What Woke You Up?

[Matt P]

Flashback thread!

I've had several people over the years, while discussing current events, alternative info, 9/11 and other such events, ask me "What woke you up?" I think my answer always surprised them. So I was asked again the other day and so I had a silly little idea to pose this question to the forum, just out of personal curiosity. So I did some searches and what do you know...this exact question was put to the forum back in 2011. It was a pretty good question, too, based on the 7 pages of responses. Some familiar faces in there, too.

I had such a wonderful time reading members' stories of how they "woke up" I thought I would share it with newer members. Here it is:

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?16319-What-woke-you-up&highlight=what+woke+you+up

If I may be so bold to piggieback on another person's great idea, I thought it might be fun for newer members to also share their stories if they are so inclined.

For me personally, I don't consider myself awake at all. I am awakening but I still feel like I have a loooooong way to go. I prefer to think of myself as more aware and conscious than average. Compared to some people I might be considered "awake" but compared to many others, I'm still just a pup. But I can point to a very early and very specific childhood memory that acted as a cold splash of water on my face and a feeling of opening my eyes into this world for the first time. I was 3 or 4 years old and it's one of the few memories I have of this age at all. But from this one moment on, my entire world was different. I was no longer just going along as part of the flow of the current, I was aware of everything...conscious of my surroundings at all times. Anyway...to my story...my father was a good man but was verbally abusive to those closest to him, especially the women in his life. He has never been a good father but at least he was always my friend and I could talk to him. But even at an early age I saw his behavior as being bad and I remember always feeling so bad for his wife or girlfriend (he had several) or people he was rude to. I must have already known this at 3 and 4 years old. Word is that when I was a young child I was pretty big brat. I still get teased about it. Something must have been rubbing off on me. My father's brother was visiting and I broke a nice vase accidentally. My uncle turned to me and asked how I broke it and I looked right at him and said, "I didn't do it!" That's when he leaned over, looked into my eyes with a piercing stare I'll never forget and said quietly, "You are JUST like your father!" with a coldness that literally was like a slap in the face. I say I "must've known" my father acted badly because I knew instantly that that was the worst thing he could've said to me because I knew that I did NOT want to be seen as acting like my father. I still remember standing there after my uncle left the room, just looking around, staring at everything like, oh, so this is reality and I am in it and I have a choice of who I am. I made a choice that moment to not be like my father and have been aware and awakening ever since. I have no doubt it was this event that allowed me to see, do and be so much more later in life. Yes, it was a negative event but I didn't see it that way even as it was happening. He was so right and I needed to hear it. A couple of years ago, I thanked my uncle for that experience and being so important to the path I would take in life. Funny thing is, he didn't even remember it!

I could wax on and on about this and other specific events later in life, opening up other doors, but I'm more interested in reading your stories if you'd like to share.

Matt

[Gaia]

A friend lent me Barbara Hand Clow’s Alchemy of Nine Dimensions. This book woke me up he was putting concepts in a context of the cosmos and the multi-dimensional nature of reality. Aliens, ETs, angels, demons it was all part of it.

''We are not alone in our universe, or beyond. We are part of a network of nine dimensions that coexists and interact with each other''


Then that same friend turned me onto George Kavassilas who had a 6 hour YouTube lecture that would blow my mind even more. I started listening to his podcast Super Woo Radio and all of this was so far out yet so interesting to me. I ventured into fringe knowledge and esoteric subject matters and it changed the way I see the world forever.

p.s. It pains me so much to see old friends long gone...

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...at+woke+you+up

[Selkie]

I remember being awake when I was very little. Then I went to sleep because I had to learn to navigate in an inimical family system. I started to wake up again when I was about 13 years old, and I had repetitive dreams in which I was struggling and struggling to open my eyes, but that my eyelids seemed to be glued shut. I went back to sleep because I was too young, and because I was still enmeshed in that horrible family system.

Many years passed, and when my boys were little, I went to college for nursing so that I could earn a good living and take care of them. Then one day, when I didn't have very long to go before getting my degree, I was talking with my mother. I was looking off into the distance, dreaming out loud to my mother about getting a good job...because I had straight A's...and living at the beach with my two boys. All of a sudden, the air changed. I looked at my mother, and she had a murderous look on her face, like she wanted to kill me. She looked at me and said, "You're selfish for going to college.", and then she got up and walked away.

I sat there stunned. I could not move. I felt like I had been shot through the heart. And although I did not know it at the time, I went into a depression. I just knew that I could not study and I could not think, and that I wanted to die. My grades plunged from straight A's to F's, and I simply stopped going to class. I didn't even drop out. I just stopped going.

So that depression lasted for 10 years. But during those ten years, I discovered Ayn Rand, and her little book The Virtue of Selfishness. And that was the start of my awakening. Being psychically shot through the heart by my mother led me to find Ayn Rand, and reading Ayn Rand was the beginning of my awakening. After that I found many books about all kinds of things I had never heard of before. I used to haunt the book stores, looking for books.

So in a word, it was betrayal. Betrayal is what led to my awakening.

[Sunny-side-up]

For me personally, I don't consider myself awake at all. I am awakening but I still feel like I have a loooooong way to go. I prefer to think of myself as more aware and conscious than average. Compared to some people I might be considered "awake" but compared to many others, I'm still just a pup.
Well put and snap mpennery

I have never really been asleep, that is I've never really been mainstream, news, science, way of life etc!
Have always said things where not like that and or wrong! Having an inquiring mind which was/is open
Unfortunately I used to be very shy and introverted around anyone other that very close friends, so I never got on to doing anything with my point of view, awareness :(
But I guess what really woke me was:
Meditation and self inflicted, experimental altered-states!
I saw the universe and my self in very different light after having some very deep/powerful meditative experiences.

Another wake up was early childhood drawings of an Alien face (Jimmy) and my house with a landing pad on top of it, was studding those that oped me up as-well!
That Alien face is the same face a friend of mine describes seeing in his room while on holiday in the Isle of White England as a young child (I had a holiday there as a child as-well!)
but I didn't know that friend until my 30's. While in my 30's I was doing said meditations.
Now while walking our dogs late one evening, me and my friend both say what I call 'The Cuttlefish UFO' was amazing and we both witnessed it! He seems to remember it moving over us while I just remember it coming towards, then my memory is of me at home? but no journey getting home! Missing time I guess.
Funny how we both had little green goblin faces in early childhood ha?

These events woke me to the fact that what most people call reality (mainstream, news, science, way of life etc) is far from the true reality.
Then I just started seeing injustice and misleading news, events that I now now are the illusions and false flags!

I've always been out side of most of the norm stuff, It's never resonated with me, Luckily

PS: I had bad schooling years, and I'm glad of that, you see I was never fully programmed (Domed-down, indoctrinated it the PTW reality) :)
Sorry babbling, nice post

[PRAGMAE]

I was always discussing everything when I was a child. Asking questions (not normal for some). I wreck my scholarity with that. When I have a question and someone come with an answer, I want a real one. Couldn't find this in general so I think my mind builded a natural radar wich has never enough. Plus the ultra presence of catholic church (that betrayal feeling like Silkie says) in my family wich I think really helped me to fly away. Then the matrix started to reveal more and more.

Later (6-7 years ago), I had a period whenever I checked a watch/clock, the time was always semi-mirroring. For example, 10:10, 22:22... Several times a day for months. That last phase bring me to Avalon. Don't know why/how but it did.

That didn't happened for years but it happened again few weeks ago, for smaller periods.

Like if that "hours phenomena" was linked in some kind of ways to my awakening. And the more I work on myself, the less I see it.

[ZooLife]

Spiritual coffee started the wake up for me and slowly translating into the foundation of 'nonbeing' (there has never been a sufficient word for this but it will have to do) for being.

http://www.mysticmoons.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/witch40-217x300.jpg

[Cardillac]

as a child I often experienced what we would label "paranormal" experiences; some continue to this day (although very rarely- nothing frightening but just completely bewildering) so I was always open to "new ideas";

then came 9/11; as I was watching this unfold live and as I had once previously witnessed controlled demolition I thought "these buildings are being detonated" (but if one has read Dr. Judy Wood's "Where Did the Towers Go?" it seems there maybe more than controlled demolition- but that's another topic); I was completely bewildered on that fateful day; I thought to myself: "who could be that MEAN to do something like this?!"- I felt completely lost and didn't know where to begin to find answers;

then once I met my present life's partner, due to his brother, my life's partner put me wise to David Icke's research; then the floodgates opened; as stated in esoteric circles "when the student is ready the teacher will appear"; since then I've had many teachers (Farrell, Levenda, McGowan, Hancock, J. Marrs etc.; it's a long list) and I continue to consider myself to be an eternal student and the world's foremost expert on NOTHING;

please stay well Matt and all readers-

Larry

[ghostrider]

The interview with Bob dean ...

[lucidity]

Everything depends on what you mean by 'woken up'. For my purposes
'woken up' refers to being aware of (some of) the lies in the world.
If 'woken up' means being aware of "ultimate realities" of ...
... god the universe and everything.... i'm still asleep.

In December 2010 there was a news report that Wikileaks were saying
that top secret US military documents detailed that the USA was
at war with UFOs in the South Atlantic.
See here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TVOnYxOaug

I waited for more details to be dripped into the media over the next
days, weeks and months... but there was nothing. Months later i went
on an internet quest looking for references to this story. But... Zilch.
"How very odd..." I thought, "that this story, with it's enormous
implications, has no follow up in the media".

Assange was on record as having said that these military documents
actually existed. And...the US authorities were bending over backwards
trying to 'get' Assange ... presumably to shut him up ... which made
it seem that the UFO story was true.

Puzzled and uncomfortable, I then set about watching UFO documentaries
on youtube, to answer the question: What evidence is there for the existence of UFOs ?
I watched several, but after watching a documentary entitled "Out of the Blue"
.... i knew... that this stuff about UFOs and aliens was true.
Why ? Because there was clearly no way that such a large number
of obviously highly credible witnesses were lying.
See here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYPCKIL7oVw

That for me was a big paradigm changing moment.
There _are_ UFOs.
There _are_ aliens.
We are _not_ alone.

After that the damn broke:

9/11. The fluoride lies. Big Pharma poisoning
cancer patients with treatments that do not work and serve only
to enrich Big Pharma .... and inflict unnecessary pain, distress and death.
Big Pharma persecuting the promulgators of _effective_ cures:
Hoxsey's Remedy, Rene Caisse, Max Gerson, vitamin B17, Stanislaw Burzynski etc.

I think that figures like Snowden and Assange _are_ heroes, not just because they've
told the truth about what unrestrained authority is capable of doing, but also because
a side effect of their revelations have been paradigm changing understandings of
the universe around us.

But i'm still left wondering: What is a human being ? What is consciousness ?

be happy :-)

lucidity

[Gaia]

The interview with Bob dean ...

Good choice :)

[lucidity]

The interview with Bob dean ...

Good choice :)

Is there a link for that ? :-)

[Philaletheian]

When i was about 11 years old, one day in church on Good Friday, looking up at the highly geometric colorful window that depicted Jesus, paying no attention to the sermon or people (as usual) wandering about in my thoughts, the sun rays fell through that particular glass and for a while, everything just stopped. There was no noise at all, i felt absolutely aware, at peace and an immense sense of calmness, observing without judging even the tiny specks of dust in the different colors of that window.

From then on i always had one prominent question, "What's it all about?". Then 9 years later during my 2nd year in college, i picked up hypnosis and NLP, i just couldn't believe the power of the brain, and had also been done with the book Atom smashing power of the brain by Charles Filmore. I knew the whole thing was in my head, and i was stuck in it, trying to release my sub-conscious programming and heal my childhood traumas.
Then one day while i was traveling a young man sat beside me and struck up a conversation, he told he was a Tantra practitioner and i scoffed at him at his childish fantasies and told how understanding everything can be done only through hypnosis, without taking any offense he spoke to me about for about an hour of how the yogis deciphered it all centuries ago and how i could do it myself, through a few simple steps. I still havent been able to make sense of few of what he said, but most of it went right through my bones and it to my heart. In a way that was my initiation.

I am still a humble initiate whose mind is as open as the galaxy itself, and i now practice essentially what happened at church that day. Just pure BEING.

Great idea for a thread btw, Cheers Matt. Looking forward to more stories.

[Gaia]

The interview with Bob dean ...

Good choice :)

Is there a link for that ? :-)

VI9fS8Y-fww

A great guy and teacher! Peace

[Kano]

The Star Wars movies woke me up as a mere child. I had such a strong connection with them sitting in my basement watching them over and over and over until I memorized every word to them. Many of us had a strong connection with them. It just took me 20 more years to understand what that connection was. My awakening was like a flower - slow and steady. BTW, I certainly believe George Lucas is a deep insider.

[WhiteLove]

My awakening steps include dimensional shift, experiencing my future before it has happened, major UFO sighting and more.

[lake]

I dont think that I was ever "asleep".

When I was 6 I knew the difference between a self imposed moral code and a society based concept of "right and wrong"!
Over the years I have tried to 'fit' in but this never works, it never stops the advance of my "hidden" want. Family and friends call it self destructive but I can only feel it as my nature.
Not that I am self destructive, I just cannot give that which I am for 3 score years and 10.
30 ish years ago I asked friends why they did what they do, giving their time here for a nothing? A limited circle.... always the same answer which boiled down to being 'safe'!
Its a strange world, most of which I do not like....... but who am I to judge?

[Deega]

Yes!, I guess!, back in the latter part of the '80, my wife went to a weekend Seminar on Sophrology.

The week after, I was asking all kind of questions, most of time arguing, at one point, she says, ''you should go to the next Seminar'', and you will have all the opportunities to questioned, to argued and what not. So I went, and I discovered that I had, like anybody else, some talent in different things Spiritual.

That how I slowly woke up. Ever since that time, I went to different type of Seminars to keep me on Spiritual Path, an ever exciting path!

Blessing to everyone.

[Lost N Found]

Most of my childhood through high school were spent with two loving parents, two brothers and one sister. I spent this time in my life just living and enjoying what ever happened. In 1969 I joined the NAVY and shipped out, I opened my eyes in boot camp and kept them open while I went to the Mediterranean and then back to the US and to Long Beach and then to Vietnam, Also went to Japan, China, Philippines, Now this all opened my eyes to the world at large and the government bulls#it that was in control. I came home and kept eyes open until got married when I was 28, Had to close eyes and go back to sleep to raise family, Can't say I completely closed eyes but kept a low profile in life for sake of family.

After working my arse off for all those years, I was kicked in the butt by another gov'ment agency and that is when My eyes became wide open. Been open totally every since and never go back to sleep. Take a bullit for those around me to protect, will do what is needed to bring about a paradigm change. Thank you very much for this thread.

Love and Light
Lost N Found

[ghostrider]

The interview with Bob dean ...

Good choice :)

Is there a link for that ? :-)

The one where he was speaking in Barcelona and they brought up Henry deacon at the end...

[genevieve]

I was a devout Catholic until my 7th grade teacher (a nun) told my class that anyone not baptized in the Church would go to hell.

My wonderful, adored mother was not a Catholic and therefore not baptized.

I KNEW the nun was WRONG WRONG WRONG, and immediately I was no longer devout and only seemed so because I attended Catholic schools until I graduated from high school. What a lucky break!


My next BIG wake-up wasn't until 2010 when I came across Mary-Elizabeth Croft's book (How I Clobbered Every Cash Confiscatory..., hmm, can't remember, sorry) and went into shock. David Icke came next, then zoooooooom.


Peace Love Joy & Harmony,
genevieve

[OBwan]

When I was young, my religion teachers could not answer questions that I asked. I then discovered that spirituality was different than religion. My study of spirituality answered many of the questions that I had as a child.

When I choose to have a spiritual path rather than religions path, I had less fear in my life. With less fear I could explore finding truth. That is when I learned that the truth will set you free but will piss you off first.

For me when I choose to live the rest of my life in as many moments in non-judgment and love is what started the awakening.

[samildamach]

For me it was at eight years old I was asking my father why we were not given a house when we grow up.who are these people who think they can own all the land and how very wrong they are do do so.that feeling of wrongness that the paradigm is corrupt has always been there.and there is more.at the weekend my father came around for a visit and as this topic was on my mind I asked him what memories he had of me if any on the subject.we ended up having a long and for me enlighting talk were I've found my father has been asking the same questions all his life and we both finished very happy and very close.
So thank you so very much for asking your simple question as its brought some extra happiness and support into my life

[Ioneo]

Jiddu Krishnamurti really started my spiritual awakening and Sons of Liberty Academy (Youtube) my worldly awakening.

[Baby Steps]

Some of this....

[STAR87]

I was going to church, more for the girls but also for faith ;) A youth pastor told me I was going to hell if I had not had a savior Jesus, showed me a recording of some dude who supposedly went to hell and to give my hard earned money, like 10% or something to the church. After a couple of years I stopped and hit the e=net hard. Church made no sense to me anymore at all. Looking into all different religions. for about 3 years straight, mon thrue sunday, 10 hours a day, I studied anything and everything I could find on the e-net. I was obsessed and through this process I became a drug/alcaholic. I couldnt figure out why or what my existance was about. I was dumbfounded by all the conspiracy theories that made sense. for a good year I screamed and yelled at god, every name in the book. I was so very depressed at the end that I was going to rob a bank and go to mexico and I was dead serious. I was also suicidal at that point. I didnt know how to define source than but I still had some faith. I screamed and said either you fix my jaw today, jaw constantly clicked from being in fights, or I am robbing a bank and going on the run. I was hammered drunk and the next day that was Dday, my jaw was fixed. No more clicks. I was amazed, completely and utterly. This is the short version of my awakening process. 8 years l8ter, here I am. Still trying to figure out the big pic, but, I dont think anyone knows exactly, maybe some think they do, but they dont. Shout out to Jordan Maxwell and Bob dean as well

[Jake]

I definately came into this world running! Have you ever been running so fast that you lose your footing and flail about a bit before you fall to the ground hurting yourself? That was me!! I remember being in kindergarten, and wondering when we would start the lessons on the energy body stuff, and the vibrations,, the 'shinies', the ' shadies' etc... I remember asking my teacher, "where is Teacher?" Not yet understanding the nature of dream state lessons. I started out very young, kniwing things that others didn't. I remember being at church wondering if the folks waving their arms and singing hymns, were practicing energy body techniques, or something! Lol...

I was dragged into this world kicking and screaming. Its like understanding calculus, in a world that teaches arithmetic. I thought everyone was having OBEs... I thought everyone felt the energy! I became very angry, and withdrew.. I went deep inside and began angrily turning off the switches and little 'lights'.. Where did everyone GO?? Why am I abandon?

It was not the OBE that woke up little Jake. It was the experience of embracing my experiences, and demanding my sovereignty. I decided to face down some ugly demons, and walk into the unknown all by myself,, no matter what happened!! There was a purging.. burning... But I got my soul back!

It is why I don't accept the savior mentality.. A caterpillar will become a butterfly.. But it gets its strength to fly from the struggle of escaping its cocoon!!

Merrily merrily
Jake

[Camilo]

Among other things, a brush with the ilusion of dead at a very early age (5 to 7 yrs. old)

[WildOrchid]

A Catholic priest, in school, when I was 6 years old. He was teaching us youngsters how to pray "correctly". He pointed upwards, and was very insistive that "all prayers must go up". I held up my hand and asked: "But if the universe is infinite, and god is all and everywhere, why cant prayers go upwards, downwards, or sideways etc..?" :eyebrows: He looked at me with big eyes and could, or would not answer my question. There I knew, I was on my own, and that was the starting (continuation) point of my quest for truth. And life has been fun ever since....:sun:

[Rex]

Being brought up strictly Lutheran, going to church every Sunday, I hadn't ever considered there wasn't "God". Around the time that I started working full time, I had also started following Herbert W. Armstrong and the Worldwide Church Of God. Probably because of the more fantastic biblical prophecies he talked about. In hindsight it's obvious I was looking for answers. In my mind, I started having trouble reconciling religion and life, and one day after leaving the office and walking to the train, I had a thought - "what if there's NO God? <gasp>" It was like all the frustration of thinking about all this stuff finally forced me (led me?) to ask that one specific question. This will sound silly, but man, it literally took the wind out of me. I remember kind of cringing and ducking a little, and almost fell down. Instantly I became very self aware and very self-conscious as if someone had heard my thoughts. Though I'm fairly convinced now that someone/something was there observing me; it was like "jeez it took you long enough, finally!" But at the same time, I immediately thought if I'm wrong and there is a God I've totally sinned and I'm getting struck by lightning or killed in a split second so goodbye world.

Well I didn't die (LOL!), so I slowly started walking again. With each step I gained some confidence and control of myself. When the fear had finally passed, I felt entirely foolish for 1) believing I would be struck down for that sacrilegious thought, and 2) believing in God all these years and not ever questioning it! But I also felt amazingly free, like a huge weight had been lifted off my back! It was a rush.

I became an atheist for awhile and over time changed to have a spiritual understanding of things. And started questioning more than just religion.

[Earthlink]

That's interesting deadfoot, do you think it's possible that there is such a thing as what Rupert Sheldrake calls Morphic Resonance, and the energy stream and various fields that are everywhere, and if so, is it possible that this, what I would rather call the Universal Consciousness, decided to notice you right at the point you noticed it? And that it was there all along, it just knew you wouldn't pay any attention to it while visions of "God", created externally to yourself by others, danced around in front of your egoic mind?

And yeah, some time during my primary catholic school years, as many others, the institutional, non-present owners and I parted ways. I think there's a lot of really good information coming to light these days about exactly this, the hitherto unforeseen energy world, and all that it remembers and contains. As demonstrated by mice, learning something becomes forever easier for all others afterwards, and there is proof of built in memory gain right across the spectrum of life.

The two movies "Zeitgeist: Addendum" and "Inside Job" were also two recent insights into the corporate wurld, and it's massive inherent blind destructive force.

[Ron Mauer Sr]

Waking up spiritually was triggered by a 1975 divorce, trying to understand what life was about, followed by my pilgrimage to Virginia Beach, many psychic and past life readings and many hours at A.R.E., the Seth material, etc. Still on the path, taking many branches. It is a never ending journey. My personal favorite now is Abraham-Hicks (http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php).

Waking up to conspiracies, control freaks and parasitic energy suckers began with William Cooper in the late 1990's. My favorite for current information is the Project Avalon Forum.

[gripreaper]

My next BIG wake-up wasn't until 2010 when I came across Mary-Elizabeth Croft's book (How I Clobbered Every Cash Confiscatory..., hmm, can't remember, sorry) and went into shock.

http://thecrowhouse.com/Documents/mary-book.pdf

[Rex]

That's interesting deadfoot, do you think it's possible that there is such a thing as what Rupert Sheldrake calls Morphic Resonance, and the energy stream and various fields that are everywhere, and if so, is it possible that this, what I would rather call the Universal Consciousness, decided to notice you right at the point you noticed it? And that it was there all along, it just knew you wouldn't pay any attention to it while visions of "God", created externally to yourself by others, danced around in front of your egoic mind?

Regrettably I don't know much about Sheldrake's work; I know the name but not much more. It sounds very relevant so apparently I've got some homework to do now LOL.

I like your theory, it totally fits and makes sense.

Thank you Earthlink.

[Earthlink]

Well, I find his term, Morphic Resonance (MR) to be ... not as good, as calling it the Universal Consciousness, (UC) which I think is better because at least UC describes it and gives at least a clue as to what it is about. And you don't have to go looking, here's the vid where he describes the tests and thought patterns that led him to these conclusions:

MtgLklXZo3U

And like he said, these experiments are easy to do, and easily repeatable. The fact is that if mice can figure out a maze, or a test, to get food, it only stumps them at the beginning, until one of them gets it, and even if the experiment is conducted in different continents, once something is known it seems to be universal.

[Jake]

Cool vid, thx for the link... same concept as the 100 Monkey effect.. Once one group of monkeys started washing off the sweet potatoes to eat them, so did the others on other islands! Same with crossword puzzles in newspapers,,, the evening puzzle is thesame as the morning puzzle, but it is easier because someone already did the work... lol...




Well, I find his term, Morphic Resonance (MR) to be ... not as good, as calling it the Universal Consciousness, (UC) which I think is better because at least UC describes it and gives at least a clue as to what it is about. And you don't have to go looking, here's the vid where he describes the tests and thought patterns that led him to these conclusions:

MtgLklXZo3U

And like he said, these experiments are easy to do, and easily repeatable. The fact is that if mice can figure out a maze, or a test, to get food, it only stumps them at the beginning, until one of them gets it, and even if the experiment is conducted in different continents, once something is known it seems to be universal.

[Earthlink]

Nice Jake, i didn't know about those monkeys, but yeah. I suppose if we were able to shut down the idiot box (TV) for just one week, the world would fix itself huh? And yeah, I have been relying on the UC for many years now. It's not capable of lying, and one of the first times I actually used it successfully at work was in a mechanical room, I was 19 or so, and the original installers had long since departed, and I needed to figure out what they had done, the start up and shut down sequence, and what one device in the room I could not identify was. I just thought about it for a while, in that room where it was all planned out and built, and it came to me. I've been using it reliably ever since.

While there are many thoughts floating around all the time, and the idiot box consistently plants false and erroneous ideas into the stream, it really can help.

Where it won't help is if you can't get past your own self doubt about it. That's personal to you, I can just tell you what Rupert observed above here and my own experience with it.

Today I trust it unquestioningly, and so, it works fine, but that's a hard step to take. Maybe, maybe not, it's up to the individual, but to give you an idea of where it helps me the most at work, it is in places that look very much like this, but without the colour coding and markings. I wish every mechanical room had paid this much attention to the details, but they didn't and many of them are old these days, as old as the building itself, and is the reason many mechanical contractors will just remove and replace everything when a major malfunction occurs, because no one told them that everything about that room remains in that room.

I'm happy to finally have this conversation too. Long overdue.

oops OK, there it is: where I spend my working life.

[Earthlink]

Perhaps one of these days people will believe me when I tell them that they can not lie to me. Even if they actually believe what they are saying, or have been told, I see right through it, all the way back to where the first lie was told that supports their idea. This has nothing to do with me, it is just the way things are. And if you've watched the vid above and read this exchange, welcome to your new reality. What took you so long to get here?!?!?

:sun::heart::clapping:

And here's a gift for you too, to help you improve. If you live somewhere where there are two or more people, place a deck of cards out on any table. Each time you walk by the deck of cards, and there is another person near by, randomly cut the deck, look at the card, and then look at the other person and say the name of the card you just cut to yourself several times. Explain the rules to the others you live with, so that each time someone does this, the other person just guesses which card it is.

You'll be amazed, unless of course everything above here makes perfect sense to you, in which case you'll understand. Once you're able to get the names of the cards pretty regularly, start saying different names to yourself, and see if they can catch on to your bluff, or, if they are able to see the actual card you drew.

[quiltinggrandma]

iwas talking on the phone to my little neice,wishing for a speedy recoverey,because an ice cream truck had hit her.And i was in front of the window that evening sitting in my chair by the phone.There was a chilling breeze that hit me and my niece said,"aunt sandi why are you crossing your arms"?It just evolved from there.

[Lost N Found]

I definately came into this world running! Have you ever been running so fast that you lose your footing and flail about a bit before you fall to the ground hurting yourself? That was me!! I remember being in kindergarten, and wondering when we would start the lessons on the energy body stuff, and the vibrations,, the 'shinies', the ' shadies' etc... I remember asking my teacher, "where is Teacher?" Not yet understanding the nature of dream state lessons. I started out very young, kniwing things that others didn't. I remember being at church wondering if the folks waving their arms and singing hymns, were practicing energy body techniques, or something! Lol...

I was dragged into this world kicking and screaming. Its like understanding calculus, in a world that teaches arithmetic. I thought everyone was having OBEs... I thought everyone felt the energy! I became very angry, and withdrew.. I went deep inside and began angrily turning off the switches and little 'lights'.. Where did everyone GO?? Why am I abandon?

It was not the OBE that woke up little Jake. It was the experience of embracing my experiences, and demanding my sovereignty. I decided to face down some ugly demons, and walk into the unknown all by myself,, no matter what happened!! There was a purging.. burning... But I got my soul back!

It is why I don't accept the savior mentality.. A caterpillar will become a butterfly.. But it gets its strength to fly from the struggle of escaping its cocoon!!

Merrily merrily
Jake

Jake, I see that you came here but as you say you were dragged here kicking and screaming. Now I look at this world in a way that WE had a choice, a choice to come here from our energy realm. If you get where I am coming from, We have or had or made the choice to come here and experience this realm of existence. We are given the chance to learn all about this place and find our way back to the complete energy. If you were kicking and screaming as you say, that implies that you did not make this choice and something threw you here against your will. Don't know if I am making any sense but I am sure glad you are here at this moment. I will say this and it may be for me only but how about stop fighting and flow with the river you never know where that will take you until you learn what you are suppose to and the water fall comes and WHAM you go back to the energy with a new found knowledge. Well have a wonderful time in the next choice and please do not let you being dragged and kicking into it.

Love and Light
Lost N Found

[Earthlink]

I too am glad for all the people here :sun:

And hey, I just re-read your entry QuiltingGrandma, did you mean that you were talking on the phone to your niece, and even though she couldn't see you, she asked you why you crossed your arms? That's not surprising at all, Children are our best, at all times (it's an evolutionary thing)

[WhiteFeather]

A very possible abduction/experience.

[Zontos]

I'll tell my story as I'm just now waking up as it were. I'm shrugging off the many layers of confusion that I've worn for so many, many years. I feel that I've been brainwashed and forced to believe a doctrine by my parents all my life and that if I did not that I would lose their respect, their support, their love, and ultimately them. I rebelled throughout my childhood, teenage years, dropped out of college, married young divorced, and remarried to a my soulmate that opened my eyes and my heart. However, that's not where I feel I completely woke up, just where I started.
I meet my good friend and he introduced me to many concepts I couldn't wrap my head around, I was still under the influence of my parents teachings, so I would listen but not hear what he was saying. One day sitting around a homemade chiminea made from bricks from an old wall, he started talking about Billy Meier and since I had been drinking quite a bit, I was in the mood to humor him. Well, this conversation lasted much longer than I had intended and I started to sober up and realized I was actually listing more intently than I had intended. Well, I took the information and researched it and found a pleathora of videos and interviews on this guy and I was hooked. I asked for more and he gave me a little more. Viktor Schauberger, Walter Russell, Edgar Cayce, Edward Leedskalnin, John Keely, etc... I mean there was so much that we've gone over the last few years that I've realized that I was completely under a spell, manipulated by ignorance and outdated concepts. It felt good to be free and liberated, knowing that there were so many illusions out there waiting for others to just poke holes in them.
Then I found this site and I observed it for a long time before I decided to join. I'm really glad I did as I'm finding more and more that this was a really good decision as it grants me an outlet for my thoughts and perspective with like minded people.

[thepainterdoug]

william coopers book behold a pale horse.

[Paradox22]

I believe that I have always been awake...in fact I believe that we are all born awake, it is just whether we consciously realise it or not...I believe we also go through periods of blindness and then all of a sudden the light shines back into our eyes again allowing us to see more clearly than before.

My first feeling of awakening was literally that...a feeling. I must have been about 4 years old. I used to get this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach; it was very unsettling. The only words I could use to describe it at that age was (and I said this to my dad, who must've thought I was mad!), "I just don't feel like I'm meant to be here."
Now, as I am older and have gained more awareness, I think the phrase should have been, "I just don't feel like I'm from here." Because even as a child I was very sensitive to energies. I could tell if someone was in a negative mood and wasn't expressing it out loud, music affected me; some songs would always make me cry, one song in particular would fill me with fear (the old 80s disco song Ring My Bell, anyone heard of it? Turns out it was used in the movie The Book of Eli when they visited a couple of old cannibals which was a bit of a creepy setting...must've felt something in those frequencies that equates to fear), I had extremely vivid dreams that I can recall even now (and still have every night), among many other experiences as a child. I had this deep knowing that this world is not quite right, and that I felt like I knew of a place that was filled with more love than this.

I fell asleep again for a while as a teen. I started to drink alcohol and smoke when I was about 12/13? I think the main reason for this (although it was subconsciously) was to try and block out all these energetic experiences as it didn't seem like anyone else experienced them. I spent about 4 years or so being a party girl. Then when I was 16, something shifted. I had also smoked weed for the first time...and to some extent I think it did expand my awareness.
I remember being at yet another party of a friends and realising that the alcohol was not having an effect on me anymore. I had been drinking my usual amount and yet felt nothing, not even tipsy. I sat there and looked around at the scene of the party with a fresh new set of eyes...apparently we're having fun...and yet, it really doesn't look like anyone is having that much fun. A few guys were fighting. A bunch of girls were crying. And the happy ones were laughing at things that wouldn't have been very funny if you were sober. I thought to myself, "Where are the intelligent conversations and the connections? Because they certainly aren't here!"
So I got up and rang my brother at 1am to come and pick me up so we could go for a smoke in the countryside. We would look up at the stars and talk about alien life, how vast space is and that us humans really don't know anything even though we think we do. After a while of talking I asked what the time was, when I looked at the clock it said, 2:22. I thought that was pretty cool but nothing more of it.
But this continued to happen every single night. We would be in his car and look at the time at precisely 22:22 or 2:22. After about a week of this happening I said, "This must be a sign from the universe! It makes sense for a message from above to come in numbers because numbers are the Universal Language!"
It then started to spread from the time..the first thing it spread onto was the length of our favourite song at that time, it was 2:22, not only that but the song itself was called Show Me A Sign. This phenomenon continued to spread, onto page numbers, game results, we noticed it in movies and TV shows, my boyfriend got given a hat by a friend with the number 22 on, another friend gave us a picture of Mecca and in the lower right hand corner was the number 42222 printed on it (technically 4 is 2 2's), on the xbox you could dress your avatar and the only t-shirt with a number on it was the number 22 (so naturally my avatar wore that), at the airport I was sat in row 23 so the number I could see directly in front of me was 22 (this was very welcomed as I was a little nervous due to not flying for a number of years, and when I saw it it put me at ease that I was exactly where I needed to be)...and this has continued up until this day. It has been almost 10 years since it started. I could give so many more examples but it would be ever such a long post!

The seeing of the recurring 2's was my catalyst for the expansion of my awareness and I started to ask more questions. This included my questioning those around me and their behaviour. All of a sudden I could see people for who they really were again, and all my energetic experiences started coming back. This actually led me into a depression for some years, but I learnt such a lot from those feelings.

Perhaps we should all write a book each of our Awakening? It seems like everyone could go on and on about their experiences as it is so hard to pick just One moment that changed everything. We tend to have many moments that expand us that little bit more...or a lot more in some cases...and it's so great to hear everyone's story :)

Love and light to all x

[Ernie Nemeth]

I have always been awake to the inequities of our society and the herd mentality of our culture. I was rendered harmless by the lies and half truths and the indoctrination of scarcity.

I came awake on my fortieth birthday. I was given the book seven spiritual laws of success by Deepak Chopra. It gave my mind a new avenue to explore. I soon read all of Deepak's books. I began working on manifesting abundance - just not understanding that was what I was doing. I began battling with my ingrained belief system. It was a battle that was to go on to this very day - seventeen years later.

I have given up the battle but still engage in the occasional skirmish to keep in shape. The harder I try the harder I resist the change, causing great amounts of stress and blowback. Yet with just the slightest turn of mind, with the least effort, it is possible to do an end-run around the whole thorny issue. It is possible to side step the thorny issue, release all the assumptions of childhood indoctrination, things that have been taken on faith and never tested by adulthood logic, and just simply make things happen because you want them that way.

The problem is that this is not a fundamental shift but a temporary position, still predicated upon by firmly entrenched false beliefs - so that recidivism is always just around the corner. It is better than blowback but it is not permanent and still comes with hardship and depression.

It is hard to be whole and independent in this world.

I cannot surrender. I am too stubborn to conform.

So I continue.

[Unicorn_Wrath]

I think that I had a different level of awareness growing up, later contributing to feelings of depression and apathy. However, the process truly began when my mother gifted me a copy of Jack Canfield's law of attraction workbook in 2007. This led to a temporary exploration of Abraham-Hicks, Seth, Ramtha, and other channeled entities. Last November, I discovered Kelli in the Raw's channel on YouTube, absent-mindedly clicked on her interview with Aussie ET contactee Peter Maxwell Slattery, and I was hooked. Been researching ever since.

[Cidersomerset]

Hi Matt I thought I'd answered this ? must of been another thread..LOL

Now you have got me thinking and I feel a collage coming on......

The more recent 'awakening ' would be around 2005/6 when my ex partner brought
an old computer back from where she worked and we got access to the web and
one of the first things I put in was UFO's and found project Camelot , and watched
Kerry interview Bill about MR.X and project Serpo .which I posted recently on the
Bob Lazaar thread...

Kerry interviewing Bill...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=js1QMYWg54s

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?84579-The-Bob-Lazar-case-has-turned-hot-again-Scientist-claims-he-worked-with-Bob-Lazar-at-Los-Alamos&p=989956&viewfull=1#post989956

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My earliest interest in space was the original Star Trek series aprox 1969 and being
called in from playing football in the back lane to watch the grainy TV pictures of
the moon landing on a friends TV on top of the local fish and chip shop. We were
told this was mans first step to the stars and coupled with the brand new Star
Trek " Boldly going where no one had been before ". I started to enjoy science
fiction , and supernatural stories. Though I never liked horror movies and
remember hiding behind the sofa when the Daleks or Cyber men were on the
original William Hartnall and Patrick Troughton Dr.Who . Also those 1950 B movies
about giant Ants , or Bees etc. Remember most families only had one TV back then
and most people watched the same programmes.

Star Trek Into Darkness: Original Series Trailer

Star Trek original tlr....
QWELq3wVWvs


Appollo 11 moon landings
HCt1BwWE2gA


I watched 2001 in the cinema , when I was about 10/11 years old and I did not
understand it and it seemed like it was going on forever...LOL

2001: A Space Odyssey Official Re-Release Trailer (2014) - Stanley Kubrick Movie HD
XHjIqQBsPjk

=================================================
=================================================

The 70's and 80's were similar to today in the UK we were in the cold war with
Russia and China , being part of NATO. The Falklands war , where Maggie became
known as the Iron Lady , and the moon landings finished , Sky Lab went up and
came down again. The Shuttle programme began with co operation with the Soviets
in Space.We also had our own mini 'War on Terror' in Northern Ireland from the
late 60's to late 90's . Which seem a pre-curser to what is happening from 9/11
onwards , which could all be part of the geo political plan/s going on today, as
history has a tendency to repeat itself.

On the sci -fy front there were more TV series and movies and 'Block Buster'
had taken over from the ' Epic ' in the cinema jounre. I also watched many
documentaries from shows like Horizon and was and still am interested in
History and geography. One of the eye opener shows from this period was
Arthur C Clarks mysterious world.

WDGe62dR1tE

Forestry worker Robert `Bob` Taylor was attacked by two metal spheres in
Livingston, Scotland 1979.From Arthur C. Clarke`s Mysterious World - Discovery Channel

==================================================

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) - Original Trailer

Fxp32VHaYdE

====================================================
====================================================
====================================================

The 90's was an optimistic decade in many ways , it started with the fall of the
Berlin wall and the end of the Soviet Union as it was, and hope for a peace
dividend was falsely optimistic in hind sight. As we now know the Neo-cons had a
plan for the 'New American Century and the introduction of a NWO , which led
them to attack America on 9/11 and start the 'War on Terror 'meme. Which had
been simmering in various places around the world, but now is a major money
spender and earner for various mil ind complex's and 'Bankster' around the world.

On the Scy-fy front there was many movies and TV series and more documentaries
about UFO's . The X files became a phenomenon , and it felt like disclosure was on
the card even back then.....

the x-files season 1 trailer
mlZIVpVNgpI

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BELGIUM UFO WAVE EN 1990
MBcplcCQxOc

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Strange But True - Rendlesham Forest UFO Incident - 1 of 3

EI9ATxRjiMk

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13/3/1997 - The Phoenix Lights

TWHZ-RN2MFk

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This documentary really woke me up and I was pretty sure ET existed before I
got on line around 2005.....

0WugJoLib5k


====================================================

Then the millennium came and there was still no official disclosure and the US
was taken over by the corporations which led to 9/11 , the invasions of Afghanistan
and Iraq leading up to where we are now. This is just a precis of events and much
more happened , but it tells me I have been waking up for decades and I'm
even getting into the spiritual and esoteric parts of the field listening to Ion and
Bob and the likes....LOL and this brings me back to the beginning of the post
and connecting to the web and the rest is history as they say.

[amor]

Since I have lived in several cultural or lack of culture settings in varying levels of economic advantage and discomfort of poverty in the early part of my life, I have never felt at home anywhere and constantly lived with the fear of "Oh God, what next?" I am 76 and the damn thing is still going on. To say that I know I do not belong here is an understatement. What the big hurrah is about Alien Disclosure I have never been able to understand. We are either in a Universe filled to overflowing with life or someone has stuck our heads in a hole and pumped us with a fairy tale about our current lives for their own amusement or generation of food and energy. In the latter case, if there is anything after this fraud ends, I am going to call out the SOB who wants to push me into another hole for more of the same. I am not going to cooperate.

[Ron Mauer Sr]

Since I have lived in several cultural or lack of culture settings in varying levels of economic advantage and discomfort of poverty in the early part of my life, I have never felt at home anywhere and constantly lived with the fear of "Oh God, what next?" I am 76 and the damn thing is still going on. To say that I know I do not belong here is an understatement. What the big hurrah is about Alien Disclosure I have never been able to understand. We are either in a Universe filled to overflowing with life or someone has stuck our heads in a hole and pumped us with a fairy tale about our current lives for their own amusement or generation of food and energy. In the latter case, if there is anything after this fraud ends, I am going to call out the SOB who wants to push me into another hole for more of the same. I am not going to cooperate.

That SOB maybe someone very close to you.

I shake my finger at the person I see in the mirror and say: "Remember this! Don't you ever leave home again without clear, full time, two way communication with Higher Self."

[seah]

I was born into a Catholic family, not overly religious but we sometimes went to church. During the sermon and the usual mass rituals it always felt like I was being lied to. I remember looking around at others' faces to see if anyone was feeling what I did, but everyone seemed so engrossed in the goings on. In retrospect, I see that I was more awake at six years old than twenty years later. I used to imagine how surely the child that belongs to this family (mine) must be living with my real parents on another planet because I couldn't possibly be theirs. I would long for home, where ever that was. It was too big a challenge being so different from everyone else so I learned to become what I thought was expected of me. What followed was my slumber years.

About fifteen years ago I went looking for an explanation to something that happened to me in childhood. My research led me to Bill Cooper, Phil Schneider, Cathy O'Brien, Karla Turner, Aaron Russo, John Todd, etc. At some point I found youtube and Camelot. I came to realize there are indeed many like me right here on our beautiful earth.

[romanticwildfire]

Selkie,

Your story broke my heart too! Studying as a parent is not an easy thing. Then, to add insult to injury, your mother, in my estimation, did not know how to handle it. If she disagreed, she should have done some soul searching first to find a reason and then a better way to tell you she disagreed.

It is not a good thing to try to control people. We should tell them why we disagree warn them about pitfalls and then agree that they have to do what they feel is right for them. Then, give them the support they need as a mother, or friend. I am saddened that you allowed her to cross over into your mind. I am kinda like you. All my life, I tried to go to college. I am now 64 and took an early retirement so that I could get my degree to teach ESL. I get flack from my kids about how I am just about worthless (after putting them trough private schools with my ex), how I could lose my property which was a strategic decision (mortgage 3K vs lowered property value to $27,500) which lost me nothing and the fact that I have been going from my sister's house to their homes for the past 5 yrs to be able to get those A's for grades in class.

I learned, upon reflecting on my life, that I have never taken the "adult" role (transactional analysis) and allowed people like you mom, who meant well, push me around all my life. This attitude came from having a militaristic father who ran both my mother and me until I stood up to him in my 20s and moved out. But, this time, I stood up to my opposition (my kids) and told "them" off. I told them, if I had to live out of my car, I would and that made me a better person than they are. I have a goal and will not allow anyone or anything get in the way of my success. I am in the practicum stage of my education and I will graduate in just over a year. Wooo hooo!

Anyway, I guess it is difficult for my children to see their mother who has been a professional all her life, make some tough decisions to attain my goal. They both make six figure salaries. Not sure what business it is of theirs to comment on my decisions, especially when it comes to education. They have since gotten better but it was tough. I love Ayn Rand too. I had the whole set of her books in my library before I simplified my life to be a student on the move.

Best wishes to you!

[romanticwildfire]

Seah,

You got that right. I too was raised in a loosely Catholic family. Once in a blue moon we went to church. I too wondered how anyone could believe what the priest was saying. I could make sense out of examples of real life issues but give me a break on the rest.....

As a child, I used to always look up to the sky; day or night. I always felt like I belonged out there. Home was not on Earth. My parents were very independent in a sense. They were not gullible and so, I learned a lot from them.

I too discovered the list of "teachers, experiencers, heroes" you mention above. I do not get tired of watching and listening to their messages.

[romanticwildfire]

I would have to say that because there were so many people from all over the world and different walks of life visiting my parents' home, I would listen to their conversations and keep that information in my mental file cabinet. Anything from a criticism of our supposed "election system" to the Cuban revolution and eye witness accounts of seeing the CIA there and so on. I was only about 10 years old but recall the event like I had been there.

Upon growing up, I realized that people overseas knew more about my government than most Americans did. Luckily, I knew who I could discuss this with and not make enemies all my life with my fellow Americans. I am happy to see my people waking up to our reality both on and off planet.

It was very enlightening to discuss political issues with military officers. At first, I thought I had slipped into an alternative reality when I heard what they had to say about my take on American politics and laws. I soon, felt comfortable to know that many of our officers are not fools and are quite aware of much of what goes on.

So, I would say the combination of my parents' awareness and the quality of friends coming over from other parts of the world were the ones who built my awareness of the world we live in.

[apokalypse]

Seah,

You got that right. I too was raised in a loosely Catholic family. Once in a blue moon we went to church. I too wondered how anyone could believe what the priest was saying. I could make sense out of examples of real life issues but give me a break on the rest.....


same here..my family and surrounding very religious and look around there's only 3 people that truly follow Jesus Teaching, like many of you know being in religious family pushed me to marry or to go for Christian girl but now after my parent seeing the light they stop.

I said many times isn't religion it's the people...i said for years to careful of certain people when ****s happen and begins to realize it. i have strong sense(i think believe people called empath) of emotions and what they thinking...looking back they all came true once their personality came out showing to people but to me i have sense(empath) it so it doesn't suprise me all.

Awakening is bloody amazing experience...you see with ur feeling and thought not just see and hear. only people in same group understand know how each other feel otherwise they never. i have talked to people against-goverment and throw this stuff in but they don't understand it...they only into or focus on the subject at hand like government-spirituality-condition of people...they understand those thing but without the feeling.

[Mark (Star Mariner)]

We have many awakenings. My first was when I was about 8 years old.

I had a fight with my sister. I was older and stronger than her. I hit her, and she started to cry. That made me stop, that and something else...a profound sense of shame...and something else again - a sudden flash, a thought. It arrived in my young mind and exploded in a split-second flood, an inundation, of simple knowingness. It has stayed with me ever since.

I had remembered something, something incredible that no child could ever just make up. It came from somewhere else, either from deep down, or high above. I remembered that my sister was the same as me, somehow; that in another life I was her, or in a future life I might even be her. I would live her experience. So any harm I caused to her now, I was just causing to myself.

I had not heard about this idea from anywhere, nor had I dreamt it up as a strange whim. I knew nothing of reincarnation, or the soul. I was just 8. But this notion I did not just believe. I knew it.

Now, today, I don't believe quite what I believed then, that we incarnate as 'each other'. That would indicate there is only one soul, incarnating billions of times over living each life individuality, and concurrently. That was a really mind-blowing idea at that age. I eventually reached the conclusion that we are all the same, and all share the same essence. And that essence is immortal spirit. So, what you do unto others you do unto yourself.

[hardrock]

I still don't feel "awake" per se. I do feel like an aberration of common sense in my daily interactions. I feel more alert and distrustful of a lot of things. I relate to a natural balance and don't feel the society I live in is anything but. I also can't remember any one thing that woke me up. I remember as a child of at least 12 or so having a different mindset than my peers. I might contribute more if I have time.

[Lost N Found]

Okay, already spoke on this but here is the honest to God truth for today.

My soul mate touched me on the arm with her loving light touch this morning around 7am and asked if I wanted to get awake, Said the coffee was brewing. My heart swells every morning when she does this. So that is how I woke up today.

[Alpha141]

Thanks for sharing all. The variance and infinite possibilities per individual are very refreshing.

I am quite blessed via the journey i have been but like many of you it has not been easy at all. Mine came out of love. I was deeply in love. I decided to give up a very secure solid IT career in my city of Adelaide Aus to follow the girl i loved to Sydney. It was the second biggest choice point in my life. As, choosing comfort vs losing love was the trigger for me to go into the unknown. 6 months after getting there and getting setup she had a very bad fall in 2008 and smashed her left knee cap into 12 pieces. Long story short, emergency surgery that night. Unable to move with out pain over many weeks and months she became suicidal. I was a senior systems IT engineer in that fast paced city and was working 80-100hrs a week at a very demanding level. We were alone and isolated with little support and i didn't know going to work if she would be alive when i came home. So i quit my good job to aid her for a couple of months. The trigger for me was not knowing what would happen to her if she died on my watch. This was my second major rite of passage based on love. Doing the right thing in a situation, not just the right thing for myself materialistically. Was very important along my journey. It would set me up though for many many very hard years. Being destroyed by all those who should be allies and support. It would shatter who i was. But, after a couple of years this shattering would soften me up ready to be put back together right via a shaman healing path. As, much of what i offer and those i operate with all this was a crucial reality undercover part and soul contracted players to afford my via my free will choices to get to this point. Find my allies to do remote stuff. Get up to speed asap via what can be described as very hard thorough uncomfortable lessons. But leave me very strong to be involved in what i am now ready for.

In that question of death. The girl i had given everything up for 2 times now in a very short period. Leaving my life in chaos and potential financial ruin being in debt during the financial crisis for this girl who was vulnerable who worked in the Banking industry ironically. It was a shedding of my via a hard lesson the material aspects skin we are born into. It triggered me to explore the possibility of what lay beyond death itself. I came across many teachers on the subject. Raymond Moody, Brian Weiss, Delores Cannon, Michael Newton etc....But especially Dannion Brinkley. I devoured the topic. The location i was living in at Sydney had 4 massive Borders Book stores that are a loss to humanity being no more. I could just go to a section and grab a pile of books on any topic and devour with a good coffee while this girl i was caring for was at work.

Dannion's book 'Saved By the Light' has a very detailed life review phase after death. When in that review you experience in no time every event you have participated in. From all perspectives. Including those you benefit but especially those you cause suffering for. Good and especially bad. He talks about when he was a sniper in the Vietnam War. And he killed a General via his mission. In that moment in his review. He experiences not only the bullet he shot killing the general. But the consequence upon the family who lost their husband and father and all the years of suffering rolled up in an instant in no time. It had a massive impact on him. Dannion has what he offers has invested alot of his time to be there at the crossing over for many veterans in hospital and many other things. I don't know if all he offers is true or not. But his change in life has been very significant. Actions are more proof than words in my experience. And, i never ask anyone to be perfect when i haven't attained it in myself etc. But, that sharing he offers really gave me something to explore within me i had missed. Emphatically really integrate within me the outcome of my actions on others. I forgave myself up until that point. But really ingrain it within me. It had a massive energetic shift in who i was....Adding that part into who i was and in every act or interaction. The concern for others and the outcome of my contribution is something i have as an aspect of who i am.

This realisation of what i was not aware of. Triggered me from an informational aspect. What else is it i do not know? I was hungry to discover more. With my IT skills and the book stores close i was on a mission.

While this an many things were occurring in me. That girl you would thing having the guy she was with do such things based on love would be grateful. She actually totally turned on me. Used me. Destroyed me on every level. Sabotaged my live. Was mentally, emotionally and physically violent and would use suicide threats as a means of manipulation. Like i mention. A shattering of me. Of who i was that would set me up for the shaman down the track. Who, because of the thoroughness of my metaphoric destruction made choosing healing to be totally thorough and surrender to the vulnerably it can be in seeking a powerful healer. Who you and your unresolved issues are totally transparent to can be daunting. It was by this shattering easier for me. As i really had no where else to go. As this situation with this girl was only a part of me. I was already drawing many to me via the activation i had and was playing constant catchup already.

I never played her game (the ex) or compromised my self. My frequency had had a massive shift and i was drawing by that very aspect the negative out of her. Those not familiar being around healers etc aren't aware that being in their presence the trauma and unresolved can be mirrored. Many don't like seeing their truth reflected via others so go on the attack in their defense. Though my life was totally messed up this is why the Akashic level individuals allow me into their world now. As they perceive and tap into what i did when the chips were down. I have proven myself when it has been all on the line. I offer this as potentially many who read this might also have some rite of passage which seems in that time to have no societal benefit for. It may be a test for some future truth point where some unperceived path is yet to be afforded by your intent and actions.

After getting into the death subject. Exploring all those amazing teachers offering their perspectives etc. The sheer numbers who have had an 'experience' in the US is like 8 million people. Those statistics for me are incredible. I sought to have my own hypnotic past life regression. I tuned into something though this was years before my healing started in 2009. I experienced my death in that past life to. I remember feeling my body's pain. As i am so sensitive intuitively many issues bleed through. I had a leg issue that after this 'death' experience would be resolved as it was a past life trauma coming through. I also was admitted for emergency surgery in for a hospital operation in late 2010 where another past life trauma bled through. I would need nurses visiting my home re-gausing a big hole cut out of my leg for 3 months of a manifested trauma for no reason at all. Nickie Thetsy in one of her very powerful activations who is a friend tuning into me just to keep her grounded when out of body stuff is a constant. Last year and in her body (able to tune into beyond Earth lives, the 3 Lemurian and Atlantian much like Andrew Bartzis another ally and Akashic Spiritual brother) also let me this death from the 1200's i had regression to tune in had an effect on my professional football career in the US in my last life too. Fascinating hey.

So, while this story might seem harsh etc. It is. And, has been very traumatic. Very challenging. This is only a fraction of it too also. By having the one i have allowed deepest into my heart. Cause me the most pain in this life. It has also been a very powerful ally. For I chose it. Andrew has told me also she had a soul contract to do so also...as Earth wanted me in Adelaide to hold space and operate for a while also. But, by this scenario being so thorough. I on a psychic level really cannot be hurt or interfered with. Unless i allow it which is a very co-creative aspect of my reality. It is this situation that means no one can hurt me anywhere near that level. It allow me to operate with some i have eluded to on a very tough level. Unless i allow hard lessons, my emotional state I have allowed to be undermined by my reality perception. I am pretty much bullet proof. And very strong. The conscious choice to seek and be very proactive on the healing, nutritional front is a powerful tool in my tool kit. I seek constant maintenance and confirmations via help as seeking assistance is a very courageous act. I like testing myself on that level but it is important not to become reliant on externals too. So a bit of a balance. Affirmations, Andrew's Soul Contract Revocations to make sure i have Energetic Sovereignty from anything this reality throws at us. Excluding my co-creative aspect from this reality but more of a witnesser and watcher. Finding amazing people ready for some development etc. I can say for certain there are many here. Which is very refreshing with the fear triggering aspects of those who have lost control in efforts to maintain it are shaking out.

So, keep up the good work all. Thanks for sharing your journey. It just is a constant reminder of the enormous potential we all have at hand.

Cheers