Cure For Hypersexuality...?

[apokalypse]

this might also a rant and asking for help....

currently i have face this issue of hypersexuality increase of sexual urges or activities, what a freaking strange weekend full on urges...it became like addiction from the urges. i spent hundreds on local massage who provide extras but still.

my mind cannot forget it or get rid of sex stuff... but after went to local massage it was gone only through feeling by hands and i feel disgusting afterwards when i walked out.

after went throught this i have a deep thought about it, i'm kind ofseeing thing more clearer...easy to say but it's tough to go throught especially understand. i came to conclusion for now that is the mind, everything is in the mind. back in early 90's my home countries considered sex scenes/sex appeal in media is bad or unnatural but as time goes on with western influence i became natural/acceptable. influence from media?

i talked to one of the girl and get even more depress or frustration, she told me that she came to down under from china just 2 month no families and stuff. what ever it is but i have heard so many stories about international students into work of adult services especially wifey gave other man a sexual service(really suprise me)...this make me feel sad about society and feel sorry for those people.

[betoobig]

hi Apokalypse, you are feelling bad about it becouse there is no love involved. You are right when you say it is all in the mind. i guess they want you busy in that issue so you dont focus in what you really should. maybe you are about to find your soulmate, that'l be great, and more is your new partern is in hypersexuality too... serious here. Take your decicions based on Love, all. thanks for sharing
much love

[Carmody]

Age 35, you are sneaking up on your Pluto square. It sounds a bit early for it (even for the shortest time periods), but it varies in the time that it happens, depending on when one was born.


The “Pluto Square” as we call it occurs when Pluto in the sky aligns in a 90 degree aspect to Pluto in our birthchart. It occurs anywhere from the late 30s to the early 40s, depending on when you were born, and when Pluto entered Capricorn in 2008 it began to square the natal Plutos of those born with Pluto in Libra between 1982 and 1983-4.

There may be other overarching factors, like a planetary pairing close to your natal Pluto which activates as a pair and has a wide influence.

It can and many times does engender a hypersexuality like an itch that never lets up and no amount of scratching will make it go away.

Here's the fun* part: when it happens, it can go on for as long as 18 months.

(*edit: Read that as dark humour/irony)

[lake]

Hi. Would just like to say that I am not judging you. What you do is your own life, it is not for me to consider as I have not lived it!

So with that said I would need to state the following regarding your current dilemma, which of course is also others .... now.

If you are not the body, then why do you feel an urgent need to satisfy the body?
Unless of course you consider the feelings you have as YOURS ....... in which case you can not justify them if you act upon them.
If you do use others for personal gain then where do morals enter the act?
If a physical form has needs and so uses all at its disposal to make a reality of those needs, how can you judge them if you also do the same?

A psychopath needs control and requires the power to enact said control, the supposed elite. We cannot blame them for anything if we accept that it is only a impulse of the body.
We must allow the harm they cause, as they know not what they do. (think I saw that in a book some where)

We all have wants and needs which are created by the form we currently focus through ....... is it correct to always act upon that reality's whims?

So I ask you, what are you

[Old Wolf]

Hi apokalypse,

I'm currently going through the same issue. I think it's courageous of you to share it here, thankyou for that.

I agree with betoobig, it's partly because there's no love involved. If you haven't experienced love making as opposed to purely physical satisfaction then you might not know what she means. Love making is a soulful experience rather than a physical experience and is deeply satisfying rather than being some sort of immediate gratification.

Ultimately though, we live in a society which is geared towards the physical. Objectification takes place all the time and it's all around us, we're stimulated by it, often without realising it. Just a few weeks ago I went shopping for a few simple things. Walking to the shop I passed a lingerie store with larger than life photos of beautiful young near naked women posted in the windows. It was arousing. I couldn't even buy milk without becoming aroused. Having said that, the fact that I realised that I was getting aroused was extremely constructive. Recognising the things that trigger the arousal is very important because then I can calm myself at the right time, when it starts. Often once it's underway, there's no stopping getting overly aroused. Society constantly tries to trigger people sexually and religious belief systems stop people from seeking that satisfaction. Constant temptation and little satisfaction, it's social programming at it's worst. Without the programming, the world wouldn't have the sexual hangups that cause both of us so much grief.

It's not just advertising or magazines. The vast majority of women objectify themselves to attract attention and boost their self esteem*. Once you start noticing women doing this, you'll be able to also start to deal with the reactions you have to these women trying to be attractive. Again I'm able to do this often now but it's been a struggle. In addition attractive, lovely and beautiful are very different things and it's valuable to learn to discern between them. Ultimately it takes being mindful of the triggers of your arousal and dealing with it in ways other than immediate satisfaction, it will definitely take time.

The most important thing is to not be ashamed. If you feel the need, get that happy massage. These ladies may be in different economic positions from the rest of us but I have great respect for the services they're providing and that's what's really important. This small group of women providing valuable clinical sexual services for many men each day are deserving of the highest respect not the abuse and derision generally directed at them.

Kindly.


* There's no blame intended here. Most men also lack the awareness that they encourage this behaviour in women. Addressing this issue is a two way street that both sexes have to learn to walk.

[grannyfranny100]

After my husband died when we were in our mid thirties, I did accept a few dinner dates but quickly saw that sex was expected and that they were all married men. It was as if I was wearing a widow sign on my back. I found it unbelievable since they had a spouse with whom to work on marriage issues and mine was dead. They obviously didn't take their marriage vows very seriously.

My dad did an interesting one that might arouse your imagination. He worked until 11 P.M. and called my mother to meet him for a drink. She was already in bed with the dreadfull plastic pink hair curlers, she removed them, dressed and waited at the bar. My father arrived and sat at the other side of the bar. He asked the bartender abouut the woman and had the bartender deilver a second drink. The pick up routine began. Amazing what that did.....

My husband and I always saved Friday night for just us despite ultra busy NY business and social calendars. Sometimes it was just pizza and beer in front of the bedroom TV with lots of laughable farts, stories of trying to hold it in during the early days and a pizza bikini... Sometimes it was dinner in a classy restaurant with hushed discussion of what he wanted after dinner as if I were a high priced hooker. Since he just got his pay check, we negotiated each act, he put the money on the table and I swished it off the table with a sexy look and continued the game until we were ready to leave the restaurant and rent a hotel room. Once we even went to see a sex film in Copenhagen which I found boring and we went back to the hotel for our own version.

Maybe you need to add some play time if your marriage is getting too routine. And maybe other posters have some idea on how to add some playful magic.........

[Tenzin]

You may have an entity attachment.

More and more people these days have physical and psychological problems due to that and not aware of it.

[Flash]

I am definitely sorry for the Chinese girl, it is most probably not what she had foreseen for her future. Also, most of them are being forced to give sexual services to pay back the never ending debt to the "passeurs" (those that bring them abroad). In fact they are pimped in order to pay back coming to Australia, CAnada, Europe, wherever they have been sent.

I feel sorry for you too. Why not finding a girlfriend who will be ready to share wild sexual rides with you. That would certainly be more satisfying altogether - if you have a girlfriend, why not talk about wild sex? And see if she wants it. Many more women fantasize than you may think.

I think you are actually throwing away the rigid ways of your education and come to understand you natural bodily needs. The floodgate may open for a while but will most probably stabilize later on, not to return to rigid (pun not intended) ways however.

[Tangri]

You may have an entity attachment.

More and more people these days have physical and psychological problems due to that and not aware of it.

They are the cause of Instincts(Eros). They are useful for survival of living beings and their motivation of life but with some reason , they are overdoing it and this overdo disturbs and alert the host.
-automatic
-irresistible
-happens at some point in one’s development
- triggered by an environmental occurrence
- happens in each member of the species
- unmodifiable
-does not require training:clapping:

[Mu2143]

It could be that people are assigned to attack you willingly or unwillingly
that are in your neighbourhood or close to it where you live!!
if this suddenly happens out of the blue you know that it is some one here
physically to attack you spiritually that effects your mind.
Does who are making does attacks are the fallen angels who are physically here.

And the cure is , practicing righteousness

[kanishk]

hi Apokalypse, you are feelling bad about it becouse there is no love involved. You are right when you say it is all in the mind. i guess they want you busy in that issue so you dont focus in what you really should. maybe you are about to find your soulmate, that'l be great, and more is your new partern is in hypersexuality too... serious here. Take your decicions based on Love, all. thanks for sharing
much love



i talked to one of the girl and get even more depress or frustration, she told me that she came to down under from china just 2 month no families and stuff. what ever it is but i have heard so many stories about international students into work of adult services especially wifey gave other man a sexual service(really suprise me)...this make me feel sad about society and feel sorry for those people.

Apolalypse, I think maybe you are getting envious towards opposite sex of being promiscuous, having more sexual pleasure than you.. because some your women friends or you male friends also may have said something to you. You need to analyze what they have said and were it was coming from. Someone may have said something to you to prove them self right, to get rid of frustration in their own life.

And by going to such spas is not fulfilling you because there is no love involved. And when you come out you feel guilty. And then afterwords your focus goes on to what that person said to you, what entertainment industry is saying about how your sexual life should be, (like making pointers, making counts of how many gf's you had etc) you feel more frustrated. Because nothing is fitting in that archetype.

There is a possibility that entities are also taking advantage and sucking you spiritual energy.. but it could be someone in your friends male or female.. or it could be just the entertainment industry.

Or really as betoobig said your soulmate is out there.. and you have waited for them so long ..

I was also suffering from such kind of similar dilemma.. and was suffering too much.. yes but not going to red light areas.. But even if I have it would not have achieved much but yes it can give you temporary relief and you can stay away from big depressions..

I had no option for doing any freezone scientology web auditing(which is costly and you need to have spare time for doing that every day)/ I tried past life regressionalist but in India it is very difficult to find good professional who is honest.. So moving to places to meet a good past life therapist is also out of the way.. And I was trying to have a psychic reading from Carol Clark from so much time .. So I received a reading .. And don't know how it healed me.. These are the suggestion I can give..

[Maknocktomb]

I am aware that yoga can help control and redirect the sexural (root chakra) energy you are experiencing. You can do a simple Google search for some of the exercises. Good luck.

[kanishk]

hi Apokalypse, you are feelling bad about it becouse there is no love involved. You are right when you say it is all in the mind. i guess they want you busy in that issue so you dont focus in what you really should. maybe you are about to find your soulmate, that'l be great, and more is your new partern is in hypersexuality too... serious here. Take your decicions based on Love, all. thanks for sharing
much love



hi Apokalypse, you are feelling bad about it becouse there is no love involved. You are right when you say it is all in the mind. i guess they want you busy in that issue so you dont focus in what you really should. maybe you are about to find your soulmate, that'l be great, and more is your new partern is in hypersexuality too... serious here. Take your decicions based on Love, all. thanks for sharing
much love



i talked to one of the girl and get even more depress or frustration, she told me that she came to down under from china just 2 month no families and stuff. what ever it is but i have heard so many stories about international students into work of adult services especially wifey gave other man a sexual service(really suprise me)...this make me feel sad about society and feel sorry for those people.

Apolalypse, I think maybe you are getting envious towards opposite sex of being promiscuous, having more sexual pleasure than you.. because some your women friends or you male friends also may have said something to you. You need to analyze what they have said and were it was coming from. Someone may have said something to you to prove them self right, to get rid of frustration in their own life.

And by going to such spas is not fulfilling you because there is no love involved. And when you come out you feel guilty. And then afterwords your focus goes on to what that person said to you, what entertainment industry is saying about how your sexual life should be, (like making pointers, making counts of how many gf's you had etc) you feel more frustrated. Because nothing is fitting in that archetype.

There is a possibility that entities are also taking advantage and sucking you spiritual energy.. but it could be someone in your friends male or female.. or it could be just the entertainment industry.

Or really as betoobig said your soulmate is out there.. and you have waited for them so long ..

I was also suffering from such kind of similar dilemma.. and was suffering too much.. yes but not going to red light areas.. But even if I have it would not have achieved much but yes it can give you temporary relief and you can stay away from big depressions..

I had no option for doing any freezone scientology web auditing(which is costly and you need to have spare time for doing that every day)/ I tried past life regressionalist but in India it is very difficult to find good professional who is honest.. So moving to places to meet a good past life therapist is also out of the way.. And I was trying to have a psychic reading from Carol Clark from so much time .. So I received a reading .. And don't know how it healed me.. These are the suggestion I can give..

But if it just the sexual urge that you are going to prostitutes, then search more you will eventually find a good one, whom you can love and she can give your love back.

Or else try to divert your attention and suppress the sexual urges. In Buddhism you can find so much information about suppressing sexual urges. And how bhikkus use to control themselves and what they think of sex.

This way they eventually were able to get free themselves of the clutches of body.

These practices were followed by the married couples also.. because Buddhism is not about doing extremes.. its about middle path..

That's why Buddha was considered to be a inverter who invented middle path.

Just like a guitars(veena) string should not be very tight or very loos.. Then only they can emit a pleasant sound..
Just like eating too much and too less both is not good for the health of body and mind and only eating balanced food can achieved clear state of mind so as to make a song to sing.

Similarly common house hold Buddhist tried to live their life according to teaching of Buddha using the formula middle path (Mazzhim Patipada/ Mdhyam marga).

[Mu2143]

THE TRIAL REVIEW: THE FACE OF EROS LOVE ON THE PATH TO HOME #1
E2Pe2hr6Stc



THE TRIAL REVIEW: EROS IS CUPID, AN HEIR OF LOVE AND WAR #2
cLx_Gb-_DF4

RADIO SHOW LINK - See The Coming Of The Snare...The Trap Is Set
http://show-notes.info/be4thefire/piwigo/index.php?/category/574

[kirolak]

Strange, I had just read excerpts of Eve Lorgen's book here when I noticed your thread. . . . .

http://aetherforce.com/the-dark-side-of-cupid-hyperdimensional-interferences-in-love-relationships-by-bernhard-guenther/

[Bubu]

I see nothing wrong in this for as long as you don't hurt anyone. You only feel bad because of the society conditioning, this is bad this is what should be.... You're lucky some people having a hard time getting an active sex. If I where in your shoes I will strike while the iron is hot:)

[kanishk]

Our body is like a pet, so some times we have to train it like that, by reading such stories or watching such movies..

Here I like to share the story of Buddha and Amrapali. I don't know were I first read this story in my life but those translations, wherever I read them, were the best. So I am just pasting here what I found with quick search in net. Here is the story..


THE STORY OF BUDDHA AND AMRAPALI


Amrapali of Vaishali democracy in ancient India was the most beautiful woman of the world at that age. She is one of the all time bests. She is the only woman in the history who had been forced to prostitution by state order.


Amrapali was born in the ancient democratic state of India to an unknown parents. Someone found her beneath a mango tree. He and her wife adopted her as their daughter. Mango is ‘Amra’ in Sanskrit language thus she was named Amrapali. She had grown up to her youth with a magnificent look. She had a milk like white skin, her lips were as red as pomegranate, her chicks were like the roses, she had a nose like a parrot, she had a lotus eye, her neck was long as crane. Her legs and hands were long and slim. Her fingers were like the brush of an artist. Her naval was compared with the depth of a lake. There are tons of description of her beauty in Pali texts. No doubt, she was the most beautiful woman of the world.

As she stepped into her youth people of Vaishali state became crazy of her. Every body wanted to marry her. Her beauty made the city mad. People started coming with proposals to her parents. The Lords, merchants, senators, generals of army everyone had only one wish.....get Amrapali. Her parents were perturbed with flooded proposals .They could not decide anything about her marriage. The poor fellows, what could they do ? If they decide in favour of anyone others would be angry and could create problem for them. Her beauty became her greatest enemy.

The parliament of Vaishali was also informed of the same. Members of the democratic parliament sat to discuss over the issue. They discussed and debated a long. Every member put his own view. After long sessions they came with an unanimous decision. Parliament of Vaishali took a unique and historical decision. It decided to make her a prostitute. It was dangerous to hand over Amrapali to any one. Others would not accept it easily. It would break the unity of Vaishali, the most powerful democracy of ancient India. Amrapali was forced to be a ‘ Nagar Vadhu ’ (wife of the city), that means a prostitute, by order of Parliament. She sacrificed her wishes, her married and family life in order to save unity of her country. Everybody was then permitted to meet with and to make love with her. She was not only the most beautiful but also an expert in dance and music. She entertained Lords and mass, rich and poor, braves and cowards, everyone.

Fragrance of her beauty, her art, her intelligence and skill in dance and music spread crossing borders of her state.

Shrenik, the bimbisara, Emperor of powerful Magadha state was attracted to her. As Vaishali was an enemy of Magadha, it was difficult for him to come and meet with her. But he found himself unable to resist from meeting this heavenly beauty of Vaishali. He came to Vaishali in a disguise and made love with Amrapali. Bimbisara was a good musician. They fell in love. Amrapali bore him a son named Vimala Kondanna. Later, Bimbisara attacked Vaishali, and took refuge in Amrapali's house .When she learned his true identity, Amrapali asked Bimbisara to leave and cease his war. Amrapali denied to be her Empress because she knew that her state Vaishali would never accept it. Bimbisara, smitten with love, did as she asked.In the eyes of the people of Vaishali, this incident made him a coward. Ajatashatru, Bimbisara's son by another woman, took revenge by invading Vaishali.

Amrapali was never mentally satisfied inspite of comfort and luxury provided by her state. She never liked to be a prostitute. She hated this life. She wanted to live a genuine peaceful life.

In between, Gautama, Prince of Kapilavastu, initiated. He sacrificed all earthly comforts and luxury in search of eternal peace. He attained enlightenment after long years of austerity. He became the Buddha, Gautama, the Buddha. He started preaching Ariyo atthangiko maggo, the eight fold path of spirituality. He started teaching Vipassana meditation , the path of Shila, Samadhi and Prajna. His preaching attracted large numbers of people. Magadha, Vaishali, Kashi, Koshala all the states of ancient India was flooded with his followers. Amrapali heard of the Buddha and of his preachings. She wanted to meet him and to listen his enlightened doctrines.

Once Buddha was staying in Vaishali, where Amrapali lived. One day Amraplai was standing on her terrace and she saw a young Buddhist monk. She had never fallen in love so deeply with anybody just at the first glance, although every day she had to pretend to be a great lover to this king, to that king, to this rich man, to that general. But she fell suddenly in love with the man, a Buddhist monk who had nothing, just a begging bowl --a young man, but of a tremendous presence, awareness, grace. The way he was walking ...
She rushed down, she asked the monk, "Please -- today accept my food."

Other monks were also coming behind him, because whenever Buddha was moving anywhere, ten thousand monks were always moving with him. The other monks could not believe this. They were jealous and angry and feeling all human qualities and frailties as they saw the young man enter the palace of Amrapali. Amrapali told him, "After three days the rainy season is going to start ..." Buddhist monks don't move for four months when it is the rainy season. Those are the four months they stay in one place; for eight months they continuously move, they can't stay more than three days in one place.

It is a strange psychology, we may watch it in ourselves : to be attached to some place it takes us at least four days. For example, for the first day in a new house we may not be able to sleep, the second day it will be little easier, the third day it will be even easier, and the fourth day we will be able to sleep perfectly at home. So before that, if you are a Buddhist monk, you have to leave.

Amrapali said, "After just three days the rainy season is to begin, and I invite you to stay in my house for the four months". The young monk said, "I will ask my master. If he allows me, I will come." As he went out there was a crowd of monks standing, asking him what had happened. He said, "I have taken my meal, and the woman has asked me to stay the four months of the rainy season in her palace. I told her that I will ask my master."

People were really angry -- one day was already too much; but four months continuously ...! They rushed towards Gautam Buddha. Before the young man could reach the assembly, there were hundreds standing up and telling Gautam Buddha, "This man has to be stopped. That woman is a prostitute, and a monk staying four months in a prostitute's house ..."

Buddha said, "You keep quiet! Let him come. He has not agreed to stay; he has agreed only if I allow him. Let him come." The young monk came, touched the feet of Buddha and told the whole story, "The woman is a prostitute, a famous prostitute, Amrapali. She has asked me to stay for four months in her house. Every monk will be staying somewhere, in somebody's house, for the four months. I have told her that I will ask my master, so I am here ... whatever you say."

Buddha looked into his eyes and said, "You can stay." It was a shock.Ten thousand monks ... There was great silence, but great anger, great jealousy. They could not believe that Buddha has allowed a monk to stay in a prostitute's house. After three days the young man left to stay with Amrapali, and the monks every day started bringing gossips, "The whole city is agog. There is only one talk -- that a Buddhist monk is staying with Amrapali for four months continuously."

Buddha said, "You should keep silent. Four months will pass and I trust my monk. I have looked into his eyes -- there was no desire. If I had said no, he would not have felt anything. I said yes ... he simply went. And I trust in my monk, in his awareness, in his meditation. "Why are you getting so agitated and worried ? If my monk's meditation is deep then he will change Amrapali, and if his meditation is not deep then Amrapali may change him. It is now a question between meditation and a biological attraction. Just wait for four months. I trust my young man. He has been doing perfectly well and I have every certainty he will come out of this fire test absolutely victorious."

Nobody believed Gautam Buddha. His own disciples thought, "He is trusting too much. The man is too young; he is too fresh and Amrapali is much too beautiful. He is taking an unnecessary risk." But there was nothing else to do.


After four months the young man came, touched Buddha's feet -- and following him was Amrapali, dressed as a Buddhist nun. She touched Buddha's feet and she said, "I tried my best to seduce your monk, but he seduced me. He convinced me by his presence and awareness that the real life is at your feet. I want to give all my possessions to the commune of your monks."

She had a very beautiful garden and a beautiful palace. She said, "You can make it a place where ten thousand monks can stay in any rainy season." And Buddha said to the assembly, "Now, are you satisfied or not?"

Amrapali became a devotee of Buddha. She proposed The Buddha to take her in his Sangha as a bhikkhuni (Nun), but at first he refused to do so. He told her that there was no arrangement for bhikkhuni in the Sangha. Only bhikkhus (monks) are allowed in the Sangha.Amrapali asked boldly why the arrangement was like that. The Buddha replied that an woman could break the sanctity of the monks. Amrapali again argued with courage whether the monks of the Buddha were so weak that they could break their vow if in touch with an woman? Buddha could not reply and took the most beautiful woman in his Sangha. Amrapali was posted as the head of the Bhikkhuni Sangha of the Buddha.

On growing up, Vimala Kondanna too became a Buddhist monk.

Source:http://www.speakingtree.in/blog/the-story-of-buddha-and-amrapali

[Flash]

Really beautiful story, and quite appropriate for the given situation here.

The body has needs, it needs to be touched (children die if they are not touched at an early age), it needs to be fed, it needs water. But the body is not the individual, it is just a vehicule for the individual. The individual is the driver. The individual should not give it too much gaz, in order not to flood it, nor leave it to rust and rot for lack of care. The body needs a bit of care, but not necessarily the care we think it needs at a given time.

You are not your body. Once you know the bodies needs, just fulfill them in the best and gentler way you can. With love for yourself, for your body, love it, so that you will want it to have loving encounters. And love your emotions too.

Someone once told me, when having aching needs for lots of sex, that she thought that the Kundalini may be rising - provoking those unbalances.

You can check that too.



Our body is like a pet, so some times we have to train it like that, by reading such stories or watching such movies..

Here I like to share the story of Buddha and Amrapali. I don't know were I first read this story in my life but those translations, wherever I read them, were the best. So I am just pasting here what I found with quick search in net. Here is the story..


THE STORY OF BUDDHA AND AMRAPALI


Amrapali of Vaishali democracy in ancient India was the most beautiful woman of the world at that age. She is one of the all time bests. She is the only woman in the history who had been forced to prostitution by state order.


Amrapali was born in the ancient democratic state of India to an unknown parents. Someone found her beneath a mango tree. He and her wife adopted her as their daughter. Mango is ‘Amra’ in Sanskrit language thus she was named Amrapali. She had grown up to her youth with a magnificent look. She had a milk like white skin, her lips were as red as pomegranate, her chicks were like the roses, she had a nose like a parrot, she had a lotus eye, her neck was long as crane. Her legs and hands were long and slim. Her fingers were like the brush of an artist. Her naval was compared with the depth of a lake. There are tons of description of her beauty in Pali texts. No doubt, she was the most beautiful woman of the world.

As she stepped into her youth people of Vaishali state became crazy of her. Every body wanted to marry her. Her beauty made the city mad. People started coming with proposals to her parents. The Lords, merchants, senators, generals of army everyone had only one wish.....get Amrapali. Her parents were perturbed with flooded proposals .They could not decide anything about her marriage. The poor fellows, what could they do ? If they decide in favour of anyone others would be angry and could create problem for them. Her beauty became her greatest enemy.

The parliament of Vaishali was also informed of the same. Members of the democratic parliament sat to discuss over the issue. They discussed and debated a long. Every member put his own view. After long sessions they came with an unanimous decision. Parliament of Vaishali took a unique and historical decision. It decided to make her a prostitute. It was dangerous to hand over Amrapali to any one. Others would not accept it easily. It would break the unity of Vaishali, the most powerful democracy of ancient India. Amrapali was forced to be a ‘ Nagar Vadhu ’ (wife of the city), that means a prostitute, by order of Parliament. She sacrificed her wishes, her married and family life in order to save unity of her country. Everybody was then permitted to meet with and to make love with her. She was not only the most beautiful but also an expert in dance and music. She entertained Lords and mass, rich and poor, braves and cowards, everyone.

Fragrance of her beauty, her art, her intelligence and skill in dance and music spread crossing borders of her state.

Shrenik, the bimbisara, Emperor of powerful Magadha state was attracted to her. As Vaishali was an enemy of Magadha, it was difficult for him to come and meet with her. But he found himself unable to resist from meeting this heavenly beauty of Vaishali. He came to Vaishali in a disguise and made love with Amrapali. Bimbisara was a good musician. They fell in love. Amrapali bore him a son named Vimala Kondanna. Later, Bimbisara attacked Vaishali, and took refuge in Amrapali's house .When she learned his true identity, Amrapali asked Bimbisara to leave and cease his war. Amrapali denied to be her Empress because she knew that her state Vaishali would never accept it. Bimbisara, smitten with love, did as she asked.In the eyes of the people of Vaishali, this incident made him a coward. Ajatashatru, Bimbisara's son by another woman, took revenge by invading Vaishali.

Amrapali was never mentally satisfied inspite of comfort and luxury provided by her state. She never liked to be a prostitute. She hated this life. She wanted to live a genuine peaceful life.

In between, Gautama, Prince of Kapilavastu, initiated. He sacrificed all earthly comforts and luxury in search of eternal peace. He attained enlightenment after long years of austerity. He became the Buddha, Gautama, the Buddha. He started preaching Ariyo atthangiko maggo, the eight fold path of spirituality. He started teaching Vipassana meditation , the path of Shila, Samadhi and Prajna. His preaching attracted large numbers of people. Magadha, Vaishali, Kashi, Koshala all the states of ancient India was flooded with his followers. Amrapali heard of the Buddha and of his preachings. She wanted to meet him and to listen his enlightened doctrines.

Once Buddha was staying in Vaishali, where Amrapali lived. One day Amraplai was standing on her terrace and she saw a young Buddhist monk. She had never fallen in love so deeply with anybody just at the first glance, although every day she had to pretend to be a great lover to this king, to that king, to this rich man, to that general. But she fell suddenly in love with the man, a Buddhist monk who had nothing, just a begging bowl --a young man, but of a tremendous presence, awareness, grace. The way he was walking ...
She rushed down, she asked the monk, "Please -- today accept my food."

Other monks were also coming behind him, because whenever Buddha was moving anywhere, ten thousand monks were always moving with him. The other monks could not believe this. They were jealous and angry and feeling all human qualities and frailties as they saw the young man enter the palace of Amrapali. Amrapali told him, "After three days the rainy season is going to start ..." Buddhist monks don't move for four months when it is the rainy season. Those are the four months they stay in one place; for eight months they continuously move, they can't stay more than three days in one place.

It is a strange psychology, we may watch it in ourselves : to be attached to some place it takes us at least four days. For example, for the first day in a new house we may not be able to sleep, the second day it will be little easier, the third day it will be even easier, and the fourth day we will be able to sleep perfectly at home. So before that, if you are a Buddhist monk, you have to leave.

Amrapali said, "After just three days the rainy season is to begin, and I invite you to stay in my house for the four months". The young monk said, "I will ask my master. If he allows me, I will come." As he went out there was a crowd of monks standing, asking him what had happened. He said, "I have taken my meal, and the woman has asked me to stay the four months of the rainy season in her palace. I told her that I will ask my master."

People were really angry -- one day was already too much; but four months continuously ...! They rushed towards Gautam Buddha. Before the young man could reach the assembly, there were hundreds standing up and telling Gautam Buddha, "This man has to be stopped. That woman is a prostitute, and a monk staying four months in a prostitute's house ..."

Buddha said, "You keep quiet! Let him come. He has not agreed to stay; he has agreed only if I allow him. Let him come." The young monk came, touched the feet of Buddha and told the whole story, "The woman is a prostitute, a famous prostitute, Amrapali. She has asked me to stay for four months in her house. Every monk will be staying somewhere, in somebody's house, for the four months. I have told her that I will ask my master, so I am here ... whatever you say."

Buddha looked into his eyes and said, "You can stay." It was a shock.Ten thousand monks ... There was great silence, but great anger, great jealousy. They could not believe that Buddha has allowed a monk to stay in a prostitute's house. After three days the young man left to stay with Amrapali, and the monks every day started bringing gossips, "The whole city is agog. There is only one talk -- that a Buddhist monk is staying with Amrapali for four months continuously."

Buddha said, "You should keep silent. Four months will pass and I trust my monk. I have looked into his eyes -- there was no desire. If I had said no, he would not have felt anything. I said yes ... he simply went. And I trust in my monk, in his awareness, in his meditation. "Why are you getting so agitated and worried ? If my monk's meditation is deep then he will change Amrapali, and if his meditation is not deep then Amrapali may change him. It is now a question between meditation and a biological attraction. Just wait for four months. I trust my young man. He has been doing perfectly well and I have every certainty he will come out of this fire test absolutely victorious."

Nobody believed Gautam Buddha. His own disciples thought, "He is trusting too much. The man is too young; he is too fresh and Amrapali is much too beautiful. He is taking an unnecessary risk." But there was nothing else to do.


After four months the young man came, touched Buddha's feet -- and following him was Amrapali, dressed as a Buddhist nun. She touched Buddha's feet and she said, "I tried my best to seduce your monk, but he seduced me. He convinced me by his presence and awareness that the real life is at your feet. I want to give all my possessions to the commune of your monks."

She had a very beautiful garden and a beautiful palace. She said, "You can make it a place where ten thousand monks can stay in any rainy season." And Buddha said to the assembly, "Now, are you satisfied or not?"

Amrapali became a devotee of Buddha. She proposed The Buddha to take her in his Sangha as a bhikkhuni (Nun), but at first he refused to do so. He told her that there was no arrangement for bhikkhuni in the Sangha. Only bhikkhus (monks) are allowed in the Sangha.Amrapali asked boldly why the arrangement was like that. The Buddha replied that an woman could break the sanctity of the monks. Amrapali again argued with courage whether the monks of the Buddha were so weak that they could break their vow if in touch with an woman? Buddha could not reply and took the most beautiful woman in his Sangha. Amrapali was posted as the head of the Bhikkhuni Sangha of the Buddha.

On growing up, Vimala Kondanna too became a Buddhist monk.

Source:http://www.speakingtree.in/blog/the-story-of-buddha-and-amrapali

[21g]

Applaud your bravery, can be a difficult subject to broach !

Have had this issue myself, ironically, after an awakening of sorts.
You ve chosen not to be in denial about it, so that is a healthy approach.
Their is plenty of helpful advice already in this thread but for me personally,
realising that sexual energy is raw creative energy has helped my rehab. The " symptoms "
are far less intense when i am engaged creatively :)

Good luck and know that it will not define your life, and, you will eventually,return to balance.

[Constance]

Hello Apokalypse,

Here is something I posted for someone else but may also be helpful to you



You need to develop a conscious connection with Source. What I mean by this is that you imagine that you are standing before source constantly. :sun: and this is where you anchor yourself permanently.
I'm not sure if you are aware of this but there is a connection between the optic nerve and the higher self. Looking slightly upwards and inwards, will help to maintain a conscious connection.

Your future self is always beckoning you on, so keep on going within because that whispering in your ears is the guidance you need.

I would also heartily recommend and encourage you to take a look at Stig Severinsen's work on the breath.

The breath can be one of the best tools in your toolkit. When we breathe from our lower belly's all is good with the world.

Here is a little TedTalk he did recently that is practical and loving.
Stig says that when we can control our breathing, we can control our mind. I have found it to be very true.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9c7tkljd3A

with many big earth hugs to you :bearhug:

I also suggest that you find yourself a good naturopath. If you live in Melbourne, I can recommend a really good one. Your diet has a big part to play in the way that your mind works.

with much love,
Breal

[Old Wolf]

Hello Apokalypse,
I also suggest that you find yourself a good naturopath. If you live in Melbourne, I can recommend a really good one.


What if someone happened to live near Melbourne but commuted fairly frequently? Would that suffice for a recommendation?

;)

[Constance]

Hello Apokalypse,
I also suggest that you find yourself a good naturopath. If you live in Melbourne, I can recommend a really good one.


What if someone happened to live near Melbourne but commuted fairly frequently? Would that suffice for a recommendation?

;)

Yes :bigsmile: PM me sweet Old Wolf