The Gray Rock Method of Dealing With Psychopaths

[christian]

I just saw this in my Facebook feed, shared by the libertarian lawyer and author Stephan Kinsella.

The article describes a very elegant trick to disentangle from psychopaths. It's more than just trying to force distance between yourself and the psychopath by turning the other way. Rather you play their game like a wise and ethical psychopath yourself. You respond to their attempts to influence and manipulate you, but in a way that is wholly unsatisfying to them and that will naturally make them lose interest in you. You need strong nerves to pull this off for sure, but well executed I believe this is very efficient.



http://180rule.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/rocks2-300x199.jpg


Gray Rock Method


When dealing with malignant narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, borderlines, drama queens, stalkers and other emotional vampires, it’s commonly advised that no response is the best response to unwanted attention. This is often true and No Contact (the avoidance of all communication) should be used whenever possible.

There are some situations however, when No Contact is not feasible, as in when you share child custody with a psychopath. As another example, if you are being stalked by an ex, a restraining order can infuriate the unwanted suitor, and refusing to respond to him or her is seen as an insult. They might become convinced that they can MAKE you respond and in that way satiate their need for power over you.

Furthermore, many of us have tried to end a relationship with a psychopath several times, only to take them back, each time. They turned on the pity ploy and the charm, and because we didn’t understand that this is what a psychopath does, we fell for their promises to change. They know all of our emotional hooks. For them, it’s easy and fun to lure us back by appealing to our emotions. But a psychopath can’t change. In fact, when you leave a psychopath, he becomes determined to punish you even more severely for thinking you could be autonomous.

Even if we don’t take them back, the most dangerous time for a person is when they first break up with a psychopath. The psychopath feels rage at being discarded. Losing control or power over a person is not just a narcissistic injury for them; they feel profoundly empty when their partner leaves them — even if they had intended to kill their partner. The reason is because they have lost control. Psychopaths need to feel in control at all times.

For all these situations, we have The Gray Rock Method.

For full details, please read more here:


https://180rule.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/2 (https://180rule.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/2)






Mod note from Bill: the original long and complete post above was abbreviated by request of the copyright owner.
The principles referenced in the source article, freely available at the link above, are extremely interesting and may be of great importance to some readers.

[Omi]

Hey Christian, it's nice to see you around here again, and to read through your insightful thread, thanks for this :)

I can see why you've picked up this specific article that appeared on your Facebook news feed. In fact I was just talking about this topic with a close friend earlier today, how it seems like a shared experience that many people are having particularly at recent times in the past few weeks or so, at least among the people that my friend and I know of, and contemplating on the possibility that it could be something that's more dominant in our current collective consciousness.

This Grey Rock method on how to deal with psychopaths is good information to have, but I feel that the concern should rather be brought onto the issue of why the psychopaths are the way how they are to begin with - what's caused them to be psychopathic - and to find ways in helping them overcome this behavior of wanting drama.

I'm interested in hearing further thoughts on this topic, and if anyone has/ had any personal experience with a psychopath, how it is/ was for you.

[Bubu]

could it be that the rise in the number of sociopaths is due to society programming which hinder the individual to express self freely thus life becomes boring and needs to have activity/drama, could it be that sociopathy a form of escapism and the most difficult if not impossible to cure. see Turiyas society programming post on this thread. http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?97017-So-as-not-to-derail-or-hijack-the-Robert-David-Steel-thread...&p=1145007#post1145007

[The Freedom Train]

could it be that the rise in the number of sociopaths is due to society programming which hinder the individual to express self freely thus life becomes boring and needs to have activity/drama

Demonic possession

[AutumnW]

Brilliant. Thank you for this article. Psychopathy is loosely correlated with higher testosterone levels and 'warrior genes.' In the past a lot of these guys probably got bumped off in major conflicts and wars. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street or in prison.

They are the fearless sensation seekers, the trail blazers, when brought up in the right atmosphere. Our society lacks the components that would act as counterweights to their own personality constructs. So now we have a proliferation of these genes in our gene pool and no great wars to reduce their numbers.

[Mike]

..only problem is that youre gonna bore yourself to death too.:)

the sociopath and psychopath force you to react. even if you react by acting bored, youre still reacting. theres no way around it..

..so i say have some fun with it! i prefer to confound with sarcasm and absurd double talk. things like that.

these psychopaths are like habitual robots. they simply act. theres no reflection. some are only dimly aware of the power games theyre playing. still, its fun to point out that you know exactly what theyre doing and why. in general this will sap some of their energy and motivation. not all, but some

i prefer to finish the job thru humiliation and mild degradation. this may seem cruel, but its effective....and at the end of the day its either them or you. its a battle. they know no mercy, so you cant either. it may not be pleasant, but no fight ever is really. look, if someone is in front of you hitting you, and youre backed into a corner, you better fight back just as vigorously or youre gonna get lumped up.

my sister is dealing with a textbook narcissist right now. ex husband. maybe even a sociopath. he'll send these absurd text messages over designed to upset her (theyre sharing custody of a daughter, so they have to interact). sometimes she'll ask how she should reply, and i'll give her what i think is a brilliant line or 2...something devastating and clever. usually she wont use it, saying it will only make things worse. and it might, at least at first. but with every exchange won, you take a little bite out of the bastard. see its like boxing. the aggressive, reckless boxer comes out swinging.. and the calm, clever boxer makes him pay with stinging counter punches. this aggravates and frustrates the aggressive boxer. he gets enraged....and gets more and more reckless and aggressive. finally in the middle to late rounds he slows down...he's tired of being hit. he looks pathetic and defeated. he's not coming forward anymore. now its target practice. you have a little fun and then you knock them out...

..thats how you handle these people: you let them punch themselves out. then you go in for the kill.

it sounds cruel but its actually the kindest thing you could do for someone like this. its the only thing that might make them stop and question their behavior.

trump is a good example. he may be a sociopath himself, but did you see how he confounded all those other sociopaths in those debates??? it was brilliant. ive still got poor jeb bush's pathetic defeated face etched into my mind. trump was unpredictable. he was condescending. he was sarcastic. he was funny! and last but not least, he had more energy than them. he outlasted them. and thats exactly how you do it

[Foxie Loxie]

Well, Mike, I think the key word you said here is "energy"! If one has no "energy" left, complete withdrawal is a good option! Why waste what little energy one has on a situation that will never change? Guess I learned that the hard way!! :idea:

By the way it's snowing here today! :highfive:

[Shannon]

Mike looks at this the way I do, Maybe I'm a tad psycho, cause I wouldn't play grey rock for anyone....but, (and I'm guessing, he knows this too) that not everyone is able to Counterpunch with clever and quick wit to damage someone's ego. And when they do come up with the perfect replies it's hours later and stale.


And I can't even begin to imagine what damage Mike's clever counter attacks may bring....Mike has Razor sharp wit.

Lmao...Jeb!

"Yeah you're a tough guy, jeb "...trump. :D


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yHckRTkcZg


All jokes aside, I've been around my fair share of psychos. I have true dislike, and have even felt that raw feeling of hatred towards them instinctively.
Grey rock may be a needed solution but I would add numbers. There's safety in numbers. Do not isolate yourself. The more grey rocks the better. :)

[Mark (Star Mariner)]

Great insights. I believe psychopathy, narcissim, this sort of character trait, goes beyond mere psychology. Exchanges of energy actually take place here. Call it psychic or whatever. But essentially a psychopath is a vampire feeding itself with other's people's emotional energy. By their actions, their drama, and their abuses, they stir up this energy for their own (negatively) psychic nourishment. This grey rock trick could be an excellent tool to fend them off. Shut up emotional shop and they have nothing to feed off. Hungry, they will seek elsewhere.

[conk]

I'm a little confused. Are you saying we should throw gray rocks at our Congressmen? At our world leaders? At corporate CEOs. Wonderful, I'm running down to the creek just now! The smooth ones fly truer and straighter! ;)

[PurpleLama]

..only problem is that youre gonna bore yourself to death too.:)

the sociopath and psychopath force you to react. even if you react by acting bored, youre still reacting. theres no way around it..

..so i say have some fun with it! i prefer to confound with sarcasm and absurd double talk. things like that.

these psychopaths are like habitual robots. they simply act. theres no reflection. some are only dimly aware of the power games theyre playing. still, its fun to point out that you know exactly what theyre doing and why. in general this will sap some of their energy and motivation. not all, but some

i prefer to finish the job thru humiliation and mild degradation. this may seem cruel, but its effective....and at the end of the day its either them or you. its a battle. they know no mercy, so you cant either. it may not be pleasant, but no fight ever is really. look, if someone is in front of you hitting you, and youre backed into a corner, you better fight back just as vigorously or youre gonna get lumped up.

my sister is dealing with a textbook narcissist right now. ex husband. maybe even a sociopath. he'll send these absurd text messages over designed to upset her (theyre sharing custody of a daughter, so they have to interact). sometimes she'll ask how she should reply, and i'll give her what i think is a brilliant line or 2...something devastating and clever. usually she wont use it, saying it will only make things worse. and it might, at least at first. but with every exchange won, you take a little bite out of the bastard. see its like boxing. the aggressive, reckless boxer comes out swinging.. and the calm, clever boxer makes him pay with stinging counter punches. this aggravates and frustrates the aggressive boxer. he gets enraged....and gets more and more reckless and aggressive. finally in the middle to late rounds he slows down...he's tired of being hit. he looks pathetic and defeated. he's not coming forward anymore. now its target practice. you have a little fun and then you knock them out...

..thats how you handle these people: you let them punch themselves out. then you go in for the kill.

it sounds cruel but its actually the kindest thing you could do for someone like this. its the only thing that might make them stop and question their behavior.

trump is a good example. he may be a sociopath himself, but did you see how he confounded all those other sociopaths in those debates??? it was brilliant. ive still got poor jeb bush's pathetic defeated face etched into my mind. trump was unpredictable. he was condescending. he was sarcastic. he was funny! and last but not least, he had more energy than them. he outlasted them. and thats exactly how you do it

Going head to head with these personality types has only ever caused them to double down, in my experience.

[AutumnW]

The grey rock is most effective when dealing with people who get off on drama. The dramatic personality disorders, cluster B's. it's fun to make sport of them, but it can backfire.

To effectively deal with a covert predator, though, you have to launch an offensive that defeats them utterly amd gives them little or zero opportunity to retaliate without blowing their cover. And this should only be done from a distance.

You study, study, study. Read Sun Tsu's Art of War. Maintain quiet and calm. Strike when the enemy is least expecting it. And you aim right for the ego. Make them writhe with feelings of inadequacy that they wom't be able to ever completely rid themselves of. Do it privately, if possible. Involve as few people as you can.

They are not 'hurting deep down inside.' They are not fear based. Their personalities are structured around aggression, competition, ambition and EGO. They feel they are superior, the next step in evolution.

[AutumnW]

..only problem is that youre gonna bore yourself to death too.:)

the sociopath and psychopath force you to react. even if you react by acting bored, youre still reacting. theres no way around it..

..so i say have some fun with it! i prefer to confound with sarcasm and absurd double talk. things like that.

these psychopaths are like habitual robots. they simply act. theres no reflection. some are only dimly aware of the power games theyre playing. still, its fun to point out that you know exactly what theyre doing and why. in general this will sap some of their energy and motivation. not all, but some

i prefer to finish the job thru humiliation and mild degradation. this may seem cruel, but its effective....and at the end of the day its either them or you. its a battle. they know no mercy, so you cant either. it may not be pleasant, but no fight ever is really. look, if someone is in front of you hitting you, and youre backed into a corner, you better fight back just as vigorously or youre gonna get lumped up.

my sister is dealing with a textbook narcissist right now. ex husband. maybe even a sociopath. he'll send these absurd text messages over designed to upset her (theyre sharing custody of a daughter, so they have to interact). sometimes she'll ask how she should reply, and i'll give her what i think is a brilliant line or 2...something devastating and clever. usually she wont use it, saying it will only make things worse. and it might, at least at first. but with every exchange won, you take a little bite out of the bastard. see its like boxing. the aggressive, reckless boxer comes out swinging.. and the calm, clever boxer makes him pay with stinging counter punches. this aggravates and frustrates the aggressive boxer. he gets enraged....and gets more and more reckless and aggressive. finally in the middle to late rounds he slows down...he's tired of being hit. he looks pathetic and defeated. he's not coming forward anymore. now its target practice. you have a little fun and then you knock them out...

..thats how you handle these people: you let them punch themselves out. then you go in for the kill.

it sounds cruel but its actually the kindest thing you could do for someone like this. its the only thing that might make them stop and question their behavior.

trump is a good example. he may be a sociopath himself, but did you see how he confounded all those other sociopaths in those debates??? it was brilliant. ive still got poor jeb bush's pathetic defeated face etched into my mind. trump was unpredictable. he was condescending. he was sarcastic. he was funny! and last but not least, he had more energy than them. he outlasted them. and thats exactly how you do it

Going head to head with these personality types has only ever caused them to double down, in my experience.

Once they identify you as an enemy, they will double down -- particularly if they are psychopathic. Narcissists aren't quite as committed, but still, co-parenting a child with a narcissist, I would be very careful. :blackwidow:

[Mike]

..only problem is that youre gonna bore yourself to death too.:)

the sociopath and psychopath force you to react. even if you react by acting bored, youre still reacting. theres no way around it..

..so i say have some fun with it! i prefer to confound with sarcasm and absurd double talk. things like that.

these psychopaths are like habitual robots. they simply act. theres no reflection. some are only dimly aware of the power games theyre playing. still, its fun to point out that you know exactly what theyre doing and why. in general this will sap some of their energy and motivation. not all, but some

i prefer to finish the job thru humiliation and mild degradation. this may seem cruel, but its effective....and at the end of the day its either them or you. its a battle. they know no mercy, so you cant either. it may not be pleasant, but no fight ever is really. look, if someone is in front of you hitting you, and youre backed into a corner, you better fight back just as vigorously or youre gonna get lumped up.

my sister is dealing with a textbook narcissist right now. ex husband. maybe even a sociopath. he'll send these absurd text messages over designed to upset her (theyre sharing custody of a daughter, so they have to interact). sometimes she'll ask how she should reply, and i'll give her what i think is a brilliant line or 2...something devastating and clever. usually she wont use it, saying it will only make things worse. and it might, at least at first. but with every exchange won, you take a little bite out of the bastard. see its like boxing. the aggressive, reckless boxer comes out swinging.. and the calm, clever boxer makes him pay with stinging counter punches. this aggravates and frustrates the aggressive boxer. he gets enraged....and gets more and more reckless and aggressive. finally in the middle to late rounds he slows down...he's tired of being hit. he looks pathetic and defeated. he's not coming forward anymore. now its target practice. you have a little fun and then you knock them out...

..thats how you handle these people: you let them punch themselves out. then you go in for the kill.

it sounds cruel but its actually the kindest thing you could do for someone like this. its the only thing that might make them stop and question their behavior.

trump is a good example. he may be a sociopath himself, but did you see how he confounded all those other sociopaths in those debates??? it was brilliant. ive still got poor jeb bush's pathetic defeated face etched into my mind. trump was unpredictable. he was condescending. he was sarcastic. he was funny! and last but not least, he had more energy than them. he outlasted them. and thats exactly how you do it

Going head to head with these personality types has only ever caused them to double down, in my experience.



yes, they will double down....at first.

i used the boxing analogy earlier. the sociopath and psychopath are like the boxer that always moves forward, swinging wildly. you may be moving backwards initially as theyre doubling and tripling down, but youre still picking them off with crisp punches and frustrating them. and most importantly, youre being more economical with your attacks and using wayyyyy less energy.

(note: i just watched the entire ali/foreman fight again last night. that fight is a wonderful metaphor for so many things...this being one i think)

they will identify you as the enemy alright, but theyll also soon identify you as the enemy they can't beat....if you do it right.

to be fair, its kind of hard to explain exactly what it is i do. much of it is spontaneous. i think Shannon is right - it might take a certain personality to do it. i dunno. i only know its worked for me.

i find that it works quicker than the greyrock method. it might take half a year to shake a sociopath that way...or longer. youre boring them, sure..but youre also boring yourself. you have to act boring so often that after a while you *become* boring. all thru my 20's id find a sales job or a common laborers job, and inevitably quit after 4-6 months. some of the sales jobs were quite lucrative (by my standards anyway) and people - my Dad especially - were exasperated when i'd quit. theyd ask why and i could never really answer them. i wasnt self aware enough then to articulate it. but looking back, the reason id quit those jobs was because i intuitively felt i was *becoming* the sleazy sales guy...i was *becoming* the dull laborer. over time it just happens; you cant stop it. if you act like a bore for a long period of time, youll become one....and even if you shake the psychopath, itll take you even longer to shed this new boring identity

thats my take anyway

[Frances2014]

Thank you.

In a study by a psychology professor, it was found that 70% of students in psychology at universities were psychopaths.
Is it true? Is that why they drug people who struggle with a spiritual experience?

The medical/psychological are changing the definitions the more the epidemic narcissists grows.
Psyche means the SELF. Psychopath means -pathy for sickness of the psyche/SELF.

Psychopath/sociopath/narcissist, ect... all the spectrum of the narcissist personality of people who want to CONTROL others while having no responsability for themselves in their abusive behaviors.

It seems they mirror the vulnerability of people with deception, pretending love or friendship to get what they want, money, sex, or anything else that they need but it is always about control, about feeling superior, smarter because there is not an authentic self, there inside them.
They get abusive to anchor the trauma bond to their victim alternating from good to bad behaviors like the pavlov experiment shows.

Since this is avalon, I can say, I feel that they have the genetic interference pattern of the reptilian mindgame pre-programmed quantum elite/slave systematization.

This is hollywood, banksters, men-in-black stuff, as well as the emotional and/or physical abuser of/as, the parent, sibling, friend, coworker, spouse, children, ect...

So yes, I am working on GREY ROCK in my daily life as well as my research of the worldy realm. It not easy,
I much prefer NO CONTACT, but it it not possible to live a psychopath free life in this period of transition.

The good news is those of us with emotional intelligence, such as empathy, compassion, understanding, we are getting wise to the abuse of the WBG (wannabegod) or narcissic persona.

CPTSD, complex post traumatic syndrom disorder is what every empathic child suffers from because of dysfunctional families and communities, all over the planet of rape, torture and war, from physical, emotional mental abuses.

Very few humans live in a safe and sane environment that the human child needs to develop his/her emotional intelligence. This is where why we are headed as a species over the next generations. We work as an individual, as a spiritual activist but also as a collective with the vibrations of equality that our inner selves radiate as a multidimensional SELF.

Tipping the scale of less psychopathic behavior, towards more empathic behavior, breath by breath...