was a time when I went deeply into my life purpose and what it was, and why I was here...at times I got fed up of it all and it did feel too heavy at times. It's all part of the process, and to just forget about it sometimes and go with the flow, is nice. But at times I wonder if I am going too much with the flow...and avoiding something else that I could be building in myself and my life...

Every now and then I have a look at how I am doing, it's not like I want to do something "great", more like doing what I came here to do, which I have done somewhat. The most important thing for me in that, is if it feels right and if my heart is in it. Some things that I used to be passionate about, I am not anymore or less so...I guess this is a natural part of "progressing" in life...

I have looked and felt within, and also on the outside, as well...I value both, but at times I feel a little lost! lol, that's a natural part of being in human form, too.

I knew what my purpose was before the psychic said anything (and she said to me, you already know what it is, but some of what she said was a good reminder, and she said some things about past lifes that I did not know and also that confirmed some things for me, and to feel her belief in me and support, was nice, especially when you cannot talk about these things to most people and most people do not understand certain things as well).

It is true that at times I have been too hard on myself, but at times I have been too soft on myself, too! lol.

And yes, ego and sense of self does come into it sometimes, but I see ego as being a natural part of being in human form, and it's better to have a healthy one than an unhealthy one (though it can be and often is a mix!).

I like this talk from Basha about negotiating with the ego and working in partnership with it:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YhndXL1t4A

[rgray222]

I wish I had the wisdom to figure out if I have a life purpose and, if so, what it is and why I'm not pursuing it with the zeal and effort of which I know I am capable.

It is clear that you have the wisdom to know that you are here for a purpose and you have the wisdom to be looking for that purpose. Most people go through life never giving this much thought. They react to the people, events and circumstances around them without understanding that there is a purpose to their life.

I honestly believe that you already know why you are here and it can easily be revealed (once again) if you just slow down a bit. Do not allow yourself to get frustrated and above all work with the universe not against it!

[markpierre]

Purpose unravels relative to expansion. Expansion IS the purpose. It doesn't really matter much
what you do after that, you won't have the same relationship with the idea of 'doing'.
That's a little mixed up with 'purpose' as its viewed from a human perspective. 'So what do you do?'
The popular 'I don't know what I'm doing either' unanswerable question. Mostly you distract yourself by doing stuff.

Right now you think it can only be seen as an impact on the illusion. Guess what. Those bodies are as illusory as the couch they're sitting on.

It's the same awakening to Self that you have when you drop your body and reawaken to reality.
The mission is to make that transition in form.

After....if you have some specific job to do, you won't avoid it. You might not even be aware of it.
You're probably fully doing it now and either unaware, or judging it into the background.
It's not tangible enough. It isn't represented by a diploma. There's nowhere to send an invoice.
No brass plaque on a wall with your name on it.
It's impossible to not be exchanging the light that you are with everything in your awareness. No one is not doing that.

You don't want to be a plumber or a bricklayer. Or a doctor or a bus driver. You don't want to be a healer
or a 'lightworker'. You want to be You. No other identity is meaningful. 'You' can do any or all of those things and probably will,
but your 'purpose' is to be You. Before that occurs, you frankly won't know the responsibility that goes with it.
When responsibility is just a given, you fully trust yourself, you can carry on with anything without questions or doubt.

Do you know your own honesty and integrity? Is it intact? Good.
Do you know that the truest answer won't exclude anyone's best interests? Good.
Do you know what to do with all of that? No? Good, then you can't interfere.

[ceetee9]

I wish I had the wisdom to figure out if I have a life purpose and, if so, what it is and why I'm not pursuing it with the zeal and effort of which I know I am capable.

It is clear that you have the wisdom to know that you are here for a purpose and you have the wisdom to be looking for that purpose. Most people go through life never giving this much thought. They react to the people, events and circumstances around them without understanding that there is a purpose to their life.

I honestly believe that you already know why you are here and it can easily be revealed (once again) if you just slow down a bit. Do not allow yourself to get frustrated and above all work with the universe not against it!I appreciate your kind words rgray, thank you. I agree with you that I need to slow down as my wife tells me all the time that I'm much too impatient--and I know she is absolutely right. And I do get easily frustrated--particularly with things that are, to me, obviously out of whack yet seem to elude or, at least, not concern the greater masses. Sometimes I feel like I'm living on an insane alien planet. However, I will heed your advice and continue to strive to work with the universe and not against it--despite the fact that it appears to be an uphill battle for me.

[budicca]

Sending an abundance of love your way amethyst I also have walked a little in your shoes I have witnessed some horrific violence , endured abuse and was bullied beyond any boundry but I had a guide she was my nana she showed me how to love and care for ppl even though my life was so awful at times it never beat me into submission x
I have been awake for 16 yrs but only recently started looking at my purpose my path is to help ppl in need, care for ppl that can't do it themselves and to teach ppl kindness x f I have made only one difference or saved just one soul then I can rest Peacefully when my time comes x Namasté x may your beautiful journey enlighten you and enrich your soul x

[Natalia]

Hi all, thank you for your warm and wise replies :) (I only saw the last ones today)

an update, I have come to it in myself that my purpose is simply love, all of that "big stuff" that a few others saw for me (and me at times as a possibility for myself), might be part of my potential or not but it doesn't matter anymore and things change...

This feels good, to make it simple and true without pressure! And we can only do right now what we are ready for...

There is magic and beauty and love in everyday, lots of little small things that can make us and others happy.

I feel like I had to let go of attachment to "purpose", and I have done that, and it feels better, hehe :)

Guess it's just a phase that some of us go through...on our journeys in life...

[Natalia]

and there are some things that I just don't know about my future, and living life each day at a time...

APInRKQQoUQ

[RunningDeer]

I can really appreciate your feelings, Amethyst. You are certainly not alone! I spent many, many years wondering about my purpose – until it showed up in a single moment, a single gesture, a single act. And I can go to my grave now knowing that if I accomplish nothing else, I did that. And many, many lives were saved because of it.

But, if I may say so, you are still comparatively young in this life and your purpose itself may still be evolving. It can continue to do so for many, many years before it – and you – are truly ready to engage each other. Your ‘mission’ may not exist yet.

In the meantime, everything you do, everything you learn and everything you accomplish- no matter how insignificant it may seem to you at the time - will eventually play some role in your success at achieving that purpose. Please believe me here – all those frustrations, stumbles, ‘pointless exercises’ and otherwise ‘meaningless’ experiences in life contain the seeds of the person you will need to become.

Follow your heart, follow your instincts. They will lead you to where you need to be: in the right place at the right time to do what you are meant to do. That path may be a convoluted and complex one that may never be clear to you. But it is entirely real, and it does have a greater purpose.

Trust yourself, above all. You are here now for a reason, whether you understand that reason or not.

All my best wishes,

Selene

:bump:


But, if I may say so, you are still comparatively young in this life and your purpose itself may still be evolving. It can continue to do so for many, many years before it – and you – are truly ready to engage each other. Your ‘mission’ may not exist yet.

Nice post, Selene. I'm reading it again for the first time. I'm not as comparatively young, but it still applies. There's completion in parts of my life, but like you posted, my next ‘mission’ may not exist yet.

This 3D life is much more complex than I ever imagined. My understanding of it all is but a speck on a fly's baby toe. So while I play at life, I'll stay open to the greater. And like you, if nothing transpires, I'll leave this plane of existence with the knowing that I've made a difference.

It wasn't too long ago, I didn't have the need to hang around. It's no longer the case, I want to stay and be a part of all possibility. Where light creates remembrance in All. Then we play at life again for the first time.

Hearts,
RunningDeer<3


http://avalonlibrary.net/paula/Lighthouses/lighthouse_M.JPG

[Selene]

Running Deer, you are so beyond kind and gracious...!

With greatest respect and thanks,

Selene

[kirolak]

I was told once by a Being of Light that we really do not know the purpose of our mission until it is over. . . . just a thought in passing, it may not apply to all.

[Omni]

I used to live by and was completely dedicated to helping the world in any way I could. Big things like sacrificing my well being to inform others of truths. But also small things like recycling, talking to random people I meet on the street about a subject I feel will gain the world if they are aware of, or gain them if they were informed about. Making music and art for people to enjoy life more, etc.

What we do in life echos an eternity(one of my favorite quotes). Sometimes something as simple as giving a cat some love is a great thing IMO. Being a good mother or father to ones children(one of the best things Ive ever done is tell a child of someone elses about planets and stars, you could see the mind expansion and pure curiosity and wonder in her face it was wonderful). Being there for friends when they need it. Buying a homeless person some shoes and a meal. You don't need to be a big game changer to help the world. Every single person is their own world in a way as they are a perception experiencing the world. So by helping a single soul you are changing a whole world. Sponsor the energy you resonate with (love :) ) and it will permeate around you and effect others in a good way. I can tell by your posts you are a beautiful person. I'm sure your presence alone is a blessing to those around you.

I can totally relate with the title of the thread. In general I've lost my purpose because of my targeting by the US government. When your mothers life is threatened it's hard to continue(or when you are tortured severely with advanced technology). I've given up on my websites and blogs and video producing... They made it easy by hacking my websites and making them upload viruses to peoples computers(I pulled the plug).. But I still do the little things, and in the last couple days I've posted more(although the first night after posting was pretty rough with heavy nausea and headache via technology).

Anyway, keep on keepin on Amethyst. Sometimes it's better to try and accomplish small things before you try and revolutionize the world hehe

<3