AutumnW
7th July 2015, 20:00
I haven't posted here much since my husband died, about a year ago. It has been a sad year but could have been much worse. I found out I had more friends than I realized. My husband and I both believ(Ed) strongly that the soul survives death. This made his death so much easier to get through. It was very sudden and pretty much unexpected.
The other thing that helped a lot was going numb. Many people mistook this 'non reaction' for 'strength', or emotional coldness. It's neither. It just takes a long time to emotionally process a sudden cessation of someone's body. You detach and things play out like a film, for quite some time. To a large extent a person in this numb state can go about their daily life, their social facade in place.
In my case, I couldn't quite do that. I was overwhelmed if I had to be in the company of more than one person at a time. I couldn't figure out what was being said, what people were talking about.
It made me reflect on all of the parents who have been falsely accused of murder because they were in shock and not registering grief in the way society expects, after their child disappeared or was found dead. And Sandy Hook, too. How many times just after that occurred did I receive the video clip of the Dad carrying on after his daughter's death, as if nothing happened? Like that was proof of a conspiracy? Not quite. It is proof the guy knew but didn't 'feel' his daughter was gone yet. Also, he may too, have had a very strong belief in the afterlife.
Most people were so wonderful and kind but a very few responded, acted like they were right out of WTFville. Not, "just don't know what to say," either. That is understandable. I didn't know what to say either. I am talking about narcissists so incapable of getting past themselves, they are confiding in you about 'their depression' or trying to engage you in an emotional flying Wallenda number, revolving around them, when you are on autopilot.
I was so uplifted by so many but so terribly appalled, at the same time. Thanks to all forum members who have responded already! It meant a lot to me!
The other thing that helped a lot was going numb. Many people mistook this 'non reaction' for 'strength', or emotional coldness. It's neither. It just takes a long time to emotionally process a sudden cessation of someone's body. You detach and things play out like a film, for quite some time. To a large extent a person in this numb state can go about their daily life, their social facade in place.
In my case, I couldn't quite do that. I was overwhelmed if I had to be in the company of more than one person at a time. I couldn't figure out what was being said, what people were talking about.
It made me reflect on all of the parents who have been falsely accused of murder because they were in shock and not registering grief in the way society expects, after their child disappeared or was found dead. And Sandy Hook, too. How many times just after that occurred did I receive the video clip of the Dad carrying on after his daughter's death, as if nothing happened? Like that was proof of a conspiracy? Not quite. It is proof the guy knew but didn't 'feel' his daughter was gone yet. Also, he may too, have had a very strong belief in the afterlife.
Most people were so wonderful and kind but a very few responded, acted like they were right out of WTFville. Not, "just don't know what to say," either. That is understandable. I didn't know what to say either. I am talking about narcissists so incapable of getting past themselves, they are confiding in you about 'their depression' or trying to engage you in an emotional flying Wallenda number, revolving around them, when you are on autopilot.
I was so uplifted by so many but so terribly appalled, at the same time. Thanks to all forum members who have responded already! It meant a lot to me!