Are we judging others without even realizing it?

[halffull]

I thought this was an interesting experiment from the web sight live free live natural


Perception is everything. From the clothes we pick out in the morning to the people we associate ourselves with on a daily basis, so many of the decisions we make every day are subconsciously based on how we want the rest society to view us. Some of us may scoff at those whom we perceive have more than us, while others will admire and look up to decadency. Whether we know it or not, we are all judging others based on the superficial.

- See more at: http://livefreelivenatural.com/real-homeless-man-experiment/#sthash.R1AG3Bto.dpuf

w1rwRT229Uo

[panopticon]

Thanks Halffull,

A very good video that illustrates how certain individuals/group get classified via appearance etc.

There are a number of shortcomings in the way this experiment was performed but those are fairly minor considering the difficulties faced by people living on the street (especially those with multiple illness, intellectual challenges and/or disabilities).

Thanks for posting.

-- Pan

[ulli]

This type of daily judgment on a superficial level is not too bad, in my view. Although I get the point made.
But I believe that in life we do need to filter out some stuff, when we pursue our daily agendas,
and quick judgements based on visual input cannot be avoided.

What worries me is when judgment is applied by so-called professionals, who have the power to lock someone up.
As happens in the field of psychiatry all the time.

Here is an interesting talk about an anti-psychiatry movement supporter.

Not trying to derail this thread, just take it to the level where people judging other people really causes concern...

qKWnfM33SaE

[Lifebringer]

Yes, and if we have anger in us, it can get even worse. I'm still working on that, I know I'm not whole yet. It's one of my more tougher challenges. I just call it as I see it, and it's so cut and dry and devoid of any empathy at times when confronted by people who, really aren't that nice as a person. Just yesterday I woke up to my friends boyfriend she broke up with, spooned on the couch, because his aggressive and drunken behaviors won't allow him to consider anyone's feelings, but his own. They've been broke up the whole summer because he was caught cheating, and she wants to move on w/her life after 14 years and ending up homeless w/nothing but a irresponsible drunk who uses women to get through life, without any strings attached such as marriage, but wants the whole play house and commitment thingy. He came by after calling her on the cell phone, and told her he'd be "here" waiting for her to come. She's spending the only spare time she has with her depressed daughter. The losing of her apt because she lost her job, and no help all these years, has taken a mental toll on her 16 year old, (staying with father and new sibling and wife) doesn't feel loved or wanted there. I'm working so hard to get her some help. She works fast food, and on below poverty wages of 800.00 per month, no healthcare for her or her children.(state fighting medicaid expansion and famis is too much for her to afford) thank God she receives food stamps or my husband and I would really catch a deficit in our own budget.
Anyway this ex refuses to accept that it's over. The girl has had to hide a kissing hickey w/body powder to keep him from getting violent. Anyway I wake up and this guy is still here waiting for her to come home to this house(she's bouncing between family w/no extra space) and he's only concerned with "his broken heart" when he's too drunk to realize, he's of NO help to her, wrecks her nerves on alcohol and threatens to kill her when we aren't within earshot. He's been on her jobs stalking the bus stop, snatching her uniform hat(can't work w/out the hat in fast food) she's barely got any nerves left. I call him a drunk jerk immature abuser in my mind, and that's what I mean by judging. He's called me a bitch via my husband, because if I would have heard him, those words would have come out and then some. He's my hubby's brother, from another mother, who was sexually abused as a child by his mom's friend. He's never sought help for dealing with this "hidden hate of women and distrustful behavior" and he's very possessive, jealous, low self esteemed, and hardly ever works to take care of his only son who's 12 now. I've a few choice phrases for him, but I have to pray that I don't hold on to their BS and take myself out of my own growth, although he's on the end of a drunk binge(not on my page at all) and she's fearful trying to get a place and give her children a normal life again. Schools coming up, and he's not help in anything, including back to school, and her children's father where the 2 children are, isn't working and hasn't found a job, unemployment gone, and they have a baby in the home, that he stays home now to save on childcare. But he needs to work at night, when the mom is home, but she's giving him hell because he's not contributing and now "his" children are in the home. She's the only one working, and I understand her plight as far as him getting a job, but you don't kick a person when they are down. You either become part of the solution, or part of the problem.
Her ex doesn't understand, the girl is on the curb, and he needs to back off so she can stand in life again. He took her purse, robbed her of her little money, kept personal papers that kept her from a housing appointment for substidized apt that fits her below poverty income. Hopefully by Tuesday this week, housing will answer both our prayers, she's a great mom, and she's just been with this jerk for too long, and it took her own eyes when the girl came by his house, and he put her out his house to entertain the other side woman, that she woke up. I notice that whenever she prays, for something to happen as long as she's on the path to prosperous apartment solution, this (alcohol demon?) shows up and wrecks her nerves til she's shaking and I have to give her an anxiety pill before and after work. He's pushing her into a nervous breakdown because he won't move on.

He bought her a card that said "to my wife" and it's the first thing you see on the card. He asked me for my "honest" opinion, and I think due to all that's happened this summer w/him calling me names behind my back, that I crushed his intention, by correcting how he had just took away her titled freedom by "claiming her as his wife" when he's never had anything pertaining to a husbands mind. I asked him why didn't he go to the romance isle and section, and start w/how he feels about her, instead of pushing his intent of her being his WIFE after they broke up. I told him if he wanted me to go w/him and help him, that I would, but I don't think she's gonna have a Happy Birthday, if you don't even see things the way she does at this time/the now, after all he's done to her. By ignoring all the harm he's caused, it makes him feel fine, but other people who deal w/real world 24/7 without a drunken blurry eyed aggressive and bullying nature, see the boy has gone too far, and there may never be a reconciliation. My hubby and my mission is to protect her, until she's in her place. Told her to not give him the address so the children won't also be dealing w/drunken abusive behavior. Then get a phone that he's got no number to contact her. She's got stomach ulcers, feels suicidal at times, because the world is just too expensive for her to have a home for her children even though she works doubles sometimes, the company will take her overtime and put in on the other next pay period, which is against the law. They do that here in Virginia, you know to low wage workers, and if the worker says something, they get let go.

Pressure of all angles on this soul, and I've been there and done that and this is her first time going through this and she'll be 44 this Wednesday. Time to put the peddle to the medal and stop this fool from blocking her blessings, is where she's at. Her pastor has told her the same thing. 12 years, and he's been a drunk jerk cheater through all of it, and I know because I've seen the strumpets he drags home w/him.

So a prayer here for her to have her needs meant, would be appreciated, and remember I just told you, I have a sharp two edged sword when it comes to a tongue, ergo the reason it's so tough right now, and why I'm not whole yet.
I'm listening to Pastor Lance Watson who's saying you can't move forward if you keep looking back. You can't drive a car properly, if you're constantly in the rear mirror, more than what's in front of you. So we've got work to do here on moving forward. Forgiveness, and grateful that Yeshua is the judge, and it's not our job as the children, to judge others on another timeline because of the choices they make, when they are harming no one but themselves. Some souls as I told my husband last night, are troubled and comfortable in the negative, because it gives them control over others. WE're not here to please others, we're here to learn how to be worthy of His grace to keep your and my mission to help others in need. If we do, it frees God's time to go after and judge those whom he deems needing judgement.

Long story but that's the way a life cycle is. The knowledge of those of the good passing this knowledge on for the future minds to prosper without war, without hate, without poverty. The world is expanding to accommodate the population and just like islands popping up, and lakes being created in the desert. This is the power of God and His Creator Father in Heaven. What we don't know, they do, so just because we stumble on the guilt of these people, God has appointed the "right heart" to prosecute these in his name.

Hope that this was helpful to others. Oh and the prayers for these people in my life right now, are much appreciated. Perhaps a prayer of God's guidance and a angel to watch over them. I know this guy has sown lots of karma, and I want to be away from him when it starts to happen. My hubby and I don't need his bull, cause we don't own cows. LOL

[panopticon]

Hello Lifebringer,

I do hope that you take the time to breath calmly, spend some time alone and evaluate what is happening.

My partner had an ex who was/is similar to the gentleman you are describing.

There's an old saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so f**k off." I can tell you that even after 15 years, 4000 kilometres and 2 books he is still nothing to my partner. Barely gets a thought now. Not bad for a bloke who after abusing my partner said that they wouldn't amount to anything and would come back crying in a few days.

As you well know, your friend needs to make her own choices and given the complexity of the situation with the in-law step-brother, complex family dynamics and the risk of physical abuse I don't envy your situation.

At least you say she's a good Mum. That may give her a starting point to focus on that many others don't have.

Best of luck to you and your friend.

-- Pan

[shadowstalker]

Back in the day when I was living in Detroit in the mid to late 80's, the folks I was hangin with and I wanted to not be disturbed by others in public as we just wanted to hang out and have fun, so one day we all dressed in black. Well one day a bunch of other folks came along and decided we where witches and or satanic worshipers, why because we dressed in black, they judged us and all kinds of things where said, but we didn't care we knew who and what we where and are, so we kept on wearing black, and then noticed we where being left alone. And after a while we just left it that way...lol

To this day you will still catch me wearing all black from time to time and a dragon ring crystal necklaces , I have a brow piercing on my right brow and a belly ring and a piercing in my right upper ear. And considering my age you should hear the remarks I get lol. especially when they think I am much younger then I really am. OOOOH the words that come out the of these peoples mouths, it's quite entertaining at times.

[betoobig]

it all start by jugdjing ourselves...becouse what all the rest think about us....That creatres an evil espiral....
Please check out the threat 8 has put here in AvAlon about our fears.... judgment is one of them....
Love to all, specially to shadowstalker....
Shadowstalker let me say somthing to you with all my love, like if you where my sister (in fact you are)... i need to ask you something:
I´ll send you a private msm... big kiss

[Brakeman]

Judgement is as natural as breathing.

It's involuntary, but can be slowed, sped, tuned-out, magnified, or focused upon.

A survival mechanism of the ancient brain, justified by the mammalian brain to assess anything that disturbs homeostasis of external stimuli.

You're already judging me based on the last two sentences.

And the way I type.

You mean three sentences?

;)

By now, you're reading in your head with a slightly different voice, drawing out phrases and sentences differently to compensate for my spacing.

You've already determined if you're going to listen to me in agreement, or take an argumentative stance toward what I say.

You're already beginning to consider if you're going to reply to me, and what that reply will say.

And I've considered what you will say before I even wrote this post.

As well as what you would say in response to my response.

And as peculiar as it sounds, you've judged whether or not you think favorably of me by this point.

Fleeting thoughts, they are.

In a few moments, you'll think, "what's a brakeman?"

:p

Reactiveness to judgmental tendencies lead to predictable patterns and successive responses.

Everything and everyone is continually judged and weighed against other anchors, lengthening or shortening the swing of the pendulum of opinion.

[Brakeman]

It's ok.

I won't judge you.

:boink:

[donk]

Judgement is as natural as breathing.
....

Everything and everyone is continually judged and weighed against other anchors, lengthening or shortening the swing of the pendulum of opinion.

I'd say "as HUMAN"...lots of "natural things" that breathe may not judge, in the way that we are speaking of anyway....

...Other than that slight clarification, I couldn't agree more.

Oh yeah, and Judging judgement is pretty judgementental. :p

[rgray222]

We judge everything every minute of everyday.

We judge things to be:
Hot / Cold
Slow / Fast
Dangerous / Safe
Clever / Foolilsh

It is absolutely necessary to judge everything to survive in this life. It would be foolish to think that we can go through life without being judgmental. It is in our DNA and there is nothing wrong with it.

The problems comes when we judge something or someone and take action on that judgement without "thinking" of the consequences. We have all met people that "over-think" everything and they are a real pain in the a$$ but most people never think about their actions. When people don't think or consider the outcomes of their actions it usually ends up with unintended consequences. In other words you get a bad result.

In an odd sort of way the problems that most people experience occur when they don't judge the possible consequences of their actions.