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Thread: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Great videos and pictures Bill! Much appreciated.

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Hi Bill,

    as someone with a good objective world view, what are your thoughts on the escalating situation of Trump not ruling out military force to obtain Greenland and Panama (by his own admission), or using financial extorsion to get his way in these two countries, Mexico as well as Canada as it's 51st state? We thought at first it seemed like a negotiation tactic but something seems very wrong here.

    Please feel free to move this to a new thread as it would be interesting to see our US neighbours point of view on this, as well as our many European and worldwide members'.

    Cheers,

    Michael.

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Quote Posted by truthseek (here)
    Hi Bill,

    as someone with a good objective world view, what are your thoughts on the escalating situation of Trump not ruling out military force to obtain Greenland and Panama (by his own admission), or using financial extorsion to get his way in these two countries, Mexico as well as Canada as it's 51st state? We thought at first it seemed like a negotiation tactic but something seems very wrong here.

    Please feel free to move this to a new thread as it would be interesting to see our US neighbours point of view on this, as well as our many European and worldwide members'.

    Cheers,

    Michael.
    Like almost everyone else, I'd first assumed he was just trolling and 'being Trump'. But now it appears to be more serious and premeditated, and maybe the start of a kind of PR war all about extending the US's strategic influence.

    There's no way that the US would ever militarily invade Greenland (or Canada!). But more and more geopolitical strategic maneuvers are now all about energy and resources. That's what much of the next 10 years will be about, and of course it's already well in play.

    My guess is that by making a bunch of apparently extreme statements that are at first sight hard to understand or even believe, Trump has deliberately made this a talking point all over the world to raise the issue everywhere.

    Not only the Canadians, Mexicans and Danes are paying attention, but also the Russians and Chinese, not to mention everyone in the EU. So I'd suggest he's already achieved his first objective, to open up a major discussion.

    My personal view (at the moment) is that it's not quite as brazen and immoral as outright US imperialism, but it's just as unacceptable. As above, it's all about competition for and control of resources. And that never ends well.

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    The guy you met at the Zurich conference in 2009 called Philippe, do you really think he was the Count of Saint Germaine?

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Quote Posted by Tlevis (here)
    The guy you met at the Zurich conference in 2009 called Philippe, do you really think he was the Count of Saint Germaine?
    No. He was someone fairly significant, but I never discovered anything else about him.

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Have you watched the latest Why Files Bill? It made me think about your predictions regarding the USA cataclysm:


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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    I have a question for you, Bill, about someone/information you presented a LONG TIME AGO in A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY… or so it seems. Kind of ancient history by now but I guess in the interest of completion, I decided to ask it. It might be trudging nearby some very sensitive personal terrain for you so if best to disregard my question for that reason is totally fine.

    So here goes…

    Whatever became of your work to share the ‘Unplugging the Patriarchy’ material from Lucia Rene?

    I ask because it sorta seems like..the idea that it got unplugged was a bit pre-emptively self congratulatory.

    Just my take.


    I was intrigued by your interview with Lucia and her connection with the Anza Borrego Desert via her ‘mentor/teacher’, the “twilight master” known as Rama. I bought and read the book, paid for a one on one session with Lucia, did some of her group calls, posted about it here on Avalon (and got the wall of ‘you are a spiritually naieve idiot’ pile on in response to that sharing… <eye roll> …) so, yeah. I walked away from my “oh no, not another learning experience!” with some painful wisdom and a bit more humble than before. Both useful things to gain, none of it very fun to live through in the outplay of event though.

    Anyways, just curious to know where you were at with that ‘phase’. I said ‘A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY” above because it seems like that was a whole other lifetime ago. The compression here has felt like 1000 dog years or something equivalent, if you know what I mean. Anyways… no hard feelings or upset on my part, I just wondered.

    PS: I just read for the first time your post on orbs from roughly the same time frame, circa 2011 or so, and the cool pic of you with the Sequoia trees in Yosemite. So cool. It made me think of the Bob Dylan lyric, “was in another lifetime…” from ‘Shelter from the Storm’. Surely this lifetime counts as more than one, right? Feels like it anyways…
    Attentiveness without aim is the supreme form of prayer - Simone Weil
    I was only the void, pretending to be a man, pretending not to know the void. Sit in fool and be fool, that is all. - Jack Kerouak from Desolation Angels

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Quote Posted by Sirus (here)
    Have you watched the latest Why Files Bill? It made me think about your predictions regarding the USA cataclysm:

    Thanks, and yes, I watched that with interest. (The thesis in the video, which is called The Quantum Apocalypse, is that quantum computing, which can now break any encryption of any kind, may have a very significant effect on every transaction, communication and personal freedom by the end of the decade.)

    But as best I know and can sense, this is unrelated to what I felt I perceived (or was 'told') which I shared last month on the More predictions (maybe) thread. I really did 'see' a major grid down emergency, caused by a natural event (I think a solar one) that would pretty much bring the US to its knees.


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    UK Avalon Founder Bill Ryan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)

    Quote Posted by Listkov (here)
    Also, any intention on releasing new videos to the general public? The comments on your youtube channel are full of people who are wondering where you went off to. Although, this forum being in your "about" tab, the answer isn't exactly hidden
    I've been thinking about this for several days, and the more I thought about it the longer my potential reply seemed to get. (Maybe quite a interesting one, too.)
    It's about time that I did my best to answer this question, which I've not forgotten. It has quite a lot of components and moving parts, which I'll present below as a kind of list of items which all fit together synergistically, as it were.

    These points are in no special order. They're all independent, but one might be able to see how they all work together.

    ~~~
    • I've posted several times on this thread, and also on a number of others, that I'm fairly disillusioned — maybe a mild word! — with much in the social media community, and even the community of so-called 'alternative researchers'.

      I abhor the egotism,the dramatic bumper music, the desperate attempts on video thumbnails to attract attention in any way possible, the 'look-at-me' drama, the creation of celebrities, the competitiveness, the clickbait, the paywalls (to access 'special content'), and the rampant $$ commercialization.

      I've argued that there's a kind of Stockholm Syndrome in play in which the YouTube, Rumble and Bitchute communities, not to mention screamingly commercial sites like Infowars, with 'EMERGENCY BROADCASTS' literally every other day(!) are increasingly copying all the traits of the mainstream. I want no part of that.
    • I'm periodically asked to appear on podcasts as a guest, but I always decline. I don't need to be a celebrity. Actor and comedian Jim Carrey, when explaining in a media interview why he'd taken the decision to retire, famously said: "I've done enough. I am enough."
    • Several years ago, a young but extraordinarily gifted Avalon member contacted me to give me a message that they said they'd received, loud and clear as a bell, when meditating one day. The message was simple. This is the paraphrase:

      You can relax. Your life's work is already done. Everything else you experience now is a bonus.
    • As many readers may understand, I really do see life on this planet — everything on this planet — from the hundred thousand foot level. (Or maybe the hundred light-year level. ) Some may know that over the last two years — and also at various interludes many years earlier — I feel I've been gifted a little as if with an ET's view of the world.

      Some of that, which kind of encompasses and takes into account vast periods of time, is reinforced by my own vivid recalls of past lives. That alone can do a huge amount to put one's own current one human life in perspective.

      Not only that, but (as many readers may also know) I lived in Tibet for the best part of 1000 years prior to purposefully reincarnating in the 'west' in 1850. I was deeply committed to spiritual practice, was an adept of sorts, and a core part of those many lifetimes of spiritual training, knowledge and worldview was very much a parallel to the 'ET' view I tried to describe just above. That view is elevated and largely disconnected from the everyday human dramas that occupy most of us most of the time.

      Of course, that choice to reincarnate in the west was a bumpy ride. My current incarnation, and identity as 'Bill Ryan', is the fourth since then. Only in this lifetime have I even begun to reclaim some of the attributes that I worked very hard to attain when in Tibet. Like an athlete who suffered a broken leg, it takes a while to be able to run again. Lost abilities eventually return if one continues to work hard, but the rehabilitation isn't instant or guaranteed. It can sometimes take many lifetimes, many more than just four, to get 'back on the horse' again.
    • Doug (thepainterdoug) posted a terrific thread titled Is it all just EGO, "Team" and Tribe? As always, Doug posted a terrific question. I never replied on the thread, for much the same set of reasons as it's taken me so long to share my thoughts in this new post here.

      But related to his question, and I think intertwined, is that the disquieting truth is that much of what we often obsess with every day — political dramas, terrible events, concerning problems, and much much more — is a kind of Reality TV. When I was just 23, in my first job as a teacher, I had a discussion with one of the senior teachers at the school I was at, one of Britain's most prestigious. This other teacher was maintaining that it was so very valuable and educational to watch and follow the TV news every day.

      "But it's just entertainment", I said.

      She scoffed. "Of course it's not," she said. "It's important information for us all."

      So I asked her what had been on the news the previous evening. She couldn't remember.

      (And the internet is rather like that, too. )
    • A few years ago, I posted a thread called The Impermanence of All Things. I was stimulated to do that by visiting some old Inca ruins deep in the mountains here, the remains of some simple huts that were maybe 500 years old. It had quite an effect on me. I wondered who had lived there, what their hopes and dreams were, 'saw' the children playing in the nearby river, what their trials had been, what they thought and felt and struggles with and strived for in their lives.

      And now it was all gone. Just dust in the labyrinthine corridors of history.

      In my opening post of that thread, I wrote:

      ~~~

      We frail humans always try to hang on. We hang on to everything we want never to go away, never to be without. But it’s all futile and hopeless. We kid ourselves, we collect our stuff, we collect our people, we never, ever, really want to let go of anything or anyone.

      But in the end, we always must.

      I felt the Incas (and the backpack thief) taught me quite a lesson last weekend. From Shelley, the great English poet:

      I met a traveller from an antique land

      Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
      Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
      Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
      And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
      Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
      Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
      The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
      And on the pedestal these words appear:

      "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
      Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

      Nothing beside remains: round the decay
      Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
      The lone and level sands stretch far away.


    And so I need to try to conclude this post. What I've written is not fatalistic, far from it. It's liberating. My life is simple, but very rich. There's little that I want or need. Small things give great pleasure. I try to be kind, aware that everything I say and do is a choice. I don't dwell on the past. The future before me is infinite. I am consciously thankful for many things each day.

    And at some time in the distant future, looking back on this human year we now call '2025', nothing that we now read or hear on the internet that happened yesterday, or will happen today, is likely to matter all that much.

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  19. Link to Post #1810
    Avalon Member Flash's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)

    Quote Posted by Listkov (here)
    Also, any intention on releasing new videos to the general public? The comments on your youtube channel are full of people who are wondering where you went off to. Although, this forum being in your "about" tab, the answer isn't exactly hidden
    I've been thinking about this for several days, and the more I thought about it the longer my potential reply seemed to get. (Maybe quite a interesting one, too.)
    It's about time that I did my best to answer this question, which I've not forgotten. It has quite a lot of components and moving parts, which I'll present below as a kind of list of items which all fit together synergistically, as it were.

    These points are in no special order. They're all independent, but one might be able to see how they all work together.

    ~~~
    • I've posted several times on this thread, and also on a number of others, that I'm fairly disillusioned — maybe a mild word! — with much in the social media community, and even the community of so-called 'alternative researchers'.

      I abhor the egotism,the dramatic bumper music, the desperate attempts on video thumbnails to attract attention in any way possible, the 'look-at-me' drama, the creation of celebrities, the competitiveness, the clickbait, the paywalls (to access 'special content'), and the rampant $$ commercialization.

      I've argued that there's a kind of Stockholm Syndrome in play in which the YouTube, Rumble and Bitchute communities, not to mention screamingly commercial sites like Infowars, with 'EMERGENCY BROADCASTS' literally every other day(!) are increasingly copying all the traits of the mainstream. I want no part of that.
    • I'm periodically asked to appear on podcasts as a guest, but I always decline. I don't need to be a celebrity. Actor and comedian Jim Carrey, when explaining in a media interview why he'd taken the decision to retire, famously said: "I've done enough. I am enough."
    • Several years ago, a young but extraordinarily gifted Avalon member contacted me to give me a message that they said they'd received, loud and clear as a bell, when meditating one day. The message was simple. This is the paraphrase:

      You can relax. Your life's work is already done. Everything else you experience now is a bonus.
    • As many readers may understand, I really do see life on this planet — everything on this planet — from the hundred thousand foot level. (Or maybe the hundred light-year level. ) Some may know that over the last two years — and also at various interludes many years earlier — I feel I've been gifted a little as if with an ET's view of the world.

      Some of that, which kind of encompasses and takes into account vast periods of time, is reinforced by my own vivid recalls of past lives. That alone can do a huge amount to put one's own current one human life in perspective.

      Not only that, but (as many readers may also know) I lived in Tibet for the best part of 1000 years prior to purposefully reincarnating in the 'west' in 1850. I was deeply committed to spiritual practice, was an adept of sorts, and a core part of those many lifetimes of spiritual training, knowledge and worldview was very much a parallel to the 'ET' view I tried to describe just above. That view is elevated and largely disconnected from the everyday human dramas that occupy most of us most of the time.

      Of course, that choice to reincarnate in the west was a bumpy ride. My current incarnation, and identity as 'Bill Ryan', is the fourth since then. Only in this lifetime have I even begun to reclaim some of the attributes that I worked very hard to attain when in Tibet. Like an athlete who suffered a broken leg, it takes a while to be able to run again. Lost abilities eventually return if one continues to work hard, but the rehabilitation isn't instant or guaranteed. It can sometimes take many lifetimes, many more than just four, to get 'back on the horse' again.
    • Doug (thepainterdoug) posted a terrific thread titled Is it all just EGO, "Team" and Tribe? As always, Doug posted a terrific question. I never replied on the thread, for much the same set of reasons as it's taken me so long to share my thoughts in this new post here.

      But related to his question, and I think intertwined, is that the disquieting truth is that much of what we often obsess with every day — political dramas, terrible events, concerning problems, and much much more — is a kind of Reality TV. When I was just 23, in my first job as a teacher, I had a discussion with one of the senior teachers at the school I was at, one of Britain's most prestigious. This other teacher was maintaining that it was so very valuable and educational to watch and follow the TV news every day.

      "But it's just entertainment", I said.

      She scoffed. "Of course it's not," she said. "It's important information for us all."

      So I asked her what had been on the news the previous evening. She couldn't remember.

      (And the internet is rather like that, too. )
    • A few years ago, I posted a thread called The Impermanence of All Things. I was stimulated to do that by visiting some old Inca ruins deep in the mountains here, the remains of some simple huts that were maybe 500 years old. It had quite an effect on me. I wondered who had lived there, what their hopes and dreams were, 'saw' the children playing in the nearby river, what their trials had been, what they thought and felt and struggles with and strived for in their lives.

      And now it was all gone. Just dust in the labyrinthine corridors of history.

      In my opening post of that thread, I wrote:

      ~~~

      We frail humans always try to hang on. We hang on to everything we want never to go away, never to be without. But it’s all futile and hopeless. We kid ourselves, we collect our stuff, we collect our people, we never, ever, really want to let go of anything or anyone.

      But in the end, we always must.

      I felt the Incas (and the backpack thief) taught me quite a lesson last weekend. From Shelley, the great English poet:

      I met a traveller from an antique land

      Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
      Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
      Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
      And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
      Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
      Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
      The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
      And on the pedestal these words appear:

      "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
      Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

      Nothing beside remains: round the decay
      Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
      The lone and level sands stretch far away.


    And so I need to try to conclude this post. What I've written is not fatalistic, far from it. It's liberating. My life is simple, but very rich. There's little that I want or need. Small things give great pleasure. I try to be kind, aware that everything I say and do is a choice. I don't dwell on the past. The future before me is infinite. I am consciously thankful for many things each day.

    And at some time in the distant future, looking back on this human year we now call '2025', nothing that we now read or hear on the internet that happened yesterday, or will happen today, is likely to matter all that much.
    Wow, quite poetic Bill.

    And I cannot agree more to all of it, absolutely all of it, at soul levels.

    Love to you, universal understanding, no need to say more.
    How to let the desire of your mind become the desire of your heart - Gurdjieff

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Quote Posted by Flash (here)

    Wow, quite poetic Bill, no need to say more.
    Well put, Flash

    And Bill, thanks for very clear reply to many questions, including my own above, in a tangential but polite way. As you said above, quoting Jim Carrey… ‘it is enough’.

    I felt the same way about my recent interview attempts as you explain your take on the alt media podcast universe in your reply above. It was what I felt needed to be said because so many people are still caught, suffering. But I am free. I freed myself, and I did what I felt I needed to do to ‘break trail’ for the others who will do the same for themselves as well. Bushwacking.
    Some say ‘way showing’. You are probably more of that.
    For me… its been a ‘shwack’ the whole way. I like being on Avalon because its maybe taught me to attempt to move with more grace. Thanks for your modeling for that. You are always polite and indirectly direct. Its a good way to be. A rarity. Good to have a template when there are few living schematics for it!

    Thanks for all…
    Attentiveness without aim is the supreme form of prayer - Simone Weil
    I was only the void, pretending to be a man, pretending not to know the void. Sit in fool and be fool, that is all. - Jack Kerouak from Desolation Angels

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    @Bill - When you say that this mortal life is enough, you and I differ. Which I recognize and respect.

    For you; this mortal life is complete in itself; and you aspire to nothing other than more of the same kind of thing, eternally (i.e. reincarnation).

    But for me; the partial and/or brief nature of Joy; and the continual presence of change, decay, disease, death (i.e. entropy) - not to mention evil! - means that this mortal life does not suffice in ultimate terms. It is Not enough.

    I am with CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien in believing that our capacity for Joy, yet the fact that Joy is transient, implies that there is another and better world for us, where such desires and experiences may be fulfilled wholly and everlastingly - in other words Heaven.

    And, for me, the reality of salvation, my desire for Heaven, and the conviction that I can be transformed (resurrected, after death) to be there; is what saves this mortal life from tragedy; and means that the Joys of this world are saved from triviality and futility by being taken-up into eternal creation.

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    I live right next to Millfield school. Did you know Ghislaine maxwell went there? I also know a lot of other bloodline family members who have been there. There's a lot of interesting things that go on in this area.

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Hi Bill
    My question is this.
    I understand you knew Cathy Obrien?
    I don't know if this is true.
    My question is along the lines of how much you believe her story.
    Thank you

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    UK Avalon Founder Bill Ryan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Quote Posted by Tlevis (here)
    I live right next to Millfield school. Did you know Ghislaine maxwell went there? I also know a lot of other bloodline family members who have been there. There's a lot of interesting things that go on in this area.
    Ha — I never knew that. Do you know when she was there?

    But it doesn't surprise me at all... many elite people send their children there. (I was the form master of Mohamed Khashoggi, the son of billionaire arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi. He was an overweight little brat who paid other students £££ to do his homework for him. I had several phone calls with his well-known English mother, Soraya, who was very concerned about him.)

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Quote Posted by DNA (here)
    Hi Bill
    My question is this.
    I understand you knew Cathy Obrien?
    I don't know if this is true.
    My question is along the lines of how much you believe her story.
    Thank you
    No, I never actually knew Cathy O'Brien. I never met her, or had any communication with her.

    I don't doubt that her story is true. The only question I have is that there's so much reconstructed dialog in her book, which as best I understand she presents as being an on-record account of events and interactions, that it strains one's belief that she could possibly be recalling it all so accurately and completely. (And not only conversations, but day-to-day events and many many incidents sometimes presented in the finest detail.)

    I sometimes think back on significant events in my own life, as we all do. And with literally just two or maybe three exceptions, I can't remember the words that were said in any conversations at all, let alone exactly what I did every day. I could easily invent a lot of dialog for dramatic effect — but what was actually said is all evaporated, lost and gone many years ago.

    It is possible that she may have recalled it all in hypnotic regression, and had it all recorded. Maybe that was her source of all the detail... but if so, I'm not aware of that. (Maybe others know more?)

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    All I know is she went to Millfield preparatory school. And she born in 1961. You get a lot of Saudis going there. It's funny you say that because the other day I was looking at Americas most powerful families. One of them being the Cox family. And one of the sons James cox chambers is married to Adnan Khashoggi daughter Nabila Khashoggi, she also went to Millfield school.

    You also have guys like James Goldsmith of the Goldschmidt/Rothschilds family go there.
    And bilderberg members like billionaire Ömer Koç.
    The list goes on.
    David Beckham recently had his son Romeo go there.
    Also Nicolas cages son. If you look up on Google images Nicolas cage Glastonbury, you will see loads of images of him walking around. He bought a house on the ley lines and is really into the occult.
    Last edited by Tlevis; 24th January 2025 at 23:47.

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Hi Bill, I'm new to this forum—happy to be here! In the thread dedicated to Jesus, you mentioned a book Holy Blood, Holy Grail. I'm reading it at the moment—absolutely fascinating! Are there any other books like that you would recommend, particularly ones to read first? What are your favorite books or authors? (There are so many written about conspiracy theories, the rules of the world, and esoteric knowledge, so it can be difficult sometimes for people like me to find something that is truly worth reading). Thank you!

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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Quote Posted by RANDOMRANDOM (here)
    Hi Bill, I'm new to this forum—happy to be here! In the thread dedicated to Jesus, you mentioned a book Holy Blood, Holy Grail. I'm reading it at the moment—absolutely fascinating! Are there any other books like that you would recommend, particularly ones to read first? What are your favorite books or authors? (There are so many written about conspiracy theories, the rules of the world, and esoteric knowledge, so it can be difficult sometimes for people like me to find something that is truly worth reading). Thank you!
    A very warm welcome to our wonderful little community!

    Yes, Holy Blood, Holy Grail is quite something (the library link is here). The other book in the same vein that I would recommend is by Michael Baigent (one of the co-authors of Holy Blood, Holy Grail), called The Jesus Papers. It's here in the Avalon Library:

    https://avalonlibrary.net/ebooks/Mic...y%20(2006).pdf

    Just read the first chapter. That alone is plenty to think about!


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    Default Re: Bill Ryan's personal Question-and-Answer thread. Pile it on. :)

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    Quote Posted by DNA (here)
    Hi Bill
    My question is this.
    I understand you knew Cathy Obrien?
    I don't know if this is true.
    My question is along the lines of how much you believe her story.
    Thank you
    No, I never actually knew Cathy O'Brien. I never met her, or had any communication with her.

    I don't doubt that her story is true. The only question I have is that there's so much reconstructed dialog in her book, which as best I understand she presents as being an on-record account of events and interactions, that it strains one's belief that she could possibly be recalling it all so accurately and completely. (And not only conversations, but day-to-day events and many many incidents sometimes presented in the finest detail.)

    I sometimes think back on significant events in my own life, as we all do. And with literally just two or maybe three exceptions, I can't remember the words that were said in any conversations at all, let alone exactly what I did every day. I could easily invent a lot of dialog for dramatic effect — but what was actually said is all evaporated, lost and gone many years ago.

    It is possible that she may have recalled it all in hypnotic regression, and had it all recorded. Maybe that was her source of all the detail... but if so, I'm not aware of that. (Maybe others know more?)
    I sat on this for a bit and feel I am ready for my attempt at a cogent response.

    I have not read Cathy's book but recently saw her film and also had some very poignant personal contact over email with her as I had shared news of my own efforts to 'go public' as a survivor of mind control.

    So to be clear, I live with Dissociative Identity Disorder as I beleive does Cathy although I am not sure she states it like this, but this is what the structured personality systems coming out of government mind control projects are... we live with DID, and depending on where one is at in healing, it is on a spectrum of integration or continued dissociation.

    So the short answer to your conundrum about how she would be able to remember a conversation from decades ago verbatim, by trying to compare it to your own experience of memory is... not going to get you anywhere useful. To use the Spock phrase from Star Trek, "its life Jim, but not as we know it." Memory in a structured personality system that has been subjected to trauma since the youngest age when all neural pathways were first forming is a different thing than your experience of the world. All the pleasure/pain principles were hijacked and reversed, and purposeful miscuing from adults has been hardwired. So understanding that going in is important. Its not just apples and oranges. Its like hummus versus a Dorito chip. One is a recipe that is itself a complex creation (tahini alone is its own recipe) but in the end the idea is to have something nourishing for the body. A dorito was created with artificial ingredients whose only purpose was to be intensely craved and yet not only offer no nurtritional content, but be actively harmful to the body. So... there is just no comparison. One is food, one is not. Your brain may store memory one way, but a government mind controlled mind that is in healing is working on processing on more than one level at once, on a spectrum between hummus (the healing path) and the Dorito life it was tortured to accept. That is overly simplified but hopefully descriptive.

    Another big point to grasp... trauma memory is stored as PRESENT TENSE. For a survivor with multiple self aspects, there may be some parts that still do not know the trauma is over and they are still 'in' the scene where their first split/coming into existence was created. So its like living in a house (your mind/consciousness) where there are some rooms that are still active concentration camps with parts that are in current states of trauma.

    To make it all more complicated, in more intense projects there were multiple parts created to each hold different aspects of the trauma memories. So a pain holding part, an emotional content holding part, a veridical memory part (facts like names, dates, places, etc), plus depending on how one was used there are going to be RECORDER parts whose job it was to memorize conversations exactly exact, for recall later. Remember Cathy was probably first generation Monarch, long before body recording devices were easily available. And plus that can be discovered. And she was working at high levels like Pentagon. Of course she would have spent hours and hours (mostly in psychic driving) or intense do or die scenarios where one HAD to remember the instruction sets given AND the correct sequences in order to survive..... this was how the recorder parts got really excellent at the memory storing. So yes, you may not remember a conversation last week in a restauraunt with friends, especially if you had a beer or two. But for someone who has been forced to remember things or die, or not be fed, or not be allowed to use the toilet.... all while ALSO maybe having been given insulin to drop the blood sugar and make you foggy minded, or given psychedelics, or what have you ... and you STILL have to remember it all perfectly or you will be electrocuted, or raped, or left alone in a cold room with no clothes for days..... beleive me, you are going to have that skill no matter how long its been. Sometimes I have the opposite experience of you, and I am baffled by how people close to me can't remember intricate details from things fairly recently (like last week, or five years ago, makes no difference to the recorder parts, they are sort of timeless) and likewise they don't understand how I can remember that stuff. Its a matter of how deep into the memory work to retreive those parts one has gone.

    Also, this points out why it is so hard to fully clear all the trauma. Because one scene alone may have say 8 different parts, all squirrelled away inside the mind, none of them wanting to come together/work in a team to share what they know, because they are trying to keep the whole system safe and remembering can be really destabilizing all around. So it may have taken 2 weeks of 4 hours a day flashbacks and you think you have cleared the scene but then years later you wake up and feel like you have been drugged, you have stuff you'd like to do and nope, you are going to sit on the couch and be sedated all day with no drugs on board whatsoever because whoops, that part that was drugged is still 'in' the memory, and that is what it remembers, right down to the body equivalent that is 'up' for you 30 years later... Until you can work together internally as a team, commit to healing, and then figure out largely by trial and error how to wake that part up, get it to realize it is not happening now, that it is over, (which will make it realize it is not actually currently sedated, and you can have your day back), well, its a big fat mess. I mean grocery shopping can get really complicated when there are 5 you's 'up' and one of them is a traumatized 4 year old who now sees ice cream and candies and the more health conscious adult part is like 'look, let's get green beans' and the four year old has put all kinds of other stuff in the cart. And then has a panic attack when she sees a yellow label and starts crying and you have to just walk out because its the only option. Anyways..... that is what the rough moments of integration amidst trying to go on living is like.

    So yeah, I have no doubt Cathy could remember a conversation verbatim decades later. Don't even get me started on trying to describe what getting body memories back is like. Its awful.

    Anyways, hope that helps. No hypnotic regression is needed. Mind control projects survivors lived in a suspended animation state of hypnosis for much of our lives. Its coming OUT of that that is the doozy, waking yourself up to realize its over. In fact 'hypnosis' sessions are a really bad idea for MK survivors, but I won't go into that here.

    If you want more info on this kind of memory from a more ''scientific" source, I would encourage people to look at the free sample of the Alison Miller book "Healing the Unimaginable" that is available on Amazon. Her other book "Becoming yourself, Healing from Mind Control" will also offer helpful insights into what is required in the ongoing and by necessity slow going self rescue process that is healing. there is only a narrow 'window of tolerance' for getting the memories back that any one can take, so this means if you are dealing with thousands of trauma scenes, all of them fractured into multiple parts that are each holding part of the memory, it can take a long, long time to get through. And in the meantime, its messy and weird and inexplicably strange and no one beleives you and calls you a freak and oh, how are you supposed to work to make money to survive? Because the government offers no "disability" insurance for survivors of its own experiments that leave you barely able to make the sink work on a morning after the heavy duty recall work.

    Hope that is vaguely useful.

    Sorry if I sound moody. Its just sometimes frustrating because I have an entirely different 'processor' in my head and my software is mostly non-translatable for normal people's software codes, but I still have to try and fit in with yours because that is the standard issue. I am not mad and I just want to explain what life after mind control is really like, but doritos in hummus taste really funky. My apologies if the flavor of my words is off for you too. ..... the heartfelt aspect probably got lost in translation, but know that I took the effort to share this with the intent for mutual understanding...... and to answer a question that most people will never find someone willing or able to answer.
    Attentiveness without aim is the supreme form of prayer - Simone Weil
    I was only the void, pretending to be a man, pretending not to know the void. Sit in fool and be fool, that is all. - Jack Kerouak from Desolation Angels

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