Self Care: what are your favourite methods of grounding and calming yourself down?

[Aspen]

As a trauma therapist I have to do a lot of self care. In today's stressful times we can all stand to learn additional ways of learning to relax, calm down and ground ourselves that are healthy and easy to do. One of my favorite ways is to go to the Project Avalon forum and interact with other like-minded people. But often we live too much in our heads. For good mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health it is good for us to spend time each day relaxing and getting ourselves into our bodies. What are your favorite tried and true methods? Please post videos and links to articles with summaries of some of your favs! Some of the more common ones are:

- taking a walk in nature
- deep breathing
- dancing
- watching a sunset
- spending time with people you love
- a long soak in the tub
- listening to relaxing music
- napping
- enjoying a hot drink like my fav, chai tea

Whether you are experiencing additional stress, trying to heal from a recent loss, experiencing triggers from past trauma, or just having a hard time in everyday life - it is important to give yourself this type of medicine every day. It's just as important as eating well or exercise; intentionally take time every day to give your whole self a break! Many of us are always pushing ourselves and never really take a break! It's part of loving yourself in a healthy way and respecting yourself. Take responsibility for your own mental well being and healing. Apparently the entire planet benefits when we learn to do this, as it raises our frequency energetically.

[Aspen]

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If you have to spend a lot of time in an office and can't get outside, it helps to listen to the sounds of nature in the background. I love to have these on when doing the dreaded paperwork!

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Did you know that there is an earthsong that NASA has recorded that sounds like birds? They call in "chorus." It comes from recordings made in the radiation belts.

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[Michael Moewes]

First: Shine or Shamata Meditation (Buddhist Tradition), for at least 10 to 15 minutes.
Second: Workout by speed walking, followed by Walking maditation ( taught by Tich Nath Han )
third: meet with friend, see the picture, and have a chat.

http://i1375.photobucket.com/albums/ag461/Mike_Moewes/My%20friend_zpsst5dalib.jpg

[Selkie]

How I deal with being upset changes depending upon the situation. Sometimes I like to take a long soak in a very hot Epsom salts (magnesium sulfate) bath, into which I put essential oil of Lavender. But at other times, a brisk walk is better because it burns off unneeded adrenaline.

Just as an aside, I don't do well with meditation. I become too "float-y" and out-of-it.

[Michael Moewes]

Try guided meditation by a genuine Master. There are actually three masters in the US, which I consider as extaordinary. 1st Dzochen Ponlop Rinpoche. 2nd Shenpen Dawa Rinpoche. and 3rd Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche(He's actually in India but will return soon).


Just as an aside, I don't do well with meditation. I become too "float-y" and out-of-it.

[Natalia]

for me, I love and constantly do: singing, dancing, playing fun-fun, giggling, loving, eat quite well, get peacefull alone time (pink Himalayan salt lamp, non toxic candles, etc), rest, listen to music, buy myself little treats, without over doing it financially (like today I got an organic vitamin C moisturiser, a mascara and lip gloss - my main girly gifts to myself for the month, last month it was sexy underwear). I go out with friends sometimes (not very often) and need to go in nature more...(edit: and could do with a boyfriend! *giggle* :) )

[Jean-Marie]

I am with Silkie!!!

I also love healing teas! Yogi teas or Traditional Medicinal brands. I make my tea, pour Dr. Teals Lavender Epsom salts into a hot tub and I HEAL away!

Not only does it reset my energies and balance my soul, but it also seems to stop illness from coming on.

While I am soaking I allow my mind to drift away creating beautiful visions of a peaceful, harmonious Earth!

IMO, this is the best medicine for me!

-jean-marie

[Selkie]

I am with Silkie!!!

I also love healing teas! Yogi teas or Traditional Medicinal brands. I make my tea, pour Dr. Teals Lavender Epsom salts into a hot tub and I HEAL away!

Not only does it reset my energies and balance my soul, but it also seems to stop illness from coming on.

While I am soaking I allow my mind to drift away creating beautiful visions of a peaceful, harmonious Earth!

IMO, this is the best medicine for me!

-jean-marie

When I am feeling in need of care at bedtime, I like to sprinkle essential oil of lavender on my sheets and go to sleep in a cloud of scent. E.O. of lavender is very centering and calming, and if it is pure e.o. it will not stain the sheets.

[Jean-Marie]

Silkie same here.

I keep oil of lavender and lavender linen water by my bedside!

:heart:

-jean-marie

[Bluegreen]

Walking barefoot.
Our bodies are electrical first chemical second and we spend a lot of time concerned with the latter with vitamins and nutrition and so on as well we should but to get those neural pathways buzzing with honest to goodness electricity we have to provide something to work with and we get these electrons from the planet Earth by making direct contact and Nikola Tesla could probably tell you more about it than I can.
;)

[Selkie]

Walking barefoot...

Yes, definitely.

I love the feel of cool grass under my feet in summer. Watching out not to step on bees in the clover, of course.

[Guish]

1. Exercise. I've been practising the following exercises for two years now and I benefited a lot from them.

http://www.mkprojects.com/pf_TibetanRites.htm

2. Meditation. It's my way of knowing the absolute.
3.Ignoring negative people. Don't hate them. A lot of people can't handle their realities and vent on others.
4. Living in the moment. When I go home, I forget about work. Letting one's mind wander makes a person lose the current moment.
5. Correct breathing. When one starts to be stressed or overwhelmed with work, the body is tensed and the breathing is quicker. Consciously breathe slowly and let the thoughts settle down.
6. Appreciate what you have. I see my mother constantly complaining about everything she sees or what others do. Bless what you have. Often you have much more for a smooth life.
7. Simply be.

[raregem]

ASPEN: Wonderful thread you started.
I played all 3 videos at once, decided to listen to "nature" and "birds" together w/o "cosmos" sounds. It was marvelous and so soothing.

To calm myself I do slow, conscious deep breathing.
It was hard to do this when I was upset. So, I made myself do 3 deep, slow breaths -which wasn't a large number (my lack of focus) yet very hard to make happen quickly. I was reactive/ subconscious controlled, not observer. This breathing has quickly changed my sense of BEing.

I take my dog, Prince on nature walks. He runs free and I have meditative moments absorbing the sun. No sunglasses.

I take H2O2 baths and do deeper meditations during my soak. Lights off. (on a side note: hydrogen peroxide, 3% store grade, 8 ounces in a tub of water, soak for 15-20 minutes and your gray hair will start turning back to it's natural, original color in next few days. It's gradual and works. No hair dyes required. No orange hair ! Works at cellular level)

[Aspen]

Wow, what great suggestions! I never though of playing all three videos at the same time. . . .lol. A medicine man that I go see from time to time suggests baths with a cup of sea salt and some rose water. I have been doing that from time to time all winter. He says it helps with cleansing negative energy that we may pick up during the day. He says I should do it at the end of each day that I see clients recovering from a trauma. I have to admit I like my hot baths int he morning to help me wake up.
I have only been doing the salt baths aabout twicea month. It seems expensive to me to pour the salt down the drain like that! However I love the rose water and have bought it in a sprtizer bottle and use it once or tice a day. It oifts my mood. . . . Yo can make your own by soaking rose petals, handfuls of them, a glass or crystal bowl of water for about two hours outside in direct sunlight. It keeps well in the fridge. I like to pick the wild roses.
I am definitely interested in the hydrogen peroxide 3% for in the bath. Ill report back about the hair colour change! I have lots of gray.

[Sunny]

I like to take a hot shower, use perfume or essential oils and get on the internet.

Flower essences can be helpful. I use Bach Flower Remedies for many healing situations.

When my father was dying, I was at the hospital 8 hours every day. I found it was draining psychically to spend that much time there. I had brought a bottle of Yarrow essence by Flower Essence Services, which I took. Yarrow protects you psychically. It was helpful for me in that situation.

[Heartsong]

I sing.

The last thing I need to do is "go inside my mind". I need to get out of my head and into the world. I need to express myself out loud.

I turn on some music specially collected for this purpose, and let go,out of my mind, riding on my breath, and out into the cosmos.

[Aspen]

I am curious about the type of music you find beneficial Heartsong? Here is one of my favourites for relaxation: 4lpsdKuhJ-g


My husband finds the flute music annoying but I love it, the way it is in harmony with nature.

[Aspen]

One of the most effective techniques that I have found to use with clients and myself for self care is a special breathing technique that combines visualization with deep breathing. You imagine your breath going through your heart area. You place your hand on your heart when you first learn this to provide focus. Then the most important step: you think of a very positive memory or relationship that you cherish. While you are taking your deep breaths (belly breathing from yoga) you imagine the distinct emotion of this positive memory or relationship going through your heart region. It works very quickly, more quickly than breathing alone for most people.

It is from the HeartMath Institute and is called the "Quick Coherence Technique" They have done scientific study of this technique by hooking up people to machines measuring parts of their nervous system etc. http://www.heartmath.com/quick-coherence-technique/

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A written description of the technique http://www.heartmath.com/quick-coherence-technique/

DK7x4lIKEfU ANother loner video of the Heart Math QUick Coherence technique

[Aspen]

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This is my daughter's contribution to this thread. Relaxing piano music combined with beautiful nature photography.

[Aspen]

Okay - last post today - the power of the 20 second (or more) hug:

"Here’s the shocking truth: hugs boost our happiness levels. And scientific research is there to show this. Basically, a good hug is the fastest way for you to get oxytocin flowing in your body. Oxytocin, also known as the “love drug”, calms your nervous system and boosts positive emotions. Here’s how a good hug resulting in oxytocin flow affects you:

It lowers your blood pressure, especially helpful if you’re feeling anxious.
It lowers your cortisol (the stress hormone), enabling a higher quality of sleep.
It can increase your social connections and a sense of belonging.
Because of these findings, it might be no surprise that studies have also shown that couples who hug more are more likely to stay together. Some reports have even shown hugs can reduce pain.
. . .
There’s only one catch: It has to be a GOOD HUG! Which means, it has to last at least 20 seconds."

http://www.happyologist.co.uk/fun/the-shocking-truth-behind-hugs/

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watching hugs can also have a measurable effect in humans, because we have such a strong ability to visualize/ imagine.

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" study published earlier this month suggests that, in addition to making us feel connected with others, all those hugs may have prevented us from getting sick. At first, this finding probably seems counterintuitive (not to mention bizarre). You might think, like I did, that hugging hundreds of strangers would increase your exposure to germs and therefore the likelihood of falling ill. But the new research out of Carnegie Mellon indicates that feeling connected to others, especially through physical touch, protects us from stress-induced sickness. This research adds to a large amount of evidence for the positive influence of social support on health." March 17 2015 article in Scientific American http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/a-hug-a-day-keeps-the-doctor-away/

" researchers in Sweden found that the otherwise robust association between job strain and mortality risk disappeared among men high in social support. In fact, low levels of social support can increase the risk for premature death more than commonly known factors like smoking or alcohol consumption, according to a review paper that examined data for over 300,000 people around the world. . . .

Interestingly, social support may be beneficial for the giver as well as the receiver. Researchers at UCLA scanned participants’ brains while their romantic partners were receiving electric shocks next to them. If the participants held their partners’ hand during the experiment, their brain regions associated with fear attenuation were activated. This finding indicates that offering social support through physical touch better enabled them to cope with the stressful experience."
from the same March 17, 2015 article http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/a-hug-a-day-keeps-the-doctor-away/
:hug:

[Gatita]

I like swimming and reading. I also like weight lifting, but I think I pushed my sore shoulder too much recently. I have also been known to self medicate with cherry topped French cheesecake. Not my best choice, but still better than alcohol, tobacco or overuse of prescription medications.

Cat

[Aspen]

First: Shine or Shamata Meditation (Buddhist Tradition), for at least 10 to 15 minutes.
Second: Workout by speed walking, followed by Walking maditation ( taught by Tich Nath Han )
third: meet with friend, see the picture, and have a chat.

http://i1375.photobucket.com/albums/ag461/Mike_Moewes/My%20friend_zpsst5dalib.jpg

I love Thich Nhat Hahn and his teachings about mindfulness. When I walk I like to think about the connection to the earth and the animals and plants that I am with right now. Apparently we all have two entire sets of nervous systems that are parallel to each other. Mindfulness is connecting to the system that enables us to be present in the now (and also to be aware of any dangers that may be out there). Connecting with that nervous system helps us to get out of our minds and into our body. Use of the breath and awareness of our weight on the ground we walk on is part of the practice of mindfulness. I love this simple description of what the practice of mindfulness is. So simple and yet so profound!!! xD7i6VUOriI "Mindfulness makes us aware that we do not need to run anymore for conditions of happiness . . .many of us have run for our whole life and we have the impression that we have not got what we want . . . the practice of mindfulness helps us to stop planning, to realize that happiness is possible int he here and now so that you can nourish yourself and heal yourself"

The practice of mindfulness is being scientifically verified to be good for the treatment of a number of mental health conditions. Here is a list of mindfulness videos recommended for this purpose based on Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings that come from Buddhism. http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/youtube_mindfulness_videos.html

The type of meditation taught by him is the only kind that I have felt safe enough to practice. I am mistrustful of out of body experiences, or like others have described, the feeling of floating away. I wonder if others on PA could please describe what their successful meditative practices have been like. How does it feel and what does it do for you? thank you

[Guish]

I am mistrustful of out of body experiences, or like others have described, the feeling of floating away. I wonder if others on PA could please describe what their successful meditative practices have been like. How does it feel and what does it do for you? thank you

Hi Aspen,

As in any meditation technique, you can choose whether you want to go deeper or not. I've been practising Zazen for years (10 years) and I have experienced a lot of interesting things. Zazen is excellent for detachment and having the No-Mind state. Why? Reality as we see it is not constant and people try to hold on to moments/objects. Why No-mind? The mind is a monkey and it jumps around. It needs to be still so that one can see the depth of one's soul. It has been practised by Martial art adepts to get full concentration and be in the moment.

At the start it'll help to calm your mind and you'll feel feel very serene. In my journey, I've gone through states where I didn't feel like eating or not even breathing. I also battled with Kundalini. I could spend a long time without breathing when I was in touch with the "void" behind the mind and the body. Nevertheless, you can choose not to go there. It'll always be your choice. The risk is that once people experience the abolute/void, they might want to stay there because there's so much peace. That's another trap by the ego. The ultimate realisation is that we are all connected and we see everyone with equal eyes. If you want to keep your bliss for yourself, it becomes spiritual ego which is another sort of ego developed by people who meditate.

Haha, I'm not sure whether I helped you my friend.

Cheers,
Guish.

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For your Reading:

http://anmolmehta.com/blog/2007/03/11/how-to-meditate-by-yourself-zazen-practice/

[Aspen]

Thank you Guish, I enjoyed both the video and the article. It does reduce some of the apprehension I feel about meditative practices. I suppose one of them is that two of my friends have reported hearing voices or appearing to be contacted by other beings while in a meditative state. I wonder how common this occurrence is? One of them had been practicing TM for many months. Another states that his spirit guides are with him all the time and have identified themselves as specific beings (one of them an archangel) that give him information all the time about clients he sees for readings. I would prefer the void experience that you talk about!

[Guish]

Thank you Guish, I enjoyed both the video and the article. It does reduce some of the apprehension I feel about meditative practices. I suppose one of them is that two of my friends have reported hearing voices or appearing to be contacted by other beings while in a meditative state. I wonder how common this occurrence is? One of them had been practicing TM for many months. Another states that his spirit guides are with him all the time and have identified themselves as specific beings (one of them an archangel) that give him information all the time about clients he sees for readings. I would prefer the void experience that you talk about!

The key of Zazen is not to get disturbed by anything. The void lies between one's inhalation and exhalation. The silence between these two is where the bliss lies. As you go deeper, the length of the silence increases till a point where even breathing seems to stop. Start your practice and keep me updated. Good luck.

[Selkie]

Peeps should be aware that meditation can have very serious adverse effects:

http://www.suggestibility.org/surprise.php

I am not trying to be contrarian. It is just that I think peeps ought to have as much information as they can before embarking on a course of action.

an addition

http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~wegner/pdfs/Wegner,Broome,%20&%20Blumberg%201997.pdf

[Guish]

I suggest that you visit this thread http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?860-Enlightenment-and-related-matters.&p=950550#post950550 to understand meditation/spiritual practice. I looked at your links and you need to know that not all spiritual masters are genuine ones. Also, meditation doesn't make you ignore factors causing stress. It calms your mind so that you can take decisions in the best mental state.

[Agape]

Peeps should be aware that meditation can have very serious adverse effects:

http://www.suggestibility.org/surprise.php

I am not trying to be contrarian. It is just that I think peeps ought to have as much information as they can before embarking on a course of action.

an addition

http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~wegner/pdfs/Wegner,Broome,%20&%20Blumberg%201997.pdf


Of course there's a truth in the above ... although 'TM' ( transcendental meditation ) technique like many other 'exported' techniques is purely artificial construct ,
developed to train - and entertain - groups of people together
and from my practical point of view , I'd not recommend it .

The truth is .. whereas now 'in the West' meditation techniques became popularised as handy remedies for stress , and way to heal and rediscover your potentials
and what else do you get ..

their original meaning is/was far from being 'lives easy remedy' .

In most traditional Buddhist monasteries students - whether monks, nuns or lay practitioners are first taken through thorough philosophical and yogic training before they are allowed or even advised to meditate for prolonged periods of time.

There are exceptions to the rule of course ( i was one ) for people who are naturally very meditative , and experience meditative states consciously during their lives without outer guidance .

Even then , receiving practical instructions on your meditation as an individual can be priceless .

There are many 'traps' long term meditators have to encounter and recognise before moving forwards safely ,
to be done properly , meditation is an ant work requiring lots of patience .


And it is implicitly stated ( where authentic , ancient resources are concerned ) that meditation should be started from clean , sober , calm and healthy mind .

If you're upset , severely upset , disturbed , in shock, grieving someone or something too much ,
you won't have great success with your meditation as such , neither your problems will automatically dissolve and dissipate .

Yes there are advanced techniques on how to utilise your emotions in meditation but those belong to the 'secret tantra class' and require certain empowerments to be effective .


:heart:

[Selkie]

Peeps should be aware that meditation can have very serious adverse effects:

http://www.suggestibility.org/surprise.php

I am not trying to be contrarian. It is just that I think peeps ought to have as much information as they can before embarking on a course of action.

an addition

http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~wegner/pdfs/Wegner,Broome,%20&%20Blumberg%201997.pdf


Of course there's a truth in the above ... although 'TM' ( transcendental meditation ) technique like many other 'exported' techniques is purely artificial construct ,
developed to train - and entertain - groups of people together
and from my practical point of view , I'd not recommend it .

The truth is .. whereas now 'in the West' meditation techniques became popularised as handy remedies for stress , and way to heal and rediscover your potentials
and what else do you get ..

their original meaning is/was far from being 'lives easy remedy' .

In most traditional Buddhist monasteries students - whether monks, nuns or lay practitioners are first taken through thorough philosophical and yogic training before they are allowed or even advised to meditate for prolonged periods of time.

There are exceptions to the rule of course ( i was one ) for people who are naturally very meditative , and experience meditative states consciously during their lives without outer guidance .

Even then , receiving practical instructions on your meditation as an individual can be priceless .

There are many 'traps' long term meditators have to encounter and recognise before moving forwards safely ,
to be done properly , meditation is an ant work requiring lots of patience .


And it is implicitly stated ( where authentic , ancient resources are concerned ) that meditation should be started from clean , sober , calm and healthy mind .

If you're upset , severely upset , disturbed , in shock, grieving someone or something too much ,
you won't have great success with your meditation as such , neither your problems will automatically dissolve and dissipate .

Yes there are advanced techniques on how to utilise your emotions in meditation but those belong to the 'secret tantra class' and require certain empowerments to be effective .


:heart:
Yeah, every situation, school, teacher and technique has to be judged on its own merits, and its effects on the individual. That is how a person guards themselves against harm.

[A Voice from the Mountains]

If you're working on something on the computer and want a little white noise, there are hundreds of videos like this that I find relaxing. Might not fit the bill for everyone but there's definitely a niche community for it.

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