Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
Quote:
Posted by
Sue (Ayt)
Dr. Karen Mitchell recently had her doctorate dissertation published in full as a pdf
here
It makes for an interesting read!
It is long, 400+ pages, but goes into extensive details in her efforts to classify, document and expose general tactics across the board that are shared by both low-functioning and high-functioning "Dark Personalities" as she calls them.
She includes psychopaths, narcissists, and Machiavellians in her study of people of Dark Personality.
Dr. Mitchell also posts on X:
Yes, a dense yet well thought through exploration and thesis, at least at an abstract level (!) as this is lengthy at 500+ pages and I've not yet read it. She's effectively distilling the dark tetrad and its manifestation through use of social media, if her X post can be used as a reliable guide.
Great stuff :muscle:
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
Why Narcissists are Best Actors, Thespians
Prof. Sam Vaknin
380K subscribers
Oct 20, 2024
(This explains a lot, including why Hollyweird is so full of narcissists)
"Psychopathic Narcissists in Social Settings
1. They do not exist to start with. They can assume anyone’s identity with ease and to perfection, but then they are possessed by the character. They do not feel or know that they are acting. They believe their own confabulated narrative;
2. They feel more comfortable in fantasy than in reality;
3. Internal audiencing (imaginary audience) and self-supply (personal fable);
4. They have been rehearsing all their lives essentially the same lines;
5. They are charismatic, energetic (driven, addicted), and confident;
6. Cold empathy.
But their performance is tone deaf and awry. Something is off. Finally, it unravels because the narcissist cannot cathect for long."
(The meaning of CATHECT is to invest with mental or emotional energy.)
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
How to Resurrect Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse: 9-fold Path of Healing
Prof. Sam Vaknin
386K subscribers
Sep 14, 2024
Therapies and Treatment Modalities
BODY
Attention (self-empathy)
Regulation (control)
Protection
MIND
Authenticity
Positivity
Mindfulness
FUNCTIONS
Vigilant Observer
Shielding Censor
Reality Sentinel
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
Narcissists Who Disguise Darkness As Light
Surviving Narcissism
820K subscribers
11,787 views
Dec 21, 2024
(The points being made seem obvious, but that can be a stumbling block because when things seem very obvious we can tend to overlook or even discount them. )
"Narcissism itself can be understood as the dark side of an individual's personality. It blocks out self-awareness while feeding inappropriate patterns of relationships. Unwilling to admit this, narcissists will press forward while rationalizing their dark traits. Then they will portray themselves as beacons of light. Dr. C gives a 12 point check list showing how they are stuck in darkness."
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
Alan Watts on Narcissism
(update: Before watching the video, best to be aware that I found out after posting it that it is AI fakery, and after realizing that, I checked out youtube and saw that there are a lot of faked Alan Watts talks being circulated there now. :facepalm: See the following posts for more about that. )
(He doesn't use the label "Narcissist", but the description he provides tallies with all the other descriptions I have seen so far.
He doesn't use the word "demon" either, though in my experience, narcissists can definitely be possessed by demons (I've actually seen them! :evil:)
But he certainly encourages the victims of Narcissists to stop allowing themselves to be victimized, and I think I needed to hear that message loud and clear once again.
Hearing it from Alan Watts is like hearing it from an old friend, so I can't ignore it.
The Narcissist in my life currently is yet another agency "caregiver" who has been coming once a week (for a couple of months now) to work for a few hours helping me with tasks I can no longer perform easily myself.
She doesn't show many overt signs of narcissism other than telling me details of her sad life story; she lives in a camper in an RV park with a depressed one-eyed disabled veteran and her teen-aged daughter from a previous relationship.
And by the annoying habit of not paying attention to details, so that I have to go around after she is gone to find things that she has left undone or done incorrectly, though it's never anything vital.
The one really clear but serious sign is that the whole day before she comes, I feel very enervated and a palpable sense of dread.
It's like her demon comes ahead of her and drains my energy, but I don't feel the drain when she is actually here.
I feel like I am going to have to report to the agency that I want a different caregiver.
It's difficult to do this when the reasons I may be asked to provide won't sound convincing, but I have to remember that one of the regular characteristics of the Narcissist is that they have people termed "flying monkeys" who help them to keep their acts going.
And sadly, some of the people who serve as the office staff of these agencies that provide "caregivers" are very likely flying monkeys, so I shouldn't be expecting real understanding coming from them either.
(In any case, I won't say that I feel my energy is being drained the day before she comes, because that would no doubt be considered delusional.)
Though I don't doubt that there are caregivers (or agency office staff) who are actually caring, I don't think many of them work for agencies who supply workers to low income people who, like me, are on Medicaid.
The latter workers get paid much less, and from my experience, seem to be composed primarily of people who cannot otherwise find much in the way of employment.
And I would venture to guess they are not at all held to the same standards
Anyway, at least now I know what my New Year's Resolution is going to be...
7 Signs Someone In Your Life Is A Demon | Alan Watts Motivational Speech
Impact Now
1.17K subscribers
Dec 24, 2024
Discover the hidden signs of toxic people and emotional manipulators with this eye-opening speech. Learn how to identify individuals who create chaos, manipulate through guilt, and erode your self-worth while offering actionable strategies to regain control of your life. Dive deep into the psychology of unhealthy relationships and unlock the tools to protect your peace and personal growth."
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
Onawah, just wanted to gently mention that the "Alan Watts" video above is not actually Alan Watts. It's AI generated. A lot of channels are doing this now with well-known names, like Jordan Peterson, too. If you look at the description underneath the video, it says that the ideas they are presenting are inspired by Alan Watts, etc., but they do not claim to represent him. But then they use his picture and an AI generated version of his voice to fool people. I find this very underhanded on the part of content creators, but it's starting to happen a lot.
On another note, I wanted to offer the work of The Little Shaman. Someone may have mentioned her previously in this thread, but, if so, here she is again! She has had a podcast for quite awhile and I find her to be incredibly insightful. Here's her latest:
As far as the energy draining from a narcissist, I know exactly what you mean. It's a very real thing and can absolutely happen at a distance. It's insidious and impossible to explain to someone who has never experienced it. Good luck with your caregiver situation, sounds really challenging.
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
Oh, WOW! You know, I thought it was strange that I was suddenly seeing all these talks online by Alan Watts on subjects I had never seen him speak about before!
And there was something about the talk that was "off" as far as the sound of the voice went.
I should have known,:o but thank you so much for the headsup, ErtheVessel! :flower::waving:
I am very creeped out by that AI :fie: but in any case, it did still move me to take action, and early in the wee hours this morning after posting the above message, I contacted Tammi, a former caregiver who I liked a lot and who also, as it turns out, is a night owl.
She had stopped working for a while because she had to have surgery, and I had to switch to a different agency when they had no one to replace her.
But she is fine, busy working again now and said she would be very happy to return as my caregiver.
So I emailed my representative at the Dept. of Human Services, and she emailed back this am, saying we only have until 12/30 to make the switch, but I think we can get it all done in time.
Tammi just has to decide if she wants to stay with her old agency or sign up with the one I'm signed up with now.
I then emailed my current caregiver to let her know; her next scheduled visit was 12/28, and I am feeling vastly relieved that I won't have to deal with her energy again. :sun:
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
So glad to hear the caregiver situation may be working out for you, onawah. YES!
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
Narcissists Know They're Abusive: New Interview with Dr. Peter Salerno
Kerry McAvoy, PhD
40.6K subscribers
Feb 3, 2025
Breaking Free Podcast Season 3
"Narcissists know they are being abusive--that what they're doing is manipulative and exploitative.
This week, Dr. Peter Salerno is back to discuss his latest book, Traumatizing Cognitive Dissonance. He discusses with Lisa Sonni why abusive relationships with narcissists leave survivors feeling psychologically battered and confused."
(Lots of good points made here.)
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
The "Nice" Narcissist
Kris Reece
436K subscribers
Feb 14, 2025
(This one--which describes my most recent "caregiver"--was tricky to catch out, but I'm getting better at this, so it didn't take long.)
"In this episode, we dive into the 4 signs that reveal you're being fooled by a 'nice' narcissist - you don't want to miss these."
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
Words from a self-professed narcissist re his take on the "disorder" - found his understanding of this "condition" interesting, guess he would know!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=20QTsUyUO8I?si=aVHadZ3J7QMjiu6m
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
Compassion Fatigue: What is it and do you have it? | Juliette Watt | TEDxFargo
TEDx Talks
43M subscribers
Nov 26, 2018
"In this compelling talk, Juliette introduces us to “Compassion Fatigue." A hugely pervasive syndrome that not only affects people like professional caregivers but also most of us one way or another. Juliette herself has suffered from Compassion Fatigue first hand and she is very passionate about sharing the insidious nature of this syndrome and the devastating effects it can have on your life. Compassion Fatigue can potentially happen to any age group. From people in their twenties right up to their senior years. It is an important, critical topic that Juliette has pulled out of the shadows so that we can recognize the symptoms and develop a renewed resilience to teach ourselves how to continue to give compassion without sacrificing ourselves and our lives. Born and raised in London, England, Juliette was a stunt horse rider for MGM pictures then later a London Playboy Bunny. From 18 she spent the next 20 years performing a one woman show in cabarets world-wide. In 1971 she moved to Beirut, Lebanon where she lived for 4 years during their vicious civil war.
Moving to NYC in her forties, she thrived as a soap opera scriptwriter, winning two Writers Guild Awards and a nomination for a Daytime Emmy. She then become an ATP pilot and Master Flight Instructor which led her to working for 10 years at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah, eventually flying rescue missions in New Orleans saving abused and abandoned dogs in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Over 6000 animals were saved.
Currently she is on a passionate mission to help and guide people who have lost themselves in who they've been for everyone else.
For more information and to contact Juliette, please visit her website: juliettewatt.com This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx "
Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey
5 Signs You Are Dealing With an Empathic Narcissist
By Anna Drescher
January 23, 2024
Reviewed by
Saul McLeod, PhD & Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc
https://www.simplypsychology.org/emp...arcissist.html
https://www.simplypsychology.org/wp-...-1024x683.jpeg
"When you first meet an empathic narcissist, it will not be obvious they are narcissistic unless you know the warning signs, some of which can be subtle.
They can seem very caring and supportive, especially at first, but their seeming empathy is a strategy to manipulate and control people.
When it comes to the more grandiose type of narcissist, the signs are usually clearer. They are overtly attention-seeking, extroverted, arrogant, and do not care about other people unless they want something.
That’s why when you meet an empathic narcissist, you may not think they are narcissistic because the classic warning signs are not as visible. To spot an empathic narcissist, look out for some of the signs described below.
However, keep in mind that these are not diagnostic, and only having one or two of these traits is not enough to indicate empathic narcissism.
1. Apparent Insightfulness
Empathic narcissists will give you the feeling they understand you deeply and know exactly what you want and need. But this apparent insightfulness is a result of mirroring and cognitive empathy rather than genuine care.
Narcissists are very good at mirroring; they mimic your body language and speech and emulate your interests, attitudes, and behaviors. This makes you feel validated and connected to them.
Their ability to read your mental states (cognitive empathy) makes you feel special and heard, and comfortable letting your guard down.
It’s easier to manipulate people when they trust and rely on you – and empathic narcissists use this to their advantage. You might even share your inner world, secrets, and fears with them, which they may later use against you.
2. Underhanded Superiority
All types of narcissists believe in their superiority, grandiosity, and entitlement. Initially and on the surface, empathic narcissists may seem caring, reserved, and humble – because that’s the façade they want to present to the world.
But if you pay close attention, you may notice their façade slipping from time to time and catch glimpses of their true colors even early in the relationship.
For example, they might make sweeping statements about people like “everyone who didn’t go to university is dumb”. Or they underhandedly put people down and gossip “I feel so sorry for Karen when everyone calls her ugly”.
3. Hypersensitivity to Criticism
Narcissists rely on external validation, attention, and admiration to maintain their self-esteem. That means they have a fragile ego, which is much more apparent in the vulnerable type than in the grandiose type.
Because of this fragility, they are hypersensitive to criticism and experience shame and anger when they perceive any negative feedback. They may withdraw or become outwardly angry at the “perpetrator”.
For example, if they ask whether you like their outfit and you give your honest opinion, they might sulk, become very upset, or lash out at you.
Thus, if you notice hypersensitivity to perceived criticism and negative feedback, and their reaction is disproportionate, it could be a sign of empathic narcissism and narcissism in general.
But note that hypersensitivity alone does not indicate narcissism – it could also just be a sign of low self-esteem.
4. Victim Mentality
Empathic narcissists feel like the victim in every situation. Nothing is ever their fault, and they never take responsibility.
If they failed an exam, it’s because the exam was unfair; if they received negative feedback at work, it’s because their managers are incompetent; if they trip over a stone, the stone was in the way – and so on.
Because they believe they are superior and perfect, they cannot accept blame, as this would challenge their sense of reality and self. So, they blame others, turn the tables, and can never be held accountable for their actions.
5. Covert Manipulation
Empathic narcissists use empathy to manipulate people and exert control over them – narcissists need control to get their narcissistic supply.
Thus, although they may appear to be doing things in your best interest, in reality, they are being nice and supportive for self-serving purposes. They want you to admire and depend on them and provide the validation they desperately need.
If they feel they might be losing control over you (e.g., you want to leave them or did not respond to their message immediately), they will try to regain control. They might give you the silent treatment, play the victim, emotionally blackmail you, or use any other tactic to manipulate you back under their control.
Another common manipulation tactic narcissists use to control people is gaslighting. So, if you notice gaslighting behavior and often feel confused or self-doubting after an interaction with them, you may be dealing with an empathic (or other type of) narcissist.
How to Deal With an Empathic Narcissist
How you deal with an empathic narcissist depends on the type of relationship you have with them. Overall, however, it is advisable to proceed with caution if you have any type of narcissist in your life.
Empathic narcissists can seem loving and kind at times, but they engage in many behaviors that are detrimental to the relationship and the person they are in a relationship with. The fact that they can seem so supportive and insightful makes the manipulative and callous behaviors especially confusing.
Like with other narcissists, you may not see their true colors at first or during the “love bombing” phase. Eventually, however, they will become more and more emotionally unstable, aggressive, manipulative, and derogatory. Many people experience a relationship with empathic narcissists like “walking on eggshells”.
Thus, having a relationship with them can be difficult, emotionally exhausting, and confusing. If you sense that your well-being is being negatively affected by having them in your life, it may be best to end the relationship or distance yourself from them.
Here is some general advice for dealing with an empathic narcissist:
Mindful Communication
As mentioned above, narcissists are hypersensitive to criticism and do not accept blame, so be mindful of this when you are communicating with them.
Do not expect them to take responsibility or apologize for poor behavior. If you point out any wrongdoing or flaws, you can expect that they will react badly – they might stonewall, insult, or threaten you, or play the victim.
Also, be mindful of their manipulation tactics. They will try to gaslight and control you so avoid getting caught up in that dynamic and stand firm in what you know and believe. Always try to remain calm and unemotional.
Choose Your Battles
Arguing with a narcissistic person can be exhausting and their tactics and antagonism can wear you down over time– so choose your battles.
In some cases, it might be better to let it go and get on with your day instead of engaging in what will inevitably lead to conflict. Remember, most narcissists never tire of arguing. They thrive on it because they see it as a challenge to emerge as the “winner” and love being at the center of your attention.
Set Boundaries
Narcissists break people’s boundaries down as this makes them easier to control and manipulate. Therefore, when you are dealing with a narcissistic person, it’s vital to establish and maintain firm boundaries.
That means, placing limits on the kind of behavior and language you will tolerate. If a boundary has been crossed, it’s important that you take action (e.g., end the conversation or walk away) and stay consistent.
Focus on Self-Care
Dealing with narcissists can take a toll on your well-being, regardless of whether that’s at work or in your private relationships. Therefore, it’s important to make sure you are prioritizing yourself.
Do things that bring you joy and peace and seek professional help if you feel that’s appropriate for you. Stay connected with friends and family and focus on spending time with people who are good for you and genuinely have your best interests at heart.
Remember, it’s not your job to heal or “save” them. If they are suffering, they should get professional help. Your only responsibility is to yourself and keeping yourself healthy and mentally well.
Cognitive vs. Affective Empathy
An empathic narcissist is a person with high levels of narcissism who understands people and their emotions i.e., a narcissist with empathy. But narcissism is a condition that’s normally associated with low levels or a complete lack of empathy so how can that be explained?
There are different forms of empathy as it is both an emotional and cognitive construct. Narcissism is associated with low affective empathy, but their cognitive empathy is generally intact.
Affective empathy means you can feel other people’s emotions and therefore understand why they feel the way they do. It’s the result of emotional contagion (the subconscious transferal of feelings on a mental and physiological level), which allows you to respond appropriately to another person’s emotional state.
Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand other people’s mental and emotional states without experiencing their emotions. It’s related to theory of mind: “The ability to explain, predict, and interpret behavior by attributing mental states such as desires, beliefs, intentions and emotions to oneself and to other people”
That means you need cognitive empathy to have affective empathy, as cognition is the starting point – but you do not need affective empathy to have cognitive empathy.
So, narcissists generally do have cognitive empathy because, without it, they would not be able to manipulate and exploit other people. Many narcissists do not pretend to be able to feel the emotions of others.
However, an empathic narcissist is a narcissist who outwardly acts as though they have affective empathy to manipulate and control.
Empathic narcissists are more aligned with the profile of vulnerable narcissists who hide their grandiosity and come across as shy and introverted. "
