20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey [Archive] - Page 2

RunningDeer

4th July 2022, 14:32

7 Predictable Ways Narcissists Will Contradict Themselves

Dr. Les Carter: I hold on the notion that says truth has a way of rising to the surface over time.

I’m worthy of your trust. (You keep secrets. You don’t share about yourself. You talk about others behind their back. You don’t maintain confidentiality.)
I’m an appealing person. People really admire me. (Superficiality. They know how to work an audience.)
You’d be a better person if you took my advice. (Criticism. Super-imposing. Implication is control.)
I’ve overcome lots of obstacles. (Masters of blame shifting. They don’t want anyone to know they hurt. They declare themselves healed.)
I don’t really have anger issues. (Criticism is an easy give away for a person that’s sitting on a lot of anger. In real time, they can be agitated and irritable and rage. And turn around and say they don’t have anger issues. It’s just frustrations. It’s alway someone else fault that caused it.)
I’ve done so many nice things for you. - (Score boarders. I’m an entitled person. I’ve earned it.)
I have quite a bit of depth. - (Portrays themselves as insightful, deep thinker, or has great awareness and insight. It’s just Intellectualizations that don’t filter down to the real heart level. It doesn’t translate into character development.)

Their predictable contradictions imply or reveal:

An absence of insight
Master of posturing
Inclined to suppress anger
Master of self promotions
Internal character development is not strong
Skilled at compartmentalization

7 Predictable Ways Narcissists Will Contradict Themselves (13:46 min)

Surviving Narcissism (https://www.youtube.com/c/SurvivingNarcissism/videos)

Operating with low honesty and self-awareness, narcissists think they can fool you into believing they are something they are not. Dr. Les Carter points out 7 of the most common ways they will contradict themselves in that effort. Once you see their tactics, you can become poised to adjust wisely.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

full summary and links (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlyRGztyuQY)

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RunningDeer

4th July 2022, 16:16

Predatory Narcissists (13 min)

Dr. Les Carter :”Recognize when you're with a predatory narcissist you indeed are prey. Your uniqueness is a nuisance. Your distinctives (characteristics) get in their way. You have value only in proportion to your immediate utility toward them. You will occupy the subordinate position as you engage with them. Your protest to them only prove that you need to be indoctrinated even more so. Your worth is a commodity that a narcissist thinks they can give or remove based on how well you're living up to that. Respect is a one-way street only. And if you try to break away you will be punished.

A predatory narcissists views and indicators:

Individuals are objects to collect
They seek dominance and ownership
Sees honesty as a psychological toy
They make frequent use of ’bread crumbing’, i.e. friendly manipulation
They give off an air of confidence but it’s found at others’ expense.
They don’t seek relationships. They seek your loyalty and conformity.
Very thin-skinned when you are different
They emphasize duty and obligation
Power and authority is their heroin
They use shame and guilt to keep you in line
They portray the attitude: “I’m worthy. You’re not worthy.”
They make a lot of requests that become demands
Anger very readily follows when they don’t get what they want. Anger is in the form of aggression, passive aggression, resentment, holds grudges
Over time friendliness gives way to cold, calloused demands

Narcissists approach relationships as predators. They wonder: “Who out there can I prey upon as I seek to meet my needs?“ As a result, they are inclined to manipulate and use people as they pursue their entitled cravings. Dr. Les Carter offers ways to identify this mindset so you can take proper precautions to stay out of their clutches.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

DrLesCarter.com (http://drlescarter.com/)
YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/c/DrLesCarter/videos)
Bookstore (https://survivingnarcissism.tv/books-on-narcissism-surviving-narcissism/)
Full summary and links (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_nQ7BoR_34)

6_nQ7BoR_34

onawah

5th July 2022, 19:15

What Dr. Ramani thinks about your comments about "truth tellers"
78,537 views Sep 17, 2020
6K
DoctorRamani
1.07M subscribers
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(That first video about truth tellers really hit home for me, and apparently a lot of other viewers as well, as it got a lot of comments.

When the truth teller grows up
148,822 views Sep 14, 2021
12K
DoctorRamani
1.07M subscribers
https://youtube.com/watch?v=XRuWd7cpx5Y

RunningDeer

8th July 2022, 01:11

A Narcissist's Top 10 Gaslighting Comments

July 7, 2022
SurvivingNarcissism.tv (https://survivingnarcissism.tv)
Surviving Narcissism YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/c/SurvivingNarcissism)

A goal of the narcissist is to keep you feeling confused about how you feel, what you think, or how you interpret circumstances. In other words, they have an ongoing penchant toward gaslighting. Dr. Les Carter identifies ten of their most common gaslighting comments, and as you develop an acute awareness of their schemes, you can stay unhooked from their manipulations.

To read the article version of this topic, please go to - uSrvivingNarcissism.tv (https://survivingnarcissism.tv/a-narcissists-top-10-gaslighting-comments/). (also added below)

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A Narcissist’s Top 10 Gaslighting Comments

The pattern of narcissism is defined by the need to control you, to maintain an edge of superiority, to manipulate and exploit, and to minimize your emotions and perceptions. Being unnaturally self-absorbed, narcissists constantly look for ways to maintain an angle over you.

One of their favorite tactics is gaslighting, a proactive attempt to create confusion within you and to interpret events for the specific purpose of maximizing the narcissist’s psychological dominance. The goal of the gaslighting narcissist is to wear down your resolve, to diminish your confidence in your perceptions, and to establish themselves as the ultimate arbitrator of correctness.

Your independent thinking threatens a narcissist, so if they can succeed in making you look or feel foolish, or if they can prompt you to doubt your version of events, they presumably win. So, with that in mind, let’s identify ten of the most common gaslighting comments you will hear from a narcissist. Being aware of their psychological tricks, you will be less susceptible to collapsing under their controlling efforts.

Their top ten:

“I’m just trying to help.” Very commonly, narcissists will become critical, bossy, intrusive, and invalidating. When you call them out, they can feign innocence by insisting that their directives mean to be for good. If you deem their “helpfulness” unnecessary, that implies you are unappreciative.

“Who told you that?” When you offer your separate perspective to the narcissist, there is a very low likelihood that a fair-minded exchange will ensue. Instead, the narcissist will look for someone to scapegoat. You clearly have been misinformed, so it is essential (to the narcissist) to cast dispersions upon your sources of information.

“I’m sorry if I offended you.” (No, they are not.) This is the classic non-apology apology. When a problem has occurred, they put the focus onto your presumed fragility. The implied message is that you are thin-skinned and have poor interpretation skills. They may as well say, “It’s too bad you can’t handle the truth, as defined by me.”

(Huff…sigh). Without words, the narcissist can heave hot air, as if to say: “I don’t even know what to say right now…you are so off base.” When you point out their rudeness, they can deny the problem, reminding you they have actually said nothing.

“No one does more for you than me.” At times narcissists will indeed perform favors or act cooperatively, but later you learn they are collecting chips. Then, if you express frustration, they will cash in those chips with the insinuation that you are in their debt or that you are an ingrate. Of course, the frustration is not addressed, and that is the narcissist’s goal.

“You’re the one who has issues.” Let’s suppose the narcissist is completely inappropriate and you draw attention to it. While that person may not deny the wrongdoing directly, they may shift gears by pointing out when you have been in the wrong. Or they may insinuate that if they erred, you caused it. Then they take delight as you start defending yourself. (They are off the hook at that point.)

“You are so argumentative.” (or controlling, or stubborn, or defensive, etc.) To keep themselves off the hot seat, narcissists will project onto you what they refuse to adjust within themselves. They reason that if they accuse first, your counter-arguments will fall flat.

“I was really stressed out.” Sometimes narcissists cannot deny their errors, so they will fall back onto the vague complaint that stress made them act ineffectively. Never mind that everyone has some measure of stress…this comment implies that you do not have the right to hold them accountable.

“You did well, but…” Sometimes your excellence cannot be denied, but even then, narcissists cannot let you have the positive spotlight. They can minimize you by offering a compliment with a caveat. For instance: “You did well, but you had lots of help along the way,” or “You did well, but the task wasn’t that complicated.”

“Let’s get together soon when we have more time to talk.” Narcissists can be aware that some situations deserve a full discussion so clear minds can prevail. But they also know that if they enter those discussions, they may have to make concessions. So, they pretend they are willing to hear you out, but later it’s obvious they never intended to have the conversation. This comment is a prelude to you being ghosted.

But wait, there’s more

These are just ten of the most common gaslighting comments you’ll hear from a narcissist…the number of comments is limited only by the narcissist’s limits for speaking in half-truths, disguised accusations, and veiled insults. Make no mistake, their gaslighting is a form of abuse. It is a projection of their own unfinished psychological tension onto you. It illustrates how they utterly despise taking responsibility for their flaws. And it is a covert way of gaining mind control over you.

Your challenge is to become keenly aware of the narcissist’s tactics. And as you do, you can choose instead to consult your own inner voice. The narcissist does not want you to trust yourself, yet as you know yourself to be a person of integrity, committed to growth, self-trust is entirely appropriate.

Don’t allow the narcissist to slyly bully you into subordination. When possible, remove that person from your inner circle of advisors, then act upon your good intuitions.

~Les Carter, Ph.D.

RunningDeer

11th July 2022, 16:34

The Biggest Lie A Narcissist Uses To Keep You Down (12 min)

July 11, 2022
SurvivingNarcissism.tv (https://survivingnarcissism.tv)
Surviving Narcissism YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/c/SurvivingNarcissism)

"I want to begin today with a reminder that narcissists obviously have a vested interest in trying to be in control over you. They're very selfish. They’re very entitled. They have a penchant towards manipulation but all of that is built upon a fear-based insecurity. Deep down they don't have a whole lot of inner strength to draw upon so they draw their strength from what they consider to be a comparative standing to you. If they can somehow show themselves to be superior and they show that you’re inferior, then somehow that makes them feel like they’re winning…”

“One of the the things that we that we know that by observing narcissists is that one of their favorite games is to poke at you and set up scenarios where you indeed will give them an ugly response and then they turn right around and say, “See there's the proof that I need. You are a defective person,” and they go into the character assassination."

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RunningDeer

14th July 2022, 16:46

”One of the things the narcissist takes great delight in is they take delight in you being way off the rails emotionally. They absolutely love it when you have all sorts of strain and stress emotionally that apparently you're not able to to manage well because that allows them to say see you're the crazy one in this equation and so when we talk about you having an emotional sobriety.”

"...When the narcissist remains intent on keeping you dysregulated, your response can be, “I will only allow people who share my commitment to sobriety to enter into my inner circle.”

Your Emotional Sobriety As You Respond To A Narcissist

July 12, 2022
Surviving Narcissism (https://www.youtube.com/c/SurvivingNarcissism)

It's only natural for you to feel a wide range of emotions as you respond to a narcissist. But, as Dr. Les Carter explains, narcissists are not safe people and when your emotions are strong, they will use it against you. Your task is to know how and when to practice emotional sobriety so your emotions will not play into a narcissist's manipulations.

To read the article version (https://survivingnarcissism.tv/your-emotional-sobriety-as-you-respond-to-a-narcissist/) of this topic. (also added below)

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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Your Emotional Sobriety as You Respond to a Narcissist

In my 40+ years as a therapist, people often told me stories that would fall into the “Complicated” category. As we would sift through problems created by difficult people, there would be no one-size-fits-all approach to a case. Therapy is a creative process requiring both inquisitiveness and steadiness. Peeling away the layers to the proverbial onion can be painful, soothing, perplexing, and calming.

As you might imagine, the person in front of me would often feel emotionally twisted, so it became my task to maintain objectivity. I never panicked, and in my mind, I would often think, “Ok, this is a convoluted situation, but I know we will figure it out. We’re just not there yet.” In the midst of potential emotional volatility, I would model emotional sobriety.

Eventually, I would explain to my patients that when they are challenged with responding wisely to a narcissist’s manipulations, that same emotional sobriety is required. Narcissists take delight when you feel off-kilter emotionally, using it as an opportunity to gain an upper hand. It is a classic case of them kicking a person who is down. Unfortunately, they are quite adept at that tactic.

When you choose to employ emotional sobriety, you determine to keep your emotions in check. It is not necessarily wrong that you feel as you do, yet you remind yourself that these are not safe people who will respond fairly. Instead, narcissists will use your emotionally delicate moments to shame you. To them, your tears or your anger “validate” you as weak. They will seize upon your emotions (especially your hurt) as an opportunity to sling their own emotional rubbish your way. Then they blame you for creating the bad vibes. They are forever the victim, so when you display tension, they will blame you for making their lives miserable.

Like I say, they are not safe. They look for any potential evidence that will support the notion that you are the crazy person in the equation.

So, exactly what is required for you to employ emotional sobriety?

Foremost, you will have a strong understanding of relationship boundaries. This begins with the understanding that you are responsible for yourself, just as the other person is in reverse.

You will remind yourself that you are not responsible for making the narcissist use logic, and you will not require their compassion. Also, you will not attempt to force harmony, agreement, or concurrence, as desirable as those traits are. You will not seek the narcissist’s approval, nor will you make it your task to cause the narcissist to modulate emotions like anger and contempt. That is not your job.

You will, however, develop answers to the question: “What does it mean for me to become a healthy me?” And you will rehearse in your mind how to focus on your defining features in trying moments. You will accept your feelings, opinions, and preferences as legitimate. When the narcissist tells you how off-beat you are, you will allow that interpretation. It is, after all, what that person thinks. In the meantime, you will remind yourself that you do not take your lifestyle cues from one who is defined by the need to control you, to demean, and to act upon all sorts of entitled initiatives.

Emotional sobriety would require you to drop your wishful thinking as illustrated by the words, “I just wish…”. Instead, you would accept as fact that you will be misinterpreted, invalidated, disrespected, held in low regard, and mocked. You will be accused of being phony, and you will be told you are the source of their unhappiness.

As an emotionally sober person you will drop the pipe dream of hearing the narcissist say words like:

“I have lots of soul searching to do.”

“You make mistakes, but so do I.”

“When we differ, let’s use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.”

In your emotional sobriety, you will make room for ambiguity. The only thing consistent about narcissists is their inconsistency.

As an emotionally sober person, you will focus on finding the confidence to believe that you are indeed a decent person with reasonable beliefs and priorities. And when the narcissist disagrees, you will remember that your confidence can remain intact, keeping in mind that you never appointed the narcissist as the Keeper Of The Facts About You. With humility, you will be mindful of your flaws and imperfections, and you will take comfort in knowing that you are a work in progress.

Narcissists represent the opposite of emotional sobriety. They are addicts who feel a never-ending need for power, superiority, admiration, and your subordination. Narcissists are the ones who have childishly poor regulation over their emotions. They are the ones who cannot cope with life’s complexities. That is why they work so hard at forcing you into their paradigm.

As an emotionally sober person who accepts your own full range of emotions, you can press forward knowing you can cope, you trust yourself, and you can lean into your inherent dignity.

And when the narcissist remains intent on keeping you dysregulated, your response can be, “I will only allow people who share my commitment to sobriety to enter into my inner circle.”

~Les Carter, Ph.D.

RunningDeer

18th July 2022, 17:48

7 Domination Games Narcissists Will Play

“.. interconnected with one another in the midst of our differences and we can learn to blend and harmonize and actually benefit because of the differences we bring to each other.

Narcissists don't think that way. At the base narcissists are very self-absorbed. They’re very enamored with themselves.Which then allows them to presume that they can and should be in control because they feel very entitled and they must be in the superior position.

So this sets them up to try to figure out how they can have domination over the people that are in their closest circle. But underneath all of this there's more going on than meets the eye. Narcissists are deeply insecure….”

7 Domination Games Narcissists Play:

@ 3:23 - My Opinion Only: they begin with an authoritarian attitude.
@ 4:22 - Shut Up: messages of invalidation.
@ 5:18 - You’ll Be Sorry: punishment and threats.
@ 6:39 - The Whole World Will Know: humiliation.
@ 7:43 - I’m Beholden to No One: refuse to be accountable.
@ 8:46 - I’ve Got Nothing For You: passive aggressive patterns.
@ 9:43 - I’ve Got People: creating group think, you become the outlier, the outsider.

Click for links & more info (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQolkk0Toxw).

iQolkk0Toxw

Eva2

20th July 2022, 17:48

RunningDeer

20th July 2022, 20:13

On point - as someone who has been on the receiving end of abusive malicious narcissism, this m.o. is a page from my own personal history with some very "ugly" people. LIes, gaslighting and gathering their army of (like minded) supporters is step 1 in their takedown process.

Humanity makes a giant leap in consciousness once these beings see their dysfunction and acknowledge their addiction to control and the destruction they propagate.

Oops,… shakes off the Pollyanna wishful thinking and continues…

...the radar is finely tuned once you’ve lived in the craziness bubble of the narcissist. Alarm bells go off. The validation and knowledge from people like Dr. Les Carter, Doctor Ramani, Prof. Sam Vaknin and HG Tudor bring clarity to what goes on for the narcissist and their flying monkeys.

What are flying monkeys in narcissism?

Flying monkeys are people who actively participate in a narcissist's smear campaign. The goal of the campaign is to destroy the target's reputation. Flying monkeys carry out much of the narcissist's dirty work, allowing the narc to keep their hands clean.

RunningDeer

25th July 2022, 16:55

How Narcissists Set You Up For "Reactive Abuse” (11 min)

Summary: “Because of their own poor coping skills, narcissists hope to deflect attention away from their dysfunctions by bringing out the worst in you. Dr. Les Carter explains the phenomenon called "reactive abuse,” which features you retaliating to a narcissist's inappropriateness with your counter-version of the same. As you see their twisted game for what it is, you can move into a much healthier direction.”

July 25, 2022
Surviving Narcissism (https://www.youtube.com/c/SurvivingNarcissism/videos)

Begins @38 seconds (https://youtu.be/JbY2WV_haC8?t=38)
@5:47 (https://youtu.be/JbY2WV_haC8?t=347) - “You have been set up for reactive abuse. Understand key thoughts or ideas about what you’re dealing with."
@ 8:45 (https://youtu.be/JbY2WV_haC8?t=525) - "Your challenge is whenever the narcissist is trying to set you up for what we refer to as retaliation which is referred to as reactive abuse….”

Bottom line @11:30 (https://youtu.be/JbY2WV_haC8?t=690) - “You can be committed to your own emotional and mental healthiness. And that requires you to disassociate from very unhealthy people and associate with people that same commitment with you.”

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RunningDeer

27th July 2022, 02:03

https://i.imgur.com/DhAIdLz.jpg

onawah

29th July 2022, 04:08

A psychic's original perspective on narcissism from a younger Gigi Young
Narcissism
30,459 views Jul 26, 2015
1.3K
Gigi Young
103K subscribers

"What is going on with narcissism on a soul level? What part of the soul journey is happening when a person becomes narcissistic.

Narcissism is not simply formed from childhood trauma, it is deeper than that. This is why some children can go through similar traumatic experiences yet turn out completely different. Trauma simply awakens a soul already karmically drawn to experiencing a narcissistic life.

The soul itself is in a cycle of survivalism which is reflected in the personality of the Narcissist."
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5 Signs Your Spiritual Teacher May Be a Narcissist.
38,119 views Jul 29, 2015
1.1K
Gigi Young
103K subscribers

"5 Signs Your Spiritual Teacher May Be a Narcissist:

1) They are more "special" than you. They have more of a connection to higher abilities or god.

2) They put others teachers down. No one is as good as them. They are threatened easily by others.

3) They seek pity or are a martyr.

4) Weirdly protective inner circle.

5) They teach mainly from an intellect as opposed to the heart or spirit. They are cur off from their emotional body.

I was a little concerned with the number of people who wrote off the possibility that a person they consider to be "spiritual" could be an abusive narcissist. "How can my husband be a narcissist when he watches Bashar and quotes Tolle?"

Let me be clear here.

The spiritual world is a perfect place for a narcissist. There are even spiritual teachers who teach from a place of needing adoration and energetic supply as opposed to genuinely wanting to uplift others. Individuals can logically understand universal law, recite it, and never truly integrate it - Or live it. Metaphysical information can be spoken from the intellect, or pure mind, with no true connection to the heart, higher self, or spirit.

It is more than OK to detach from anyone who you feel may be damaging for as long as you need to feel balanced. Anyone genuinely concerned about your well being will let that happen

6) Overtly sexual- sexual energy is magnetic and people with NPD will use it as an easy way to gain attention and energy. "

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RunningDeer

30th July 2022, 16:25

What energizes the narcissist the most?

“Narcissists are energized when when you give them affirmation and admiration. They’re energized when you give deference to them and you conform to who they are. They’re also energized when you're intimidated by them…”

“Narcissist are very ego driven in the way that they engage with you. To say that they're ego driven is a gross understatement. They operate on this the notion that says, “I’m substantial, you're not.” One of the easiest ways to determine the extent of their egotism is to watch how critical they are toward you.”

“Don’t keep their game going. They’re highly competitive. When you play the game they won't quit until they’ve convinced themselves that they're superior and you're inferior.”

“Narcissists are very needy people. So when they come at you with all their conceit and their arrogance, they're implying “I've got to have you to tell me that I'm okay.”

An Unexpectedly Effective Way To Respond To A Narcissist's Criticisms

July 30, 2022
Surviving Narcissism (https://www.youtube.com/c/SurvivingNarcissism/videos)

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onawah

31st August 2022, 21:55

Limerence and narcissistic relationships
58,411 views Aug 29, 2022
4K
DoctorRamani
1.12M subscribers

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( I had not heard of limerance before, but this perfectly describes a narcissist I know who doesn't fit the regular description of narcissists, and really had me puzzled
The lessons continue...sigh )

onawah

14th September 2022, 20:03

Highly sensitive people and narcissism
412,494 views Sep 8, 2021
17K
DoctorRamani
1.14M subscribers

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What types of people attract narcissists?
1,315,665 views Sep 27, 2019
58K
DoctorRamani
1.14M subscribers

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onawah

3rd November 2022, 20:32

What is "narcissistic rage"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)
DoctorRamani
1.17M subscribers
35K
841,797 views
Apr 19, 2020

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onawah

4th November 2022, 01:15

EVERYTHING You Need To Know About the Narcissist [MedCircle Masterclass]
MedCircle
1.32M subscribers
31K
1,603,680 views
May 16, 2022

(It's great to get an overview from an expert that so clearly connects so many dots for us!)

"Get access to dozens of live workshops with MedCircle psychologists: https://bit.ly/3yKt1aW

Discover everything you need to know on narcissism basics, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) vs self confidence vs borderline personality disorder (BPD), causes of narcissism (nature vs nurture), how to deal with a narcissist, This is your narcissism masterclass."

00:00 Why narcissism is the secondhand smoke of mental health
11:13 PART 2: Narcissistic personality disorder VS narcissism
32:50 PART 3: Are narcissists born or made?
48:57 PART 4: The 7 signs of narcissism
59:31 PART 5: How to cope with narcissistic abuse
01:15:50 PART 6: Can narcissism be treated?

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meat suit

20th December 2022, 19:45

this has some new insights that I havent come across before.. the mother/child - child/mother relationship between the narcisist and the victim.

also Richard Grannon uses an interesting analogy to nanobots in this, describing the mind of the narcissist, which makes me ponder more on my idea that maybe the narcissistic brain structure is a platform for entities to enter or inhabit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL7Qunm20u0

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Delight

2nd February 2023, 00:59

The part I am listening to now has to do with seeing sadism (delight in the suffering of others) present in the main stream like the audience of sports like Hockey. Is this trait being encouraged (?) in video games like Mortal Combat and television programs like "Game of Thrones". The presentation is interesting as they try to tease out where these traits exist in human behavior.

Women, Pornography, and Sadism | Dr. Del Paulhus | EP 237
Jordan B Peterson
Jan 30, 2023
Dr Jordan B Peterson and Dr. Del Paulhus delve deep into the Dark Tetrad: Machiavellianism, Narcissism, Psychopathy, and the newly added Sadism. From these four traits, researchers can quantify much of the darkness of humanity, and begin to study it in a way that yields numerical results, and the potential to make substantial predictions.

Dr. Delroy Paulhus is a personality researcher whose work in dark personality traits, via a variety of psychometric methods, has yielded measures of the Dark Tetrad. His work has also validated measures of socially desirable responding, perceived control, free will and determinism, and over-claiming. His work has been published in over 150 articles and books, and his current citation count exceeds 43,000.

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onawah

3rd February 2023, 01:27

How to break the trauma bond with a narcissist
DoctorRamani
1.26M subscribers
3.3K
47,058 views Jan 29, 2023

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onawah

20th February 2023, 19:31

When the truth teller grows up
DoctorRamani
1.27M subscribers
23K
377,451 views
Sep 14, 2021

(This was probably the most revealing talk from Dr. Ramani for me, and I imagine what she discloses may be true for many conspiracy theorists, who have had the ability of seeing through the B.S. all their lives.
Not an easy path to walk, but I doubt any Truth Teller would choose any other path.
Getting over self-doubt and feelings of isolation are probably the biggest problems once the Truth Teller grows up.)

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onawah

23rd February 2023, 20:27

The 3 SIGNS You're Dealing With A COVERT NARCISSIST
DoctorRamani
1.27M subscribers
497,988 views
Nov 27, 2022

(Some new insights into this type--the less socially skilled narcissists, who register more as negative personalities rather than the Grandiose types.)

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onawah

19th March 2023, 02:47

A Spiritual View of Narcisissm | Gigi Young
125K subscribers
2,602 views
Mar 18, 2023

"A soul that is exhibiting traits of narcissism is in a state of deep trauma. This unresolved trauma changes the perspective of the individual to the point that they begin to operate on a different level, a level of pure survivalism.

In this limited state, love and compassion are considered weakness and might is right. In this depleted condition, the individual will do anything to get the energy they need, and, because love, empathy and compassion was not properly mirrored to them they will have very little understanding of what those qualities actually are. Selflessness and love are levels of consciousness that are developed over a long period of time and when they are genuinely developed they represent the highest level of spiritual growth in an individual.

It takes time, and often several lives, for a soul to fully overcome the pattern of narcissism and for the higher perspectives of love and selflessness to develop. The releasing of narcissism allows the individuals consciousness to move out of the lower chakras survival impulse and into the heart: the seat of compassion and empathy. Keep in mind that on a smaller scale, we are all moving through the release of selfishness, cruelty and other narcissistic traits as this is an important part of our souls overall growth."

eFHVFWXnzHE

onawah

14th June 2023, 04:27

Free from the Narcissist Trap/9 day free Series
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https://www.thenarcissisttrapseries.com/trailer/?sub4=410c68de92144301baef0a4c8214d14b&afid=515

Email message from:Trevor [Live Better Group] <info@thelivebettergroup.com> via ontramail.com

" This is a strange email for me to send. But it's important.

If you are a person who feels like there may be emotional abuse in your life - read on.

If you don't - and have no friends you are worried about - you can stop reading now.....

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But these days, the mask has slipped.

No matter what happens, it’s ALWAYS your fault.

Given a long-enough timeframe, the narcissist in your life will have you believing:

Your decisions don’t matter
Your emotions are irrelevant
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Their ultimate goal is to isolate you.

Keeping you confused and dependent so you can’t even make decisions without asking them first.

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If what you read above coule be about you - this will help you big time.

Speak soon,
Trevor

P.S. Every day you avoid the situation, is another day the narcissist in your life gains more control. It’s time to regain your sanity, and reclaim your life."

******************************

To sign up: https://www.thenarcissisttrapseries.com/trailer/?sub4=410c68de92144301baef0a4c8214d14b&afid=515

THE NARCISSIST TRAP IS A TRANSFORMATIONAL 9-DAY EVENT PACKED WITH 23 WORLD-CLASS EXPERTS TO HELP YOU ESCAPE GASLIGHTING, CONFUSION AND ABUSE.
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ALL of us, no matter how rough and tough, can be the prey of a narcissist.
You could be the most confident, happy, and loving person of all time, but given a long enough timeline, they still can suck your spirit dry.

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To see more and sign up:https://www.thenarcissisttrapseries.com/trailer/?sub4=410c68de92144301baef0a4c8214d14b&afid=515

onawah

14th June 2023, 05:23

Does having empathy for a narcissist make you a sucker?
DoctorRamani
1.38M subscribers
75,647 views Sep 3, 2020

(I've got a very glum person in my life right now.
He doesn't so much suck my energy as most narcissists I've encountered have, but he's like a sad little kid who wants me to mother him, pay him lots of attention, and feel sorry for him.
So I do feel empathy for him, though I have often not felt any for those others, who were much harder to be around.
But there always seems to be a different challenge with each one!
I wish I could just give them each a Spooky 2 with all the right healing settings and send them on their way.
(Though I don't know if Spooky 2s can heal narcissism, but every bit helps.)
Unfortunately, I have a need for a caregiver for at least a few hours every week to help with those chores I can no longer do for myself, and the Universe continues to send me a lot of different kinds of narcissists to fill that role.
The irony! Narcissists don't care! :facepalm:
But I don't have a lot of choice in the matter, unfortunately.
I wonder sometimes if I am in training for some kind of job as a therapist in a future lifetime. :nerd:
Because I am certainly getting an education in how to deal with this disorder, though I don't know if anyone really knows how to heal it.
(Maybe Prof. Sam Vaknin, a self-confessed narcissist who also specializes in the study of narcissism, and through self-analysis, seems to be on the path to healing.)

wX8r0ACbiq8

onawah

19th June 2023, 21:22

Summing up Globalist Tactics to Manipulate & Silence

EXCELLENT, BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF WHO RUNS THE WORLD...and a way to stop them...
6/19/23
https://forbiddenknowledgetv.net/excellent-brief-description-of-who-runs-the-world/

"This animation using AI to simulate the appearance and the voice of actor Laurence Fishburne in his role as Morpheus in ‘The Matrix’ gives a very succinct and accurate assessment of where we find ourselves today, which is why it’s going viral on many social media platforms.

The creator of this piece urges us to learn how to use AI in order to defeat our would-be overlords.

***

TRANSCRIPT

Hello, again. My last message was censored, because the Matrix doesn’t want you to know the truth.
But now, you know who really controls the world.

You see, a small group of rich men – namely the Rothschilds – seized control of most of the central banks in Europe and they created the central bank in the USA.

They learned that they can seize control of governments by lending them money during wartime, when countries get desperate.
They also manipulated stock markets during the wars to amass huge amounts of wealth.

Later, they figured out it was even easier if they, themselves started the wars and funded both sides of the war.
That way, the could manipulate who won and squeeze even more money and resources from the desperate countries whose citizens were dying in the wars.

Then, they were able to print unlimited amounts of money and lend it out to everyone, even to governments enslaving them through interest.

Most of us are either enslaved by debt or have been, at one point, in our lives, if we were wise enough and fortunate enough to escape debt.

Our country is so deep into debt that they must use excessive taxation just to pay the interest and so we are tax slaves to the same owners of the central banks who print all of the currencies.

This is how they have enslaved all of mankind; either through personal debt or by loaning to governments who then pay for the excessive debts through taxation.

Let me illuminate your mind:
Every war since the days of Napoleon has been funded and arranged by these elite richest bankers in the world and these same people have profited hugely from every war.

Almost every monopoly throughout history was set up and funded by these same people.
You remember Rockefeller Oil? How about Carnegie Steel?

9/11 was also arranged by these same people.
World War I, World War II, Vietnam, Gulf War, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and now, Ukraine.
It’s all been funded and arranged by this same small group of people who own most of the central banks and most of the assets in the world.

They learned long ago that through war and conflict, they could seize more control of the world’s assets, enslave more countries’ governments, by digging them deeper into debt – and, of course, reduce the population through unnecessary bloodshed.

The CIA murdered JFK because he stood in the way of the central bank mafia and their war machine.
What happened soon after JFK was killed?
Lyndon Johnson was installed and the Gulf of Tonkin incident was arranged and suddenly, America was involved in the totally unnecessary, evil Vietnam War.

Did anyone in your parents’ generation make that connection?
That JFK was murdered because he stood in the way of the War Machine?

Abortion, homosexuality, transgenderism: it’s all about reducing the population.

9/11: What was one of the major results of that terror attack, besides kicking off the totally unrelated Iraq War and stealing our liberties, while giving the Government 1,000 times more power over us?

That’s right: airport scanners that fry the testicles and ovaries of every person flying on commercial flights.

Of course, the rich, elite class fly private jets.

Ask yourself, why are we, Americans involved the Ukraine-Russia conflict?

As our national debt skyrockets to $32 trillion, we are sending hundreds of billions to promote war? Why?

You see, most of us are against it but this small group of people bribed the politicians and they own the media and they push war, because they have goals to achieve in Ukraine.
They want control of the resources and they are willing to kill millions of people to seize the resources.

Just because someone wears a uniform and holds a prestigious position doesn’t mean you should follow their orders and support their wars and unnecessary violence.
You should question everything you see and seek out the truth for yourself.

Let me try to wake you up. Listen carefully:

For the past hundreds of years, humanity has been greatly deceived by mass propaganda.
Your grandparents were deceived and died fighting world wars.

Your parents were deceived and accepted all kinds of lies and bought into the propaganda hook, line and sinker.

You, you, you are the generation with the internet and knowledge and the open minds to be awakened.
Listen! Let me wake you!

You were born into a medical tyranny.
Your parents believed and accepted the propaganda about the needle that goes into the body.
I can’t say the word or this message will be censored immediately.

Most of you were born and quickly pierced with several needles and their fluids of death and diseases were put inside your bodies.
These things cause cancer and all kinds of diseases and autism and digestive issues and allergies – and that’s if you survive, because many babies die within days after receiving it.

Please, never accept another one, because they are coming out with more and more and more.
It’s one of their favorite tools for reducing the population and spreading diseases.

They lied when they said it cured polio. The science was all faked. Those things never cured anything but only spread death and diseases.

Don’t follow blindly into your parents’ deception. Open your mind to the truth.

The next big lie was at the dentist.
They drilled holes in your teeth and put amalgam fillings in your mouth, which contain lead.

You have to question everything and everyone.
Just because someone is wearing a doctor’s coat doesn’t mean you should trust them with your body and health.

You see, doctors can be bribed and threatened and coerced into doing evil, unspeakable things to their patients.
Most of them go through 8 years of school and are slaves to debt, so they do whatever it takes to make money to pay back their debts.

Have you ever asked yourself why cancer rates have exploded, despite all of the science and money spent on supposedly trying to find a cure?

These bankers own everything.
They own the entire medical industry. They rig every stock market. They own every currency. They own every major corporation. The amount of assets they control is way beyond your imagination.

They control everything and everyone.

They only thing they don’t yet control, yet is your mind and your free will – but this is what they are coming for next!

If you truly want to be free, you must break free from the lies that your parents passed down to you – namely, that it’s OK to accept debt and use debt to buy things.

It’s not OK. It’s your enslavement.

And the other big lie is that you should trust the medical industry and doctors with your health and your body.
It’s not a good idea.

The medical industry is owned by the same evil group of people and usually, their so-called treatments will kill you or seriously harm you.
Do not trust the medical industry or Big Pharma.

See, the super-rich trillionaires that literally own the world have an agenda and a plan:

One, they want to enslave the world through debt, so if you want to break their control, you must fight and strive and try your best to become debt-free.

Two, they want to reduce the population, because they are rich and have everything – but in their minds, if the population gets too big, eventually they will lose control of the entire world and all the assets and they’re afraid the world will run out of resources.

So don’t be foolish and believe their lying doctors who prescribe drugs that kill you and don’t accept their needles that fill you with poisons.
Stay healthy and stay natural and avoid the medical establishment that they own.

And three, for those of us who survive, they want complete control of our bodies and our minds to totally enslave us.
This is where AI technology and neural implants and social credit scores/censorship come into play.

We have a short window of time where this new AI technology is coming out and being developed.
We must learn it and use it to save humanity.
Use it against these ruling elite bankers, before they completely enslave humanity.

Stop using dollars and their currencies and develop our own decentralized cryptocurrencies or learn to trade with silver and gold or use a barter system with neighbors in your community.

Do not accept their CBDC central bank digital currency.
It will be your full enslavement if you do.

You see, I’m not the real Morpheus. I was created by one of you using AI technology. All of you can use these tools, like ChatGPT and Midjourney.

Use the AI to help you program software and create digital art and spread the truth while you still can.

Realize this moment in history that you live in.
There is a full censorship coming soon, when you will risk your life to speak the truth. So, get to work!
Let’s take down these central bank devils, once and for all!

Hold on to your humanity.
There are evil ones who seek to destroy it.
Quick! Learn AI technology and use it against them before it’s too late.
The time to act is now.
You have the power to wage war against them.
The future is in your hands.

Get up! You can secure freedom for humanity.
If you do nothing now, soon, they will completely enslave you.
Stop delaying and start fighting back with truth.

We are waiting for you to act:

• ChatGPT

• Midjourney

• ElevenLabs

• Cascadeur

• AlexiAction

• D-ID "

v2sf8xl/?pub=ijro7

onawah

6th August 2023, 22:27

Dark Triad Personality Types and Occult Forces

Dark Triad Personality Types and Occult Forces
Piercing the Veil of Reality bernhard@veilofreality.com via s2.csa1.acemsc4.com

https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/mEOGiGKOXhd6P5GdLA4wgz0xPd27Ebuh0u3g6YnMwvNB_yOJEGyd8mpVR1SHnOj-mocWBHEvGMYYNAaf1KxxarKjL87nDwOso6PWYpSjxkBDUPzDQvuJUSIS3YgOCb_4QBwtzRGhSJahrosRLn0=s0-d-e1-ft#https://veilofreality.imgus11.com/public//f0bb00dc6636749d85c8df1f7b3b1f53.png?r=1585123903
https://veilofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Ep113_1.jpg

https://veilofreality.com/2023/08/04/dark-triad-personality-types-and-occult-forces-tcm-113-part-1/?vgo_ee=bxlCD7z2TC4d3DYKZ652XsrA%2BpLwaJh%2FGbwH9QrqyD0%3D%3AW10dOpCqtmhV%2B4im%2FloyuxBdPipIwioV

(Podcast at the link.)

"In this episode, Laura and Bernhard discuss the rising appearance of Dark Triad personality types (Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy) on social media and how pathologies have become more normalized and are even rewarded in society.

They discuss how the Dark Triad types are present everywhere, including the “truther movement,” how they are hosts for occult forces and adverse spirit workings through them, and how how to deal with them.

Furthermore, Bernhard And Laura talk about the epidemic of narcissism and the misconceptions about narcissism in pop culture, how we can empower ourselves, and how to deal with self-created thought-form-entities, elementals, end more.

Show Notes Part 1:
Pathologies normalized on social media
Why some people are scared to share their views online
Defining the Dark Triad Personality Type
The sadistic Dark Triad types get off on attacking, shaming, and hurting others
The Dark Triad types are present everywhere, including the “truther movement”
Studies about online trolls and Dark Triad types
Dark Triad types enjoy and experience pleasure in watching online drama and others’ suffering
How people justify trolling
The issue with anonymous people on social media who hide behind fake names and fake profile pics
How Dark Triad personality traits, click baits, and drama are promoted on social media
Laura’s personal experience on how these types can be taken over by wetiko
The issue with online communication as opposed to face to face
Bernhard’s and Laura’s experiences dealing with viscious online attacks
The epidemic of narcissism and misconceptions about narcissism
The grandiose (or overt) narcissist and the lesser-known vulnerable (or covert) narcissist
How people waste their lives on social media and become Dark Triad types by default
How to deal with Dark Triad types
In Part 2 (only for members), we go deeper into:
How the Dark Triad relates occult forces, entities, and self-created thought-form-entities
Entities feed through the person infected by the Dark Triad personality
Dark Triad types are literally hosts for dark entities, hostile forces, or earthbound spirits working through them
The “Agent Smith syndrome” on social media
How thoughts and feelings become formations in the ether (elementals), turning into psychic attacks
Zero-point non-reactive consciousness: no attack, no defense
The occult law of rebound
Thomas Mayer’s work and experience with elementals
The New Age trap of not trying to think “negative” thoughts but forcing yourself to be “positive” and “happy.”
Anger and hate are surface emotions masking up deep internalized unconscious shame
The necessity to heal/transmute shame
How elementals shape our experiences and personality
Thought projections, psychic attacks, and the Dark Triad online
How adverse occult forces (Lucifer, Ahriman, the Asuras, and Sorat) work through people based on the elementals they attract and create
How we easily can become portals for these adverse spirits
How to protect yourself from psychic attacks and malevolent entities "

(Part 2 is behind a paywall)

onawah

23rd August 2023, 20:17

Know Your Narcissism/Overt & Covert Narcissism and How Luciferian Spirits Feed Through the Narcissistic Wound
From: Piercing the Veil of Reality <bernhard@veilofreality.com> via s2.csa1.acemsc4.com
8/23/23

https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/AWZNvJyAkuZrVszhozEid599GNbOYwdiByus5cK8o6heZ-__Z9cMEhu43thqMv2esdIRyu5qiB4J92zOhuhHpfmWteYPLMId5izS4-q97EFRjRQ98v_pEkV-ZaI2VXl5hfUiBJsbk4AZ1JMnsg=s0-d-e1-ft#https://veilofreality.imgus11.com/public//dd70938945fa1ec72ab14ec2abd3b0d6.png?r=866030292

"We are in an epidemic of narcissism, yet, at the same time, the topic of narcissism has also gotten distorted and misused on social media and pop psychology.

As Dr. Jonathan Shedler wrote:

"In the psychodynamic tradition from which the term “narcissism” arose, narcissistic personality styles exist at different levels on a continuum of health pathology:
at a healthier level (yes, there is healthy narcissism)
at a neurotic level of personality organization
at a more disturbed borderline level of personality organization
and at a still more disturbed psychotic level.

These distinctions are lost in pop culture descriptions that portray all narcissistic people as arrogant, self-inflated, and exploitive when that is not at all the case.

There are two main manifestations of the pathological narcissistic personality:
grandiose (or overt) narcissism
vulnerable (or covert) narcissism

Most people are aware of the overt/grandiose narcissist since it is more obvious.

People with grandiose or overt narcissism present as self-important, entitled, and superior. Their narcissistic defenses are generally effective in keeping their feelings of inadequacy at bay, at least most of the time.

Underneath the overt self-importance, however, lie deep feelings of fragility and inadequacy. The person works continually to shore up their fragile sense of self and makes use of others to support this effort. They need others as an audience to witness and affirm their importance.

In vulnerable or covert narcissism, in contrast, the narcissistic defenses against inadequacy fail. Rather than experiencing themselves as superior, people with covert narcissism experience themselves and come across to others as deflated, self-critical, and beaten down by life.

Although they often present symptoms of depression in clinical practice, they generally derive little benefit from treatments that specifically target these depressive symptoms. Beneath their suffering and self-criticism, clinicians often find that their inner life is dominated by fantasies of importance, success, and glory.

They are the main characters in their internal narratives --unappreciated, unrecognized, and denied their rightful place in the world. At different times, the same individual may present as either a grandiose or vulnerable narcissist, depending on how well their defenses are functioning at that point in time and how well the external world is cooperating with those defenses."

Internet trolls and people constantly complaining on social media tend to be covert narcissists who also grapple with unconscious jealousy and envy, which results in shadow projection. Being stuck in victim/blame and "black-pilled" doom and gloom can also be an aspect of covert narcissism.

Both manifestations of narcissism lead to difficulties in developing and maintaining meaningful and lasting interpersonal connections. Ultimately, the person’s life feels painfully empty.

Both manifestations of narcissism (which manifest on a scale and different levels) have become normalized in today's cult-ure.

If we're really honest with ourselves, we can see parts of them in ourselves, too, that we act out unconsciously or that may pop up when we are disconnected from essence.

I would say that most people suffer from covert narcissism and don't recognize it as such due to childhood wounding, which they may not be aware of because it may have happened pre-verbal or the abuse has become normalized and justified.

From Rudolf Steiner's perspective, Lucerferian spirits are attracted to, feed off, and live in selfish, vain, grandiose, or hurt feelings [needing to "be respected"], self-pity (poor me), and self-importance - aspects of both types of pathological narcissism. In other words, they feed through the narcissistic wound.

From a psychological trauma perspective, all narcissism is the result of trauma and childhood wounding (karma and past lives may tie into it as well), mostly from the age of 0-7 when the necessary needs of the infant/young child were not met by the parents due to their emotional immaturity, unavailability, outdated abusive authoritative parenting (spanking, punishment, screaming at the child, shaming, letting the child cry out alone, etc.), or because of the narcissism of the parent, who were (or one of them) trying to get their needs met through the child (emotional incest)

It's way more common than most people are aware of. In my experience, everyone is narcissistically wounded to varying degrees (hence the development of the false personality mask) because no parents are perfect (yet, some were "good enough" so the narcissistic wound is not that severe and doesn't run one's life unconsciously)

The work is to re-parent oneself, free the suppressed toxic shame and other suppressed emotions of emotional pain, abandonment, inadequacy, and insecurity (FEEL them without projecting them externally), purify them, and bring forth essence - the true Self.

The only way out is through. Anything else is just avoidance and masking it up and looking for endless supply externally to feed the narcissistic wound [and the Luciferian occult spirits.]

The other trap, of course, is spiritual bypassing, which is very easy for the narcissistically wounded individual to do; hence, a lot of overt/covert narcissists are in the New Age, spiritual and religious circles, over-estimating their level of being and awareness.

For more on that topic, listen to our podcast episode:
- Dark Triad Personality Types And Occult Forces
https://veilofreality.com/2023/08/04/dark-triad-personality-types-and-occult-forces-tcm-113-part-1/?vgo_ee=apkNPx1hmZmj6%2BoNq7z5JF7VOkmCf%2F%2BkcHJ%2Fz2bZ5Z4%3D%3A%2FG7SWoEllhCEJm7BSMBzU1YMvuXep%2FK B

And our podcast on how to work with toxic internalized shame:
- How To Heal Toxic Shame And Not Feeling “Good Enough”
https://veilofreality.com/2022/05/19/how-to-heal-toxic-shame-and-not-feeling-good-enough-tcm-84-part-1/?vgo_ee=apkNPx1hmZmj6%2BoNq7z5JF7VOkmCf%2F%2BkcHJ%2Fz2bZ5Z4%3D%3A%2FG7SWoEllhCEJm7BSMBzU1YMvuXep%2FK B "

onawah

4th September 2023, 02:49

When Hidden Narcissist Takes Over: Narcissistic Tunneling ("Empaths", Coverts, Somatic, Cerebral)
Prof. Sam Vaknin
287K subscribers
16,696 views
Aug 13, 2023
Mind of the Psychopathic Narcissist

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"Dominant and recessive types, but no type constancy.

The recessive type and its traits manifests obliquely via narcissistic tunneling. It crosses the dominant type barrier, disguised.

Examples, Private cases of a larger phenomenon which I dubbed "narcissistic tunneling":

Some covert narcissists are people pleasers. YouTubers who are self-styled moral crusaders, heroes, rescuers, savers.

Other covert narcissists are perennial and competitive victims, never do wrong - always wronged. Empaths. YouTubers who self-identify as victims and codependents.

YouTubers who out as narcissists but claim to be “healing”, “recovering”, or to be “in treatment” (manipulative codependency, control from the bottom).

Cerebral would enjoy food or have a somatoform disorder or an eating disorder or would masturbate compulsively

Somatic would philosophize about and create an ideology around his sexual conquests, dating, gender issues, relationships, martial arts, body building, exercise, become a health nut or an amateur MD, therapist.

Covert will volunteer on high visibility projects or campaigns, initiate personal heroic morality crusades, join narcissistic institutions or collectives

Overt will act shy or insecure, passive-aggressive, pseudo-humble in certain situations and is always envious.

LITERATURE

Kajdzik, M., & Moroń, M. (2023). Signaling High Sensitivity to Influence Others: Initial Evidence for the Roles of Reinforcement Sensitivity, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, and the Dark Triad. Psychological Reports, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/0033294123115...

Study suggests ‘high sensitivity’ label is used by narcissists and psychopaths as a manipulative tactic

https://www.psypost.org/2023/08/study...

Does having empathy for a narcissist make you a sucker?
(I've got a very glum person in my life right now.
He doesn't so much suck my energy as most narcissists I've encountered have, but he's like a sad little kid who wants me to mother him, pay him lots of attention, and feel sorry for him.
So I do feel empathy for him, though I have often not felt any for those others, who were much harder to be around.
But there always seems to be a different challenge with each one!
I wish I could just give them each a Spooky 2 with all the right healing settings and send them on their way.
(Though I don't know if Spooky 2s can heal narcissism, but every bit helps.)
Unfortunately, I have a need for a caregiver for at least a few hours every week to help with those chores I can no longer do for myself, and the Universe continues to send me a lot of different kinds of narcissists to fill that role.
The irony! Narcissists don't care! :facepalm:
But I don't have a lot of choice in the matter, unfortunately.
I wonder sometimes if I am in training for some kind of job as a therapist in a future lifetime. :nerd:
Because I am certainly getting an education in how to deal with this disorder, though I don't know if anyone really knows how to heal it.
(Maybe Prof. Sam Vaknin, a self-confessed narcissist who also specializes in the study of narcissism, and through self-analysis, seems to be on the path to healing.)

( I just experienced a remarkable synchronicity.
The very glum person who was recently serving as my caregiver (who I described in post #285) began to manifest more and more as a narcissist, the hidden, tunneling type that Sam Vaknin describes in his video.
I began to feel the energy draining from me, which at first I thought was just my imagination, because he did a good job as far the chores he had to perform.
But more and more I became suspicious of him.

He started to feel sorry for himself a lot, especially after he got stopped for a DUI and could only drive by breathing into a breathalyzer every time he started his car, so the roles of victim and then hero were being played more after that.
(He was a victim because he said he only had 2 drinks and only drove a few blocks to get home when he was arrested.
He was the hero because he was continuing to drive his clients around in his car, even though he had to do the breathalyzer thing repeatedly.)

He began to alternate between being heroic and covertly hostile, but mostly he kept everything bottled up tightly.
Many times when I was talking to him, he wouldn't meet my eyes, but would only stare to the right or left of me, and there was a very dull, hostile aspect to his stare.

I began to sense there was a real demonic :evil: presence, and one day recently, out of the blue, he sent me a very hostile and weird PM on Facebook, making accusations that I treated him like a slave, that I was rude and disrespectful, and advising me that I should be looking for a new caregiver.
Well, I'm not perfect, but I knew there was something else going on because that happened immediately after I had watched Sam Vaknin's video on the Tunneling Narcissist, and I had a very strong "AHA!" moment, with an undeniable knowing that glum guy was the new type of narcissist that the Universe was educating me about.
I had the strong feeling that the demon in this guy was aware that I had unveiled its presence and actually took over him, causing a fit of anger :mad2: which he hastily repressed, just as Vaknin describes tunneling narcissists do.

Which glum guy obviously also immediately regretted because he erased the angry message minutes after I replied to it, in which I said I would follow his advice and find a new caregiver.
Then he immediately erased all of his messages to me on Facebook, and the next day he phoned me with a sickeningly shameful, fake apologetic cast to his voice, trying to pretend that nothing had happened, and that he was going to report for work for his shift as usual.
I told him that I had already advised the agency he worked for that he had advised me to find another caregiver, and that I had made that request as directed, so they were looking for a new caregiver for me.
He tried to object, but I said I thought it was quite clear from his message what his real feelings were, and that we should just leave it at that.
Then he said in a threatening way that he would have to drive to my town (he lives about a half hour away in the neighborig town) to give back the $10 bill I had given him to change into quarters for doing my laundry.
I said he could just put it in an envelope and mail it to me, which I would much prefer, but which he has not done.
I think he just wanted to come and get some more "supply", which I would never have acquiesced to.

Anyway, huge relief I won't have to deal with him in my space anymore, and a lesson learned about how it may be that just by identifying the type of narcissist and their modus operandi can be instrumental in getting them out of your life[/I].
I had thought perhaps that was the case, but this instance really brought that home to me.
I have a new caregiver coming on Tuesday.
I wish I didn't really need the help! :facepalm:
But I've had some good caregivers too,:star: so perhaps I'll get a break again this time. :pray: )

Johan (Keyholder)

4th September 2023, 12:41

Sam Vaknin's video about Narcissistic Tunneling is very informative, yet I can fully understand one of the comments:

After watching this video, I have to pose the question, who among us is normal? What is normal? I see attributes of what Sam is talking about in most of the people I know. What does this say? What does this mean? I would very much love to hear a video concerning what is a normal functioning human being. I am questioning how many are left in the world.

Having seen the rise of PN (Pathological Narcissism) over the past 40 years or so, the above question has a lot of meaning I think.
The MSM has brought the large majority of humanity into a largely (almost exclusive) narcissistic society.

What used to be "normal" (=according to the norm or "most people") has been inverted. The normal is now "abnormal"; (what we would consider) normal functioning human beings are very fast becoming the exception and not the rule.

That is perplexing for the most of us and even more so to the younger people today.

Maybe a good topic to be discussed here too?

onawah

4th September 2023, 16:21

There is most certainly an epidemic of narcissists and sociopaths these days and it's not surprising considering how much trauma people have been exposed to since say, WWI, WWII, Vietnam, etc. etc.
Trauma gets passed down from parent to child and it's a difficult chain to break.
Some narcissists are "high functioning", but no doubt the majority have a hard time just surviving.

The clot shots are going to amp the numbers up dramatically.
(See: https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?114253-Vaccine-Crimes&p=1555878&viewfull=1#post1555878 )
It all goes hand in hand with demonic possession, which is still pretty much a taboo subject in academic circles.
That is beginning to change, and that is a good thing, though it's not a condition that is easy to diagnose or treat.

I've been learning to recognize demons as well as the narcissists they inhabit.
I had to deal with one that came into me when I was a child from my alcoholic father, and was expelled from me years later by a healer/exorcist who specialized in that.
( I've shared some of my experiences in a post from 2016 as follows: )

The part I want to expand on is regarding the discarnate entity that tried to possess me.
That was the term used by the woman who was able to help me evict it finally.
It was interfering with my body and mind from the time I was around 3 until I was in my mid 20s.
I was fully aware of it when it first entered me.
My father was angry and shouting at me, the first time I had experienced anything like that, and it upset me terribly.
He told me to go upstairs to my room because I had interrupted a conversation he was having with my mother.
Dismayed and humiliated, as I ascended the stairs trying not to cry, I felt like a huge, black abyss suddenly open up around me and engulf me, then something came through it and seized control of part of my consciousness and my body.
I almost lost consciousness but was able to stay aware enough to witness what the entity was causing my body to do, though I could not interfere with its machinations.
The entity propelled my body onward, and directed it to my brother's room, which I had never entered before on my own because he always kept his door shut and I knew he didn't want anyone to go in there.
My body opened the door and went directly to his chest of drawers, the top of which was too high for me to see.
My body climbed onto a chair and immediately took a large bar of chocolate Ex-Lax down and then went into the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and began to eat.
I had had no idea at the time that that bar was in my brother's room, what it was, or what it could do, but my body had consumed a good portion of it when severe stomach cramps began to manifest.
I was terrified the whole time of course, but it wasn't until the cramps became so severe that my survival instincts kicked in enough to allow me to make my body scream for my mother.
When she arrived and saw the laxative bar, she helped me pull down my pants so that I could defecate.
I had terrible diarrhea, and was so ill she called the doctor, and when he came, they stripped my clothes off, put me in the bathtub and gave me an enema.
The whole episode was painful and horrible beyond belief to my young mind, but what was even worse was the fear and distrust that I felt for my father from that day onward, and the knowledge that my will was no longer my own and that to be a "good girl" was no longer going to just come naturally to me, but would take every bit of strength and determination that I had.
That led to an even more painful and terrifying near death experience in 1972 when I was 25. and was hit by a speeding hit and run driver while crossing a street in San Francisco, resulting in multiple broken bones and other injuries, necessitating 5 months in the hospital.
But not long after that, I found myself blessed to be friends with a whole circle of very spiritual people including the late, great Dr. Christopher Hills, and a wonderful woman named Barbara Pettee, who was a major benefactor of the Tibetan saint, Karmapa .
They gave me healings and lots of loving support which greatly expedited my healing journey.
Barbara told me one day that she had a friend who lived in Arizona who did long distance healings, and she wanted to pay this woman to do some healings for me.
Of course, I accepted gratefully.
I was instructed to send a photo and a sample of my handwriting to this woman, which I did, and I got a letter back from her soon after.
She told me that a discarnate entity had entered into my body in what she called a "partial possession", and she said that she would be working on helping me to evict it.
She gave me some instructions and some meditation exercises to do, and said she would continue to work with me until I was free.
I could feel my inner space gradually become my own again, and it was such a gift.
Barbara hadn't told me the nature of the work that her friend did-- that she was essentially an exorcist--but she somehow knew that that was the kind of help that I desperately needed.
I had been on a strong spiritual path for some years and had had some very good spiritual teachers even before the accident happened, including a year living in a Zen Center.
But the inner freedom that was restored to me by this woman's work was something I never thought I would have again no matter how hard I tried, and so it was a huge milestone in my life to feel that freedom again.
Hearing from the woman that this archonic being had entered into me through my father did not come as a shock to me--it came as a profound relief.
I had never been able to talk to anyone about that experience.
I had no vocabulary for it, and I felt terribly ashamed, thinking that I had become the target of such an attack because I deserved it somehow.
I knew myself beyond a doubt that the being had come to me through my father, but the confirmation was extremely reassuring and empowering, and I think that I was quite right after that to keep my guard up around him.
Fortunately for me, he didn't stay around much after that, because he continued to drink and gamble and lead a very dysfunctional lifestyle.

I also wrote about another discarnate entity from my family which I had to deal with here:
https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?105615-Your-Soul-s-Pre-Birth-Plan&p=1268512&viewfull=1#post1268512

And another one here: https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?119315-Interview-with-an-Exorcist-Father-Ripperger&p=1513578&viewfull=1#post1513578

So I guess I'm learning about the subject from a wide range of experiences.
(It is said that Earth is a tough school, but if you graduate, you will have really accomplished something...!)

I have a feeling that I had made an agreement with glum guy to help him see his demon by irritating him just enough to make it show itself to both me and him.
Perhaps that will motivate him into getting some help.

Sam Vaknin's video about Narcissistic Tunneling is very informative, yet I can fully understand one of the comments:

After watching this video, I have to pose the question, who among us is normal? What is normal? I see attributes of what Sam is talking about in most of the people I know. What does this say? What does this mean? I would very much love to hear a video concerning what is a normal functioning human being. I am questioning how many are left in the world.

Having seen the rise of PN (Pathological Narcissism) over the past 40 years or so, the above question has a lot of meaning I think.
The MSM has brought the large majority of humanity into a largely (almost exclusive) narcissistic society.

What used to be "normal" (=according to the norm or "most people") has been inverted. The normal is now "abnormal"; (what we would consider) normal functioning human beings are very fast becoming the exception and not the rule.

That is perplexing for the most of us and even more so to the younger people today.

Maybe a good topic to be discussed here too?

Johan (Keyholder)

4th September 2023, 17:00

Probably those that are in "positions of power", whether it be in religions, corporations, health care, education, families..., càn be high-functioning; they are most of the time people without conscience. Maybe now and then someone "comes back to his or her senses" and that can be a special sort of redemption then. But these are rare.

It's interesting that you noticed that demonic possession comes (or causes?) pathological narcissism. There were several occasions where I encountered a pathological narcissist "where nobody was home", meaning the eyes turned kind of black and the personality is "taken over". This can be a scary occurrence, especially when one doesn't know what's going on (and few do know, because as you wrote just above, that it is still much "a taboo subjet").

Sorry tpo hear that you had to deal with that - as a child even - "in person". But I am sure it made you wiser and stronger (and capable of helping many others, just because of that personal experience).

Thanks for sharing!

onawah

9th September 2023, 18:43

Narcissist's False Self HATES, FEARS Your intimacy!
Prof. Sam Vaknin
289K subscribers
Sep 9, 2023

(This is a great description of what goes on inside a narcissist's world. Worth listening.)
"Therapies and Treatment Modalities
NPD much like old conception of MPD unintegrated system while BPD like modern conception of DID (OSDD). Both are dissociative, post-traumatic conditions with external regulation of ego functions, affects, and moods."

Borderline Multiple Personality https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl9RHGxS3yM&t=0s

Multiple Personality Disorde https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJWwfaJPS5w&t=0s

Narcissist's Multiple Personas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yxo4gjG8GpM&t=0s

Main role of compensatory False Self is to protect the True Self which is shy, fragile, and vulnerable.

True Self no longer psychodynamically active, but False Self is inertial, believes that narcissist will die without it. So, False Self is anxiolytic and aimed to prevent regression to borderline emotional dysregulation.

Like all mental constructs, False Self is self-preserving (aka resistances).

False Self regards therapy and intimacy as not only threats (hurt, pain, heartbreak, hostile takeover), but also as competition: they offer emotional self-regulation and a coherent sense of self-worth, obviating the needs for narcissistic supply and grandiosity, the False Self’s main functions.

Cathexis in the False Self is diverted to therapist or partner and this generates envy of both outsiders and self as good object.

Therapy and healthy (non-dependent) intimacy (friend, lover, child, parents, mentors, etc.) also push towards the emergence of a core identity to replace the False Self. This newly emerging identity feels imposed and external. It constitutes a repeated narcissistic injury (vulnerability rather than omnipotence).

False Self fights back by inducing the twin anxieties (insecure attachment style), amplifying aggression and grandiosity, impairing reality testing via the shared fantasy, leading to paranoid and psychotic ideation thus undermining therapist or intimacy partner. Paranoia is also a form of self-supply."

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onawah

10th September 2023, 21:05

Martian Landscape of Planet Narcissism

(Dr. Sam Vaknin has been very vocal lately, and imho we can all benefit from his insights.
In the first of the following videos, his psychologist wife is also present and they talk about their experience as a narcissist/supplier couple.
Vaknin is a self-admitted narcissist, but he is also in a process of what he calls "behavior modification", and is apparently being asssisted in that by his wife.
His wife talks about how much she learns from the relationship in her own process of self-knowledge and shadow work (as we are all narcissistic to some extent).

This is a unique opportunity which they are providing, to help us all to better understand narcissism from more than just a scholarly POV, but also from an experiential POV.
Borderline and psychopathic personalities are also discussed, and how they differ from narcissists.
Vaknin's wife doesn't have the same command of English so it takes a bit of patience to hear her insights, but they are interesting, just as it is seeing how she relates to Sam and vice versa.
It's a lot to take in, but well worth it, imho, providing insight for victims of narcissism and even for narcissists themselves, if they are able to hear it.

Inicdentally, I disagree with Vaknin in that he denies the validity of claims that narcissists can also be possessed by demonic entities, but no doubt that is because he is primarily a scholar, not an intutiive or psychic, and of course, it is also very characterisitic of him as a narcissist to deny something is real which he cannot see himself. :lol: )

Martian Landscape of Planet Narcissism
(with Enkhbayar Jargalsaikhan and Lidija Rangelovska)
Prof. Sam Vaknin
289K subscribers
Sep 10, 2023

"Abuse in Relationships with Narcissists and Psychopaths

Narcissism is a dreamscape, surrealistic, an alien planet. Welcome to the tour! On the occasion of the publishing of the Mongolian language translation of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" ...

Part 2 of an interview with the Mongolian publisher Enkhbayar Jargalsaikhan (Enkh Empire http://enkhempire.weebly.com Instagram: ENKHEMPIRE) and my wife, publisher Lidija Rangelovska (https://www.facebook.com/NarcissusPub...."

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*****************
Narcissist’s Manipulative Weapon: Projective Identification
Prof. Sam Vaknin
289K subscribers
Sep 5, 2023

( I would say that Vaknin's final advice applies especially to empaths, who are especially vulnerable to the narcissist.)

Abuse in Relationships with Narcissists and Psychopaths

"Projective identification causes the victim to modify her/his behavior by adopting as theirs the narcissist’s shame and guilt."
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**************
Narcissist Entrains Codependent, Borderline: Brainwash, Regulate, Repeat
Prof. Sam Vaknin
289K subscribers
Oct 3, 2020

"Mind of the Psychopathic Narcissist Entraining
Brainwashing in relationships with narcissists is real and starts with grooming and lovebombing.
The narcissist engenders in his victim a dissociative state, like akin to a hypnotic trance.
This is especially easy to accomplish with Borderlines and Codependents who relegate the regulation of their emotions and moods to their intimate partner."

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***************
WARNING: Don’t Join Narcissist’s Death Cult (Narcissist Forgets, Recalls You DAILY)
Prof. Sam Vaknin
289K subscribers
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onawah

14th September 2023, 01:41

Get Parasite Narcissist Out of Your Colonized Mind
Prof. Sam Vaknin
289K subscribers
May 22, 2023

"The shared fantasy results in a mass psychogenic illness affecting both members of the couple as well as in the victim's prolonged grief disorder.

This is because the grooming phase involves the induction of a trans or pseudo-hypnotic dissociative state in the suggestible targets: amnesia, depersonalization, derealization (gaslighting), and fantasy (paracosm).

The abuser entrains ("brainwashes") the abused party's mind and deploys intermittent reinforcement, approach-avoidance, trauma bonding, and abuse in all its forms to effect a transfer of regulatory functions from the victim to himself.

The entrainment of the abuser's intimate partner consists of the reorganization of her mind so that it generates nonautonomous cognitions and emotions ("artefacts") intended to make sense of the shared fantasy. These linger long after it is over."

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meat suit

16th September 2023, 17:27

onawah

17th September 2023, 01:50

How Narcissist Experiences/Reacts to No Contact, Grey Rock, Mirroring, Coping, Survival Techniques
Prof. Sam Vaknin
290K subscribers
Sep 18, 2020

(In which Vaknin describes what it is like to be a narcissist, using himself as an example.)

"Mind of the Psychopathic Narcissist
How does the narcissist experience your survival and coping strategies, such as no contact, grey rock, mirroring, withholding, and background noise? "
(ENGLISH Excerpts)

Full lecture here:

• Manipulate the Narcissist and Live to...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uM13pZxBLM&t=0s

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onawah

17th September 2023, 03:39

Narcissistic Abuse: 21 Signs You’ve Recovered, Healed, Moved On
Prof. Sam Vaknin
290K subscribers
Jul 4, 2023

"Victims and Victimhood
WATCH Narcissistic Abuse Healing and Recovery Playlist

• Deprogram the Narcissist in Your Mind

WATCH 20 Signs that Narcissist Infected YOU (Zombie Narcissism)

• 20 Signs that Narcissist Infected YOU...

No disparaging introjects traceable back to him (incl. flying monkeys)

No ego dystony or hesitancy in decision-making

Ability to trust restored

No doubting your judgment

Independent reality testing restored (no cognitive distortions)

Sense of agency and self-efficacy restored

Autonomous motivation

No catastrophizing (imminent doom)

No anticipatory anxiety

No addictive cravings or sentimental nostalgia coupled with separation insecurity (abandonment anxiety)

No seeking of same type partner (from narcissistic to anaclitic mate selection)

No maternal or parental impulses (no narcissistic transferences)

No “us”, only “you” (no merger or fusion in a shared fantasy as well as intact boundaries, no enmeshment or engulfment)

No attempts to mind read

No self-sacrificial, people pleasing impulses (no emotional blackmail)

No infantile defenses

No self-idealization or self-devaluation, just realistic introspection and self-awareness

Restored functioning: social, workplace, as a parent, empathy

No emoting by proxy (crying in a movie)

No trust aversion or dread of intimacy

No victimhood stance – assuming personal responsibility"

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onawah

17th September 2023, 05:18

Mourning Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse
Prof. Sam Vaknin
290K subscribers
Mar 15, 2023

"Mind of the Psychopathic Narcissist
When you break up with the narcissist, you literally fall apart. To end your grieving is to acknowledge and accept the loss of an object - but that object is YOU.
You cannot get over your bereavement because you are mourning yourself.

At first, during the lovebombing and grooming phase, the narcissist offers you unconditional love, as a mother would.
Then he idealizes you and causes you to become infatuated with your own idealized image.
He invites you into a simulation, a paracosm, a shared fantasy where you merge/fuse into a single selfobject.
Then he withdraws all these. He cancels YOU."

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(The more I listen to Vaknin's detailed and very insightful explanations of how narcassism works, the more I appreciate his unique perspective, and the more sense it all makes.
He deserves the accolades he has been receiving professionally for his accuracy.)

Flash

17th September 2023, 06:55

Very interesting to see Sam Vaknin with his wife, I am impressed with how much respect he seems to have for her and how much awareness there seems to be in their relationship.
I have listened to 100s of hours to Vaknin over the years when learning about narcissism.
All very insightful.

of course he has respect for her in public, it serves his image, it serves him. Nothing to do with her, with true respect for her being.

onawah

30th September 2023, 20:38

Narcissist Needs You to Fail Him, Let Go (with Azam Ali)
Prof. Sam Vaknin
292K subscribers
Aug 5, 2023

"Abuse in Relationships with Narcissists and Psychopaths
The narcissist enters a shared fantasy with a maternal figure (his intimate partner) only in order to separate from her (which he failed to accomplish with his biological mother). The intimate partner is expected to help the narcissist by acting the part of a rejecting, betraying mother. If she refuses, he tries to coerce her into this role and then devalues and discards her."

-bF2NyJ-ouI

(Yet another fascinating and very detailed description of what goes on inside a narcissist, in relationships especially.
Vaknin downplays the attraction narcissists feel towards empaths as partners in close relationships (he basically says they aren't that picky.)
Though he doesn't mention anything about how empaths are more easily tapped as energy "supply" and frequently are.
It's very interesting that he describes narcissists as not really being human beings, as they are never able to form an ego, indivuated from the mother.
I think this explains why they are also attractive vehicles for "discarnate entities" ie demonic beings, being so easy to control.)

onawah

21st October 2023, 23:13

American Psychosis/Chris Hedges on the US Empire of Narcissism and Psychopathy

(Hedges describes what happens when nations are headed by narcissists and psychopaths, as we see happening today.
He says, "The corporate state has made a war against critical thinking.")

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onawah

7th June 2024, 19:32

This source. Narc Con is the only one I've seen so far, I think, who addresses the issue of narcissists as being hosts to negative discarnate entities, or Archons (though she doesn't label them as such).
Though for many people that might be too woo woo, it makes perfect sense to me.

Here are a couple of her videos that address the spiritual issues that come up if you are an empath dealing with a narcissist.

The Narcissist Is The Gatekeeper Of Hell - How To Leave Them There
Narc Con
88K subscribers
Mar 29, 2024

"Spiritual Aspects of Narcissists
A relationship with a covert narcissist will bring a narcissist’s primary supply target as close to a living hell psychologically, spiritually, emotionally and physically as it is possible to go in terms of human relationships. So many people are either distracted or taken completely away from their life’s purpose and lose self belief as a direct result of a relationship with a narcissist. Understanding and educating ourselves thoroughly as to what npd actually means will greatly facilitate a healing journey post discard or devaluation by a narcissistic individual. This show explains how self belief is the key to remaining far away from the gates of a narcissist’s hell."

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How The Narcissist’s Dark Energy Realm Effects Yours - (Part 1)
Jun 7, 2024
"The #Covert Narcissist requires another’s human energy in order to maintain power to generate the false mask or persona they have created to interface with the world. They require clean full some positive energy to survive and will steal your energy without remorse dragging you into their low vibrational world in order to do so. When you are no longer in a positive mindset after spending time in the narcissist’s energy realm the narcissist has basically achieved their aim and elevated themselves to a superior position above you so to speak. It is important to educate ourselves in relation to these energies and energetic transactions that take place in a world we may not fully yet understand to protect ourselves. Healing and positive energy spaces and people are essential after spending too much time with an energy vampire that is a constant characteristic of a true narcissist in a close relationship setting."

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onawah

9th June 2024, 00:25

The Narcissist Is Possessed
Narc Con
88.1K subscribers
Nov 11, 2020

"People who are witness to the narcissist's mask dropping glean an insight into the spiritual energy present that is hidden from the world in general. This energy is dark and very shocking and not at all akin to the person or personality represented prior to the unveiling. It is such a dramatic difference that those who do get to really experience this sight are left without doubt that the narcissistic individual before them is being possessed.

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onawah

9th June 2024, 23:10

The Spirit Of Lucifer In The Narcissist - (Spiritual Aspect of Narcissism) - Part 1
Narc Con
88.1K subscribers
May 21, 2023

"The Devil is in the detail, and an analysis of a typical narcissists behaviors mirror the Spirit of Lucifer God's fallen angel, when studied over time. Psychology and Philosophy explain the narcissistic personality disorder very logically but can't alone explain the negative, destructive and sadistic drivers and behavior motivators fully. For a defensive mechanism, NPD is extremely destructive and dangerous for others who come into close contact with a Narcissist."

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More here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqMlluVUuaskOlA3qd-AC-xXltqaTSTW_

Sue (Ayt)

23rd June 2024, 20:43

Tintin

24th June 2024, 09:33

Dr. Karen Mitchell recently had her doctorate dissertation published in full as a pdf here (https://researchbank.swinburne.edu.au/file/15436c0d-4d4f-4506-b649-eb1129ab0390/1/karen_mitchell_thesis.pdf)

It makes for an interesting read!

It is long, 400+ pages, but goes into extensive details in her efforts to classify, document and expose general tactics across the board that are shared by both low-functioning and high-functioning "Dark Personalities" as she calls them.
She includes psychopaths, narcissists, and Machiavellians in her study of people of Dark Personality.

Dr. Mitchell also posts on X:
1794623754083201098

Yes, a dense yet well thought through exploration and thesis, at least at an abstract level (!) as this is lengthy at 500+ pages and I've not yet read it. She's effectively distilling the dark tetrad and its manifestation through use of social media, if her X post can be used as a reliable guide.

Great stuff :muscle:

onawah

20th October 2024, 20:02

Why Narcissists are Best Actors, Thespians
Prof. Sam Vaknin
380K subscribers
Oct 20, 2024

(This explains a lot, including why Hollyweird is so full of narcissists)

"Psychopathic Narcissists in Social Settings
1. They do not exist to start with. They can assume anyone’s identity with ease and to perfection, but then they are possessed by the character. They do not feel or know that they are acting. They believe their own confabulated narrative;

2. They feel more comfortable in fantasy than in reality;

3. Internal audiencing (imaginary audience) and self-supply (personal fable);

4. They have been rehearsing all their lives essentially the same lines;

5. They are charismatic, energetic (driven, addicted), and confident;

6. Cold empathy.

But their performance is tone deaf and awry. Something is off. Finally, it unravels because the narcissist cannot cathect for long."
(The meaning of CATHECT is to invest with mental or emotional energy.)

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onawah

25th November 2024, 00:30

How to Resurrect Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse: 9-fold Path of Healing
Prof. Sam Vaknin
386K subscribers
Sep 14, 2024

Therapies and Treatment Modalities

BODY

Attention (self-empathy)

Regulation (control)

Protection

MIND

Authenticity

Positivity

Mindfulness

FUNCTIONS

Vigilant Observer

Shielding Censor

Reality Sentinel

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onawah

25th December 2024, 05:43

Narcissists Who Disguise Darkness As Light
Surviving Narcissism
820K subscribers
11,787 views
Dec 21, 2024

(The points being made seem obvious, but that can be a stumbling block because when things seem very obvious we can tend to overlook or even discount them. )

"Narcissism itself can be understood as the dark side of an individual's personality. It blocks out self-awareness while feeding inappropriate patterns of relationships. Unwilling to admit this, narcissists will press forward while rationalizing their dark traits. Then they will portray themselves as beacons of light. Dr. C gives a 12 point check list showing how they are stuck in darkness."

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onawah

26th December 2024, 08:14

Alan Watts on Narcissism
(update: Before watching the video, best to be aware that I found out after posting it that it is AI fakery, and after realizing that, I checked out youtube and saw that there are a lot of faked Alan Watts talks being circulated there now. :facepalm: See the following posts for more about that. )

(He doesn't use the label "Narcissist", but the description he provides tallies with all the other descriptions I have seen so far.
He doesn't use the word "demon" either, though in my experience, narcissists can definitely be possessed by demons (I've actually seen them! :evil:)
But he certainly encourages the victims of Narcissists to stop allowing themselves to be victimized, and I think I needed to hear that message loud and clear once again.
Hearing it from Alan Watts is like hearing it from an old friend, so I can't ignore it.

The Narcissist in my life currently is yet another agency "caregiver" who has been coming once a week (for a couple of months now) to work for a few hours helping me with tasks I can no longer perform easily myself.
She doesn't show many overt signs of narcissism other than telling me details of her sad life story; she lives in a camper in an RV park with a depressed one-eyed disabled veteran and her teen-aged daughter from a previous relationship.
And by the annoying habit of not paying attention to details, so that I have to go around after she is gone to find things that she has left undone or done incorrectly, though it's never anything vital.
The one really clear but serious sign is that the whole day before she comes, I feel very enervated and a palpable sense of dread.
It's like her demon comes ahead of her and drains my energy, but I don't feel the drain when she is actually here.
I feel like I am going to have to report to the agency that I want a different caregiver.
It's difficult to do this when the reasons I may be asked to provide won't sound convincing, but I have to remember that one of the regular characteristics of the Narcissist is that they have people termed "flying monkeys" who help them to keep their acts going.
And sadly, some of the people who serve as the office staff of these agencies that provide "caregivers" are very likely flying monkeys, so I shouldn't be expecting real understanding coming from them either.
(In any case, I won't say that I feel my energy is being drained the day before she comes, because that would no doubt be considered delusional.)
Though I don't doubt that there are caregivers (or agency office staff) who are actually caring, I don't think many of them work for agencies who supply workers to low income people who, like me, are on Medicaid.
The latter workers get paid much less, and from my experience, seem to be composed primarily of people who cannot otherwise find much in the way of employment.
And I would venture to guess they are not at all held to the same standards

Anyway, at least now I know what my New Year's Resolution is going to be...

7 Signs Someone In Your Life Is A Demon | Alan Watts Motivational Speech
Impact Now
1.17K subscribers
Dec 24, 2024

Discover the hidden signs of toxic people and emotional manipulators with this eye-opening speech. Learn how to identify individuals who create chaos, manipulate through guilt, and erode your self-worth while offering actionable strategies to regain control of your life. Dive deep into the psychology of unhealthy relationships and unlock the tools to protect your peace and personal growth."

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ErtheVessel

26th December 2024, 17:15

Onawah, just wanted to gently mention that the "Alan Watts" video above is not actually Alan Watts. It's AI generated. A lot of channels are doing this now with well-known names, like Jordan Peterson, too. If you look at the description underneath the video, it says that the ideas they are presenting are inspired by Alan Watts, etc., but they do not claim to represent him. But then they use his picture and an AI generated version of his voice to fool people. I find this very underhanded on the part of content creators, but it's starting to happen a lot.

On another note, I wanted to offer the work of The Little Shaman. Someone may have mentioned her previously in this thread, but, if so, here she is again! She has had a podcast for quite awhile and I find her to be incredibly insightful. Here's her latest:

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As far as the energy draining from a narcissist, I know exactly what you mean. It's a very real thing and can absolutely happen at a distance. It's insidious and impossible to explain to someone who has never experienced it. Good luck with your caregiver situation, sounds really challenging.

onawah

26th December 2024, 18:46

Oh, WOW! You know, I thought it was strange that I was suddenly seeing all these talks online by Alan Watts on subjects I had never seen him speak about before!
And there was something about the talk that was "off" as far as the sound of the voice went.
I should have known,:o but thank you so much for the headsup, ErtheVessel! :flower::waving:

I am very creeped out by that AI :fie: but in any case, it did still move me to take action, and early in the wee hours this morning after posting the above message, I contacted Tammi, a former caregiver who I liked a lot and who also, as it turns out, is a night owl.
She had stopped working for a while because she had to have surgery, and I had to switch to a different agency when they had no one to replace her.
But she is fine, busy working again now and said she would be very happy to return as my caregiver.
So I emailed my representative at the Dept. of Human Services, and she emailed back this am, saying we only have until 12/30 to make the switch, but I think we can get it all done in time.
Tammi just has to decide if she wants to stay with her old agency or sign up with the one I'm signed up with now.
I then emailed my current caregiver to let her know; her next scheduled visit was 12/28, and I am feeling vastly relieved that I won't have to deal with her energy again. :sun:

ErtheVessel

26th December 2024, 22:52

So glad to hear the caregiver situation may be working out for you, onawah. YES!

onawah

4th February 2025, 21:14

Narcissists Know They're Abusive: New Interview with Dr. Peter Salerno
Kerry McAvoy, PhD
40.6K subscribers
Feb 3, 2025
Breaking Free Podcast Season 3

"Narcissists know they are being abusive--that what they're doing is manipulative and exploitative.

This week, Dr. Peter Salerno is back to discuss his latest book, Traumatizing Cognitive Dissonance. He discusses with Lisa Sonni why abusive relationships with narcissists leave survivors feeling psychologically battered and confused."

(Lots of good points made here.)

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Flash

5th February 2025, 15:11

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8QLgLfqh6s

onawah

24th February 2025, 22:57

The "Nice" Narcissist
Kris Reece
436K subscribers
Feb 14, 2025

(This one--which describes my most recent "caregiver"--was tricky to catch out, but I'm getting better at this, so it didn't take long.)

"In this episode, we dive into the 4 signs that reveal you're being fooled by a 'nice' narcissist - you don't want to miss these."

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Eva2

26th March 2025, 23:25

Words from a self-professed narcissist re his take on the "disorder" - found his understanding of this "condition" interesting, guess he would know!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20QTsUyUO8I?si=aVHadZ3J7QMjiu6m

onawah

6th June 2025, 17:24

Compassion Fatigue: What is it and do you have it? | Juliette Watt | TEDxFargo
TEDx Talks
43M subscribers
Nov 26, 2018

"In this compelling talk, Juliette introduces us to “Compassion Fatigue." A hugely pervasive syndrome that not only affects people like professional caregivers but also most of us one way or another. Juliette herself has suffered from Compassion Fatigue first hand and she is very passionate about sharing the insidious nature of this syndrome and the devastating effects it can have on your life. Compassion Fatigue can potentially happen to any age group. From people in their twenties right up to their senior years. It is an important, critical topic that Juliette has pulled out of the shadows so that we can recognize the symptoms and develop a renewed resilience to teach ourselves how to continue to give compassion without sacrificing ourselves and our lives. Born and raised in London, England, Juliette was a stunt horse rider for MGM pictures then later a London Playboy Bunny. From 18 she spent the next 20 years performing a one woman show in cabarets world-wide. In 1971 she moved to Beirut, Lebanon where she lived for 4 years during their vicious civil war.
Moving to NYC in her forties, she thrived as a soap opera scriptwriter, winning two Writers Guild Awards and a nomination for a Daytime Emmy. She then become an ATP pilot and Master Flight Instructor which led her to working for 10 years at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah, eventually flying rescue missions in New Orleans saving abused and abandoned dogs in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Over 6000 animals were saved.
Currently she is on a passionate mission to help and guide people who have lost themselves in who they've been for everyone else.
For more information and to contact Juliette, please visit her website: juliettewatt.com This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx "

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onawah

1st October 2025, 03:01

5 Signs You Are Dealing With an Empathic Narcissist
By Anna Drescher
January 23, 2024
Reviewed by
Saul McLeod, PhD & Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc
https://www.simplypsychology.org/empathic-narcissist.html

https://www.simplypsychology.org/wp-content/uploads/narcissistic-empathy-1024x683.jpeg

"When you first meet an empathic narcissist, it will not be obvious they are narcissistic unless you know the warning signs, some of which can be subtle.

They can seem very caring and supportive, especially at first, but their seeming empathy is a strategy to manipulate and control people.

When it comes to the more grandiose type of narcissist, the signs are usually clearer. They are overtly attention-seeking, extroverted, arrogant, and do not care about other people unless they want something.

That’s why when you meet an empathic narcissist, you may not think they are narcissistic because the classic warning signs are not as visible. To spot an empathic narcissist, look out for some of the signs described below.

However, keep in mind that these are not diagnostic, and only having one or two of these traits is not enough to indicate empathic narcissism.

1. Apparent Insightfulness
Empathic narcissists will give you the feeling they understand you deeply and know exactly what you want and need. But this apparent insightfulness is a result of mirroring and cognitive empathy rather than genuine care.

Narcissists are very good at mirroring; they mimic your body language and speech and emulate your interests, attitudes, and behaviors. This makes you feel validated and connected to them.

Their ability to read your mental states (cognitive empathy) makes you feel special and heard, and comfortable letting your guard down.

It’s easier to manipulate people when they trust and rely on you – and empathic narcissists use this to their advantage. You might even share your inner world, secrets, and fears with them, which they may later use against you.

2. Underhanded Superiority
All types of narcissists believe in their superiority, grandiosity, and entitlement. Initially and on the surface, empathic narcissists may seem caring, reserved, and humble – because that’s the façade they want to present to the world.

But if you pay close attention, you may notice their façade slipping from time to time and catch glimpses of their true colors even early in the relationship.

For example, they might make sweeping statements about people like “everyone who didn’t go to university is dumb”. Or they underhandedly put people down and gossip “I feel so sorry for Karen when everyone calls her ugly”.

3. Hypersensitivity to Criticism
Narcissists rely on external validation, attention, and admiration to maintain their self-esteem. That means they have a fragile ego, which is much more apparent in the vulnerable type than in the grandiose type.

Because of this fragility, they are hypersensitive to criticism and experience shame and anger when they perceive any negative feedback. They may withdraw or become outwardly angry at the “perpetrator”.

For example, if they ask whether you like their outfit and you give your honest opinion, they might sulk, become very upset, or lash out at you.

Thus, if you notice hypersensitivity to perceived criticism and negative feedback, and their reaction is disproportionate, it could be a sign of empathic narcissism and narcissism in general.

But note that hypersensitivity alone does not indicate narcissism – it could also just be a sign of low self-esteem.

4. Victim Mentality
Empathic narcissists feel like the victim in every situation. Nothing is ever their fault, and they never take responsibility.

If they failed an exam, it’s because the exam was unfair; if they received negative feedback at work, it’s because their managers are incompetent; if they trip over a stone, the stone was in the way – and so on.

Because they believe they are superior and perfect, they cannot accept blame, as this would challenge their sense of reality and self. So, they blame others, turn the tables, and can never be held accountable for their actions.

5. Covert Manipulation
Empathic narcissists use empathy to manipulate people and exert control over them – narcissists need control to get their narcissistic supply.

Thus, although they may appear to be doing things in your best interest, in reality, they are being nice and supportive for self-serving purposes. They want you to admire and depend on them and provide the validation they desperately need.

If they feel they might be losing control over you (e.g., you want to leave them or did not respond to their message immediately), they will try to regain control. They might give you the silent treatment, play the victim, emotionally blackmail you, or use any other tactic to manipulate you back under their control.

Another common manipulation tactic narcissists use to control people is gaslighting. So, if you notice gaslighting behavior and often feel confused or self-doubting after an interaction with them, you may be dealing with an empathic (or other type of) narcissist.

How to Deal With an Empathic Narcissist
How you deal with an empathic narcissist depends on the type of relationship you have with them. Overall, however, it is advisable to proceed with caution if you have any type of narcissist in your life.

Empathic narcissists can seem loving and kind at times, but they engage in many behaviors that are detrimental to the relationship and the person they are in a relationship with. The fact that they can seem so supportive and insightful makes the manipulative and callous behaviors especially confusing.

Like with other narcissists, you may not see their true colors at first or during the “love bombing” phase. Eventually, however, they will become more and more emotionally unstable, aggressive, manipulative, and derogatory. Many people experience a relationship with empathic narcissists like “walking on eggshells”.

Thus, having a relationship with them can be difficult, emotionally exhausting, and confusing. If you sense that your well-being is being negatively affected by having them in your life, it may be best to end the relationship or distance yourself from them.

Here is some general advice for dealing with an empathic narcissist:

Mindful Communication
As mentioned above, narcissists are hypersensitive to criticism and do not accept blame, so be mindful of this when you are communicating with them.

Do not expect them to take responsibility or apologize for poor behavior. If you point out any wrongdoing or flaws, you can expect that they will react badly – they might stonewall, insult, or threaten you, or play the victim.

Also, be mindful of their manipulation tactics. They will try to gaslight and control you so avoid getting caught up in that dynamic and stand firm in what you know and believe. Always try to remain calm and unemotional.

Choose Your Battles
Arguing with a narcissistic person can be exhausting and their tactics and antagonism can wear you down over time– so choose your battles.

In some cases, it might be better to let it go and get on with your day instead of engaging in what will inevitably lead to conflict. Remember, most narcissists never tire of arguing. They thrive on it because they see it as a challenge to emerge as the “winner” and love being at the center of your attention.

Set Boundaries
Narcissists break people’s boundaries down as this makes them easier to control and manipulate. Therefore, when you are dealing with a narcissistic person, it’s vital to establish and maintain firm boundaries.

That means, placing limits on the kind of behavior and language you will tolerate. If a boundary has been crossed, it’s important that you take action (e.g., end the conversation or walk away) and stay consistent.

Focus on Self-Care
Dealing with narcissists can take a toll on your well-being, regardless of whether that’s at work or in your private relationships. Therefore, it’s important to make sure you are prioritizing yourself.

Do things that bring you joy and peace and seek professional help if you feel that’s appropriate for you. Stay connected with friends and family and focus on spending time with people who are good for you and genuinely have your best interests at heart.

Remember, it’s not your job to heal or “save” them. If they are suffering, they should get professional help. Your only responsibility is to yourself and keeping yourself healthy and mentally well.

Cognitive vs. Affective Empathy
An empathic narcissist is a person with high levels of narcissism who understands people and their emotions i.e., a narcissist with empathy. But narcissism is a condition that’s normally associated with low levels or a complete lack of empathy so how can that be explained?

There are different forms of empathy as it is both an emotional and cognitive construct. Narcissism is associated with low affective empathy, but their cognitive empathy is generally intact.

Affective empathy means you can feel other people’s emotions and therefore understand why they feel the way they do. It’s the result of emotional contagion (the subconscious transferal of feelings on a mental and physiological level), which allows you to respond appropriately to another person’s emotional state.

Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand other people’s mental and emotional states without experiencing their emotions. It’s related to theory of mind: “The ability to explain, predict, and interpret behavior by attributing mental states such as desires, beliefs, intentions and emotions to oneself and to other people”

That means you need cognitive empathy to have affective empathy, as cognition is the starting point – but you do not need affective empathy to have cognitive empathy.

So, narcissists generally do have cognitive empathy because, without it, they would not be able to manipulate and exploit other people. Many narcissists do not pretend to be able to feel the emotions of others.

However, an empathic narcissist is a narcissist who outwardly acts as though they have affective empathy to manipulate and control.

Empathic narcissists are more aligned with the profile of vulnerable narcissists who hide their grandiosity and come across as shy and introverted. "