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AutumnW
7th July 2015, 20:00
I haven't posted here much since my husband died, about a year ago. It has been a sad year but could have been much worse. I found out I had more friends than I realized. My husband and I both believ(Ed) strongly that the soul survives death. This made his death so much easier to get through. It was very sudden and pretty much unexpected.

The other thing that helped a lot was going numb. Many people mistook this 'non reaction' for 'strength', or emotional coldness. It's neither. It just takes a long time to emotionally process a sudden cessation of someone's body. You detach and things play out like a film, for quite some time. To a large extent a person in this numb state can go about their daily life, their social facade in place.

In my case, I couldn't quite do that. I was overwhelmed if I had to be in the company of more than one person at a time. I couldn't figure out what was being said, what people were talking about.

It made me reflect on all of the parents who have been falsely accused of murder because they were in shock and not registering grief in the way society expects, after their child disappeared or was found dead. And Sandy Hook, too. How many times just after that occurred did I receive the video clip of the Dad carrying on after his daughter's death, as if nothing happened? Like that was proof of a conspiracy? Not quite. It is proof the guy knew but didn't 'feel' his daughter was gone yet. Also, he may too, have had a very strong belief in the afterlife.

Most people were so wonderful and kind but a very few responded, acted like they were right out of WTFville. Not, "just don't know what to say," either. That is understandable. I didn't know what to say either. I am talking about narcissists so incapable of getting past themselves, they are confiding in you about 'their depression' or trying to engage you in an emotional flying Wallenda number, revolving around them, when you are on autopilot.

I was so uplifted by so many but so terribly appalled, at the same time. Thanks to all forum members who have responded already! It meant a lot to me!

Cardillac
7th July 2015, 21:18
@AutumnW

my deepest condolences go out to you about the loss of your husband; but if the following may be of help to you do research the incredible legacy of former Finnish Minister of Health Rauni Kilde (she passed about a 6 months ago) available on YouTube;

she was an incredible entity aware of so very many, many things; I bet if you just go to YouTube and click-on 'RauniKilde/there is no death' you might find something;

I apologize profusely for not being able to provide you with a concrete link (I can't keep everything in my head) but just research/plow through her incredible legacy- you might find condolence-

be well-

Larry

RunningDeer
7th July 2015, 22:57
I was so uplifted by so many but so terribly appalled, at the same time. Thanks to all forum members who have responded already! It meant a lot to me!


Most people were so wonderful and kind but a very few responded, acted like they were right out of WTFville. Not, "just don't know what to say," either. That is understandable. I didn't know what to say either.

Sorry for your loss, AutumnW. Continued peace and health to you. :hug:

Like you, I was surprised by the range of behaviors. It was mostly supportive. I caught myself go into caretaker role when my son passed all the while thinking, “Shouldn’t this be the other way around?” A part of me understood full well why I hid there.

One account that sticks in my mind was just a week into this new surreal life. I was walking down an empty hallway. At the other end a colleague rounded the corner. He kept looking at the wall and touching it every few feet. The only sounds were the echoes of our shoes over the diamond checkered floor. It was a damn long hallway that day. It wasn’t until I said, “Good morning,” that he quickly respond back but continued to look at the wall. Poor guy.

Early on, I found that many acted as if loosing a son was catchy. I understood people didn’t know what to say. In confidence, some shared the biggest fear and worry was loosing their kids from a senseless death from a car accident, suicide, drugs or alcohol.

Paula <3

RunningDeer
7th July 2015, 23:03
@AutumnW

my deepest condolences go out to you about the loss of your husband; but if the following may be of help to you do research the incredible legacy of former Finnish Minister of Health Rauni Kilde (she passed about a 6 months ago) available on YouTube;

she was an incredible entity aware of so very many, many things; I bet if you just go to YouTube and click-on 'RauniKilde/there is no death' you might find something;

I apologize profusely for not being able to provide you with a concrete link (I can't keep everything in my head) but just research/plow through her incredible legacy- you might find condolence-

be well-

Larry

Here’s a four minute clip.

Dr Rauni Kilde: There Is No Death
Kg-jwK97ejE
<3

AutumnW
4th June 2016, 22:48
Thanks so much, Running Deer and Cardillac. And double thanks for the link. I am so sorry I didn't respond back sooner. I have been very preoccupied and offline, for the most part. I quit forums for a couple of years for obvious reasons.

Running Deer, the experience of losing a child has to be the most painful experience anybody can go through. My heart goes out to you. And the response from your workmate illustrates the appreciation some people have of that fact and how awkwardly they express it. (Or not!)

I was so relieved that 9 out of 10 people were kind and said the right things. Even if they weren't exactly the right things, they were close enough.

I have a neighbour, like your workmate, who hasn't spoken to me yet and actually runs the other way if she sees me in the supermarket. Two years later!

I am feeling much stronger and have made huge changes in my life in the last year. Life looks better.