The butterfly effect starts here

[Skyhaven]

Yesterday I have waved and smiled at an elder woman who stared kind of sadly out of the window of an elderly home... and she actually smiled and waved back!

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[Marianne]

Skyhaven, thanks for this. I love David Hamilton and his ideas on kindness and the chemical/psysiological effects it can have. Eye contact, real hugs and bonding make real changes in the body; one of the most important is the production of oxytocin that protects the heart.

[RunningDeer]

I’m going to forgo the fear of this coming across like an egoic post and just put it out there. These are a few of the creative ways I’ve participated in a mutual heart-to-heart exchange.

Sometimes, I make a conscious effort to put a smile on my face when I start my exercise because I can think of things I’d rather do. It literally changes my outlook within seconds. And I’m reminded of the smile because others I meet along the way, smile back.

I wave to the folks dressed up in silly costumes and/or wave signs at the traffic that hardly gives a glance at them. It’s clear they appreciate it by the returned enthusiasm.

I use to fill up at a gas station where you had to pay before you pump. If a parent pulled up with little kids, I’d give the attendant $5 to put towards their fill-up. We had an agreement that he wouldn’t say who.

At restaurants, I’d ask my server to pass along a gift certificate after I left.

The one that still brings tears to my eyes was a student that collected bottles and sometimes the other students brought in bottles from home for him. When I asked what he was saving for, he explained that his father was out of work. His plan was to open up a computer store one day so his father could work there. His first ‘goal’ was to raise enough money (minimum balance) to open up a savings account. And through our conversation, I found out which one in town.

That afternoon, I brought all the pertinent information, parents’ names, address and phone number and explained that I’d like to help the family without them knowing. The young lady said it wasn’t possible, but when she realized I was sincere and it was important, she ran it by her a boss. The boss explained that because the parents had an account with them, she’d make a call for a parent to come in to sign for the account. That afternoon and night felt like Christmas Eve and Christmas morning X’s 1000. Next day, he came in told me about anonymous person and his new saving account. And that he and his sister pooled their money.

I do self-check. Do I do it for them or do I do it for me? These events are so spontaneous that there’s no doubt it’s a mutual heart-to-heart exchange.

RunningDeer <3

[Marianne]

Inspiring, Paula.
You are creative in spreading kindness.
The most I've done is pay the toll for the car behind me, or buy breakfast for a homeless person sitting with just a cup of coffee.
It was something anyway.

[Robin]

Here's one:

I hold a different viewpoint towards birthdays. Society has become so self-centered and materialistic that it has created a tradition of seeing oneself as a beacon for people to gravitate to because of a day they popped out of the womb. After flaunting their up-coming birthday weeks beforehand while telling people what they want to do and how they want to do it, they receive items that accumulate in their house that they do not use.

As for myself, I celebrate my birthday differently. Instead of receiving gifts for my birthday, I instead choose to do good deeds for people. I recently turned 24 this past spring, and I went and did at least 24 good deeds for other people. I didn't even tell anyone t'was my birthday, and when people asked why I did something nice for them, I simply say that doing nice things for people makes me happy and I don't need a reason to do them. Every year, I make it my goal to do the amount of good deeds that correspond with my age.

Isn't this how society should be? Cooperation instead of competition, selflessness instead of selfishness, Heliocentric instead of Geocentric. Imagine how great this planet would be if everybody took this model and did good things for others on their birthday, instead of prancing around with a "ME, ME, ME!" attitude! Just imagine what kind of society we would have! Even in the Lord of the Rings, it is a tradition of Hobbits to give gifts to others on their birthday. Tolkien knew a thing or two about the nature of our reality, and I'd say that he was on to something with this Hobbit tradition...

I'm not saying that one should not celebrate their birthday and not be happy they were born on that day, but rather, that we should give thought to how we celebrate our birthdays. The way I see it is that I was born on this planet to help people, reduce suffering, spread Truth, and to be a good steward for Gaia. It makes sense to me to do things for other people on my birthday. I was not born on this planet to be catered to, and I think birthdays are a reflection of the collective mindset of people.

:)

[Skyhaven]

Very inspiring RunningDeer, SamwiseTheBrave, and Marianne.

@marianne: that's good enough, and it makes all the difference,.... its not a contest...

I often take time to just listen to people, look them into their eyes, let them know I care, ask them if I can help with anything. Somehow these simple gestures feel really powerful and give me contentment on a deeper level, and I hope I can convey that feeling to another person and they will in turn convey that to another person too.

[DeDukshyn]

Just the other day I was at the beer store and some guy in front of me - mid twenties maybe - was having trouble with his card (kept declining), and eventually left, quite bummed out about that. As he opened the door to leave I yelled at him and told him I'd get his beer for him. The lad couldn't believe what was happening, he was acting like I was the returned Jesus or something; to me it was no big deal. He started trying to think of ways he could pay me somehow, and I just said, "hey man, this world just needs more actions like this, pay it forward when you see someone who could use a bit of help, "Yes sir, absolutely!" he said with enthusiasm.

Its so simple to turn someone's almost "ruined" day into one that can lift their hearts for the day, even if it is just buying some guy beer on a Sunday afternoon ... ;)

[Skyhaven]

Yesterday a homeless man asked me for some money, I gave him some, but my intuition told me he's going to spend it on alcohol, so that left me having mixed feelings... my rational brain says no, that will not help much, but the heart says yes, because he clearly is in need of something, who am I to judge if its right or wrong what he will do with it.... curious to know your opinion on this.

[Wind]

Yesterday a homeless man asked me for some money, I gave him some, but my intuition told me he's going to spend it on alcohol, so that left me having mixed feelings... my rational brain says no, that will not help much, but the heart says yes, because he clearly is in need of something, who am I to judge if its right or wrong what he will do with it.... curious to know your opinion on this.

That's a good question. If I would have any food with me, I will probably give it. I think that giving and helping is always good even though it is up to the individual how they will use the gift. Some homeless people are homeless because they have an addiction or they have an addiction because they are homeless. It's a disgrace in my opinion, no one should be homeless in the so called civilized western world. I always tell myself that follow your heart and you can't go wrong.

[Rich]

Used to sometimes, I don't usually give money anymore cause everyone gets unemployment benefit in Germany
and probably in most other European countries too.
But I think whatever your heart tells you, will be right.
Question to ask would be:
Do I do this out of guilt, pity, pride or to get something back for it?

[Robin]

Yesterday a homeless man asked me for some money, I gave him some, but my intuition told me he's going to spend it on alcohol, so that left me having mixed feelings... my rational brain says no, that will not help much, but the heart says yes, because he clearly is in need of something, who am I to judge if its right or wrong what he will do with it.... curious to know your opinion on this.

It is easy to dream up images of this homeless individual using the money you give the to take up booze, but I would suggest letting go of the presumption. How do you know this is what they will turn the money given to them towards?

They are just as likely to buy some McDonald's with the money, which is laced with addictive, harmful chemicals. In my opinion, this is much worse than alcohol. Or, they may buy food so they have something to throw at a police officer. Do we know this...?

I find it useful when confronting the downtrodden to plant a seed in their minds. I know that it can be obvious that they will take the money to buy booze, but empathy and understanding goes a long way in encourage an individual to think introspectively.

One time in college a man came up to me while I was walking home. He was obviously drunk and we were near a gas station. He asked me if he could have a little money to make a phone call, because he was lost and needed to call a friend to pick him up. I knew that he was lying and that he simply wanted booze money, but I gave him $10 anyway.

He was grateful and started talking with me about how much he loves God and that God does wonderful things. When I told him that I don't believe in God, or at least the way he thinks about it, he was in disbelief. I saw something turn inside of him. He was in disbelief that somebody like me didn't believe in God after being so charitable, so he confessed to me what he was going to use the money for. He said that he felt terrible and even offered to give me my money back.

I told him to keep the money, because I don't need to believe in a religious God to be a good person, and he should enjoy the rest of his night. I knew what it was like to be in his situation, as I often turned to booze to quell my anxiety and frustration because of society. He drunkenly hugged me and I walked away. I left that night knowing that somehow I planted a seed in his mind that there IS good in this world, and that not everybody is chained to conventional thinking. I'm sure he continued to get drunk that night, but this small interaction very well could have been the start of an introspective journey for him.

[Skyhaven]

Used to sometimes, I don't usually give money anymore cause everyone gets unemployment benefit in Germany
and probably in most other European countries too.
But I think whatever your heart tells you, will be right.
Question to ask would be:
Do I do this out of guilt, pity, pride or to get something back for it?

Yes in the Netherlands there's also unemployment benefit, but only if one complies with the rules and those rules can be difficult the follow if one has an addiction or other difficulties like mental health issues.

For instance if one doesn't pay the rent, whether or not indirectly caused by addiction or not, one might lose their home. If one doesn't have a home address one doesn't receive benefits. Also in the Netherlands we are obligated to pay monthly healthcare insurance (120 euro). If one doesn't pay this amount the insurance office will/might then signal the benefits office and they then will be fined or the benefits are cut entirely.

I do this out of compassion.... when I saw the guy walking up, with the look of expecting disappointment on his face, his hesitant question, and the sorrow in his eyes, I just feel in my chest I have to reach out... afterwards I always start to question it rationally...

[Shezbeth]

One might be surprised to find how many professional beggars exists these days, who make a median 'wage' of $200/day,....

[Skyhaven]

One might be surprised to find how many professional beggars exists these days, who make a median 'wage' of $200/day,....

Yes this is probably happening too, but with some emphatic skill one could easily distinguish the sincere from the moneymakers.

[KaiLee]

I had a business card made up. On one side it says Kindness Card (experiments in generosity). On the other side it says You've just been touched by an anonymous act of kindness. Now is your chance to do something kind and pass this card along.
More often than not I will do something and forget to give the card. But when I do give the card the person always seems to feel better about having received kindness. It's as if they feel like they've paid for my service somehow because they now don't have a debt (real or supposed matters little). I often wonder what type of magic those little cards are doing.

[Hogswitch]

Yesterday a homeless man asked me for some money, I gave him some, but my intuition told me he's going to spend it on alcohol, so that left me having mixed feelings... my rational brain says no, that will not help much, but the heart says yes, because he clearly is in need of something, who am I to judge if its right or wrong what he will do with it.... curious to know your opinion on this.

What you did came from who you were at that moment. You can do no wrong because we don't really have choices. Every act ever taken by a person is a perfect expression of exactly who the person is at the moment they act, it could be no other way. Any regret you might have is based on the mistaken idea that you could have acted differently. But nobody can ever act contrary to who they are, because that's literally impossible.
Hog.

[Jake]

One might be surprised to find how many professional beggars exists these days, who make a median 'wage' of $200/day,....

Yes this is probably happening too, but with some emphatic skill one could easily distinguish the sincere from the moneymakers.

Yes, you are both right, imho.. :) I certainly do not give money to every homeless person/beggar that asks.. There are some that stand out to me.. Especially of someone is mentally challenged, and clearly confused..
I ALWAYS look people in their eyes and I am always smiling and waving. Yep, I come from a small town mentality, where everyone knows each other and so everyone is always smiling and waving. I know that I haven't met everyone, but I feel that good solid eye contact and a smile is still very important.

Jake.

[Joe Sustaire]

I was in San Francisco some years back and it was common to see people sleeping overnight in doorways with cardboard and whatever they could find for bedding. I helped those that crossed my path with a handout and if they spent it on booze, so what? Who do you think might need a drink more than someone living on the street and sleeping in doorways. Not my place to judge. I also feel it's very important to look them in the eye, shake their hand, talk with them and just generally acknowledge their humanity. There but for grace go I.

[Skyhaven]

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f101/BeyondtheOsiris/Kindness-is-just-love-with-its-boots-on-Poster-taolife_zpse3bd74ae.jpg

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f101/BeyondtheOsiris/kindness-wave_square-logo_tagline_no-effects_white-background_1600p_zpsfddefbe4.png

[Skyhaven]

Some inspirational words that might belong here...

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[GarethBKK]

Yesterday a homeless man asked me for some money, I gave him some, but my intuition told me he's going to spend it on alcohol, so that left me having mixed feelings... my rational brain says no, that will not help much, but the heart says yes, because he clearly is in need of something, who am I to judge if its right or wrong what he will do with it.... curious to know your opinion on this.

What you did came from who you were at that moment. You can do no wrong because we don't really have choices. Every act ever taken by a person is a perfect expression of exactly who the person is at the moment they act, it could be no other way. Any regret you might have is based on the mistaken idea that you could have acted differently. But nobody can ever act contrary to who they are, because that's literally impossible.
Hog.


The butterfly effect - chaos theory - there is no chaos - everything is a whole, in a flow and happening for a reason. It's not happening to anyone.

If there is a constant awareness beyond thought, there is a 'knowing' of what to do in any moment: who to smile at, who to give money to, etc. Our thoughts get in the way of the awareness of this implicate order if we let them. It's not a problem - it is what it is. But, it is not the way of peace.

I live in a city of many beggars on the street. Mostly I can walk past. But, occasionally, something prompts me. Where that prompt comes from I cannot say, but it does arrive with a bliss of love, peace and joy. It is a place I have no argument with. On the most recent occasion, I was with my wife on a pedestrian overpass when we came across a woman with small child begging. I'm used to the scene, but this time I had a compulsion to give. Thought caught up and decided that as I was with my wife, and I was worried about what awkward conversation with her might arise, it was best to walk on by. A few paces past the woman and her child, my wife turned to me and said: "Do you want to give her some money?" Of course, I went back and gave. Often, we are given more than one chance to follow the way of peace.

[Skyhaven]

How does a homeless man spend 100 dollar? (and no he didn't buy liquor)
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