Feel like suicide.....

[truth4me]

:(:( I really do.Without going into details I just wish I could be beamed up off this God forsaken planet.My family has turned against me. Entities in the astral plane had a field day with me last night.....nasty things projected my way. Honesty is lost here and I'm sick of it or a lack of it. If I weren't such a coward I would kill myself for there is no joy in my Mudville. In 5 weeks I'll be homeless sleeping on the streets of Corpus Christi Tx.I have a bad hip and have applied for my disability but could be awhile. Just ready to die point blank........:(:(:(:(:(:(

[Cristian]

I love you .I really do.

Cristian

[jerry]

Hang in there because change is coming, Posthuman world by tasarion help me put things in a better light and perspective as far as the anxiety and depression , as 8, 10 months ago what you just shared was my story. Things are not really much better now but I found strength to be able to handle it and I'm sure you can too. Your a warrior from what I can tell here on Avalon were gonna need folks like you around.

[Rocky_Shorz]

you are living in the most exciting novel ever written, how could you even consider laying it down and not knowing the ending...

we are spirits here to grow, troubled waters shine our wings...

[Olam]

To be honest, apart from having compassion for you, its difficult to know what to say to help as I am not you, but I will chance this and see if it can help:
From Hermes Trismegistus: Leave the senses of the body idle for a while and the birth of divinity will arise.

One thing for sure though is keep writing here how you feel, we all are reading and that I know helps alot.

[Walter]

May there be a better light to come, and shine in your world.

[Chip]

Truth4me
I've been there too!
Stay tough, let all be as water and flow over you.
Stay the course, you are called and have a purpose!
With Love
Chip

[Tesla_WTC_Solution]

:(:( I really do.Without going into details I just wish I could be beamed up off this God forsaken planet.My family has turned against me. Entities in the astral plane had a field day with me last night.....nasty things projected my way. Honesty is lost here and I'm sick of it or a lack of it. If I weren't such a coward I would kill myself for there is no joy in my Mudville. In 5 weeks I'll be homeless sleeping on the streets of Corpus Christi Tx.I have a bad hip and have applied for my disability but could be awhile. Just ready to die point blank........:((

Stay with us Truth4me.
Survival is so hard. It really is a group effort.
When my son was born one of the nurses at his follow up said, it was a shame how little support there is in America.
She said families often have no one, that new parents struggle.

And we are all "parents" to our hopes, dreams, desires.
When these things, when these building blocks of confidence are rattled, we doubt ourselves.

If you didn't feel this pain something would be wrong.
Because it does hurt to be alone!!!

When I feel down like that, I go out to the hiking trail.
It's pretty flat, non-fatal, and I've never even seen a bear here although the coyotes are getting bold w/ tasting people.


Modern life can feel so oppressively sterile that the "escape" of death might seem like a breath of fresh air.
However suicide itself is like leaving a fart in church!!!!! :( Although we are and do feel alone, our absence (the absence of the body!) does hurt others.
It also reminds them of the human quest for meaning in life.


When people start committing suicide the rest of us have a responsibility to find out where we are missing the meaning.

I saw the young army veterans in Seattle sleeping in the streets.
am so ashamed of our country for not taking care of people.
Also in Israel last year wasn't there a self immolation of a man in a wheelchair,
his disability pension got reduced to below cost of living.


I've totally 100% been where you are now.
I am with you in my prayers.
Try to see if there is a decent shelter around (they tend to find better stuff for disabled people so tell the intake people all that stuff!!!!!!!!!)

I had to do shelter a couple times due to marital crap and disability = a slightly better situation than just going to sleep in the churches. there might be a place w/ some security and relaxed rules out there.


don't be ashamed, get pissed.

<3 Tesla

[fourty-two]

Everybody goes thru tough times. Just know that all you have to do is get thru the next minute. One minute at a time.
If you can find a 12s tep meeting (of the AA type) Go there NOW. Listen. Talk. Everyone there has ears fo you! you need not be an alcholic to go there. So go.

[conk]

Much love and many blessing sent your way. Please do not despair. Many of us have felt what you are feeling and have come through. Please give it time, please?

You don't really want to die, you just want relief from your current conditions. They will change and you'll still be here with us.

[Jake]

You are not alone. I have battled that demon too.. Please be strong. The universe knocks us down.. It teaches us strength and humility..

We will be off this rock soon enough... Don't force it,, please.. You are not alone. You have friends here,, do not believe otherwise.

Jake

[Eric J (Viking)]

I dont really know what your enviroment is feeding with regard to your experiences each day...but it will have a factor...it is all mindset...it is very difficult to change mindset if you are constantly bombarded with negative surroundings...also try hard to not focus on info fed within the mainstream set...its designed to keep you below the positive creative side of you, which we all have. This is a gift from creator god.

Truth...try thinking on another plane of activity... thus creating in a different way. Ask yourself what you really want. The rest is easy.

We all have what we have created. Period. The ptw have hijacked many minds to their gain. Dont let them take yours.

Viking

[transiten]

I've been there, believe me, don't stop communicating, seek out pple who will understand, there must be a couch to sleep on while you're trying to find a solution :grouphug:

[Billy]

A difficult OP to thank truth4me. So i thanked you for being brave enough to reach out and i thank you also for realizing that you truly do not want to leave at this time. This is not being cowardly but knowing it is not your time. Plus not wanting to cause others pain.

I was evicted from my home in Feb 2011 and became homeless, lost my car, my bank account closed. It was really not as bad in reality as it was thinking about it when building up to it. Everything works out just as it should.

I hope you have family and friends around that can offer the support you need at this time. If not you have them here in Avalon. Go to government departments for help also.

Hang on in there my friend

sending love and strength.

[Czarek]

...it is at the heart of human nature to feel pain, sadness, and all the good stuff. It makes us who we are. Human. Hang in there my friend. We're all here for you. Just ask for what you need.
Czarek

[Daughter of Time]

The entities which attack you are vultures which strike when vulnerability is at its lowest. Be strong!

Ask these entities to leave you alone! Forgive them for the torment they have caused you, for they are tormented themselves. Demand that they return to their proper place or re-join Source.

Shield yourself with a cylinder of silver light, connected to the core of the Earth beneath your feet, to the loving chord of Supreme Consciousness above your head. This has worked for me in repelling psychic attacks which I've suffered throughout my life.

Our journey on this planet can be profoundly difficult. How to make sense of it all? Trust in the process that what you're going through now will make you stronger and wiser once it has passed.

The current planetary shift will cause many to perish. Don't be one of them! As the old energy is diffusing and a higher level of consciousness is taking its place, the old must shift or die! The shift is challenging for most!

Ask the Benevolent Universe to help you change your situation. Remain true to the vision of how you wish your life to transform.

Remember that you can once again become the luminosity of who you are - a being of light!

You are stronger than you know!

Love and courage,

Daughter of Time

[Aspen]

It is good to evaluate what has kept you alive so far, what has motivated you in the past to keep going . . . . and hang on to that! Put it off for awhile by focusing on what is really you, the inner you, not on the thoughts and feelings of other entitities being projected into your mind. Many suicidal people regret attempting suicide because they end up hurting themselves in the attempt and not dying. . . . Please hang in there! It is true, also, that there are many people in government and charity organizations who sincerely have a heart to help. So just as you were able to find the strength to reach out here, pick up the phone and call a 1 800 number or take yourself to an agency. Sending love . . . .

I was suicidal for about a year some 30 years ago . . . .in the end I decided to live because I might be able to do something useful for the world that I couldn't do if I jumped off that bridge . . . . You too will have opportunities to help others, no matter where you find yourself. . . . . Here is the link to a website to help those thinking about suicide living in your area http://d2lrevolution.com/no-suicide-zone/?gclid=CMb8uMzmvsICFc1_MgoddSYAKw

[Mike]

...it is at the heart of human nature to feel pain, sadness, and all the good stuff. It makes us who we are. Human. Hang in there my friend. We're all here for you. Just ask for what you need.
Czarek


I like this: "just ask for what you need."

ive had these feelings before truth4me, and continue to have them at times. pride has no place in this space. you've shown admirable humility and emotional courage by posting this here. I applaud that.

what do you need at the moment? practically speaking, I mean. food? money? I don't have very much to give but I could scrape something up. i'll bet others here could too. one thing at a time. don't overwhelm yourself. small steps.

you'll definitely get emotional support in this thread...but if there's anything else you may need for basic survival, just ask. i'll bet more than a few will line up to help.

lots of love to you!

[RunningDeer]

My son’s suicide anniversary was yesterday. Four months after he was gone, I could not see beyond the next hour of life. I’m so grateful for choosing a different path. I continue to uncover the person I am. The one that the construct matrix fears.

We’re here for different reasons. One of mine is to continually discover and refine inner fortitude.

Another is to pay attention to inner dialogue that I use to call mine. I’ve learned most of the chatter and beliefs are frequencies that are embedded at birth, and from family and society.

I’m here also to co-create in ordinary ways. Live a simple life. Stay open to all possibility. Nix the beliefs and behaviors that I once thought were critical for a fulfilled life.

I’d not have had this opportunity if I went the route that my son did. I wish that for you truth4me. Discover your name sake little by little. YOUR Truth. Choose a dialogue that helps you walk that path. In no time, you’ll be grateful for YOUR empowered decision.

I send you love and blessings to spark your inner fortitude.

RunningDeer <3
aka WhiteCrowBlackDeer

[Sierra]

I wish I could be of help and comfort. I wish I could be sitting next to you with my arm around you. I wish you could see inside me that I care. I wish you were standing on my doorstep, and I could feed you, sit you in front of the fire, give you a safe bed.

I believe you.

Time has taught me, this too shall pass. And it does.

Despair is a lie. Don't give up. Never give up.

You have our prayers and love, dear heart.

[WhiteLove]

truth4me, I believe you are on the path of an infinitely great soul journey and on that path I believe that you will meet your soul mate and it will be infinitely great! When this time comes, I believe that you will truly know without any doubt whatsoever, that unconditional love is the key to everything and that the cosmos is an infinitely great miracle! Hang on there my friend, you are infinitely important!

Peace and unconditional love,
WhiteLove (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOuJG3gaky0)

[Agape]

Save one man = save humanity :grouphug: I hope that there are some awake Avalonians in your area or others who could be of help ,
there's great variety of people here from all walks of life , it would be stupid if your message to us had no meaning .

Perhaps you can explain some more to what brought you to this situation and what kind of assistance could be offered .

Wish you endurance , patience and Blessing


:angel:

[Truglivartna]

And so, my friend, before you started this thread you thought yourself to be alone on the Isle Of Avalon. As you can see, you are very much not alone. We have all been where you find yourself to be in this dark moment. It cannot, does not, will not continue any more than the cycles of life can fail to balance themselves with their opposites. Like us, you are simply gaining Power to the Soul through adversity just as we have done.

There is always "outside help" and it comes in ways you might least expect. It functions according to several very simple rules:

You have to ask for it
You sit there, and you keep asking, and you don't give up until help arrives.
You have to put emotion into your asking; the more the better.
You walk through any door that opens, crazy as it may seem at the moment.
And you keep on walking, and walking, and walking, one step at a time


Power To The Soul, Truth4me

Kit Cain

[transiten]

Trying to post "Keep on Walking" with Salem al Fakir without success, it says the video doesn't exist although i just listened to it on Youtube. Go find it yourself, great song and lyrics!

Hang in there and Keep on Walking!

And thankyou all for sharing your stories, i might do it as well...

[gardener2]

Dear truth4me think again too many people get hurt over losing someone to suicide, I myself went through these terrible thought's of despair, you see I found my son dead on Christmas morning some years back and my sister killed herself last year, PLEASE thing of the pain you will leave with your loved ones and friends, that pain never goes away, do you really want them to suffer? there is always a way out never give up no matter how bad things get, life is precious. fight for it appreciate it look around you many of us here have gone through this, hold on my prayers and love goes out to you, and if there is anything I can do to help do not hesitate to ask. we all love you take that love and build on it because you are important. fondest love gardener 2 xxx

[Sharkdaddy]

Hang in there Truth4me. Don't know your situation but would be willing to bet that you're not alone. I'm on company disability after 2 major back surgeries and will lose my job in Feb if can't return- & it doesn't look good. BUT, I won't let myself go negative. I'm sending you a link about a guy named Marcus Lutrell. You may know him as the "Lone Survivor", a decorated Navy Seal. Please view it.
Just remember that there is a lot of love within your heart that others need to feel - and you have to make that happen.
Love & peace,
Sharkdaddy

[Sharkdaddy]

http://yellowhammernews.com/faithandculture/lone-survivor-navy-seal-marcus-luttrells-speech-bama-football-team-will-floor/

Here is the link about Marcus Lutrell that I promised, Truth4me.
Hang in there and never give up!

[fifula]

Dear truth4me. I have no idea about your situation but you may want to look at it from 'it's just a stage' perspective. Tomorrow will bring you better vibrations. All you have to do is to tune to your positive timeline by allowing positive thinking.
Stay with us, we do really need you and most importantly love you!

[RunningDeer]

Trying to post "Keep on Walking" with Salem al Fakir without success, it says the video doesn't exist although i just listened to it on Youtube. Go find it yourself, great song and lyrics!

Hang in there and Keep on Walking!

And thankyou all for sharing your stories, i might do it as well...


Salem al Fakir - Keep on walking
0NOmReb5iCI

[Tyy1907]

:(:( I really do.Without going into details I just wish I could be beamed up off this God forsaken planet.My family has turned against me. Entities in the astral plane had a field day with me last night.....nasty things projected my way. Honesty is lost here and I'm sick of it or a lack of it. If I weren't such a coward I would kill myself for there is no joy in my Mudville. In 5 weeks I'll be homeless sleeping on the streets of Corpus Christi Tx.I have a bad hip and have applied for my disability but could be awhile. Just ready to die point blank........:(:(:(:(:(:(

Well if this is for you so be it......
When I asked for help from the Creator/God/Source things turned around. Not religiously, just me reaching out honestly and officially asking. I guess it was my way of saying "k here I am. Doing this all on my own landed me here in this mess of my own making." I don't know your circumstances or whatever but this has honestly helped me.

[Spiral of Light]

Truth4me, you posted this thread at 13:42 and already (at 16:00) many here on Avalon have come forth offering you help, support and love. You have friends here who care about you. Some of us here have been where you are now. Don't give up hope.

There is a huge life lesson that can be gained from riding out the storm of darkest despair. It is when you have been at that lowest point and feel that you cannot continue, that you will find an inner strength that you never knew you had. Look for it. You will find it. That strength will forge the turning point for your life path to move in a different direction...perhaps a direction that you never expected.

Welcoming doors will open, mentors will appear, opportunities will arise. Watch for these things to happen because they surely will.

Meanwhile, hang tight. Call on those who are here for you to help you get you through these darkest hours. I am one of them. Feel free to PM me any time.

[RUSirius]

Hello my friend, as you can see many have suffered in similar ways, myself included. Sometimes there is dark before the light, please hang in there, we are a collective as well as individuals, you and I affect us all.

[Robin]

Hi friend,

It takes a lot of courage to reach out publicly here on Avalon, and I think that was definitely a healthy thing to do.

Having just come out of a deep state of melancholy, I can offer you some advice that helped me out. A few months ago I was in a dire situation and couldn't fathom a way out. Without going into details about my situation, I'll say that I literally had rope in my hands as I contemplated using it. I chose not to reach out to Avalon publicly, but instead at least reached out to one Avalon member with the promise that if I didn't feel better after a certain time period, I would contact the greater community.

This person lent me their ear, which was what I needed. I won't say who this person is, but you can bet they have heard your plea on this very thread, and are sending you positive energy. Avalon is full of people who will do the same.

Just a few months ago I was in such a deep state of personal despair that I was ready to leave this planet. What helped me get through this melancholy were the following realizations:


If I took my life, then I would fail my mission to help humanity. My mission is what matters most to me, and to abandon it would be ultimate sorrow.
I would miss out on the greatest event humanity has seen as we all go through this vibrational transition and sovereign uprising.
All the innocent plants, animals, and people that are being decimated on a daily basis would continue to suffer if I don't keep on fighting. Every small organism counts, and if I could reach out to just one person, I will have done my duty.
The universe is entirely made up of vibrational energy, and we can manifest our thoughts into reality. Because humans share one web of consciousness, our thoughts are heard and felt by every single individual in their subconscious. Therefore, if you put out positive thoughts and emotions with serous intentions of wanting something, the universe will answer your call. You just have to let go of how and when it will manifest for you. But rest assured that as long as you have positive intentions and truly want something, then your thoughts will reverberate into the psyches of all humans who pick up on your thought-vibration, and they will be naturally attracted to you. Synchronicity will then lead you together.
The more things that I accomplish, the more that I feel good about myself and the more motivation I have for wanting to help humans (even if they are ignorant and don't encesarily deserve it). By completing a project and setting a goal, I found that I have something to look forward to. Now, I'm writing a book and have made the proclomation to myself that it will be published by April 2015.
I don't need to be living in the mountains of Ecuador to approach the coming times. If I end up stuck homeless in a city -- with no preparations and no money -- then all the more motivation to fight oppression and rally people together to overthrow this tyranny. I will be wherever I need to be and I will make the best of it, as long as I continue to do good for humanity.
I released all societal pressures and have decided that I don't need to follow the same path as everybody else. In my case, I realized that I don't need a romantic relationship in this lifetime to be happy. My mission to help humanity is where I have decided to focus all of my time and energy.
If I ended up homeless...so what! I will make the best of it and continue to spread the Truth and those who resonate with my vibration will help me along in ways unseen. In video games, if your character dies or faints or whatever, you end up back to the beginning of a level to start over. Sometimes this means starting at the very beginning of your home world after having experienced intense journeys, only to wind up back to a place full of characters you grew up with who have no idea what is on the outside of their borders (physically and metaphorically). Our reality is not unlike a video game, and sometimes we must take a step back after many steps of progress, and gather the courage and will-power to continue (even if it means needless repetition).

These realizations have worked for me, and I have beaten these stages of melancholy many times throughout my life. For me it never has been about personal issues, but always because of the low-vibrational energy put off by people who willfully remain apathetic and ignorant of our reality. I'm proud to say that I have indeed gotten something out of this last stage of melancholy, and that is the fact that I have absolutely no fear at all in my life. Since I've already faced death, death does not scare me in the least bit.

Because I don't fear death, I have more motivation than ever to place myself on "the battlefield," so to speak, of the Truth Movement. This in turn is leading me to feel better about my path, leading me to accomplish more and more. The more that I DO, the better I feel. Even if one is homeless, one can still fight the good fight. People do good in different ways, and it is the small things that matter... the small acts of kindness that can give us the most satisfaction.

My username on the forum isn't "SamwiseTheBrave" for no reason. He is the underlying hero in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, and represents the sacred Feminine aspect of the human psyche. He also represents Eastern philosophy and religion, as somewhat of a Swami (Samwise). Perhaps a few words may be of some comfort:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Soe8ayi3ScE

Keep on fighting the good fight and please understand that this is a stage. Three months from now you will realize how wonderful the universe is and how your situation has turned around for the better. I promise. :)

[Lifebringer]

The pain of the hip, can be very hurtful an sometimes cause depression. As for family turning on you and other entities...they're out there, and may enter only if you let them. I had to literally treat my family like satelights, and those of negativity like orbiting moons or "hi and bye," people in my life. Those who love you, accept you are waiting for you, when you come out of the choice to be in that negativity. It's time to be close to family, but a room in a rooming house, and traveling light while you are in this "waiting space" would probably serve you better. Do you still work, if so it's easier, if not get with a friend that is compassionate, understanding and tell them you're really making changes and need to crash until you get a job, and will clean the home if necessary as you look for jobs. Cleaning takes your mind off the negativity, also allowing you to see past what others expect of you.

God speed on the depression you're facing, cause that's what it is. Sending understanding and loving feelings of joy your way, sit down, breathe in, and let yourself go beyound your immediat, and connect dots to get there.

[Elainie]

Don't give up. Everyone goes through rough times, we just lost a friend to suicide over Thanksgiving.

[Wind]

I've been there and absolutely know the feeling and the struggles, I truly wanted to give up, but I couldn't and will not. They're just thoughts and I am not them and neither are you. I give you my love and support, you are stronger than you may think you amazing soul!

ndh2fo_cHv4

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.

[Mutchie]

I am Proud of YOU for being SO HONEST !!! I have felt really really low before like everything is going wrong at once & that your family is either against you or they are not talking to you for whatever reason - And so you feel like NO ONE CARES !!!
But BRO you have to hang in there its like swings n roundabouts with life ... Things will get better again believe me !!!
If your going to be homeless dont you have a local council you can go speak to ?? here in Aberdeen / Scotland it is the LAW that they have to house YOU so if you have NO MONEY / NO JOB They will put you into a hotel or a bed and breakfast or a hostel .... I was in one here 4 years ago and it was good fun the place was full of young women and it was a nice atmosphere maybe i was just lucky as for disability THAT TAKES AGES TO SORT HERE ASWELL !!! Keep posting

Thinking of you mate .....MUTCHIE ;)

[Rollo]

We are here to help Truth. Don't give up and don't hesitate to tell us what you need most at this moment.

Be strong! Sending positive energy your way.

[Shende]

You've been very brave in communicating your pain. That's huge and couldn't have been easy.

The people here are loving and we are all thinking of you and you are loved.

We are all here for you xx

[Deega]

:(:( I really do.Without going into details I just wish I could be beamed up off this God forsaken planet.My family has turned against me. Entities in the astral plane had a field day with me last night.....nasty things projected my way. Honesty is lost here and I'm sick of it or a lack of it. If I weren't such a coward I would kill myself for there is no joy in my Mudville. In 5 weeks I'll be homeless sleeping on the streets of Corpus Christi Tx.I have a bad hip and have applied for my disability but could be awhile. Just ready to die point blank........:(:(:(:(:(:(

Truth4me, you're on recovery, you chose to share your hard time in public, that ain't a “small thing”!

You're a child of the Universe, you're a sacred being, you then have to make another choice, no entities, no family should dominate you, you have to make it your “profound DESIRE”, and it will manifest.

Ask the Universe to be of help for your coming “homeless situation”, put in emotions in your demand with a goal in sight. Your “bad hip”, you will asked the Universe to come to your hip everyday (working with your centers of Energies – Chakras), asked that the cells surrounding you hip joint regenerate such that it will progressively become healthier.

With all the responses you already have received in Avalon, you’re on the recovery path for a better tomorrow.

The best to you my friend!

[birddog]

Dear Truth,

I have to wonder, were you in the military? If so, please go to a military hospital or veterans center, and let them know right away how you are feeling. There is a lot of help for veterans now that was not there before. Please reach out. I care, and I see that there are many many others on this forum that feel that way too.

Family relationships can go up and down, but love is love, and, even when their relationships are strained, family is family. Please share with them how you are feeling and give them a chance to help you. :)

Hugs, Love, and Light

[Natalia]

I hope things get better for you, truth4me

(((hug)))

[cloud9]

I really want to help you out..... but I can't do it if you are not interested or willing to try what I'm about to tell you. All I can say is that I have done this "technique" for many years and it never ever fails.

It's so simple and easy that it's hard to believe is so effective, it can be used for ANY problem or situation, big or small, it doesn't matter what it is, it heals everything, it solves everything, it always works, it's the best thing I have found and I want to share it with you and everybody else so here it is:

It's called "The Scientific Prayer" which is such a flamboyant name for something so simple and I read it many years ago from the book "The Golden Key" by Emmet Fox.

For ANY problem you have, you need (have to) to stop thinking about the problem and start thinking about God (the universe, the good, The Source, etc).
When you think about your problem you are increasing it and it won't stop getting bigger if you don't stop giving it energy with your thoughts. So how would you do this? Create, write, think of a sentence or more than one that expresses all qualities you can think of about God such as: God, is love, God is light, God is omnipresent, Omniscient, God is all justice, all wisdom, etc. and every single time your problem comes to mind DON'T allow your mind wander again and start thinking about the problem.
Once you realize you are thinking about the problem again, IMMEDIATELY start thinking about the qualities of God, please DON'T allow yourself TWO SECONDS thinking about the problem, two seconds is too much!

The last sentence I'm using right now goes more or less like this:

"The presence of God in my life, mind and body is constant and permanent and it lives in my heart. Thank you for all the abundance, enormous wealth, complete and perfect health in every atom and cell in my body, unconditional love I give and receive from everybody, thank you for my constant happiness and infinite wisdom in every second of my life".

It sounds better in Spanish as it has some rhythm but it changes all the time as I change the order of the words.

I start thinking about it when I'm taking a shower early in the morning and I keep on doing it in my commute and every time I remember while working.

The basic principle of it is this: When you stop thinking about the problem it dies because of lack of energy, it goes away.... at the same time you are creating something new with your new thoughts but when you think about the new you do it consciously, not like repeating by memory, you are really pondering it and you can change it a little bit every time so it feels like a new thought, go slow, contemplate it...

I just can't tell you how many times I have solved huge problems just by doing this, it's like a miracle every single time. The most important consideration when you are doing this is to know that you are creating something new and you'll MANIFEST IT, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IN THE THIRD DIMENSION, IN YOUR REALITY RIGHT NOW, it will come true, you just need to trust it will be. This simple technique will chance your life.

Here you can read the excerpt from the book, please read it.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tVeFlrJWO0-wHjwdePA-xcsSxgA8pmgKYAMTEayaZR8/edit?hl=en

Easier in video?

HoftCR3mBsg

[kanishk]

Just wait and continue living for some time, your pain will be acknowledged on the way, just wait.. If you want to cry cry, but also tell someone how you feel.

[nancyb]

One thing for sure though is keep writing here how you feel, we all are reading and that I know helps alot.[/QUOTE]

Such a difficult, dark time, I'm sure. As I was reading all the wonderful, loving responses, this struck me as perhaps what might be the most helpful to you truth4me. Keep writing and sharing and staying "in touch" during this difficult time.

[Camilo]

Hang in there bud, I've been there too. These are tough times on the planet and we must be strong as best we can. Send you all my support and understanding.

[Jean-Luc]

My brother, you are damned right.

Life can be ****ty at times with apparently no escape and no end to it.

My brother, I don't know you and I know you. Because I am feeling your suffering.

My brother, what a gift you are.
Thank you for being here and for having had the courage to share your suffering with us.
I had tears reading some of the beautiful posts in this thread.
This is thanks to you. See what the wonderful little things you are able to do even while you feel hopeless?
You, a living and beautiful and unique person.

Yes, sometimes conditions around us become pretty desperate.
Look at this tree (I took the picture last week, here closeby)
He is striving.
But I am sure he's going to make it.

All the very best to you, dear Truth4me, from my heart to your heart.

Jean-Luc

28260

[astridmari]

Dont give up.

I am trying to link Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush - Don't give up LYRICS but it wont work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9vWBWEGEnM

[Ethan]

Brother Truth4me..You can feel untill now that you are not alone.You have yourself.And you`ve reached this far seeking,enduring,and mastering,your ways to the truth about what you seek to find.THAT is not little at all..You are a warrior and a good one also.You have all of us.To support you,to speak to you,some wiser to guide you,some of us can fight for you,and some to make you laugh and maybe some to question yourself,and reach higher truths and answers.The path is not always easy my brother..You are worthy of the trip,and that is one reason-from many-why you got this far.You should be proud of yourself to endure those tests.If you were not that kind of human you would`nt be in this position.You are strong and clever.Come along brother.lets walk the mile of our life together.We need you with us,for you are one of us.No worthy man can be wasted.
Love mate.Count me on your side among with the other bros.

[Mandala]

Wow, I just saw this and felt it immediately. Please don't kill yourself. I know it seems hopeless and helpless right now. But things will change. There are those good souls that will help you, and you are loved and valued here.

I know you said you were in the Corpus Christi area. I found a few resources that may or may not be to your liking, but here they are:
The local branch of the Salvation Army may able offer some programs. They offer access to an educational scholarship program, homeless shelters and services, and some critical financial assistance for emergency expenses. Some of what may be paid for includes rent, air conditioning bills, and holiday assistance. Thousands of Corpus Christi families receive help every year. (361) 850-1161, or learn about other resources from Nueces Salvation Army.

Another local non-profit is the Nueces County Community Action Agency, which can be reached at (361) 883-7201. Some of the services they offer include assistance with utility bills from the Comprehensive Energy Assistance Program (CEAP). This utility program may help with the payment of an air conditioning or utility bill, repair or replacement of an appliance or AC unit, or cash grants. They also can from time to time provide rental help, and other housing/mortgage assistance. In addition, people who live in rural parts of the county can gain access to various food programs and resources.

Several other programs are offered by the community action agency - NCCAA. Emergency financial aid may be available for rent or utility bills, and is often combined with weatherization. Other resources may be free food, job training, or deposit assistance for those seeking a new home. Or look into the federal government Head Start program in Nueces County. Learn more.

Coastal Bend AIDS Foundation – Individuals with HIV or AIDs can apply for financial assistance and social services. Get information on various support services and financial assistance programs. Funds can provide emergency payments for utilities, money for rent, dental services, health insurance, transportation assistance, and medication. 400 Mann Street, Suite 800, Corpus Christi, Texas 78401, phone number is (361)814-2001

Wesley Community Center is a non-profit organization in Nueces County. The organization is dedicated to aiding those less fortunate. The agency was established over 70 years ago in both Corpus Christi and Robstown. They offer food, children's day care, articles of gently used clothing, and other types of assistance. The address is 4015 MacArthur, Corpus Christi, Texas 78416, or call (361) 880-8300.

If you don't have any idea what to do next, head for your local fire station, find a man or woman there and tell them how you feel, straight from your heart. Say can you help me? I just feel this will be of great assistance to you. Not sure exactly why, but it popped into my head suddenly.

Earth school is hard as hell. Many of the lessons we are learning seem way too difficult. I don't want to lose anyone else in our graduation class.

You are loved.
You are needed.
You have a purpose.
There is hope.
There is help.

Susan/Mandala

[Deega]

Is there anyone here who knows him personally, we didn't hear from him since the opening of the Tread?

[Billy]

Just to ease your minds, Truth4me logged in to Avalon about 3hrs ago.

Keep in touch my friend.

[Limor Wolf]

Is there anyone here who knows him personally, we didn't hear from him since the opening of the Tread?

I am sorry to be following, but it seems Truth4me have registered about three hours ago. We will sure hear from him when the time is right. In the meantime, love and strengthening energies are send his way ~

[Czarek]

Good news. He's getting help.

[Cardillac]

according to a psychic (if she is credible) that my last life's partner consulted about 20 yrs. ago concerning me I committed suicide in all of my last 6 lives; in my last life, supposedly, I took my life (was a man) in N. Italy in 1943 at the ripe old age of 26 (but wasn't Italian according to her) during WW2; before that my last very extremely short 5 lives (all as women) were in Romania; my entire family comes from Siebenbürgen, the German/Hungarian speaking area within the mysterious Carpathian mountains in Romania;

so if all of this is true you can see where suicide got me: THIS LIFE, with all of its tribulations!- "such a deal"!

I've often had suicidal thoughts but figure it's just not worth the effort; we just may exchange one yoke for an even heavier one-

please stay well all-

Larry

[LoneWolf76]

My friend, I can only give you some words of encouragement. I wish I had more. I can tell you that despite the hardship you endure, this IS a lesson from life that you agreed to go through before you arrived on this planet. All struggle in life, however unfair and sh1tty it may be, is a chance for you to BE YOU. When you do, the universe will look after you and you will come out the other side with something AMAZING that you never could have predicted.

I have had many hardships in my life, but my family (foster family, mother, brother and 2 sisters) don't seem to have had any. Except my mother, but her hardships seem to have emotionally damaged her, as she can't empathise with anyone. My family don't seem to see the hardships as being hardships, so maybe they are incapable of empathy too, I don't know. I do know that they don't view the world like I do. This is ongoing and I am trying to figure it out. The last 2 years have been hard as hell. I moved in with my single mother girlfriend because she was very ill (Glandular Fever) and couldn't cope. I'd no idea what I was getting into, and it was rough - nearly finished us on several occasions. With my help, we started her on AMATSU treatment (which would help you loads), this worked, and other problems she had were fixed also - too long to go into now. After a year, and about a month of feeling good, she became pregnant. I do admit to being partially responsible, but only partially. ;)

Her entire pregnancy, she suffered from severe Hyperemesis - essentially hyper-vommiting - not good, specially when pregnant. My family don't seem to care, how hard it was on her, how hard it was on me, how hard it was on my son, or on our unborn child.

Last night my baby girl was born. At Home. After 17 hours of labour. I cried. I have the most beautiful fantastic family. We're about to start doing the things we want and need to help change this world. We're about to start being a happy family, instead of the knackered family. After 2 years of hell, I have found heaven.

You will too my friend. BE YOU!

BE LOVE!

[Milneman]

Pick up the phone and call 911. Right now. Tell them you want to commit suicide.

I'm not joking.

If you're serious, phone 911 right now.

[LoneWolf76]

Pick up the phone and call 911. Right now. Tell them you want to commit suicide.

I'm not joking.

If you're serious, phone 911 right now.

I don't think that's great idea. In the current climate they're more likely to shoot you. It's happened many times.

[RunningDeer]

Last night my baby girl was born. At Home. After 17 hours of labour. I cried. I have the most beautiful fantastic family. We're about to start doing the things we want and need to help change this world. We're about to start being a happy family, instead of the knackered family. After 2 years of hell, I have found heaven.

You will too my friend. BE YOU!

BE LOVE!


LoneWolf76, congratulations to
You, and your Family
Welcome, Baby Girl

Sneaker-steps
onward
in discovery

Continued blessings of
joy, peace, health
and Love

http://avalonlibrary.net/paula/Angels/Adidas_gold2_zps56bd2aa5.JPG


RunningDeer <3

[belljoshua565]

Truth4me
I won't write long stories on what you should or should not do. I have one very simple question. I want to help, Hoiw can I help? Please, Please let me know.

[Camilo]

truth4me, please check out this illuminating video when you have a chance.

A Way Out of Pain - Matt Kahn/TrueDivineNature.com

http://youtu.be/B3zKwZqfWrY

(I recomend you check this piece between: 9:05 min - 10:50 min)

Published on 12/01/2014

Matt Kahn is a spiritual teacher, mystic, and highly-attuned empath. Matt's spontaneous awakening arose out of an out-of-body experience at the age of 8, and his direct experiences with ascended masters and archangels throughout his life. Many spiritual seekers have experienced amazing, unexplainable healings, and have awakened to their true nature through his profound and loving teachings and his transmission of sacred heart wisdom.

Namaste.

[Dennis Leahy]

... I just wish I could be beamed up off this God forsaken planet...
I have said the same thing (though no one - not me or anyone else - is going through exactly the same thing as you are right now.) I have also said that if reincarnation is real and I have a choice, I don't want to come back (unless needed.)

Can I ask you a question? This may seem irrelevant due to the pressures you're feeling right now, but: what is your great passion in life? What do you just LOVE to do? There has to be a way to help you get to that soul-satisfying activity - maybe it cannot be done within 5 weeks, but it is worth a try. Every step toward that goal is part of the journey.

My second (and last) question is: do you volunteer? Volunteering at soup kitchens or homeless outreach centers is a great way to give back to the community - and in case your timetable comes true, then at least you will know a few people at these centers - and if you DO need help, they will help you.

Dennis

[sijohn]

I am not sure that I can add anything that has not been said, but wish to reflect and reinforce the genuine concern that has been and will continue to be shown here.
My thoughts, best wishes, and love I send to you

Sijohn

[transiten]

truth4me, sign up on www.thespiritchannel.net created by Wynn Free; you can either call today at ca 10.15 AM or listen afterwords. He's working with Carla Rueckert, Terry Brown and The Law of One.

Wynn was on Coast to Coast with George Noory the other day and this is a special meet and greet:
Access nr 712 775 7085 pin 692442# and if you miss the call replay 712 7 75 7089 same pin.

[onawah]

I have posted some personal experiences with suicide which may help give some insight into the subject here: http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?76612-Links-Discussions-A-major-new-interview-with-a-Project-Avalon-Whistleblower&p=911840&viewfull=1#post911840
Hoping that is helpful.

[Pam]

Truth4me, I have noticed that there has been no response from you on this thread. I think you can see all the concern for you here. Would you please let us know that you are ok. I checked, and don't see any activity on your account here since you initiated your thread. Please, let us know that you are ok. Sending you love, Pam

[Milneman]

Pick up the phone and call 911. Right now. Tell them you want to commit suicide.

I'm not joking.

If you're serious, phone 911 right now.

I don't think that's great idea. In the current climate they're more likely to shoot you. It's happened many times.

On the contrary. The reality is if a person is borderline suicidal, I think the sanest thing in the world they could do is seek medical attention.

[Tesla_WTC_Solution]

now we see dimly, as in a mirror; when the time comes we shall see face to face
~apostle paul

praying for you truth4me

[Olam]

Truth4Me,
See how your suffering is bringing out the best in all of us and I hope you too.
I am not one to pursue collecting "thanks" from other members, but with your thread, I see the viability of this function.
See how everyone is thanking everyone for their humanity towards yourself and everyone else.
I don't know if you can thank your own thread, but if you can, please press that button.
You might feel isolated in many ways with what you are going thru, but in many other ways, we are all just like you.
We truly all are one and so we share your suffering but it also means you can share our hope and newly found wisdom after having crossed that mountain.

[Debra]

28270

Hope you see this ...

With love from me too ;)

[LoneWolf76]

truth4me, I just saw this in a moment of synchronicity. I have to agree what it. Hang tough buddy!

http://www.newearth.media/a-seed/

Love

LoneWolf (alone, but not alone)

[RunningDeer]

truth4me, I just saw this in a moment of synchronicity. I have to agree what it. Hang tough buddy!

http://www.newearth.media/a-seed/

Love

LoneWolf (alone, but not alone)

From the article: "When discussing this topic many, many years ago, a very close friend of mine said that one should “go directly into the pain, sit with the pain, make the pain a close friend.” I never quite understood what that meant then. However, it’s quite clear now."

This was similar to my experience. Out of sheer desperation and months of grief and sadness, the physical body took on the red-hot-poker pain. That is until I could go no further. I gave up and collapsed to the ground in the dead of winter.

No more tears came. No sobs. Only silence. I landed in the center of blessed silence. No need to think or wonder or feel. Nothing.

When I got up, I thought it snowed until I took a closer look. There were tiny, tiny feathers all around me. I don’t know how many I collected. Lots. When I checked, I watched them disappear in my hand like snowflakes. And as if on cue, the feathers that had outlined my body did the same.

<3

[Arc]

Hey folks, I just wanted to share, what I feel are some heart-felt inspirational videos, by a big and big-hearted fellow, like myself, from on youtube. I hope these videos can give you some perspective from another person who arguably has reasons to be suicidal, but overcame it, and hopes to help others hang in there and find happiness. These helped me, so I wanted to share them.

HZ1cUup0ATg

Thoughts on Suicide:

Rlw7qPxaLw8

Here is another good one on the Topic of Hope:

aDMxJ2ofZhE

[Tangri]

First I thought my interference is not needed here, but I am compelled with my depth to my background to contribute some.

What you refuse to accept will continue for you. If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to be negative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence. You can not think of two things at the same time. When our focus is on Spiritual Values, it is impossible for us to have lower thoughts such as greed or anger.

Surrender to the moment with your body, it is existence is your path to salvation. Depression is an old excuse for dominion to erase current cultures for long time.

[rgray222]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-FXLS24yu9EI/VI-HwjqHQhI/AAAAAAAAgYE/DHi643EGMf4/w479-h467-no/permanent.jpg

[GoodETxSG]

First I thought my interference is not needed here, but I am compelled with my depth to my background to contribute some.

What you refuse to accept will continue for you. If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to be negative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence. You can not think of two things at the same time. When our focus is on Spiritual Values, it is impossible for us to have lower thoughts such as greed or anger.

Surrender to the moment with your body, it is existence is your path to salvation. Depression is an old excuse for dominion to erase current cultures for long time.

As one myself diagnosed with one of the forms of PTSD...
Forget this crap from ignorant people who just want to stir things every chance they can (Psychological Profiles do not lie after they reveal themselves after a given amount of time...)

3 of my best friends that went through the VA were put on waiting lists or disparaged and ended up taking their own lives. DO NOT GO TO THE VA!!!!

Seek help through one of the NGO Charity Organizations for Veteran's with Trauma based Anxiety disorders or "Combat Related PTSD".

Do not listen to any of the absolute intillectually depraved and retarted people that disparage you for the PTSD Label... Screw them and the family members, freinds and employers that cast you in the same box as the few misdiagnosed and maltreated individuals with PTSD who have acted out in a negative or violent way...

Speaking from Truth, Wisdom and Experience... all other is pi$$ in the wind. A GI commits suicide every 80 minutes... Ignore all of the idiots that speak from ignorance... I had to pick the lock of a friends door just to open that door to hit his feet as he was hanging from the banister of his stair well... Do not be a statistic...
Those that demean those experiences or support the "Exit of those souls" from this troubled life should be cast out on their ears... They speak out of ignorance and dogma and know nothing of which they speak in this particular context. The people that were lost were wonderful people, fathers and friends who were loved and have left a hole in the lives of many.

A Veteran Commits Suicide Every 80 Minutes
“Center For A New American Security Study Reveals Startling Statistic.”
http://www.veteranstoday.com/2011/11/02/a-veteran-commits-suicide-every-80-minutes/

[sandy]

Hi Truth4me,

My heart aches not only for you but the loss of my baby brother who hung himself just a few short weeks ago.....................even if you don't believe it you will be sorrowly missed.

I have been to the depths of hell myself and understand just wanting it all to end. The last time, I made a decision that I would give life one LAST shot and set out to make the changes I needed to make. I too had no family at the time who understood and were basically kicking me in the ass, so I walked away from them all and stayed away from all but one of them (my beloved baby brother) for over 3 years.

I lost all identity in my roles in life including Mother, Sister, Daughter, Friend, Aunt, Worker, etc,. and it was very frightening but the best thing that could have happened in hindsight. I realized that all my worth came from others telling me I did good and patting me on the back and that I really had no "self worth". I had self esteem and self confidence but it never compensated when the chips were really down because of no self worth.

I worked diligently on myself in the area of mindfulness and took control of the non stop playing of negative tapes. I utilized a free copy of 'The Master Key' from the internet and followed the exercises weekly and to my amazement I gained many new skill sets in managing my mind, but the best and biggest learning was realizing that I am the "OBSERVER" not the ego and this learning alone provided the skill of detachment in areas that were highly appropriate. This was the beginning of an authentic healing and closing of the hole and emptiness within that I have tried to heal all my life (much education, personal counseling, workshops, and positive changes, etc over the years) and my self love and worth blossomed and continues to, as a result. I have literally become my best friend versus worst enemy.

I do hope that you will find another way to release some of your pain and know that reaching out takes courage even though we feel weak and unloveable. It is one of the most courageous things we can do as we are terribly vulnerable, almost to the similarity of a very small abused child with great big eyes reaching out a hand for help. Even more difficult sometimes is accepting the helping hand after reaching out as this too is scary because of being so vulnerable. I don't know about you but for me I just wanted to hide, so if you are feeling this way hey no biggy, it will tone down after awhile and you will get through it with knowing you are of worth and there are many who truly care and know you are of worth, not because of what you do but -JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN!!

I respect you and whatever your decision is, as I did my baby brothers. That is what free choice is all about. I love him just as much and always will, I just miss him tremendously. May you find Peace along your journey. Much Love My Friend

[Truglivartna]

Sometimes when we're feeling lost, or rejected, or uncertain as to whether there is any sense in slogging on into the unknown, a story -- particularly a story spoken by someone who has been where you are in some literal or figurative way -- will take your mind off what appears to be a dead-end street and refresh your thoughts with new ideas to contemplate or be entertained by while the gears of time slowly grind out your new future helped along by new ideas gained from the soul of a true story told in the first person.

The African Bushmen were master story tellers; their entire history over thousands of years -- including the education of their children to the harsh ways of desert survival -- were contained in an endless flow of stories memorized and told by the much-venerated tribal storyteller who would often remark:


"The story is like the wind; it comes from a far-off place....and we feel it."

I give you my own "story like the wind" in the hopes that it will take your mind off your present, temporary predicament long enough for the "Source Of All Stories" to blow you a fresh new wind, and you will feel it not only in the events of your life, but deep within the soul of your being as you continue to write your own story long into the future.


http://projectavalon.net/TheChasmCrossed.pdf

Keep in mind that my story has been 78 years in the writing...a long time to maintain hope, faith, belief -- and finally true knowledge -- as the ultimate truth slowly seeps into the mind from the higher reaches of the soul. That 78 years traverses what is today one of the more difficult points in time/space -- that being the culmination of a negative Planet Earth cycle thousands of years long. It means that the time we live in today is the "night that is darkest just before the break of day". Hang in there Truth4me. You can't afford to miss the best part which is yet to come.

Kit Cain

[Quantum Odyssey]

Hi truth4me!
It's interesting because I have been hastily putting together a message for healing those who are experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts. As I was composing it " Project Avalon" kept flashing in my mind. I knew I would need to post it tonight, when I opened the forum and saw your post I was flooded with chills! Please contact me in PM here or on my site that's on my profile here for directions on how to receive healing light energy and to be added to my ongoing Healing List!

You can go to this video I created that has light codes and sound codes in order to immediately raise your frequency and assist you at this moment!

http://youtu.be/rcv8fabIXsA

Peace, love and light to you my friend!
Mindy

[lizfrench]

Truth4me, although Mother Earth can be difficult to navigate at times, don't forget...she does provide you with anything you need. Don't be afraid, she IS YOUR FAMILY, and so are we. So, if you have to go out into the world just remember you are your own captain and you can navigate these tumultuous waves of life. Whatever you want you can have, just ask with intent and keep moving, Mother Earth will take care of you. But know that you must take of you too. And keep in touch with us, let us know what your adventures are.

[dim]

but this is exactly you ended up form last suicide, did you forget ?
you think you gona get away with it that easy ?
nope... sorry.

[Innocent Warrior]

I hope you are still here. Please stay. xo

[RunningDeer]

I hope you are still here. Please stay. xo

truth4me (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?735-truth4me) is still here. The last visit was Monday, December 29th. Sometimes it's hard to find threads. If that's the case, I left a link to this one on his message board (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?735-truth4me).

<3

[Flash]

The best thing for suicidal thoughts and deep depression:

go out and walk fast, kick a tree, and walk again fast, scream, kick a tree and walk again. Do not stay home, take the last stretch of strenght you have and walk outside.

Shut the god dam computer and a diet of conspiracy free time - no more conspiracy forums and videos - for a month or more.

take your legs and walk out, a brisk walk.

This still perked me up the last time around.

[Innocent Warrior]

I hope you are still here. Please stay. xo

truth4me (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?735-truth4me) is still here. The last visit was Monday, December 29th. Sometimes it's hard to find threads. If that's the case, I left a link to this one on his message board (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?735-truth4me).

<3

Thank you very much, RunningDeer. xo