Are you unhappier now since your "awakening"?

[awakeningmom]

Hello,

As my chosen user name indicates, I tend to see myself as being in some (early) stage of “awakening” at this point in my life. I realize “awakening” is a highly subjective and potentially offensive term to some (as in, I’m awake and YOU are sleeping). But for me, it simply means that my view of reality has been challenged, destroyed, and expanded on several fronts – political, historical, financial, spiritual. This awakening process is still in its infancy for me -- it’s been less than two years -- and I’ve spent the better part of these last two years reading voraciously, watching documentaries, attending consciousness/conspiracy conferences, participating on this forum, etc – probably all in an attempt to discover some elusive truth about who we are, who I am, and ultimately how to help humanity escape from what seems to be an ever-increasing and intentionally constructed nightmare.

Unfortunately, at times I feel overwhelmed by all this new found information/knowledge – and sometimes think that I was much happier before I begun this awakening process. Before, I had a comfortable life, a normal family, a satisfying career, and good friends who I thought were open-minded and curious. I voted down-the-line democrat, held (largely liberal) opinions of the world, and thought the world was messed up in places, but that we were still in the best country in the world…..

Fast forward almost two years later, and that (blissfully naïve) life seems forever irretrievable. I’ve lost some friends (not all) over my radical change, and I often feel so depressed/overwhelmed about just how awful the world is. I don’t trust my government anymore, I don’t trust any “leaders” (even in the alternative field), I don’t even trust doctors or the medical community. Instead, I worry about toxic vaccines, chemtrails, psychotropic medications, fluoridated water, GMO’s, false flags, intentional genocide, extreme wealth disparity – not to mention the NWO and its possible agenda, which is possibility aided/instigated by off-world negative entities? It’s so much to take in.

While I try to do my small part in trying to change some of the things that concern me now (mostly in the health related arenas), I can’t help but feel somewhat helpless in the face of so many problems and with the understanding that all of this could be a concerted effort to eliminate much of humanity. This depression and feeling of helplessness is deepened whenever I’ve tried to discuss such topics with close friends and family, who not only resist hearing the information but who often make jokes about my being a “conspiracy theorist” now.

I don’t mean to unload here, and I'm sure others have already gone down this road many times before, but sometimes I wonder what the point of my “awakening” was. Part of my reason for questioning this is because I have often felt guided by something, and I guess a part of me feels like this “awakening” was supposed to happen to me—i.e., that I was lead to the information at precisely the right time in my life. But it certainly doesn’t feel good a lot of the time and I don’t even know what I can do about the darker aspects of the world on any meaningful scale anyway (is trying to tell a few people enough? ) Yes, in many ways, the world has become a much more interesting place for me, but it’s a much darker place than I imagined.

So a few questions for the forum:

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

I would love to hear others' experiences and thoughts....:o

[shadowstalker]

Nope, since i was born partially awake anyway, the rest was more like confirmation.. :cool:

[Tesla_WTC_Solution]

I hope you don't mind if I play with your questions!!

1.) Awakening is gradual for some, sudden for others. It very hard to describe. I guess it could be described as shifting awareness.
Like a tide that lifts a raft from a beach in the dark -- we feel the pull -- but do not realize we are voyaging until the daylight comes.
How does one define a physical awakening? Is it as simple as filling a cup with enough information to yield something to taste?
Is awakening a simple motivation to search and to find? Realizing that we are not as satisfied with the milk and rather wanting the meat of life.

2.) Pain, surprise, trial and error, disgrace. Doubts, labels, the whole nine yards. Hospitals, police, government agents, frenemies in the family, lol.
My feelings about this process are a mix of awe, horror, despair, hope, trepidation. Like looking into the maelstrom without a boat. I have had enormous doubts,
but community and also the reinforcement brought by suspicion come true, helps to banish those doubts. Also in the Helpful Corner we have the Ghost of Academic Success.

3.) It takes an absolutely enormous amount of physical energy for some people to maintain the mindset of wakefulness; perhaps these people are not entirely awake, but caught in the struggle to awaken.
I think fear plays a really huge role in this battle. Society tries to tell us that people who "let go" of themselves are the crazy ones, but truly, to awaken fully, letting go of the ego is necessary and personally I am not at the point where my Inner Groundhog is ready to see the Light/Shadow LOL. And yes to answer that last question, there are certain agendas that really pull me in. SOme for good and some for ill, but usually it's important.



Thank you for this thread. :)

[aranuk]

Hi awakeningmum, I felt the same way as you do now after a few years watching all the videos on Camelot. Initially I was shocked, but the truth is easier to bear. Ignorance is bliss comes to mind readily here. I think after the shock has a time to quietly digest it becomes more bearable. I find there are many uplifting videos out there to cheer me up. Watch Dr Bruce Lipton he might cheer you up with his approach. There are many others too although I can't think of them at the moment. When I do I will report them. Deepak Chopra came to mind. And Gregg Braden. I know my world almost turned upside down when I watched the videos on Camelot. As I walked along the street I used to think to myself all these people walking about have no friggin idea what this world is really like. There must be a lot of people here on Avalon that have known all these thing for a lot longer period than a few years. I knew about the bankers ruling the world for many years and all the corruption in governments and such like politics. But the ET presence and them having a helping with our human condition I had no inkling at all. I knew of course that there were lots of UFO sightings and I would shrug my shoulders and say something like aye they are probably from outer space. I used to like Star Trek with Captain Kirk and Spock so maybe I was prepared in some light hearted fashion but I didn't think it was real, for real. No way. I like you got some strange looks from family members and close friends who also called me a conspiracy theorist. You can tell the really brainwashed people they are the ones who say this the most. So you have to tone it down a wee bit in their company. I hope my post is helpful to you. A year maybe and you will be more comfortable I'm sure.

Stan

PS I forgot to mention I still have lots of friends who are political on the left and they are the ones I feel the most sorry for. They think that we have a choice when we vote. Haha. I am very careful with them because if you destroy their illusion they are left with nothing at all. They are better left thinking their own way because you would be seen as destructive and they would hate you. Honestly I do not know which people are the most likely to agree with us. I usually now keep quiet outside unless I get the right moment in the right company.

[giovonni]

Of my memories growing up, i can only describe as never really being happy ...
something was always felt wrong with the world as i observed it ... there were
times of joy and contentment ... but those were often fleeting in durations ...

If there is such a thing as finding happiness after awakening ... for me it is in
realizing there is no going back and i am now more than happy in knowing that.

[joeecho]

I found a cycling of emotions through the awakening process but, now, overall....definitely happier.

[aranuk]

Young people maybe between 25-35 are the ones I find who I can talk to about these things. They are open minded and broadminded as they grew up with the internet.

Stan

[donk]

You have to learn how to not "take it personally". It is what it is, and "all is well" is a mindset, not a given.

Continued growth, specifically in the emotional maturity aspect, is a constant, lifelong journey that can be very rewarding....once you learn loving detachment.

It gets easier, I promise...the most painful and upsetting to me was learning how most everything I was taught is a lie.

Once I learned how to not take that as some kind of attack, it was much easier to function, and find real happiness.

You are not alone.

[aranuk]

Of my memories growing up, i can only describe as never really being happy ...
something was always felt wrong with the world as i observed it ... there were
times of joy and contentment ... but those were often fleeting in durations ...

If there is such a thing as finding happiness after awakening ... for me it is in
realizing there is no going back and i am now more than happy in knowing that.

You're damned right Giovonni, there's no going back for sure!

Stan

[Conehead]

Sometimes to much change to fast freaks people out.

[naste.de.lumina]

Of my memories growing up, i can only describe as never really being happy ...
something was always felt wrong with the world as i observed it ... there were
times of joy and contentment ... but those were often fleeting in durations ...

If there is such a thing as finding happiness after awakening ... for me it is in
realizing there is no going back and i am now more than happy in knowing that.

You're damned right Giovonni, there's no going back for sure!

Stan

Definitely, you can not unlearn cycling.

[Becky]

Thanks you for asking these questions...very apt and relevant. As I was reading the responses I just got a sudden picture of awareness. Stan wrote...

"They think that we have a choice when we vote. Haha. I am very careful with them because if you destroy their illusion they are left with nothing at all. They are better left thinking their own way because you would be seen as destructive and they would hate you. Honestly I do not know which people are the most likely to agree with us. I usually now keep quiet outside unless I get the right moment in the right company."

I think that as more and more people wake up, those of us that ARE more awake will provide the structure and basis for the framework for living for those that have taken longer to see things the way they really are. So while it may feel very hard for them at first, there is a greater (and growing) support network of awakened people to hopefully provide a foil and soften the blow and also to lead the way. By the time the 'slower-to-wake' people wake up, new processes will hopefully be in place by those of us who woke earlier. If this long-winded explanation makes sense lol. It really is harder for those pioneers and whistleblowers that paved the way. The rest of us follow and awaken in our own time triggered by curiosity or crisis or both.
Until then, those of us who awaken before our family, friends and peers will be open to criticism and skepticism - we have to either tread a careful path or just stride forth in our truth.

[white wizard]

I first woke up at the age of 17 after studying anti gravity and reading an article
about how it was being kept secret. At the age of eight I saw the craft known as
the TR3B, while driving down the highway of lower New York. I put the two
events together and realized this there was something more to this world than
what school was teaching me. I went into shock for a good while and thought
the world was coming to and end in 2012, after falling for all the disinformation
on the internet. I felt so alone, because everyone was asleep around me and
I could not talk to anyone about what I knew without feeling like they thought I was
crazy. I suffered from clinical depression for many years and escaping this world
became my top priority for many years. Luckily my higher self stepped in many
times and prevented my attempts to leave the planet from being successful.

In 2009, I discovered Delores Cannon and she opened my eyes to reincarnation.
Her information hit me deep and I finally accepted being here. I rapidly
awoke even more and left my state of constant fear to an understanding this
planet was a school and I chose to come here. My depression ended and I had
a huge psychic awakening to where I began seeing energy everywhere. When
I shut the lights off at night my room would light up with green and violet
energy. I could also see the white energy field that surrounds people. I still
see these colors today.

Much has changed since 2009 and I have slowly learned what my journey as a
being in this universe is. I do not fear really anything anymore. I know this
planet is not my home, but I do have a job here and I have met others like
myself, which has given me some comfort. I do not think I will ever be happy
being here to be completely honest, but I have come to terms with why I am
here. This has given me the push I need to finish this lifetime with my head
held high. I still remember being on a planet with a pure sun light that was
a form of white light I have yet to see in this reality. Every time I get
down I think of that light and planet and it makes me smile.

[Sunny-side-up]

Of my memories growing up, i can only describe as never really being happy ...
something was always felt wrong with the world as i observed it ... there were
times of joy and contentment ... but those were often fleeting in durations ...

If there is such a thing as finding happiness after awakening ... for me it is in
realizing there is no going back and i am now more than happy in knowing that.

You're damned right Giovonni, there's no going back for sure!

Stan

Definitely, you can not unlearn cycling.

I won't be happy until we see this through and the new earth is really into a Golden way of being, which is where it should be already.
I say this though, I am very happy that more and more are becoming unhappy 0.0

[varuna]

At first I experienced more of a spiritual awakening, then found Kerry Cassidy and watched most of the video's on there, it was both exhilarating and scary at the same time to come to all this new information. Then one day I saw David Icke on one of Kerry's video's and then thought..oh I'll check him out. I remember feeling like a naughty child reading his stuff and thinking no...I mustn't read this, 'what will people think! It makes me smile now to think of how I was in those early days..

I'm now comfortable with a wide range of ideas, concepts, world views etc; I don't always agree with it all, nevertheless I feel it has been a worthwhile journey. I've lost friends along the way, but made some fantastic new ones.

What is interesting to me, is that I try and think back to a moment when things changed for me...when was that sliding door moment that lead to this moment writing this ..:biggrin:

[Selmir1984]

OO Since i am born and all my life i am unhappy..there are times i feel happy but not so realy..its like something is missing or i am alone and not with those that i love or i lost something..its always there is something that is in my mind that i cant resonate with many people ..also a few i know that i can be happy or i feel there are same and feel same as i....is always in my mind that says me..i will go home..i dont belong here...and all what i know and tell others about this what i know the laugh at me and i am always alone..i cant no more when is this all over....
and i am awake since i am in the early ages and yet i am 31.. ..but ewery day iám more and more awake...

[betoobig]

Hello awakeningmom. I got you.. i know the point you are at. Take for sure that "so above so below" what yuo have inside will be outside (ya, easy to say)... do not try to con-vence others with the info you are shallowing, they may not be ready that´s all... one frase that helped me is. We are all alike, the only difference is the point of evolution in which each of us are. Don´t worry either about loosing some friends, you will attract people in the same point of evolution as you are. Awakening is a must even though it ain´t easy... in order to raise your vibration you need awarness which comes from knowing... trust your intuition for discerment. Focus on yourself and do what you really feel at the moment trying to live in the now... Meditation has helped me a lot, grounding a lot walking in nature as much as you can... try to find the silence within...
i just need to read your post to see you are in the right path... just breath just believe...
Let me repeat what Donk said, you are not alone (if you ever feel a l o n e put a second l a l l o n e)
I know part of the truh is so bitter but the other part of the truh empower us so much that things are changing allready.
Take care my friend and thanks so much for sharing this moment of yours so special/crucial.
Love

¤=[Post Update]=¤

PS: and don´t forget Karma is a tricked game

[naste.de.lumina]

The completion, the size and the complexity of these entangled quantum realities can be overwhelming and recurrent.

It seems that reality is fantasy and fantasy is reality after all.

Our consciousness has the ability to collapse probability waves in materials perceptions, and it makes a lot of difference in a quantum universe that responds fulfilling these desires.

On the other hand this 'new reality (s)' opens fascinating possibilities when viewed from the point of view of a 'singularity' self-conscious.

In this spiritually quantum perspective, our limit is our imagination capacity. I get excited with this self-awareness.

I definitely do not want to be a victim.

But letting go, things inherent to this world can be painful.

[Michelle Marie]

Oh, awakening mom, I'm so glad you started this thread.

I was spiritually awakened at a young age, but the truth awareness information flooded into my life Around 2007. I watched Kerry and Bill on Project Camelot and did a lot of research. You can get into a lot of rabbit holes, but finally all the pieces come together. Then, when the H1N1 flu shot was being pushed through the public schools, I had to quit and not participate. My intuition, my observations, and my direct life experiences have exposed crimes against humanity.

Although the larger part of my Self realizes this is what I came to help with, I have experienced deep disappointment for humanity. That it is all a Light show does not abate my feelings of compassion and the urge to do as much as possible to help. I'm also in the process of recovering from the deep impact from my experience with police brutality and the subsequent lack of justice. Growing pains....

The good part is that this is inspiring more activation and a focus on solutions. I'm learning a lot. I can tell by what you said that I truly know how you feel.

Let's keep each other strong. Victory of the Light is certain. It's comforting to remember that.

Compassion for us all -- we are birthing new states of Being.

Lots of love,
Michelle Marie

[Innocent Warrior]

When I ask these questions, I see an image.

Darkness to the left, light to the right.

The light streams in, at the speed of light, towards the darkness and hits into the darkness. The light is so fast it creates a huge indent in the darkness. The darkness becomes so dense it begins to bend and curve around the light. The light continues to stream in, it's speed unhindered but because of the density of the darkness, the indent doesn't become any bigger. The light continues to stream in, spinning and swirling, becoming brighter and brighter.

The conflict is intense. An immovable object versus an unstoppable force. This could go on forever.

We want to remove the object but how?

Stop moving. Let go of the need to remove the object. Just observe with zero judgement. Observe only. Actually do this.

Something miraculous happens.

The object vanishes. No darkness. Nothing. Nonexistence. The definitions are gone and all that's left is the now brighter, expanded, radiating light. Existence.

Be and see, "there is no spoon".

The choice to incarnate here and become unconscious gives rise to the experience of darkness. Awakening to consciousness gives rise to expansion, feedom and peace. Humanity has cried out for peace and freedom. The universe is ever expanding.

And here we are, awakening.

[Jules]

Thank you for your post awakeningmom. I don't feel awake, due to the fact that the more I research, the less I know. Sometimes I think I understand a topic, only to find out there is more to the story. I need more critical thinking as I examine what is around me, so thinking does affect my happiness for the better. Some issues are very sad, I feel no control over a lot of those issues, so in some ways I am not happy. My friends and family sometimes think I'm crazy when I tell them it doesn't matter if you vote Republican or Democrat, they are on the same team! or if I mention that voting doesn't matter, but at least you'll feel better about it, like the drill where you crouch under a desk during a nuclear bomb drill. I did have to come to the point where I stop trying to wake people up, they didn't want to hear what I was talking about, so maybe I need to back away from trying to "help" them. Sometimes it is good to reflect, well if I cannot do anything productive about this, what can I do right now to be positive. Sometimes I sit and reflect in quiet, putting my intent out in the universe for a better life or something. Some days I am happy, some days are miserable, but at least I have a choice in how I think or feel and no one can take that away from me.

[ceetee9]

Great post and questions awakeningmom! I’ll do my best to provide my honest opinions (as of this moment in time) to your questions. (Caveat: Opinions expressed are subject to change based on new information and/or understanding and/or without warning.)

1. I’m not sure “awakening” is the right word for me. I’ve always questioned things. I have an innate curiosity--particularly for things that interest me. When I feel an answer to a question doesn’t make sense, or feel right, or just doesn’t seem to fit the facts or my perceptions and/or experiences then I dig deeper. So I guess for me the point is to learn and get to the truth and to share that truth or information with others.

2. For me seeking truth (or awakening or whatever term you wish to use) is a lifelong process and I would hope that it is for everyone. I can’t say that I’ve ever had any doubts about the process because I would much rather live my life knowing the truth about things (no matter how dark or bad they may be) than to believe lies so that I can comfortably pretend I’m living in the “real” world. That’s not to say, however, that I haven’t had (and still have) great concerns about the negative aspects of the real world. But I think the single most difficult thing for me is how to balance my belief that everyone should at least be made aware of the truth, if not seek truth on their own, with other people’s right to live in a fantasy world if they so choose—particularly when their choice to remain ignorant may have a negative impact on my life and the lives of my family. And by that I mean, all we have is each other to overcome those who rule over us (i.e., those with the money, power and control who enslave us). If we can’t get those who prefer to live in a fantasy world to join with us, we are all doomed (IMHO) and at the mercy of those who enslave us. And I think we all know just how much mercy they are likely to show us once they have complete and unrestricted control (aka NWO).

3. I attempt to inform others via verbal and written communications, social media, emails, and Internet blogs and comments such as Project Avalon. I generally don’t get involved in causes because so many are corrupt and/or have agendas that may or may not be aligned with their alleged mission statement. I don’t believe in fighting or browbeating anyone. I prefer to just present what information and evidence I find that I believe to be worthy of consideration and let the recipient of that information decide if it rings true, piques their interest for further investigation, or if they simply choose to ignore it. How significant that is I’ll leave to the reader to decide.

The bottom line for me is that I find the world fascinating. Yes, scary at times, but I really don’t dwell on the negative stuff (at least that’s what I tell myself). However, it is the negative stuff that, perhaps, motivates me more to share the information I find in the hope that, if true, sufficient people will be provoked into peaceful action to bring about a positive change for the betterment of all.

Attempting to live one’s life in the pursuit of truth is not for the faint of heart. It most certainly can be difficult at times—particularly when it involves being at odds with, or losing, a loved one. But my view on that is that if a loved one places more value and importance on not having their beliefs challenged than they do on maintaining a loving and respectful relationship with you then let them go. Rational people do not have to agree on everything to care about, or have respect for, each other. I have several friends that call me a “conspiracy theorist” too and we have a good laugh together over it. I know that that is a coping mechanism for them. They’re not ready for the truth or would prefer to continue believing the lies they are fed daily and that’s ok. Hopefully, they will come around one day. But just as I don’t put a condition of my friendship with them that they believe everything I believe, they do the same and we get along wonderfully. It is doable, but it does take some work and time.

So my advice to you, awakeningmom, is to try not to let the negative stuff get to you, keep (gently) sharing information you believe worthy of consideration with others, laugh with your family and friends when they think something you’ve shared is malarkey (none of us know for sure what is true and what is not), and keep searching for the truth. It’s a mine field and neither you nor anyone else is going to get everything right. But what’s important is that we continue the quest and maybe one day we will all know the truth and will live in peace and harmony with each other and our planet.

[PurpleLama]

https://lindasepp.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/apocaloptimist.jpg

[Deega]

Awakeningmom, hmm!, here is a few comments on your different questions. I will write comments under the questions.


1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

Awakening was a moment in time where I couldn’t see my world with the lens of yesteryears. It started out while I was initiated to Mental Dynamic where I learn how to work with “energies”. Being part of a group, we were initiated on how to identify sickness in particular people at a distance. Were initiated on how to use our intuition. We discovered of the spirit path in one journey on Earth. We discovered the path of our spirit through reincarnation. Were also introduced to the Astro World, the invisible world.

Then I had a journey at the Edgar Cayce Institution where I was initiated to Reiki. And the learning keep on coming for years, and the ultimate came in a few years back when I had the pleasure of living workshops with a Peruvian Shaman.

To answer your question, I think that you already know the darker reality of this world, may you do something about it?, you may get involved in sending healing, loving vibrations on those that are in need of peace, love, distress, etc. You probably have started Meditation, if not, I highly suggest you make a start at it, you will increase your loving capabilities. And this will contribute increasing your consciousness.


2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

When I had these experiences, the instructors of that time was talking about awakening, but I tell you, all that came after that, it was awesome, never ending thing. At the time, doubts were not part of my learning, experiencing, I was feeling great about it all, and wanted more, and more came in every years.

No, I think that I took the right path all along, only have happiness on what came out of my experiencing. Yes my feelings about the process evolved, I was in continuous search of the unknown, and I was fortunate, I was a novice in a lot of things, and I think that I still have so much to learn. How?, I keep on going the learning process.


3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

I meditate every day, can’t do without it. I have an openness toward what keep me living, before raising up in the morning, I thank the different energies sources that keep me living during the night. I talk to these energies and to myself before getting up. I thank the burning wood that heat my home during the day/night. I thank the Air that I breathe, without it, I’m dead. I thank the Water that I drink, without it, I’m dead, and on with Earth, Fire, Aether, Light, Universe, Christ, Creator, my Spirit.

I try ever so discretly to share what I had the pleasure of learning, experiencing but never tried to imposed myself.

Active in opposing agenda, I guess that I have tried some actions, on a regional basis, but I would say not much. I think that I have been working more intensely within to continue the discovery.

The most powerful thing that I have found, is “LOVE”, in all your senses, in all your organs, in all my being, trying at time to be “unconditional”, but it a constant work in progress.

I wish you a great, amazing awakeness, I know it will be awesome for you because you have started a learning, experiencing the process.

The best to you!

[korgh]

Well.. Deega has explained very well the kind of awakening that some felt by different ways.
My awakening just cleared the way of understanding all the things. More accurate, balanced and made me change the way of life. All is connected and makes sense.
Also, my intuition and confidence became better and stronger. Is like to have a very good advisor and GPS integrated 24/7. I'm very happy with myself and i can understand and help better who's surrounding me.

[Hawkwind]

Hi awakeningmom-

First- Great thread you’ve started. Thank you.

Second- Upon reading this, “I’ve spent the better part of these last two years reading voraciously, watching documentaries, attending consciousness/conspiracy conferences, participating on this forum, etc”, my immediate reaction was an overwhelming desire to tell you to slow down! The amount of information available on any of the subjects you listed is virtually infinite, contradictory, convoluted and if you’re not careful, crazy making. There is no bottom to get to, so if you find yourself getting disheartened take a break. Once your eyes have opened to this stuff, there’s no shutting them again. That doesn’t, however, mean you need to spend every waking moment staring into the abyss. In fact, if we don’t take opportunities to dance in the light, darkness has already won. Perhaps the only way to help humanity escape the seeming nightmare is to first free yourself from it.

Third- In response to, “I was much happier before I begun this awakening process.”- caterpillars transforming in their cocoons may have similar thoughts. Let’s talk about it some more after you start flying.

Fourth- In response to, “I often feel so depressed/overwhelmed about just how awful the world is.”- I’m in the process of putting in a small fish pond. Yesterday one of our dogs decided it was his personal swimming pool. As in run, run, run, splash! splash! run, dig, run, splash!- for about 20 minutes. His world was most definitely not awful, and for at least those 20 minutes, neither was mine.

On to your questions

1- Light and dark arise together. One cannot exist without the other. For me, the point of awakening is the same as the point of living- to learn to love, (and like it or not sometimes the most valuable lessons are the ones that hurt the most).

2- I’ve had my share of deep dark doubts along the way, but little by little I’m learning that I and the universe are probably unfolding as we should. I try to do my best, and that’s the best I can do.

3- Mostly answered already. As for getting involved in causes, I try to stay open to what comes my way. If I feel compelled to respond to something (like this thread, for instance) I do. Basically, I try to do what feels right and I try to avoid doing what feels wrong (for me).

[Mark]

Ah, the pain and pleasure of decreasing ignorance. The public censure accompanying the possession of non-mainstream knowledge. The self-querying that cycles in the rush of thoughts, the fear underlying it all as the familiar landscape morphs into something akin to Alice's journey through the looking glass.

A lot of great responses. Honest, compassionate. The journey of a lifetime includes all permutations of experiential happenstance. How you perceive your journey and, more importantly, yourself, through the process is all-important. Cognitive dissonance is guaranteed at certain points. Accept it and let it be, your neural network will work it out as more information strengthens synaptic connections and the dross dissipates as the wheat flourishes.

Blessings to you along your journey.

:wizard:

[Ernie Nemeth]

Hi Jules,

I would answer the op line as I have never been very happy. My job has always been to learn, uncover, share - even when it was unfashionable to do so. But mostly to learn. Except from an early age I realized this world was extremely evil, unfair and unjust. So I trained myself to find all the bad, the lies, the brain washing wherever I found it. And I would speak out. I would always speak out, pointing out the falsehood, bringing light to the dark. Now it is automatic, I do it without thinking - it is a habit.

In today's world, where pretty much everybody knows of the banking scam to some extent, understand that the system is fixed, and everyone knows about the 1%...my job is done. For the last many years I have been trying to deprogram myself of the nasty habit of finding the bad (or the lie, if you prefer) in everything. It has been very hard going but I am making progress.

On a higher level, if I am not too tired or stressed or busy or otherwise distracted and not at my optimum, I can see the bigger picture and I can even be proud of my little contribution over the years. There are a handful scattered out there that I have taught and trained to one degree or another and many hundreds that have heard at least some portion of the truth from my mouth. So at this higher level I am indeed very happy and love life and appreciate the beauty of nature. So now that the troops have been rallied I feel its my time to work on myself. I still learn, I still lean to the negative, but I am ready to lay my rough style aside and reinvent myself.

Not sure where that might lead...maybe to finally being happy on all levels, living in a world of abundance amongst loving and caring individuals of high moral fibre and intelligence. That would be nice.

Thanks for asking. Now I'll go read the other responses.

[Latti]

Awakeningmom,

I'm not likely to answer your questions, but I will add my experiences. You have generated a lot of interest and that's good!

As a young person growing up in the bible belt southern USA, I was taught from the bible at an early age. I said the pledge of allegiance with pride. Although there was segregation all around me, I didn't interact with any other culture than my Scotch-Irish community. I was blind to the injustices all around me.

During college years, I began to realize that many stories of the bible didn't ring true for me. It was only after reading the book "Black like me", that I began to understand more about the civil rights movement and the injustices perpetrated on people of color. I lacked the courage to personally get involved, but I did start to see the injustice.

When Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald, that shouted "Cover up" very loudly to me and removed another brick from the wall that had been built around me, but I never thought our own government officials could have been involved.

The Vietnam war further pointed out a lack of moral leadership in the USA. Another brick fell, but I was still mostly asleep. I grew up poor; so, pursuing the American dream was still what motivated me. I didn't relate to the protesters of the 60's.

Before the watergate hearings, I would not believe that a US President could be so corrupt. When the truth came out, another brick fell and hit me very hard. Slowly, I began to realize that the country that I had believed in did not exist.

Along with an engineering degree, I have a science minor in structures. Decades of work in the basic metals industry as well as having built several buildings caused alarms to go off in my mind when the twin towers fell. If that wasn't clear enough, building seven's demolition removed all doubt.

Looking closer at the history of our nation indicated that the USA has been up to dirty tricks from almost the beginning. Our dealings with Mexico and Native Americans during our westward expansion are other blots on our claim of being a moral nation. The list continues with much of our dealings with most Central and South American countries.

With all of the above being said, I don't know of another country that allows someone born to share cropper parents succeed as I and my siblings have. All of my childhood dreams have been fulfilled and I live with abundance.

There are many things wrong with the way we behave as a people and a nation, but if there's another nation that has all of the abundance and positive aspects that we enjoy, I'm not aware of it.

On a more positive note, I'm convinced that we are eternal spiritual beings having a earthly human experience. We are not our bodies. Compared to eternity, the struggles and negative experiences here are only fleeting moments.

I'm also fully convinced that we must experience the cold of winter to fully appreciate the warmth of spring. We came here of or own free will choice and we desired this experience to balance our prior choices.

I'll end with a quote from one of my favorite mentors: “Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.” – Earl Nightengale

[DaRkViPeR]

Hi Awakeningmom

We, the awakening and awakened ones started on this journey just as a baby started life. We took small steps and learned new things along the way. Sometimes we are filled with joy and other times we fall and get hurt.
On this journey we encounter the truthfull ones, the disinformants, the sensation seekers and right out liars. Some of us endure physical, psylogical and spiritual harassments for being awake and seeking the truth.
We experience all our emotions in a new and intensified way because we realize and understand that there is so much more to life than what we belived in previously.
My advice to you is not to blindly believe in everything that you hear or read. Not all the information out there is true. Do your own research, investigate everything, question everything and in the end you only take
what resonates with you. Remember, we might be awake but sometimes we can also be blind.

Peace

[ghostrider]

I woke up in 1987 , didn't believe anything prior to that ... had a visit from the shadow people , it made me read the bible daily over and over , and sent me to the library to research history , and talk to anyone who had any paranormal experiences ... did some housekeeping , threw out everything that was black or had any sort of satanic vibe to it , tapes , posters , jewelry , you name it ... reading in the library I read where the catholic church in 325 AD changed the way people were baptized , I realized many things the good book taught , the church went against ... the veil was removed the words become BOLD , stood out and made sense ... further down the rabbit hole , another step , the old testament was murder , war , killing and the punishment for everything was death , the new testament was all about love and forgiveness , kindness , fruits of the spirit ... the tow didn't make sense together ... still don't... to honor my awakening , I learn what I can about anything we are told as fact and follow the trail wherever it leads ... this journey is taking me somewhere , I'm not supposed to worry about where or how I get there , I've learned the journey will teach you more than one lifetime can ... so enjoy each day , learn that days lesson , for another day approaches , as we are already in space moving through time like time travelers , we are from the past always moving into the future ... the only difference between today and tomorrow is the Earth turned one time on it's axis ...

¤=[Post Update]=¤

happy ??? balance requires happiness and unhappiness , ups and downs , hot and cold , sick and healthy ... so it's all just a state of mind , controlled by our thoughts , actions , and feelings ... which are subject to change and influence ...

[Jules]

Best wishes for peace and learning on your journey rebel.

[Karma Ninja]

1. I think the point of awakening is different for everybody. Individually we are all prepared to accept different parts of being awake but we all have our limitations. This forum is a wonderful example of the broad variety of "awakedness" that exists. Due to the endless varieties of experiences we all have, we are all inclined to lean different ways and accept different things. Where we draw our own personal lines on so many different topics is our own unique personal line. I admire everyone for where they have been able to take themselves so far! :cool: I would think for most the battle to understand our existence and our place within it is an inward battle. Again, we would see an endless variety of battles with epic victories and defeats amongst our forum members. But the hardest part of our awakening and our acceptance has to be the constant inward battle all true thinkers feel within themselves. Some of the wisest and respected philosophers agree on this inward battle being enough to keep us busy...forever. Lol! Good luck on your journey!

2. There are times where I wish I could go back and concentrate on a meaningless job and meaningless past times. Sit around and drink and party and watch silly sitcoms and movies. Get my numb on. You know, just experience the illusion as my reality. But then I remember I wasn't very satisfied then either and this way feels like it will lead me down a better path. I make sure I take proper amounts of time on my priorities like family, health and keeping us all in a state of acceptable comfort. I quit my corporate job and work for myself now. A more humble but satisfying existence. There is no way I can turn back now. Before waking up, I didn't truly consider whether my path and actions were noble or positive. Now I do. I think that's better.

3. I go between wanting to take a more active role in spreading information and periods of intense study and information grabs. I've had many doubts along the way. I take breaks from all the information periodically too. I have tried an approach where I test limits of what people are prepared to believe and watch the reactions. I take a measured approach on social media and to the general public. I pick my spots and make sure I know my audience.

For instance I would never just jump into a conversation going on about ancient aliens/UFO's or hardcore into the ruling families and ancient systems of control. But I might talk about how our government lies to us and how there are so many sides to a story and then pop some alternative views out there. I've converted many people into 9/11 "official story" doubters but if you start getting into WHO was behind 9/11 you can run into walls. It's tough being able to read what people will accept. I warn people that by my account 95% of the information out there is wrong. (Illusory Reality and Conspiracy world alike)

I also have learned to maintain a healthy dose of openness that parts or all of what I've learned could be wrong. But all in all I try to just learn to accept everyone for where they are at and where their interest level is at. It's a fascinating thing to do. I think I personally am too withheld by my own limitations to be a powerful voice in this arena. But that's just me being me. :p

I know exactly where you are at when you posted this thread but I have no idea how you will learn to deal with it. I just know you can do it and you'll be fine! Here's a freaky panda for good luck! :panda:

[Mandala]

I am sooooo much happier now than I was before. Waking up is like the stages of grief.

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

We are in denial because we are in a state of shock because of what is truly going on in reality.

Then we feel anger because we have been lied to all our lives.

Then we do the bargaining thing, more with ourselves than with God. I'll be ok with this if I can get my husband, wife, family, BFF on board and get them to see and accept the truth.

Then we get depressed, because the people we love and trust don't see it our way, and we are shocked and appalled they can't see the truth.

Finally, we accept it. This is our personal journey. We grow, we share what we can to who will accept it, and we understand everyone has their own journey and path to follow.

When I truly learned that control was an illusion. I was at peace.

Whenever I revisit any of the above stages, I still experience glimmers of the states, but I pull myself out of them fast because of the acceptance and understanding.

That is how it is. You can't unlearn the truth, would you really want to?

[RUSirius]

Yes to EVERYTHING you say, something tells me this struggle, experiences, this awakening will not go away until our bodies expire, and then may continue in a different way. This planet is definitely some sort of battle ground at some level, I have no proof as to what level that may be, I truly "know" nothing about it, but part of your awakening will be learning to find your happiness amongst the sh!t storm. Your transcendence and peace is important to all of us.

[meeradas]

I'm as miserable as ever.
No wonder, still in "deep sleep".

[Anchor]

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

Awakening is more about seeing a truth that was previously not so visible. The point of awakening is the experience. My perspective is that we chose the main conditions, experiences and lessons of our incarnation and this is just one of them. Now its happend you move on and experience more.

The point is not to raise conciousness, that is a by product.

To realize reality is an illusion? The problem with this is the meaning and context that this represents. Not everyone can grasp the inner meaning of that statement, which is to suggest that what we sense is a fabrication of the deeper mind that approaches oneness - and if the oneness is what you seek then it is an obstruction.

To change reality? Not specifically. Everything you do changes reality, every thought, every act, every word composed, uttered or written changes reality.

You cant really not change it, but what is interesting about awakening is KNOWING that you change it and being more actively responsible for the choices you make in that knowing.



2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

I was not born awake. Awakneing hit its stride from 20-40. The last ten years have been more about relaxing into a state of awakened acceptance, and at the same time knowing there is a lot more to go. Doubts are all parts of that - I see them as tests of faith.

I was never unhappy about any of this. Things still piss me off. I'm no master. Over time what happens is you apply different frames of reference to what goes on and you find yourself judging less and seeing more.


3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

Each conscious choice I make and subsquent act has to honor it - there is no choice about this and it is automatic. What has been seen, cannot be unseen!

You dont "owe" anything for what you have acheived, and what you get for your progress is more responsibility and challenges.

Spiritual development is a by product and not a goal.


---


Now I have tried to answer your questions I want to address the notion of you being "less happy" than you were before.

Please don't cast judgement yourself either lightly or harshly.

You are allowed to be happy.

You need no permission to be happy, not from anyone.

The judgement of your peers is really an opinion or advice.

What counts is what you think and do, you are sovereign.

And when you as a sovereign being realise that your love and the love of all that is is coursing through you, then its ok to let a little smile out and be happy - even if this may be thought to be wrong or out of place for those around you.

You do not have to be unhappy for anyone.

Be happy for everyone, for so long as you draw breath and radiate your love into the universe, you are going to be doing them and all of us a big favour.

Thanks!

With love

Anchor..

[Natalia]

28962http://img.loveitsomuch.com/uploads/201211/01/sn/snow%20white%20fall%20apple%20sleeping%20beauty%20winter%20art%20print%20glossy%20emo%20goth%20girl% 20zindy%20nielsen-f43772.jpg

[WhiteLove]

So a few questions for the forum:

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?


The point of awakening is two folded:

1) To set your consciousness free from limitation through unconditional love
2) To assist in the completion of the universe through unconditional love



2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?


I have experienced the awakening partially physically in this reality through UFO contact, partially through prayer response and partially through a special kind of dream state in a higher realm where I have gained first hand contact with higher intelligence about parts/aspects of my life, creation and about the greatness and truth of unconditional love. Much of what I have experienced in the higher realm I am trying to understand intellectually, since that intelligence has been transmitted emotionally to me and certain parts of it I have not fully understood.

My mission here on earth I find to include several things. First of all I know that I am here to help free mankind from slavery, why I know this is because it is the first thought I can remember I had when I was born here. Secondly I am a messenger of Christ Consciousness from an unconditional love perspective, both a teacher and a student of this kind of love. Beyond this I am also tapping into higher level intelligence in order to re-link the lost awareness between the spiritual and the physical world, again from an unconditional love perspective.

I have not had major doubts about the awakening process to any great degree, but the process towards unconditional love spiritually, the forgetting of the greater reality and at the same time being trapped into the limitation of the physical/logical perspective of this world and the circumstances in this life, creates at times great confusion that I am trying to learn from to make the ride more fun and less painful. Because of my depth of knowledge it can be a heavy burden to observe the human suffering and the slavery/jail aspects often make me sad.

Over time the feelings have evolved. Over the last 20 years much has happened within the awakening community which has helped me with identity issues. I am a truth seeker similar to the union of Steven Greer, David Sereda, David Wilcock, Julian Assange, Edward Snowden, Bill Ryan, Kerry Cassidy, Bob Lazar etc.



3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

I would love to hear others' experiences and thoughts....:o


I go within, I observe, I search and I try to discover. As part of the awakening I am gradually gaining the kinds of intellectual tools required to combat various aspects that come with living as a truth seeker, one of them being that I have developed an inner ability of being extremely sensitive to spiritual warnings, in the past I was totally blind to these which resulted in enormous levels of pain.

I seek both internally and also externally. Since I vet out quite a lot of information technically, it gives me a pretty good overall idea of where to look for answers, what is true and what is false. This also makes my knowledge base extremely unique. An example would be the RA material, while most truth seekers out there are confused about this - some say it's all just BS from some dark parallel universe, some say it contains high level of truth - I don't even have to engage in that conspiracy because my vet out tools have already provided me the answer. When I become enough convinced about some insight I've gained, then I "leak" that into the world in various ways to help in the awakening process.

I am one of those that dream about a world in peace and unconditional love - a world of total Christ consciousness, one where we have free energy and bond with the greater community we have out there in the universe.

[Violet]

I don't know if I'm awake. As you also pointed out, it's difficult pinpointing it. Reading up on all the possibilities of what really is and seeing all the things that amaze me and you everyday again, sometimes I feel quite asleep. Asleep is when you dream, I dream. The next moment feels like waking up again, to another reality, or the same one for a bit longer,... Everything changes all the time. Stability and focus, telescopes like it too.

Thank you for working out your questions so orderly :)

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?


- To accept that it might not be what you think it is and (show a willingness to) listen to those who think they know.
Might, because we can't all be wrong, I don't believe that. This means that for some of us, it might just as well be what it is.

2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

- As I said, I don't know what awake is. Sure, there are some rough definitions that once you've seen documentaries about this and that subject and you know and believe at least three whistleblowers, you're in. And there's also: is life the dream and death the waking up part? Or maybe the first fifteen seconds of a minute is always a sleeping moment and the rest of the minute is an awakening, back to reality. I would love to one time know that, really knowing it, not just trusting, believing or hoping I'm right about it.

3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

- So, then if I'm not awake or not sure, I'm probably something else. I honour my life (and existence in general) by gratitude and/of perception and I try to do something with that. The biggest challenge lies in understanding both the message and its source. Oh, and being. And wanting to be.

Others. I had this idea about one big cellular mechanism (still working that out), but the individual cell has its own programming and I don't know what would happen if other cells (actively/violently) interfered with it, good or bad. Generally, I believe that each cell has some awareness of the greater task within the mechanism and that other cells must respect certain boundaries. :der: As I said, still working it out.

[ulli]

Awakening is a process, and a never-ending one at that.
Wake-up calls are shocks, or alarms.
The state of sleep returns when all is well, and life runs smoothly.
But since no one can live without rest periods one needs to see sleepy sheeple in the light of one's own projections.
Because a few hours from now I might be fast asleep again, while the sheeple are active and saving the world better than I could.
Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed with the stuff that is coming to light and shocking me to the core I take a little break.
And it was the rhythmic nature of my own consciousness which really opened my eyes to the higher reality, that where MY focus goes the universe responded with more of the same.
And that is why I now take full responsibility for whatever happens to me, as I did somehow cause it with the unevolved or immature side of my being.
And it is that immaturity which drives my curiosity to seek out more of what's in the great unknown.

But the overall answer is happiness.
What is there not to be happy about? This is a wondrous universe where no solid form lasts and yet the spirit side of the self, which is furthermore connected to everything else that's out there in spirit form continues forever and ever.

[Twig]

I have always felt that i don't belong here, never knew why i felt this way. Spent most of my life "saying it as i see it" and that doesn't appeal to many people. Lost many a friend and the ones that, on the rare occasion visit, laugh at what i have to say.

When I woke up I couldn't peel myself away from the net. I spent months and months reading..first i'd get shocked, then overwhelmed, then angry, then a combo of helplessness and anger combined. The amount of lies..then it would hit me that my folks had been lied to, which in turn had them lie to me and then me to my children...That was and is like someone has stuck a hot poker were the sun don't shine.

I trust nothing and no-one. Waking up has changed my life so much and it's not all for the good. After spending some years taking my folks in and out of hospitals and doctors surgerys ive seen that after 40 you are nothing more than an experiment. Scripts are handed out for kickbacks nothing more. The fact that my kids and I breath, eat and drink crap everyday has got me looking at food and not really wanting to eat. When you buy tomato's and the one still left in your fridge a month later looks like it just got freshly plucked off a plant makes me ropeable for days...I'm still talking about it.

I have to convince myself to get up and away from the computer so as not to give myself migraines with what i read or hear.
What saddens me the most, when it all comes to a head is what do we have to protect ourselves with..Nothing, oh, maybe the salad fork.
I'm looking to purchase property, so many beautiful places to buy but I steer away from those..all due to my awakening.

There are times when (as my niece said) why even bother watering the lawn, why bother with anything that we usually do on a daily basis OR use to do. What is the point when we are being bombarded from all sides.
I have tried to let it go and tell myself just live as though none of it is going on but thats an impossibility. Everything i read, see or hear has now become questionable.... sigh

[Hawkwind]

Twig- becoming aware of darkness is a necessary part of waking up. Getting swallowed by it is optional.

vE8mFDabqD0

The point isn't to ignore the darkness, but neither is allowing oneself to be seduced by it to the point of ignoring the light. Stepping away from the computer before giving yourself migraines is definitely a step in the right direction. May I also suggest finding reasons to laugh, dance and whatever other forms of making love tend to make you glad to be alive.

[Sean]

Hello,

As my chosen user name indicates, I tend to see myself as being in some (early) stage of “awakening” at this point in my life. I realize “awakening” is a highly subjective and potentially offensive term to some (as in, I’m awake and YOU are sleeping). But for me, it simply means that my view of reality has been challenged, destroyed, and expanded on several fronts – political, historical, financial, spiritual. This awakening process is still in its infancy for me -- it’s been less than two years -- and I’ve spent the better part of these last two years reading voraciously, watching documentaries, attending consciousness/conspiracy conferences, participating on this forum, etc – probably all in an attempt to discover some elusive truth about who we are, who I am, and ultimately how to help humanity escape from what seems to be an ever-increasing and intentionally constructed nightmare.

Unfortunately, at times I feel overwhelmed by all this new found information/knowledge – and sometimes think that I was much happier before I begun this awakening process. Before, I had a comfortable life, a normal family, a satisfying career, and good friends who I thought were open-minded and curious. I voted down-the-line democrat, held (largely liberal) opinions of the world, and thought the world was messed up in places, but that we were still in the best country in the world…..

Fast forward almost two years later, and that (blissfully naïve) life seems forever irretrievable. I’ve lost some friends (not all) over my radical change, and I often feel so depressed/overwhelmed about just how awful the world is. I don’t trust my government anymore, I don’t trust any “leaders” (even in the alternative field), I don’t even trust doctors or the medical community. Instead, I worry about toxic vaccines, chemtrails, psychotropic medications, fluoridated water, GMO’s, false flags, intentional genocide, extreme wealth disparity – not to mention the NWO and its possible agenda, which is possibility aided/instigated by off-world negative entities? It’s so much to take in.

While I try to do my small part in trying to change some of the things that concern me now (mostly in the health related arenas), I can’t help but feel somewhat helpless in the face of so many problems and with the understanding that all of this could be a concerted effort to eliminate much of humanity. This depression and feeling of helplessness is deepened whenever I’ve tried to discuss such topics with close friends and family, who not only resist hearing the information but who often make jokes about my being a “conspiracy theorist” now.

I don’t mean to unload here, and I'm sure others have already gone down this road many times before, but sometimes I wonder what the point of my “awakening” was. Part of my reason for questioning this is because I have often felt guided by something, and I guess a part of me feels like this “awakening” was supposed to happen to me—i.e., that I was lead to the information at precisely the right time in my life. But it certainly doesn’t feel good a lot of the time and I don’t even know what I can do about the darker aspects of the world on any meaningful scale anyway (is trying to tell a few people enough? ) Yes, in many ways, the world has become a much more interesting place for me, but it’s a much darker place than I imagined.

So a few questions for the forum:

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

I would love to hear others' experiences and thoughts....:o


for me, it was 9/11. as someone who grew up in NYC, and someone who had been in the buildings numerous times..I knew the story were were being told about it was horse****. found my way to alternative news sites, the usual suspects..and that led to my soul awakening also. I started having dream state experiences..and I knew that the reality I had accepted until then was an illusion.

It certainly has led to some unhappy experiences. I've lost many friends.(maybe they weren't friends anyway). I no longer drink the kool-aid, so..EVERYTHING is harder. relationships, etc..I mean how can I date a woman who still thinks 9/11 was a bunch of muslims with boxcutters, highjacking 747's when they could barely fly a cessna, and achieve that over the most heavily defended airspace in the history of the world without being intercepted by fighter aircraft? AND fly those 747's with expert precision? does anyone have ANY IDEA how hard it is to do that? AND made skyscrapers fall in their own footprint at freefall speed? that's the story we're expected to believe.

It's the biggest bull**** story in human history, this side of the "the earth was created in 7 days".

9/11 is my "IQ test" for people. If you can't at least question it..I can't **** with you.

Any event in the media I immediately ask "cui bono"? I question everything and accept nothing at face value. If you're a sheep,which most people are, I look crazy to you. so, yes, awakening is a lonely path.

but I'd rather live in truth alone, than live in lies with others.

[Aspen]

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

I don't know, but I would rather be awake than asleep. I have always wanted to live a meaningful life and to help others. I think being awake is a better tool for those objectives, than being asleep. When I first awoke I was voraciously reading everything and anything connected to conspiracies. It was exciting and it made me feel alive, like a rebel :) However, much like yourself I also found it deeply disturbing, often scary and sometimes very confusing. I quickly discovered that there was a lot of disinfo. Some things were blatantly lies and easy to pick out. After several months or maybe a year I learned that the best disinfo was the type that was a mixture of truth and lies. More recently, after about 15 years of awakening, I increasingly have the feeling that truth is almost impossible to find. Even the things that are 95% true can lead you in the wrong direction.

I think looking at tons of conspiracy stuff has not been a waste of time. I think it has trained me to recognize the truth more easily, discard the lies more quickly. I like the analogy of a diamond expert: they learn to recognize fake diamonds and poor quality diamonds by looking at many of them.


2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

I have felt confident about the journey all along. But I have had times when I get frustrated, depressed or very worried. But, like others have mentioned, you learn to live with the truth and to find a new balance in your life with this knowledge. Milestones for me in this process of being okay with it:
a. being gentle with yourself. Its okay to take a break. If you burn out or commit suicide you can't help others anymore! I have learned that good self care, learning that it is not selfish to take care of yourself, learning to take breaks, not feeling guilty about numbing out when needed, connecting with nature and other like minded people has been very helpful.

b. focusing on the positive, cherish your freedom ("Die Gedanken sind frei" is a German saying my parents taught me). Cherish your family, pursue hobbies, develop your strengths, and if you are obsessed with studying conspiracy spend some time looking at the positive stuff. For example I am thankful for Benjamin Fulford even if I don't know if anything he says is true. It is just not healthy for any of us to be emotionally living in fear all the time, so I appreciate his rose coloured glasses view of reality. It is a proven thing that the more relaxed you are the better you learn, your creativity is improved and you can find solutions. I have stopped listening to Alex Jones years ago because I cannot take his fear mongering tone. In German there is a saying "der tone macht die music." So even though he often has cool guests and useful information the overall message I get from his site is "be afraid, BE AFRAID and ANGRY! BE VERY AFRAID!" SO I avoid his site the same way I avoid listening to the mainstream media or TV in general. I am thankful there are other alternative sites to listen to. In general I try to make a wide berth around fear porn. It is part of setting healthy boundaries for myself so I can retain sanity and health.
Lately I have been studying Laura Eisenhower because she has a wider view. Sometimes standing back and looking at the big picture gives us more objectivity. She has studied ancient myths and knowledge like that promoted by the Gnostics to try to make sense of how far back the human oppression goes. Sometimes looking at the big picture helps us to be better able to tolerate the misery and pain we are exposed to. She also teaches something to the effect that we are connected to the spiritual core of the planet and can change the destiny of the planet by being conscious and connected to it. It gives me hope, although I am suspicious of the New Age spiritual movement and believe much of it is simply another false religion designed to prevent us from awakening too much.

c. Don't be a Messiah. Sometimes ego ( or I don't know what!)gets in our way and we try to do it all, rescue the world, and develop an obsessive need to sacrifice ourselves in the process. This is unhealthy! That just doesn't work, its everyone's job to throw off oppression where they see it, safety in numbers. I like to say the Mantra while breathing in "I am sovereign" and then when breathing out "we are sovereign." (this is from James Mahu and what he teaches int he WIngmakers) I like what Simon Parkes said lately about calm confrontation. We can be involved with lifting the oppression on the planet but in a detached manner. I am talking about spiritual detachment.

d, Consciously changing practises in physical health, mental health, emotional health. I try to make changes gradually and not be too hard on myself. Like walking instead of running, art parties, getting together with neighbours instead of committing to social cause groups like a I used to, reducing coffee consumption, reducing sugar intake, leaving time between clients to recover, using herbal supplements, eating more veggies, etc. Lately I have been focusing a bit more on the spiritual (which I had given up on for a long time because of spiritual abuse) in the form of meditation and mindfulness practises and just being with all my relations on earth in a way grounded on unconditional love and respect.

3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually? I simplify my life, moved out to the country, spend time with people I love. I intentionally chose to pursue a career in counselling to help people heal from trauma and the intergenerational effects of trauma Even though I largely work with people one on one I am hoping for a ripple effect! As others have mentioned, I have also found it helpful to develop intuition and use it to guide decision making. I have been experimenting with pendulums and I have paid attention to guidance in the form of synchronicities and dreams for decades. I try not to take myself too seriously (humour) but do share information in a form that I hope is palatable to others on facebook and in person when people seem open and curious. I used to be involved in left wing politics, but have largely given that up as it was using up too much time and energy. It was too draining! However I sometimes participate in online petitions or smaller events when I feel led to. For example I really enjoyed every moment of participating in a Healing Walk at the Alberta Tar Sands.

[Dawn]

Congratulations on your deep healing process. As you go deeper into awakening you will find that most of what you now feel is not coming from you. This truth will continue to grow the more you awaken. Our circuits and connection to the life all around us strengthen during awakening. This seems to be a function of not blocking out the truth... so we begin to let it in. But the truth has many layers, and the more blocks you remove the more you will continue to find deeper truths. And.... the more you will directly connect with all of life... and so on.

So... this earth has a LOT of suffering going on right now. Wars, famine, desertification, victimization, power struggles, etc are everywhere. These are not just physical facts, they are energetic facts. As your energy becomes interconnected with all of life you will directly experience the pain and suffering which has been all around you during your entire life. Do you think you can 'go back' or close off now? Good luck! Once this process begins it is ever expanding.

I am going to tell a story here.
.....What if... A life form from another galaxy had become ill and unbalanced.
.....What if we knew their pain, for we could feel them coming from far away (since we are connected to all life).
.....What if we knew they were coming into our galaxy bringing the illness they had here?
.....What if we created a lovely solar system right on the edge of our galaxy that was so beautiful that we knew we could draw them there and heal them while the remainder of our galaxy remained healthy?
.....maybe...In order to protect our own galaxy from their disease we planned to allow them to combine intimately with us. We were willing to take on their illness... because we knew we could heal ourselves... and since they had combined their DNA with ours we would heal them at the same time. (there is a wonderful movie called 'Resurrection' which demonstrates our abilities in this way)
.....Every time one of us awakens we heal ourselves, and we actually contain their DNA, so we heal them at the same time
.....What if your feelings are actually telling you about a great illness which is beginning to heal in a very deep way

What if you simply feel the pain on the planet because you finally stopped blocking it out and pretending it is not there?

You are amazing... just look at your courage and willingness to take it all on by seeing it for what it is, and by being willing to feel the pain all around you.

You are amazing

[Alpha141]

Hi all,

This video re the self climb to understanding our reality speaks to me at many levels regarding this deep self assessment at present. So i offer it to you all also:

Michael Tsarion - The Transmission of Truth Does Not Work to Time - The Climb to Selfhood
-2JCgat-B2s

I would rather be awake and uncomfortable. Psychically beaten up than* not in control of my own destiny ;)

Goodluck all

[crosby]

Hi Alpha141, I agree. I am much happier being awake and uncomfortable than sleeping in the shadows and perpetuating some myth of happiness. I'm not saying I'm not scared, but - - Knowledge IS power - take another bite of the apple everyone. Shake it up a bit and make some applesauce - that's always fun!!!!
warmest,
crosby

[Wind]

Am I "happier"? Well... No. Am I more aware and have attained more serenity and acceptance through that? I would say yes! Although if I start to think too deeply about the current political climate for example, I certainly won't feel so great. Detachment is the key, but not always so easy because we easily get involved in things. It's just part of our condition. I have learned that emotions like thoughts come and go. I try to appreciate life as it is, but I'm nowehere near perfect although I try to be. I have a mind which is worrisome at times due to my extremely aware nature, but I know that I'm not the mind. Life is not permanent, nothing is permanent so why really worry? We may die tomorrow so why not live peacefully today, why sacrifice our peace of mind for nothing?

Sometimes I think that it would be for the best if I got totally offline from internet and this mad western world and would live in some isolated monastery as a monk, but I think that would work only for a while. Curiosity would once again get me back to the so called civilized society, despite my hermit nature. In the end, humans always seem to seek conncetion and won't thrive without it.

As for now, I'm a dreamer awake in a dream which we imagine to be real.

wU0PYcCsL6o

[jackovesk]

((Yes & No)) Can't really put it into words, perhaps this 'Clip' will surmise..:noidea:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puCuomrwas0

[Violet]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Px_Ua27nIdY

Some people describe feelings such as presented in this video.

[joeecho]

When I ask these questions, I see an image.

Darkness to the left, light to the right.


This reminds me of another image....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DohRa9lsx0Q

In the awakening process and being awake I have realized that the spiritual message of the journey is everywhere. Even in the most profane of places.

("Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right, Here I am, stuck in the middle with you")

My apparent self is off center but that is but an observable illusion.

[Wind]

That is way too funny, Joe. Just a minute ago I was listening to that song!

[joeecho]

That is way too funny, Joe. Just a minute ago I was listening to that song!

That is delicious!! :)

[ulli]

You're both being controlled by the same AI.....

[eaglespirit]

Ridin' the Waves : )
http://i2.wp.com/in5d.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/th6wh4ry.jpg

Transfiguration:
http://www.energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resource-tools/news-shift-timelines/2563-transfiguration

[joeecho]

You're both being controlled by the same AI.....

Damn you AI. Damn you to hell! LOL

http://memeguy.com/photos/images/damn-you-cruel-world-14362.jpg

[ulli]

Here is a major chance for the multitudes to awaken, (which should make the rest of us "awake and aware" even happier)

http://news.yahoo.com/outgoing-obama-adviser-john-podesta-s-biggest-regret-of-2014--keeping-america-in-the-dark-about-ufos-234149498.html;_ylt=AwrBTzchs.BUXeQAF0jBGOd_


Obama adviser John Podesta's biggest regret: Keeping America in dark about UFOs

[Wind]

You're both being controlled by the same AI.....

Well, I'll just have to say that AI has a really good taste in music!

[Jules]

Or synchronicity. lol

[joeecho]

Or synchronicity. lol

Synchronicity, a dance amongst friends.

https://covers.believedigital.com/600/3610154169101.jpg

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/q11P0g9H8So/0.jpg

[awakeningmom]

I’ve hesitated to reinsert myself into this thread (other than hitting the Thanks button) for fear of stopping the flow of so many helpful, generous, supportive, funny, and thoughtful responses. I’ve been reading through this thread multiple times and getting so much out of each response! Thank you to all posters – I am sure I’m not the only one who has gotten a lot out of the thoughts/advice/personal experiences being shared here, and I hope it continues.

I guess the positive larger take-away for me is that my own awakening process is similar to (as well as unique from) many others. And it is heartening to hear that many of you believe you are now in a happier -- or at least wiser/more authentic -- place after beginning the awakening process, whether it’s because you simply prefer the red pill over the blue – or because you have been able to recognize a deeper (spiritual?) meaning to all of this seeming chaos and dark/light duality.

I do recognize that I need to slow down and step back more often, though it’s true that I’m still spending inordinate amounts of time in front of my computer, toggling between mainstream and alternative media sites for hours, trying to get to the bottom of this Great Lie We’ve Been Sold – and trying to figure out how I can contribute to turning it all around. I now try to balance the “bad” stuff with some “good” stuff - i.e., researching “conspiracy” stuff one day and focusing on uplifting/educational stuff the next (like watching uplifting videos or perusing websites that discuss things like positive energetic changes and/or assistance from benevolent ET’s, white hats in the military, etc. or that simply provide good information about meditation or OBE’s). I can’t say I believe in these White Hats or Benevolent ET assisters yet, but it makes me feel better to think that there are still good folks at high levels out there willing to assist, whether human or otherwise.

I do also recognize the need to get out and go for a walk, hang with my kids/husband, plant something in my garden, read a novel, help someone else, etc. But the funny thing is – I did all of that BEFORE I was hit over the head with this stuff 2 years ago, so why did I have to “awaken” to all this crappy dark stuff just to go right back to understanding the need to appreciate the little things in life again? Pretty circuitous route!

Perhaps the most frustrating part of this whole awakening process for me is the realization that I may never know the TRUTH about anything, whether it’s history, politics, or the creation and purpose of the human race. Even the alternative explanations/theories to the mainstream narratives are often conflicting and fraught with intentional disinformation, internecine battles among researchers/whisteblowers, and pure flights of fancy. So were the Twin Towers hit by real commercial jets, or were they holograms (a la John Lear)? Controlled demolition or nukes? Was JFK murdered by the CIA, LBJ, the Vatican, the Mafia, the International Bankers – or all of them? Who are the highest level bad guys in this world and what IS their true agenda? Who/what CREATED us? So many conflicting theories, and I fear I will never know and will have to continue searching in vain until I leave this particular planet (and hopefully go somewhere more positive/less dualistic if I have any say about it!). Or maybe the point is to accept the unknowing and be ok with it...but then again, what's the POINT of awakening then?

Maybe the journey alone IS the whole point, but after waking up to the realization that I’ve been lied to my entire life about everything that matters, I’d like to think I have now earned the right to find the truth -- and that the rabbit hole isn’t really as bottomless and unfathomable as it now appears. Is truth objectively knowable or not?

Ok, looks like I'm leaning negative again. Maybe it’s time to get out into the sunshine and enjoy this beautiful Sunday! Thank you all again for so many wonderful responses. 

[joeecho]

Maybe the journey alone IS the whole point, but after waking up to the realization that I’ve been lied to my entire life about everything that matters, I’d like to think I have now earned the right to find the truth -- and that the rabbit hole isn’t really as bottomless and unfathomable as it now appears. Is truth objectively knowable or not?


The rabbit hole is bottomless and unfathomable with infinitude of points all pointing to the same 'thing'. The trouble occurs when we mistake the point(s) for.......?

The speedometer in a vehicle points to the speed we are going but that really isn't the truth is it? It's a relative speed, it does not factor in the rotational speed of the earth at approximately 1,040 mph at the equator. Then there is the rotational speed of the earth around the sun at approx. 66,000 mph. Our entire solar system orbits the center of the Milky Way galaxy at an approx. 500 thousand miles an hour. And then there is the movement of the galaxy through the universe and so forth.

We are not REALLY sitting still when we are sitting still (it just appears that way).

So what is the point? It's all relative.....to a point.

http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/animal-epipha-few-animal-epiphanies-that-might-just-blow-your-mind-20-photosanies-7.jpg

[Natalia]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/12/4d/6b/124d6b2657cc67a40a968b79f50f369f.jpg

umLlWQg4EAA

[Alpha141]

I also love the realignment with the indgenous aspects of our heratige also. I have been fortunate enough to meet some in a sacred space who are the care takers of Wilpena Pound which accomidates grid point 44 re Global Lay Lines. They are 50-75000yr old tribe (the Adnyamathanha)

The Q'ero have a facsinating perspective also which i share here via Ian R Crane's amazing anachronistic experience to meet them on a trip to Peru:
T841y57NMP0

It covers the entire gamet. He breaks an Ancle over there which was thought to derail the whole experience. VERY uncomfortable. But, as he so eloquently explains...there was purpose to it. Worth 30mins to see this potential for you also. That is the key...as Richard Alan Miller says. 'Everything has a purpose. And, everything leads to something better.' When you are in it. That can potentially be the uncomfortable aspect. It can be challenging. It can also be gently a bit of a prod to get you to change something. I call these times myself 'RITES OF PASSAGE'. For myself, and i don't claim to be any expert though some of my good friends have important intuitive roles, i have been fortunate enough to have the allies to turn to in respecting their boundaries to explore that purpose aspect. So, now i am more like...ooooh something good is coming...and i am on the neutral within lookout for that something. Usually outside my perception of that moment. So Randomness, Synchronicity etc.

I have offered my 'Conscious Explorer - Ancient Past Present Task' Series elsewhere. It will offer perspectives over the 13 parts so far of what has actually been done to us for millions of years. And, the purpose of being triggered with trauma that might have actually been chosen on the soul's level to evade all the Domination and Control aspects to prevent Soul Family alignments. So, you might be getting that call from them. In your dreamstate...knowing on some other level...longing etc. Because of the much first hand experience with people like Andrew Bartzis and Nickie Thetsy and many others....You realise that being uncomfortable IF you are courageous enough is a confirmation to all going on. I suggest these names for avenues if need be. As the courage to explore everything is one of your greatest allies i can assure you. The courage to explore different patterns of behavior and ways of being etc.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWO4JRIidOIkCAEUKCvkmXQ/videos


Good luck all

[Aspen]

OnoWSNbZY6w The last 30 minutes of this presentation Laura Eisenhower did at the Star Knowledge Conference really gives me hope and helps put together why the inner work is so important and how it can connect with the outer third dimensional world we live in and help transform it to something better.

[Alpha141]

I won't put too much more to this great thread...but the reason for such feelings potentially is from a soul's level you have already graduated. But the system is so locked down here for the entire universe, you are not able to go on to other realms to progress....Have a listen to the below from about 1h29min mark...a few minutes (i just republished this lost interview). Andrew Bartzis (Akashic access) gives the perspectives of this like no other:

Jj2sERtkE2A

Enjoy

[eaglespirit]

I have been posting of and sharing the Template( http://thetemplateorg.com/ ) work on my thread as has Dawn on Her thread/sharings.
I was directed to this wonderful talk by Lisa Renee from a Good Friend for those doing the work and touching/experiencing new personal realizations/emotions being discussed here...it is extremely good and helpful, imho:
http://www.energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resource-tools/news-shift-timelines/2563-transfiguration
I posted this link on the prior page but feel it rather important and 'spot on' relevant now so bringing forward for All to read as an energy rhythm, of the, and for Your(ever-evolving) Awakening Process.
Love to You All : )

[Hawkwind]

Hi again mom-


I guess the positive larger take-away for me is that my own awakening process is similar to (as well as unique from) many others.

Yep, sounds like a pretty good take away. Would you like fries with that?


I can’t say I believe in these White Hats or Benevolent ET assisters yet, but it makes me feel better to think that there are still good folks at high levels out there willing to assist, whether human or otherwise.

From Chapter 2 of the Tao te Ching-
“When the world knows beauty as beauty, ugliness arises
When it knows good as good, evil arises
Thus being and non-being produce each other
Difficult and easy bring about each other
Long and short reveal each other
High and low support each other”

The existence of Black Hats implies the existence of White Hats.
"To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction." - Isaac Newton


...so why did I have to “awaken” to all this crappy dark stuff just to go right back to understanding the need to appreciate the little things in life again?

Yep, I’m right back where I was before I started this stupid journey! The only difference is I’m not the same me that started the journey. Bill posted this yesterday, well worth watching, if you missed it.
-------

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YjpNMYCEN8


Perhaps the most frustrating part of this whole awakening process for me is the realization that I may never know the TRUTH about anything, whether it’s history, politics, or the creation and purpose of the human race.

The answer to the ultimate question of life the universe and everything is 42. (Please watch or read ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” if you don’t get the reference.)


So were the Twin Towers hit by real commercial jets, or were they holograms (a la John Lear)? Controlled demolition or nukes?

All that matters to me for now is that I’m sure beyond any doubt that the official story is a lie. If and when a sufficient public outcry arises to bring the real perpetrators of these crimes to justice I might be sufficiently motivated to try and separate the truth from the lies. Until and unless that happens, however, there seem better ways to spend my time and energy.


I fear I will never know and will have to continue searching in vain until I leave this particular planet

Who is forcing you to search, in vain or otherwise? Maybe, just maybe, the truth is pretty much what Alan Watts and other visionaries have been saying through the ages. There is only one consciousness in the universe and each of us is it, eternity experiencing itself in time from fractally infinite perspectives. Each of us inseparably connected to the whole and yet unique.
The process of coming to that realization is, basically, what I consider “awakening”, but it is a process. It’s been unfolding slowly over the years. I used to be in a hurry about it, but there came a point where I thought- if I’ve got all eternity to work on it, what’s the rush? Since then it’s been more a matter of letting it unfold than trying to force it. I do what I do, the best way I know how and if it feels right, I keep doing it. So far, I like the results.

[Bingo]

Hi awakeningmom,

I have had a lot of fury and tears, but now I am smarter, stronger, more conscious. I am kinder, more grateful, more compassionate and more forgiving.
I don't have answers but I am on a truthful and authentic path.
It's taken me 75 years to get here.
So thank you Powers That Were, because of you this lifetime isn't a total loss.

That's happiness for me.

[WhiteFeather]

Hello,

As my chosen user name indicates, I tend to see myself as being in some (early) stage of “awakening” at this point in my life. I realize “awakening” is a highly subjective and potentially offensive term to some (as in, I’m awake and YOU are sleeping). But for me, it simply means that my view of reality has been challenged, destroyed, and expanded on several fronts – political, historical, financial, spiritual. This awakening process is still in its infancy for me -- it’s been less than two years -- and I’ve spent the better part of these last two years reading voraciously, watching documentaries, attending consciousness/conspiracy conferences, participating on this forum, etc – probably all in an attempt to discover some elusive truth about who we are, who I am, and ultimately how to help humanity escape from what seems to be an ever-increasing and intentionally constructed nightmare.

Unfortunately, at times I feel overwhelmed by all this new found information/knowledge – and sometimes think that I was much happier before I begun this awakening process. Before, I had a comfortable life, a normal family, a satisfying career, and good friends who I thought were open-minded and curious. I voted down-the-line democrat, held (largely liberal) opinions of the world, and thought the world was messed up in places, but that we were still in the best country in the world…..

Fast forward almost two years later, and that (blissfully naïve) life seems forever irretrievable. I’ve lost some friends (not all) over my radical change, and I often feel so depressed/overwhelmed about just how awful the world is. I don’t trust my government anymore, I don’t trust any “leaders” (even in the alternative field), I don’t even trust doctors or the medical community. Instead, I worry about toxic vaccines, chemtrails, psychotropic medications, fluoridated water, GMO’s, false flags, intentional genocide, extreme wealth disparity – not to mention the NWO and its possible agenda, which is possibility aided/instigated by off-world negative entities? It’s so much to take in.

While I try to do my small part in trying to change some of the things that concern me now (mostly in the health related arenas), I can’t help but feel somewhat helpless in the face of so many problems and with the understanding that all of this could be a concerted effort to eliminate much of humanity. This depression and feeling of helplessness is deepened whenever I’ve tried to discuss such topics with close friends and family, who not only resist hearing the information but who often make jokes about my being a “conspiracy theorist” now.

I don’t mean to unload here, and I'm sure others have already gone down this road many times before, but sometimes I wonder what the point of my “awakening” was. Part of my reason for questioning this is because I have often felt guided by something, and I guess a part of me feels like this “awakening” was supposed to happen to me—i.e., that I was lead to the information at precisely the right time in my life. But it certainly doesn’t feel good a lot of the time and I don’t even know what I can do about the darker aspects of the world on any meaningful scale anyway (is trying to tell a few people enough? ) Yes, in many ways, the world has become a much more interesting place for me, but it’s a much darker place than I imagined.

So a few questions for the forum:

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

I would love to hear others' experiences and thoughts....:o

If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

Just plant some seeds around people. Carefully give them sunshine and water. Eventually it will germinate all around you. People will then perhaps flower and awaken with in your garden. We need more plants in our collective to shift consciousness, or perhaps we have enough already. Enjoy your awakening or Buzz if you will. ;) Its worth the trip awakeningmom.

We are all 1 tribe......

W.f.

[WhiteFeather]

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

I don't know, but I would rather be awake than asleep. I have always wanted to live a meaningful life and to help others. I think being awake is a better tool for those objectives, than being asleep. When I first awoke I was voraciously reading everything and anything connected to conspiracies. It was exciting and it made me feel alive, like a rebel :) However, much like yourself I also found it deeply disturbing, often scary and sometimes very confusing. I quickly discovered that there was a lot of disinfo. Some things were blatantly lies and easy to pick out. After several months or maybe a year I learned that the best disinfo was the type that was a mixture of truth and lies. More recently, after about 15 years of awakening, I increasingly have the feeling that truth is almost impossible to find. Even the things that are 95% true can lead you in the wrong direction.

I think looking at tons of conspiracy stuff has not been a waste of time. I think it has trained me to recognize the truth more easily, discard the lies more quickly. I like the analogy of a diamond expert: they learn to recognize fake diamonds and poor quality diamonds by looking at many of them.


2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

I have felt confident about the journey all along. But I have had times when I get frustrated, depressed or very worried. But, like others have mentioned, you learn to live with the truth and to find a new balance in your life with this knowledge. Milestones for me in this process of being okay with it:
a. being gentle with yourself. Its okay to take a break. If you burn out or commit suicide you can't help others anymore! I have learned that good self care, learning that it is not selfish to take care of yourself, learning to take breaks, not feeling guilty about numbing out when needed, connecting with nature and other like minded people has been very helpful.

b. focusing on the positive, cherish your freedom ("Die Gedanken sind frei" is a German saying my parents taught me). Cherish your family, pursue hobbies, develop your strengths, and if you are obsessed with studying conspiracy spend some time looking at the positive stuff. For example I am thankful for Benjamin Fulford even if I don't know if anything he says is true. It is just not healthy for any of us to be emotionally living in fear all the time, so I appreciate his rose coloured glasses view of reality. It is a proven thing that the more relaxed you are the better you learn, your creativity is improved and you can find solutions. I have stopped listening to Alex Jones years ago because I cannot take his fear mongering tone. In German there is a saying "der tone macht die music." So even though he often has cool guests and useful information the overall message I get from his site is "be afraid, BE AFRAID and ANGRY! BE VERY AFRAID!" SO I avoid his site the same way I avoid listening to the mainstream media or TV in general. I am thankful there are other alternative sites to listen to. In general I try to make a wide berth around fear porn. It is part of setting healthy boundaries for myself so I can retain sanity and health.
Lately I have been studying Laura Eisenhower because she has a wider view. Sometimes standing back and looking at the big picture gives us more objectivity. She has studied ancient myths and knowledge like that promoted by the Gnostics to try to make sense of how far back the human oppression goes. Sometimes looking at the big picture helps us to be better able to tolerate the misery and pain we are exposed to. She also teaches something to the effect that we are connected to the spiritual core of the planet and can change the destiny of the planet by being conscious and connected to it. It gives me hope, although I am suspicious of the New Age spiritual movement and believe much of it is simply another false religion designed to prevent us from awakening too much.

c. Don't be a Messiah. Sometimes ego ( or I don't know what!)gets in our way and we try to do it all, rescue the world, and develop an obsessive need to sacrifice ourselves in the process. This is unhealthy! That just doesn't work, its everyone's job to throw off oppression where they see it, safety in numbers. I like to say the Mantra while breathing in "I am sovereign" and then when breathing out "we are sovereign." (this is from James Mahu and what he teaches int he WIngmakers) I like what Simon Parkes said lately about calm confrontation. We can be involved with lifting the oppression on the planet but in a detached manner. I am talking about spiritual detachment.

d, Consciously changing practises in physical health, mental health, emotional health. I try to make changes gradually and not be too hard on myself. Like walking instead of running, art parties, getting together with neighbours instead of committing to social cause groups like a I used to, reducing coffee consumption, reducing sugar intake, leaving time between clients to recover, using herbal supplements, eating more veggies, etc. Lately I have been focusing a bit more on the spiritual (which I had given up on for a long time because of spiritual abuse) in the form of meditation and mindfulness practises and just being with all my relations on earth in a way grounded on unconditional love and respect.

3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually? I simplify my life, moved out to the country, spend time with people I love. I intentionally chose to pursue a career in counselling to help people heal from trauma and the intergenerational effects of trauma Even though I largely work with people one on one I am hoping for a ripple effect! As others have mentioned, I have also found it helpful to develop intuition and use it to guide decision making. I have been experimenting with pendulums and I have paid attention to guidance in the form of synchronicities and dreams for decades. I try not to take myself too seriously (humour) but do share information in a form that I hope is palatable to others on facebook and in person when people seem open and curious. I used to be involved in left wing politics, but have largely given that up as it was using up too much time and energy. It was too draining! However I sometimes participate in online petitions or smaller events when I feel led to. For example I really enjoyed every moment of participating in a Healing Walk at the Alberta Tar Sands.

Fantastic words Aspen. Wow!!!! As well as the many other blissful contributions from avies on this informative thread.

[WhiteFeather]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Px_Ua27nIdY

Some people describe feelings such as presented in this video.

I have personally had these moments at times with my sheeple family members. Great video. Asquali.

[WhiteFeather]

That is way too funny, Joe. Just a minute ago I was listening to that song!

Truly We are all connected. Cool Synch Wind.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_ePRGSX7n8

[WhiteFeather]

Awakeningmom, hmm!, here is a few comments on your different questions. I will write comments under the questions.


1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

Awakening was a moment in time where I couldn’t see my world with the lens of yesteryears. It started out while I was initiated to Mental Dynamic where I learn how to work with “energies”. Being part of a group, we were initiated on how to identify sickness in particular people at a distance. Were initiated on how to use our intuition. We discovered of the spirit path in one journey on Earth. We discovered the path of our spirit through reincarnation. Were also introduced to the Astro World, the invisible world.

Then I had a journey at the Edgar Cayce Institution where I was initiated to Reiki. And the learning keep on coming for years, and the ultimate came in a few years back when I had the pleasure of living workshops with a Peruvian Shaman.

To answer your question, I think that you already know the darker reality of this world, may you do something about it?, you may get involved in sending healing, loving vibrations on those that are in need of peace, love, distress, etc. You probably have started Meditation, if not, I highly suggest you make a start at it, you will increase your loving capabilities. And this will contribute increasing your consciousness.


2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

When I had these experiences, the instructors of that time was talking about awakening, but I tell you, all that came after that, it was awesome, never ending thing. At the time, doubts were not part of my learning, experiencing, I was feeling great about it all, and wanted more, and more came in every years.

No, I think that I took the right path all along, only have happiness on what came out of my experiencing. Yes my feelings about the process evolved, I was in continuous search of the unknown, and I was fortunate, I was a novice in a lot of things, and I think that I still have so much to learn. How?, I keep on going the learning process.


3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

I meditate every day, can’t do without it. I have an openness toward what keep me living, before raising up in the morning, I thank the different energies sources that keep me living during the night. I talk to these energies and to myself before getting up. I thank the burning wood that heat my home during the day/night. I thank the Air that I breathe, without it, I’m dead. I thank the Water that I drink, without it, I’m dead, and on with Earth, Fire, Aether, Light, Universe, Christ, Creator, my Spirit.

I try ever so discretly to share what I had the pleasure of learning, experiencing but never tried to imposed myself.

Active in opposing agenda, I guess that I have tried some actions, on a regional basis, but I would say not much. I think that I have been working more intensely within to continue the discovery.

The most powerful thing that I have found, is “LOVE”, in all your senses, in all your organs, in all my being, trying at time to be “unconditional”, but it a constant work in progress.

I wish you a great, amazing awakeness, I know it will be awesome for you because you have started a learning, experiencing the process.

The best to you!

Nice Deega. Love these words you posted.

[ChristinaB]

Your question was my question at one time.
I only want to share with you the answer I got. May be correct only for me.
Doesn’t t exist any awakening.
Sufferance comes only from ego, and an ego is that building I accept to live in, which was built by many builders’ ideas, not only mine.
Finding out things about the world is not freedom. Freedom is when I come to exercise some power. Not over someone or something. Taking seriously and joyously the way of creation. And creating the world.

[Gatita]

I have a better understanding of my life since my awakening.

Cat

[Tangri]

I’ve hesitated to reinsert myself into this thread (other than hitting the Thanks button) for fear of stopping the flow of so many helpful, generous, supportive, funny, and thoughtful responses. I’ve been reading through this thread multiple times and getting so much out of each response! Thank you to all posters – I am sure I’m not the only one who has gotten a lot out of the thoughts/advice/personal experiences being shared here, and I hope it continues.

I guess the positive larger take-away for me is that my own awakening process is similar to (as well as unique from) many others. And it is heartening to hear that many of you believe you are now in a happier -- or at least wiser/more authentic -- place after beginning the awakening process, whether it’s because you simply prefer the red pill over the blue – or because you have been able to recognize a deeper (spiritual?) meaning to all of this seeming chaos and dark/light duality.

I do recognize that I need to slow down and step back more often, though it’s true that I’m still spending inordinate amounts of time in front of my computer, toggling between mainstream and alternative media sites for hours, trying to get to the bottom of this Great Lie We’ve Been Sold – and trying to figure out how I can contribute to turning it all around. I now try to balance the “bad” stuff with some “good” stuff - i.e., researching “conspiracy” stuff one day and focusing on uplifting/educational stuff the next (like watching uplifting videos or perusing websites that discuss things like positive energetic changes and/or assistance from benevolent ET’s, white hats in the military, etc. or that simply provide good information about meditation or OBE’s). I can’t say I believe in these White Hats or Benevolent ET assisters yet, but it makes me feel better to think that there are still good folks at high levels out there willing to assist, whether human or otherwise.

I do also recognize the need to get out and go for a walk, hang with my kids/husband, plant something in my garden, read a novel, help someone else, etc. But the funny thing is – I did all of that BEFORE I was hit over the head with this stuff 2 years ago, so why did I have to “awaken” to all this crappy dark stuff just to go right back to understanding the need to appreciate the little things in life again? Pretty circuitous route!

Perhaps the most frustrating part of this whole awakening process for me is the realization that I may never know the TRUTH about anything, whether it’s history, politics, or the creation and purpose of the human race. Even the alternative explanations/theories to the mainstream narratives are often conflicting and fraught with intentional disinformation, internecine battles among researchers/whisteblowers, and pure flights of fancy. So were the Twin Towers hit by real commercial jets, or were they holograms (a la John Lear)? Controlled demolition or nukes? Was JFK murdered by the CIA, LBJ, the Vatican, the Mafia, the International Bankers – or all of them? Who are the highest level bad guys in this world and what IS their true agenda? Who/what CREATED us? So many conflicting theories, and I fear I will never know and will have to continue searching in vain until I leave this particular planet (and hopefully go somewhere more positive/less dualistic if I have any say about it!). Or maybe the point is to accept the unknowing and be ok with it...but then again, what's the POINT of awakening then?

Maybe the journey alone IS the whole point, but after waking up to the realization that I’ve been lied to my entire life about everything that matters, I’d like to think I have now earned the right to find the truth -- and that the rabbit hole isn’t really as bottomless and unfathomable as it now appears. Is truth objectively knowable or not?

Ok, looks like I'm leaning negative again. Maybe it’s time to get out into the sunshine and enjoy this beautiful Sunday! Thank you all again for so many wonderful responses. 

We can not be wiser than been before, only we can can have more awareness on our ignorance. At some point, maybe we become more humble on our existence.

[joeecho]

What I have come to realize (at least at this juncture) is that essentially our 'true self' (for lack of a better description) is never asleep. It is but a shadow self that is unaware of our true essence. Analogy: It's like ones consciousness is unaware of the unconsciousness (which is always awake) but because it is not equal/ similar to the conscious we know, it is not viewed as wakefulness.

Maybe a better analogy would be: Suppose there was something that nearly 100% of the people agreed upon was what it was and lets give it the random name of 'white'. What if one day that paradigm shifted 180 degrees and what was ALWAYS and RELIABLY known as 'white' turned out to be 'black'?

Wakefulness is like a paradigm shift. So much so that the most concrete certainty held is found out to be anything but and like Newton's Third Law, the truth is back on the throne (per say). Like the tumblers of a lock, everything falls into its place.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/18/Pin_tumbler_lock-all.JPG

Perhaps 'searching' for the truth is like trying to hack the greatest lock ever devised?

http://www.lockpickguide.com/images/fourpintumbler.png

[East Sun]

I would choose being awake and not as happy, to the opposite, any time.

I am by nature curious and want to know, no matter what the future may hold.

[Tangri]

I would choose being awake and not as happy, to the opposite, any time.

I am by nature curious and want to know, no matter what the future may hold.

Don't wish too hard. It is not a joyfully ride. The adaptation to routine gets hard after your first step.

[ZooLife]

Wakefulness is like a paradigm shift.



Perceptually, nothing has changed yet everything has changed.

http://cdn3.pitchfork.com/albums/21281/homepage_large.e8c7fe71.jpg

[East Sun]

I would choose being awake and not as happy, to the opposite, any time.

I am by nature curious and want to know, no matter what the future may hold.

Don't wish too hard. It is not a joyfully ride. The adaptation to routine gets hard after your first step.

It's a long time since I took the first step. It's the last step I'm worried about.

[Valley]

Awakening to the lies and extensive corruption in the world is one tangled mess... but Awakening to Who We Are and what we're capable of is where our true Power lies, as well as infinite joy and peace. We are Creators... let's use our powers of creation wisely and productively... and as positively as possible.
<3

[T Smith]

Hello awakeningmom,

I was listening to a radio program yesterday and was reminded immediately of your thread. Specifically, if you begin listening at the 2:42:12 mark, a clinical psychologist calls into the program and expounds on the psychology underlying the very feelings we are exploring here; he describes awakening as a grieving process we all go through as a result of shedding our innocence and illusions. By default there has to be an "unhappy" period when we grieve, even if we don't admit this to ourselves. I truly believe, just like grieving, that any unhappiness associated with awakening is but residual emotional states we work our ways through. It shall pass.

I only wish the host would have allowed this particular speaker to elaborate on his insights before interrupting . I thought they were very profound and specifically spoke to the theme of your thread.

Anyway, I thought I would share -- check in right at the 2:42:00 mark:

http://rss.infowars.com/20150224_Tue_Alex.mp3

[Iloveyou]

On the one hand we are powerful godlike beings with free will and the creators of our world (and maybe how we evolve has an enormous impact on a wide range of life in the universe). I'm convinced of that (mentally) although to be honest I've just begun to play around with creatorship and my (mostly un- or halfconscious) doubts, fears and I'm-only-a-little-man-what-can-I-do - thoughts are quite present all the time.

On the other hand we are children, each of us has a divine mother and father, is immensely loved, supported and protected. That I know from my heart, no doubts about it, I've experienced it many times.

Both is true.

Reading your words, awakeningmom, I felt to ask: how do you practice your relationship with the invisible (guards, angels, spirits, higher self), do you talk to them of what you feel and need like a kid who is running to its mom when things get strange? Long time ago I had a black circle (made of paper) in my room and a white / golden one. I practiced standing on it, watching how it felt, how things changed and switched between them. Maybe kids learn that way (with their whole body, not just with the mind).

Highest respect for your awakening process. You had to let go important things (comfortable family life, trusting your reality, feeling secure). I was never challenged to do so, because from the beginning of my life I felt that something in this place was wrong, absolutely crazy and insane, especially the way people acted and behaved (was hurt deeply many times (who wasn't?), began to fight, to strike back, then: resignation and disdain. Learning all the information in the alternative media and coming to know spiritual teachings confirmed me that it was not me who was wrong and insane.

Although it is a sacred place and (wo)men are sacred beings. Again both is true.

We are in a play, on stage and we perform the best and the worst. There are no rules or limitations except one: in the end all will be well, we get the applause, step off the stage and are unified again (even the darkest black forces that seem to be so arbitrary and independent).

Go on and much love on your way.

[terransage]

Sometimes I think I'm "awake," only to discover I'm still clinging to old notions and old ways of doing things. For me, the process has been a long, slow, bumpy and painful one, and there was a point when almost all of my (material) foundations in life crumbled away--everything I'd blindly built up and thought of as "the good life." Ironically, I started losing everything when I decided once and for all to commit to following my dreams. It forced me to face my inner demons, in a big and scary way. I didn't even know I harbored those "demons," but I sure found out the hard way. It seems the worst is over now. As I gradually piece my life back together, I've been experiencing more synchronicities, "ghost" sightings, psychic phenomena, etc., and my view of reality has shifted quite a bit. I think those are all signs that I'm on the right track--but I'm also aware that I have a long way to go. My joining Project Avalon a few days ago is part of the awakening process, I believe. Am I happier now than I was? I would say yes. I'm not experiencing bliss (yet), but I definitely feel more even-keeled, grounded.

[Poly Hedra]

Been going through this process for approx 10 years now and I have gone through so many stages. At the beginning I soaked up any bit of information I could find, Project Camelot videos, David Icke, Alex Jones. As the years went on I get focused on one type of information and decided it was better to be aware of everything that is going on , aliens, channeled information, nwo, satanic rituals.
There was never a time when I grieved the old way because I was always aware of the world not being so black and white. As a kid it was simple mainstream stuff ike ghosts, spontaneous human combustion and unexplained mysteries.
After a few years of looking at all the negative stuff going on in the world I became quite despondent and wondered whats the point? I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how best to tell people about everything going on in the world. I'll never forget how one day I was having a few drinks with a friend and a friend of his turned up and suddenly the subject of aliens came up. I mentioned that its possible they exist and he literally laughed in my face and loudly began to humiliate me saying "WHAT you believe this rubbish hahahaha!!" I was so angry. Belittle, embarrass people into not speaking out.

I went through a stage then of thinking ah its OK, its all going to be fine soon, one deadline after another, this is gonna happen by this date, the light will win over the dark on this date, aliens are gonna make contact on this date etc etc etc. Dates come and go, nothing changes. Thats how I feel now.
I started a thread over 2 years ago where I asked people for links to enlightened people as I was reaching a dead end with people I liked to research, videos I watched and I wanted new information. People gave their suggestions and a few people left very simple posts and said: everything you seek is within. I didnt understand and wondered what that had to do with my thread.

Only recently I understood more, looking to experts for answers, looking for dates, waiting for something or someone to save us, waiting for utopia, always looking outwards for answers. I still love and lap up information. Recently I read The Ra Material and I love Dolores Cannons work. I look for threads of truth among everything, these books among lots of other info has a truth but now I trust my own intuition to guide me.
As to the question of whether I try to tell others anything? Not anymore I'm afraid, not worth the effort. I have come to the conclusion that the only way I can help others/the world is to do what I love to do. By doing this I am giving to the world. Inelia Benz talks about this among others.

Generally feeling cynical, hopeless, hopeful, content, excited, lost and love.

[Observer1964]

What is waking up if you find yourself in a nightmare?

I felt happier when i was dreaming I was free and could become whatever I wanted.

How happy do you feel when your comfortable paradigm is shattered and replaced with this reality.

I am only happy that I am no longer believing lies. But long for the comfort of believing everything is good.

[Natalia]

Sometimes reality sucks,

but then there is a different kind of fairytale...

[Natalia]

2E_hqDp0B_A

[cruza-1]

There is many interesting and varied replies to the OP's original post. The replies in themselves indicate that everyone's 'Awakening' or 'Journey' is different.
The 'Awakening' is like a Christmas tree, every one comments on how good or how bad they look. When in actual fact they are describing their perception of the decorations, not the tree its self or what it represents.

I am fortunate, in my pre-teens I was always 'Aware' of my surroundings / environments, yet I had little understanding of 'Why me'. In my teenage years this 'Awareness' grew stronger, to the point that I preferred to be alone within nature and not subjected to the conformity within society or peer pressures of teenage life. In my mid twenties I received an 'Awakening' to the realities of the real world / universe. I gained insight, and acquired mass knowledge. To this day I am still learning and understanding what is happening. I gained the ability to join ALL the dots.

It has not been an easy life, but a balancing act, the more I learn and understand the more I am tortured ... I do not live in a perfect world, but I have to live here. Would I change anything, yes & no. I have helped many people, shown them guidance along 'their' path so that they may have an easier transition than myself. Like any good doctor, you get educated, so you may save lives, occasionally a life is lost ... and it is painful. Until you try and experience, you will never know ... then you have free choice as to which direction your journey will take. This is the 'Awakening' the knowledge.

The 'Awakening' is a beacon to others, both light & dark, you can't have one without attracting the other. I will only know how well I have succeeded when my spirit leaves this body.

[Observer1964]

On the positive side...
Living through hard times and challanges defines, matures, and strenghtens your character.

[ZooLife]

What is waking up if you find yourself in a nightmare?




Are you sure the nightmare is the 'awake' part?


Remember the Onion.

No more fears.

No more tears.


http://www.missmoss.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/bubble-pop-01.jpg

[cruza-1]

On the positive side...
Living through hard times and challanges defines, matures, and strenghtens your character.

This is very true, I find the more you are challenged the more aware you will become ... it's an education. The more aware & educated we can become, the better a person we can be.

Reading the previous posts brings several thoughts to me.

I studied Behavioral Science, I found that Psychologists & Psychiatrists look at people through clinical eyes. Therefore; they have a clinical answer for everything they do not fully accept or understand.
For example; I can communicate with plants ... now scientific fact, 'Kirlian Photography & Tomato plants' yet, talk to a therapist about this and you will be required to do extra therapy and to explain how & why.
Many Behavioral Sciences do not full accept cultural or spiritual beliefs or the gifts that people posses and understand. On occasions I have been able to employ my abilities and understandings to help others. I believe under clinical conditions / testing I would not be able to do this. Why, it's more a show or exhibition to prove a point it is not a dire need to help another human or animal in a dire situation.

[ZooLife]

"Awakening --> to -----> Awake"

restated as.......

"You cannot get there from here"


Awakening may give you an inkling of Awake but it will always be an inkling.


Awake is beyond description (ironically, that is also an inkling).


Sure, you can be awakened and awake to 'things' like corruption in authority, spiritual beliefs, concepts, quantum physics etc. etc. That type of awakening and sense of being awake may have practical and entertainment value but it is not Awake.... absolutely.

http://www.stickingtobusiness.com/cfx/images/rolling_cents.gif

[awakeningmom]

I agree that "awakening" is a process and only a small inkling of being "awake." -- Being truly "Awake" seems an impossible state to achieve, at least in this 3D reality awash in so many layers of political, historical, and spiritual deception.

One of the things that makes me crazy is trying to understand WHY I am even seeing the things I see now, while most of my friends and family do not (and don't want to, either). Why did all this "truth" hit me so hard, when they are simply going on with their lives, posting pictures of their cute kids and great trips on facebook, etc... These are smart people who can even see "pieces" of the puzzle -- like maybe GMO's, or vaccines, or psychotropic medications, or even what happened to the 2000 election. But even those who recognize corruption in one aspect of the system cannot see how that corruption is systemic. So, friends who are quite willing to acknowledge Monsanto as corrupt and the science of GMO's deliberately flawed wouldn't dream of questioning the official 911 narrative and would look at me strangely if I even suggested it. How can this be? I am no smarter than they are -- and yet things in the world are so clearly (and dangerously) wrong to me. And this "knowing" affects me on a daily basis, while friends simply go on, happier without the knowledge, it would seem.

[Selkie]

I agree that "awakening" is a process and only a small inkling of being "awake." -- Being truly "Awake" seems an impossible state to achieve, at least in this 3D reality awash in so many layers of political, historical, and spiritual deception.

One of the things that makes me crazy is trying to understand WHY I am even seeing the things I see now, while most of my friends and family do not (and don't want to, either). Why did all this "truth" hit me so hard, when they are simply going on with their lives, posting pictures of their cute kids and great trips on facebook, etc... These are smart people who can even see "pieces" of the puzzle -- like maybe GMO's, or vaccines, or psychotropic medications, or even what happened to the 2000 election. But even those who recognize corruption in one aspect of the system cannot see how that corruption is systemic. So, friends who are quite willing to acknowledge Monsanto as corrupt and the science of GMO's deliberately flawed wouldn't dream of questioning the official 911 narrative and would look at me strangely if I even suggested it. How can this be? I am no smarter than they are -- and yet things in the world are so clearly (and dangerously) wrong to me. And this "knowing" affects me on a daily basis, while friends simply go on, happier without the knowledge, it would seem.

In other words, "why me?" Maybe its one of those inscrutable things, not given to us to know (about ourselves).

Or maybe it has something to do with your children. Your awakening will/has affect(ed) them profoundly, I am sure.

[Mark]

I have been awakened since my earliest years. That sounds strange, but my very first memory is of lying in the grass, looking up at the sky and feeling at one with the entire world. My earliest undeniable kensho/satori experience was at the age of 12 and I've experienced two more, of successive intensity and ineffability over the decades since. Having been socialized within the Christian faith, I had no context and therefore experienced intense confusion during my youth over why I was experiencing things that nobody I knew was, or why I was so different from those around me, no matter their age. This resulted in failed efforts to "fit in" and to pretend to be "normal", whatever that is, which never worked, as something about me immediately notifies those with eyes to see and ears to hear that I was somehow different in some way.

In the years since, watching the world "catch up" in a sense, has been an exercise in validation, as the things I've been interested in and known since the youngest age have become more or less mainstream. Being Gen-X, those in my cohort span the distance between not only profoundly different generation mores but also shifts in the world that have seen technological advances of an almost incomprehensible nature. Simultaneous to this technological shift the cultural shift has resulted in cognitive dissonance on a mass level for a large proportion of the population who continue to resist the Awakening into a more inclusive and spiritual collectivity that must evolve in order to co-create a sustainable worldview that will return the world to its state of pristine beauty and abundance.

Being tasked in this endeavor by these higher spiritual energies is the very stuff of destiny and fate, while at the same time being indicative of the innate drive toward free will expression and the manifestation of intention and the "gifts of the spirit", which reverberate at the levels of quantum entanglement, emanating outward from change agents into the greater human family, shifting those able to be shifted, resulting in a stark differentiation between the two types of people in this world. Those who can awaken and those who cannot, during this particular cycle of spiritual evolution.

For me, personally, it has been a profound exercise in validation. To witness the world, and people, shift so quickly has reaffirmed the nature of individuated experience as well as connectivity. I rarely write so openly about my life or my experiences, as they seem unbelievable to some, but the time to hide in anonymity is past. These are the days to be who we are proudly and openly and to live life according to ones innermost nature and orientation. Those on the other side of the equation certainly are and have been for millennia.

I cannot say I am "unhappier" since my awakening, as it has been a constant state for all of my life. But I can say that the burden of knowledge that others do not have, of experience that others cannot claim has produced a greater sense of alienation from the collective over the years. An alienation that has, thankfully, been lessening as the years have passed and the world has changed for better and for worse. Whatever the future may hold, the wages of experience have solidified and what will be will be, irregardless of that fundamental and dichotomous differentiation that continues to provide us with plentiful opportunities to grow and expand our horizons to encompass the potentialities of all we can individually and collectively be, in the face of terrors and triumphs that lie at the far range of our abilities to truly encompass or visualize.

[petter]

Deleted post

[Bluegreen]

Thank you all for posting. An excellent thread.
I, too look around and cannot believe people can't see this evil criminal activity in front of their faces, they're almost slapping us in the face with a dead fish. I am fortunate to have a family that accepts me and doesn't have a major problem with it, but they do think I'm crazy. I think, "That's okay, they're good-hearted people, they'll make it, I'll do the work for them." Just as I don't want to listen to my brother-in-law go on and on about his "squadron" and their latest exploits in his online gaming world, he doesn't want to listen to me go on about Building 7, which I don't think is unreasonable. It may have something to do with the fact that I haven't watched TV or gone to the movies since about '91, or rarely, I don't know, my rabbit ears are only able to tune in sporting events, I don't understand it, and it's difficult for me to drown out a very effective and ongoing control system. I am put in mind of the Gospel of Thomas:

His disciples said, "When will you appear to us? When will we see you?"
Jesus said, "When you strip without shame and put your clothes under your feet and trample them like little children, then you will see the living one and you will not be afraid."

And that, admittedly, is a pretty tall order. I think what he's saying is to be telepathic you have to live in complete, 99% won't do it, love and without secrecy; your life, indeed your whole being has to be an open book, and a larger percentage in this forum than the general population understand that and may be willing to actually take the step suggested above by Jesus but I'm not there yet. So, just as my family cannot see something that I'm certain is right in front their faces, I too cannot see something that I'm certain is right in front of my face. So to answer the OP I would say no, I'm much happier now.

[awakeningmom]

I found this zen gardener article to be really useful to describe the awakening process I've been going through....I seem to have passed through most of his 'stages' like clockwork: Waking up to the cabal's manipulations? Check. Feelings of alienation from family and friends? Check. Wondering if there's a spiritual war going on? Check!

https://deusnexus.wordpress.com/2014/04/23/introduction-to-awakening/

But I just want to say, I am so grateful for this forum. There are times I am completely unable to muster the energy to keep up the friendships I have enjoyed forever, simply because there's so much I want to talk about, but can't, even to friends of 30 years or more -- or even my own brother. I'm hoping I'll meet some more people who are awakening and interested in the things I'm interested in soon, but I am so glad I can come to this forum and read such thoughtful posts and communicate with all of you. I am learning so much from everyone here!

As for meditation and finding a true spiritual or frequency raising practice, that's been a tough one for me, though I am trying. I do try to meditate and have even tried some of the OBE exercises recommended on this forum. So far, nothing has seemed to put me into a state of truly deeper awareness or given me the deep knowledge that all is not as it seems (i.e., spiritually/metaphysically). I do envy some of the members here who are able to have all these amazing OBE's or who have been "aware" of a greater reality since childhood. I hope I am not missing out on all of this because I am not living in 100% love!

[cruza-1]

I can fully empathize with you & your situation awakeningmom, I to walk the same road for the past 40 yrs. All I can say is you will learn to adapt to various people and situations. After a period of time you will understand more.

It is a big step to open up to others that you have never met & do not know, but it is very comforting to know that you will not be judged or condemned for your feelings, thoughts and experiences from these unseen forum friends. That only have best wishes and intent for you.

If you where to walk down a straight road you would get bored fairly quickly. All the hills, twists and turns make life's journey very interesting and educational.

As far as living in love, do not be to harsh on yourself. There are people 'globally' who love you for who you are and you have never met, seen, nor spoke to them & never will. Therefore; YOU ARE living within a 100% loving environment. We all live in many and varied environments at once ... it's life.

[ulli]

I found this zen gardener article to be really useful to describe the awakening process I've been going through....I seem to have passed through most of his 'stages' like clockwork: Waking up to the cabal's manipulations? Check. Feelings of alienation from family and friends? Check. Wondering if there's a spiritual war going on? Check!

https://deusnexus.wordpress.com/2014/04/23/introduction-to-awakening/

But I just want to say, I am so grateful for this forum. There are times I am completely unable to muster the energy to keep up the friendships I have enjoyed forever, simply because there's so much I want to talk about, but can't, even to friends of 30 years or more -- or even my own brother. I'm hoping I'll meet some more people who are awakening and interested in the things I'm interested in soon, but I am so glad I can come to this forum and read such thoughtful posts and communicate with all of you. I am learning so much from everyone here!

As for meditation and finding a true spiritual or frequency raising practice, that's been a tough one for me, though I am trying. I do try to meditate and have even tried some of the OBE exercises recommended on this forum. So far, nothing has seemed to put me into a state of truly deeper awareness or given me the deep knowledge that all is not as it seems (i.e., spiritually/metaphysically). I do envy some of the members here who are able to have all these amazing OBE's or who have been "aware" of a greater reality since childhood. I hope I am not missing out on all of this because I am not living in 100% love!

I used to feel like this myself, wishing to have more of those 'wow' experiences.
Studying astrology was perhaps a symptom of such ambition.
But then I settled into accepting that not all have these abilities, and one can see it in someone's chart-
usually it has to do with the placing of Neptune in relation to the other planets, or if the sign of Pisces is prominent.
By studying astrology I learnt that we all have different missions.
I learnt to distinguish between such terms as insight, inspiration, intuition, imagination, instinct, psychic flashes, and how they all differ in their energetic patterns.
Basically we all come here with unique gifts which we can develop further.
If we were to ignore them because of fascination with something more astonishing we might miss our soul purpose.

The real path is found when one can discern the needs of the age one lives in and sets out to serve, using all one's capabilities.

Service to others, building communities, creating beauty, helping people to become unstuck from false or fixed ideas...when working in this manner then often new abilities can develop faster than if one struggles with ancient meditation practices.
One might be sewing curtains and observe one's breathing...even that is a form of meditation.

Feeling fulfilled is synonymous with happiness.

[Roisin]

Hello,

As my chosen user name indicates, I tend to see myself as being in some (early) stage of “awakening” at this point in my life. I realize “awakening” is a highly subjective and potentially offensive term to some (as in, I’m awake and YOU are sleeping). But for me, it simply means that my view of reality has been challenged, destroyed, and expanded on several fronts – political, historical, financial, spiritual. This awakening process is still in its infancy for me -- it’s been less than two years -- and I’ve spent the better part of these last two years reading voraciously, watching documentaries, attending consciousness/conspiracy conferences, participating on this forum, etc – probably all in an attempt to discover some elusive truth about who we are, who I am, and ultimately how to help humanity escape from what seems to be an ever-increasing and intentionally constructed nightmare.

Unfortunately, at times I feel overwhelmed by all this new found information/knowledge – and sometimes think that I was much happier before I begun this awakening process. Before, I had a comfortable life, a normal family, a satisfying career, and good friends who I thought were open-minded and curious. I voted down-the-line democrat, held (largely liberal) opinions of the world, and thought the world was messed up in places, but that we were still in the best country in the world…..

Fast forward almost two years later, and that (blissfully naïve) life seems forever irretrievable. I’ve lost some friends (not all) over my radical change, and I often feel so depressed/overwhelmed about just how awful the world is. I don’t trust my government anymore, I don’t trust any “leaders” (even in the alternative field), I don’t even trust doctors or the medical community. Instead, I worry about toxic vaccines, chemtrails, psychotropic medications, fluoridated water, GMO’s, false flags, intentional genocide, extreme wealth disparity – not to mention the NWO and its possible agenda, which is possibility aided/instigated by off-world negative entities? It’s so much to take in.

While I try to do my small part in trying to change some of the things that concern me now (mostly in the health related arenas), I can’t help but feel somewhat helpless in the face of so many problems and with the understanding that all of this could be a concerted effort to eliminate much of humanity. This depression and feeling of helplessness is deepened whenever I’ve tried to discuss such topics with close friends and family, who not only resist hearing the information but who often make jokes about my being a “conspiracy theorist” now.

I don’t mean to unload here, and I'm sure others have already gone down this road many times before, but sometimes I wonder what the point of my “awakening” was. Part of my reason for questioning this is because I have often felt guided by something, and I guess a part of me feels like this “awakening” was supposed to happen to me—i.e., that I was lead to the information at precisely the right time in my life. But it certainly doesn’t feel good a lot of the time and I don’t even know what I can do about the darker aspects of the world on any meaningful scale anyway (is trying to tell a few people enough? ) Yes, in many ways, the world has become a much more interesting place for me, but it’s a much darker place than I imagined.

So a few questions for the forum:

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

I would love to hear others' experiences and thoughts....:o

There are different kinds of awakenings that many of us go through throughout our lives and the one you are describing is what I went through when I went off of college and learned new things about the world around me where everything that I previously believed about things was challenged to such an extent, I experienced moments of post-modernist ennui. I think university does that to a lot of people hence why so many end up dropping out because they have problems handling new information like that where they'd rather just go back home to keep their existing paradigm and belief system intact. Going out of their comfort zone was simply too much for them to handle on an intellectual, emotional and spiritual level.

Then there is the personal transformation that takes place in the late 30's and early 40's where the person goes through what Carl Jung calls "Individuation" which can be very much like a spiritual awakening in so many ways. Then you have the Astrological viewpoint involving the square of Pluto at ones midlife followed by the mid-point arrival of Uranus around 40 to 42 which is then followed by the midlife Neptune phase. Each person experiences the onset of midlife differently but for all it's a rite of passage into the next era of our life where we move on and put aside our youthful quests for something more substantial and meaningful. Everyone has their own definition for that of course.

Then there are the kind of spiritual awakenings that occur that are much more dynamic .... that take the form of Kundalini-like Awakenings... that also often times results in a psychic awakening too. From what I gather after reading over a number of posts in this thread, that's the kind of awakening most seem to be describing here. Something like this can happen at any age but after one goes through something like that, they then realize that there is much more to our world than what meets the eye. That there are realms beyond our own where those intelligences that inhabit them will sometimes bleed through the veil that separates us from them to the point where sometimes one wonders if there's really any real separation at all. But this is only the beginning because whatever psychic potentials we had before become fully realized during this time period where from there we can choose to ignore them or develop them to their fullest extent. That's the lifelong endeavor from that point forward but this kind of awakening does not happen to everyone. Why that is, I don't know.... Yet, on the other hand, the more people who go through this kind of awakening, the more others out there will have one too. In fact, I think we are very close to the tipping point where the hundredth monkey effect may well be happening as I speak. So what this means is that those who are already awakened, will be able to assist those who are going through their own awakening/personal transformation like this by reassuring them that they are not crazy and that whatever they are experiencing wrt unusual paranormal type events is just part of the process. A good book to read about this process is The Stormy Search for the Self: A Guide to Personal Growth through Transformational Crisis by Christina Grof and Stanislav Grof (Jun 1, 1992)

[Selkie]

Awakeningmom, I've been wanting to tell you that in the early stages of awakening...when I was in my mid-30s...I was much, much unhappier than I am now, but that feeling is beginning to pass, for me. Hang in there: it gets better with time :)

[awakeningmom]

Dear Ulli and Roisin,
I have actually been trying to understand my own chart -- maybe, as Ulli suggests, as a way to try to get to a wow/mystical experience myself. From what little I know of my chart so far, I do have planetary aspects/placements that suggest psychic abilities or mystical experiences (e.g., a Grand Water Trine/Kite, several planets in the 12th House, Neptune in Scorpio, etc.) but so far, I have not had a true kundalini experience or any other experience where I felt catapulted out of this 3D reality in a way that would allow me to understand/truly grok that this is somehow a game, test, school, matrix, prison, etc. I've tried various techniques: hemi-sync, a water isolation tank, meditation, kundalini yoga classes, but still here I am, still unsure about why we are here, what's really going on on a metaphysical/spiritual level, and why we have to go through all of THIS seeming crap and bad guy domination. It seems that those who have had such mystical experiences don't have to wonder about these things as much anymore -- they have a "knowing" that I still lack.

Once, when I was in my 20's and living in the Caribbean, "God" came to me in my room (at the time I thought it was "Jesus" -- I was raised Catholic) in the form of a very powerful golden light. It wanted to appear to me and tell me something important, but I begged it to go away, knowing somehow that I would die if I had to face it face to face. The being/energy did as I asked, and I have since often wondered if that's the problem -- that I sent it away and now I don't get a second chance? Or is it that my pineal gland is too calcified? And if so, what do I need to do to de-calcify it?

My husband says I might be "trying too hard" to have an "experience" and he might be right. But so many who have had these experiences say we are "ALL" capable of having these experiences, that we are all psychic, etc. so I haven't given up yet. It just seems that having this experience, this knowing, is a big key to being able to accept at some level what is going on in the world, without always feeling overwhelmed by it.

[Selkie]

...Once, when I was in my 20's and living in the Caribbean, "God" came to me in my room...in the form of a very powerful golden light. It wanted to appear to me and tell me something important, but I begged it to go away, knowing somehow that I would die if I had to face it face to face. The being/energy did as I asked...

Yes, awakeningmom, that was a mystical experience...and a very fine one :)

It left when you asked it to because it respected your free will. In your 20s, you were probably too young to face the idea of "dying". You were probably too young to know that "dying" did not mean your physical death, but just the death of your ideas about who and what you are.

Detachment is a gradual process, and it never ends, anyway, so be gentle with yourself and cut yourself a break :)

[awakeningmom]

Thank you for your kind words Silkie! But it's been 25 years since that experience -- I'm ready now and hoping it comes back! :)

[triquetra]

Just wanted to say that everyone who is progressing ahead of the pack is really doing themselves a favor by ensuring a lot less work will be needed on themselves later when things get more urgent.

Because children are not going to have the same kind of issues since they need to do this kind of work less and less with each passing generation (the indigo effect and then even younger is like a uv effect), there is a sliding scale on this making it a very adult-centric issue.

One thing I can say about the future is that it is not as though the many will be made to suffer for the irresponsible choices the few made on their behalf to bring the world to its knees. There will be justice sooner than most expect.

The many will not sit idly by and let it happen, but they will not rise up in conflict, as the design of increasingly scarce resources is meant to make us do.

We will be building in a new direction that is incredibly hard to believe, but once the information is out on how it all works (and it's all coming out, hopefully all within this year), and you really think about it, then it will be like the real version of what the False Light was promising but without any external involvement (which is why it's more trustworthy).

We do not need to have a deus ex machina effect beyond what has already occurred (a large quantity of benevolent symbolic information has been beamed to quite a few here on earth). We have all the information we need to build what we need to combine with the ascended/awakened/(let's forget about these overloaded words) state we achieve to once and for all move on from lifetime after lifetime in this highly tailored 3D experience that is not at all anything like what would have naturally occurred without external manipulation that has been happening since the very beginning of our recorded civilization.

Once all the info is out everything will click together like when you find out at the end of a mystery novel who did it and how everything worked out going all the way to the beginning of the novel. There was a reason for everything based off of survival.

But survival of all parties aside, things are going from bad to worse so unless we can get the unlikely outcome of restoring this earth completely the more likely outcome is building the means to teleport our light bodies away from here and I (and many others) can explain exactly how to do it.

You did the right thing by awakening earlier than others because you can help others and it will feel incredibly fulfilling to do so, it will bring great purpose to life.

[awakeningmom]

I thought this article by Zen Gardener about the awakening process was really uplifting. Wanted to share. :)

http://www.zengardner.com/beginning/

[cuitlahuac]

Hello,

As my chosen user name indicates, I tend to see myself as being in some (early) stage of “awakening” at this point in my life. I realize “awakening” is a highly subjective and potentially offensive term to some (as in, I’m awake and YOU are sleeping). But for me, it simply means that my view of reality has been challenged, destroyed, and expanded on several fronts – political, historical, financial, spiritual. This awakening process is still in its infancy for me -- it’s been less than two years -- and I’ve spent the better part of these last two years reading voraciously, watching documentaries, attending consciousness/conspiracy conferences, participating on this forum, etc – probably all in an attempt to discover some elusive truth about who we are, who I am, and ultimately how to help humanity escape from what seems to be an ever-increasing and intentionally constructed nightmare.

Unfortunately, at times I feel overwhelmed by all this new found information/knowledge – and sometimes think that I was much happier before I begun this awakening process. Before, I had a comfortable life, a normal family, a satisfying career, and good friends who I thought were open-minded and curious. I voted down-the-line democrat, held (largely liberal) opinions of the world, and thought the world was messed up in places, but that we were still in the best country in the world…..

Fast forward almost two years later, and that (blissfully naïve) life seems forever irretrievable. I’ve lost some friends (not all) over my radical change, and I often feel so depressed/overwhelmed about just how awful the world is. I don’t trust my government anymore, I don’t trust any “leaders” (even in the alternative field), I don’t even trust doctors or the medical community. Instead, I worry about toxic vaccines, chemtrails, psychotropic medications, fluoridated water, GMO’s, false flags, intentional genocide, extreme wealth disparity – not to mention the NWO and its possible agenda, which is possibility aided/instigated by off-world negative entities? It’s so much to take in.

While I try to do my small part in trying to change some of the things that concern me now (mostly in the health related arenas), I can’t help but feel somewhat helpless in the face of so many problems and with the understanding that all of this could be a concerted effort to eliminate much of humanity. This depression and feeling of helplessness is deepened whenever I’ve tried to discuss such topics with close friends and family, who not only resist hearing the information but who often make jokes about my being a “conspiracy theorist” now.

I don’t mean to unload here, and I'm sure others have already gone down this road many times before, but sometimes I wonder what the point of my “awakening” was. Part of my reason for questioning this is because I have often felt guided by something, and I guess a part of me feels like this “awakening” was supposed to happen to me—i.e., that I was lead to the information at precisely the right time in my life. But it certainly doesn’t feel good a lot of the time and I don’t even know what I can do about the darker aspects of the world on any meaningful scale anyway (is trying to tell a few people enough? ) Yes, in many ways, the world has become a much more interesting place for me, but it’s a much darker place than I imagined.

So a few questions for the forum:

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

I would love to hear others' experiences and thoughts....:o

These years are to be very difficult, but before things get better, they become worse. There's going to be tribulations before the Golden Age. Even in this difficult years, being awakened is much much better than being a happy slave. But honest to say, I don't even see Happy Slaves anymore these days.

[Iloveyou]

A comment here (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?86134-Wake-Up-Avalon....&p=1024060&viewfull=1#post1024060)made me ponder (but it fits better in here)

The trap, the matrix, the prison. You look at it, you stare at it, but you don't see. You get a glimpse of it, you know it, you even comprehend for a second, but you don't get it. You can't wrap your head around it, although the logic and obviousness couldn't be more striking. You feel it is true, but how could you accept that the apparently solid ground you're standing on is and has always been a Fata Morgana (I know one cannot stand on a Fata Morgana, as it is something being percieved visually in the distance, lol).

At a certain point you decide that you are 'awake' enough to relax, while trapped in (alternative) habitual thinking (of course 'you' is not directed at anyone personally).

Outside the forum, some of the rather newly 'awakened' - or the ones at the edge - like me (but maybe some of the old hands too?) need to read the same page (which in fact isn't) again and again and again and again and again to penetrate the fog in one's own mind. The tendency of even very knowledgable, aware and alive humans to make oneself comfortable (as long as one is secure, warm and well-fed) is generally underestimated.

[Valley]

The 'awakening' to the lies/cover-ups/atrocities to Humanity committed by power hungry/greedy/domineering types... is just the awareness of a phony/fabricated society... One designed to make the many confused and struggle, so that only a very small percentage can continue to 'dominate' and stay in power. This corruption of society has many different 'branches'... such as the poisoned food industries, the sick medical industry with the phony/laced/contaminated shots, unnecessary operations/treatments, and pill-popping nonsense... the now obvious military/war industry... the clearly currupted political systems... the news/mass-media madness campaigns... the secret space programs and 'back-door dealings' with ET races... the frequency-altering wireless high-tech industries, which many times are designed to slowly 'cook' people alive using deadly microwave oven frequencies... and the fictitious/phony/manipulated monetary system which breeds more greed and clashing classes of the people. Those are only some of the corruptions we can find in this world today, and we're finding more and more on a regular basis... Thanks to a growing number of 'insiders' who are coming to their senses and coming forward to inform the masses. (Keep 'em coming.)

While all this corruption is being revealed to us all, more and more completely every day... I can understand how many people may be getting more and more angry/frustrated with all this 'bad news'. But, this is all actually Good and what needs to happen first in order for humanity to make informed decisions about changing this 'situation' for the better of All. I see that we are now at a major turning point in society, where the 'pendulum' is ready to swiftly swing in the opposite direction... which means that we will quickly see the complete crumbling of the old, corrupted systems... and a new, beneficial system taking it's place.

What I now see as perhaps a final major hurdle/obstacle/awakening to realize, is our own negative thinking patterns... Because we need to now 'set aside' our reactionary negativity, so that we can proactively move forward to create a positive/loving 'New World'. If we truly wish for a 'greater day', then we are well-advised to begin with our own state of mind... right Now. We need to clearly see that We are creating our future with our own conscious energies... and that negative energy/focus creates negative results... and that positive energy/focus creates positive results. How will you choose to use your consciousness?

Love to you All...