I'm going to Retire soon...

[jagman]

Hello Avalon, and Friends,Mods and Bill..
This is Not goodbye! I'm Simply Leaving the Cyber World...
To my Friends: I will Miss You all, for so many different
reasons!
I'm not mad at anyone here. I do feel like I owe you guys
an explanation.Iv'e always tried to be honest with all of
you! It's like I've lived several different lives, In One Lifetime.
(If that makes any sense at all) I was born into a house
that was fairly wealthy but watched my Mom get abused
by my Dad! ( Mentally and physically ) She finally got away
from him when I was 6 years old. She Tried to make a living
for us but she only could get a waitress job. So for the next
few years I was dirt poor. We lived in a 2 bedroom shack.
One of the rooms had a dirt floor. We had an outhouse lol the The shack was in the woods and It was actually really fun
I built me a really great club house and rode by bike all the
time. It was scary too! We had a Mountain lion that lived
near by, and when it would scream, The Hairs on the back of
Neck would stand up lol

A Few years went by and my mother started dating after her
divorce and she met a man who she would later marry. His
name was Rick. Rick, was a drug abuser and eventually a
physical abuser. When I was eight years old, A man came to
our house and he was a supposedly a friend of ricks. The man
was drunk and he started making accusations toward my stepdad
I watched the man reach into his pocket several times and pull a
knife out several times. But he never opened the blade but my
stepdad reached over and on our front porch was a spade shovel
and he grabbed it and then sliced man"s ear off with one wack!
In other ways he was a very good man. Like he would stay up
with me all night when I was sick! but he was also a very
dangerous man! He was so strong.One time Our car had a flat
tire and we were stranded on 55 HWY without a jack. We owned
a Buick and that's when they still made cars out of real metal.
Anyway he broke the lugs loose and and he got me out of the car
and told me when he picked up the side of the car he wanted me to
put the tire on and hand tighten the lug nuts. He reached down and
picked up onside of the car and I put the tire on. I figured it was over
12 or 13 hundred pounds! I was scared of him but I also loved him.

He went to prison when I was a teenager for 20 years...
My mother went to school and got to really good jobs and
She took really good care of us ( My 2 brothers and one sister )
I went wild when I was a teen! I've probably slept with over a
hundred different women ( I always used protection !!!)
from the time I was 17 to 27...I'm NOT proud of this fact!!!
I did a lot of crazy stuff that I'm not proud of!

When I met my wife i became a good man. She had 2 small
children and I treated like they were mine. I had to learn how
to be a Dad, but once I did I was a good father. I wanted to be
the exact opposite of what both my fathers had been!

I failed sometimes but I was never abusive to my kids or wife!
I showed my kid's a lot of love. and when my son's were born
I tried even harder to become a better human being. I wasn't
perfect but I Loved them with all my heart! I was also a good
provider. The day she left she cleaned 27 thousand out of the
account and took the kids to live with another man in another
state.My son Jason was 5 and my son josh was 2. My son Josh
screamed for me the whole time when she was putting him in the
car to leave( He was screaming Please leave me with my daddy)

That was the first night my kids were away from me since they
day they were born... That was the last time I seen them for
3 month's.

I was literally losing my mind and I was working for the prison
at that time ( Bad Combination!) There is a reason I'm telling you
this story! I just need you all to know I wasn't in my right mind
when what happened to me next. First I set out to find has many
Girlfriends I used to have and apologize for treating them poorly!
I really was sorry... I wasn't trying to get down any of their pants!
Then one night a girl named Jennifer came to my house she and
she was only 19 and I was 32. She was beautiful inside and out!
After about a month of us dating,she came to me and told me that
her dad was kinda my boss at work. She wasn't lying he was the
Warden. About 2 weeks later he caught me over at her house with
my pants down literally lol He was banging on the front door.
So I ran out to the back door and took off in my truck.

He is about my size but he had the advantage on me because if
I would have found out my 19 year old daughter was messing with
a 32 year old man I would have probably opened up a can of
whoop arse on him! lol

The next day at work my Captain came to me and told me the warden
wanted to talk to me right now! I walked to his office which was about
a half mile away. You want to talk about a long walk........................
When I got there He was turned around in his chair and his secretary
announced my arrival. He said set down. So I did! He said he did not
approve of our age difference but he told me I had better be good to his
daughter! And he said It was a good idea that I ran that day lol

A few weeks went Bye, and Me and Jennifer rented a house together.
A few weeks later she tells me she's pregnant with my child!
I took care of her until 4 weeks after Kaydn was born.
I was in a downward spiral and I felt like I was taking Jennifer &
Kaydn down with me. So one night I told Jennifer, She should leave
and go to her mothers and find a man closer to her own age and
get married.She cried all night and begged me to marry her but
my mind was so far gone! I just wanted her to have a good life
and I also wanted Kaydn to have a good life.

Jennifer was so good to my son's and to me! (She was a Angel)
So she left the next day and about 2 months went bye and she
called me and told me she had met someone who was her age
and he was good to her and Kaydn and she told me she was
going to get married and she asked me if I would be willing to let
this young man adopt Kaydn. I agreed........................................

I cried the whole day home after I signed the papers.
I found her picture a few days ago on the net. Here is
my beautiful girl Kaydn

Kaydn The One with the glasses
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=32082&d=1449041053

And here Is a Picture of her Mother Jennifer
I loved her so much
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=32083&d=1449041467&thumb=1&stc=1


My mother got really sick a few years ago and I had to take
care of her.I got paid but I fell way behind on child support and my
ex was really pushing the prosecution! They were going to give
me 5 years in prison! So my ex called me a year ago and said if
I gave the boys up for adoption she would forgive all back support.
My Mother was getting ready for a big operation and if I went to
prison she probably would die with out me taking care of her!
So I signed the papers and I have not seen my kids in a year.
Here are 2 pics I found yesterday on the net of Jason & Joshua
Jason wearing the glasses

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=32084&d=1449042263

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/attachment.php?attachmentid=32085&d=1449042286

This is not good bye and I'm Not mad at any of you!
I will miss you all so much for so many different reasons
I'm just leaving the cyber world for now.
I'm alright but I need a break and I'm sorry if what I wrote
changes any of your opinions about me. I want to be left
unretired for a few days so all my friends can interact with me.

Goodnight Avalon, I'll talk to you in the morning.

[Woody]

Hi jagman,
Try not to beat yourself up, it seems to me that you have been dealt some tough situations to deal with. Often life puts us in situations where we make decisions that we regret later.
You are not a bad person jagman.

Please take care brother.

Woody

[quiltinggrandma]

god speed jagman.....until you get back home to avalon-and you have a lovely family,,thank you for sharing,,,we'll miss you

[Sunny-side-up]

Love ya man, I really mean that!

You take care and continue to grow in good directions.

Remember there is always support for you here bro :)

Health and Peace
Alan

[Lifebringer]

We aren't perfect people, born with instructions of how to love or "be loved." I too have had a very incorrect judgemental life. I'm duel. I have to be wha5t others feel I should be in their presence/material world, without letting the more truthful me, shine. A suppressed light will dim over time. Please don't beat yourself over the learning experience, you sacrificed a great love in protection of hurting her, as you yourself were hurting from childhood pain.
Your's is a cakewalk comparing mine, just?" the loss of love, abuse, feeling helpless because of being small. It was meant to be, your children are grown, one day you'll meet over the buffet and explain it as well as you did here.
Godspeed on your "walkabout journey."
Oh and Jag, those children have a visible awareness and light in them. (not kids/goat behavior/stubborn)
Beautiful as their future we make now.
See ya when ya' get back.

[Shannon]

Aw, jagman...I'm going to miss your posts. Nothing you wrote has changed my opinion of you one bit. I wish you all the best and hope you find what makes you happy.

Be good, hoss. :) and thank you.

[Ahnung-quay]

Jagman- I don't do a lot of posting here on Avalon but, I want to thank you for your honest story. It seems like so many of us have been given a hard path in this life. As you continue your walk, don't forget to share your love. I will miss reading your posts! Come back soon brother.

[Bill Ryan]

.
Fully understood. Thank you so much for the beautiful pictures. Jennifer indeed looks like an angel... when I opened the thread, I immediately saw her and thought: "Who's that?!"

Always remember: when someone feels desperately bad about things that have happened, no matter what they are — that alone means they're a very good person. A "bad" person would just not look back. Do always think about that.

You are always welcome here... this is also a kind of family, spread across the world. And — age doesn't matter. It really doesn't. Ask anyone here, and they will immediately confirm.

:heart:

[mosquito]

Jagman - You've opened your heart and spoken your truth. There's more power, more beauty in that than in the speeches of 10,000 politicians or preachers.

It takes guts to tell the truth, the real truth. There's no dishonour whatsoever in your story, so take heart, stay strong, be you and enjoy life. Hope to see you here whenever you feel the need to post again. :wizard:

[Blacklight43]

Bless you my friend Jagman. Find healing in your time away and know we are here for you anytime.:bearhug:

[RunningDeer]

Dear Jason,

Give yourself permission
to be your own best friend
the rest falls into place

(A parting gift before your journey. Drag the photo/screen saver to your desktop.)

http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/ii610/WhiteCrowBlackDeer/Jason-kids_zpsaus2fero.jpg

RunningDeer ♡

[Jake]

Wherever you go, you take my support with you! You've gone through so much with those kids! My respect for what you endure is unbound! For what it worth, ive shed tears for you, brother! If there's anything i can do for you, do not hesitate to ask!!!

Jake

[Mercedes]

I wish all the best for you and your family, you are capable of so many wonderful things that you might not even know. So try to look out for your health also, so you can keep doing the good work. :waving:

[sigma6]

Wow Jag... don't know what to say... don't go away... what beautiful children!... I see a lot of love in those kids... that brought a tear to my eye... you've definitely lived more then one life... I love you man! that is putting your heart on the line... you just increased the love energy at this forum with all that your life/truth/love... you are totally bada**! LoL but I don't get it.... why you going... someplace where there isn't internet? ... I hope it's only for a while... will be waiting for you thank you for sharing the love bro... that does warm my heart... will be carrying those pictures with me today...


(LoL ...and you just made me hit my 3000th post dude! ... now you better come back!)

[Deega]

Whoua!, Jagman, impressive!, not an easy task to put forward what you did here! A public confession for the Avalon members who know you by your Treads and Posts, but were not awared of what went through in your life, like it very much.

And no worry Jagman, when I was young, made awful mistakes on people and myself, but everyone of us is caught up in trying to understand self and others!

Whatever you do from now on, the best will be with you!

[Mike]

Jags,

It has always been crystal clear to me that you are a compassionate, loving person. And even.in.your most light hearted moments, there is an undeniable wisdom that shines thru. Youre a good man and it's been a pleasure being pals with ya. Your touching story only makes me respect you more than.I already did before.

Lots of love to you and your beautiful children!

[Stardad]

Many Thanks for your many contributions Jag!

It is sometimes necessary to have very eventful lives in order to redress the scales so to speak. Our love goes out to you and we hope to hear from you again.

From the heart,

SD

[BlueHeron]

It takes a lot of courage to write something like that Jagman. Even more to go through it. I understand giving up a child and the huge amount of love it requires and the pain that follows. So my thoughts are with you and there is no judgement from me at all. Please come back. Much love.

[sunpaw]

Dear jagman.

I am not as much involved at the forum, and I wasn't sure 'which retirement' was meant.
Just a bit into your post I thought 'awww, I am sorry a good person leaves'.
I expected somehow a 'bug out plan' (mentioning woods, shacks..) - and maybe it is, just different.

I am glad I read it and to have 'met' you on your path away. Thank you very much for sharing. I wish you all the best.
I got the impression you reached a point where you want and can take care of your needs and wishes, since you took much care of others.
And I send my hope and wish that you also can/will enjoy your path.

It takes strength to look back, 'see' and also to decide to do something new and beneficial - to grow, come to peace.

Best wishes :sun: sunpaw

[Sierra]

Oh Jags,

So much letting go.

My heart aches for you.

Your children are beautiful. They shine.

Stay strong. You are beautiful too.

[Flash]

It seems that letting your children go was your karma this time around. I am truly sorry for you Jagman. Those children still need their dad, even when grown up, so do not do anything stupid (look whos talking lollllll).

This is a sad story for sure - my family was so poor at one time too that we lived in a garage, my mum was in a wheelchair very sick, and my dad could not pay the hospital bills, so he spent the money he had saved to build us a house and plus. He then went to work to build a dam up north (Canadian north, realllllly cold), had a murder attempt on him there because he was always having the overtime, being good at this job and needing it for my mom, came back half himself and kept working. He finally built a house few years later but it was never finish Inside for lack of money - it got finish when I was 16.

What is tough makes us stronger, usually.

we shall not crumble Under the weight of difficulties, on the contrary.

Hold on and get up Jagman

Much love

Flash

[Carmody]

The interesting thing is that many of us have similarly crazy stories.

The turmoil is what helps us arrive in front of the questions. How it brings us to places like Avalon.

The biggest curse of all is to live the sheltered life where nothing happens.

"Only dead fish swim with the stream" -Malcolm Muggeridge

If there are no trials and tribulations in a life... then it is a life of an automaton, a nothing.

If one is not 'busting a move' for good or bad or whatever chance may bring - then one is already dead and a waste of space for self and other.

There must be, of course..due to being of the body and mind, to have times of stillness, rest, recuperation and reflection, so the differences can be understood and one can move forward in their understanding of the world, to grow, to change..but..to not be (in the given times/moments) of some form of change in self and reflection - is to be a dead thing.

This universe, this reality, this place, is designed around self awareness and differential. To be of no change and no reflection, is to waste the entire point of looking through - and being of... this particular form of glass.

[loc333]

good luck jagman and good luck on your journey(threw this f%$# up world)..all the best. Hope your back here soon.

[Loveisall21]

Dear Jagman
I hope you find the peace that will heal your mind and heart. Sometimes we need to get very quiet to find that peace. Which sometimes necessitates taking some time away and disconnecting from things that can distract us from the heart of the matter of whatever we need to deal with.

I wish you great healing and revelation of yourself.

[moekatz]

So many experiences, sweet souls all. May your journey continue surrounded by warm, loving memories. No need to carry the weight of past years. Only take the light of love with you.

[jagman]

I was scared to read what everyone had wrote this morning. You guy's and gals are great!!!
I will answer everyone of you who wrote me this morning! so please come back and check
the thread because I want to write to everyone of you personally.

[Valley]

Take good care Jag... and drink that coffee slowly, my friend. :)

[Camilo]

Farewell on your journey Jagman, you'll be missed. Thanks for being here.

[Stephanie]

Dearest Jagman,
may your journey be full of harmony
wisdom and wonder,
and may you return soon from your explorations
with all your loveliness.

Blessings for you and your loved ones.

:star::bearhug::heart::star:

.....................................................


:heart:Thank you Flash....you are amazing!

[Daughter of Time]

Dear Jagman,

I'm sorry to see you go, but I understand your decision.

I also had a tremendously difficult upbringing with a terribly abusive father who made my life and mother's life a living hell. We also had to get away and live in poverty. We survived it, but trauma has followed us both. We survived the traumas too! One must be strong when facing challenges.

Your children as still your children and in time all may work out. Always let them know how much you love them, in any way you can. They will remember that when they grow up. One never knows how life will turn out. You may be re-united with your children yet. In time, anything is possible.

These are very difficult times for many, and while I don't expect you to take comfort in this notion, do know you are not alone.

May you rise like the phoenix and experience rebirth in this lifetime. May it happen sooner than you think.

With love,

Daughter of Time

[MorningSong]

Jagman, you will always be one of the gang here at Avalon... your posts will be your legacy and our points of reference... do come back when your heart so wills it.

All things will be restored... including your family... in due time.

Hugs!

[jitu]

http://i66.tinypic.com/aexiyh.jpg
Jagman,

It takes courage to say all you've said.
All the best for your journey ahead. May you meet many kindred spirits.

And may your road bring you back here sometime again.

:flower:
Jitu

[Nasu]

Aww Jag, bless you. Remember you are loved when you step off this cyber life. I already look forward to your return. I wish you strength and courage on your path...xxx.... N

[Flash]

Love you Jagman

Wow, those children are beautiful and they all have this spark of love coming through them. It seems that your karma this lifetime was to give them away. Yet, you are still their dad, they will still need you even as adults, you will see.

Take care and come back soon

[betoobig]

I wish you beutifull dreams and i will be here in the morning for you. Love you my friend. Heads up bro.
Juan

[Joe Sustaire]

Very courageous post jagman! Life can be so hard, but we can learn and give so much. Looks like you have been doing both. You have shared much with us here and it's heart-warming to see the love given back to you. I wish you well in your travels!

[Aurelius]

Jag, hang in there ...

[sandy]

Hi jagman,

May you find some peace and self worth on your journey ahead............keep sticky notes around always and when you think of your children individually or together.......jot down the thought, concern, feeling or wish and then stick it where you can preserve it for the time they come knocking on your door to connect................what a wonderful way to show them the love you carry for them now and always............it will fill their heart and remove some of the pain of the loss of you, for both them and you.

And with that...........please find a way to address your own little boy and inner child and show him the love you so want to give and receive.

This little guy needs you more now than ever and as hard as it is............no one can fulfill the void inside, except you loving you, from the inside out.

This may seem silly at first and feels silly but, You can connect through mirror work and looking into the eyes of your little guy until you feel him and he is looking at you too. Love the heck out of his fearful, shy, timid, lonely, insecure, ambivalent presence and or his sometimes rebellious, spiteful, angry, vengeful, jealous, boastful, who gives a f**k presence. Take time to cradle this little guy each day, hugging him, letting him cry, or rant and reassure him you will not abandon him anymore and will stick with him through thick and thin, good and bad. He needs you to heal, you need him to heal and no one else can do this, no matter the life experience. Look him in the eyes longingly and intensely each day and tell him out loud how much you love him and mean it.........as children know when someone is lying or faking it. :)

You are worthy my friend no matter what...........just because you were born and for no other reason than that!! :bearhug:

These few simple steps won't cost you a penny and do not need a counselor's assistance and as you are taking a hiatus from the net, you will have quality time to spend healing, while taking care of your Mom too.

Love and Blessings of Healing for you both on this path you are entering Jag.....

[jagman]

I want to share 2 more pictures with you guys
Jacquez is josh's friend and football buddy. he
was the one brought josh"s jersey over because
josh hurt his leg playing football. The other is
where josh ended up with the cheerleaders lol

[Debra]

Take it easy on your good hearted self Jagman ..

Thank you for sharing your amazing story and some gorgeous photos.

I look forward to you returning.

All the very best xxxx

[seah]

Jagman, we are all a 'work in progress', every single one of us. With this choice you are ahead of most. Godspeed.

[jagman]

Hi jagman,
Try not to beat yourself up, it seems to me that you have been dealt some tough situations to deal with. Often life puts us in situations where we make decisions that we regret later.
You are not a bad person jagman.

Please take care brother.

Woody

Woody Thank you for your kind response. It's people like yourself
that make PA such a wonderful place!:bigsmile:

[jagman]

god speed jagman.....until you get back home to avalon-and you have a lovely family,,thank you for sharing,,,we'll miss you


Remember quiltinggrandma, This is Not goodbye. I'm just
going to live without the net for a while. I'm on what the Australians
call going on a walk about.. Thank you for your kind words! Ill miss
you too!

[jagman]

Love ya man, I really mean that!

You take care and continue to grow in good directions.

Remember there is always support for you here bro :)

Health and Peace
Alan

I do want to find Peace and Grow. I know you Sunny-side-up
and please continue to help those who need it. Love ya to bro!

[jagman]

We aren't perfect people, born with instructions of how to love or "be loved." I too have had a very incorrect judgemental life. I'm duel. I have to be wha5t others feel I should be in their presence/material world, without letting the more truthful me, shine. A suppressed light will dim over time. Please don't beat yourself over the learning experience, you sacrificed a great love in protection of hurting her, as you yourself were hurting from childhood pain.
Your's is a cakewalk comparing mine, just?" the loss of love, abuse, feeling helpless because of being small. It was meant to be, your children are grown, one day you'll meet over the buffet and explain it as well as you did here.
Godspeed on your "walkabout journey."
Oh and Jag, those children have a visible awareness and light in them. (not kids/goat behavior/stubborn)
Beautiful as their future we make now.
See ya when ya' get back.

A few years ago I wrote a thread on Racism. It was how I taught my son's
To look beyond the color of a mans skin and look for the content of character
I was so proud of This photo I found yesterday. Thank you so much for your kind words.

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/asset.php?fid=25151&uid=7122&d=1449128171

¤=[Post Update]=¤


Aw, jagman...I'm going to miss your posts. Nothing you wrote has changed my opinion of you one bit. I wish you all the best and hope you find what makes you happy.

Be good, hoss. :) and thank you.

I saved my mothers life! I will miss you too Saint Theresa!:waving:

[jagman]

Jagman- I don't do a lot of posting here on Avalon but, I want to thank you for your honest story. It seems like so many of us have been given a hard path in this life. As you continue your walk, don't forget to share your love. I will miss reading your posts! Come back soon brother.

Ahnung-quay Thank you so much for your kind words and I will share
my love and continue to seek people like myself. Your a good person
friend.

[jagman]

.
Fully understood. Thank you so much for the beautiful pictures. Jennifer indeed looks like an angel... when I opened the thread, I immediately saw her and thought: "Who's that?!"

Always remember: when someone feels desperately bad about things that have happened, no matter what they are — that alone means they're a very good person. A "bad" person would just not look back. Do always think about that.

You are always welcome here... this is also a kind of family, spread across the world. And — age doesn't matter. It really doesn't. Ask anyone here, and they will immediately confirm.

:heart:

Bill, Thank You for everything you ever done for me!!!
I always wanted to send you a friend request but I feel
that you know that I will always consider you a friend!

[jagman]

Jagman - You've opened your heart and spoken your truth. There's more power, more beauty in that than in the speeches of 10,000 politicians or preachers.

It takes guts to tell the truth, the real truth. There's no dishonour whatsoever in your story, so take heart, stay strong, be you and enjoy life. Hope to see you here whenever you feel the need to post again. :wizard:

I just tried to speak from the Heart, mosquito
Thank You so much for all your kind words!:bigsmile::bigsmile:

¤=[Post Update]=¤


Bless you my friend Jagman. Find healing in your time away and know we are here for you anytime.:bearhug:

Blacklight43, You were always an enigma to me but a good enigma lol
Thank you for all the times when you helped me here!!!:sun:

[jagman]

Dear Jason,

Give yourself permission
to be your own best friend
the rest falls into place

(A parting gift before your journey. Drag the photo/screen saver to your desktop.)

http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/ii610/WhiteCrowBlackDeer/Jason-kids_zpsaus2fero.jpg

RunningDeer ♡

Paula, Thank you so much for such a wonderful gift! You make this such
a great place! I just dont have the words so here is a song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0YwbAmCwz8

¤=[Post Update]=¤


Wherever you go, you take my support with you! You've gone through so much with those kids! My respect for what you endure is unbound! For what it worth, ive shed tears for you, brother! If there's anything i can do for you, do not hesitate to ask!!!

Jake

Dear Jake, You are a very special person and I'm proud to call you friend.
:bearhug:

[jagman]

Guys, I will be back later to answer everyone of you that have posted to me

[RunningDeer]

Paula, Thank you so much for such a wonderful gift! You make this such
a great place! I just dont have the words so here is a song.

I get being lost for words. More often than not I don’t have any. Thank gawd for pictures.
http://avalonlibrary.net/paula/Recovered/bliss_zpstdsixjgz.GIF

You’re an honorable man, Jason, and deserve all the happiness that you create. Take care of yourself. Leaving the Cyber World is good thing. I hang this sign out from time to time.

Enjoy your walk about.... http://avalonlibrary.net/paula/Recovered/dog-smiley_zpsdli01xpk.GIF

With heart,
Paula


http://avalonlibrary.net/paula/Notices/gone-fishing_zpswmympnv9.JPG

[betoobig]

h7j8wa9sWOE
Love

[Sith73]

I will miss you jagman!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much love to you and your family!

Your Avalon family will be here for you.

Much love to you Brother!!

[Dennis Leahy]

Hey jagman, you've been through some hell...and some heaven... and some hell. Kudos to you for making it through and remaining sane. Those beautiful kids will keep on growing, and they have maybe 90-100 years left (and you might have 70-80 more years on this plane) to reconnect and share in their lives. As they grow in maturity, and experience some of the hardships in life (that they are now unaware of or are sheltered from), they will also have a better understanding of the love you've shown and the sacrifices you've made. In this time, be really good to yourself, don't hide your inner child, laugh when you can, heal yourself, and continue to mature spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. When you get back together - however long it takes - you will have amplified yourself, rather than having diminished yourself - and it will be a win-win-win-win. :~)

Peace, bro.

[jagman]

Guys i will be back tomorrow....I just want to make sure I answer everyone personally!
You Guys and Gals have been my extended family for years! Oh By the way Mike I thanked
your post and "The Great and Powerful OZ" lol Do you remember?lol

[Meggings]

Jason, I've read your entire thread. What a marvelous bunch of people you all are, including you my friend. How wide open your heart has been stretched by the pain you are living through. It gets bigger and bigger, and more and more love pours through.

It is good you are not closing yourself down; it is good you opened up for healing to flow through that wonderful heart of yours. Thank you for sharing. And remember: KEEP ON KEEPING ON.

(or if you are Winston Churchill, phrase it: KSO = KEEP SODDING ON)

[amor]

Just know and call upon the Christ who is connected to you inside and he will help you through all of your further trials in this world. There is a hell and he does not wish you to go there. There is a heavenly place and you will be there with your children. Be grateful and thankful for every small thing and the sun will rise upon any darkness you may feel.

[kirolak]

Jagman, your story is gut-wrenching & brought tears to my eyes . . . . you are such a brave soul! Take care, be well, do whatever it is you know you have to do. . . :Music:

[Curt]

Hi Jagman,

I wish you well in your travels, my friend. And I hope you come back soon- whenever you're ready. We'll miss you, but will look forward to catching up when you return.

Be well, keep in touch, and let us know how you're doing whenever you can.

All the best to you :wave:

[Bill Ryan]

Guys i will be back tomorrow....I just want to make sure I answer everyone personally!
You Guys and Gals have been my extended family for years! Oh By the way Mike I thanked
your post and "The Great and Powerful OZ" lol Do you remember?lol

You do know, of course, that having announced you're going to 'retire'... you don't actually have to. :bearhug:

[Nasu]

Guys i will be back tomorrow....I just want to make sure I answer everyone personally!
You Guys and Gals have been my extended family for years! Oh By the way Mike I thanked
your post and "The Great and Powerful OZ" lol Do you remember?lol

You do know, of course, that having announced you're going to 'retire'... you don't actually have to. :bearhug:

Well said Bill. Take your walk about Jag, but leave a hat on a peg for your possible return...x.... N

[Mike]

Guys i will be back tomorrow....I just want to make sure I answer everyone personally!
You Guys and Gals have been my extended family for years! Oh By the way Mike I thanked
your post and "The Great and Powerful OZ" lol Do you remember?lol


Its not ringing a bell Jags...refresh my memory please..

And hey, Bill's right...hope you don't feel like you gotta retire now if youre having second thought:beer:

[Violet]

Don't forget the letters, Jagman.


:plane:

[jagman]

Guys i will be back tomorrow....I just want to make sure I answer everyone personally!
You Guys and Gals have been my extended family for years! Oh By the way Mike I thanked
your post and "The Great and Powerful OZ" lol Do you remember?lol

You do know, of course, that having announced you're going to 'retire'... you don't actually have to. :bearhug:

Bill,I just have a lot on my plate right now...
Plus I don't want people to think this was an attention play. lol
So, I"m going to conduct a 3 month experiment. Where I keep
a journal, log Of all daily experiences... No cell phone except
for emergencies. No internet activities at all. I'm going out into
the World and Document everything I see in writing. I might take
some Photos. :bearhug::bearhug:

[AriG]

Jagman, it doesn't sound to me like you are retiring. It sounds more like you are graduating, as though you have garnered what you need to propel you to the next level of experience and it will probably be life altering in a very positive way. I have enjoyed your posts and wisdom. Best wishes to you on your journey!

[Mandala]

Jagman,I truly wish you the best on this journey. You know in your heart what you need to do and I respect that. There is always going to be another mountain to climb and you may not always get to the top of each climb, but you will learn and you will grow. You have lives to touch outside cyber-ville. So follow your arrow and may you have a superior learning journey. Your friend, Mandala.

[Mandala]

Jagman, I wish you the very best. There is always going to be an uphill battle and another mountain to climb. You know in your heart what you need to do. So leave cyber city for a while and go touch some lives. Learn and live. All the best to you.

Your friend Mandala