The Project Avalon Community Forum - Religion https://projectavalon.net/forum4/ en Wed, 05 Aug 2026 01:09:33 GMT vBulletin 30 https://projectavalon.net/forum4/images/misc/rss.png The Project Avalon Community Forum - Religion https://projectavalon.net/forum4/ <![CDATA[The Inheritance of Belief: Salvaging What Matters & Not Drowning in What Follows]]> https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?131479-The-Inheritance-of-Belief-Salvaging-What-Matters-Not-Drowning-in-What-Follows&goto=newpost Mon, 20 Jul 2026 02:09:31 GMT
The Inheritance of Belief:
Salvaging What Matters
Not Drowning in What Follows

INTRO
As is typical of me, I've deliberately chosen to write from my own experience and, this time, I'm being especially careful not to overuse inclusive language That isn't intended to create distance. If anything, it's an attempt to leave more room for those reading.

This entry explores the inheritance of belief, what I've received, what I've carried and continue to carry, and what I've spent years trying to salvage.

The truth is, I'm torn. Some of the darker truths I've encountered have also proven to be among the most valuable. At the same time, I don't want the pursuit of those truths to diminish my appreciation for beauty, kindness, or the quieter moments that make life worth living.

There is still a part of me that wants to stop sharing. More than fear, perhaps, it's the weight of expectation and the peer pressure that so often basks in a light I've increasingly come to question.

Even so, I can't allow the tensions, rifts, and isolation that often follow when speaking honestly about those experiences to keep me silent.

================================

A LONG TIME AGO: Left to right:
Me with my arm around my brother (RIP), whose hand rests on my eldest son's shoulder. Then my youngest son and two daughters.


Peeling Back the Layers

My experience has shown me that faith is rarely something people simply abandon, despite how it is often described. More often than not, that journey is shaped by rejection, making it a long and painful one.

I've peeled back many layers, yet I don't think I'll ever truly "leave." Mostly because I've had genuine experiences that go beyond the emotional ones. I'd also add that whenever I pretend I can undo what's been done or unsee what's been seen, I find myself slipping back into the very patterns that once kept me blind. I can only fathom that this is why such a realization has taken me a lifetime.

The closer I get to the core, the easier it becomes to accept... what I've always known. Yet there are many forces that do not want me to make such a discovery, from the influences I can recognise to those I may never come to know, some of which may seek to deceive.

This has made redefining how I evaluate the underlying mechanisms dressed in different language, symbols, and narratives, regardless of where I find myself, all the more crucial. It has also led me to become increasingly cautious of systems of belief, New Age trends, rebranded concepts, and the many ways they may appeal to vulnerability during periods of uncertainty and transition.

Over time, I've found myself paying closer attention to how narratives are constructed. I've noticed recurring appeals to belonging, certainty, exclusivity, urgency, identity, and shared purpose. I've also noticed narratives that first explain an experience, then seek to shape the emotional response to it before presenting their solution. None of these patterns, by themselves, determine whether something is true or false, but I now find them just as worthy of examination as the conclusions themselves.

That shift in perspective has encouraged me to place less trust in ready-made answers and more trust in the process of honest observation, reflection, and discernment. Whatever conclusions I eventually reach, I'd rather they arise through genuine inquiry than through someone else's need to define my experiences for me.

It's been a long time since I've wanted to tackle all that has influenced me.

As I was writing this first reflection, I found myself unexpectedly revisiting far more than I'd anticipated. Rather than forcing those memories into a neat narrative, I've decided to let them sit for now.

Looking back, I realise I was shaped by many different influences. Some stayed with me, some quietly faded away, others took years to untangle, and a few still leave me asking questions.

I'll leave the following as a roadmap rather than as conclusions. Over time, I'll return to many of these individually, exploring what they meant to me, how they influenced my thinking, and why some remained while others eventually fell away.

=======================

Roadmap
Topics & Influences Yet to Explore

(Not in chronological order)

Jewish heritage and family traditions:

Mum's Jewish background
Menorah
Traditional Jewish friends
Visits and family memories

Zionist influences

Early exposure
Kibbutz [Almost... Thank the stars I did not!]
My sister's influence
Looking back with adult eyes

Evangelical Christianity

Assembly of God
The Jesus Movement
Public preaching
Revival meetings
White tents
Television cameras
Emotional atmosphere

Tribulation doctrine

Fear of the end times
Head-chopping films
Anxiety as a child
Waiting for parents to return
Pastoral counselling

My parents

Mum's preparations
Food storage
Fear culture
Purchasing Land in The Hills [Running to The Hills]
Dad [Step Dad] leaving the psychiatric hospital-
-Influence of the church over family life
Reading News Papers Band as too Going to Movies and What type of Jobs held

Childhood experiences

Street preaching -
Babysitting programs -
-Being beaten by strangers
• Church-run billeting and respite programs
- Parents taking a break
- Children placed with other families
- Whether financial incentives influenced the cult-system.
- My experiences and reflections - it was repetitive...

* Lead to:
Government children's home
Abuse and manipulation - Connect to Church - Orthodox & Xevangelical

Moving Towns:
Evangelical community To -
- Traditional Anglican community

People's reactions [moving from city to small town people talking]
I could not keep secrets and revealed to much by way of my nature... [ostracized by entire family for this trait - brother later apologized for it before he ended his life]

Teachers and neighbours - Parents embarresed.

Learning to question narratives... evolved naturally with my inherent traits.

Fear
Belonging
Exclusivity - Manufactured longing ← inclusive language methodology→ Reverse Pyschology
Certainty
Emotional conditioning
Authority

New Age influences

Similar patterns
Different language
Same mechanisms?
Group identity
Special knowledge
Emotional experiences
Online communities

Psychology of belief - The Method... As above - So Below

Music
Atmosphere
Crowd energy
Emotional reinforcement
Social pressure
Identity

My wife — My Angel. Although demonic when she wants to be. :bigsmile:

Helping me detach
Breaking the Chains
Beginning again

Salvaging what remains

What stayed
What fell away
What still feels true
What I continue to question

Genuine experiences

Experiences beyond emotion - Spiritual or Clinical?
Things I cannot simply dismiss...
Living with uncertainty...
_________________________________________

This will make sense as it connects to modern-day interpretations, while also offering another side to the Netflix version of the Jesus Movement.

Systematic coercion, medication, and personal identification can make such things hard to explore. That said, I no longer medicate and for a many years now have been working on identification issues through the likes of names I'll likely drop later, with a disclaimer on people-worshipping and the intellectual masturbation we are all prone to — as that relates to both Zen and Woo Woo. Just having a bit of fun there before logging off. ]]> Religion David_K https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?131479-The-Inheritance-of-Belief-Salvaging-What-Matters-Not-Drowning-in-What-Follows