https://projectavalon.net/forum4/ en Thu, 04 Jun 2026 14:43:45 GMT vBulletin 30 https://projectavalon.net/forum4/images/misc/rss.png https://projectavalon.net/forum4/ https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?131324-Learned-to-trust-God..-the-hard-way&goto=newpost Wed, 03 Jun 2026 16:13:24 GMT Through all my experiences and psychotic episode I've learned a valuable lesson, and that is to trust God. I never used to think God paid any attention to little old me but then I got involved with something really quite obscure. My thoughts started talking to me, and to each other, which distracted me for quite a long time. There were constant questions that were really hard to answer, and the feeling of being in two places at once. At one point I thought I was doomed and that's the moment I decided I had no choice but to trust God

I know this will not apply to everyone, only a select few people need to hear this. Spirituality is really personal, and a lot depends on how you choose to look at things.

I'd still like to be an Angel even if it means giving up my free will. I just don't want to fight any more wars. Wars are supposed to end!

Lucifer is on Gods side again and I don't think anyone anticipated that but that's what I saw. God wants his Angels back.. all of them! ]]> Remarkable Personal Experiences petra https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?131324-Learned-to-trust-God..-the-hard-way https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?131309-Conclusion-from-my-past-year&goto=newpost Thu, 28 May 2026 14:47:53 GMT What happened to me last year was movie grade crazy, and some day I'll write it in a book and it will be a bestseller. I've talked about it again and again in various places. I'm not here to rehash it. :sun:

I just really need to say: humans are not mud.

This is an important thing I got from what happened to me last year. And although I'm still dealing with some archon-type things (and was reprimanded a long time for not being humble enough by my teacher last night), I know this is a hill I will die on. Humans are not mud.

We are different; that doesn't make us weak. It doesn't make us less. It doesn't make us bad. It doesn't make us any number of words and phrases taught to our ancestors by things that came from on high to encourage to stand less in the world and walk away from the rightful balance of the cosmos. This is a hill I will ***** die on. We are not mud.

If our home is our castle and they have their castle, they are not our lords and masters. They are not "above" us, nor are some "below" us. We're just different tribes that meet and sometimes work together.

In one breath I was told to be reverent and subservient, and while I did this because omigosh the "gods" were real, those same "gods" ate me alive. They actively blind you and ground you, and the spiritual community tells you it's just a 'shamanic crisis' or 'ego death' while you're actively being harvested. Or they say nothing at all while they themselves jump in like scavengers, so you have to figure it out for yourself with no idea where to begin looking.

In the other breath I was told to stand tall and be strong. I went to I don't know how many people for help and was pushed away by all walks of life: professional, spiritual--people who should have been in the know. I've literally been isolated for over a year now. "Ask the spirits what to do" and when you do, you get silence or gaslighting. Last night the reprimand and threat of contact cut was, essentially, that I don't honor the spirits properly and if I don't change my "posture" I can forget it. Victim blaming is all I can call some of it, because I was also told that the reason why all of that happened to me was because I wasn't humble enough and the universe was smacking me down.

When I walked into a spirit's hall and he yelled at me (rightfully so) for my rude interruption, I learned, adapted, and tried to be more respectful.
When I was lovebombed, I tried to learn more about my lovebomber's culture and the thing I had been brought into -- which is pretty respectful for the record.
There are other events.

Humans are not mud.

To survive I was forced to stop being reverent, to stand on my two feet, and look the monsters in the eye. I was forced beyond my personal belief system, forced to flex muscles I'd rather not because in the cosmos I prefer to be small and left alone - which is the way of the type of shamanism I'm learning. I prefer what my teacher says is the right way, but because I was forced to fight I'm a bad person.

But what I learned in the past year is the gods aren't gods. And when it comes to the spirits, I've a lifetime of being around things. Interactions. Since I was small. So suddenly I must adopt that humans are mud, that I must go against what I was taught by the spirits themselves.

But I'm captured to the farm. They literally lassoed my foot when I was standing by Saturn just to enjoy the view. I look at my life and I compare the sudden shift, and I see it for what it is.

So I just have to say it. Humans are not mud. We are not even baked clay. We're sentient. That's what matters most. :wonder: ]]> Remarkable Personal Experiences spearcarrier https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?131309-Conclusion-from-my-past-year