AutumnW
5th June 2014, 00:27
I have apologized to Tony on another thread and behind the scenes but want to issue a further public apology and explanation for having a very aggressive reaction to a post he made in one of the group discussion forums a short while ago.
My reaction was impulsive and uncalled for and shows how as much as kindness can send rippling concentric waves outward from a focal point of a generous act or warm remark, the opposite is true, as well.
I was the best friend of a Zen Buddhist practitioner for many years. She leaned on both my husband and I. We poured a lot of genuine care concern and love into the relationship with her. We agonized over her life, as it was so hard for her to make a living. She had tremendous difficulties with people in my small community. I thought some of it was overblown and told her that she might be misperceiving things, but handled her so gently and with such care, because my heart was always breaking for her. But I believed many of her stories, too, and it affected my perception of the community in a pretty negative way.
There were undercurrents of tremendous arrogance and once when my husband and I had a minor problem we shared with her, she offered up nothing but a zen koan in response. It was as helpful as being handed a cat turd. At the time, I just thought it was odd, but let it go.
When she decided to move away, back to her native France, we paid for her airfare and to have many of her possessions shipped there.
And that is pretty much the last we heard from her.
I have since heard that she was back stabbing my husband and I, telling people we rejected her, etc..etc.. I just managed to clear up this fantastic claim with a couple of mutual friends, about a week ago.
Anyways there is more to this story, but the one thing I took away from it was to be very careful when dealing with people who present as harmless teddy bears, masked with a very spiritual aura. I could be dealing with a wounded grizzly, eager for a meal or in some kind of pain, or just plain venal.
In Tony's case, I realize I also have to be careful about making unconscious associations and seeing grizzlies, when I am confronted with somebody who is probably a teddy bear.
Sorry Tony
My reaction was impulsive and uncalled for and shows how as much as kindness can send rippling concentric waves outward from a focal point of a generous act or warm remark, the opposite is true, as well.
I was the best friend of a Zen Buddhist practitioner for many years. She leaned on both my husband and I. We poured a lot of genuine care concern and love into the relationship with her. We agonized over her life, as it was so hard for her to make a living. She had tremendous difficulties with people in my small community. I thought some of it was overblown and told her that she might be misperceiving things, but handled her so gently and with such care, because my heart was always breaking for her. But I believed many of her stories, too, and it affected my perception of the community in a pretty negative way.
There were undercurrents of tremendous arrogance and once when my husband and I had a minor problem we shared with her, she offered up nothing but a zen koan in response. It was as helpful as being handed a cat turd. At the time, I just thought it was odd, but let it go.
When she decided to move away, back to her native France, we paid for her airfare and to have many of her possessions shipped there.
And that is pretty much the last we heard from her.
I have since heard that she was back stabbing my husband and I, telling people we rejected her, etc..etc.. I just managed to clear up this fantastic claim with a couple of mutual friends, about a week ago.
Anyways there is more to this story, but the one thing I took away from it was to be very careful when dealing with people who present as harmless teddy bears, masked with a very spiritual aura. I could be dealing with a wounded grizzly, eager for a meal or in some kind of pain, or just plain venal.
In Tony's case, I realize I also have to be careful about making unconscious associations and seeing grizzlies, when I am confronted with somebody who is probably a teddy bear.
Sorry Tony