https://projectavalon.net/forum4/ en Tue, 04 Aug 2026 10:27:38 GMT vBulletin 30 https://projectavalon.net/forum4/images/misc/rss.png https://projectavalon.net/forum4/ https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?131514-Cancered-not-Cancelled&goto=newpost Sun, 02 Aug 2026 13:57:14 GMT Apologies for my silence of late. Allow me to explain why... and to share one of the conversations no one prepares you for.

"How's you?"
"How's your week been?"
"Fit like?"
"You alright?"
"What's new?"

They're some of the most ordinary questions we ask.
Most of us answer them without thinking.

"Not bad."
"Keeping busy."
"Can't complain."
Until one day...
...the answer changes.

Mine did. Not because cancer changed me overnight. Because it changed the conversations around me.

Recently, I was told I had cancer. Three words. That's all it took.
Not to change who I am. But to change how other people saw me.

Some people wrapped me in kindness.
Some didn't know what to say.
Some immediately tried to fix me.
Some reached for humour...
...then quickly realised there wasn't much to laugh about.
Some quietly disappeared.

And some, said nothing at all.

No one prepares you for that. They prepare you for the surgery.
The scans. The treatment. The waiting. But no one prepares you for the silence. Or the awkwardness. Or the strange feeling that, in some people's minds, your future has quietly been rewritten.

As though cancer doesn't just change your health, it changes the way other people imagine your future. Except, it doesn't.

Yes, my life has changed. And yes, I've had surgery with more Chemo to come...

I've experienced two agonising episodes of acute urinary retention, both requiring emergency catheterisation. They've left me wondering whether I'll ever face another catheter without fear.

I've heard words I never imagined would apply to me:

Chemotherapy. Recurrence. Risk.

But here's what cancer hasn't done.
It hasn't cancelled my curiosity or my purpose.

I'm still writing. I'm still building. I'm still planning. I'm still me.
There are still books I want to write. There are still people I want to help.

What has surprised me most isn't the diagnosis. It's what the diagnosis reveals.

It reveals who stays. Who checks in. Who keeps showing up.
Some people surprised me. Others didn't.

Who changes the subject because they simply don't know what to say.
Who quietly assumes you've stopped planning for the future.
And who just sits beside you...
...and reminds you that you're still you.

For me cancer is a diagnosis. It is not an identity.
Some days it occupies my thoughts. It doesn't get to occupy my life.

Perhaps that's the real conversation no one prepares us for.
Not how to live with cancer. But how to live beyond the assumptions that so often come with it.

So yes...
I've been cancered.
But I refuse to be cancelled.

Not by fear.
Not by assumptions.
Not by other people's expectations.
Not even by cancer itself.
Because while cancer may change your circumstances...
...it doesn't get to write the ending.

What's the conversation no one prepared you for?

Aye, it's good to be back. Thanks for listening. ]]> Culture and The Human Condition scotslad https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?131514-Cancered-not-Cancelled