Need spiritual advice!!!

[justmagick]

It seems as though something was happening to break up the depression and pain in my life that I had experienced for most of my life. It seemed as if walls were finally tumbling down and things were beginning to be great for the first time in my life. I started to finally understand my part in spirituality and now it seems as though it is all crashing down and becoming like it was.
starting about a year ago I had started to experience a sense of peace that I hadn't experienced since I was a kid. it seemed as though the doom and gloom was finally letting up and my spirit was aligning with my path, but then here about four months ago everything that was hindering me previously has come back and it's taring me apart.
I want to know why this happens? it has seemed as though in the bleakest times that there is a lesson to be learned. I spent years becoming more and more suicidal to finally see some light at the end of the tunnel and see some hope. I was convinced that I was ascending. I have had all of the symptoms and then some. my question is: am I slipping back into a lower vibration again ? did something happen in the last few months that I am not aware of? I am so confused in my own spirituality once again. I thought that my search for the eternal truth had finally paid off. I was on such a high like I had never experienced in my entire life and I am scared that I am crumbling back into the wake. fear has reared it's ugly head to take over and constant constriction of faith and feeling has once again started to replace that high that I was on. that high that had me convinced that everything in my life was finally going to be alright. what can I do to counteract this negativity that is crippling me? I feel like I need a councilor, but any councilor that heard my inner most problems would probably lock me up and throw the key away for good.

[bearcow]

The road is much longer and harder than most believe. Persevere, only focus on what you can do in the present moment, and let go of any idealistic outcomes you may have envisioned for yourself. Just do your best and let everything else work itself out.

[Sueanne47]

:welcome: Hi Justmajick!

The reason why you may feel you are slipping back into depressive thoughts, is because the negative energy or entities are strengthening in you, try doing something you enjoy, do some good deeds, talking to us should lift your spirit! :flower: then.. the higher frequency/energy will come and you will feel better. Negative energy is feeding on your low vibe...and you mustnt let it win! the media & news is full of doom porn, we have to put on a united front and be kind & loving to each other to stop the crap happening.

Love & hugs :hug: :heart:

[justmagick]

:welcome: Hi Justmajick!

The reason why you may feel you are slipping back into depressive thoughts, is because the negative energy or entities are strengthening in you, try doing something you enjoy, do some good deeds, talking to us should lift your spirit! :flower: then.. the higher frequency/energy will come and you will feel better. Negative energy is feeding on your low vibe...and you mustnt let it win! the media & news is full of doom porn, we have to put on a united front and be kind & loving to each other to stop the crap happening.

Love & hugs :hug: :heart:

I had done a spirit release and actually got rid of one of them, my girlfriend is psychic at times and can see some of these things when they are happening. the other one refuesed to go and I think that he buckled down on me. maes sense, that's about when things started to go down hill again. so just start doing whatever I can to be positive again ?

[PathWalker]

Your message is transmitting openness and vulnerability.
You might be too open and your aura might attracted things elements that are not serving you.

You have the power to chose and create your reality.
Manifestation is achieved with joy and delight to create your desire, or with fear and anger to create your fears. Both are equally as effective.

All experience path will lead you on your soul path. What ever happens it is a choice you agreed with your higher soul. And it is serving your soul (not ego, nor mind).

My humble suggestion.
Practice verbal audiable affirmation that you create for yourself.
1. Affirming your spiritual sovereignty.
2. Affirming, stating and feeling your power.
3. Breaking limiting and binding soul contracts.
4. Banishing self serving entities from your existence.
5. Attracting and welcome appropriate spiritual guides to facilitate your spiritual growth.
6. Affirm your trust in your guides and your path.

In addition I suggest you attract a spiritual teacher into your life.

Also your call for help on this forum is heard and answered.
Members and guests here in PA are assisting you as you read this message. Feel and embrace the energy it will last for few weeks now.

Good luck, you deserve it.
PathWalker

[ulli]

Just think of it as a test. Like everything, this, too, shall pass.
And with each cycle you will become stronger.
Once you have tasted of that inner peace your striving to find it again will never give you rest.

That is the guarantee that life gives us, to propel us forward in our quest for certitude and happiness.
And every time we return to that precious state, we send out that frequency to the rest of the cosmos, like a stone thrown into a pond, via a ripple effect.

[Orph]

Don't use the world that you see "outside" of yourself as a measuring stick as to who you truly are. When you keep looking for stuff outside of yourself to try and justify who you really are, ...... well, it just doesn't always come out the way your ego thinks it should. Regardless of what your outside life is like, always keep on the path to your inner you. It's there. Don't give up on it.

[Justplain]

Whenever i feel down, revisiting unselfish love for all people, animals and things around me uplifts my being. It should do the same for you.

[Pam]

I too have had a lifetime of cycles of depression. It came to the point that I really lived in fear and utter despair of it. I would like to share something that has worked very well for me. My natural tendency is to resist the despair and sadness. I have put great effort in avoiding these feelings. I have tried numbing, diverting, sleeping, anger and the list goes on. These have been temporary and not really successful methods. Here is something that works quite well. Instead of avoiding the thoughts dive into them, sit with them, give them your full attention. Just open your heart to the despair. What I have found is that the depression is in many ways like a paper tiger. The actual experience of the emotions is very minimal in comparison to the fear and dread of it. I hope this makes sense to you.

I have also had 2 events and periods in my life where my consciousness was lifted to an utterly peaceful state. I don't know why or how those periods occured, but I know it is so strange to ever fall back to the depths of hell. I could go on as to what I believe is the root cause, but this technique I described will work no matter what. It also works for any other emotional state. In the end these are energetic manifestations and allowing them to manifest dissipates their energy, while suppressing them merely stores the energetic pattern within. At least that is my theory, for what it's worth.

[amor]

In addition to the above advice born of experience, there is another possibility. You would benefit by being under the care of a naturopathic physician, one who can investigate your hormone and biochemical levels and put you back on a balanced path and diet.

There are also entities which can occupy and control the human mind. Prayer, direct assault of them and practicing positive visualizations can be done simultaneously; something has to give.

[jimrich]

It seems as though something was happening to break up the depression and pain in my life that I had experienced for most of my life. It seemed as if walls were finally tumbling down and things were beginning to be great for the first time in my life. I started to finally understand my part in spirituality and now it seems as though it is all crashing down and becoming like it was. starting about a year ago I had started to experience a sense of peace that I hadn't experienced since I was a kid. it seemed as though the doom and gloom was finally letting up and my spirit was aligning with my path, but then here about four months ago everything that was hindering me previously has come back and it's taring me apart.
I've had that same experience several times where I somehow felt Saved and Free after a specific event - usually a frightening one - but, I did not realize that my ego had temporarily left me and I was my happy, joyous and free real self for a few moments. Pretty soon my ego subtly slipped back into the driver's seat and I was once again: depressed, miserable, afraid, angry, bad tempered, hopeless, tired, etc. All that had happened was I unwittingly lost my unhappy ego for a while, felt the best I'd ever felt and then my ego came back later on to ruin everything.

I want to know why this happens?
In my case, my ego is so much a part of me and was never questioned that, when it was temporarily gone, I didn't realize my joy and happiness was the absolute result of LOSING my ego and then, when my ego came back, I didn't question it or the bad feelings it was causing me so I just automatically slipped back down into depression and a lot of other bad, painful conditions without ever realizing, until now, that my ego was ruining my life. I was so used to Egoic thinking, feeling and behaving that it never occurred to me to question my own IDENTITY. So now, with the help of various teachers, I know how to examine my own identity to see who is in charge of my life - me or my ego!
Here's someone to show you how to do that: CVdsVwiRTvI
Notice how he directs the hurting Seeker to examine who is hurting which takes her back to her ego or separate self-identity and she becomes aware that she is NOT the hurting ego so her pains instantly gose away. No ego - no pain.

my question is: am I slipping back into a lower vibration again ? did something happen in the last few months that I am not aware of?
I'd say that you have somehow, unwittingly allowed the ego to take over again and make you miserable. The key to all of this is to see or know that you are NOT the ego who hurts and is depressed. You are you - a happy, comfortable, secure, pleasant, hopeful, loving and self respecting Being or Self. Your identity is NOT the egoic person. Your identity is the Real you.

I am so confused in my own spirituality once again. I thought that my search for the eternal truth had finally paid off. I was on such a high like I had never experienced in my entire life and I am scared that I am crumbling back into the wake. fear has reared it's ugly head to take over and constant constriction of faith and feeling has once again started to replace that high that I was on. that high that had me convinced that everything in my life was finally going to be alright.
That's all about a runaway ego! When you felt good, the ego was absent and when you feel bad, the ego is back in the drivers seat!

what can I do to counteract this negativity that is crippling me?
I'd examine (see the video above), in whatever way you can to see exactly who/what you are and that you are NOT AN EGO!
There are a lot of powerful teachings at Youtube to help you see that you are NOT an ego or separate 'me' and that you actually are: happiness, joy, freedom, peace, self acceptance, self love and many other positive characteristics of your Real self - the one you experienced when you felt: "as if walls were finally tumbling down and things were beginning to be great for the first time in my life."
That Real 'you' is only a breath away but it takes seeing through the false self or ego that has you by the throat and recognizing the Real self that your ego is only temporarily covering up for now.
The ego gets away with this because very few of us ever notice that our ego is NOT US. It's a false, imaginary and mentally created identity that needs to be seen through - the sooner the better.
good luck :cake:

[jimrich]

so just start doing whatever I can to be positive again ?
NO! Your ego ["the other one refuesed to go and I think that he buckled down on me".] will over take even the effort to be "positive".
You need to see or know that you are NOT that one who "refused to go" and the moment you see or realize that you are the Real you and NOT AN EGO, that "one" will leave you also.
But be warned that they can sneak back in and once more convince you that they ARE you or that you ARE them so you need to frequently examine your self to see that your ego has NOT returned.
You will FEEL the difference right away between the happy Real you and the unhappy or arrogant ego. :heart:

[jimrich]

I have also had 2 events and periods in my life where my consciousness was lifted to an utterly peaceful state. I don't know why or how those periods occured, but I know it is so strange to ever fall back to the depths of hell.
My experience of this is that, when my ego somehow temporarily stepped aside or faded into the background, I was in ecstasy and joy for a little while. I didn't realize the the absence of my oppressive, negative ego was allowing my natural and automatic joy and happiness to emerge. Then, when my ego mysteriously returned to take over, I was once again back in HELL. I was so used to the behavior and character of my ego that it never occurred to me to question my own identity as the ego so my ego quite easily slipped back in under the radar and, suddenly my joy was replaced by fear, anger, despair, bitterness, unhappiness, self loathing, fatigue, etc.
For me, the key is to see and know when I have become egotistical or selfish and then realize that I am NOT an ego.
Once I see that I am not the ego, joy and happiness automatically returns.
The thing is that, for now, my ego can easily return at any time so I have to keep on examining who/what I am from moment to moment - which is not a stressful chore - but quite easy and becoming automatic.
I often ask, "Am I me, or my ego?" If I somehow notice that I am once more dominated by an ego, I just remind myself that I AM NOT an ego and the selfish little ego just DISAPPEARS! :Party:

[Bubu]

Have you tried doing something good for someone. a stranger a poor homeless person who has no way of repaying you. Whenever I am down I went out of my way and try to find someone in need of help. Justlilkemagic my day is done. I have no explanation. I don't want to make one it simply works for me. But of course everyone is different.:bearhug:

[PathWalker]

Forgot to mention the affirmations bellow to be vocal and repeated few times a day. Including waking and sleeping.
In addition EFT is very effective in such cases to release pain and trauma generated patterns.
sP-O-_5L-cI



My humble suggestion.
Practice verbal audiable affirmation that you create for yourself.
1. Affirming your spiritual sovereignty.
2. Affirming, stating and feeling your power.
3. Breaking limiting and binding soul contracts.
4. Banishing self serving entities from your existence.
5. Attracting and welcome appropriate spiritual guides to facilitate your spiritual growth.
6. Affirm your trust in your guides and your path.

PathWalker

[Pam]

I have also had 2 events and periods in my life where my consciousness was lifted to an utterly peaceful state. I don't know why or how those periods occured, but I know it is so strange to ever fall back to the depths of hell.
My experience of this is that, when my ego somehow temporarily stepped aside or faded into the background, I was in ecstasy and joy for a little while. I didn't realize the the absence of my oppressive, negative ego was allowing my natural and automatic joy and happiness to emerge. Then, when my ego mysteriously returned to take over, I was once again back in HELL. I was so used to the behavior and character of my ego that it never occurred to me to question my own identity as the ego so my ego quite easily slipped back in under the radar and, suddenly my joy was replaced by fear, anger, despair, bitterness, unhappiness, self loathing, fatigue, etc.
For me, the key is to see and know when I have become egotistical or selfish and then realize that I am NOT an ego.
Once I see that I am not the ego, joy and happiness automatically returns.
The thing is that, for now, my ego can easily return at any time so I have to keep on examining who/what I am from moment to moment - which is not a stressful chore - but quite easy and becoming automatic.
I often ask, "Am I me, or my ego?" If I somehow notice that I am once more dominated by an ego, I just remind myself that I AM NOT an ego and the selfish little ego just DISAPPEARS! :Party:


You are 100 % correct. That is exactly what happened. The second time occurred when I was doing a mindfulness meditation. I actually felt what a physical feeling in my head. Almost a feeling of dropping off. I felt extremely peaceful, went to sleep and forgot about it. The next day I was aware of the absence of thoughts. It was freeing and exhilarating. I had so much more energy. I was never aware how much energy is spent on ruminations. Everything was fresh and new. I had a week or so of total peace. If someone said something cruel, I totally understood it was their ego and it didn't hurt in the least. Gradually the ego crept in again... but now, I know what it is and my thoughts have never had the power they used to, unless I choose to enter into the drama.

jimrich, you are the only one I have conversed with,that has had a direct experience of "enlightenment" even if it was unsustainable. Still, the experience changes the powerful position of the ego. It's like learning your closest friend is a sociopath. You might continue the relationship but will never trust that person completely again, the relationship will always be guarded.

I admire you for attempting to share the ultimate cure. I have given up trying to do so most of the time as most just don't get it, or want to get it. I have had many say,"I don't want to loose myself", if they only knew the bliss,love and joy that loosing oneself entails.

[greybeard]

I have also had 2 events and periods in my life where my consciousness was lifted to an utterly peaceful state. I don't know why or how those periods occured, but I know it is so strange to ever fall back to the depths of hell.
My experience of this is that, when my ego somehow temporarily stepped aside or faded into the background, I was in ecstasy and joy for a little while. I didn't realize the the absence of my oppressive, negative ego was allowing my natural and automatic joy and happiness to emerge. Then, when my ego mysteriously returned to take over, I was once again back in HELL. I was so used to the behavior and character of my ego that it never occurred to me to question my own identity as the ego so my ego quite easily slipped back in under the radar and, suddenly my joy was replaced by fear, anger, despair, bitterness, unhappiness, self loathing, fatigue, etc.
For me, the key is to see and know when I have become egotistical or selfish and then realize that I am NOT an ego.
Once I see that I am not the ego, joy and happiness automatically returns.
The thing is that, for now, my ego can easily return at any time so I have to keep on examining who/what I am from moment to moment - which is not a stressful chore - but quite easy and becoming automatic.
I often ask, "Am I me, or my ego?" If I somehow notice that I am once more dominated by an ego, I just remind myself that I AM NOT an ego and the selfish little ego just DISAPPEARS! :Party:


You are 100 % correct. That is exactly what happened. The second time occurred when I was doing a mindfulness meditation. I actually felt what a physical feeling in my head. Almost a feeling of dropping off. I felt extremely peaceful, went to sleep and forgot about it. The next day I was aware of the absence of thoughts. It was freeing and exhilarating. I had so much more energy. I was never aware how much energy is spent on ruminations. Everything was fresh and new. I had a week or so of total peace. If someone said something cruel, I totally understood it was their ego and it didn't hurt in the least. Gradually the ego crept in again... but now, I know what it is and my thoughts have never had the power they used to, unless I choose to enter into the drama.

jimrich, you are the only one I have conversed with,that has had a direct experience of "enlightenment" even if it was unsustainable. Still, the experience changes the powerful position of the ego. It's like learning your closest friend is a sociopath. You might continue the relationship but will never trust that person completely again, the relationship will always be guarded.

I admire you for attempting to share the ultimate cure. I have given up trying to do so most of the time as most just don't get it, or want to get it. I have had many say,"I don't want to loose myself", if they only knew the bliss,love and joy that loosing oneself entails.

Quote
The next day I was aware of the absence of thoughts. It was freeing and exhilarating. I had so much more energy. I was never aware how much energy is spent on ruminations. Everything was fresh and new. I had a week or so of total peace. If someone said something cruel, I totally understood it was their ego and it didn't hurt in the least Quote

Yes its unmistakable.

When I was on an ashram in India twenty years ago this was the case but that was not the first "experience"
There was at that time the out pouring of love for all, in addition to what has been mentioned but there was not a complete return to the former state --the ego is much quieter but it had got quieter with an earlier experience.

When Kundalini awakened before that visit to India there was a massive shift forward but it is still work in progress, the difference being I am not doing the work.

Chris

[greybeard]

Eckhart Tolle said that "The totality brings everything about"

Basically every one is exactly where they are supposed to be, if there is acceptance of this then the mind is peaceful,
Then there is no angst.

Only the ego can feel hurt.

Ramesh Balsekar said "At birth God begins to remove the ego of some---God gave you and ego let Him remove it" (Let Him--- is important)

You are the Absolute but until that is realized it is helpful to ask Divinity for help.

I have found this prayer to be of the greatest assistance.

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I can not change
Courage to change the things I can
Wisdom to know the difference"

I have come to the conclusion that the only thing I can change is my attitude to what is.

Chris.

[WhiteLove]

It seems as though something was happening to break up the depression and pain in my life that I had experienced for most of my life. It seemed as if walls were finally tumbling down and things were beginning to be great for the first time in my life. I started to finally understand my part in spirituality and now it seems as though it is all crashing down and becoming like it was.
starting about a year ago I had started to experience a sense of peace that I hadn't experienced since I was a kid. it seemed as though the doom and gloom was finally letting up and my spirit was aligning with my path, but then here about four months ago everything that was hindering me previously has come back and it's taring me apart.
I want to know why this happens? it has seemed as though in the bleakest times that there is a lesson to be learned. I spent years becoming more and more suicidal to finally see some light at the end of the tunnel and see some hope. I was convinced that I was ascending. I have had all of the symptoms and then some. my question is: am I slipping back into a lower vibration again ? did something happen in the last few months that I am not aware of? I am so confused in my own spirituality once again. I thought that my search for the eternal truth had finally paid off. I was on such a high like I had never experienced in my entire life and I am scared that I am crumbling back into the wake. fear has reared it's ugly head to take over and constant constriction of faith and feeling has once again started to replace that high that I was on. that high that had me convinced that everything in my life was finally going to be alright. what can I do to counteract this negativity that is crippling me? I feel like I need a councilor, but any councilor that heard my inner most problems would probably lock me up and throw the key away for good.

Philosophically, these are some of my ideas about it...

In my view it is near impossible to say for sure why this happens, but a theory of mine is that the higher self knows what kind of light you must pass next and to seek and hit that passage of light you might have to be in a certain position that makes you naturally seek that kind of light from that angle/perspective. It could for instance be that your higher self has received a sign from your inner being about you wanting to reach a kind of light that is not directly reachable from where you currently are and that you want to get there quickly too, hence in order to tune to this light an orchestration might be taking place that arranges things in a rather rough way because it amounts to a lot of changes that make a lot of old stuff in your consciousness surface, stuff that maybe has put a drag on you before, maybe relating to your health or similar. So in order to be able release all of that density that has been dragging you, you might have to be in a certain position/perspective/angle and then seek the light from that position/perspective/angle.

Overall I would say try to accept this situation as perfect, but pay attention to things that "are you" in your near future, could be persons, things, music, concert, movie, event etc. and be in truth towards these in order to consume the light and hence release the density you are now experiencing.

It could be that you are in the process of breaking free from some long term density and now that old stuff is surfacing and becomes more obvious in the short term. By staying within the light you have found and by seeking new light, you will move through this barrier and it will eventually fade from your consciousness.

[Innocent Warrior]

To see, observe. No understanding required. No need to figure anything out.

Be.

[greybeard]

It seems as though something was happening to break up the depression and pain in my life that I had experienced for most of my life. It seemed as if walls were finally tumbling down and things were beginning to be great for the first time in my life. I started to finally understand my part in spirituality and now it seems as though it is all crashing down and becoming like it was.
starting about a year ago I had started to experience a sense of peace that I hadn't experienced since I was a kid. it seemed as though the doom and gloom was finally letting up and my spirit was aligning with my path, but then here about four months ago everything that was hindering me previously has come back and it's taring me apart.
I want to know why this happens? it has seemed as though in the bleakest times that there is a lesson to be learned. I spent years becoming more and more suicidal to finally see some light at the end of the tunnel and see some hope. I was convinced that I was ascending. I have had all of the symptoms and then some. my question is: am I slipping back into a lower vibration again ? did something happen in the last few months that I am not aware of? I am so confused in my own spirituality once again. I thought that my search for the eternal truth had finally paid off. I was on such a high like I had never experienced in my entire life and I am scared that I am crumbling back into the wake. fear has reared it's ugly head to take over and constant constriction of faith and feeling has once again started to replace that high that I was on. that high that had me convinced that everything in my life was finally going to be alright. what can I do to counteract this negativity that is crippling me? I feel like I need a councilor, but any councilor that heard my inner most problems would probably lock me up and throw the key away for good.


I too have been in the depth of despair suicidal though that was mainly down to alcoholism.

The strange thing is that when the search for spiritual Truth is underway there will be the highs and lows---dark nights of the soul is a term for the low.

Horrendous when the low is there--I felt unloved, abandoned by God/divinity and I was sober and suicidal.

The highs and lows have revisited from time to time but they are no longer extreme--the flip flop from High to low is not so pronounced so there is balance--mini lows are accepted--mini highs appreciated.

One line that has always worked for me is "This too shall pass"
It gets easier---a year can go without a low now--I cant really remember the last one.

So this will pass.

Much Love Chris

[Pam]

Eckhart Tolle said that "The totality brings everything about"

Basically every one is exactly where they are supposed to be, if there is acceptance of this then the mind is peaceful,
Then there is no angst.

Only the ego can feel hurt.

Ramesh Balsekar said "At birth God begins to remove the ego of some---God gave you and ego let Him remove it" (Let Him--- is important)

You are the Absolute but until that is realized it is helpful to ask Divinity for help.

I have found this prayer to be of the greatest assistance.

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I can not change
Courage to change the things I can
Wisdom to know the difference"

I have come to the conclusion that the only thing I can change is my attitude to what is.

Chris.


I am so grateful for your presence on the forum, Chris. Oh yes, the Serenity prayer, the cornerstone of 12 step programs and a very worthy cornerstone....How many times have I meditated on those words that helped me accept my life and circumstances. Finding acceptance is a definite tool for getting moving beyond despair.

[Baby Steps]

We have all been there, and learned....

Nobody is totally free of it.....

With mine, part of it was self cognitive behavioural therapy.

I recognised negative spiral thought loops. If this...then this...then this..., and round they went. Inescapable logic that led to despair with no way out. Once the loop is recognised, one can find a blocker thought. Formulate, and keep for when needed.
Example: I am having a bad day, I am now in a bad mood, I am now manifesting bad responses from people etc. the blocker is that truly and logically, the flow can flip, and that day can transform, just remain open to that possibility.
The bad day experience, is just a story that we carry from the past into the now, but KNOW that it need not control your NOW.
Interactions with people: keep a 'random file' that can be dustbin shaped. If someone is being hurtful or unfair, and you do not know why, just file the experience there, it is random, you do not understand it, often something is going on that you do not understand, so just file away there without carrying the hurt.

Karma type stuff: sometimes you may feel oppressed by someone, and trapped there. Remember these people are just telling you something about who they are, not about who you are. Do not carry the hurt, truly it does not need to be carried.

Let's say you 'armour up' with some of the above defences, but still the dark feelings linger. Then remember the hormonal problem. That is, that if one is full of negativity, your brain cells have grown more receptors for this. So the past negativity lingers, but it is a thing that is slowly but surely being shed.

The entity model: you could externalise everything, and blame an entity. That would not be quite right but maybe part of the complex. You might then get into taking your sovereign power in your own space, and experience your space clearing. But then when it returns you will be left feeling powerless and fearful of the entity that defeated you. So rather think of it as one carries openings or vulnerabilities that entities can hook into. These wounds can heal. Until they heal you remain vulnerable as well as sovereign. You are sovereign, that is the law. They have to leave if told. But the wounds are an invite back in.Really these entities are our teachers as they show us where the hurts are.

Soul work: what I found is that a sense of purpose derived from interaction with the soul at a deep level, can create happiness, provided of course one then embraces the said purpose or mission. But engagement with soul in itself is healing, as is learning a bit about ones purpose, even if you feel you are failing in that purpose.

Distraction: if you are having bad feelings, the mind can flip to a different subject. Focus helps.

Shamanic: negative emotions or attacks are not fought against. They are left standing by raising your vibration. Know that this can be done.a disturbed unhappy person is seen as a potential shaman. The soul may be trying to come through but it is blocked by the rational mind. So the darkness is a sign that great growth is coming.Also there may be parts of the soul lost due to past trauma, even in previous lives. These can be called back in.

God bless

[Sueanne47]

the other one refuesed to go and I think that he buckled down on me. maes sense, that's about when things started to go down hill again

I hope we have been some help justmajick, and those demons havent taken over you...

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[jimrich]

I have also had 2 events and periods in my life where my consciousness was lifted to an utterly peaceful state. I don't know why or how those periods occured, but I know it is so strange to ever fall back to the depths of hell.
My experience of this is that, when my ego somehow temporarily stepped aside or faded into the background, I was in ecstasy and joy for a little while. I didn't realize the the absence of my oppressive, negative ego was allowing my natural and automatic joy and happiness to emerge. Then, when my ego mysteriously returned to take over, I was once again back in HELL. I was so used to the behavior and character of my ego that it never occurred to me to question my own identity as the ego so my ego quite easily slipped back in under the radar and, suddenly my joy was replaced by fear, anger, despair, bitterness, unhappiness, self loathing, fatigue, etc.
For me, the key is to see and know when I have become egotistical or selfish and then realize that I am NOT an ego.
Once I see that I am not the ego, joy and happiness automatically returns.
The thing is that, for now, my ego can easily return at any time so I have to keep on examining who/what I am from moment to moment - which is not a stressful chore - but quite easy and becoming automatic.
I often ask, "Am I me, or my ego?" If I somehow notice that I am once more dominated by an ego, I just remind myself that I AM NOT an ego and the selfish little ego just DISAPPEARS! :Party:


You are 100 % correct. That is exactly what happened. The second time occurred when I was doing a mindfulness meditation. I actually felt what a physical feeling in my head. Almost a feeling of dropping off. I felt extremely peaceful, went to sleep and forgot about it. The next day I was aware of the absence of thoughts. It was freeing and exhilarating. I had so much more energy. I was never aware how much energy is spent on ruminations. Everything was fresh and new. I had a week or so of total peace. If someone said something cruel, I totally understood it was their ego and it didn't hurt in the least. Gradually the ego crept in again... but now, I know what it is and my thoughts have never had the power they used to, unless I choose to enter into the drama.

jimrich, you are the only one I have conversed with,that has had a direct experience of "enlightenment" even if it was unsustainable. Still, the experience changes the powerful position of the ego. It's like learning your closest friend is a sociopath. You might continue the relationship but will never trust that person completely again, the relationship will always be guarded.

I admire you for attempting to share the ultimate cure. I have given up trying to do so most of the time as most just don't get it, or want to get it. I have had many say,"I don't want to loose myself", if they only knew the bliss,love and joy that loosing oneself entails.
The power of sharing meetings in therapy and in a forum is that we can offer each other our ACTUAL experiences to help each other see/feel some truths or Realities that we might not notice on our own so that is how I finally became aware of what my ego is, how it operates and a "hint" of how to deal with it - mainly by observing it and understanding that I am NOT and ego (nor a god).
The most dramatic instance of "losing" my ego was when my previous wife and I were seriously in conflict and she "staged" a heart attack whist in a park at night. We sat down on a park bench and I became so disturbed, frustrated and enraged that I just wanted to jump up run SCREAMING through that park like a crazy person but I didn't. Then a "force" or being rose up from my back (this happened once before) somewhat like a phantom or separate individual, slowly rose over my head, from behind and entered my body as my ego gradually "dissolved". I was soon in a state of utter euphoria and wanted to laugh like a loon whilst my very upset then wife sat there weeping in frustration and RAGE. I felt extremely happy, free, light, filled with humor, pleasant and just wanted to take my then wife in my arms and soothe her but waited for a moment. The strange thing is that I could "see" in the dark. It was as though a soft white light was lighting up things around us IN THE DARK! As my confidence increased I stood up, pulled my still upset wife up into my arms as she tried to "smack" me in anger but somehow, the love and joy that was now filling me soothed her down and we became OK with each other in that moment. I did not try to tell her what had just happened to me since it seemed so normal there was nothing to say and she didn't ask me why I was so "different" now. We decided to take a walk and when we got to the street, I couldn't "decide" which way to go???? She made the decision to go left so off we went and we spent the next few hours in absolute joy, wonder, happiness, fun, friendship (which was rare for us) and PLAYFUNESS. I was no longer angry or afraid and felt in complete control of my self and my now happy feelings. BUT.........towards the end of our long walk and extraordinary FUN, I began to "sink" back into confussion and "not-so-happiness" as I was "coming down" from the "high". I mentioned to her that something extraodinary had happened (hoping she'd noticed it) back in the park but now I was feeling less wonder and she became very upset once more! This made me feel very bad and guilty because I was such an A hole before, turned into an Angel and was now on my way back to being an A hole again!!!!! The next day, I felt the spiritual high that had happened in the park the previous night so I concluded that I was back "up" again but this only lasted a short while I was right back down into my customary, depressed, angry, FRIGHTENED and sour little self and that lasted for about 15 more years!!!
I wish I had known then what I so obviously know now.
When my then wife "stagged" a heart attack in the park, it scared my ego so baddly that I became completely defeated and helpless. I surrendered to the point where a "better" me rose up from my back, took over and made everything OK without changing my wife or anything other than send my frightened ego AWAY. The Real me stayed on for a while but my ego began creeping back in and I had no idea how to stop it or even recognize it so my ego slowly replaced the Real me and I went right back into my customary egoic behavior for many, many years thereafter. The pattern is so obvious to me now.
Ego out, Reality in, Ego back in again. I can't figure out why Reality allows the ego back in but that's what happened to me many times and I never noticed that, once the ego is gone, in whatever way it happens, I am so happy, thrilled, energized, LOVING, friendly, peaceful and constructive rather than destructive.
I could tell a few dozen stories of ego in, ego out, ego back in again scenarios but this one was the biggest of them all.
Somehow, I've long known that the ego is the problem but never had a reliable way to spot it and then stop it from taking me over. I may not have a handle on my ego yet but I feel a surge of confidence that I will be able to keep my ego from overwhelming me again as I'm sure it wants to. The joke is that I am the ego if and when I allow myself to become it and I am NOT the ego so long as I can spot it and then remind myself that I am NOT the ego - I am me - Reality! gotta go now......... jim

[lake]

I will just put to you the same question which was asked of me:


Still shy then?

but rather then leave it at that, I will give you a quick 'heads up'.

The last time I was 'visited' by our hosts was in the dark of night and I wasn't very happy about waking up to find a hooded and shroud wearing evil looking son of a ***k, with little bent tyrannosaurus arms wiggling around above me!

Lets just say that it has NEVER come back and I also explained to the 'rest' of our creations that I am happy to meet with them to discuss our interaction but that anything which thinks its ok to wander into my bedroom as I sleep will have reached the final limitation of it's perceived experience.

Nothing since and thats over a year or two.

What you are is truly magnificent but YOU have to accept your own nature and the total responsibility which is inherent in said nature.

So....still shy then?

Ps: Off topic but upon reading all of your posts may I just say that paragraphs make, for readers, easier eye movement!
Ta

[greybeard]

Eckhart Tolle said that "The totality brings everything about"

Basically every one is exactly where they are supposed to be, if there is acceptance of this then the mind is peaceful,
Then there is no angst.

Only the ego can feel hurt.

Ramesh Balsekar said "At birth God begins to remove the ego of some---God gave you and ego let Him remove it" (Let Him--- is important)

You are the Absolute but until that is realized it is helpful to ask Divinity for help.

I have found this prayer to be of the greatest assistance.

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I can not change
Courage to change the things I can
Wisdom to know the difference"

I have come to the conclusion that the only thing I can change is my attitude to what is.

Chris.


I am so grateful for your presence on the forum, Chris. Oh yes, the Serenity prayer, the cornerstone of 12 step programs and a very worthy cornerstone....How many times have I meditated on those words that helped me accept my life and circumstances. Finding acceptance is a definite tool for getting moving beyond despair.

Thanks my friend but we are all equal and we just bring different aspects of the One Divinity into this play.

Chris

Ps without all the help I got in AA I would not be here to tell the tale.
The other part of recovery is gratitude.
Gratitude for help and misery can not co-exist.

Chris

[Rich]

... hindering me previously has come back and it's taring me apart.
I want to know why this happens? it has seemed as though in the bleakest times that there is a lesson to be learned. I spent years becoming more and more suicidal to finally see some light at the end of the tunnel and see some hope. I was convinced that I was ascending. I have had all of the symptoms and then some. my question is: am I slipping back into a lower vibration again ?
On the spiritual path it can sometimes feel like going backwards or that all the effort we put in amounted to nothing.
What happens after a high is that a subconscious/suppressed belief (or deeper layer of the same belief) comes up for review.
If your intention is healing, these negative beliefs will come up and will make you feel miserable until they are let go of.
That’s why there is a constant up and down/highs and lows,
like Chris explained it will eventually turn into a lasting peace that is not so easily swayed.

In times of doubt I think it is helpful to remind oneself of one's true Being,
that Love exists, not as some fairy tale but as actual truth and that
God made us perfect and unchanging.

All suffering always comes down to a disbelieve in Love.

I am as God created me, there is no place where I can suffer,
and no time that can bring change to my Eternal state.
How can a world of time and space exist if I am as God created me?

[AutumnW]

Justmajick,

There are many ups and downs towards enlightment, wisdom, maturity, or whatever one calls it. The feeling of oneness and light will return. Be patient. Don't despair. Do you have friends you can talk to, go out for coffee with. Do you have parents who love you, a job that is meaningful?

Try not to lose hope. Hope is a door that we have to force open, at times.

I wish you the very very best!:bearhug:

¤=[Post Update]=¤


Your message is transmitting openness and vulnerability.
You might be too open and your aura might attracted things elements that are not serving you.

You have the power to chose and create your reality.
Manifestation is achieved with joy and delight to create your desire, or with fear and anger to create your fears. Both are equally as effective.

All experience path will lead you on your soul path. What ever happens it is a choice you agreed with your higher soul. And it is serving your soul (not ego, nor mind).

My humble suggestion.
Practice verbal audiable affirmation that you create for yourself.
1. Affirming your spiritual sovereignty.
2. Affirming, stating and feeling your power.
3. Breaking limiting and binding soul contracts.
4. Banishing self serving entities from your existence.
5. Attracting and welcome appropriate spiritual guides to facilitate your spiritual growth.
6. Affirm your trust in your guides and your path.

In addition I suggest you attract a spiritual teacher into your life.

Also your call for help on this forum is heard and answered.
Members and guests here in PA are assisting you as you read this message. Feel and embrace the energy it will last for few weeks now.

Good luck, you deserve it.
PathWalker

I have found the "saying it out loud" to be vital.

[Joey]

Your body is a frequency transmitter and receiver. It is therefore crucial for the holding of a high and clear vibration that it is not hindered in this. Maybe your body drags you down because it is struggling with a form of toxicity or malnutrition? Parasites are known to alter your toughts and feelings trough chemical excretions which mimick hormones. They can really drag you down. Heavy metal toxicity (amalgam fillings, chemtrails, foods, etc) can seriously drain your life force. Your body cant process them and stores them in your cells. There they literaly consument antioxidants, minerals and vitamins.

Dont know your situation ofcourse. But to anchor the spirit it needs a Healthy and clean vessel.

[Michi]

The story you tell is fully familiar to me.
May I offer you a profound story which perhaps resonates with yours and finally does offer you a way to get rid of the burden.
For easy reading, please download: The Magic Story by Frederick Van Rensselaer Dey (https://www.uploady.com/#!/download/tGIlhdrL5xE/LIunsFWGE6boTR57)
or view the original book (https://archive.org/stream/magicstory00deygoog#page/n10/mode/2up).

Best wishes - Michael

[justmagick]

thanks to all of you guys. you are all amazing people. I will take all of these things into account and press on. it's actually nice to know that there are so many people out there that care and have had similar situations. as of yesterday I made a list of the things that are bothering me in my life and a list of things that I can do about it. one of them was to focus my attention on other people and making them happy and another one was getting myself out of the house so I took my kids to the park and killed two birds with one stone. another thing that I have quit doing recently is quit dwelving into all of the conspiracy theory stuff for a while because constantly seeing what the world is doing is enough to depress anyone and drive them nuts. I appreciate everybodies input. another one of the things on my list was to get someone to talk to about my more elaborate spiritual problems and I couldn't think of anyone in my waking life that I can talk to ... not even my kids mom, which lives with me so how could I find a better support group than people like you. I look forward to getting to know all of you and I hope that I can contribute with all the knowledge that I have as well.

[justmagick]

The story you tell is fully familiar to me.
May I offer you a profound story which perhaps resonates with yours and finally does offer you a way to get rid of the burden.
For easy reading, please download: The Magic Story by Frederick Van Rensselaer Dey (https://www.uploady.com/#!/download/tGIlhdrL5xE/LIunsFWGE6boTR57)
or view the original book (https://archive.org/stream/magicstory00deygoog#page/n10/mode/2up).

Best wishes - Michael

I read the story devplan... pretty inspiring.

[jimrich]

another thing that I have quit doing recently is quit dwelving into all of the conspiracy theory stuff for a while because constantly seeing what the world is doing is enough to depress anyone and drive them nuts.
I too have done a lot of Conspiracy Theory checks and it makes me "nuts" that there is so little I can do about the world-wide control of these Elite Rulers so, I've decided to stop looking at their "stunts" and just live my own life the best I can for now. I will never go on a "protest march" or let the Elite have their "hit-men" murder me like they murdered JFK and his brother. It's just too big of a sickening show so I'm staying with the question: Who/what am I? .... and just let those Super Rich Elite Rulers go their own way.


I appreciate everybodies input. another one of the things on my list was to get someone to talk to about my more elaborate spiritual problems and I couldn't think of anyone in my waking life that I can talk to ... not even my kids mom, which lives with me so how could I find a better support group than people like you. I look forward to getting to know all of you and I hope that I can contribute with all the knowledge that I have as well.
LOL, I never could talk with my 1st wife about the things I cared about so I finally found an accepting group of supportive friends at 12 step Recovery meetings like: CODA, ACOA, AL-ANON, AA and some other sharing meetings where folks understand and accept each other.
You can talk with us.
Many of us both care and understand and will not criticize or judge you.
good luck, jim :cake:

[zen deik]

Parable sower of the seeds.....

[Alberto e Daniela]

Hello Justmagick,

it's good to see that you have found some good remedies for the difficult moments. One more precious antidote we have found is laughter, which can come in many forms. If you have funny friends or a good comedy movie, you're all set; if they're not readily available, we have found laughter yoga to be an excellent way to treat your body to great oxygenation and endorphins. Just look it up, there's plenty of resources to pick from, and groups to practice in several countries, but it works well if you're alone too. Find here here a moderately serious (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hf2umYCKr8) presentation by its creator, Dr. Madan Kataria. :bigsmile:

You're also searching for a deeper action, though, and, as you saw, many friends here suggest letting go of the infamous ego. To that end, it is important to learn to turn your attention inwards and get the feeling that "you are there", which is the sign that you are now the Essence; Only then you "see" the thoughts in your mind, or the postures in your body, or the feelings in your solar plexus ... and none of them is "you" since you are looking from "above".
Each time you feel inside your body, witnessing your inner processes, you are blessed by a moment of Self-Remembering, the higher state of consciousness of your Essence, your Self. Self-Remembering is unmistakable, because you always realize when it comes (that exhilarating moment when, again, you "are!"), but you never realize when it has ended (because when it ends you have ceased to exist psychologically: your ego has taken over again and you are identified with some thought, feeling, posture).
Self Remembering makes it easier to separate yourself from unwanted, gloomy thoughts and feelings, and with training, is like psychic aikido: they just can't get you, you shake them off in no time.

To get rid of parasites, a really great resource is MMS. Have you seen the interview with Jim Humble (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGjUp1zoov8)? Protocols for a general cleansing are available from the so called Genesis II Church (https://genesis2church.is).

We don't write much here, as we are also going through a very rough period but every now and then we can raise our head, and then it's good to exchange experiences with our friends of Avalon.

Wishing you and your family all the best!! :star::star::star:

[AutumnW]

thanks to all of you guys. you are all amazing people. I will take all of these things into account and press on. it's actually nice to know that there are so many people out there that care and have had similar situations. as of yesterday I made a list of the things that are bothering me in my life and a list of things that I can do about it. one of them was to focus my attention on other people and making them happy and another one was getting myself out of the house so I took my kids to the park and killed two birds with one stone. another thing that I have quit doing recently is quit dwelving into all of the conspiracy theory stuff for a while because constantly seeing what the world is doing is enough to depress anyone and drive them nuts. I appreciate everybodies input. another one of the things on my list was to get someone to talk to about my more elaborate spiritual problems and I couldn't think of anyone in my waking life that I can talk to ... not even my kids mom, which lives with me so how could I find a better support group than people like you. I look forward to getting to know all of you and I hope that I can contribute with all the knowledge that I have as well.

I am so happy that you have found some fairly easy and practical things you can do to feel better. And yes, I hear you about the conspiracy stuff and taking a break from it. Take a good long break because being holed up alone reading depressing stuff that you can't necessarily change, is a recipe for depression. It's interesting and compelling but can be almost habit forming.

After 911, I described what happened as a double hijacking-- the planes--and my brain. I thought about the conspiracy for years and wrote thousands upon thousands of posts about it, on different forums. It was morbidly fascinating but ultimately I chose to salvage what was left of my brain and move on.

The visual stimulus of getting out and going to the park has a positive brain hormone effect. Cabin fever can creep up in increments. When I am too weak to walk, I have my significant other drive me around. Otherwise a mild form of agitation from lack of visual stimulation throughout the day keeps me awake at night.

Lastly I just want to add when I looked at your post, for the first time, the sentence,"I went to the park and killed two birds with one stone," had me concerned. I thought briefly, that you went to the park and killed a couple of ducks!!:bigsmile:

[jimrich]

we have found laughter yoga to be an excellent way to treat your body to great oxygenation and endorphins. Find here here a moderately serious (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hf2umYCKr8) presentation by its creator, Dr. Madan Kataria. :bigsmile:

I love that link! It reminds me of the concept that Happiness is a Choice where a person simply chooses to be happy FOR NO REASON! And if and when the happiness leaves, you can just choose it again and again as you like.
Same with Laughter - do it again and again and again!!!
:heart:

[branney]

Hi justmagick.

Firstly, everything happens in cycles. There are several frequencies you hold, and each affects what you manifest.
When you are on a certain frequency, or a harmonic of it, you will tend to manifest experiences aligned to those.
There will always be a small amount of crossover with discordant frequencies, so for a tiny amount of time they can manifest.
Every so often, there will be several of your frequencies crossing over with other ones at the same time (actually it can be frequent if you look at ALL crossovers, but if we are only discussing crossovers with specific lower so-called-negative frequencies then it could be said to be rare).

For those entities looking to steal your energy, this is their opportunity. You won't overlap for long, so they have to try to bring your frequency down, so you can stay with them longer. Often, they will make an attempt, and hold back a little so they can add more pressure/fear just as you are trying to break out. By taking your attention back to the fear, they win this small battle, since you create your own reality. All they can try to do is get you to create the next while of your reality (or as long as they possibly can) in alignment with them.

Since you are infinite, and most of those beings are not, they are only concerned with stealing energy in the now, to survive a little longer. If you don't let them, they have to move on to somebody else, whatever is the easiest target for them. Some of them can attach onto only one food source at a time, some can use several.

Don't concern yourself that by brushing them off they will go onto someone else. That is just the natural order. By refusing to feed them you make them less powerful. Some of the beings get sufficient energy from feeding that they can trick or make sub-conscious suggestions to those infinite beings they have attached to, and therefore cause those infinite beings to manifest a dark reality.

Remember, you can still manifest your own higher reality. The only difference here is that the manifestations of those other infinite beings persists a little bit longer. On a low vibratory plane such as the physical, things can persist for long enough that people are not even aware of laws of karma/manifestation. That's why it is easy to trap people into negativity on this physical plane. When people try to shift up a level, by the time the reaping of their efforts comes around, they assume it was just a random happening, and not connected to their own vibration! Similarly, people getting hit with their own negative karma are not aware they created it, due to the time delay.

My own thoughts are that the higher your vibratory rate, the less time delay there is. Therefore, it is perhaps quite fortunate in a way to learn the lessons on a relatively low plane such as the physical. Perhaps it smooths out both the good and the bad. After all, "be careful what you wish for" and all that ;)

[Anjani]

Maybe it is a sign from the loving universe that you're having some things too less and some things too much or some things are out of place that made you lose your inner balance. That it is time to remeasure or to put back all the pieces in its righteous place again in order to find balance again. The key is to be honest to yourself about yourself aand what you have become, of who you are. In regards with positive and negative thinking or action that you've done, deliberately or not in order to find the problems and overcome them so you can at last make peace with yourself again. After that I usualy try to do good deeds as much as I can so at least I can feel good about myself. Maybe it is selfish but it is always a good start in distracting yourself from the thoughts of attempting suicide (been there done that, after my third attempt, i was finaly realize that if G O D dont want want me dead yet that He must have something good for me later on in my life, I'll just have to hang on until that something good comes and it turned out that I might do more than just hanging on). So chin up and cheer up. Later on you might find out that this world and life has too much tricks on their sleeves to toss us out of the game meanwhile the truth is everything will be and shall be considered and addrressed the same. Sadness, happiness, truth, lies, love, hate, sucsess, failure, etc. They're all one and the same, like two sides of a coin. And that it was never about them but about how we deal with them. Like a stream of a river, sometimes some people throw rocks on it and create ripples, it is okay, as long as the current still flow consistenly and as long as the source is not diaturbed. I hope you get what i mean.